Chapter 40
“Seriously Tony?” I said when I walked into the common room.
“You told her?” Tony accused Steve.
“Pizza night is on Friday.” Steve reminded him.
“You were so tired you didn’t even notice.” Tony said in his defense.
“We talked about work boundaries.” I said.
“I was being a good boss.” Tony said.
“No, a good boss makes sure the job gets done.” I said.
“You’re ahead on everything.” Tony said.
“I’m not ahead just because you say I’m ahead.” I said.
“I’m your boss so yes that is how it works.” Tony said.
“That doesn’t mean you change what day of the week it is and also playing favorites doesn’t work considering I’ve been on the job for like 5 minutes.” I said.
“You were tired, you didn’t eat yesterday, and you had a big week so I gave you the day off. You’re welcome.” Tony said.
“You don’t do that. I’m your PA, you’re the boss. Unless I ask for the day off you don’t give me the day off.” I said.
“But you’re not just my PA you’re my…” Tony said about to say the S-word but the angry look I gave him made him think otherwise. “Person…”
“That works for you.” I reminded him. “No favoritism or special treatment.”
“Fine then you screwed up this week and really pissed off Scrouge McDuck. You’re suspended for one day starting today!” Tony shouted
“Thank you Mr. Stark! It won’t happen again!” I shouted. “Was that so hard?”
“What’s happening?” Bruce asked confused.
“Hanna’s mad Tony gave her the day off.” Natasha filled in.
“She figured out it wasn't Saturday because of pizza night.” Clint said.
“She is small but mighty.” Thor said smiling as Hanna was still wrapped around his cape.
“Still hasn’t told her?” Bruce asked.
“Nope.” Clint said.
“I still don’t see what the big deal is. You were tired and you needed the day off but were too stubborn to ask for it…” Tony started.
“I didn’t need the day off. If I needed it I would have asked for it.” I said.
“You didn’t eat yesterday.” Tony said. “As your… person, it’s my job to take care of you.”
“No, it’s not.” I said. “I’m a grown up. I can look after myself.”
“I know but sometimes some extra help wouldn’t hurt.” Tony said.
“No.” I said.
“Just like that?” Tony said.
“No is a complete answer.” I said.
“Normally yes but… are we ever going to talk about… it?” Tony said.
“Tony.” Steve warned him.
“You’re my all my s-word and now I’m not color blind what else is there to say?” I said.
“It’s actually a bit more complicated…” Tony started.
“Which we can talk about later.” Natasha interrupted. “How about a movie?”
“Something with a lot of explosions.” Clint added.
“Okay you guys are being weird.” I said. “But a movie with a ton of explosions does sound nice.”
It was a good movie, thought it felt like everyone was watching me more than the screen for some reason. I was not the least bit tired after so I stayed up to play video games with Clint while Thor watched me. He had been doing that a lot lately. I was starting to get a bit worried.
Once everyone called it a night I went back to my room and looked for something to watch. I ended up watching some cheesy Hallmark meet cute. It was seemed to be a mashup up of the Princess Bride, Sleepless in Seattle with the whole soulmate trope and everything was pink.
As if the soulmate thing made the Earth flip on it’s axis and suddenly made everything better. And it wasn't as if not meeting one’s soulmate just meant they were doomed to become a reckless suicidal… miserable… uh…
Huh…
Some of these were starting to sound a bit familiar…
Too familiar…
But there was no way it meant anything.
So I can suddenly see all colors even though I spent my entire life not seeing any. Then there was that weird finger thing Tony did when we first met. That could have been a fluke… okay not a fluke but I hadn’t really felt anything since. Then again I hadn’t really been trying to feel anything. I’ve been too busy dying.
Though the first time, correction second time I died and was away for almost a year from what I could tell things got a bit dark for everyone.
Clint was a grumpy hermit, no tattoos yet as far as I could tell so that was probably a good sign he hadn’t fully gone Ronin.
Bruce… worked? Secluded himself from the world. He really needs to get out more. a Vitamin D deficiency is not fun.
Thor made it rain to the point of causing multiple floods.
Natasha, I’m still not entirely sure what she did last year. Anytime I ask Jarvis or her I get very vague non-answers.
Tony though had a full-on spiral. Somewhere between douchebag 2008 Tony and I’m dying from palladium poisoning Tony. I had seen the magazine articles and they painted a not so pretty picture of last year.
Then there was me. I mean I've always been a mess. It had been a longtime coming. I didn’t jump off that rooftop in LA because I hadn’t met my soulmates. That was a longtime coming for many many other reasons.
None of this was caused by the s-word thing. Yet for some reason everyone took it very seriously, like it meant something.
And that was the moment it hit me. I didn’t really know much about how the soulmate thing worked or what it really entailed.
So I did what every person in the age of the internet did when they needed answers.
I asked Google and that sent me way down the rabbit hole.
Soulmates were an unexplained phenomenon. There were many theories as to why people had a soulmate.
The most popular and well supported of them was that soulmates had the best set of compatible genes to have offspring mostly likely to survive. Not sure how accurate that was considering Steve used to be a 90-pound asthmatic, Bruce’s blood was toxic and Natasha and I could not procreate not just because the Red Room gave her a hysterectomy but we were both women.
I found a list of soulmates throughout history. In this world Shakespeare based Romeo and Juliet off a couple he met at court that were soulmates but whose parents were rivals and despised each other. Romeo’s father sent him away to the join the Queen’s army. Juliet caught the plague and died young. Romeo in his grief went crazy, came home from the war, and set fire to his family’s home with his parents in it. They found him days later hugging Juliet’s gravestone, dead from a poison he drank. Obviously, Shakespeare took some creative liberties with that story.
The world was a mess but if there was one thing everyone here agreed with was the importance of one’s soulmates. People had gone to war for them. Helen of Troy anyone?
Then I found the case studies and statistics.
Soulmates had a 0.1% divorce rate. That 0.1% was the margin of error.
The finger touch thing Tony did the first time we met… I couldn’t even get through the first 2 paragraphs of the medical journal article published in 1940’s Germany explaining that.
All research came to the exact same conclusion. Soulmates while unexplainable, unpredictable, and as improbably as they were, they were inevitable.
If they found each other one way or another they always ended up together.
I slammed the laptop shut.
Why did I have to go down that rabbit hole?
I’m not ready for that. For any of that… Oh crap were they expecting that?
What the hell did I walk into?
Crawling under a rock sounded really good right now. For obvious reasons I couldn’t do that so I did the next best thing. I rolled off the bed onto the floor and then under the bed.
It was a very childish coping mechanism but it worked just as well at 27 as it did when I was 7.
The first thing I had to do was calm down. Panicking was not going to solve anything.
Google gave me a great overview of what was out there on the soulmate front. That didn’t mean anything was set in stone. Anyone could put anything up on the internet, that didn’t mean it was true.
It was a starting point nothing else.
I could figure this out. Maybe I’d have more luck searching for answers on this than my attempt to recreate Eat Prey Love in New York.
By the time I called down and crawled out from under the bed it was morning. I was in no mood to face them after what I spent the night reading so I ran… not away but for a nice long run.
The one issue with that was that a certain super soldier was an early riser and never missed his morning run.
I used to think it was funny when he did it to Sam in the movie but when I needed a morning alone and he just kept running laps around me
“On your left.” Steve said with a smug grin as he kept running.
“Nope, not today.” I said to myself once he was out of earshot.
I cut my run short and went to go rent a row boat but we were in the middle of winter and the lake was still thawing so I went to the next best thing.
The most gentrified hipster, most overpriced bistro that did a great brunch.
It was the type of place where the waitress greeted you with a namaste and once you got to the table she tried to not just feed your body but your soul and mind by giving you the question of the day.
Today’s Question:
“How does your soulmate complete you?” She said.
“What?” I said not expecting that.
“Sorry I probably read your aura wrong. I’d thought you’d already… We’re having soulmate related questions of the day leading up to Valentine’s day. Would you like another question?” She asked.
“No.” I said not bothering to hide my annoyance.
“I’ll give you a minute.” She said scurrying away.
I took a look at the menu trying to see if they had any alcohol friendly drinks on the menu.
“This is a nice place.” Steve said taking a seat across from me.
“You’re supposed to be annoying the joggers of New York.” I said.
“I was but I didn’t pass by you on the next lap and got worried.” Steve said. “Got tired?”
“Hungry but I think this place is a miss so I’m just grabbing a coffee to go.” I said.
“It can’t be that bad. Wild berry goat cheese pancakes. What was wrong with regular pancakes?” Steve said.
“Here is your water I’m so sorry about before I just… Whoa…” She said looking back and forth between us.
“Yeah on second thought I’ll just have an orange cardamom latte with an extra shot to go.” I said.
“Uh miss?” Steve said a bit weirded out at the way she kept staring at him.
“I’m sorry but it’s just… I’ve never seen aura come together and make colors like the ones you two are making right now.” She said.
“Nix the coffee, I’m leaving.” I said all but running out of there.
“But we just…” Steve said. “I’m sorry.”
With that he followed after me.
“Hanna wait up.” Steve said.
I didn’t wait and I didn’t even acknowledge Steve the entire walk back to the tower.
“That place was a bit off but there’s a diner just a block that way…” Steve suggested.
“I’m sure you’ll enjoy that.” I said.
“Great” Steve said trying to go left but I just kept going straight. “It’s actually this way.”
“I’m not going.” I said walking the rest of the way back to the tower with Steve walking five steps behind me. I usually took the garage elevator up but to avoid Steve I went in through the lobby which he and everyone else avoided like the plague.
I didn’t get my workout in, I didn’t get my coffee… Maybe I should have stayed under the bed.
It was still early and Steve was probably in the shower or working on breakfast. The gym was probably open so I redirected the elevator to the right floor.
There was no Steve but Natasha and Clint were sparring.
One day without a workout won’t kill me. One morning without coffee though... that can’t happen. If I was quick I could get in there without running into anyone. Bruce was probably in the lab and Tony either about to crash or still in the lab.
That only left Thor as a wild card.
I still couldn’t pinpoint his morning routine. He was never the first one up but if everyone else was up he was up. He would workout with Steve or Natasha if they asked him to spar with them. If they didn’t he would sneak in a pop tart before hitting the gym to lift weights and try boxing. He didn’t really like punching sandbags.
The elevator doors open and the coast was clear. I quickly started the coffee maker but we were out of coffee grounds. Luckily we just had gotten our weekly delivery from whatever high end service Tony ordered them from. I poured in enough beans for a nice big cup and started the grinder.
It reminded me of my barista days… except there wasn't a line out of impatient and annoyed customers glaring at me as if that would make me go faster.
The grounds were ready and the machine started brewing.
Did this thing always take this long?
Finally the glorious dark brew started dripping into my mug and filling up.
“Coffee…” I whispered.
Once the dripping stopped and my mug was full I slowly picked it up and took a whiff of that glorious delicious cup of daily motivation. All my trouble didn’t matter in that moment. It was just me and my coffee.
Of course it was only a moment and moments end… abruptly.
I was about to take a sip…
“Good morning my Lady Hanna!” Thor shouted from behind me making me jump and spill my coffee all over myself.
“Ah!” I shrieked.
“Oh no!” Thor said quickly going for some paper napkins.
“That was my coffee.” I said.
“I am so sorry!!” Thor said running to try and clean the floor and to help me dry off only for him to slip on the coffee and knock me down in the process.
“Aw.. coffee no!” I whined.
“Hanna are you alright?” Thor said quickly picking me up and putting me back on my feet.
“I… I’m calling it.” Dumping my mug in the sink before walking to the elevator.
“Love are you…” Thor started.
“Ah!” I said raising a hand to signal for him to please shut up. “No… we’re not… Nuh-Uh.”
“Hanna?” Thor said.
“Stay.” I said sternly.
“But you’re…” He started.
“Stay!” I said getting in the elevator and pressing the elevator to close the doors.
Once I was back in my room I slipped off my clothes, got back into my pjs and got back under the bed. Why did I ever come out of here this morning? I should just stay here.
I was there for a while still mourning the perfect cup of coffee I never got to drink.
It was a while later that I heard the ding of the elevator doors open and footsteps walking up to the bedroom door.
Someone knocked twice.
“Hanna?” Clint called out.
“Why?” I groaned pulling a pillow over my head.
“Don’t throw anything at me, I’m coming in.” He said. The door cracked open and he didn’t move for a minute probably trying to make sure I didn’t throw a shoe at him or something. Once Clint made sure he would be safe he opened the door the rest of the way and came into the room. “Hanna?”
“Go away.” I said still not coming out from under the bed.
“Can’t do that. Thor said you were hurt.” Clint said.
“I’m fine.” I said.
“Sure you are.” Clint said walking to the ensuite bathroom to see if I was in there. “I’m not going to make you go down to see Bruce but If I don’t come back with proof of life Nat is going to come in here and drag you out.”
“Seriously?” I said.
Clint was quiet before I saw the bed skirt get lifted up and he looked under the bed to see me there.
“What are you doing under there?” Clint asked.
“It’s comfy.” I said.
“I’m pretty sure the mattress if just as comfortable. Maybe even more.” Clint said as if that would convince me to come out. He waited a minute before sighing. “Move over.”
“You don’t have to do that.” I said.
“Are you coming out?” Clint said.
“No.” I said.
“Then I have to.” He said getting on the ground and crawling under the bed next to me. “Hi.”
“Hi.” I said.
“You okay?” Clint asked.
“I spilled my perfect cup of coffee.” I said.
“I heard.” He said gently dragging over a to go cup from a shop down the street. “Dirty Matcha latte with oatmilk and an extra shot.”
“Is this a bribe?” I said tempted to take the cup but not sure this gift didn’t come with conditions.
“Would it get you to come out and maybe upstairs for breakfast?” Clint said.
“No but nice try.” I said taking a sip.
“It was worth a try.” Clint said shifting uncomfortably. “Want to talk about it?”
“What makes you think there’s something to talk about?” I asked.
“You’re hiding under your bed.” Clint deadpanned.
“I wanted to crawl under a rock, this was a happy medium.” I answered.
“You’re having a day?” Clint asked cautiously.
“I don’t want to jump off the roof, if that’s what you’re asking.” I said making Clint give me a concerned look. “But yeah I’m having a day.”
“Anything I can do to help?” He asked.
“I just want to be alone.” I said.
“Yeah… I don’t think that’s going to work.” Clint said.
“There’s 93 floors in this building I just want one corner to be alone in. Is that really too much to ask for?” I said.
“Kinda.” Clint said.
“Ugh!” I groaned.
“What did you expect you’re our…” He started.
“No.” I said.
“What?” Clint said.
“No, that cannot be the excuse for everything.” I said.
“You’re our soulmate and you’re… having a day. It’s our job to fix whatever is making you have a day. That’s how it works.” Clint said.
“And you’re just okay with that?” I said.
“Why wouldn’t I be?” Clint said sounding confused and looking at me as if I had gone crazy. Of course me hiding under the $15,000 orthopedic memory foam mattress was probably not helping.
“You don’t think that it’s totally insane that just because for some unexplained reason I made it possible for you to see one color that I’m suddenly your end all be all and that there’s no other option, I’m it? That doesn’t bother you at all?” I said.
“No. Maybe Tony came on a bit strong…” He said rubbing the back of his neck.
“So he and the internet were totally making things up and soulmates don’t always end up together?” I said.
“No… that parts pretty spot on.” Clint said.
“Are you fucking kidding me?” I said.
“Is it really such a bad thing?” Clint asked.
“No Clint. It’s me, I’m the problem not the backwards idea that probably the biggest choice a person has in life has already been decided and I’m just expected to be okay with that?” I said sarcastically.
“Did you read the part where the universe is never wrong?” Clint said.
“I was in another universe. Obviously it screws up sometimes.” I said.
“It’s not that big a deal…” he said.
It doesn’t matter what universe you happened to be in, there are certain things that transcend the limits and boundaries of universes, borders of countries and understanding of languages. A man telling a woman that what they’re feeling is not a big deal will piss them off every time no matter what. I was no exception to that.
“Get out.” I said glaring at him.
“Hanna I’m just trying to understand...” Clint said.
“You don’t and you won’t understand and neither will they because you all keep giving me that look. That dopey unconditional lovestruck look and you keep expecting me to just return that some day when you probably can’t even tell if what you’re feeling is actually what you feel or some genetically predisposed instinct making you feel that way.” I said.
“Does it really matter?” He asked.
“Get out.” I repeated.
“Are you coming out?” Clint asked.
“What do you think?” I said rolling over so my back was turned to him.
“Fine, but I’m confiscating your coffee.” Clint said reaching for it.
“Fine. Just let me get one last sip.” I said chugging the rest in one go.
“Nice.” He said taking the empty cup as he crawled out from under the bed. Clint sighed before walking out and closing the bedroom door behind him.
Third Person’s POV
Clint walked back to the elevator where everyone was still waiting for him.
“Well?” Natasha asked.
“What’s the verdict?” Bruce asked.
“Tony screwed up.” Clint handing the billionaire the empty to go cup.
“It’s always Stark.” Thor groaned.
“I was just being honest.” Tony said.
“I told you it was too soon to bring it up.” Steve said.
“You’ve been saying that since we met her. Honesty is important so I was honest. What’s so wrong with that?” Tony said.
“The fact that she’s now avoiding us.” Natasha deadpanned.
“And won’t come out from under her bed.” Clint said.
“She’s under her bed? Like under it?” Tony asked looking at the greenish brown drippings on the to go cup that did not look the least bit appetizing to him.
“Yeah.” Clint said.
“Should one of us try talking to her?” Steve asked.
“Maybe she needs some space.” Bruce said.
“Or some time to cool off?” Natasha suggested.
“Under the bed?” Tony asked again. “Like she’s under there right now.”
“Let’s give her some space.” Steve said. “She’ll have to come out eventually.”
About an Hour Later…
I had to come out of the bed to use the bathroom and by then I was bored and my back couldn’t take more time on the floor.
I was in a really hard place both literally and figuratively.
There was no doubt in my mind that the second I opened that door and stepped out one of them would be right there waiting for me.
So as if I hadn’t tortured myself enough the night before I decided to pick up where I left off on the soulmate research.
The second time did not go any better than the first.
There was a reason I didn’t date in my world. Mostly because I didn’t have time and also the instant I brought up raising my nephew most guys ran the second the check was paid. There may also be the fact that I never met anyone that check all the boxes so to speak… and now I have 6 soulmates so maybe the universe had some sort of sick twisted sense of humor.
“Ugh…” I groaned pushing the laptop aside.
I tried turning on the TV to find something but it was like the only thing the world wanted to talk about were about freaking soulmates or my six housemates.
I never thought I’d start to miss my crappy world…
I couldn’t wrap my head and figure this mess out. Maybe because I was too close to it all.
And maybe that was the answer. I needed space.
So I grabbed a leather duffle bag someone had left in my closet and started packing a bag. I didn’t know how long I was going to need so I packed as much as I could carry and even a couple of extra things like my tablet, earpods, and even the Asgardian book of legends and fables Thor had gifted me for Christmas. It was a surprisingly good read.
The next order of business was finding where I was going to stay while I figured things out. A hotel would be a nice treat but without reservations and With New York prices it was going to be pricey. Tony paid well but I was not willing to pay out $400 to $500 a night for an undetermined amount of time.
Luckily for me AirBNB was just starting to take off in the early 2010’s and would not be banned in New York for another 10 or so years. There was a nice apartment on Park Avenue that was open for the next month starting tomorrow.
“Jarvis?” I called out.
“Do you need assistance Miss?” Jarvis said.
“I need to get out of here without anyone knowing.” I said.
“Sir has asked to be alerted as soon as you are out of hiding.” Jarvis said.
“Jarvis I know where you’re servers are and as amazing as you are I can live without you and I can and will ‘accidentally’ spill on them.” I said.
“I am sure you are aware that sir has many backups saved in various servers around the world.” Jarvis said.
“I’ve read all of your protocols. I’m not a danger to myself or others, I just need some space.” I said.
“Will being in the presence of sir or any other residents of this tower make you feel unsafe miss?” Jarvis said.
“No, they’re just… a lot and they expect… a lot. I have never been good at dealing with people expecting things of me.” I said.
“Miss would either your physical and mental well-being be affected.” Jarvis elaborated.
“OH.” I said realizing what he was getting at. There was a bylaw written into Jarvis’ programming that whatever was needed to ensure the well-being of any of the residents of the tower and their safety if was Jarvis’s job to assist in whatever capacity he could to deescalate the situation before alerting someone. It would easily give me a 30 to 45 minute head start. “Jarvis when you finally get your own body I’m going to give you the biggest hug ever. Yes my mental and emotional health is being affected.”
“Understood miss if you would like to go out for some fresh air I could guide you out of the tower so you may go undetected.” Jarvis said.
“That would be much appreciated buddy.” I said grabbing my things before remembering I still had the bracelet on. “Tony’s going to want to tack this.”
“He will only be able to access the status of your biometric readings miss.” Jarvis said.
“Alright then.” I said walking out of the room.
Jarvis’s way out ended up being to take the service stairway down 2 levels, then the service elevator the rest of the way and taking an exit out via the shipping department.
From there I took a cab to the Palace hotel. The AirBNB wouldn’t be ready for me until tomorrow and I figured I could treat myself for one night.
I walked into the Palace Hotel and went straight to the registration desk.
“Hi, checking in.” I said. “Reservation under Rebecca Rushman.”
“One moment.” The concierge said typing in the computer. “Looks like you’ve been upgraded to a cathedral view room.”
“That’s nice.” I said. “Thank you.”
“Alright I have you on the 10th floor, room 1013. The elevators will be up those stairs to the left.” She said handing me a receipt and my credit card to sign. “We have Sunday brunch tomorrow from 9am to 1pm. Would you like me to reserve a table for you and your party?”
“It’s just me, and yes please. A 9 or 9:30 would be great.” I said.
“Alright then.” She said before handing me a key card. “Enjoy your stay.”
“Thank you.” I said taking the keycard before heading up.
Meanwhile…
It was an hour after Hanna had made her escape that Jarvis’ protocols finally allowed him to let everyone know she had left.
“Sir, Miss Marin has come out of her room.” Jarvis said.
“Great, where is she?” Tony asked. “Did Romanoff beat me to it?”
“No sir, Miss Marin is no longer on the premises.” Jarvis asked.
“What?” Bruce said.
“She’s gone? Why didn’t you say anything?” Toy said running out of the lab.
It was 20 minutes later that they finally regrouped.
“Clint what did she say when you talked to her?” Steve asked.
“She was freaking out about being soulmates again.” Clint said.
“Does she not like us?” Thor asked confused.
“We told you it was too soon.” Natasha said.
“It’s been more than a year.” Tony said. “How did she even get out without us being notified?”
“She’s always been able to sneak out.” Natasha said.
“I shall go look for her. She couldn’t have gotten far.” Thor said reaching out for Mjolnir.
“I’ve got a better idea.” Tony said. “Jarvis let’s start tracking the signal of Hanna’s bracelet.
“Tony you promised Hanna you wouldn’t do that.” Bruce said.
“That was before she ran away.” Tony said.
“She just wanted some space.” Clint said. “She’ll come back.”
“Damnit Jarvis why isn’t the location coming up?” Tony barked out before throwing his tablet aside.
“Protocol dictates that I not present Miss Marin’s present location to you at the moment for her safety.” Jarvis said.
“Her safety?” Steve said. “Is she endanger?”
“Jarvis where is she?” Tony asked again.
Thirty Minutes Later….
I was settled into my room in a fluffy bathrobe, with a face mask on as I ate Cheetos and watched the Real Housewives of New Jersey duke it out yet again.
Why didn’t I do this before?
Then my phone started ringing.
Right, that’s why. I was going to let it go to voicemail but it was Bruce and he rarely calls unless it’s something important. Maybe it was a Hydra update from Fury.
“Hello?” I answered.
“Hey, how are you?” Bruce asked.
“Ok? How are you?” I said. This was painfully awkward.
“I’m okay.” Bruce asked.
‘Ask her where she is?’ I heard Tony asked him.
“Hanna are you out running errands?” Bruce said trying to be subtle.
“Is the tower on fire?” I asked.
“Uh no why would it be…” Bruce started.
“Has there been an update on Hydra?” I asked.
“Not that I’m aware of?” Bruce said more as a question than an answer. I could picture him probably looking at Natasha and Clint to confirm.
“Then I’m not going to answer that. I’ll see you Monday.” I said.
“Hanna wait!” I heard Tony before I hung up.
The space was working. I was calm and not at all freaking out about the supposed inevitability of… no not going there. This was me time. I needed to focus on me and putting myself in order before I faced the situation I was in.
For now some trashy reality TV would do because there was no way these women were with their soulmates. These were not functional relationship.
Then again had I ever actually seen a healthy functional relationship.
Had they seen one?
Natasha was an orphaned and her ‘adopted’ family besides Yelena had some questionable parenting techniques.
Clint’s parents in the comics were not the best, hence why he ran away and joined the circus.
Bruce’s dad was abusive and his mother wasn't really around.
Steve was orphaned really young and his dad either died young or was a wife beater.
Tony obviously has some unresolved issues with his dad.
And Thor… he was the golden child. Frigga was a freaking Angel, and the glue that held that family together as long as she did. Odin though was not the best father. Hela was a warmonger that he banished to… hell. Loki was the neglected adopted son. And Thor…. Actually no Thor came out all right. There were a few bumps along the way but he was actually great.
That actually reminded me I need to apologize to him. I’m pretty sure I freaked him out earlier and may have been a bit harsh.
Once the real housewives had thrown their third drink onto someone’s face, I turned away from the TV and did some light reading.
I couldn’t read any of the classics considering that I now knew they were all those stories were influenced by the hysteria this universe had with soulmates.
Speaking of, they were probably freaking out right now.
No, nope, not today. Not right now. I could not do damage control until I was more or less put together.
I’m doing some self care. I’m pampering myself on the outside and now I’m going to work on insides.
I started by going through my journals to read everything I had been through over the past year and a half. Elaine had recommended the exercise when I first started therapy. At the time I thought it was a load of crap but as things started happening and I kept falling into new universes it helped me keep track of where I had been and the differences between this world and the movies I had seen.
I added annotations as I used to when I was in therapy. It was like having a conversation with myself.
The first couple of pages were pretty pointless.
This sucks.
This is stupid.
How much is Tony paying this quack?
Could I sneak out the restroom window?
This is pointless.
This is a waste of time.
Why didn’t I just stay dead?
Shit that was dark. I really did need therapy.
By the third page I was finally getting some good notes.
I’m a lost cause. Captain America said so, so I guess that makes it true. Not that its much of a surprise. It’s not anything that I hadn’t heard my whole life. It was my dad’s favorite excuse to ignore me.
Ugh… now that’s someone I hadn’t thought about in a while and it was better off that way. If I was going to open that can of worms I was going to need tequila. I popped open the mini fridge and grabbed a few tiny bottles of tequila before I continued reading.
Brunch is kind of an ironic concept when you think about it.
I was getting philosophical about really mundane things. This might be around the time I stopped taking the pills.
It’s ironic in the sense that it is this incredibly simple idea of having breakfast all day or in the afternoon got turned into this huge overpriced trend. In college and post college I used to live off cereal because it was the cheapest thing that would fill me up and get me through the day.
Why is brunch so overpriced? Did I really want that morning reservation now?
I still don’t see the point of therapy. Elaine and Tony still think they can fix me but they’ll give up eventually.
Yeah, Tony Stark is probably the only person in the multiverse that is as stubborn as I am.
Therapy sucks but Brunch is nice… even if I don’t get to have any bottomless mimosas. It’s the highlight of my week and for a second I could have sworn Tony almost got me to laugh.
He can never know.
He can never know, but damn that was a really good brunch spot. That cornflake French toast was amazing.
A couple of entries later..
Tony may or may not be into me. And so is Clint… and possibly Natasha.
“Oh boy.” I said taking another shot.
So obviously this has been going on for a while but life and death kept me busy. Okay Tony I get that there may possibly be something on his side. We spend a lot of time together everything after that was probably the soulmate thing…
Uh… that felt weird read out loud.
So a thing happened…
That’s what we’re calling it.
It was kind of weird. In the sense that if it had happened to me with anyone else the ending would have been different. I mean there’s no way Tony was actually trying to kiss me. We were friends that went to brunch and therapy together.
And yeah it was a good day. A really good day. The best day I’d had in a really long time. We were just goofing off, riding rollercoasters, driving down the Pacific Coast Highway singing along really off key to the radio, before grabbing burgers and having a picnic with a great view. Who would want to kiss me when I have burger breath?
It’s not like any of it was real. It was just…It’s was just the stupid soulmate thing.
Fuck when did I crying? There’s no reason for me to cry. Soulmates aren’t a real thing in my world. They’re not real and everything that’s happened since was just them thinking they had to be with me. Some biological fluke. None of it was real.
And now I was crying, and half the songs on my sad songs playlist wouldn’t be released for another 5 to 8 years.
“Fuck!” I said crying on the floor of my hotel room.
I was no stranger to rejection but this one hurt.
The Following Morning…
I paid an obscene amount of money for a room in a 5-Star hotel only to spend the night on the floor and to get woken up in time for Sunday brunch. Why did I have to ask for the earliest reservation available.
I dragged my sorry ass off the floor, took a quick shower to wake up and got dressed. I had packed some basic wardrobe staples before I left and lucky for me there was something that made me look put together enough for brunch. I started with a mock neck black knit top paired with a flower print midi skirt and knee high leather heeled boots. Over that I had a tan coat I draped over my shoulders. My hair was a mess but I managed to make it look like I had purposely meant for it to look this shaggy. It helped that my hair was starting to grow out.
Even though it was early the lobby was very busy with people checking in or just coming in for brunch after mass across the street.
My waiter hid me away in a booth at the back of the dining room. I had forgotten that brunch was more of a family couple thing not, a lonely woman having yet another existential crisis kind of thing.
I did have to admit it was a good place to people watch and the hats people wore to church. Some were so big I couldn’t tell if it was a hat or an umbrella. I’m sure the food was really good, I just didn’t have much of an appetite.
That didn’t mean I couldn’t drink some hair of the dog to make me feel slightly less hungover and a mimosa did just that.
My nausea was gone and I got in a few bites of bacon until I saw something that made my stomach flip.
“Lillian can’t you hold him.” A very familiar and annoyed voice said.
“Not in this dress.” A sneer that may as well have been nails being dragged on a chalkboard rang in my ears from the table next to mine.
What are the odds that out of any hotel in New York I’d run into this universe’s version of my crappy parents that are supposed to be across the country living their perfect lives?
The universe really hated me.
“Fuck me.” I cursed.
“James no!” Greyson said slapping something out of Jamie’s hand so he wouldn’t eat it.
“Wahhh!!!” The kid started crying.
“What did you do?” Lillian said.
“It’s not my fault the kids doesn’t know any better.” Greyson said putting him down in a chair. “Stay!”
“He’s a baby not a dog Greyson.” Lillian retorted.
“That’s a shame a dog would actually listen.” Greyson hissed starting another bickering match.
I felt chills run down my spine as I listened to them. The worst case of déjà vu ever. I didn’t even realize when I started picking at my nails anxiously.
“Ma!” A little voice said someone put a strawberry on my hand.
“Oh…” I said looking down at the smiling toddler. “Thank you.”
“Hehe.” Jamie giggled before reaching up asking to be picked up. I looked over and Lillian and Greyson were too busy bickering to notice that the baby had slipped away from them.
“Sneaky little guy aren’t you?” I said picking him up and placing him on my lap. I grabbed a napkin and wiped his face as he started digging into my waffle.
The kid did always like his waffles.
Lillian and Greyson were still arguing so I let him eat his breakfast in peace. He practically inhaled the waffle and once he was done. I gently wiped his sticky hands and his face.
“Isn’t that better?” I cooed. “Want another strawberry?”
“Da one?” He asked pointing at a chocolate covered strawberry.
With all that sugar he was going to be so hyper later. Good thing that wasn't my problem.
“Okay.” I said handing it to him and kissing the top of his head before picking him up and walking him back to his bickering negligent grandparents.
“If that good for nothing son of yours actually did something for once in his life…” Greyson started.
“Excuse me?” I said interrupting.
“We’re fine.” Lillian said trying to shoo me away.
“Actually I think you lost someone.” I said finally getting them to look at me holding Jamie who was happily leaning against me as he ate his strawberry.
“Oh my god!” Lillian said getting up and taking Jamie from me.
“James!” Greyson said about to yell at the kid.
“He’s such a sweet kid and so well behaved.” I said.
“Thank you.” Greyson said calming down but internally raging before pulling out his wallet and handing me a one hundred dollar bill.
“Oh that’s not..” he didn’t let me finish before putting it in my hand and waving me off both continuing on with their brunch.
Ironically in another universe he was a stingy jerk that took me to the discount dentist because he didn’t see a point in spending money for anesthetic. This idiot handed me a hundred bucks for giving him back the grandson he didn’t want to take care of.
“Bye.” Jamie waved.
“Bye.” I whispered as I waved back.
A part of me wanted to take that kid and take him as far away from those idiots as I could but that’s not my kid. My kid did get away from them and is safe with his dad. That’s what I told myself as I walked away tipping my waiter that crisp one-hundred-dollar bill because I just needed to get rid of it.
I was walking back to my hotel room to grab my things when my phone started ringing. There were over 30 missed calls from all of them and now there were 31.
Right now there were things to be done. Starting with checking out and picking up the keys to my AirBNB and maybe doing a grocery run.
Check out was smooth since I didn’t dispute the charges for the overpriced minibar though the minibar I ingested almost reappeared when I saw how much they were charging for it.
I hailed a cab and made my way down a few blocks down town to Park Avenue. I thought this listing was too good to be true when I saw it, especially for the price. I forgot what reasonable rent prices were before lofts became trendy and people discovered how they could rent their extra homes on AirBNB for an arm and a leg.
The loft was actually owned by a rich couple who had bought the place for their son to live in while he was at school. He had just graduated and moved away and they deciding what to do with the loft so they had opted to rent it out on a trial basis.
I got the top floor loft for a steal. The exposed brick and the arched windows gave the place a bit of a rustic charm. To me it reminded me of home.
My apartment at the tower was great but it was a bit too perfect. It didn’t have any character or personality. Not that I would ever tell Tony that. The last thing we needed was another remodel.
Once I retrieved the key I went up to the loft and saw that it did indeed match the photos I had seen. It was the perfect place to hide out. Of course five minutes later I locked up and headed out to run errands. I needed groceries and some linens to hold me over until I figured out where to go from here.
While my hangover started to wear off and I had some space to think I now realized that I may have been a bit harsh with Thor. The guy was essentially an Asgardian golden retriever puppy. An overgrown golden retriever puppy that adored me for some reason and I ‘kicked’ with my words.
And now I felt guilty.
I needed to make amends and there was no better way to do that than with some baked goodies. I finally had a kitchen to myself and it had been a while since I baked. I shopped around to get everything I needed. I was going to make cookies or a pie but this was for Thor.
So I spent the rest of the day making poptarts from scratch. They actually turned out pretty good.
It was a quiet day in and probably the closest thing to a normal day I’ve had since I fell into this universe. I had almost forgotten what normal was.
The Following Morning…
This apartment got tons of natural light. It was perfect even if it was a gloomy day.
I looked through my bag and pulled out a black long sleeved knit ribbed top and a gray and black polka dotted pencil skirt.
I was going to have to grab more clothes after work. Unless I wanted to do laundry every few days.
I was still not a fan of the subway but I did have to admit public transportation in New York was a lot better than in LA. It was only 20 minutes from the loft to the Tower.
I walked in and swiped my badge before heading up to the common room.
“Morning…” I said going straight for the coffee. “Whoa!”
The common room was a mess. There were bottles and glasses thrown about.
“Jarvis what the hell happened here?” I asked.
“I believe sir and the rest of the residents had a small get together last night.” Jarvis answered.
“Small? This place looks like a frat house after Freshman rush.” I said hearing a very loud snore. I looked around to find Steve passed out on the couch. I took my coffee and placed it on the coffee table in front of him.
“Jarvis I want roll call were is everyone right now?” I asked.
“Sir and Dr. Banner are in the lab. Dr. Banner did not partake and he is currently administrating B-12 cocktails to Agents Romanoff and Barton in medical.” Jarvis answered.
“Steve is obviously passed out on the couch. Where’s Thor?” I asked.
“Good Morrow my friends!” Thor flew in from the balcony not looking at all hungover or thrown off by the mess in the common room. “My Lady!”
“Thor wha…” I started before he picked me up in a bear hug.
“You have returned!” He said rocking me from side to side.
“Thor down!” I urged.
“We were worried and…” Thor said.
“I need space.” I said cutting him off. “Obviously you guys took it well. So, while I have you, I made you these.”
I passed him the Tupperware containing the poptarts.
“I was a bit harsh with you before I left. I was frustrated and working through something and I took it out on you. I shouldn’t have and I’m sorry.” I said.
“There is no need Hanna, I am not well versed in Midgardian courting and I apologize if I have overstepped and taken liberties I shouldn’t have.” Thor said taking my hand as he gave me a heartfelt apology.
“I’m not used to courting either. In any universe and we’re not really like that.” I said.
“Like what?” Thor looked confused.
“I have some things to do… somewhere. Enjoy the poptarts.” I said making a run for the elevator. “They’re homemade!”
“You can make tarts of pop?” Thor called out after me as the doors closed.
“Lab.” I said to Jarvis.
The lab was eerily quiet. No music or drills or machinery.
“I swear you better not be creating skynet in here.” I called out before grabbing my tablet.
“Hanna?” Tony said popping up.
“Rough night?” I asked.
“You’re back.” He said.
“I work here.” I reminded him. “You have an 11 o’clock with finance to discuss Q4 projections. The foundation gala committee is meeting at 12:30 for lunch and you promised Pepper to be there to lock in a few commitments…”
“Are we not going to talk about it?” Tony asked.
“This is work.” I said.
“You disappeared.” He said.
“I didn’t disappear, I moved out.” I said.
“You moved out?” Clint said dragging an IV line with him.
“You can’t move out.” Tony said.
“Last I checked it was a free country.” I said.
“Where would you even go?” Tony said.
“New York is pretty big.” I said. “Lots of options. You might want to clean up. Not a good look if people think you’re going through another midlife crisis.”
“Hanna you can’t move out. It’s not safe.” Natasha popped in.
“Tony got his house blown up, you guys get shot at pretty often and… for some reason Steve is passed out in the common room. Not sure what happened to the super part of super soldier.” I said. “I’ll be as safe wherever I am as I am here. Besides if I die it’s not like I’ll stay dead.”
“That’s not… No you are not moving out.” Tony said.
“Too late.” I said. “11 o’clock don’t be late. Bruce your new spectrometer is being delivered at 2. You want it right where the old one was?”
“Yeah…” Bruce said sheepishly.
“Are we not going to talk about this?” Tony asked.
“Nope.” I said going back to my desk.
“Where are you even moving to?” Natasha asked. “Is the building safe? Who are your neighbors?”
“Why would you even want to move out? We have everything here. We have Starbucks? Do you like coffee bean better? I can kick Starbucks out.” Tony said.
“You are not kicking Starbucks out, I’m moving out, it’s done, back to work and can one of you wake up Steve or at least move him to his room so the cleaning crew and fix the common room?” I said.
“I got him.” Bruce said taking the spare IV line.
“Is this about what Tony did?” Natasha said.
“I just brought up what we were all thinking…” Tony said.
“And we all thought it was too soon to bring it up.” Natasha started before they started bickering.
“I’m going to go pick up your dry cleaning and breakfast. Try to sober up.” I said getting up. The dry cleaners was just down the street but because it was a Monday the pick up line was extra long and to make matters worse they were backed up.
While I waited I decided to go to the coffee shop close by for an extra dose of caffeine. A coffee shop was the perfect place to people watch. But I wasn't in a people watching mood. Instead I started reading. I had scanned a few pages of the Asgardian story book onto my phone so I could read without carrying the book around.
I was reading up on Thor’s family History, well more like his father’s history. Apparently Odin’s parents Bor and Bestla originated from two very separate clans. Bestla came from the realm of witches and sages while Bor was your typical meathead Viking. That’s actually how he was described in the book. It was pretty obvious which of the two side wrote the book.
The two clans brought nothing but death and destruction whenever they encountered each other. To end the fighting Bor and Bestla were betrothed to one another but the betrothal would not solve anything unless their union was not just a political one but that could show the nine realms that if they put their differences aside peace would actually be a true possibility. So the faes and the witches conspired to make certain that it would work, they combined their magic to create a perfect convergence of souls, aka soulmates. What they didn’t realize was that by combining the magic of citizens from all nine realms the spell would not be isolated to just Bestla and Bor but to all inhabitants of the nine realms. That is how the two brought peace to the nine realms for the first time. Until Odin took over and war broke out again.
If only I could talk to those witches or someone that knew them but they’re all on Asgard. Except for Thor…
The rest of Asgard won’t come to early until after the blip which isn’t for another four years. Frigga could help but she’s dead… wait. She’s not dead. I warned Thor and he saved her.
It’s 2014.
The Dark elves crashed their ship in Greenwich in November of 2013.
Loki died… but not really and he was posing as Odin until….
“Odin’s on Earth!” I shouted in realization.