Nothing But Grey

Week 12…

I spent the week avoiding well… everyone.

Steve because he was still trying way too hard to get back on my good side and after the one morning walk he invited himself and talked the entire 30 minutes was a bit too much for me.

Natasha because she gave me way too much to think about and did not want her using her super spy skills to get in my head more than she already had.

Tony because now I couldn’t be around him without overthinking everything he said and did to determine if it was one of the things I hadn’t seen before the showed he has a thing for me.

Clint because he might already be in the same boat as Tony and I could barely handle the idea of one of them having a thing for me let alone two.

Thor was on Asgard so it was more like he was ignoring me. Well not ignoring more like busy bringing order to the nine realms.

Bruce… well I didn’t really have a reason to avoid him but since I had mentioned Doctor Cho and regeneration cradle he had reached out to learn more and was now on a lab binge.

On the plus side if avoiding people was considered a hobby Elaine would be very happy with me.

Which brings me to the day of weekly therapy…

I was so lost in my head the past week it had slipped my mind. I went through my usual routine of showering before getting dressed. I had opted for a pair of grey skinny jeans, a light heather grey scooped neck tee and a charcoal grey textured moto jacket with light grey suede heels.

I had put my hair in a braided half up half down hairstyle. Once I was ready and I thought the coast was clear I was going to sneak out but apparently someone had anticipated what I was going to do and was waiting for me right outside my door.

“Morning.” Tony said making me jump.

“Tony! W-what are you… I started.

“It’s Wednesday. We’ve got therapy.” He said.

“Right…” I said.

“Want to grab breakfast?” Tony asked.

“Uh I’m not really hungry.” I said.

“You didn’t eat dinner.” He said.

“Late night snack.” I said.

“Then we’ll make a Starbucks run.” Tony said. “I feel like I haven’t seen you in days.”

“I doubt it, we live in the same house.” I said following him down to the garage. We actually hadn’t seen each other in days. I was a pro at avoiding people.

The car ride was pretty quiet. Tony tried making small talk but I heard was Natasha’s voice in my head saying ‘he likes you. He like likes you.’ Then we get to Starbucks and he ordered for me getting exactly what I wanted exactly how I liked it and the voice got louder.

Which led us to the waiting room at our therapist’s office. For the first time I was the anxious one and Tony was casually reading something on his phone while I bounced my knee.

“You feeling okay?” He asked.

“Great, Why?” I said.

“No reason you just seem a little… jumpy.” Tony said putting a hand on my knee to stop my leg from moving. “And you’re been weird lately.”

“I am from another universe.” I said taking a sip from my coffee.

“Yeah but… okay I’m just going to ask. Have you been hitting the bars again?” He asked.

“What? No. Why would you…” I said.

“I don’t know it feels like you’re avoiding us for some reason and last time you were was when you were…” Tony said.

“Okay first of you make it sound like I’m an alcoholic which I’m not thanks for the vote of confidence. Second of all wouldn’t you know if I was at a bar considering I only use your credit card?” I said.

“I do trust you and I know you’re not an alcoholic and I don’t track your spending I just pay the bill. I’m not a stalker.” He said.

“You don’t check your bank statements?” I said.

“Billionaire remember?” he said.

“Yeah but you should still…” I said.

“Stop trying to change the subject.” Tony said.

“I’m not…” I started.

“Miss Marin you can go in.” The receptionist said.

“Oh well can’t keep Elaine waiting.” I said. “See you in 45.”

“Uhuh.” Tony said giving me a skeptical look.

Maybe Elaine would let me escape through her window…. Nah she wouldn’t be cool with that.

“Good morning Hanna.” Elaine greeted.

“Morning.” I said looking out her window.

“Is there something going on outside?” She said.

“Oh nothing just keeping an eye out for emergency exits.” I said sitting on the couch.

“Are you expecting an emergency?” Elaine said.

“No just, something I heard on the news.” I said. “Alright lets get this over with.”

“Someone’s eager.” Elaine teased.

“I’m off the pills and I haven’t crashed yet so if there’s any Hail Mary’s you’ve been waiting to use I suggest you use them now.” I said.

“You seem oddly anxious. Is there something worrying you?” Elaine said.

“I just have a lot on my mind.” I said.

“Well why don’t we talk about it? That’s what I’m here for.” She said.

“It’s not really therapy talk.” I said.

“This is your time Hanna. You can talk about whatever you want. And nothing you say leaves this room.” Elaine said.

And for the first time in three months I was complete open and just unloaded everything. The soulmates the talk with Natasha. The signs I had missed and was now overthinking about…

Once I was done she was quiet before she started laughing.

“Really?” I said. “What happened to no judgement?”

“Hanna you got the man to willingly go to therapy. That says it all. If my ex-husband had agreed to go to couples therapy then he wouldn’t be my ex-husband.” She said.

“That’s great. I mean I’m glad he’s here but I didn’t mean for this to happen.” I said.

“Do you not feel the same way about him?” Elaine asked.

“I didn’t even notice anything. If you haven’t noticed I’ve been pretty out of it lately.” I answered.

“I don’t know you seem pretty into it now.” She said smiling.

“Is that supposed to be funny?” I said.

“No. the pills have definitely emotionally blunted you but I don’t think they made you blind. You had to have noticed something.” She answered. “or at the very least feel something. You are soulmates.”

“Look I’m just getting used to the fact that soulmates are real and also with the way I’ve been lately who in their right mind would fall for me?” I said.

“Apparently Tony and maybe Clint.” Elaine said. “Tell me something did you really not see it or did you not let yourself see it? Making me groan.

“If I had actually seen it do you think I’d be this confused about it?” I retorted. “And now I have Natasha in my head making me overthink every little thing. Like Tony ordered my drink from Starbucks exactly the way I like it without me asking for it. He just fucking did it.”

“Did you not want that?” Elaine said.

“I did but he just knew.” I said.

“Maybe because it’s your favorite drink and it’s what you always get?” She asked.

“It’s… I’m overthinking it aren’t I?” I said.

“Or you’re in denial.” She said. “Add to that how stubborn you are.”

“It doesn’t make any sense.” I said.

“Nothing about love makes sense.” Elaine said making me groan.

“You just had to say the L word.” I said. “We’re not… It’s like a I told Nat. We have shared trauma and that bonds people.”

“That doesn’t make his feelings any less real.” Elaine said.

“Then what the hell am I supposed to do?” I said.

“Have you tried talking to him?” She asked and I gave her a look. “I’ll take that as a no. You need to talk to him.”

“And say what?” I said.

“Nothing just talk to him and try to figure out where you stand then go from there.” Elaine said. “Don’t over complicate it.”

“I have six soulmates what part of that isn’t complicated?” I asked.

“Start with the one that already has feelings for you.” Elaine said. “I think we’re going to cut today’s session a bit ear…”

“No!” I said quickly. “I mean we have ten minutes and I didn’t even get to talk about my hobby search.”

“Wow you must really be dreading talking to him. You normally can’t get out of here fast enough.” Elaine said.

“You did say this was my time.” I retorted.

But my time did eventually run out and guess who was already out waiting for me.

“So what were we talking about?” Tony asked as we walked back to the car.

“How you don’t really have a grasp on the value of money.” I said.

“Oh I do I just have a lot of it and that’s not what I meant.” He said. “You’re being weird. Did Spangles do something?”

“No.” I said.

“You’ve been acting weird since your girl’s day with Romanoff. Or is it about the house getting blown up because I already have a few ideas like putting in blast door shielding. That could work.” He said.

“The house is on a cliff.” I reminded him.

“And it survived me and Rhodey going at it in the suits.” Tony said.

“You had to gut the place and rebuilt.” I reminded him. “And you two didn’t use missiles.”

“They use missiles?” Tony said surprised.

“They destroy the house, it sinks into the ocean and the only thing that’s left is part of the garage floor.” I said.

“How do you feel about a panic room? He asked.

“Claustrophobic.” I said. “And wouldn’t really help if the house it’s in gets blown up.”

“Maybe I could make you a…” he started.

“No.” I said already knowing what he was going to say.

“But you haven’t…” he started.

“No.” I repeated not backing down.

“Have you been talking to Pepper?” Tony asked.

“Never met her.” I said.

“We should fix that.” he said.

“Or maybe you know wait on that.” I said.

“Why?” Tony said.

“Well you’re going to bust into her office and just unload the whole hey this Hanna my soulmates that fell through that wormhole I flew a nuke into in New York and she’s from a universe where we’re all movie characters.” I said.

“You said it.” Tony said staring at me with a smile.

“Well it did happen.” I said.

“No, you said it. You said the s-word.” Tony said with a smug smile.

“No I didn’t.” I said.

“Yeah you did.” He said still smiling. “You finally believe.”

“I’m…” I started about to completely deny everything but then I thought about it and had a strange moment of clarity. “You know what if Norse gods are real, a guy can wake up after 70 years in ice, the nicest person you ever meet can turn into a giant green rage monster, and you can accidentally fall into another universe then sure I guess soulmates can be real.”

“This is great. We’re celebrating starting with brunch.” Tony said.

“As long as the mimosas are bottomless.” I said.

“What happened to ‘I’m not an alcoholic.’?” Tony said.

“You’re going to be insufferable about this and not let it go. Drinks are required.” I said.

“You know what, go for it.” Tony said. “Because we’re soulmates.”

“Can you at least wait until there’s a glass in my hand before you start?” I asked.

“Nope because after four months. Four whole months you finally accepted its real.” He said.

“Stupid Freudian slip.” I mumbled.

So I had lunch with a super smug Tony who was parading like peacock and squeezing in the word soulmate at every chance he could.

“So soulmate…” he started.

“Five rounds of mimosas were not enough.” I said.

“Stop.” He said taking my hand. “Since you brought it up how would you feel about meeting Pepper and Rhodey. They have been asking to get together. Apparently I haven’t seen them since before New York…”

“You haven’t seen your closest friends in almost five months?” I said.

“We’ve been kind of busy.” He said.

“Okay how about you go see them and show them you’re still alive and you make the introductions sometime later when all this smugness has worn off.” I said.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Tony said smirking. “Jarvis set up dinner with Pepper and Rhodey “

“How many people should I make the reservation for sir?” Jarvis asked.

Tony gave me a look and I crossed my arms staring him down. After about a minute he caved.

“Make it for three.” Tony said begrudgingly.

“Have fun.” I said going back to my room. Months without drinking had done away with my tolerance for alcohol and I was most definitely feeling the booze. I shrugged off my jacket and faceplanted onto the bed. I took a short nap and woke up around mid afternoon.

I considered going to the gym for my one hour of exercise but considering the progress I made I think I earned a cheat day. That didn’t stop me from putting on some charcoal grey joggers and a light heather grey scoop neck tee. My hair was up in a messy bun and with that I was ready for a binge watching marathon.

I looked through the library and I had to adjust my expectations. Being ten years in the past meant I would have to wait a few years to see some of the movies on my Netflix queue in my universe.

But then I found it.

“Game of Thrones. Score.” I said. Sure the final season was a bit of a letdown but it was an epic journey. And I was glad Sansa got her happy-ish ending. All hail the Queen of the North.

So I started from the very first episode.

The sound system Jarvis used was also connected to the TV so I couldn’t hear anything outside of the room. I was on episode 2 or 3. Not entirely sure but I had forgotten how much nudity and how many sex scenes there were…

So when Steve came to check on me and I didn’t hear him knock but he heard a noise so he let himself in and well… got an eyeful of a brothel scene.

“Ah!” He screamed in shock before covering his eyes with his hands. “I-I’m sorry! Sorry! I didn’t…”

Steve backed away crashing into a wall before stumbling out of the room and slamming the door shut behind him.

“Wha…” I said not being able to finish what I was saying before Steve was out. I considered going after him but maybe he got lost and confused my room for one of the bathrooms.

Either way I went back to my show.

A While Later…

After what Steve had walked in on he was jumpy and uncomfortable. He was walking on eggshells and would walk out of the room if anyone mentioned Hanna.

He decided to stay busy by cooking dinner and cleaning the kitchen.

By the time dinner was ready almost everyone was at the table except Hanna. Tony had just come down dressed and ready for his dinner with Pepper and Rhodey.

“Hey has anyone seen Hanna?” Tony asked.

“No!” Steve said immediately. “Haven’t seen her at all. Why would I have seen her? is she even in the house?”

“She’s up in her room watching TV.” Natasha said giving Steve a weird look.

“Yeah sure TV.” Steve said avoiding looking at anyone.

“Steve are you okay?” Bruce asked.

“Why wouldn’t I be?” Steve said.

“I don’t know. You’re looking a bit jumpy there Cap.” Tony said.

“I’m fine…” Steve said. “I don’t think Hanna wants to be bothered.”

“Why not?” Clint asked confused.

“She’s… busy.” Steve said.

“Busy?” Tony asked. “Doing what? I know she still hasn’t found a hobby.”

“Just busy!” Steve snapped and everyone stared at him making him sigh. “Look I didn’t mean to but… I went by to check on Hanna after lunch because she didn’t come down and… and I walked in…”

“Walked in on what?” Natasha asked.

“She… Hanna was… She was looking at…” Steve said looking around before checking to make sure Hanna wasn’t withing earshot of them. “Erotic media.” Steve whispered.

“Huh?” Everyone said.

“You need to speak up Cap I can’t hear you.” Clint said.

“Erotic Media.” Steve said slightly louder.

“What?” Clint said.

“He means porn.” Natasha said bluntly.

“Sh!” Steve shushed blushing bright red.

“I’m sorry did you just say you walked in on our soulmate watching porn?” Tony asked trying to make sure he heard right.

“Yes. It was on the TV.” Steve said bashfully. It was dead silent for a minute before almost everyone started laughing uncontrollably. Clint fell out of his chair. Natasha threw her head back in laughter while Tony was bent over laughing the loudest. Bruce was chuckling softly mostly at Steve’s reaction. “It’s not funny!”

“You walked in on her…” Clint started trying to get up only to start laughing again.

“Oh Cap. I don’t remember the last time I laughed that hard. My cheeks hurt.” Tony said smiling. “Erotic Media…”

“It’s not funny Tony. This is serious. Is it really appropriate for her to be looking at things like that?” Steve said.

“Calm down Grandpa. It’s perfectly natural and healthy…” Natasha started.

“But she’s a…” Steve started before Natasha gave him a look and if looks could kill, his next words might sign his death sentence.

“She’s a what Steve?” Natasha said daring him to continue.

“Uh… She… UH…” he started.

“Oh man I can’t believe I have to miss the rest of this but if I’m late for dinner Pepper is not going to be happy.” Tony said. “Just… So what exactly…”

“Tony.” Bruce said shaking his head warning him not to keep talking before nodding to where Natasha was still glaring at Steve.

“Never mind. See you later.” Tony said taking his phone out and making sure Jarvis would record dinner for him.

“Uh… Can I be excused?” Steve said trying to get away as well. Mostly to avoid the embarrassment.

After Dinner…

I was too into what was going on in Westeros to even notice the awkward sex education catch up session happening downstairs over dinner. I was getting near the end of the first season when Jarvis paused the TV.

“Miss Marin, Agent Barton is at your door and is asking your permission to come in.” Jarvis said.

That was weirdly formal of him.

“Uh sure.” I said. Clint came in cautiously walking in holding a plate and a glass of juice.

“Hey, you didn’t come down for dinner so I brought you a plate.” He said.

“Oh. Thanks.” I said taking the plate and glass.

“Uh…” Clint glanced at the TV before his eyes widened. “Is that Game of Thrones?”

“Yeah I started watching it from the beginning and lost track of time.” I said. “You a fan?”

“Uh yeah. Scoot.” He said gesturing for me to move over a bit so he could sit on the bed too. I did as he asked and started the Tv again. “I got to the second to last episode of the first season before I got called away on a mission and fell behind so no spoilers.”

“I promise I won’t tell you how it all ends.” I said.

“You know how it ends?” Clint asked.

“I’m from ten years in the future in another universe.” I said.

“No spoilers.” He said again. “Wait… you’ve been watching this all day?”

“Yeah. I was in the mood to binge watch something.” I said and Clint started laughing. “Am I missing something?”

“Oh nothing.” Clint said with a grin.

Twenty Minutes Later…

Natasha had finished drilling Steve about how much sexual norms had changed since his time when she decided to go find her best friend only to find him in the last place she expected him to be.

“I never thought I could hate someone that isn’t real as much as I hate Joffrey.” Clint commented.

“That’s why incest is illegal in 47 states.” I said.

“47?” Clint asked in disbelief.

“At least in my world.” I said.

“Ew.” Clint said.

“What’s going on here?” Natasha asked.

“Game of Thrones Marathon.” I said just as another sex seen came on.

“Hanna started rewatching in and I’m trying to catch up.” Clint said.

“This is what you’ve been doing all day?” Natasha asked before laughing.

“I really don’t get what’s so funny about that.” I said. Clint and Natasha looked at each other.

“Steve walked in and thought you were watching porn.” Natasha said.

I looked at her wondering if she was serious but she really was. Then I started laughing.

“Okay that’s pretty funny. Did he freak out?” I asked.

“Not as bad as when Nat started giving him the sex talk.” Clint said.

“Aw I missed that?” I said laughing.

“That’s what happens when you don’t come down for dinner.” Natasha said sitting down on the other side of the bed.

“Did he really think I was…” I started.

“He didn’t call it porn. He called it… what was the word he used?” Clint asked.

“Erotic media.” Natasha said.

“Wow, he’s that old school.” I said.

“Did they have porn in the 40’s?” Clint asked.

“Pretty sure there’s always been some kind of porn around.” I said.

“Maybe not as graphic.” Natasha said as a scene came up.