Chapter 38
Though Tony may have streamlined the hiring process, I had still a lot of paperwork to do. Even if HR still hadn’t sent it to me, I figured I could save myself some time by getting a head start and have it waiting on their desk for them.
It had also been a few days since I had seen Natasha… you know since she had kicked me off my bed and almost slit my throat. Our resident snitch, also known as Jarvis, had let me know that she had gotten back from a mission days ago and was just being sneaky.
There was only one way to put the matter to rest.
Once Jarvis alerted me that she was in the gym I knew that was my chance. I put my barista experience to make Natasha a matcha latte with black widow foam drawing. I even used a tiny bit of strawberry powder to add some red.
“You know how to do latte art?” Clint said popping out of nowhere.
“Jeez!” I said as I almost dropped the latte. “You guys have got to start making more noise when you walk into rooms.”
“I didn’t actually walk in.” He said.
“I need to make sure those vents are reinforced.” I said adding it to my to-do list.
“That’s for Nat?” Clint asked.
“Does it not look like an hourglass?” I asked.
“No it looks good.” He said. “What other things can you do?”
“Clint would you like a latte?” I offered.
“Can I get it with an extra shot?” He asked.
“Of course.” I said starting up the machine again as the coffee brewed I got started on frothing the milk. “How many sugars?”
“Black is fine.” Clint said. “You’re up early.”
“I went to bed early, woke up early.” I said. “What about you? No missions with Nat?”
“I’m still on standby.” He said.
“So you’re starting to go a bit stir crazy.” I said reading between the lines.
“No I’m just conditioning, building back muscle.” He said.
“Avoiding the mental health evaluation with the SHIELD assigned shrink?” I said guessing where this was going.
“I really don’t see the point.” Clint said.
“Considering SHIELD is Hydra, I agree with you.” I said. “That being said talking to another therapist or someone you trust wouldn’t be the worst idea.”
“I’m fine.” Clint said.
“I know you are but a second opinion so you can say I told you so, might not be the worst idea.” I said as I started pouring the frothed milk into the coffee “And if that person just so happens to have a couple of Ph.D.’s, medical training and is authorized to sign off any paperwork…”
“Are you talking about Bruce?” Clint asked.
“Of course not, Bruce isn’t that kind of doctor. He falls asleep 20 minutes into your vent session and completely misses the point but he’s a great listener.” I answered sarcastically before putting his latte down in front of him. I considered making a bird or a swan but figured if the theme of the day was call signs a simple arrow would do.
“Nice.” He said with a grin before he sipped his coffee. “Mhmm.”
“Talk to him.” I said. “And you get extra brownie points if you get him out of the lab for a bit.”
“I’ll think about it.” Clint said.
“I’m taking that as a yes.” I said before walking out and made my way to the gym.“ Clint was upstairs, Tony worked out in his own private gym no one knew about, or so he thought, Bruce was in the lab and Steve was out on his cool down run.
Which meant this was my opening.
Natasha was doing some cardio on a treadmill. She saw me through the gym mirrors and immediately shut off the machine to make a break for it.
“Hey.” I said.
“Hey.” She said.
“I brought you a matcha latte.” I said setting it down on the treadmill. “That’s your usual after workout pre breakfast drink.”
“Thanks.” She said picking it up and seeing the latte art. “Cute.”
We both stood there awkwardly…
“I…” We both finally said.
“I shouldn’t have attacked you. It’s a reflex.” She said.
“You actually shouldn’t have been in my room but… let’s just agree to not do it again and move on.” I said.
“Okay.” She said. “Is Steve making breakfast?”
“Probably but… I actually kind of need your help.” I said.
“Help?” Natasha asked.
“I kind of got a job and I start Monday.” I said. “And I started looking through my closet to pick an outfit for the first day. Turns out I don’t have anything to wear and I apparently only wear black. I could use a complete wardrobe makeover. Think you can help?”
“I’ll clear my schedule.” Natasha said. “Meet you in the garage in 20 minutes.”
“Okay.” I said heading to the elevator.
Exactly twenty minutes later we were off in Natasha’s stingray. I wished I had asked to drive one of Tony’s cars because Natasha didn’t really believe in speed limits, or most traffic laws.
“What’s our budget?” She said as she drove.
“Uh… whatever the limit is on Tony’s credit card?” I said flashing the black card he had given me and told me to go nuts with.
“And what’s the job?” She asked.
“I’m his new PA.” I said.
“You’re the new Pepper.” Natasha said. “Good luck.”
“Don’t say it like that.” I said.
“I don’t know if you know this but I…” She started.
“Were his PA for a bit while you were under cover.” I finished for her.
“You saw that too.” Natasha said.
“The leopard print dress really got his attention.” I said.
“So should we get you a leopard print skirt or dress?” She teased.
“It’s a job Nat. There are boundaries and you know it’s not like that.” I said.
“It’s not like that because you won’t let it be like that. If it were up to Tony or any of…” She started.
“Nat, don’t ruin a beautiful day by getting in my head again.” I said. “We are just friends. It is a strictly platonic.”
“For now.” She said.
“Don’t do that.” I said.
“Do you think if you hadn’t seen those movie or read those comic books it would be easier to believe that soulmates are real and we’re your soulmates?” Natasha asked.
“You mean if I had fallen into this world in the middle of an alien invasion, not knowing who any of you were other than the fact that you all looked like hot movie stars from my world?” I asked.
“You think we’re hot?” She asked arching an eyebrow.
“I’m depressed not blind.” I said. “It wouldn’t have made a difference because this entire world defies logic. How can meeting a random stranger suddenly make you see color?”
“Things like that don’t happen in your world?” Natasha asked.
“Imagine the worst day you’ve ever had. Now imagine living that day every day until you become so used to it that it becomes just another day.” I said. “That’s the best way I can describe it."
"There had to be some good there.” Natasha continued.
“Few and far between.” I said playing with the bracelet with the round piece of sea glass.
“But you’re not there anymore.” She said optimistically and all I could think of was how in ten years she would jump off that ledge on Vormir and unlike me she would actually stay dead.
“Yeah and I have no intention of ever going back.” I said. “Aren’t you at all freaked out that you have to share a soulmate with five other guys?”
“It’s not the strangest thing that’s ever happened to me.” Natasha answered. “I had a feeling I’d end up sharing a soulmate with Clint. He’s the only person I've ever met who honestly never judged me for the things I’ve done.”
“He has a past too.” I said. “No one’s perfect.”
“Not everyone has as much red on their ledger as we do.” She said. “If I was going to end up with someone it would have to be someone who could overlook all of that just like my best friend. A person like that is kind of hard to find.”
“You are the last person I ever expected to buy into the soulmate thing.” I said.
“I couldn’t see the blue before you fell out of the sky.” Natasha said.
“Not what you were expecting the same day aliens invaded New York?” I said.
“Something good had to come out of all of that.” She said as we parked.
“I’m not sure I fall into the good category.” I retorted stepping out of the car.
If Natasha ever decided to retire early from being a spy she would be an incredibly successful yet scary personal shopper.
I didn’t even have time to start skimming through the racks before Natasha was throwing clothes at me so I could try them on. I quickly realized she already knew all of my sizes, had great taste and this would be a lot less painful if I handed over Tony’s credit card and just followed behind her catching whatever she threw.
Once we were in the fitting room, she waited for me outside calling out what pieces to try on together.
It was like a fashion show, at one point there were a few store attendants at Natasha’s beck and call brining in more suggestions and adding input.
By the end of it we had to have some of the things we purchased delivered to the tower because they would not fit into the Stingray.
“Should I have gotten something a bit more practical?” I said looking at the shoes I had somehow gotten talked into getting. “I feel like these are an accident waiting to happen.”
“Those heels tie the entire outfit together.” Natasha said. “You’ll be fine.”
“But my feet won’t.” I said as we made a turn into alley to get back to the car.
“You’ll get used to it. It’s still early we can grab lunch and then…” Natasha started before I felt something pull at my arm.
“Give me your purse!” He said pressing something cold and hard against my stomach.
“Wha!” I started but before I could get a word out Natasha went at him. She grabbed his arm and pushed it away from me before she kicked him against the wall. Of course the gun I saw in his hand went off twice.
“New York.” Natasha said turning to look at me. “Are you okay?”
“Ye---” I started but I couldn’t say anything without feeling a sharp pain in my stomach and I just realized I couldn’t even breath. I felt my stomach there was something sticky on my hand.
“Hanna!” Natasha said before I realized that the sticky red thing on my hand was my blood.
“Shit…” I choked out. Everything from there was fast. I don’t remember if I fell onto the ground or how Nat suddenly over me trying to make sure I kept my eyes on her. I couldn’t hear what she was saying but I could tell by the tears she was trying to hold back she was scared.
I could feel the pain starting to go away and I knew what was about to happen.
I hate this part and I didn’t have a lot of time left. She needed to let go or I would drag her along with me.
Let go… Let go…
Why couldn’t I say it?!
Everything was starting to go dark. She was holding onto my hand I could still feel that.
I tried to push her, to make her let go but It all went dark before I knew if it worked or not.
I was falling again… that same dark pit, but I went further down than before. There was a bottom to that pit and I caught a glimpse of it before I was pulled up again.
Third Person’s POV-
Natasha couldn’t move but she knew just like the rest of them knew the moment Hanna was gone. The sky was grey again. She sat in that alley for who knows how long until she felt a hand on her arm and she acted on instinct going for a hit but Clint quickly caught her wrist.
“Hey, it’s just me.” Clint said. “It’s just me.”
“She’s gone.” Natasha said.
“We know. What happened.” Steve said taking a look around.
“We got mugged.” Natasha said. “The gun went off and… She’s gone.”
“This the guy?” Clint said looking at the guy still knocked out on the ground.
“Barton.” Steve said stepping in front of him to stop him from doing anything.
“He killed Hanna!” Clint said.
“That’s not what we do.” Steve said.
“I don’t care!” Clint said pushing Steve back.
“That’s not what she would want.” Steve said. “Hanna’s going to come back and she’s going to ask about him. What would she want to hear?”
Clint didn’t look at all happy, and with clenched fists he turned away.
“Get him out of here.” Clint said going to help Natasha.
Universe ???
When I opened my eyes again, I was in a forest. Unfortunately all forests looked exactly the same. Though I was sure most planets didn’t have four moons… or giant trees that moved.
Groots!
I figured that one out when a giant tree stepped on me and killed me… Again.
About Five Universes Later…
“Ah!” I jumped up gasping for air.
“Ah!!!” The guy holding a hacksaw.
“AHH!” I shrieked kicking the guy away.
“What is all the… Whoa!” the other guy that walked in said.
“What the fuck?!” I said.
“Why do you have a hacksaw? I told you we needed to ID the body… person…” the other guy said.
“What the fuck!?” I said.
“Miss please calm down…” The guy, I’m guessing a coroner said. “You’re in the LA County morgue…”
“No shit.” I said. “I need… I’m just…”
“Miss are you…” Hacksaw guy started before I projectile vomited all over him.
“Oh!” The coroner said.
“Oh my god… oh my god!” Hacksaw guy cried.
“That is so gross…” I groaned realized I got some puke on myself. “I just wanted to go shopping!”
Turns out sixth time was the charm… to get back to my world.
“Miss Marin we have called your mother…” The police officer said.
“Why would you do that?!” I said.
“We just thought you shouldn’t be..” He started.
“No. Just… no.” I said. “Oh officer… James. Your name is James James? Forget it. I’m just going to go. Sorry for the trouble, and for traumatizing your interns. But lesson learned, always go over the basics, like checking a pulse.”
“Miss Marin you shouldn’t be alone right now. We’d feel much better if you’d allow us to take you to the hospital…” Officer James said.
“Just give me whatever you need me to sign certifying that I’m not going to sue the department so I can go already.” I said.
“It’s not…” he started before I gave him a look and he handed me a clipboard.
“Oh and can I get a ride?” I said.
An hour later I was dropped off in my old neighborhood. If I was already here, I guess I could poke around to check in on Theo and Jamie. I couldn’t even tell how long it had been since I was gone.
Theo thought I was in Thailand or somewhere in Africa digging wells.
“Auntie?” I heard someone say behind me. So much for peeking in without anyone seeing me.
“Surprise!” I said before Jamie tackled me into a hug. “Oh that’s a tight… can’t breathe…” I said exaggeratedly making Jamie laugh.
“Hey stranger.” Theo said. “They don’t have phones in Thailand?”
“They do but the reception sucks.” I said hugging him.
“I would have settled for at least a postcard, but I guess a surprise visit works too after 3 months without a word.” Theo said.
“Three months… boy does time fly.” I said trying to do the math.
“Auntie it’s so good you’re here. You can help me with my school project.” Jamie said.
“Uh sure but… This is actually just a short visit kiddo. I got reassigned to Haiti.” I said saying the first country I could think of.
“Haiti?” Theo said.
“Haiti.” I confirmed.
“Is Steve going with you?” Theo asked as we walked into the apartment building.
“No actually he’s staying in Thailand for a bit longer. He had a work thing.” I said.
“You guys broke up already? He seemed like a good one… maybe too good? Boy Scout?” Theo said.
“We’re not like that.” I answered. “It’s strictly platonic.”
“Yeah right.” Theo said not buying it. “His loss, I still want to hear all about Thailand.”
“There’s not a lot to tell. Actually would you mind if I took a quick shower?” I asked.
“They don’t have showers at your hotel?” Theo said.
“I didn’t see the point of paying for a room I won’t be spending a night in.” I said.
“Alright.” Theo said. “Where’s your stuff?”
“The airline lost my bags.” I said.
“Today has not been your day.” Theo said.
“You have no idea.” I said.
“Go shower. You look like you got mauled by a bear.” Theo said.
More like crushed by a giant talking tree but close enough.
“You left some clothes in the bottom drawer.” Theo continued. “And you know where everything else is.”
“When can we work on our family tree?” Jamie said.
“Family tree?” Theo and I said at the same time.
“That’s my school project. We’re studying DNA in science.” Jamie said.
“Oh.” I said.
“That’s… Cool.” Theo said giving me a concerned look. “How about we clean up first and then when your aunt is out of the shower we can talk about it.”
“Okay.” Jamie said. “I’m going to get one scoop of ice cream for a snack.”
“Not the coffee ice cream.” Theo said before whispering to me. “I accidentally poured Kahlua on it.”
“How do you accidentally pour Kahlua on ice cream?” I said.
“I don’t know Hanna, how do you lose a boyfriend in bikini country?” Theo said.
“He’s not my boyfriend.” I said.
“Not anymore. We’ve got bigger problems.” Theo said. “What are we going to do about…”
“Besides send a very angry email to his teacher?” I said. “Theo… it might be time for the talk.”
“The sex talk? He knows the birds and bees… well the G-rated version of it.” Theo said.
“No I meant the talk… the where he came from and how he ended up with us.” I said.
“It’s not a secret his mom is a drug addict.” Theo said in a low tone.
“A family is more than just your sperm and egg donor.” I said. “Hence the family tree.”
“Shit. How much do you want to bet he already has a list of questions waiting for us?” Theo said.
“Play it cool.” I said. “We just have to be honest.”
“Well take the shower time to think of an honest way to explain to him where Greg is.” Theo said. “Aren’t you glad you stopped by for a visit?”
“The universe has the worst timing.” I said going to shower. I swear I took my time in there hoping that Jamie would lose his patience and just make Theo answer all the hard questions. Unfortunately they were waiting for me with ice cream.
“There she is.” Theo said. “Jamie wants to start with your side of the family.”
“My side… That’s going to be a short tree.” I said taking a set on the couch next to Theo. “Alright bud. Uh how do you want to start.”
“This is me and this is supposed to be your dad’s side and then… the other one would go here.” Jamie said pointing at where Grace would go.
“That would be Grace… but we don’t really have photos of her so we’ll just put her name and maybe draw a stick figure or something as a place holder.” I said.
“Why was she never a real mom?” Jamie said. “She never went to my soccer games or helped me make candy bags for all my friends on Valentine’s day or made cookies for school parties. She used to forget me at school until the principal called her.”
“Grace, tried.” I said.
“Obviously not well enough.” Theo said.
“She tried as much as she could given the cards she was dealt. People sometimes have this fairy tale idea of what their life is going to turn out to be. Being a mom wasn't the fairytale she thought it was going to be. She was practically a kid and immature and she was sick.” I said trying to put it in terms he would understand.
“Why didn’t she go to a doctor?” Jamie said.
“There are different kinds of being sick and some things doctors can’t heal and there are some people that don’t want to be helped.” I said and Jamie looked down at his feet. “There are some people that were not meant to be parents and sadly she was one of them. That is not on you or anyone other than her.”
“What about him?” Jamie asked pointing at the spot where his dad was supposed to be. “That’s your side right?”
“That’s right.” I said looking at the diagram. “I would go here.”
“Mhm.” Jamie said. “So Uncle Theo would go next to you?”
“Uh… Not exactly.” I said.
“But he’s my uncle.” Jamie said.
“Yeah…” Theo said before leaning closer to me to whisper something. “This is hard.”
“Okay… Buddy I am your aunt because he,” I said pointing to where Greg should be on the tree. “Is biologically my brother. Your Uncle Theo is your uncle because he chose to be.”
“Because he chose you?” Jamie said.
“Because he chose us and we are very lucky to have him in our lives.” I said giving Theo’s shoulder a reassuring squeeze. “You’ve always known that your uncle and I are not together like your friend’s parents.”
“No shit.” Jamie said.
“And you know I’m gay.” Theo said.
“Sexuality is a spectrum and I can choose whatever pronoun I like best.” Jamie said.
“Exactly.” Theo said. How was that easier to explain than this?”
“I met your uncle after you were born. Grace was starting to get sick and I was taking care of you.” I said.
“Why didn’t he take care of me? It’s supposed to be a mom and dad’s job.” Jamie said.
“Sometimes yes but other times, when moms and dads can’t, it’s grandma’s and grandpas, and aunts and uncles.” Theo said.
“The way your uncle Theo chose to be here and be your uncle, he chose not to be a dad.” I said pointing to his dad. “He was selfish and he just didn’t want to be one. Between us he didn’t want to be a brother either and he wasn't a good one. In his own words ‘the only thing that matters in life is me myself and I’. Your grandparents they were not much better and believe me you are not missing out on anything there.”
“When he found out about you he ran away and no one’s heard from him since. Your grandparents made it clear to Grace that you were not their problem. I had just graduated high school and was about to leave for college when Grace showed up in labor. I was actually the one who cut the cord.” I said. “She was falling apart and she didn’t have anyone so she gave you to me while she tried to get better. That was when she disappeared for a few months then came back before going away again, over, and over until the last time.”
“It was a few months after you were born that I met your Aunt.” Theo said. “My family was not, the nicest to me because I didn’t like girls the way they wanted me to. I was alone and living in my car for a few weeks. Your aunt found out and asked me to be her roommate and that’s how I became your uncle.”
“So they didn’t want me.” Jamie cried.
“Honey, they didn’t deserve you.” I said wiping the tears off his face. “You are so smart, kind, funny, and so so many other good things it’s almost impossible to list them all.”
“Our family is different than other trees.” Theo said. “But the one thing we do have in common is that we love each other. Even when we fight and we drive each other crazy, its always with love. You are our kid. One way or another you were always meant to be our kid and how it happened wasn't pretty or easy but it brought us together and that’s all that matters.”
“I’m your kid.” Jamie said.
“Always have, always will be.” I said.
“You chose to be my Uncle, Does that mean I can chose you guys to be my mom and dad?” Jamie asked.
“Y-yeah.” Theo said crying.
“I wouldn’t get mad at that.” I said tearing up a bit as he got up to hug us.
“What am I going to do about my homework?” Jamie asked looking down at the blank paper.
“Don’t worry about it.” Theo said pushing the paper aside. “We can lie a little.”
“And I’ll write your teacher a letter to go with it.” I said and Theo gave me a look warning me to not overdo it.
Once Jamie was out for the night Theo and I headed up to the roof of the building for a drink.
“How’s it feel to be someone’s daddy?” I teased.
“About the same as it feels to forever be the mom of the group.” Theo said.
“Touche.” I said.
“How that kid ended up being so…. good, I will never understand.” I said.
“You are way too hard on yourself.” Theo said. “You’re not perfect but you are good too.”
“Not true but thanks for trying.” I said sipping my beer.
“Are you going to tell me what happened with you and Steve in Thailand?” He asked.
“Nothing happened with me and Steve.” I said. “We showed up and got to work. Things were set up there and then they needed volunteers for Haiti so I volunteered.”
“Even though he was staying?” Theo said.
“We were never together. We’re friends. That’s it.” I reiterated for like the hundredth time.
“You went all the way across the world with a hot boy scout and that’s it?” Theo said.
“There’s nothing more to say.’ I answered.
“Are you sure because the way he looked at you…” Theo said.
“You think everyone’s flirting with everyone.” I retorted. Honestly the only person that I had actively flirted with me was Tony and the man practically flirted with anything that moved.
“But there is someone.” Theo said reading me like a book.
“You know I’m chronically single.” I said.
“By choice.” Theo said. “Okay… Tough or fluff?”
Tough or fluff was this thing we did when we first started living together. I was very emotionally blocked and was very rough around the edges. I still am but I was not as aware of it back then. After a few misunderstandings we agreed that when we needed to say something without trying to start an argument or hurting the other person’s feeling we would ask the question ‘Tough or Fluff?’ so we knew how honest to be.
“When have I ever picked fluff?” I retorted.
“I love you.” Theo said.
“Okay…” I said not getting where this was going.
“But you don’t always make it easy to love you.” He finished. “Not once in ten years that I’ve known you have you ever said I love you back to me. You are extremely guarded and growing up the way you did, I get why. You’re not them. You are good and you deserve to have good things happen to you.”
“That was supposed to be tough?” I said.
“I could have called you a bitch.” Theo said.
“Takes one to know one.” I teased.
“Steve was a good one. A little too… apple pie for my tastes and maybe yours but maybe that’s what you need.” Theo said.
“I’m not there yet. Chances are I’m not going to be there any time soon... or ever.” I said.
“It’ll happen. You need people around you. You shouldn’t be alone.” Theo said. “Maybe Mr. Apple Pie or Someone fun, who doesn’t take themselves too seriously, smart who can keep up with you, someone who can get you out of your own head, someone who loves all of you the good and the bad, that just lets you be whatever you want to be. No judgement just love.”
“It’s not possible for one person to be all of that.” I said.
“Stranger things have happened.” Theo said.
“Do you believe in soulmates?” I asked.
“Is this the part where you declare your eternal love for me?” Theo teased.
“Moron.” I said.
“I like to think that everything happens for a reason. I walked into that bar and if I hadn’t, I wouldn’t be a dad.” Theo said.
“The… place I was at in Thailand. The people there believed that everyone had a soulmate or maybe even more than one. A person that was who you were meant to be with. That having them in your like would change the way you saw the world.” I said.
“Rose colored glasses?” Theo said.
“Something like that. Well this woman had 6 soulmates.” I said.
“Six? Seriously?” Theo said.
“Yeah. All different guys and they all knew about each other, and they were all cool with it.” I said.
“Wow… I have so many questions.” Theo said. “Like… how does it even work? And do they all like sleep with each other? Does she sleep with all of them? Can she even walk straight?”
“I didn’t really get into the logistics of it but… People are complicated.” I said.
“I don’t know. People are complicated but maybe that’s why it makes sense. People change and don’t always need the same thing. Why do 50% of all marriages end in divorce? It’s a numbers game. Maybe it’s not that one person can be everything you need them to be, it’s that you need to divide and conquer and have a person for that one thing they can handle.” Theo said.
“Still though, in the long term there’s no that would work.” I said.
“It’s definitely messy but, it could work. Stranger things have happened.” Theo said.
“Eh… “ I shrugged it off. I was not ready for that can of worms. That just made me realize how late it was and how I should really try to get back.
“Tough or Fluff?” I asked Theo.
“Oh… you’re going to hit me with something. Let’s go with tough.” He said.
“Do you hate me for leaving?” I said. “It can’t be easy handling things on your own.”
“Not holding back today.” Theo said taking a sip of his beer. “I’ll admit I’m a bit surprised you decided to become a missionary. Mostly because you hate the idea of traveling and think the entire world is screwed. Which you’re not wrong… I was mad in the beginning then I realized that not once since I have met you have you ever done anything for yourself. You started raising Jamie at 17, put Grace through rehab more than once… honestly you were overdue for a nervous breakdown or a quarter life crisis.”
“That’s a pretty good description of the last five years.” I said.
“For both of us but I realized that you need to do some work and that you owe it to not just yourself but to Jamie to take some time to work it out.” Theo said. “And you always come back.”
“Nothing can keep me down.” I said. You have no idea buddy.
“Just don’t take forever. This parenting thing is better when there’s someone to lean on.” Theo said.
“I know. That kid is going to be a great lawyer one day.” I said.
“He does not pull his punches.” Theo said finishing his beer. “Another one?”
“Actually, I should head out.” I said.
“To Haiti.” He said.
“Haiti.” I confirmed.
“Most people go somewhere fun to find themselves. Julia Roberts went to Italy, India and Bali.” Theo said making me snort at the mention of Eat Pray love.
“Julia Roberts is full of crap.” I said making Theo laugh.
“There is no problem pizza can’t fix.” Theo said.
“If only.” I said getting up. “Take care of our kid.”
“I always do.” Theo said hugging me. “Be careful.”
“I’ll try.” I said before climbing down the stairs. It was later than I thought it was and I just made it to the bar on time for last call.
I ordered the traditional Mangotini before going to my favorite corner.
“Will that be cash or card?” the bartender asked.
“UH…” I said looking into my pockets and only finding a dollar and Tony’s black card. There was no way… “Do you take Amex?”
“Sure.” He said taking the card and swiping the card. I was expecting the machine to instantly decline the card. I mean there was no way it would… but there it was in bright green and all Capital letters.
APPROVED
“Here you go miss.” The bartender said handing me back the card.
“Uh thanks…” I said. As if this entire situation couldn’t get any weirder. I made sure he got a good tip before grabbing my drink to take with me to my favorite corner.
I finished it in three big gulps before stepping up to the ledge. It may have been the beer mixed with the mangotini but, i couldn’t help but think of Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz.
So like Dorothy tapped the heels of my worn-out Nikes and said “I want to go home, preferably while I still have a job waiting for me.”
With that I jumped off.
Unfortunately the next time was not it either. It was actually eleven tries after that I finally made it back. Dying does not get any better the more you do it.
Universe 616 – Christmas Eve
It had been two days since Hanna had died… again. While the team had not completely fallen apart like the last time they were not doing great.
Tony had locked himself in the lab. Clint had not come out of the vents. Natasha who was blaming herself was locked in her room and she had been receiving regular deliveries of Vodka. Bruce had buried himself in work and Steve kept busy by Distracting Thor so he wouldn’t accidentally cause another hurricane or flood.
The best way of doing that would be to continue where Hanna left off with teaching Thor about Christmas. Though even he had to admit they may have gone a bit overboard with decorating the common room. The 10 foot monstrosity of tree they had brought in was covered in tinsel and ornaments and was leaning a little too much to one side. Any slight breeze would knock it over.
“I still do not understand the purpose of the elves in these festivities.” Thor said holding a elf plushie.
“They’re the ones that build the toys for Santa to deliver.” Steve said threading a string through popcorn to make a garland.
“Elves are evil and have no interest in building toys with children. Children should not be allowed anywhere near elves. Dwarves on the other hand are mighty and noble builders.” Thor started before Steve saw something move outside the window from the corner of his eye.
They both heard a loud thud and immediately stood up to see what it was. Thor held out his hand calling Mjolnir to him not knowing what to expect.
“Hanna!” Steve said running the person lying on the balcony floor.
“It’s really her.” Thor said dropping Mjolnir to go check on her.
“It’s her.” Steve said checking for a pulse but not feeling anything. He looked her over and saw her clothes dirty with blood and torn in other places. “We need to get her inside.”
“I’ll take her to a medic.” Thor said gently picking up Hanna.
“I’ll go get everyone.” Steve said as they ran inside.
The second Thor walked into the medical floor he set Hanna down on a cot. Bruce was right behind him and started hooking her up to the heart monitor to see if they could get a pulse.
“That’s not good.” Thor said as he saw the flatline displayed on the heart monitor.
“The same thing happened last time.” Bruce said. “There’s not really much we can do.”
“It’s really her?” Tony said running in with Natasha.
“She landed on the balcony.” Thor said.
Natasha mumbled something in Russian as she took Hanna’s hand in hers and ran her fingers through her dirty matted dark blonde hair combing it out of her face.
“She looks like she had it rough.” Tony said.
“Not every world is a good one.” Steve said. “But she’s back.”
“Merry Christmas.” Clint said sarcastically. Natasha walked to the sink to grab a bowl of water and a wash cloth. Slowly she started wiping off the dirt and blood from Hanna’s hands.
‘Still nothing?” Tony asked tapping on the screen of the heartrate monitor. “Is this thing even on right?”
“It’s not the monitor.” Bruce said.
“It takes a while for her to come back.” Steve said.
“How long’s a while?” Clint asked.
“I’m not sure. I never timed it.” Steve said.
“All that’s left to do is wait.” Thor said.
“Does anyone have a deck of cards?” Tony asked.
Meanwhile…
I was in the pit again. I was falling down harder and faster than before.
It was nothing new.
After dying for the 25th time, I finally hit rock bottom. By rock bottom I meant the bottom of the seemingly bottomless pit I fell down every time I died.
“What the hell?” I groaned as I faceplanted onto the wet floor of the pit. There was water at the bottom of it, almost up to my ankles. My voice echoed around me. The only light in the pit came from above me.
The only sound I could hear after was the sound of droplets falling down to the wet floor.
There really was no afterlife. There really was nothing after death. Guess that means you really do have to make every second count.
“Hanna….” Something whispered in the dark.
“Hello?” I asked and my voice echoed again. Out of the corner of my eye I saw something move. “Hello?”
My voice echoed again and before the echoing faded I pulled back up.
After the 25th time I wasn't sure what hurt more, dying, or getting slingshot back to the land of the living.
The first breath of air felt like it also punched me hard enough to knock that air right out of me.
“Ah! Ah!” I gasped. Everything in me hurt and it was hard to move as if everything was tighter than it should be. It was probably the rigor mortis. Who knows how long I had been dead for this time.
“Hanna breathe.” Someone said trying to put an oxygen mask on my face but it was all too much. The lights were too bright. Everything was too loud…
“Give her some room.” A familiar voice said.
“Hanna love…” One of them said.
“Thor move!” another said before I lunged for what looked like a trashcan.
“Buah!” I puked hard coughing up bile and whatever else I had in me while also choking as I couldn’t breathe. Someone held back my hair as I continued to throw up.
“It’s okay…” She said. That’s when I realized it was Natasha when she started rubbing my back. That went on for more than five minutes before I finally stopped gagging.
“Uh… gross.” I groaned.
“You okay?” She asked.
“Been better.” I said. “Is this the right universe?”
“Depends which one you were trying to get to.” She said.
“At least I didn’t wake up in a morgue this time.” I said trying to stand up but I fell back down just as fast.
“Whoa…” Clint said catching me and helping me sit up.
“That would be the rigor mortis.” I said starting to get feeling back in my toes. That’s when I saw Thor. “Pop Tarts.”
“Pop Tarts?” Thor asked confused.
“Pop Tarts? Thoughts?” I said.
“UH… they are delicious. I do rather enjoy the strawberry flavored ones.” Thor said.
“Okay not evil.” I said falling back. “Finally.”
“You got that from pop tarts?” Tony asked.
“It’s the little things.” I said. “What have I missed?”
“Not a lot.” Steve said.
“Merry Christmas.” Clint said.
“Christmas?” I said.
“it’s a quarter past midnight, it’s technically Christmas morning.” Bruce said.
“Christmas? As in December 25, 2013? I was only gone 2 days?” I said confused trying to trace my steps to do the math.
“That’s one day too many.” Tony said. “It’s a good thing you have an in with the boss.”
“Wait… Hanna how long were you gone?” Bruce asked.
“Two weeks give or take a day.” I said.
“2 weeks?” They all said.
“There were a lot of universes.” I said. “Theo says hi.”
“You went back there?” Steve asked.
“Yeah, I woke up in the morgue. Almost got a craniotomy.” I said flexing my fingers as I started regaining movement. “I am in desperate need of a shower.”
“Careful.” Clint said.
“Hanna wait maybe we should wait for the doctor to…” Bruce started.
“Bruce I’ve died 25 times and I keep coming back, I think it’s safe to say that I’m okay.” I said getting up. “So who made the turkey?”
“Turkey?” Steve said.
“Christmas Dinner? That normally includes a turkey or did we opt for ham this year?” I asked.
“Actually…” Bruce started.
“We did both.” Tony said. “I hired a caterer and told them to go nuts.”
“Good idea, we can have leftover sandwiches for the rest of the year.” I said getting up and noticing how torn, burned and cropped the shirt under the flannel I was wearing was now. “Hope he didn’t want these clothes back. I’ll grab a sandwich after my shower.”
“Sure…” Natasha said.
“Take your time, make sure to scrub behind your ears.” Tony said.
“Okay….” I said confused about why he was suddenly being so weird. I must really look bad right now.
“Okay.” Tony said again smiling. That was creepy and weird but mostly creepy.
I was still a bit sore but once I was in the shower and the scalding hot water hit my body all the tension just seeped away.
Two weeks… two very long weeks and more deaths than I ever want to go through again. I found a small twig in my hair and the water was brown and red from the dirt and dried blood on me.
It felt really good to be back.
I stayed in that shower until the water started coming out cold and my fingers got all pruney. Then I brushed my teeth for ten minutes straight to get the taste of my puke and… strangely death out of my mouth.
Once I was more or less back to looking like my normal self, I started cleaning up the bathroom. The cleaning crew would be here at some point… I don’t know how they did it to get in and clean without anyone seeing them but I didn’t want to scare them into thinking someone had been murdered in my bathroom.
One quick rinse of the shower with the detachable shower head and everything was in presentable shape. The only thing left were the clothes I had been wearing. If I could even call them that anymore.
The vintage weathered band tee I had repurposed as a cropped tee under the red buffalo plaid flannel was in tatters. With blood stairs, tears from all the times I had been stabbed and, on my chest, where a bolt of lightning was shot straight to my heart. I really did not want to go back to that universe.
There was no salvaging them so I picked them up intending to throw them down the trash chut.
I was so tired I wasn't sure I was going to make it that far or upstairs for that leftover sandwich.
To my surprise when I stepped out of the bathroom Natasha was sitting at the edge of my bed waiting for me.
“Hey.” She said.
“Hey?” I said surprised. “Who sent a babysitter?”
“I sent myself.” Natasha said noticing the bloody clothes in my hands.
“There’s no saving these so I was going to throw them out.” I said.
“They should be burned. It’s protocol for biohazards.” She said.
“Right, you guys are probably experts at this sort of thing.” I said before realizing how that came out. “You know because of work, on the job injuries… the serum in Steve’s blood and Bruce…”
“Yeah.” She said shifting awkwardly. We stood there not saying anything until Natasha said something. “I’m sorry. That it happened again on my watch. I thought I had him and…”
“His finger slipped and hit the trigger. It wasn't your fault.” I said. “Things happen.”
“It shouldn’t have happened.” She said. “It was a rookie mistake and…”
“Stop.” I said. “Don’t compartmentalize this. This wasn't a mission. You were off duty and we were out having fun. We didn’t see it coming, no one could have seen it coming. It happened and if it wasn't me it would have been someone else or you. At least I can come back from the dead.”
“How can you be so okay with this?” She said getting angry.
“Because I’ve died over a dozen times in the last two weeks and I am just dead tired. No pun intended.” I said. “I’m back, safe and sound and that’s a really long overdue win in my book.”
“How bad was it?” Natasha asked.
“Not as bad as it was here for you guys.” I said lying as best as I could. “Clint doesn’t have a beard and Tony didn’t go on a bender so I’d say that’s an improvement on the first time.”
Natasha didn’t say anything just stared at me with watery eyed. What I did next surprised her as much as it did me.
I walked up to her and hugged her.
“You’re hugging me?” She said putting her hands on my arms almost trying to gauge if it would be okay for her to return it.
“Yeah, you looked like you needed it.” I said still hugging her. “Did I make it weird? I knew I should have asked first.”
“Tony didn’t hire a caterer.” She said.
“I figured. Is he going crazy trying to find a cooked turkey and ham in the middle of the night on Christmas?” I asked.
“Pretty much.” Natasha said.
“Jarvis, tell Tony I’m skipping the midnight leftover sandwich and going to sleep.” I said.
“I shall alert sir right away.” Jarvis answered.
“Great.” I said letting go of Natasha and getting into bed. “Good night.”
“Night.” She said doing a not-so-subtle scan of the room and staring at the bloody clothes I left on the table.
“You want to just sleep in here?” I offered. I would probably sleep better having someone close by to remind me I was back in the right universe.
“Are you sure?” Natasha asked.
“It’s a big bed.” I said scooting over to give her the side closest to the door as I knew that would probably the spot she felt most comfortable in.
“Thanks.” Natasha said getting in next to me.
I pulled up the blankets and closed my eyes.
“Nat?” I said.
“Hm?” She hummed.
“Merry Christmas.” I said.
“Merry Christmas.” Natasha said back before we drifted off to sleep.
The Next Morning…
I woke up early the following morning alone in bed. My snoring or tossing and turning may have pushed Natasha out of bed. I slowly got up, not feeling at all sore which was a huge improvement from last night. I looked out the window and to my surprise it was snowing.
Guess I finally got to experience a white Christmas.
To add to the Christmas spirit I was so out of it last night I didn’t realize I ended up putting on reindeer Christmas pjs.
It was probably the bright clothing I owned and I actually didn’t hate it.
What a freaking year.
I needed coffee and maybe Tony had finally figured out the turkey situation.
After slipping on my slippers I made my way up to the common room.
The second the elevator doors open the smell of cinnamon and pine hit me and everywhere I looked I saw… Christmas.
“Whoa..” I said.
“Morning.” Steve said.
“My lady Hanna!” Thor said running towards me wearing a Santa hat and a very ugly Christmas Sweater. He picked me up and spun me around.
I almost panicked for a second before I remembered I wasn't in that universe anymore and this Thor was practically a giant golden retriever as he was in most universes. I didn’t think anyone noticed but Steve gave me a confused look.
“Merry Christmas.” Thor said when he put me down.
“Merry Christmas.” I said once I was back on my feet. “Should that tree be leaning like that so close to the fireplace?”
“It’s holding.” Clint said offering me a cup of coffee.
“Coffee.” I said taking a sip before only choking on it because that coffee was not just coffee. “Oh! That’s…”
“Nat Spiked the coffee with the spiked eggnog.” He explained.
“It’s one of those mornings.” I said looking at the kitchen. “With a full spread.”
“I told you, those caterers really went nuts.” Tony said.
“Yeah…” I said noticing Natasha shaking her head signaling for me to go with it. “Is that Cinnamon Roll French toast?”
“Christmas Brunch before presents.” Tony said.
“Score.” I said. “Who made it look like Santa puked all over the common room?”
“That would be Capsicle.” Tony said.
“And Thor.” Bruce added.
“Apparently Steve has a Pinterest account.” Natasha said and Steve turned beet red.
“You have a Pinterest account?” I asked. “Oh Show me! Show me! Show me!”
“I don’t have an account I was just looking at Christmas decorations and…” Steve started.
“Here you go.” Natasha said passing me her phone.
“You have more than one board.” I said scrolling through it. “This explains the elves.”
“Dwarfs are better.” Thor with a shrug.
“Don’t.” Bruce said warning me before I added input.
“It looks great guys and nice sweaters.” I said realizing everyone was wearing some form of an ugly Christmas sweater.
“Nice Pjs.” Tony said.
“Yeah, I don’t know where they come from but they’re warm.” I said taking a bite of my French toast. “Mhm, this is delicious.”
Once we were done eating we moved to the couch for presents.
“I feel bad I didn’t do any shopping.” I said.
“Hanna, you died and came back in time for Christmas. That’s all we wanted.” Bruce said.
“Also you got us all presents last week.” Clint said. “Those count.”
“Most of those are Tony’s anyway.” Natasha added.
“Which means I go last you know to save the best for last.” Tony said clapping his hands together. “Capsicle, you’re up.”
“Alright.” Steve said handing out presents. He hesitated before handing mine over. “If you don’t like it, I can get you something else.”
“I’m sure it’s great.” I said opening the box to see a framed sketch. But it wasn't just any sketch it was a recreated sketch of the photo of Me, Jamie and Theo I had in my old apartment. “You sketched this from memory?”
“I got as close to it as I could.” Steve said.
“It’s a black and white copy of it.” I said smiling. “Thank you.”
“That’s Jamie?” Clint asked.
“Yup, that’s my kiddo.” I said showing him the framed drawing. “Theo asked about you.”
“He did?” Steve said surprised.
“Yeah, I told him I left you in Thailand.” I said.
“Thailand?” Bruce asked.
“We were doing missionary work.” I said.
“That’s a good cover.” Natasha said. “He looks like you.”
“You think?” I said looking at the sketch.
“Alright next.” Tony said trying to keep things moving.
“I’ll go.” Clint said offering me a small box.
“Okay.” I said taking the small box and opening it. Inside were two thin dainty gold chain layered necklaces one with an arrow pendant. It was almost identical to the one Natasha wore. The second chain had a small gold dime sized disc with two black stones shaped like an hourglass.
“It’s beautiful. Thank you.” I said taking it out of the box. “You mind?”
“Sure.” Clint said helping me put it on.
I got a few other cool things namely Bruce following Steve’s lead and giving me an enlarged framed photo of my DNA. Considering I left a literal bloody mess everywhere it’s good that something pretty could come out of it. It was so going up in my living room. Natasha gave me a taser and some gorgeous suede knee high boots to match. (Those were her exact words.)
Thor came back with an old looking book from Asgard’s library that did those cool projections of the story being told. It told the history of Asgard and the nine realms. You know just some light nighttime reading.
“Finally it’s my turn.” Tony said.
“Before you do anything… If it’s anything over the top return it.” I said.
“You are the hardest person to shop for.” Tony said. “I was going to give you a vacation…”
“I think I’m good on the traveling front.” I said.
“I bet you did…. How’s my car?” Tony asked.
“Your car is fine. Not a scratch on her.” I said.
‘That’s good.” he said staying quiet. “How’d you like it?”
“It was okay…” I said playing coy. If I even hinted that I liked it he’d want to buy me one. I couldn’t tell him how amazing I felt driving that car. The wind blowing through my hair as I sped down the highway.
“Just okay?” Tony teased.
“Yeah… I mean it’s just a car.” I said sipping my eggnog.
“Uhuh… so what about…” he said before bring up a video of me driving the Audi down the high way singing walking on sunshine at the top of my lungs before ignoring the song and shouting.
“THIS IS THE BEST CAR EVER!!!!!” I shouted in the video.
Everyone just turned to look at me with smiling.
“Well?” Tony said with the smuggest look on his face.
“It’s a really good car.” I admitted.
“Handles like a dream.” Tony said.
“Once you get it warmed up and push it over 80 on the open highway…” I said.
“Isn’t the speed limit 55?” Steve said.
“Speed Limits are just suggestions.” Clint reassured him.
“It’s magical.” I said.
“Magical?” Tony said laughing. “That… that’s great. You singing walking on sunshine… that’s my new ringtone.”
“What… no.” I said.
“Yes.” He said.
“No. I forbid it. I’ll quit.” I said.
“You haven’t even started yet.” Tony said.
“HR” I said.
“Okay I won’t use it as a ringtone... if you don’t make me return this.” He said holding out a very expensive looking jewelry box. Then I caught a glimpse of the letters on the box and I knew it was going to be expensive.
“Tony.” I warned.
“This isn’t just a present.” He said. “It also solves our tracking issue.”
“You mean your stalking problem?” I retorted.
“Don’t call it that. It makes me seem creepy.” He said.
“Well if it looks like a duck and sounds like a duck…” I said.
“Hanna!” he groaned. “Can you just… at least look at it.”
“I’m afraid to even touch that box.” I said.
“It’s just a box.” He said.
“The box implies something incredibly expensive.” I said.
“Not really expensive for me...” He said. “Would it help if I tell you that I didn’t get you the most expensive version of what normally comes in this box?”
“Not really.” I said.
“Just open it.” He said.
“I reserve the right to ask for you to return it.” I said.
“And I reserve the right to say no.” Tony said before opening the box for me.
“Cartier.” Natasha said impressed.
Inside the box was a customized version of the Cartier Love Bracelet.
Instead of the traditional circles there were small engravings with each of their call signs and the Avengers emblem.
“It’s custom so… no take backs.” Tony said. “And I made a tiny alteration to it. The bracelet is connected to Jarvis so he can track your bio signs at all time.”
“It’s another tracker?” I said looking at the bracelet if I could see how it was done.
“No, I can just see your stats.” He said. “The signal can be tracked but only in case of emergencies or if you… come back again. It’s in the programming.”
“So you can’t see my location, only my heart rate?” I asked.
“Jarvis will only let me see your location if your heartrate stops or if you come back again.” He said.
If this had been 2 weeks ago/2 Days ago I would have said no but I don’t always appear in the best location and I’d rather not wake up in a morgue again as they’re about to crack my skull open. Plus what were the odds I was going to land on the balcony again.
“I can live with that.” I said putting on the bracelet.
“And the car that goes with it…” he started.
“No.” I said.
“But it could come in handy…” Tony continued.
“No.” I said ending the discussion.