Something strange was going on.
Mobius was certain it had something to do with his mischief-prone roommates, but he couldn't be sure.
At first, it was just little things here and there. His book going missing from the nightstand only to be found under the bed a minute later, a coffee mug smashing to the ground without anything being close enough to knock it over. These were normal, fairly mundane things that could happen to anyone, so he didn't think much of it.
Then the 'presents' arrived.
*****************
The first one of these lovely gifts was in the form of a dead bird laying on the doorstep. Mobius nearly tripped over it when he opened the door to grab the mail.
He was attempting to scrape it off the porch when Sylvie came up behind him.
"What happened here?"
"Hey Vie...probably some stray cat left it's kill behind."
"Oh,"she said as she viewed the decaying being with vague interest before turning towards him,"What's a cat?"
"You mean you've never seen one?"
"Not that I can recall,but I didn't really stop to find out the label of everything I came across in an apocalypse."
"Well they're fuzzy, a little dramatic at times, have a tendency to bite......what's so funny?"
Sylvie was laughing so hard that she could barely speak.
"I'm sorry....but.....are you sure....that's....that's a cat....you're describing....or Loki?"
She was still laughing when Loki came downstairs and approached them.
"Mobius did we get anything in the ma-what on earth happened to her?"
"Nothing darling, nothing at all," she said when she finally recovered enough to breath," we need to get going to that appointment....good luck with your fowl problem Moby."
"Yeah...foul's about right."
Once they left he disposed of the bird and shut the door, hoping that would be the end of it.
***************
It was not the end of it.
Every morning, there was a fresh corpse of some kind laying by the front door. Birds, mice, squirrels....you name it, Mobius found it. He tried putting out some cat food, thinking that might stop the carnage. When there was no body to greet him the next day he counted it as a success.
That is, until he he opened his closet that evening.
"Ok, which one of you did it?"
Loki looked up from the show he and Sylvie were watching to stare at Mobius in confusion.
"Did what?"
"Brought that stray cat into the house!"
"But...we don't have a cat Mobius."
"Clearly we do," the forner agent huffed," Because I can't imagine what else left an evicerated rat in my closet."
"Evicerated? This I've got to see!"
Sylvie hopped up off the couch and headed upstairs with the boys trailing behind. But when they opened the closet, there was no trace of an animal, dead or otherwise.
"But I could've sworn..."
"Mobius, I think all these cat 'gifts' we've been receiving lately are starting to get to you. Maybe you should get some rest?"
"So the cat, that is most definitely in here no matter what you say, can leave something in the bed with me?!"
"Why don't you sleep in our room tonight?" Sylvie suggested as she guided him in the direction of the master suite," It's heavily warded, so no feline assailant will be able to find you."
"I feel like you're just humoring me but alright."
He grabbed his blanket and pillow and headed towards the Chaos Góðs' bedroom. In the center of the room was a massive California King that had been magically enhanced to appear larger than a normal bed. Mobius yawned, mumbled something about how it must be nice to have magical expansions, crawled in, and promptly fell asleep.
************
Later that night, the time agent was woken up by something fuzzy tickling his nose. He opened his eyes slowly.....and came face to face with the biggest black cat he'd ever seen in his life.
"HOLY SHIT!"
He leapt out of the bed as the animal lazily circled and sat down on the comforter. It was easily the size of a panther with claws twice as sharp as those of an everyday house cat. He carefully crept towards the door, making sure to keep the beast within his sight. As soon as he made it to the edge, he ran through, slammed it shut and locked it.
"Phew, that was close."
His relief was short lived when he heard a low growling behind him. Mobius turned around and, to his horror, saw another huge cat.
He dove to the side as it leaped towards him and scrambled his way towards the stairs. Halfway down he managed to slip on one of his own jet ski magazines(in hindsight he really should have listened when Sylvie told him to put them away) and fell to the bottom.
He sat up groggily and groaned when he noticed that the second Panther had somehow made its way out of the locked bedroom.
This was bad....real bad.
"LOKI!SYLVIE!YOU TWO BETTER STOP DOING THE MAGIC TANGO AND GET DOWN HERE! WE'RE IN DEEP....AAAACCK!"
The big cats leapt at Mobius, and he put his arms up in a weak attempt to defend himself. But instead of attacking they just....licked him?!
"What...the...fuck..."
In a flash of green magic, the animals were gone,and crouching in their place were the two Góðs of Mischief.
"Happy Loki's Day!"
"Wait...what..."
"April Fools Day,Mobius,it's today," Loki said with a grin,"but on Ásgarð it was called Loki's Day because I'm the patron deity of tricks and pranks. When I found out Miðgarð still hosts the holiday, I suggested to Sylvie we share it with you."
"So you two were behind all the deceased wildlife I got?"
"Except for the first bird, he's what gave us the idea."
As annoyed as Mobius had been by the whole bit, he had to admit the excitement on his friends faces was pretty infectious.
"Happy Loki's Day to you too, you mischievous scamps."