Chapter 41
“Odin’s on Earth!” I shouted making everyone in the coffee shop look at me like I’d gone crazy. Maybe I had. How the hell could I forget that one of the most powerful beings that currently existed in the nine realms was on Earth.
Stuck in a retirement home somewhere in New York.
I had really dropped the ball on this one. I pulled my phone out and started looking up retirement homes in New York.
“Jarvis, nag Tony to get to all of his meetings and make sure no tries to follow me.” I said.
“Are you in need of assistance Miss?” Jarvis asked.
“Not at the moment I just need to handle something. And let’s keep it between us. Well between us, you need to erase everything I said after asking you to nag Tony for me.” I said. “I think I need to handle this one solo.”
“Of course Miss.” Jarvis said.
“Tony isn’t trying to override you for my location yet is he?” I asked.
“I believe Dr. Banner talked him out of it Miss.” Jarvis said. “For now.”
“Obviously.” I said closing my eyes and concentrating.
Thor Ragnarok… The nursing home Loki put Odin in was torn down. It was a brick building and the name on the plaque thrown in the rubble was… Shady Acres Care Home.
How many Shady Acres could there be in New York?
One google search later and… a lot apparently. Ten in just the four boroughs.
Alright let’s start with the ones in a brick building.
That got me down to 9. You’ve got to love New York.
Alright, when Thor and Loki discover the nursing home was torn down, Loki was taken to the New York Sanctum by Dr. Strange. Meaning that the nursing home had to be within walking distance or at the very least a few subway stops away from the Sanctum.
177A Bleeker Street was in Greenwich Village… Lower West Side Manhattan.
“That’s three.” I said narrowing it down. “I can work with three.”
I entered all three addresses into my phone and started mapping out my route.
It was half past eleven. It’d take me 30 minutes to get to the first stop on the list, not to mention figuring out a way to get in and look for Odin. I don’t think Loki checked his dad in under the name Odin the All Father, King of Asgard and Protector of the Nine Realms.
Or maybe he did and just put a spell on the entire staff, in which case I had bigger things to worry about.
One step at a time.
Shady Acres #1
I was standing outside of the nursing Home when my phone rang.
“Ye-llo” I answered.
“Jarvis said you’re taking the rest of the day off.” Tony said.
“That would be correct.” I said.
“Are you sick?” Tony asked.
“No, something came up.” I said. That wasn't a complete lie.
“We still need to talk about…” Tony started.
“Going through a tunnel… can’t keeeeee.” I said before hanging up the call. Serves him right. He does that to everyone else all the time when he wants to end a conversation.
There’s only one person that would know what to do in a situation like this.
What would Natasha Romanoff do?
Natasha would, keep her head up high, confident, assured. If you act like you belong no one will ask if you belong.
I was fully prepared to give some fake story of stopping by to visit my great Aunt Esther or something. But the receptionist cut me off before I could even say anything.
“12:30 tour?” She said.
“uh… yeah. I’m…” I started.
“Sarah Grant. I’m Judy.” She said still typing something on her computer. “Go ahead and take a look around. All the residents are in the common room for shuffleboard and lunch.”
“And that would be?” I asked and she pointed down the hall. “Right…”
That was easier than expected. A bit concerning that there was no security. I looked around and besides a lot of elderly people hooking up when everyone thought they were playing shuffleboard, there was nothing interesting here.
I was on my way to Shady Acres #2 when I got an alert from Jarvis that there was a code green at the tower.
“Code green? Are we sure?” I asked Jarvis and the only response I got from Jarvis was very loud growl from the Hulk. “Shit, how bad?”
“The hulk is currently contained for the moment.” Jarvis answered.
“So it’s handled. Great.” I said about to walk to the subway except… we had a code green. The hulk was contained. The team had it handled and there really wasn't anything I could do. I had never met the hulk but I knew he wasn't bad. Misunderstood maybe?
Bruce would want me as far away from him as possible right now.
But for some very stupid illogical reason I couldn’t explain I turned around and went back up town to the tower.
I didn’t know what to expect after a code green. From the movies I know that Bruce would wake up a bit disoriented and not feeling great about himself. Maybe some chai tea and Indian food from his favorite place would cheer him up.
I ran into the tower and up to the common floor.
“I’m here! I’m here, Code green, I have Indian food and Chai tea someone get him some clothes for when he shrinks down and…” I said realizing that the tower was not at all in shambles and that everyone including Bruce was sitting down not looking at all affected by turning green.
“Code Green?” Bruce asked confused.
“Uh…” Tony said.
“You didn’t…” Natasha said realizing what had happened.
“She wouldn’t have come for any other reason.” Tony said.
“You faked a code green?” I said.
“You told her it was a code green?” Bruce said to Tony.
“You came here when there may have been a code green?” Steve said.
“Why would you do that?”!” Bruce said annoyed at Tony. “That’s like pulling a fire alarm when there isn’t a fire.”
“Or saying there’s a bomb on a plane.” I said before handing the tea and food to Bruce. “I got you samosas.”
“Thank you.” Bruce said gratefully taking the bag and tea.
“You wouldn’t have come if I hadn’t.” Tony said.
“What is so important you couldn’t have waited until tomorrow?” I asked.
“Oh I don’t know, the fact that you moved out?” Tony said.
“There’s nothing we need to discuss. I moved out. End of story.” I said.
“Hanna you can’t move out.” Steve said.
“See, you got Capsicle and I to agree on something. We must be right about this.” Tony said.
“No, it just means you’re both wrong.” I said getting up. “See you tomorrow.
“Hanna.” Steve said gently grabbing my arm to stop me which I shrugged out of. “It’s not safe for you out there by yourself.”
“I don’t really care.” I said. “I get shot, blown up, drown… I’ll come back. I don’t want to be here. I need space to breathe, to think to just…. fucking be!”
“You have your own floor… Do you want another one?” Tony asked.
“It doesn’t matter how big my room is, I’m under a microscope. Someone is always right behind me, I’m always being tracked, and I can’t live like that.” I said.
“We just want what’s best for you.” Clint said.
“And that is exactly my problem.” I said. “You all have this need to hover and coddle me.”
“That is our job.” Thor said.
“No it’s not.” I said shutting that down quickly. “Look I get that you guys had this idea of what your person was supposed to be like and what your relationship with them is going to be but that’s not what this is and the expectation you have for what this is going to be well, frankly its insane.”
“None of that made any sense.” Natasha said.
“I must admit I am confused.” Thor added.
“And I feel like I’m talking to a wall.” I said.
“We’re never going to figure out what… this whole thing is if you’re not here.” Tony said.
“No, If I stay here, I’m going to jump off that fucking balcony.” I said pointing outside.
“Hanna.” Natasha warned.
“And that’s why you shouldn’t be alone.” Tony said.
“You don’t get a say in this. You faked a code green because you couldn’t track me.” I said.
“Do you want a raise? Give me a number, it’s yours.” Tony said.
“You would pay me to move back in?” I said.
“I’ll give you whatever you want. This is where you belong.” Tony said.
“I’m not going to even going try to explain how many professional boundaries you just crossed let alone how many red flags you just raised with that statement.” I said.
“I can’t win with you!” Tony said frustrated.
“You don’t need to win. I’m telling you what I need and I’m going to ask you as a friend to please respect that.” I said.
“But you’re not our friend you’re our soulmate.” Steve said.
“That can’t be the excuse for everything.” I said.
“Can you at least tell us where you’re staying?” Natasha asked.
“That would defeat the whole point of moving out.” I said as my phone beeped. “I’m calling it a day. Don’t forget your 2 o’clock.”
I got in the elevator and considered just leaving but realized I wasn't sure if I was coming in tomorrow and I could not run around New York in these heels. My blisters had blisters after today.
I walked into my old apartment and kicked off my heels. I wish someone would go back in time and shoot whatever patriarchal dick spread the belief that wearing heels was a good idea.
I quickly grabbed the 2 duffle bags in my closet and started throwing everything I could fit into them. When the heck did I even buy all of these clothes? I don’t remember ever trying on over half of it all.
“You’re really leaving?” Natasha said breaking the silence and making me jump.
“Ah Fuck, you have got to stop doing that!” I shouted.
“Habit.” She said glancing at the bags in the bed. “You pack fast.”
“I have errands.” I said zipping up a bag.
“We could have them delivered for you.” Natasha tried.
“Nice try.” I said going to the bathroom to grab the last of my toiletries. “Well this has been fun. I’ll see you around.
I reached for my bag bug Natasha grabbed my hand to stop.
“Don’t go.” She said linking her fingers with mine.
“Natasha.” I said.
“This is where you’re supposed to be.” Natasha said.
“You and I both know that’s not true.” I said pulling my hand back before grabbing my bags and leaving.
Moving is expensive. Between my hotel stay and all the taxis I was taking moving back and forth, it was really starting to add up. Add to that how much time it took me to lug everything up to the loft, I had lost the rest of the day.
Shady Acres 2 and 3 were going to have to wait until tomorrow.
It took longer than expected to put everything away and I chose to soak in that gorgeous clawfoot bathtub over making dinner. My feet definitely needed it.
Once the water started getting cold and skin was starting to get pruned I got out and into a very comfy set of loungewear. I opted for the softest pair of knit joggers, a white Henley tank top and the softest cashmere warp cardigan that. desperately needed to get in every color available.
I don’t even remember buying this. The TV was on mostly for the background noise as I read through the big book of Asgardian bedtime stories. I didn’t feel like cooking so I was eating some chips.
It was nice and quiet. Exactly what I needed after a day like today.
But they still didn’t get it.
I was reading about how Odin met Frigga when there was a knock at my door. That was weird because no one knew I was here.
Unless it was the neighbors coming to complain about the TV.
“Crap.” I said getting up and going to the door. I was going to open it when my common sense started tingling. I didn’t know my neighbors. In fact even in LA I would never open the door if I didn’t get a text from Theo saying it was him knocking on the door.
Whoever it was started knocking again.
“Just a sec.” I called out looking for something I could use to hit them on the head with. I ended up grabbing a decorative bookend. Once I made sure the chain was on the door I opened it just a bit to reveal the last person I expected to find me here.
“Hi.” Bruce said standing there awkwardly.
“Bruce?” I said still surprised.
“You brought me lunch. Thought I’d return the favor with dinner.” He said holding up a brown paper bag to a very fancy restaurant I knew for a fact did not offer takeout unless you’re Tony Stark. “I know you like Italian.”
“I’m going to say this in the nicest way I can right now. How the hell did you find me?” I asked.
“Uh… I didn’t.” Bruce said. I looked at him confused as I started thinking about today and retraced my steps. The only way Tony could track me would be tracking my phone or bracelet but Jarvis was still blocking him for me. The only other person who would track me would be either Clint or Natasha. Clint liked to give people space and watch from a distance but he’d probably give me a few days to cool off. That only left Natasha but when would she… I left her alone with my bags.
“Natasha.” I said knowing the answer. “Where are they?”
“Not here.” Bruce said.
“You know, things like this are why I moved out.” I said before closing the door.
“Hanna.” Bruce called out.
I was very tempted to tell Bruce to go away but I hadn’t had dinner and it smelled really good. Damn Tony.
I opened the door again.
“Did you get garlic knots?” I asked.
“Two orders.” Bruce answered. I closed the door and undid the chain opening the door for Bruce to walk in.
“Since you’re already here.” I said gesturing for him to walk in.
“Uh thanks.” Bruce said hesitating before walking in. Sometimes it was really hard to believe that this sweet soft spoken shy man turned into a giant green behemoth that liked to smash things. “This is really nice. Big… with a view.”
I looked at him curiously wondering why he seemed to be describing everything he saw when I noticed something in his ear.
“Ehem.” I said putting my hand out gesturing for him to hand it over. Bruce thought I was talking about the bag of food and offered it to me. I shook my head refusing to say another word for them to overhear. I pointed to his ear.
Bruce took out the earpiece and handed it over. I then walked it over the kitchen sink threw it down the drain and turned on the food disposal. I left it on for about a minute waiting for it to be completely destroyed.
“So, how’d you get stuck with the short end of this deal?” I asked him.
“It was between me and Thor.” Bruce admitted. “But Thor tends to come on a bit too strong.”
“So they picked you.” I said.
“Yeah. They think you’re a bit easier when it comes to me because of the other guy.” Bruce said.
“You think I’m scared of the Hulk?” I asked.
“You’re not scared of the other guy?” Bruce asked.
“Not really. I mean considering the emotional rollercoaster I've put you on since we’ve met he hasn’t showed up once. Safe to say I’m on his do not smash list.” I said. “Plus even if he did smash me it’s not like I’d stay dead.”
“That’s… good to know.” He said.
“I’ll grab some plates.” I said going to the kitchen.
“This is a really great loft. Roomy.” Bruce said. “How’d you find it?”
“Internet.” I answered still not happy that he was here. “We’re going to have a quiet dinner in front of the TV. I’ll put on a nature documentary and we’re not going to say anything for the next hour or so. Does that work for you?”
“Okay.” Bruce said probably just glad I didn’t kick him out.
We got settled and sat on the couch in complete silence for about 20 minutes.
“I know you’re mad about today…” Bruce started.
“I’m trying to learn about the deep blue sea Bruce. 90% of the ocean hasn’t been explored so mermaids might be real.” I said.
“Stranger things have happened.” He said. “I know you asked for space but we’re just worried about you.”
“I’m fine.” I said.
“I know this is all new and we’re probably not what you expected…” Bruce said.
“That would be an understatement. I can’t keep having this conversation. I didn’t grow up with the idea of soulmates Bruce.” I said. “I’m not like the rest of you. I don’t buy into all of this the way you do and you just don’t get it because you can’t.”
“We understand that this is a lot to take in.” He said.
“No you don’t and it’s not you. It’s me, I’m the problem here. This is all on me.” I said.
“We’re trying to understand but… you’re not making any sense.” Bruce said trying to say that as gently as he could.
“Seven Ph.D’s and not of them can help here?” I said.
“Sorry.” He said.
“I give up.” I said stuffing my mouth with a garlic knot. “If it wasn't me and it was Betty trying to explain this to you?”
“No.” Bruce said shutting down that idea immediately. “That was never going to work out. I can call Tony?”
“Don’t you dare.” I said.
“Do you want to try to explain it to me?” Bruce said.
“I've tried. You just don’t get it and maybe it’s because I don’t get it either.” I said.
“Maybe we’re looking at this the wrong way.” Bruce said. “You know what Tony and Steve and Everyone else wants.”
“Is that what you want?” I asked Bruce.
“I want whatever you want.” Bruce said.
“That’s not an answer.” I said.
“There’s six of us and one of you. I know better than anyone what it’s like to not always be in control and have someone else make decisions for me…” Bruce said. “I wouldn’t wish that on anyone, especially you. I want whatever you want.”
“And if that means staying away for a while?” I asked.
“I ran away to India.” Bruce said. “Sometimes space is a good thing. So what do you want?”
“I want something but I want it to be my choice and it would be nice if it was reciprocal but also the other person or persons choice but it really can’t be their choice because there’s this thing that overrules all logic and there’s no way to know if its reciprocated because its their choice or because of that thing and if it’s because of that thing then that would make none of it real and What then?” I said. “Right?”
“Uh…” Bruce said rubbing his chin. “Hanna… That doesn’t make any sense.”
“Seven Ph.Ds Bruce.” I said. “Seven. And not one?”
“I really regret dropping psychology.” Bruce said apologetically making me laugh.
“You know I’m not going back?” I asked.
“I know.” He said not the least bit surprised. “I wouldn’t be surprised if you moved.”
“Universes? Considered it but it’s not as fun as it looks.” I said thinking back to the voices and shadows at the bottom of that very dark pit.
“That’s not the word I’d use to describe it.” Bruce said. “You’re not going to jump off that balcony if I go?”
“My jumping days are over.” I said. “I meant it when I said you are putting me on every form of life support known to man if I end up in a coma. I’m giving Hulk permission to smash anyone who tries to pull that plug.”
“I’ll do my best.” Bruce said getting up.
“Can you do me a favor?” I asked Bruce as I walked him out.
“Of course.” He said.
“Tell Tony I’m taking the rest of the week off.” I said. “I’m actually surprised he didn’t storm in here.”
“He was outvoted.” Bruce said. “Good night.”
“Night.” I said closing the door behind him.
The Following Day…
Shady Acres #2 was another bust and made me wish I didn’t make it to retirement.
That left me where I was today. Shady Acres #3. Third time was the charm. At least I hope it was because I don’t know what I was going to do if Odin wasn't here.
Maybe I should look up flights to Norway?
I walked in and checked in at the reception desk. I didn’t even get to finish my cover story before I was given a stick-on name badge and waved in to do my community service hours.
The security in these places was severely lacking. If they knew who could be staying here they would flip.
One of the nurses gave me a cart loaded with pudding cups to hand out and an old, stained apron.
I did the rounds and handed out the cups. I looked around until I saw a very loopy only man talking to a crow in the courtyard and the crow seemed to be cawing back.
“And then Sophia said, No matter how bad things get, remember these sage words: You’re old, you sag, get over it.” Odin said before laughing hysterically. “It’s funny because its true!”
Who would have thought Odin was a Golden Girls fan.
“Oh get over yourself Blanche, there is no shame in getting old.” Odin said to the crow.
He named the crow Blanche.
“Loki did a number on you.” I said to myself cautiously getting closer before the crow spotted me and flew away.
“Pudding!” Odin said raising his hands in the air and helping himself.
“Uh, Hi. I’m not sure you remember me.” I started.
“Of course I remember you. You’re the pudding girl!” Odin said.
“No… well right now yes. Odin.” I said.
“Odin who?” Odin said savoring his pudding.
“Odin, Protector of the nine realms, son of Borr, Husband of Frigga?” I said hoping something would resonate with him. “Father, and I’m using this term very lightly, of Thor God of Thunder, Loki god of Mischief?”
“I don’t know if I like butterscotch or chocolate more. But not tapioca, never tapioca.” Odin said.
“Okay, I’m going to say the third one, and this better not be a Beetlejuice situation where I say it outload and you go bezerk. You’re also the father or Hela, the goddess of death. She was your pride and joy until you grew a conscious. Any of this ringing a bell?” I asked.
“Thank you for being a friend
Traveled down a road and back again
Your heart is true, you're a pal and a confidant
I'm not ashamed to say
I hope it always will stay this way
My hat is off, won't you stand up and take a bow” Odin sang.
“This is going to be harder than I thought.” I said looking around. “How do you feel about maybe going for a walk? Maybe we’ll run into Blanche and the other Golden Girls.”
“Dorothy and Rose?” Odin said. “Rose is my favorite.”
“I bet she is. I’ll be sure to mention that to your wife next time I see her.” I said moving Odin’s wheelchair closer to him and gently nudging him back into it.
“Oh wait pudding! I want pudding!” Odin said snatching an arm full of pudding cups as I rushed him out of his this dump. No wonder this place ends up condemned.