help

It was dark, but it wasn't, light but it wasn't. It felt like eternal nothingness and yet everything was there. Every feeling, every memory, every single moment of this excruciatingly painful life. All laid out like a library of books, ready to be opened and remembered at any time. But in the middle of all the memories was the screen, the screen that he was forced to watch.

His present actions.

He felt everything that happened there, the pain and the disgusting joy at watching his "enemies" fall. He also saw everything, every moment that happened, and everything the other him was doing. Loki had learned to control people from an early age with just a few words, but this was different, entirely new. He had no idea what to do or how to stop all of this.

He didn't even know what to call the person who was on the outside, the one doing the horrific things. He'd decided to just call him his other self, but deep down he worried that maybe this was the real him. He may have been mind-controlled but maybe this feeling of wanting power and to conquer no matter the cost was always there inside him.

But he couldn't focus on those thoughts, not right now when the situation was dire. So instead he watched as his other self hurt innocent people and Thor.

Thor.

When Thor first appeared, he didn't know how to react. The other him was scared, which of course made him happy. But for his real self, seeing his brother for the first time was overwhelming with so many feelings that he didn't know he had in him.

Guilt. Happiness. Sorrow. Love.

It didn't feel right after everything but it did. He couldn't put into words how it felt, but he did know it felt good to feel the other Loki as terrified. But then all of those good feelings died away quickly as he watched what the other did to Thor. How he treated him like nothing, hurt his friends, hurt innocent people.

Hurt him.

Everything was becoming too much, and the longer he was trapped the worse it got. He knew he had to find a way out of this hell, but where to begin? He did know that the answer must be in his mind somewhere, that there must be something out there past the thousands of bookshelves.

But first, he must get out of these restraints, and that alone is no simple task. He felt his other self in his mind and knew that it knew everything he was thinking and feeling. At first, he tried to hide his feelings, but soon knew it was hopeless and let them out. Now his every thought is heard, but his other self seems to not be worrying about Loki creating a plan to escape. He seems to be so wrapped up in the power he was gaining that he didn't even think for a second he could escape.

Maybe his other self is right. But maybe he's not.

It's all about finding the right moment, the one where he can and break free, if only for a second. If he could do that he'd know it's possible, he'd know that there was a way out of here. That maybe he could escape and actually see Thor as himself, as well as his Mother.

Gods he missed his Mother, missed her soothing voice and her wise words. He'd give anything to see her, have her wrap her arms around him, and say "Everything is going to be okay my son."

Again, he knew that he shouldn't be focusing on that stuff, but maybe he should be. It gives him something to fight for, something strong and real, something that's out there waiting for him.

While he was planning his escape, he stopped as he watched his current actions. One look at the screen of the present left him mortified. The Chitauri were flooding the streets of New York, tearing the city apart. He watched thousands of people running for their lives, some making it to safety while others didn't. And he watched as his other self stood over it all, watching over and felt the joy his not me was feeling.

It made him want to vomit.

He had tried to take over worlds before, Jotunheim specifically. But that was different, he was in the wrong mindset and the people had hurt him. His birth father left him to die, they wanted war with Asgard. But maybe those are all excuses for what he had wanted to do. Reasoning why him wanting to kill all of the Frost Giants is different than what his other self is doing with the Chitauri and mortals. He knew that was his other self was doing was almost exactly what he was planning to do. Maybe that's why watching it hurt more, because not only were the mortals defenseless, they were being slaughtered just because of him.

They hadn't done anything wrong, just like the Frost Giants hadn't. He was willing to kill an entire species just because one of them had wronged him years ago. And now his other self, maybe even his true self, was killing a species just for power.

Everything seemed hopeless, until the "Avengers" as they deemed themselves came into the picture. He finally believed that maybe, just maybe, they could win this battle. But as the war between the Chitauri and the Avengers raged, he only grew less hopeful. There were too many of them for the Avengers to handle. He wanted to scream to them that they needed to close the portal, needed the scepter, needed to defeat him at whatever costs.

And finally, they were smart enough to do so. The portal was closed, the Chitauri were defeated, and now his other self was the only thing left for them to conquer. All they had to do was surround him, and when he saw their faces looming over him he couldn't help but smile. The restraints were put on him and he was taken to the SHIELD Helicarrier, where he would remain for the time being.

He wanted to speak to Thor as soon as possible, but the Avengers had left while he was being transported. Instead, he was placed back into the cell covered in equipment to keep him inside along with many agents placed around to guard. He learned quickly that he wouldn't be able to see Thor for a while, as interrogators entered to question him and try and gain valuable information from him.

Where did the Chitauri come from?

How did the mind control work?

What happens to people who were controlled after they're freed?

Will this kind of threat happen again?

So many questions and his other self didn't answer a single one. They tried to get him to talk through a multitude of ways, but the resulting pain of some of those ways was just sent into himself and not his other-self. His other self didn't even flinch, while he was in agony.

Finally, they decided to stop the questions for a while, and Loki was given a chance to breathe. He hadn't yet tried to speak with his other self, maybe that could work.

"Why are you doing this to me!," he yelled towards the screen.

"Your a valuable asset to our cause," said a voice back.

"Well, there are plenty of other powerful beings, ones more powerful than me, out there. Why me?"

"Why not you?"

"I'm serious, why me?"

Loki waited for an answer, but none came. Instead, he waited for something to happen and waited for the next interrogator to enter. When the door opened though, he and his other self were surprised by who stood there.

Thor.

Finally, he had the chance to speak to his brother, to make him see what is happening. He felt the wall in his mind, the one separating him from his other self's thoughts. Every once in a while the wall would open for a second so he could hear his other self's thoughts. Maybe just maybe, he could do it. He hit over and over against the wall, trying to get it to break if only for a second. The wall though wasn't budging, yet he still persisted.

Thor meanwhile stood right outside his cell, just staring at him.

"Hello brother," he said.

Loki hearing that hit the wall even harder, knowing now that Thor still saw him as his brother, even after everything.

"I am not your brother you oaf," spit out his other-self.

"You are to me Loki, always will be. Even after everything you've done."

Thor walked even closer towards the cell, and his blank face turned to one of anger. "Why did you do this Loki? What have the mortals ever done to you?"

"Survived. Such a weak species, who lies and cheats to get by in their short lifespans. They are pathetic."

"They can be unwise, but that does not mean they deserve to be killed. There is good in this world."

"I don't see anything even resembling good."

"That's because you aren't looking hard enough. Sometimes the good is right there, but you're just too blind to see."

Thor placed his hand on the glass, his face now morphing into sadness. "I miss the good times that seem so distant now. I miss my brother, I miss you Loki."

At that, Loki punched as hard and fast as he could, and he felt the wall start to soften.

"I am not you brother," his other self said.

"But you were Loki! I'm sorry for wronging you, for never realizing what I was doing. I was selfish and blind."

The wall started to crack, and though Loki felt exhausted he kept hitting. His other self walked closer to Thor, standing a few feet away from him.

"Your stupid if you think that you apologizing will change anything."

"It doesn't matter what this apology will result in Loki, you still deserve it even after the battle you just caused. The mortals won't forgive you, and even I am having a hard time thinking about what you did, but this new you will not tarnish the good memories I have with you. The good memories I have of my brother."

"It would be best if you forgot those times existed. I never saw you as my brother, only a person I had to conquer. Those memories you hold close to your heart, none of them were real. And if you think they were then you are even more stupid than I thought. Someday soon you better get it through your thick head to understand that I am not your brother, I never was and I never will be. So have fun with your mortal friends, and just know that as soon as I'm out of here I will tear them limb from limb, and I will make you watch. You will watch them suffer, watch them scream in pain and agony, and then I will destroy this pathetic species. You will watch Midgard fall to its knees, watch the people beg to be saved, and will see they will do anything to survive. You'll see that this species is not worth being saved, that they are pathetic excuses of life who need to be kill-"

Loki's hand burst through the wall and went through the small opening that he had created. He knew he didn't have much time before it would close again. He felt himself go back into his body, and he collapsed to the floor breathing heavily and frantic. He felt like his entire body was in pieces, and the pain was so unbearable he almost passed out. But he knew he didn't have much time before he'd be thrown back into the restraints, so with the few seconds he had, he looked up at his brother, not hiding any of his feelings, and muttered one word. A word he hadn't said to Thor or any person in his entire life, and if he had he never meant it truly.

"Help."