Chapter 37
I’ve had to answer a lot of hard questions in my life. I’ve been at some insane crossroads that somehow ended with me falling into a parallel universe where I now had to make an impossible choice.
I wasn’t a stranger to impossible choices. At 17 when I could have slammed the door in Grace’s face after her water broke and she got placenta all over my favorite boots, I made the choice to hold her hand and stay with her during the entire 10 hour delivery. That’s how I became an aunt, well other than the fact that my brother knocked Grace up nine months before.
At 18 when a complete stranger came up to me at a bar and kissed me (Without my consent I might add) I could have thrown my overpriced drink in his face and maybe even pressed assault charges. Instead I chose to accept his apology and talked him down from edge of a breakdown before helping him come to terms with the fact that he was gay. That’s how I met my best friend who is more of a brother to me than my actual brother.
Then six months after that when Grace called begging for help, I could have ignored the call, send it to my voicemail and that would have been the end of it. Instead I picked up the phone and took in my nephew.
All of those decisions led me to where I was now.
Locked in my room at Stark tower going through a career aptitude test, looking at job prospects online and making a pro and con list of each of those choices.
It was not going well.
How was it this freaking hard to figure out what I wanted to do with my life? It wasn’t this hard in my world the first time I had to do it at 17.
Then again I didn’t have many options back in my world.
I just wanted to get away from my parents. I needed to go to the school that was farthest away but gave me the best financial aid. I wanted to be a doctor because they made a lot of money and you could never have too many of those. That went out the window when Jamie came into the picture and couldn’t waste time or money on med school.
I had to be practical. I needed a good stable career that only needed a 4 year degree.
So I got a Bachelors in Biology and went to work at a pharmaceutical company in their sales department.
Fuck did I hate that job but it paid the bills and the benefits were good.
I definitely did not want to go back to that. That was one thing off my list. That and anything relating to customer service. People are the worst.
“Miss Marin, Sir would like permission to enter your quarters.” Jarvis said.
“Uh… Just a second.” I said quickly putting away and hiding all signs of my quarter life crisis. Once I was sure it was all out of sight I sat on the couch and picked up a book. “He can come in.”
A few seconds later the door and Tony walked in.
“Hey sunshine, you busy?” He asked.
“I’m in the middle of a really good book.” I said.
“Eat Pray Love?” Tony asked struggling to contain his grin.
“Yeah, it’s a real page turner.” I said. Where did this book even come from? I thought I had grabbed Shakespeare’s Julius Caesar.
“I can imagine. Julia Roberts was great in the movie and Naples does have the best pizza. I should get some delivered for dinner. Jarvis?” Tony said.
“That’s a waste of a good pizza and jet fuel.” I said
“Why you want to go to Naples? We can go to Naples.” He said.
“You okay?” I asked.
“Yeah why?” He asked.
“You’re being really extra today. More than usual.” I said.
“I’m great… Are you okay?” Tony asked.
“Never better.” I answered smiling.
“Great…” Tony said smiling obviously forcing it. “So we were thinking of maybe having a movie night? Order pizza from Naples… or down the block, or both…”
“That sounds great.” I said.
“Great.” Tony said.
“Great.” I said. We stared at each other for a minute, neither of us knowing what to say.
“Kay see you later.” Tony said leaving the room.
“Okay.” I said. That was not awkward at all. I closed eat pray love and stared at Julia Roberts on the cover. It took the woman over a year and three continents post-divorce only to probably end up right back where she started. Why go around the world when you live in one of the most diverse melting pots of art and culture in the world?
What a joke… I put the book away and went back to trying to work things out.
As it turns out no matter what universe you were in choosing what you were going to do with the rest of your life was hard.
How did anyone wake up one day and just know what they were going to do with the rest of their lives?
“Miss Marin, Captain Rogers wished to inform you that dinner has arrived.” Jarvis said.
“Dinner time already…” I said. “Crap my college counselor was right, I really am going nowhere in life.”
I got up and headed upstairs only to walk into Clint and Tony arguing over which movie we should watch for movie night that Steve could not spend another day without watching.
“it’s De Niro, Pesci… Goodfellas is a classic.” Clint said.
“The Godfather is the Godfather of all mob movies.” Tony said.
“The movie argument again?” I asked Natasha.
“Yeah.” She said. “On the bright side there’s pizza from Naples.”
“He actually flew in pizza from Naples?” I asked.
“He said he got the idea from the book you were reading.” Natasha said taking a bite.
“Okay then…” I said grabbing a slice.
“I didn’t take you for a Julia Roberts fan.” Natasha said.
“I thought there’d be more pizza.” I said.
“Don’t worry about the pizza there’s way more where that came from.” Clint said putting a pizza down in front of me.
“Yay leftovers.” I said. “The best weekend breakfast… cold pizza and coffee.”
“Like I said before, cold pizza and coffee is not breakfast.” Steve chided.
“Not all of us enjoy plain toast and a boiled egg for breakfast every day.” I said.
“Eggs and toast are breakfast foods.” Steve said.
“You could at least scramble the eggs.” Natasha said.
“Or eggs in a nest?” I suggested.
“You eat bird’s nests?” Thor asked. “Is that like the pigs in blanket?”
“It’s bread you cut a hole in and fill with egg before baking it.” I said as everyone looked at me confused. “You guys haven’t tried that before?”
“Can’t say I have.” Bruce said.
“No.” Tony said.
“It was all over… oh right. It’s an Instagram food trend or it will be in a few years. You guys are going to love it.” I said.
“Can’t wait to try it.” Tony said.
“You’ve been doing a lot of reading lately. Any recommendations?” Bruce asked.
“Oh I’m just going through the classics.” I said.
“I didn’t know Eat Pray Love was a classic?” Tony said.
“It is in my world.” I said. Not technically a complete lie. It was over 10 years old in my time. “How’s work? Any news on the SHIELD/HYDRA situation?”
“Still no news from Fury.” Natasha said. “Still no new intel or any Winter… I mean Bucky sightings.”
“Doubt there would be any, they only take him out of cryo if there’s a job for him.” I said. “He’ll come up in a few months, you’ll dismantle SHIELD and we’ll right back where we started.”
“Maybe if you…” Steve started.
“Oh ELF! We should watch it. This one’s a classic no matter what universe you’re in.” I said.
“There is a movie about Dark Elves?” Thor asked.
“No, he’s not an elf. He was just raised by elves. The good kind that build toys for kids that Santa delivers on Christmas Eve.” I said.
“Just watch Pointbreak you’re going to love it.” Tony said.
And he did. Even Steve laughed along at Buddy’s antics but for some reason even the happiest and goofiest Christmas movie that could put a smile on anyone’s face could not distract me from my ongoing existential crisis.
How could freaking Buddy the Elf just find a way to fit in both the North Pole and the real world?
What the hell am I doing with my life?
“Hanna?” Clint said shaking my shoulder.
“Huh?” I said not knowing what the hell was going on.
“You okay?” Natasha asked.
“Yeah why?” I asked.
“The movie’s been over for 15 minutes.” Bruce said. “And you were staring off into space.”
“Oh was I? Guess I’m tired.” I said with a shrug as I got up. “It’s a good a time as any to call it a night.”
“It’s not even nine yet?” Tony said.
“Early bird catches the worm. Night.” I said waving at them not even bothering to look back.
Once I was out of earshot…
“That was weird right?” Tony said.
“There’s something bothering her.” Steve said. “She’s done that before.”
“Stare off into space? Everyone does that.” Bruce said.
“She has been a bit closed off the last couple of days.” Clint said. “Well more that usual.”
“Perhaps we should speak to Hanna and ask her what troubles her?” Thor suggest.
Everyone turned to look at him like he had grown another head.
“Has that ever worked?” Clint deadpanned.
“One time I asked her why she was mad and she threw a shoe at me.” Steve said and Natasha rolled her eyes muttering ‘Men under her breath.
“Hanna has always been very open and honest.” Thor said making Tony snort. Thor was starting to lose his patience with Tony’s comments.
“What Tony means is, Hanna’s gotten better but we’re not there yet.” Bruce said.
“Let’s just give her some space. She’ll talk when she’s ready.” Steve said.
“Can we give her space while getting her out of her room?” Natasha hinted.
“I think we should wait her out. As long as she isn’t sneaking out to get drunk every night, we should be okay.” Clint said.
“He’s not wrong. How long could she really hole up in there for?” Bruce said.
“You have a robot butler that can have everything brought up to her, Every movie and TV show available with the click of a button, and she doesn’t want to talk to anyone.” Natasha said.
“We’re screwed.” Tony said.
The Following Morning…
I was officially starting to lose hope.
After spending a week taking every possible career aptitude and personality assessment and just because I wanted to cover all my bases… a couple of BuzzFeed quizzes. I had nothing.
Well nothing but a bunch of quizzes that said that the most I would ever amount to is middle management sales because apparently I was a people person, or as one personality quiz said I was a nurturer not a planter. Ironically another quiz said I should consider working in a plant nursery because the plants wouldn’t be offended by my prickly personality.
I was doomed to live a mediocre life. What’s worse… I was doomed to live said mediocre life bonded to people who were the best of the best in their respective fields.
I groaned as I fell back onto my bed only to land on the spine of an open book.
“Ow… Screw you Julia Roberts.” I said pulling out “Eat Pray Love” from under me. I was about to throw it when I realized… Julia Roberts may be onto something.
A long long… very long time ago, I’d like to believe I wasn't this miserable, hopeless shell of a person. I had hopes, dreams, aspirations… I was hungry to live my life. Then life decided to crap all over said hopes, dreams and aspirations, threw multiple curveballs at me before ping ponging me across the multiverse until I met ended up with six soulmates. (To this day I’m not entirely sure what the logistics of a relationship like that looked like nor was I ready to even open that can of worms yet.)
Maybe I was in the right universe but I wasn't going to find the answers I was looking for in this room. So I got out of bed and got dressed.
Julia Roberts took a year to travel across the world to find herself. I wasted almost a year in my world and really didn’t feel like traveling with the Winter Soldier right around the corner. Lucky for me I was currently living in one of the most diverse global hubs in the world. So I could skip all of the air travel and get straight to the work.
I slipped on a pair of dark wash skinny jeans, a heather grey crew neck knit sweater, a pair of black leather heeled ankle booties and a black wool coat with a wool grey scarf to help stay warm. Having spent my entire life in California, I was having some trouble adjusting the weather in New York, specifically the fact that it was an actual winter with snow or close to it.
It was still very early but due to it being so close to Christmas the corporate office were closed until January. That meant the main Entrance/exit lobby was closed and sadly so was the Starbucks on the ground floor. That left the private garage as the best options to slip out.
“Garage.” I said when I stepped into the elevator.
“You’re up early miss.” Jarvis greeted me.
“The early bird catches the worm.” I answered as the elevator started moving down.
“Would you like me to let anyone know you will be out running errands?” Jarvis asked.
“Smooth…. Only if they ask.” I answered looking up options as to where to start my ‘Travels’. “Just no tracking me. I don’t care what universe we’re in or what the relationship status is, stalking is not cool.”
“Duly noted Miss.” Jarvis answered as the elevator doors opened to the garage. I walked out to rows of Tony’s sports cars in a variety of colors with his signature vanity plates lined up along the way.
“These never stop being cool. Don’t ever tell him I said that.” I warned Jarvis. If he heard that he’d want to buy me one.
I was looking up which train would be the best one to take to get when I remembered the last time I took a train in New York. My hair was just starting to brush my shoulders, I could not pull off a pixie cut.
I was almost at the door when one car caught my eye. Tony had just gotten the white Audi R8 e-tron delivered before the Mandarin blew up the house. Obviously since then Tony had upgraded and replaced the car for another in the same model but in hot rod red.
That car was gorgeous… but it was New York. How practical was it to drive around?
But all things considered it may be the safest option for me. I did not want to die again. Dying sucks and it does not get any better the more you do it.
“Hey Jarvis what’s Tony’s policy on borrowing cars?” I asked.
“Sir allows all his guests and friends to freely borrow his vehicles at their leisure.” Jarvis said as the ceiling lights turned on lighting the way to the cabinet where all the keys were kept.
“Yes…” I cheered running to the cabinet. I tested out the alarms on a handful of cars until I finally found the one key to the R8 e-tron.
I opened the door and slipped in. I buckled up and started the engine. I was not an engineer or a car person but it was such a great sound.
“Jarvis are you in this car?” I asked.
“Yes Miss, Sir has my system integrated into all of his vehicles.” Jarvis said.
“Which means he can track all of his cars whenever he wants?” I said putting two and two together.”
“That is a default function that cannot be overridden.” Jarvis said.
“Figures… Okay but can you alert me if anyone tries to track this car or if anyone say… Tony brings up the location or asks for it?” I said.
“That would be within the capabilities of my programming.” Jarvis said.
“Great… now let’s see where the day takes us.” I said speeding out of the garage.
Hours Later…
It was a typical early morning in Avengers Tower. Steve was up bright and early to go on his morning run. He was on his way back when he saw Tony’s red Audi drive out of the garage. He didn’t think anything of it. The billionaire was a busy man… when he wasn't locked in his lab.
Steve ran up to the gym to do a few sets on the upgraded punching bags Tony had made for him. From there he would shower clean up and then go help make breakfast.
By then Clint and Natasha would be done with their morning workouts if they weren’t out on a mission.
Bruce would eventually come up from his lab if not to eat to make himself another cup of tea.
“Flapjacks are ready, Jarvis can you let Hanna know breakfast is ready.” Steve said.
“Miss Marin is currently unavailable Captain Rogers.” Jarvis said.
“I’ll go check on Hanna.” Thor said getting out of his seat to go knock on her door.
Just as the elevator doors opened for Thor, Tony sauntered out.
“Good Morning Pointbreak.” Tony said patting his shoulder as he passed by him.
“Good morrow.” Thor said continuing on his way.
“What’s for breakfast?” Tony said as he poured himself a cup of coffee and refilling Clint’s cup. Clint nodded his thanks before taking another sip.
“You’re back already?” Steve said.
“Back? I didn’t know I went anywhere.” Tony said.
“I saw your car drive when I came back from my run.” Steve said.
“I haven’t left the tower in three…” Tony said looking unsure.
“Four days.” Bruce and Jarvis corrected.
“Four days? Wow that was a good lab bender.” Tony said.
“Wait, you saw his car drive off but you’re here and so are we…” Natasha said and Clint immediately picked up what she was getting at.
“Have we been breached?” Clint asked and immediately everyone was on guard.
“Jarvis show me the security feed of the garage.” Tony said pulling out his phone. Sure enough he could see his red Audi speeding off. “Who stole my car?”
“Sir…” Jarvis started but was interrupted by Thor running in.
“Hanna’s gone!” Thor said.
“Sir…” Jarvis started.
“What do you mean she’s gone?” Natasha said. “Did she leave or was it a break in? Was anything missing? Were there signs of a struggle?”
“No she was just not in her room.” Thor said.
“She probably just went out for a coffee or for a walk.” Steve said.
“We had a break in and now she’s missing.” Clint said.
“Not missing, she's just not in her room.” Bruce corrected.
“Hanna doesn’t leave her room. Except for dinner.” Tony said.
“Sir if I may?” Jarvis said bringing up a live feed but this time from inside the garage of Hanna getting into the car and driving away.
“Hanna was in the car?” Tony said. “Does she even have a license? Wait since when does she drive?”
“Ehem…” Steve cleared his throat. “I taught her how… while we were in her world. It was safer than taking the metro.”
“Really?” Bruce asked.
“Mhm…” Steve said with a nod. “She probably just went out for some air.”
“Yeah… but just in case. Jarvis can you tell us where she is?” Tony said.
“Certainly sir.” Jarvis said as a map appeared pinpointing the car’s location. It was outside the city moving along a highway.
“Where is she going?” Clint asked.
“Let’s ask.” Tony said dialing Hanna.
Hanna who had started driving and suddenly got the bright idea to go to the beach was about halfway to the Hamptons when she got his call.
“Ye-llo?” Hanna answered. She was driving with the top of the car down and a pair of Tony’s aviators that she had found in one of the car’s compartments.
“Hey you.” Tony said.
“Huh?” Hanna said.
“Hanna?” Tony said.
“Yeah, what’s up?” She answered.
“Oh nothing much just having breakfast.” Tony said. “Where are you?”
“Uh somewhere on the 27.” Hanna answered.
“What’s the 27?” Thor asked.
“The highway to… Staten Island?” Clint asked Steve.
“That’s one of the exits.” Steve said.
“Why would she go to Staten Island?” Natasha asked.
“Okay… are you lost?” Tony said.
“Yeah Tony can’t really…. To loud… the tops down…” Hanna said.
“Her top is down?” Bruce asked.
“I think she’s driving with the top down.” Tony said. “Okay are you lost because we can come get you or…”
“Really can’t hear you… I’ll just see you later.” Hanna said before hanging up.
“Okay… she’s fine.” Tony said. “And in Staten Island apparently.”
“It’s good. She’s not locked in her room anymore.” Steve said.
“That’s great.” Bruce said.
“Unless she’s going to a bar.” Natasha said.
“She wouldn’t have taken a car if she was going to drink.” Tony said before second guessing himself. “She wouldn’t right?”
“No. She calls drunk drivers inconsiderate idiots.” Steve said. “She just needs space and fresh air. It’ll be good for her.”
“Good… I was about to drag her out of that room.” Natasha said.
“So we just wait until she gets back.” Tony said. “When do you think that will be?”
“Tony.” Bruce said.
Fine… she’s just out the city not the universe.” Tony said.
Hamptons, New York – About an hour later
I parked the car and stepped out of it. It was windy and not at all beach weather but that was the best reason to come to the beach. The beach was empty and I was alone. Just me myself and I with my thoughts and the enormity of the ocean.
It was cloudy, the sun was not shining but it was perfect.
I walked for a while until I found the perfect sport to sit down and do some journaling.
I had my doubts when Elaine suggested it but having an internal conversation with myself on paper helped me put my thoughts in order. Currently I was debating where I go from here. I didn’t think I was going to end up in the Hamptons but since I was here I may as well treat this as my Italy with just a bit more Christmas than I was expecting.
There just so happened to be a pop up Christmas winter market not so far from where I was.
I never expected to find a flea market in such an upscale place as the Hamptons but once I got there it all made sense. Essentially they had move everything from the eclectic shops to tables onto the side walk and the shop owners were essentially bored house wives with hobby shops.
Great for me though. I made my way through each shop picking up a chic black tweed tote bag that could totally double as a laptop bag.
It also worked great to carry everything else I bought. There was a shop that was selling bags of candied pecans and churro flavored pretzels. To say I stocked up on those would be an understatement. With the way Thor and Steve ate they wouldn’t last until tomorrow.
Speaking of Steve I found a little surprise from him at an antique shop. I was sure that would at the very least get a chuckle out of him and the more I looked around I found some great things. I bought myself a few thrifted dresses that still had the tags on them. I even got Natasha a pair of cute earrings and an emerald green cashmere scarf.
I still hadn’t found my calling but it was a good first day and I’m not a total grinch.
Unfortunately I got stuck in traffic on the way back and didn’t make it back until way later in the day.
“Miss Marin, Sir is tracking your location once again.” Jarvis said.
“Again?” I said. “Stalking is considered a bad thing in this universe right?”
“Yes Miss. In some states it is even considered a crime.” Jarvis said.
“You know if I didn’t have the car, I would be hitting a bar so freaking hard right now and as bad as I was before, I was way worse when I was in college.” I said.
“I would not encourage you to get behind the wheel after drinking Miss. I believe the local authorities still consider it driving under the influence if the auto pilot is engaged.” Jarvis said.
“Wait this thing has auto pilot? As in it drives itself?” I said. “Why didn’t you say anything sooner? My foot’s been cramping up since Long Island.”
“You never asked.” Jarvis retorted.
“Touche Jarvis, Touche. I swear if I didn’t already know Tony was your father your snark would be a dead giveaway.” I said.
“I believe you are speaking metaphorically miss.” Jarvis said.
“And now you’re playing coy.” I said as the garage door opened and drove in. While I knew I was tracked I did not actually expect Tony to be in the garage waiting for me when I got it.
“Here we go…” I mumbled as I parked the car and turned off the engine. He was pretending that he had just finished working on one of his cars but I doubt he would work on one of the cars in a designer suit.
“Hey.” Tony said.
“Hey…” I said as I closed the car door.
“Fun day?” He asked.
“Sure.” I said. “Meeting?”
“Pepper wanted to talk about some stuff… I cut it short.” He said.
“You cut a meeting with the CEO of your company to lurk in a dark garage?” I asked.
“The car needed a tune up.” Tony said.
“Uhuh…” I said totally not buying that excuse. “I’m just going to give these back to you and I’m going to grab some dinner.”
“You actually missed dinner.” Tony said. “You know how Cap likes to eat dinner at like six. Such an old man.”
“Leftovers for me then. Cold Pizza is always good.” I said
“Or we could go grab a late dinner somewhere?” He suggested. “We’re probably out of pizza.”
“I sincerely doubt that. Clint lives here.” I said as the elevator door opened.
“You sure? I know a good burger spot that also makes great shakes.” He said trying to tempt me.
“No thanks.” I said reaching up for the sunglasses I was using as a makeshift headband. “Night.”
“Are those my glasses?” Tony asked as the elevator doors shut.
“Common room please.” I said to Jarvis.
“Sir asked me to inform you that his dinner invitation is open for whenever you’d like.” Jarvis asked.
“Still a polite no.” I said as the doors opened to the common room. I really hadn’t realized how late it was. No one was here probably all in their own rooms about to call it a night.
That was fine for me. I put my bags down and started scavenging for food. I found the cold pizza as well as a prepped salad that was probably part of dinner. I stuck a piece of pizza in my mouth as I put the salad on the counter and started looking for something to drink.
“I left you a plate in the microwave.” Steve said from behind me making me jump and bump my head.
“Ow…” I said standing up. “You guys have really got to stop sneaking up on me.”
“I could say the same about you sneaking out.” Steve said.
“I didn’t sneak out. All you had to do was ask Jarvis.” I said.
“It’s still nice to hear it from you.” Steve said going to heat up my dinner. “Natasha thought there was a security breach.”
“You guys are way too paranoid.” I said.
“Considering everything that’s happened, I’d say we’re being cautious.” Steve said.
“Tomay-to Tomah-to.” I said with a shrug before I remembered what I had found for him. “Well it’s good that you’re here. I found something really interesting in an antique shop in East Hampton that I think you’re going to like.”
“You got me a present?” Steve said surprised.
“I wouldn’t really call it a present more like returning something you misplaced about… 70-ish years ago.” I said taking out the leatherbound journal from the bag and handing it over to him.
Steve took it and slowly opened the journal chuckling as he started flipping the pages until he stopped at one drawing of a monkey dancing while riding a unicycle.
“You found my sketch journal?” Steve said.
“I was surprised when I saw it too. I thought it was a dupe until I saw the photo hidden in the back cover.” I said and Steve went to go see what photo I was referring to.
He slowly pulled out the old black and white photo of a younger and scrawnier Steve with a woman with the same blonde hair and blue eyes.
“Ma.” Steve said.
“I recognized her from the photo in your file.” I said.
“This is… it’s the last photo of her from Mother’s day before she got sick.” Steve said tearing up a bit. “I saved up for months to take her out for a nice dinner. She worked long shifts to be able to pay rent and my asthma medicine and all the other medicines.”
“She was a good mom.” I said.
“The best.” Steve said wiping away a tear. “Thank you.”
“She belongs with you instead of a dusty old shop or a museum.” I said taking a bite of the roast. “Oh wow that’s tender. Braised?”
“It’s all in the basting.” He said with a smirk making me laugh. That was Theo’s favorite comeback whenever someone gave him a complement.
“That will never not be funny.” I said.
“I still don’t get it.” Steve said.
“I don’t think you’re there yet.” I said knowing Steve would not approve of the dirty joke behind that phrase.
“Did you finally tell him what ‘That’s what she said’ means?” Natasha said almost making me choke.
“I need to put a bell on all of you. Is Clint watching us from the vent?” I asked as both Steve and Natasha went quiet.
“Maybe.” Clint said from somewhere we couldn’t see which was an obvious yes.
“Open up.” I said reaching into the tote bag and pulling out a bag of Churro flavored pretzels.
“Why?” He called out as I heard the vent creak open.
“Catch.” I said before throwing the bag into the vent.
“Thanks.” Clint said closing the vent
Natasha kept looking at the bag curiously and thought not was as good a time as any. I pulled out the scarf and the box with the earrings.
“For you.” I said and offered them to her.
“You got me a present?” Natasha said with a completely blank face. If I didn’t know better I would think I surprised her.
She slowly reached over to take the scarf from my hand.
“I saw it and I remembered you lost your favorite scarf when the mansion got blown up.” I said.
“It’s great. Thank you.” She said immediately putting it on.
Steve and Natasha just stared at me.
“And now you’re being weird.” I said. “Did I make it weird?”
“No!” they both said.
“No we’re just…” Steve started but before he could stick his foot in his mouth Natasha took over.
“It was a really nice gift.” She said.
“Glad you liked it. I’m gonna call it a night.” I said getting up. Steve looked like he was about to cry and Natasha looked like she wanted to try to hug me and if either of them tried to do that we would be one step closer to having that conversation I was nowhere near ready to have.
“Night.” They said hesitating to say anything.
Once I was in the safety of the elevation.
“Uh…” I groaned. “I totally made things weird didn’t I?”
“Miss?” Jarvis asked confused.
“And now everyone’s going to expect presents.” I said. “It was an impulse buy and technically Tony paid for it since I used the card he gave me. Fuck I really need to figure out what I’m doing here.”
“Miss Marin we’re at your floor.” Jarvis said.
“Oh…” I said. “Good talk.”
I walked to my room slipping off my shoes and hanging up my coat.
Day one didn’t get me any closer to where I wanted to be but it was a good start. I got out of the tower and I was still alive to tell the tale.
Three Days Later…
It was breakfast and for the fourth day in a row Hanna was nowhere to be seen.
“No Hanna again?” Bruce asked.
“The Lady Hanna is evading us yet again.” Thor sounding a bit melancholy.
“Joy riding again.” Clint said. “Does anyone know where she’s going?”
“Let’s see.” Tony said typing away on his phone. “right now she’s in… Queens.”
“Queens?” Steve said in disbelief.
“That’s where the car is.” Tony said. “She’s on the corner of…”
“Nope.” Natasha said taking away his phone.
“Hey!” Tony said.
“You need to stop tracking her every second of every day.” Natasha said.
“It’s not like I’m the only one.” Tony said.
“We don’t stare at a map with a blinking red dot all day.” Natasha said. “Hanna’s getting out of the tower and she seems… better.”
“And the snacks she brings back are great.” Clint said.
“The pretzels of churro were quite good.” Thor said.
“You’ve got to trust her Tony. Hanna’s a lot tougher than you think.” Steve said.
“Because you’re the expert now.” Tony said rolling his eyes.
“You’re just mad because she didn’t bring you a souvenir yet.” Natasha teased.
“That’s… You all got souvenirs?” Tony said.
No one said anything but Natasha was wearing a scarf indoors with a pair of earrings she had been wearing for the last few days. Clint was shooting darts and a vintage wooden dart board that seemed to have come out of nowhere. Steve was sketching in a very old looking journal. Thor seemed to have expanded his palate of snacks and had been playing a lot of Jenga.
“I haven’t gotten anything.” Bruce said before Tony could ask.
“That’s it.” Tony said storming off. “Jarvis time to suit up.”
“Tony.” Steve said going after him.
“We tried it your way.” Tony said walking onto the balcony as the suit flew up from the floor below where the Iron Legion was housed. He jumped in and flew off.
“Think that’ll actually work?” Steve asked.
“Nope.” Clint said. “Twenty they’ll end up fighting again.”
“Twenty she’ll shut herself in her room again.” Natasha said when an idea hit her. Clint immediately knew that look.
“Nat.” Clint said.
“How else are we going to know what to get her for Christmas.” Natasha said going to the elevator. Clint followed after her to make sure she didn’t overdo it.
“Should I follow him?” Thor asked Steve and Bruce.
“Only if you want Hanna to get mad at you too.” Bruce said.
“I’ve been there buddy. It’s not somewhere you want to be.” Steve said patting his arm and he passed by him.
Queens, New York
I spent the morning in silent meditation at a Hindu temple in Queens. That was how I remembered that it didn’t matter what universe I was in, religion was not for me. The four hours of complete silence did nothing for me. In fact I started doing some introspection and it was getting dark.
So I cut the day long vow of silence short and decided to look around. I found a small tea shop that sold beautiful hand-crafted teapots and teas flown in from India. Bruce would probably enjoy some authentic chai. He was the only one in the tower that didn’t drink coffee.
I got him a bag of spiced tea leaves, and a hand painted tea pot with a pair of matching cups.
As I walked out of the shop an alert came up on my phone from Jarvis. I slipped on an earbud to speak to him without making anyone think I was losing it.
“Jarvis?” I said.
“Ma’am, you should know sir has yet again activated the tracker in the car.” Jarvis said.
“Ten times before noon. That’s a new record.” I said.
“You should also know that sir has equipped a suit and is on his way to you now.” Jarvis said making me freeze.
“Seriously? Uh… That’s it.” I said. “Jarvis it’s time to make a break for it.”
“Are you suggesting I activate the ‘Grand Theft Auto’ protocol?” Jarvis said.
“More like asking you pretty pretty pretty please with a cherry on top.” I said sarcastically. “Set the autopilot to drive the car to Buffalo or as far as you can get it.”
“Sir’s suit can go as fast as Mach 2.” Jarvis said. “He should discover your ruse rather quickly.”
“Want to bet on it?” I teased Jarvis as the car started and drove off without me.
“Shall I call a car service for you Miss?” Jarvis asked.
“No… I think it might be time I give public transportation another chance.” I said making my way towards the subway. I made it five steps before Jarvis interrupted me.
“Miss I believe you’ll find the subway entrance in the opposite direction.” Jarvis said.
“I knew that.” I said turning around and making my way to the subway.
While not as comfortable or as luxurious as a top of the line sports car, the New York subway was a lot better than it was in my world. I survived the ride without needing a haircut afterwards or any rats walking over my feet.
I had to walk a few blocks as the closest subway stop was a bit far off but also not so bad. I saw the same elderly homeless woman I had seen every morning sitting on the street shivering. The weather was taking a turn and her clothes didn’t seem like they were doing much to keep her warm.
I had done some shopping along the way back and had purchased a blanket to try and work on making my room a bit less minimalistic. The only thing I could decide on was a thick wool blue blanket. I slipped it out of the bag and carefully slipped it around the woman who jumped up surprised.
“It feels like it’s going to snow any minute now.” I said before slipping her a few bills into her hand. “Grab something warm to eat.”
“T-thank you.” The woman said looking like she was about to cry.
“Take care.” I said giving her a reassuring smile and patting her shoulder before I went the rest of the way. Tony had apparently taken the bait and was still flying after the car, following it at a distance.
I wasn't expecting to be back so early in the day. I also wasn't expecting it to take this long to figure out a plan for the foreseeable future. All I had done was waste time.
“To the lab please. I do have access right?” I asked Jarvis said.
“Sir has granted you access to all areas of the tower.” Jarvis said.
“Great. I’ll drop this off for Bruce before I go back to brainstorming.” I answered stepping into the elevator. “Perhaps the answer to what troubles you does not lie in a place but rather closer to home.”
“You think going home is going to give me solve my quarter life crisis?” I said. “I don’t know if I've said this before but my universe sucks. Like a lot.”
“That was not the home I was referring to Miss.” Jarvis said.
“I’m not ready to unpack that.” I said as the elevator doors opened. Tony had done some remodeling since the last time I was down here. There wasn’t as much glass possibly as a fail-safe in case we had a surprise code green.
I made my way around the lab avoiding some of the cables and even a couple of random suit parts that were scattered around to get to Bruce’s desk. I cleared off his desk and set the box down.
"Hey." Bruce greeted making me jump.
"Ah! you guys have really got to start making more noise when you walk into a room." I said.
“Sorry, Professional Hazard.” Bruce said.
“Right.” I said. “Well, I got you a souvenir. It's on your desk. Let me know if you like the chai. The shop can set up deliveries.”
“Thanks.” He said.
We both stood there awkwardly for a moment.
“I’ll see you at dinner.” I said feeling like I had possibly overstepped. I only took five steps before Bruce stopped me.
“H-Hanna?” Bruce said making me turn around to look at him. “I know you’ve been dealing with a lot since you got back but uh… are you okay?”
“Uh… I’m not entirely sure.” I said finally admitting it out loud.
“Do you want to talk about it?” Bruce offered.
“It’s kind of long, complicated and… just a lot.” I said. “You’re probably really busy.”
“I can make time.” He said giving me a small reassuring smile. “It’ll give me a chance to try out the tea pot.”
“Can’t say no to that.” I said going to take a seat.
“So?” Bruce asked.
“Guess I should probably start at the beginning…” I said.
Meanwhile – a couple of floor above
Natasha and Clint walked onto Hanna’s floor not expecting anything which was exactly what they found. They found nothing. The layout of all the floors and apartments in the tower were exactly the same with the exception of Tony’s penthouse.
Overtime everyone had let Jarvis know if they required anything else to make them more comfortable and even to personalize them as needed.
Hanna’s floor was completely devoid of any personality. There was no décor. No wall art…
“Well this is…” Clint said not being able to find the word for what he was seeing or not seeing.
“Pretty bare.” Natasha said. “Her room in Malibu was like this.”
“She didn’t have a lot of things.” Clint said running his fingers along the table to see if there was any dust anywhere but the room was immaculately clean.
“Hanna spends most of her time in here and it doesn’t even look like she’s even been here.” Natasha said.
“Maybe she’s a neat freak.” Clint said.
“You’re not helping.” She said.
“I don’t know what you were expecting to find.” He said.
“No clothes thrown anywhere, no shoes kicked off anywhere…” Natasha said. “Bed perfectly made… she even tucked in the corners.”
As Natasha moved about the room Clint noticed something tucked into the edge of the bed. While his partner looked through Hanna’s closet Clint picked up the journal and skimmed through the notes not understanding them at all as most of them were crossed out.
-Chef
-Biologist
Marine Biologist – Free Willy – Blackfish
-Pharmacology – Opioids - Big Pharma bad!
Clint closed the journal and put it back in its place.
“This isn’t good.” Natasha said.
“She’s not a decorator Nat. It’s not a crime.” Clint said.
“Does this look like the room of someone that wants to stick around?” Natasha said.
“Nat it’s just a room.” Clint said. “She’s not messy, hasn’t decorated yet, it doesn’t mean anything. Don’t over think it.”
Hours Later - Downstairs
Bruce was a great listener and once I started unloading, it all just came pouring out.
“There are people that are not meant to be parents. But he… he was not one of them and in his eyes I could never do anything right. I once got yelled at because I didn’t put butter on my toast the right way. That was the last time I put butter on my toast. What the hell is even the right way to butter toast?” I unloaded.
“I can never do anything right. I can’t even die right and that’s not to say I’m going there because I meant it when I said that it is your job to use all seven of your Ph.D’s and all of your genius brain cells to keep my heart beating till the end of time because I refuse to die. I chose to come back and I decided to start over here because for some reason this is where I’m meant to be but now I’m here and what am I supposed to do? I am surrounded and bound to people who do amazing things all the damn time, who are the best of the best at what they do… and I’m just me. There’s no place in the world for me and there is no reason for me to be here and to even get out of bed in the morning. I’m just here and everything just seems hopeless. If this is all there is for me and this is what it’s going to be for the rest of my life then what is the point of…”
“Zzzz.” Bruce snored rather loudly making me realize he wasn't even listening to me.
“Bruce?” I said and he snored yet again. “You’ve got to be kidding me.”
I gently put my tea cup down and slipped Bruce’s cup out of his hand before gently kicking his foot.
“Oh!” Bruce said jumping awake.
“Have a nice nap?” I said.
“I was…. I was listening I just… There’s a reason I’m not that kind of doctor.” He said apologetically.
“Yeah, I know. It’s fine. I should probably… What the hell is that?” I said spotting a desk with piles or I should say mountains of paperwork and binders and who knows what else piled on.
“Oh Yeah… Tony doesn’t want to hire an assistant and he’s a bit behind on things.” Bruce said.
“A bit? This is from 2010.” I said picking up a folder only for that to make the mountain it was on top of fall to the floor. “Woah!”
“Pepper’s been asking Tony to hire someone but he…” Bruce said.
“He’s Tony.” I said opening. “Who approved the research budget if he didn’t sign these?”
“Sir charged it to his personal accounts.” Jarvis said.
“He charged the Stark Industries Research Budget to his AMEX?” I asked. “How did this not come up in an audit?”
“I believe that is explained in the binder miss.” Jarvis said.
“Which one?” I asked counting at least twenty of them. “Wait, don’t answer that. It’s none of my business, I probably don’t even have clearance for it and I always take on other people’s responsibility and make it my own and I am not going back to that unhealthy cycle. I’ll see you at dinner.”
“Okay.” Bruce said slightly confused and feeling as I he had missed something important.
I was in the elevator and the doors closed. The elevator moved up a few floors and just as the doors were about to open on my floor I stopped the elevator.
“Jarvis take me back down.” I said.
“Right away Ma’am.” Jarvis said.
“Oh and uh make the car zig zag a bit where ever it is. That would totally freak out Tony.” I said.
“I will ensure the car zigs and zags once the opportunity presents itself miss.” Jarvis said as the doors opened again.
“Hanna?” Bruce said surprised.
“Who am I kidding? This is going to keep me up at night.” I said going straight to the mountain of paperwork and jumping right in to start sorting it.
“You really don’t…” He started.
“I really do. This is going to trigger my insomnia and once that starts everything gets messy. Well more than it already is.” I said. “And you’re not going to say a word about this to Tony.”
“I don’t think he’d be mad.” Bruce said.
“No but he would make a huge deal about nothing so you are saying absolutely nothing or else I’m going to bring up your undiagnosed narcolepsy.” I said picking up a binder.
“I think I have bigger problems than me falling asleep everywhere.” Bruce said.
“Turning into the big guy is better than dying and falling into alternate universes.” I said as I started flipping through some pages. “Besides the ringer that helps save the day on a regular basis can’t be all bad.”
Dinner that Night…
By the time Jarvis all but kicked me out of the lab by turning off all the lights so I wouldn’t be able to keep reading. I made good headway on the mountain. I got through a quarter and a half of 2010.
When I walked into the common room dinner was all set up.
“Smells great in here.” I said.
“Hanna! You’re here…” Steve said looking confused.
“Am I not supposed to be here?” I asked.
“Of course not!” Thor said picking me up in a bear hug and spinning me around. “You have been missed.”
“I keep forgetting you’re a hugger.” I said awkwardly patting Thor’s arm as he finally set me down.
“When did you get in?” Clint asked.
“Around noonish I think.” I said.
“Noonish?” Natasha said as everyone exchanged looks.
“Jarvis didn’t say anything.” Steve said.
“You missed us trying to teach Steve how to play MarioKart.” Clint said. “He’s actually really good.”
“Yeah… No need to thank me.” I said to Steve who smirked.
“Wait… you already knew how to play?” Clint said.
“We had time to kill in Hanna’s universe.” Steve said.
“So you… you lied.” Clint said.
“Aww you did learn something in my universe.” I said patting Steve’s shoulder.
“Anyone know where Tony is?” Natasha asked getting back to the subject at hand.
“I have not seen man of Iron since he flew off to follow…” Thor said before someone, probably Natasha kicked his foot under the table.
“To follow me because he got tired of tracking me?” I retorted.
“You knew?” Steve said.
“It was pretty obvious. Tony installed Jarvis in all of his cars.” I said.
“Then where is he?” Bruce asked.
“Well after the 27th time he checked on my location just this morning and he decided to start following me I decided to activate the autopilot in his car and sent it to Buffalo.” I said.
“You sent him to Buffalo?” Clint said laughing.
“You guys shouldn’t have been tracking me.” I said.
“You left without saying anything.” Steve said.
“You guys leave without saying anything all the time.” I retorted.
At that moment we all heard the very familiar sound of repulsor jets whirl past as Tony landed on the balcony and disassembled his suit.
“Hey you.” Tony said
“Hi. You finally got out of the lab. What brought this on?” I asked.
“Oh no reason… It was a nice day out.” He said.
“I thought it was snowing in Buffalo?” I retorted.
“Buff… Oh…Oh very funny Hanna.” Tony said offended.
“There’s nothing funny about stalking Tony.” I said.
“I wasn't stalking you.” Tony said.
“You activated the tracker in your car and have been watching me all week.” I said. “You activated it 27 times before noon today then you followed the car around all day.”
“I didn’t follow you.” Tony said.
“That’s right, I wasn't in the car you followed all the way to Buffalo.” I said.
“What did you expect? You sneak in and out of here everyday without saying where you’re going, what you’re doing…” he started.
“Since when am I your prisoner? I don’t have to tell you what I’m doing or where I am every second of every day…” I started.
“You don’t tell us anything!” Tony retorted.
“Because you never listen!” I shouted back.
“I’ve been waiting for you to talk for weeks!” Tony shouted.
“We’ve talked but you’re just not listening!” I shouted back.
“I said I was sorry about Miss March! Nothing even happened!” he said.
“I wasn't talking about Miss March!” I shouted.
“You’ve been mad at me since you saw it on my calendar…” Tony continued ranting.
“Oh typical… every word I say just goes in one ear and right out the other!” I said.
“I’m trying to fix things but no matter what I do you’re still…” he continued.
“I’m sorry I don’t think the world is all sunshine and unicorns crapping out rainbows!” I said. “But I’m still trying so give me a fucking break already!”
“You call this trying?!” Tony said and for some reason that was the straw that broke the camel’s back.
“I….” I started realizing that at that moment it was really tempting to jump off the balcony just to get some space to think and maybe go see if my best friend and nephew would take the pathetic sorry self back but dying is not something I really wanted to do ever again. Plus I sincerely doubt I’d make it that far with everyone here.
“I have to go.” I said getting up and getting in the elevator. “Get me out of here.”
“Your room Miss?” Jarvis said.
“Lobby.” I said. “I need to take a walk. A very… very long walk.”
Meanwhile Back Upstairs…
“Nice going.” Natasha said.
“You may have just driven Hanna further away.” Thor growled as the sky outside rumbled.
“What was I supposed to do? We’ve been waiting for weeks and months and… I just wanted things to get back to how they were.” Tony said.
“And you thought yelling would fix things?” Steve said.
“Just because you spent a year in her world does not mean you know her better than all of us!” Tony said.
“It kind of does…” Clint said. “But you two fight like an old married couple.”
Natasha nodded in agreement.
“She is trying Tony. IN her own way.” Bruce said. “I was going to bring it up when we had a chance but I talked to her today…”
“About?” Natasha asked.
“A lot of things.” Bruce said. “Tea… Tea vs coffee.”
“Not seeing how this helps at all.” Tony said.
“Did she say anything about… anything else?” Natasha asked.
“She did… but I… drifted off a bit.” Bruce admitted sheepishly.
“You fell asleep again?” Tony deadpanned.
“You fell asleep while Hanna was opening her heart to you?” Thor said as the thunder outside got louder.
“I don’t think she was going there…” Clint said.
“Do you remember anything?” Natasha asked.
“She was kind of all over the place.” Bruce said. “She started talking about toast at one point.”
“Hanna was making a toast?” Thor said.
“No she was talking about making toast. The bread kind.” Bruce asked.
“Okay Jarvis bring up the video of the lab.” Tony said typing on his phone.
“I am unable to do so sir.” Jarvis said.
“Why not?” Tony asked.
“The video has been deleted.” Jarvis said.
“By who?” Steve said.
“Miss Marin Captain.” Jarvis said. “She did not wish for anyone to eavesdrop on a private conversation.”
“You sure she wasn't a spy in her universe?” Clint asked Steve.
A Couple of Blocks Away…
One thing I didn’t account for when I stormed off on a walk to clear my head what how freaking cold it got at night. New York in December… I should have worn a freaking parka.
Still risking hypothermia and frostbite seemed better than heading back right away.
So I started walking and just kept going with nowhere really in mind or paying any attention to where I was going.
Eventually I ended up on the waterfront by the East River. It wasn't the white noise machine the beaches in California were like, the city was too noisy but at least I felt a little closer to home.
I could almost imagine Theo sitting down on a beach somewhere back in our world, probably venting about Jamie or the PTA moms.
“You know you got the easy side of this deal.” I said imagining Theo was next to me. “Jamie is a cake walk to deal with compared to those six… and me.”
“I know what you’re going to say I don’t know why you’re complaining… You have six gorgeous superheroes waiting for you in that fancy tower what do you have to complain about? Oh buddy it’s me, It’s always me… I’m the fucking problem and I’m always the problem. I can own that. But I’m trying… I really am and it’s not good enough.”
“I considered going home but I can’t do that to you and Jamie. He is a clean slate and you’re his second chance. My baggage and well me… I’d just make a mess again.”
“This could have been my second chance. I never fit in back home and I thought I fell here because this is where I was always meant to be. Maybe the fact is that I fell here and I keep falling into other universes because I don’t belong anywhere. There is no place for me here or anywhere in any world.”
“You’d call me an idiot if I told you how tempted I was to jump off that balcony to see where I ended up. Actually you’d call me an idiot for doing it the first time and every time after that. It wouldn’t have solved anything but I miss you guys. I guess I’m lonely. It’s impossible for me to ever be alone here but I still feel alone.” I said as it started snowing.
“And now it’s fucking snowing. You know the movies make a white Christmas seem all fun and pretty but what they don’t tell you is that no matter how many layers you but on you’ll always be cold.”
“Why couldn’t it rain? I love rain with some thunder. You’re probably having a way better time than I am. Christmas in LA. Late night hot chocolate with Jamie and arguing about whether or not the Nightmare before Christmas is really a Christmas movie and dive bar Christmas morning. One day Jamie is going to tell his therapist all about that.” I said rubbing my hands together.
“I’m going to give it a few more hours before heading back, sneak in while everyone’s asleep.” I said. “Maybe avoid Tony for a while and by a while I mean until the end of time or until he forgets… I think there may be some ADD going on there.”
“It’s the city that never sleeps, let’s see what’s open this late.” I said getting up.
Turns out there was a lot open late in New York. Once I got some coffee, I found a bar that was also an arcade. Once I broke the one-hundred-dollar bill in my jacket pocket, I had more than enough quarters to keep me busy.
A few hours of Street Fighter, Space Invader and Tetris helped keep me distracted for a while.
It was another hours walking in the snow when I finally made it to the tower. It was dark and everyone was asleep so I had no chance of running into anyone.
All I wanted was to get under the covers and forget about everything for a few hours. What I was not expecting was for me to throw myself into what I thought was going to be an empty bed only to land on someone who then flipped me over to the floor and pressed a knife to my throat.
“AHH!” I shouted.
“Hanna?” Natasha said before the light turned off.
“Natasha what the fuck?!” I said trying to push her off of me.
“I’m…” she started.
“Get out!” I shouted.
“It was a reflex…” She said.
“Out!” I shouted again. She all but ran out.
I gasped trying to catch my breath rubbing my neck.
“Miss Marin do you require assistance?” Jarvis asked.
“No!” I shouted. “Stop letting people into my room and mute yourself until further notice.”
There was no answer only a soft ding signaling he was doing as he was told. I fell back onto the floor with a groan as I felt the spot where Natasha had kicked me. There was going to be a bruise tomorrow… It hurt to move so instead I just pulled off the covers onto the floor over me and called it a night.
The Following Morning…
Things in the tower were tense after the argument the night before. Natasha hadn’t left saying she had things to do but no one knew if that was a mission or something personal.
“Does anyone know if Hanna made it back last night?” Steve asked.
“Even if she did she’s probably out again.” Tony said.
“Jarvis?” Bruce asked.
“Miss Marin is currently in her room.” Jarvis said.
“At what time did she get back?” Clint asked.
“Miss Marin entered her quarters at approximately 2:37AM.” Jarvis answered.
“Barhopping again?” Tony said.
“She did not appear to be under duress or under the influence of alcohol or any other substances.” Jarvis answered.
“Well that’s something.” Clint said. “Should one of us check on her?”
“I think she was very clear when she said she wanted to be alone.” Bruce said.
“She must still break her fast.” Thor suggested.
“Knock yourself out Point Break.” Tony said.
“Miss Marin has forbidden anyone from entering her quarters.” Jarvis said.
“Of course she did.” Tony said getting up. “I have a meeting.”
“Tony.” Steve started but he was ignored. Bruce meanwhile drank he tea and stared at the piece of buttered toast on his plate still trying to figure out how it would have come up in
Back downstairs…
I woke feeling sore and annoyed at how bright everything was. Sleeping on the floor did nothing to help with the soreness so I dragged myself off the floor and into the shower for a very long hot steam shower. It wasn't until my fingers started to get wrinkled like prunes that I got out of the shower.
There was no way I was going out in the snow again, but I was not willing to go up to the common room. I had a whole day to kill.
“Jarvis.” I called out.
“Are we speaking again miss?” Jarvis asked.
“Don’t start. We’re like a year and a half too early for you to start taking about your feelings.” I said. “Is that mountain of paperwork still in the lab?”
“The pile has not moved but may have in fact grown since you have last seen it.” Jarvis said.
“Of course it did.” I said. “Is there any way you could have some of that pile brought up here without anyone noticing.”
“Arrangements can be made.” Jarvis said. “When would you like them?”
“I’d say now. And if you could have coffee and breakfast delivered with it that’d be nice.” I said.
“Yes Miss.” He said.
True to his word within the hour I had half a dozen interns at my door waiting to bring in all the files and breakfast for me. It took over half my living room.
“Any suggestions on where to start?” I asked Jarvis.
“The beginning is always a good place to start.” He suggested.
“Is this payback for last night?” I retorted. “I was expecting to get mugged at some point on the streets of New York what I wasn't expecting was to get kicked out of my own bed and have a knife pressed to my throat. I think I’ve earned the right to be a bit mad don’t you think?”
“The more recent files in the green boxes are not past their deadlines just yet.” Jarvis said.
“Working our way back then. That makes sense. If they haven’t gotten them back already then they probably found a work around or it’s not that urgent.” I said picking up a green box and placing it on the table so I could start working on it.
Meanwhile Across the Country…
When Tony had told everyone that he had a meeting, he meant it. He just hadn’t mentioned that his meeting was with his old therapist across the country.
“Tony, this is a surprise.” John said.
“Yeah…” Tony said.
“It’s been a rough year for you.” He said.
“That’s one word for it.” Tony said.
“So what brings you in today?” John asked.
“You’re probably not going to be surprised by this but I got in a fight with Hanna.” Tony admitted. “And it was not my fault.”
“Then why are you here?” John asked.
“Because maybe it was my fault.” He said. “I don’t know. Before everything we were making progress. We were getting… close I think and since she came back and since she saw Miss March on my calendar…”
“Miss March?” John asked.
“Nothing happened!” Tony said defensively.
“Alright maybe you should start at the beginning.” John said.
Tony took a deep breath and filled him in on everything.
“And then yesterday I decided enough was enough and I went to confront her.” Tony said.
“After tracking her for a week.” John said.
“I was just making sure she was okay. New York is a lot for someone that’s never been there.” Tony said.
“Tony, Hanna doesn’t seem like she’s a helpless child. I think she can take public transportation on her own.” John said. “After what happened last year it would make sense if your had some… separation anxiety or exacerbated your pre-existing PTSD?”
“She died.” Tony said.
“And came back which is a miracle in itself. It doesn’t change the fact that you and the others constantly hovering and almost obsessively monitoring her the way you were is not the healthiest coping mechanism.” John said.
“What else are we supposed to do she’s avoiding us.” Tony said.
“Actually she may not be. From what you said she has been trying. She has dinner with you all every night. When she comes back from her outings there is always a gift for some of you. She came back and always comes back. That doesn’t sound like someone that isn’t trying, she’s just trying to figure things out which is all any of us are trying to do with our lives.” John said.
“So she trying by tricking me into flying all the way to Buffalo?” Tony said.
“Honestly Tony, her adventures out in the city alone and the random road trips… it sounds like she’s looking for something.” John asked.
“For what?” Tony asked.
“Maybe instead of tracking her you could just ask Hanna?” John suggested.
“Does it look like she’s actually tell me?” Tony said.
“She talked to Bruce.” John said.
“About toast…” Tony scoffed.
“What do you have to lose?” John retorted.
One Week later….
I spent the first day after I got all the files into my apartment and red them all. One of the few perks of a photographic memory. From there I got organized with spreadsheets, filled out reports and learned to fake Tony’s signature.
Once I did that it all came down to hunting down whatever Stark Industries employee it needed to go to for it to get filed and squared away.
I could not remember the last time I had to talk to so many people. My people skills, because apparently I had people skills came in handy. I got to know some people on different floors from IT, to research, legal, accounting, and also Tony’s foundation board.
There were a lot of things to smooth over and there were a lot of strings to pull once I got acquainted with the key players.
Throughout all of this I hadn’t seen a single one of them. I kind of missed them but I had to say being busy… actually doing something, it felt great. I wonder what that meant?
Meanwhile…
Elsewhere in New York Tony was having his biweekly meeting with his ex-girlfriend/ CEO Pepper. Mostly the lunch consisted of Tony ignoring Pepper while Pepper tried to nag him into taking responsibility.
He was expecting the exact same lecture btu was surprised when he purposely showed up late and instead of getting the death glare she always gave him when he was late she was… happy.
“Sorry I’m late, someone moved my seat in the care and couldn’t get it just right where it was.” He said greeting her with a hug and kiss on the cheek.
“It’s fine, it gave me time to answer a few emails.” Pepper said cheerfully.
“You’re in a really good mood.” Tony accusingly. “Why?”
“No reason.” Pepper said still smiling.
“The smiling is starting to get creepy.” Tony said. “Are you okay? Are you seeing things? Smelling toast, you know it’s the first sign of the stroke.”
“I’m not having a stroke.” Pepper said.
“You sure?” Tony asked.
“Very sure.” Pepper said. “I just want to say thank you for everything.”
“You opened your Christmas Present early didn’t you?” Tony said.
“No, but thank you for that too.” She said. “I’m just so happy you finally started doing your work.” Pepper said.
“I’m always working.” Tony said.
“I know you hate paperwork and the meetings and just answering emails but that is the best Christmas present you’ve ever gotten me.” Pepper said.
“Uh… Pep I didn’t answer any emails.” Tony said.
“Fine Jarvis did it for you but you signing the contracts and the R&D budgets…” She continued.
“That was not exactly me.” Tony was about to admit it when he realized something.
“You didn’t… Did you finally hire an assistant?” Pepper said. “That’s long overdue.”
“I…” Tony started but then he looked at her and Pepper was not yelling at him. While he probably had a huge security issue, if the person that took those classified files took them to do his paperwork for him then… was that really a problem that needed to be solved? “I sure did.”
“That’s… that’s a relief. The board has been on my case and if you haven’t noticed you were extremely behind. Finance was not happy about you using your Amex and reimbursement form for the entire budget last year.’ Pepper said.
“I thought they’d be happy I didn’t break the budget.” He said.
After lunch he drove back to the tower and marched into the lab.
“Hey how was lunch?” Bruce said from his workstation.
“Something’s different in here.” Tony said.
“What?” Bruce asked confused as Tony started walking around the lab trying to find what was different.
“Did you move the tables?” He asked looking at the floor.
“They’re exactly where they’ve always been.” Bruce said.
“There’s more room.” Tony said.
“That’s probably because you had the mountain of paperwork moved.” Bruce said.
“You saw who took it?” Tony asked.
“I saw some interns boxing them up.” He said. “I thought you told them to move it all into storage.”
“I didn’t even know it was gone until Pepper started thanking me for doing my work.” He said.
“Someone took your paperwork to do your work for you?” Bruce asked in disbelief.
“Apparently.” Tony said. “Jarvis where’s my paperwork?”
“Your long overdue paperwork has been completed and filed away sir.” Jarvis answered.
“That’s a non-answer if I've ever heard one.” Bruce said.
“Jarvis who asked you to have the files moved?” Tony asked.
“I am unable to answer that question.” Jarvis said.
“Why?” Tony asked.
“Due to privacy protocols I am unable to answer that question.” Jarvis said.
“That narrows it down to anyone with user access.” Tony said. “Alright bring up the video feeds. Show me when the files were moved and follow them.”
Jarvis brought up the feed showing the interns boxing the files up and loading them onto multiple carts. Then one left and came back later holding coffee and a to go bag from a bistro down the street. Once they were done they got on the elevator and then got out.
“What floor did they got off on?” Bruce asked.
“88th floor.” Tony said already walking to the elevator. “Hanna’s floor.”
“Tony.” Bruce said knowing exactly where he was going.
“I’m just going to ask. Nicely.” Tony said.
A Couple of Floors Up…
It was late enough in the day that almost everyone should be either training, working out or just not on the common floor.
Thor did happen to be up here but I didn’t mind Thor. He was great, like a ray of sunshine. I was making myself a cup of coffee to warm me up after having to run across town to grab donuts from a very specific place the guys down in legal on behalf of ‘the boss’, wait an hour in line in the snow run back, use said donuts to bribe the guys in legal into working a full day instead of the half day they were planning on working to make the changes in the contracts ‘Tony’ was going to sign for the new R&D projects starting in the new year.
Thor was telling me about something funny Clint did while they were training when the elevator dinged and Tony walked into the kitchen.
“There you are.” Tony said.
“Where else would I be?” I retorted sipping my coffee.
“I had lunch with Pepper today.” He said.
“That’s nice.” I said.
“How is Lady Pepper?” Thor asked.
“She’s great. Loves being the boss.” Tony said. “Funny thing though she was really happy that I finally got through the mountain of paperwork on my desk downstairs.”
“Nice job.” I said.
“Funny thing is I haven’t done my paperwork. I haven’t even looked at it and the paperwork was moved by someone to the 88th floor.” Tony said.
“Really. That’s weird.” I said.
“Very weird because who would steal classified files to do my work for me?” Tony said.
“The elf on the shelf is pretty sneaky.” I said.
“That’s the excuse you’re going with?” He said.
“No idea what you’re talking about.” I said.
“Hanna, why did you take the work and do it for me?” Tony asked.
“Because someone had to.” I said. “Merry Christmas.”
“You did 3 years worth of paperwork.” Tony said.
“It was there, it wasn't going anywhere and it was a safety hazard.” I said. “Also I was bored. I had to kill time somehow.”
“And that’s what you’ve been going out to do this whole time?” he said.
“Not really.” I said and he just started at me waiting for me to elaborate.
“I’m just going to say it. What is going on with you?” He said. “No one word answers or brush offs just tell me so I can fix it already.”
“It’s not really something you fix.” I said.
“Then we’ll figure it out or you can yell at me again just tell me. Please tell me.” Tony said looking kind of desperate.
“I’m having a quarter life crisis.” I blurted out.
“What?” Tony asked confused.
“Right… you guys won’t get that term for at least another 5 years.” I said. “I’m trying to figure out what it is I’m supposed to be doing with my life. I died and came back more times than should be possible, I gave up my best friend and my kid and even if it wasn't something I could brag about I gave up my world because this is where I’m meant to be and I was okay with that but I don’t know exactly where my place is supposed to be in all of this. And the more I keep looking and keep trying to find something or anything to hang onto it’s become pretty obvious that as much as I never fit in my world, I don’t really fit here either. That’s what I've been looking for this whole time and all I found were a bunch of dead ends. I feel hopeless and like a lost cause at this point because if this is all there is and this is what I have to look forward to for the rest of my life then what was the point of coming back?”
“Uh…” Tony said trying to watch his words very carefully. “That’s…”
“Don’t…” I started.
“I’m just…” He started.
“You’re going to say something trying to be nice but it’s going to come out the wrong way or it’s going to be a bunch of platitudes and I just spent the week trying to recreate my own Eat, Prey, Love only to not figure out anything and…” I started but then Tony started laughing. “You’re laughing… that’s great. Glad my existential crisis is funny for someone.”
“I’m sorry its just.. Don’t you think you’re being a bit dramatic?” Tony said.
“I’m surrounded by people who constantly save the world, who have more than 7 Ph.D’s in some field that sound kind of made up but aren’t, A guy from the 40’s that generations of kids grew up wanting to be, a billionaire who is just good at everything without even trying, a guy that could knock someone out by flicking a coin, the superspy that could probably murder someone with just her pinky… Oh and a literal god.” I said. “The universe really botched this one because I don’t belong here and you guys don’t need me.”
“That is not true.” Thor said.
“You’re over 1500 years old, you were kicking frost giant butt long before I even showed up and you’ll be kicking butt way after I’m gone.” I said.
“Hanna, Honey.” Tony said putting his hands on my shoulders to make me look at him. “If there is anything we’ve learned in the last year it’s that we don’t do well when you’re not around.”
“That’s not…” I said.
“Barton turned into a hermit, Thor almost flooded New Mexico, Bruce moved to Mexico, you don’t even want to know about Romanoff and I reverted back to being a douche because according to my therapist it’s an unhealthy coping mechanism I use to numb the pain.” Tony said. Wait did he just say…
“You’re a mess, so are we. Together we make it work but we only make it work when we have you because you’re the glue that holds this team together.” Tony said. “We need you, we fall apart if we don’t have you.”
“I don’t do anything.” I said.
“You did 3 years worth of paperwork in a week, Thor plays Mario Kart, Bruce comes out of the lab, Barton isn’t a hermit and Romanoff… I haven’t seen her in a while but that might because she’s at work.” Tony said. “And more importantly you make Cap just the slightest bit less insufferable to be around.”
“That might be the nicest thing you’ve ever said about him.” I said. “You went back to therapy?”
“Flew to California for the appointment.” He said.
“You went to therapy willingly.” I said putting my hands on his arms.
“I may have some things to work on.” Tony said.
“You do listen.” I said surprising Tony and my myself by hugging him.
“You’re hugging me. You’re hugging me! Someone take a picture.” Tony said before I slapped his back signaling at him to stop being a jerk.
“You know I might have an idea to solve your… Quarter life crisis.” He said as I started pulling away. “It’s not really a solution but more of a job offer. Pepper’s been nagging me to hire a PA to help me stay on top of things and sort out all the admin stuff for the team.”
“Am I even qualified for that?” I asked.
“You’ve been doing it all week. Pepper called you the best assistant I've ever had.” He said. “Coming from her that says a lot.”
“I don’t want to be a nepotism hire.” I said.
“It’s not nepotism if you’re actually qualified and good at the job.” Tony retorted before passing me his phone. “Here’s the contract.”
“It shouldn’t just be up to… Oh wow… That’s how much you pay your assistants?” I said looking at all the zeros. No wonder Pepper had stuck around for so long.
“This wouldn’t include your bonuses or expense account…” He started.
“There’s more than this?” I asked.
“Just look through the contract…” Tony started.
“Done.” I said skimming through it all. “Don’t I have to interview and… I don’t know get a background checks?”
“There is no one more qualified than you. Take the job.” He said. “And if spending more time with your favorite person is not enough…”
“I don’t have a favorite person.” I said.
“Then do it for Pepper. You have no idea how happy you’ve made her this week.” He said.
“I have conditions.” I said. “And there has to be a clear separation of work and the s-word thing.”
“Whatever you want, I’ll make it work.” Tony said.
“And no more tracking.” I said.
“If you’re going to be my assistant I need to know where you are.” He said.
“Or you could just send a text.” I suggested.
“Eeeeh… That’s a tough one.” Tony said. “How about a work around?”
“You cannot keep staring at a red dot on a map because I’m not in the same room as you.” I said.
“I’ll work on ideas but are you taking the job?” He asked.
“Boundaries.” I reminded him.
“No lines will be crossed without permission from both parties.” Tony said practically jumping where he was standing.
“No more stalking.” I said.
“Hanna…” Tony whined holding up his phone for me to sign the e-contract. I tapped on the screen to scribble my name on the contract.
“I look forward to working with you Mister Stark.” I said holding out a hand to shake.
“I’ll see you first thing Monday.” Tony said pulling me into another hug. “It’s 5:01.”
I laughed but returned the hug.
“Hey what’s for…” Clint started and they all stopped when they saw us hugging in the kitchen.
“What’d we miss?” Steve asked as he Clint, Natasha and Bruce walked in.
“What is a personal assistant?” Thor asked confused.