Denial
"Look at what you got us into this time." Natasha joked to Steve as he watched out the entrance of the cave; he surveyed for oppressors but the pouring rain did a good job at concealing their trail.
He gave her a smirk and rolled his eyes at the sound of her joke, knowing full well that it was partially her fault their cover was blown.
"You shouldn't have punched him." She added in a teasing tone.
"He deserved it." He chuckled, causing her to smile at him.
They were sent on a mission by Coulson, their task was to go undercover to a private gala in Venezuela; with the fall of SHIELD lots of precious weaponry and alien artifacts had gone missing with some of the undercover HYDRA agents. Some of them ended up in the hands of new HYDRA factions that were forming, others were bought up by corrupted millionaires and billionaires at private auctions like this one. Their mission was to get in, find the stolen Kree tech and get out, simple.
It started off fine: Natasha and Steve had gotten into the gala unnoticed; Natasha wore a blonde wig to hide her infamous red locks and Steve, well Steve didn't have to change his appearance at all —his face was always covered by his helmet, so he didn't get recognized very often. They intended to sweet-talk their way to finding out where the artifact was being held –or Natasha was going to sweet-talk her way, that was until Steve lost his cool when a young mob boss started flirting with Natasha.
It was nothing serious at first, simple glances her way, sending drinks, smiles... She noticed his subtle flirting and got up from her chair, dragging Steve onto the dance floor with her.
"Dance with me." She commanded as she led him to the center of the dance floor, making sure she was in view of the man.
"What's happening?" Steve asked while taking her hand in his and placing his other one on her waist.
"To your right" —She tilted her head, pointing to the man watching them dance— "He's been watching me for the past ten minutes. We could use him."
He listened to her explain the plan, but didn't even notice that he stopped paying attention halfway to admire her. He slowly waltzed her across the dance floor; her body felt so natural in his hands, the way the blonde hair covered up the side of her face just made him ache for her red hair even more —like it was teasing him. He couldn't explain it, but he wanted to be closer to her. Even though their bodies were only centimeters apart, that still wasn't close enough for him.
"I think it's working." She said, snapping him from his thoughts.
He refocused on the task at hand and noticed that the man was now angrily taking a sip of alcohol from his spot off the dance floor, glaring at Steve as he swallowed the drink. He had a handsome and stern looking face, but at this moment, he looked ravenous.
Steve glared back at him, not even knowing why he was suddenly so protective of Natasha. "I don't like him."
She laughed. "And here I thought you liked everyone."
He rolled his eyes and chuckled, but then put on a more serious tone. "Are you sure about this?"
"Of course." She smiled cockily, which only caused him to get even more worried.
After a few minutes of dancing the man approached Natasha and Steve.
"Excuse me." He said to the pair, stopping their dance. "Do you mind dancing with me, Ms.—"He said with a charming smile.
"Rushman. Natalie Rushman." Natasha gave him an enticing smile as she took his hand.
"Would you have this dance with me, Ms. Rushman?"
"Of course." They left Steve alone as the man led her to another part of the dance floor.
She played the man's game, hoping that it would lead her to what she was looking for; Steve, of course, was against it but followed her lead anyway. He watched from afar with a drink in hand, angrily sipping from it as he watched the young mob boss circle around her and touch her waist with his tainted hand. It made Steve's blood boil —he would've shattered the cup if he squeezed it any harder. But still, he watched.
"So, how are you enjoying the party?" The man asked Natasha while spinning her around.
"It's wonderful, I only wish I could meet whoever set this entire thing up, so I could tell them."
The man gave her an arrogant smile and leaned closer to her. "I'll tell you a secret. You're dancing with him." He whispered into her ear.
She gave him a seductive smile. "Well, I guess it's my lucky day."
She continued flattering him, knowing that the combination of her beauty and appealing to his ego would get her closer to what she needed from him.
"You know as much fun as this is, I can't help but want to see something a bit more..." —She leaned her head closer to his ear and whispered into it— "Exclusive."
Her beguiling tone caused him to shiver as he looked at her and leaned in for a kiss. He gave her a ravenous smile and moved his lips closer to hers.
Steve managed to keep his wits about him until he saw the man leaning in to kiss Natasha. That was where he drew the line, he ran up to them and punched the mobster square in the face, despite Natasha still following along with his flirting.
Steve punched the man so hard that he fell over onto the dance floor with a giant "thud". It caught the attention of every person in the room, causing everyone to stop their conversations and turn their attention to the commotion.
"Steve!" Natasha shouted in both annoyance and disbelief.
The mobster jumped off the ground and punched Steve right across the cheek, though he didn't do any real damage. The entire room broke into a frenzy when one person recognized him as Captain America; Natasha grabbed Steve's wrist and began running towards the exit while trying not to get caught by any of the security detail there.
They managed to make their way out of the giant mansion and into the jungle surrounding it after fighting off a few of the security guards. They made it a few hundred feet into the forest where Natasha took off her long red dress to reveal a pair of black leggings and a white tank top underneath, Steve gave her a funny look when he saw the outfit.
"What? You try running in a dress." She stated.
He smiled. "I do miss my actual suit."
They ran farther into the jungle while Natasha activated the SOS signal in her watch and asked for an emergency extract from SHIELD. They stopped running after a while, when Natasha spotted an open cave for them to hide in, just in time too since it was just starting to rain.
"I was this close to getting the information we needed." She half pinched her fingers together. "You couldn't wait just five more minutes to punch him." She sarcastically asked while looking out the opening of the cave.
"I'm sorry... I just got really angry." He said while looking at the ground.
"Endearing as that is, I can handle myself." She reassured.
"I know you can. It's just..."
"What?" She asked softly.
"Fighting with your fists and fighting with your lips are two different things. You shouldn't have to kiss someone you're not comfortable with for a mission... I hate that you feel like you do."
She was shocked but didn't let him see; for so long, flirting and using her body to appeal to men had been part of the job. She was a spy after all. She truly didn't mind doing what needed to be done, but she was also touched that someone was thinking about her personal feelings. Even if she didn't show it.
She took a deep breath to calm her frustration. "Don't be angry. I'm not forcing myself into anything. I know my limits."
He nodded and sat quietly in the corner, waiting for the Quinjet to come and pick them up. She looked at him funny; he looked like a sad puppy sitting there in the corner.
"I love the rain." She announced to try and cheer him up.
He smiled and laughed. "Why? Because it's all gloomy and dark?" He joked.
"Because it's peaceful." She said sincerely, while she watched the rain drops bounce onto the grass. "It's always loud in New York: people hailing taxis, cars honking, sirens blaring. But when it rains, it almost mutes out all the noise —all you can hear are the rain drops falling on the windows. Like for a moment, time is frozen."
He looked at her, almost confused. The women he got used to being around never opened up like this, sure, she did a little while they were on the run from HYDRA and the Winter Soldier, but it wasn't the same as now. This time it felt more genuine, like she was genuinely opening her heart to him.
"Nat..." He said as he moved closer to her.
She watched him walk up to her intently, his eyes looking down to hers; the world around them seemed to go quiet. The rain stopped and the wind stood still. They would've gone on like that forever if the sound of a jet didn't break them from their trance .
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"Steve." He heard someone call as he came crashing to the ground.
He opened his eyes to see Natasha standing over him, she arched her eyebrow and smirked at him.
"Where's your head at today?"
He smiled and continued laying on the ground, catching his breath. He looked around the room he was in and let the world come back to him. He had been daydreaming for so long that he almost forgot where he was.
"Sorry, I was just thinking about something." He huffed as he got up off the ground.
"You know this isn't exactly what I was picturing when you asked me to train with you today." She joked, grabbing her water bottle off the bench in the corner of the training room.
"What? You winning all our spars like you normally do?"
"You usually put up more of a fight. Besides, aren't you supposed to be the perfect soldier?"
"Doesn't change the fact that you're a better fighter." He grinned. "Plus, don't you have the super soldier serum too?"
"They do different things. We've been over this, yours was made by Erskine while mine was–"
"Yours was a weaker recreation made by the Red Room." He filled in.
She flashed him a teasing smile. "And they say you're only brawns."
She took a sip of her water while Steve began unwrapping his hands. She could tell that there was something on his mind but didn't know whether or not she should ask him what was wrong. He seemed distracted their entire training session; she figured that if it was bothering him this much then it must've been something big.
"What's on your mind?" She asked.
"Hm?" He mumbled, trying to play dumb.
She laughed. "I'm a spy, Rogers. I can tell when someone's hiding something. What's on your mind?"
He scoured his thoughts for a minute, not sure if what he wanted to say was the right thing. "You." He answered truthfully; he was scared of the reaction it might cause, but he was honestly so tired of pretending.
Natasha just stared at him as she waited for him to further explain. She knew what he meant but refused to acknowledge it, so this time she played dumb. She gave him a confused look –as if she couldn't read him like a book.
"What are we, Nat?"
"What do you mean? We're friends, aren't we?" She said nonchalantly.
He chuckled sarcastically. "Friends'. Yeah, that's what we are. We're just friends who stare into each other's eyes for long periods of time in silence, who almost kiss at parties, we're friends who have feelings for each other and won't admit it."
"Steve-"
"No... don't tell me we're just friends. Don't tell me we're just friends when every time we're together, we have to fight the urge not to feel something. What about when we were in that cave in Venezuela a month ago? Or at the party last week? We would've kissed on the balcony the day of Tony's party if you didn't get the mission alert –you call that 'being friends'?" He got up and gently took her hand into his.
"We were both tired after a long night, Rogers. We would've been making a mistake." She told him, still denying what her heart was telling her.
"I know you feel it too. Why do you keep lying to yourself?" He half shouted in frustration.
"...I'm a woman trained to lie." She said calmly and in a stern voice.
He looked at her, defeated. "...And I'm a man who won't." He finally added; it became clear to him now. Natasha wasn't denying him because she didn't feel for him too. She was scared of opening up to him, he could see it.
She nodded at him sadly. "I'm no good for you. I'll just hurt you." She said, thinking of the consequences her relationship with Bucky brought for the both of them. "We have a team to think of, there's more than just us at stake."
"You don't know that it won't work out..."
"And you don't know that it will. Even if we both want it to."
"If we 'both' want it to work out, then why are you so adamant in denying your feelings for me? I know you feel the same!" He declared in a frustrated tone.
She took a step closer to him and looked him deeply in the eyes —his heart skipped a beat at the thought of how close she was. "I'd only hurt you... we can't be together, Rogers." She gave him an apologetic look and walked out the training room.
He watched her leave then turned around and yelled out in frustration with his hands ruffling through his hair. He took a deep breath and sat back down on the bench. "What the hell were you thinking, Steve?" He whispered to himself.
He felt stupid for bringing it up, but he knew that he couldn't just keep denying his feelings. Every time he was around her he had to kill himself to not just grab her and kiss her. He knew that she felt the same for him , he just couldn't for the life of it understand why she was so against being with him. Especially when he couldn't get enough of her.
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There is a scene mentioned between the argument between Natasha and Steve about a party where they almost kissed. That scene is a flashback in my other book, so if you want to read it it's in chapter 12 of Next Target: Clint Barton.
Anyways, I'm very sorry for how late this chapter is, I've just been super busy. I promise there will be more action coming up, I just need to lay down the foundation first.
Please vote and leave a comment if you enjoyed.
Thanks for Reading!