I Just Need A Hug
It would be an understatement to say Maria was having horrible week. On Monday, she was overseeing a mission that was supposed to be a quick in and out, but quickly turned into a deadly hostage situation. As the only high ranking agent with knowledge about the mission, she had to be part of the extraction team to safely get the agents out. Unfortunately, they lost 2 agents and there were 4 currently in the medbay. She couldn’t sleep that night, too overcome with grief and flashbacks to her army days. She spent Tuesday arranging funerals and calling the families of the deceased agents which was never easy.
She didn’t sleep Tuesday either.
Wednesday was a little easier. She was still upset but there was nothing she could do except accept it. She was swamped with paperwork that whole day until there was an incident in the gym. Two junior agents were fighting,yet again, and Maria was over it, so she used an ICER and sent them to the medbay. Totally worth the extra paperwork and hopefully, there are no more fights.
Fury sent her home that night, she slept for 3 hours.
Thursday was long and even more stressful than the last 3 days. She was training the picks for strike teams Alpha and Beta. Honestly with the way they looked, she doesn’t know how they made it out of basic training, let alone became SHIELD agents. She enjoyed beating their asses on the mats though. Then she had a meeting with Fury about the agents she used the ICER on. (“Hill, why did you ICE agents Davis and Jones?” “Honestly, sir I just didn’t feel like breaking up yet another fight and that was an easier solution. Besides, they’ll be fine tomorrow.”) Then she had a meeting with the World Security Council and those assholes always manage to ruin her day.
Fury sent her home again that night, she slept for 4 hours.
Even though all that happened, the worst part about Maria’s week was the fact that Natasha wasn’t there. She had been on an Avengers mission since Friday and they had little to no contact. Maria understood the gravity of their jobs and knew they couldn’t always be together but she would kill for a hug from Natasha. A hug from Natasha wouldn’t solve all her problems but it would help. She also sleeps better when Nat is there. Everything's better when Natasha is around.
Unbeknownst to Maria, Friday was going to be the best day of her week because Natasha was coming home, of course Maria didn’t know that.
The first thing Natasha did after the Quinjet landed on the Helicarrier was go to Fury’s office for a debrief, the quicker she gets done, the quicker she can get to Maria. An hour later, she was finished but before she could leave Fury called her name.
“Natasha, when you see Maria, can you tell her she has the next week off unless there’s an emergency, you can take this week off too.” Fury said, concern evident in his voice.
“Why? What happened?” Now, Natasha was worried, her and Maria barely spoke while she was gone, and they definitely hadn’t talked long enough for Maria to tell her if anything happened.
“It’s better if she tells you but it’s been a long week for her. She didn’t go home Monday or Tuesday, I would like to believe she slept in her office but knowing her, she didn’t. I sent her home Wednesday and Thursday so she could get some sleep, but who knows if she did.” Fury was worried about his commander. Maria and Natasha (and Carol) were like his children and seeing her like that, honestly broke his heart.
Natasha just nodded before taking her leave, rushing to Maria’s office. She knocked and heard Maria let out a deep sign before telling her to come in. She walked in and Maria didn’t look up from her stack of papers.
“What do you need?” Natasha could hear the exhaustion in her voice, and she bet if Maria was looking at her, she’d see it in her face too.
“Well that’s not the greeting I expected after being gone for almost a week.” Maria’s head shot up at the sound of her voice, and she let a small smile grace her face.
“Hi Talia, how was your mission? Did you go to medbay?” Natasha had a habit of skipping medbay whenever she came back from missions and Maria usually had to force her to go.
“It was fine, and I only have a few scratches, nothing to go to medbay for.” She walked up to Maria and took her pen.
“I was using that.” Maria frowned. She needed to get those reports done before more things started piling up.
“Too bad, Fury gave us a week off and it starts now, no more paperwork. Now get your stuff so we can go home.” She could see Maria about to argue with her but she gave her one of those ‘I’m not joking’ glares and Maria shut her mouth. It was best not to argue when Nat has her mind set on something.
“Fine, I need a break anyway.” She logged out her computer and fixed the papers on her desk before grabbing her bag and Natasha's hand, then closing the door.
The walk to the car and the drive home were silent, both women happy to be back in each other’s presence. When they got home, Maria collapsed on the couch, she was just so tired. Natasha lifted her girlfriend’s head before sitting and laying her head on her lap. She took Maria’s hair out of her bun and began running her fingers through her short hair. She smiled softly when Maria hummed happily and her body fully relaxed on the couch. For a ‘cold-hearted Commander’, Maria could be adorable when she wanted to.
“Ria, what happened while I was gone?” Nat asked softly. She felt her girlfriend tense up, before relaxing again.
“Tash, it was so awful. On Monday, we lost 2 agents and had 4 injured on a mission that I planned and I had to go into the field for extraction because I was the only higher up who knew all the details. I just couldn’t sleep that night, too many flashbacks. Then I spent Tuesday arranging funerals and speaking to their families and-” she couldn’t even finish, she just broke down crying.
Her fingers grasped Nat’s hoodie and she buried her face in Natasha’s stomach. Nat instantly went to console her, rubbing small circles on her back and telling her that it wasn’t her fault.
“It was my fault, Talia. I planned the mission, I sent them there and they didn’t come back. That’s on me.” Maria always blames herself when agents don't come back from missions, especially ones she planned. She still blames herself for a mission gone wrong during her Marine days because she gave the OK.
“Masha, no you can’t blame yourself for that. There was no way you could’ve known. I know you, your backup plans have backup plans. This wasn’t on you.” Nat told her.
“But-”
“No.” Natasha firmly said. Her fingers softly gripped Maria’s face, making sad blue eyes look up at her. “You are one of the few people I trust to have my back and my best interest during missions. I never have to worry when you’re on comms during missions because I know you went over every detail with a fine tooth comb and your plans have plans. Sometimes these things happen and they suck but you did everything you could and that has to be enough.” Maria didn’t say anything, but a tear rolled down her face before Nat leaned down and kissed it away. She then planted kisses all over Maria’s face, making her laugh softly, before kissing her forehead, the tip of her nose, and finally her lips.
“I love you.” Maria whispered. She did, she loved Nat with all her heart. “I love you too.”
“Do you want to finish or do you want to tell me later?” Natasha asked after a few minutes of silence.
“Can we get out of these clothes first?” Maria would rather finish this conversation in sweats, her tac suit was starting to annoy her.
Nat didn’t say anything, just gestured for her to sit up and held her hand out. When they walked into their room, Maria went straight for the shower, while Nat grabbed them some clothes. When Nat walked into the bathroom, she saw Maria standing in the shower with her head pressed against the wall through the foggy glassdoor. She undressed and opened the door to get in with her. The second the door shut, Maria pulled her into a hug which Nat quickly reciprocated.
“Mia?” she questioned. “I just needed a hug." Maria mumbled. She didn’t say anything after that, just hugged her love for as long as she needed her too.
Maria pulled after a few moments, seemingly content and more settled after that. She then reached for the soap and her washcloth, Nat following her lead. Just like in the car, they didn’t talk, they didn’t need to. When the water started to get cold, they got out, wrapping themselves in towels before drying off and changing and going back into the living room.
“It’s getting late, what do you want to eat?” Natasha asked. She could eat just about anything right now.
“It doesn’t matter, I’m not feeling too picky.” Maria said. And I haven’t eaten in like 3 days , but she kept that thought to herself.
“Speaking of food, how long has it been since you had food? Fury told me you barely left your office.” Maria wondered if Nat could read minds or if she just knew her that well.
“Three days…” she trailed off.
“Mia,” Natasha exasperated, “you need to eat and take care of yourself better. Stop sacrificing your health for the sake of the job or else you won’t be able to help people.” She repeated the same sentence Maria told her a few months after she defected to SHIELD.
Maria let out a deep sigh. “I know, I’m sorry, I was just so caught up. I’ll try not to do this again next time. Can we just order a pizza?”
“That’s all I ask. Do you want the usual?” Maria just nodded her answer. She went to sit on the couch and studied Natasha. She was wearing black widow shorts (a gift from Clint) and one of the many shirts she’s stolen from Maria. She looks so cute. Maria thought to herself.
“Pizza is gonna be here in 20 minutes, are you ready to finish telling me about your week?” Nat asked, coming over, straddling Maria’s lap.
“There isn’t much to say. I used an ICER on agents Davis and Jones for fighting. I don't know what it is with the junior agents and fighting but it gives me such a headache. They should be out of the medbay today. Fury sent me home, I slept for about 3 hours. Yesterday, I had a meeting with Fury about why I used the ICER. Then a meeting with the WSC, I hate them so much and Fury sent me home again, and I slept for about 4 hours. And now we’re here.” Maria shrugged.
“You’re telling me that out of 4 days, you only managed to sleep 7 hours?!” Nat exclaimed.
“Yeah, but I’m fine and now I have a week to catch up on sleep.” Maria replied sheepishly.
“Maria,” she dragged out the A at the end of her name, “you’re lucky I love you and want you to eat or I’d throw you in the bed my damn self.”
“I tried it’s just…Monday was awful and every time I would close my eyes, I would see their bodies. And I’m so used to the weight of your body on top of mine, that the weighted blanket in my office didn't help the situation.” She emitted wearily, leaning her head on Nat’s chest.
“I won’t say it’s okay, ‘cause it’s not but I can't get mad cause I’ve done the same, but the way you tell me to take care of myself, you need to take care of yourself too.” Nat empathized, playing with Maria’s hair. “Now, let’s watch Criminal Minds while we wait. I wanna see Emily.” Nat rejoiced.
“You just think she’s hot.” Maria rolled her eyes playfully.
“Don’t say that like you don’t get excited everytime you see JJ.” Nat exclaimed.
“Whatever, just put it on.” Maria said, poking Nat’s side causing her to giggle.
Maria smiled softly, the beginning of her week might’ve been terrible, but the end of it was already getting better.