Chapter 22
I never realized how much the fighting between Tony and Steve affected everyone else. Then again I was pretty out of it the last few weeks so even if I had seen it I either wouldn’t have remembered or cared.
Natasha though even through the emotionless façade had brief moments where she let her guard down and this was one of them.
“Those two never stop.” She mumbled as she sped down the street in one of Tony’s sports cars that she had been using while she was here.
“Wish I could tell you that they’ll stop but they don’t. It does simmer down though.” I said.
“Great.” She said. “How are you doing with it all?
“You mean since I stopped being a zombie and returned to the land of the living?” I retorted. “It’s good. It’s only been a few days but I haven’t been tempted to go on any roofs so I think that’s good.”
“I’d say so.” She said. “How much damage do you think we can do on Tony’s card?”
“I don’t really need anything. I mean I don’t think I’ve repeated any outfits since I got here.” I said.
“You can never have too many options and you’re welcome.” Natasha said.
“That was you? That explains all the stuff I don’t remember buying.” I said.
“I had some free time.” She said.
“That’s been going around.” I said.
“No luck finding a hobby?” Natasha said.
“Nothing that doesn’t end up making me frustrated.” I said.
“And here I was looking forward to getting a new scarf for Christmas.” She said.
“It probably would have ended up getting blown up.” I said and Natasha slammed the brakes. “Too soon?”
“Red light.” She said. “He really gave a terrorist his home address?”
“He was going through a lot.” I said.
“Did therapy help?” Natasha asked.
“Too soon to tell.” I said. “Things are different. You guys were supposed to go your separate ways not become roomies. Though I think he secretly likes having a full house.”
“More like he likes having you around.” Natasha said.
“You make it sound like he has a thing for me.” I said chuckling at the insanity of that.
Natasha didn’t say anything just gave me a look.
“What?” I said.
“You don’t know.” She said.
“Know what?” I said and she just stared at me in disbelief before she realized I was being serious.
“You’re adorable.” She said.
“Thanks?” I said confused.
“And oblivious.” Natasha said. “but those pills really threw you off so you can just blame them.”
“Probably. So what am I oblivious to?” I asked.
“Tony.” Natasha said trying to see if I reacted to it.
“Is he blowing up his life again?” I again.
“No. He likes you.” She said.
“Okay.” I said.
“As in he really likes you.” Natasha said emphasizing the word like but I still wasn’t getting it. “He like likes you.”
“Oh.” I said. “Oh! What?! He does not.”
“He does.” Natasha said.
“No he doesn’t.” I said.
“Yes he does.” She said.
“You’re messing with me. We’re just friends.” I said.
“I’m not and you’re not just friends you’re soulmates. Just like the rest of us.” Natasha said.
“Still not onboard with the S-thing.” I started. “It’s probably a fluke.”
“You can see color and I’m sure one of us had done the finger test.” She said.
“Tony does not have a thing for me.” I said interrupting her so we wouldn’t have to have the soulmate conversation. Natasha was hard to get a read on and I didn’t want to hurt her feelings and I had just gotten mine back and still lacked tact if Tony’s reaction to his house getting blown up was anything to go by.
“Why do you think we always send you to go get Tony?” Natasha said.
“Because besides Bruce I’m the only one with a passcode to get into the lab?” I retorted.
“And why do you think that is?” She said.
“Because I’m the only one that bothered to read Jarvis’ protocols and found the loophole to get in and Tony thought it’d be easier to give me a password instead of having to redo most of Jarvis’ coding?” I said.
“You’re the only one he listens to.” Natasha said.
“That’s not…” I started.
“You got him to go to therapy.” Natasha said effectively shutting down any arguments I could have made. “Why do you think he was so bothered by you bringing up his one night stand?”
“That makes no sense why would he like me like that?” I said. “I mean you’ve met me. I’m a trainwreck and that’s putting it mildly.”
“You’re also smart, sweet, caring, funny…” Natasha started.
“We’re not… he’s not…” I started getting all tongue tied because how the fuck did Tony like me?
“He is.” Natasha said. “It’s pretty obvious and you had to have seen this coming.”
“Do I come off as charming and the type of person people fall for?” I retorted Natasha didn’t say anything just gave me an amused look. “Oh not you too. You never struck me as the type to buy into the whole soulmate thing.”
“Why? Because of what I’ve done?” She retorted watching me for any slight micro reaction or body language that could give anything away.
“You helped save the world. It’s because you give off this really tough cold front that’s really hard to read and you can go from fun ‘Woohoo girls trip’ to scary ‘say the wrong thing and no one will ever find your body’ in less than a second.” I said. She watched me probably trying to see if I was lying and when she realized I was being honest she let her guard down again.
“It’s a habit.” She said. Neither of us said anything for a bit as she kept driving. “The red room had a rule about soulmates.”
“They wanted you to kill me?” I said sarcastically but one look at Natasha and I knew I got it right on the first try. “Makes sense.”
“I didn’t think it would happen for me.” She said. “Most people meet theirs in their teens and if it doesn’t happen by then, chances are it won’t happen. Then you fell out of a wormhole and the sky was blue for the first time.”
“That takes some getting used to.” I said remembering the shock of seeing color for the first time. I was still getting used to it.
“The world is brighter with you in it.” She said.
“It doesn’t make sense.” I said.
“It doesn’t have to but you are going to have to accept the fact that it is real. There’s no denying it.” Natasha said as we pulled up to the spa.
“When did life get so complicated?” I asked.
“I stopped asking myself that when Thor showed up.” Natasha admitted.
“I wonder how he’s doing. I kind of warned him about a few things but I’m not sure if he took me seriously.” I said. “We were pretty drunk.”
“Whatever it is he can handle it. He’s been around for over a thousand years.” Natasha said.
“True.” I said getting out of the car and following her into the spa.
After we both got mani, pedi, facials and even a deep tissue massage were on cloud nine so shopping was not as overwhelming as it was before. Or maybe this time I was just more used to all the color. Natasha and I were going through the clothes and she kept adding to my pile things to try on.
“Before this universe I had never been to a spa.” I said.
“Really?” Natasha said. “How do you like it?”
“I was really missing out.” I said.
“We’re just getting started.” She said. “We still need to talk about Tony.”
“Do we really?” I asked.
“Yes.” Natasha said.
“You’re probably making this out to be way bigger than it really is.” I said.
“You know everything about me and what I do? You remember I was Tony’s shadow? You know how I read people?” Natasha said. “If I’m telling you something it’s because I know it’s true.”
“And what am I supposed to do about it?” I said.
“Do you feel anything for him?” She asked.
“Up until about four months ago you were all movie characters.” I said. “Add to that I’m practically an emotional vegetable...”
“You’re an emotional vegetable when you’re on the pills but now you seem fine to me.” Natasha said.
“Because this is the high before the crash.” I said.
“Crash?” Natasha said.
“They didn’t take me off the pills because I was suddenly fixed. They made me really low so when I stopped taking them my body recompensated overshooting me higher than normal hence me right now. It’s a negative feedback loop.” I explained. “As soon as the last bits of the pills are out of my system we will be right back where we started.”
“It also means you can come back to this again.” Natasha said.
“That’s not really how it works…” I started.
“That was before, this is a different universe.” She said.
“Is this really the right time for this?” I started.
“You could always wait for the next alien invasion.” Natasha said.
“More like killer robots.” I said and she gave me a look.
“Killer robots?” She asked.
“We’ll talk about that as soon as we find Loki’s scepter.” I answered.
“Okay. Tony.” She said.
“I don’t know what to say about that.” I said.
“You called him a hot mess.” Natasha said.
“Technically you’re all hot messes in different ways.” I said.
“You go on dates.” She said.
“We have therapy at the same time and place and we get hungry.” I said.
“You talk.” She says.
“I talk to Clint too.” I said.
“So you like Clint?” Natasha asked with a smirk.
“What no… well yes… not the way you’re asking about… It’s complicated.” I said.
“It’s not that complicated.” She said.
“You know what no one’s admitted to anything so right now you’re just making assumptions based on observations. Maybe it’s all platonic. I mean the first time I saw you and Clint together on screen I thought you were a thing.” I said.
“Everyone thinks that. He’s my best friend.” Natasha said. “Did anyone explain what being someone’s soulmate actually is?”
“Your perfect match. You know it’s them when you can see the opposite spectrum of colors that you can already see which in my case means I could suddenly see all of them…” I said. “Then there’s the finger thing…”
“So no one told you the most important thing?” Natasha said.
“There’s more?” I asked.
“Well just the main thing. Soulmates are meant to be. They’re linked and once they meet they’re like magnets.” Natasha said. “They will always end up together.”
“End up together as in…” I said.
“Together.” Natasha said.
“But I mean it’s not like we don’t have a choice.” I said.
“There’s always a choice but no one ever chooses not to be.” Natasha said.
“Why?” I asked.
“Before did you feel like something was missing?” Natasha asked.
“Besides color?” I asked even though I know what she was talking about. The strange feeling of not fitting in anywhere because it all felt wrong. Because something was missing. Something that would pull it all together the way it was meant to be.
“It’s more than that. It’s that nagging feeling in the back of your head.” She said.
“Maybe you’re just paranoid.” I said.
“Like when you’re in bed trying to fall asleep and you feel like you forgot to do something….” Natasha said.
“But more than that.” I finished for her. “It doesn’t go away.”
“It does.” She said. “Isn’t it.”
“I’m going to go try these on.” I said going to the fitting rooms mostly to avoid the conversation which was getting way too deep for casual shopping talk.
I think she got the idea because she dropped it. Unfortunately, I couldn’t.
After we had gotten home late enough that we missed both lunch and dinner I headed straight to my room without another word.
So free will existed but no one ever chose to not be with their soulmate and apparently mine were going to want me or in Tony’s and maybe Clint’s (by the way Natasha mentioned him) already felt some pull.
And I was so freaking blocked I couldn’t even figure out what I felt.
Why the hell would Tony be interested in me? It was impossible. Even if we are soulmates and that is a big if chances are we bonded because of a shared traumatic experience.
Yeah that had to be it.
Of course now that I think about it… there were moments in the past couple of months. Like when he broke me out of SHIELD and helped me when I started having a panic attack. Or when he found me in the lab when I was avoiding my intervention which ended in me going to therapy. Or a week ago when we went to the beach.
I guess in a way he’s also the only one I listen to.
Oh fuck he really has a thing for me.
“Shit.” I said.