Chapter 17
I had a nap. Not particularly restful one but I did sleep a bit. It didn’t make me feel better. Not even my talk with Bruce made me feel even the slightest bit better.
The fact was I was a mess not matter what universe I was in.
I never fit in, in the other world. I was the one trying to keep a family that didn’t want to be together, together. I was the third wheel in a friendship. I was the one that fixed everyone else’s problems because I could never fix what really mattered. I was always on the outside looking in even when I was smack dab in the middle of it all. I never fit.
My old world was better without me in it and this universe proved it.
Feeling like everyone was better off with you dead felt horrible but seeing actual living proof that that feeling is actually a fact felt worse. Way worse.
I thought I was alone staring at the ceiling but I wasn’t.
“You’re awake.” Natasha said standing at the foot of my bed.
“Can you not?” I said pulling the blanket over my head.
“We should talk.” She said.
“I’m all talked out.” I said.
“Hanna.” Natasha started but I ignored her.
“Hanna.” She said more firmly before sighing. “Dinner should be ready in 20 minutes you should come down.”
With that she walked out closing the door behind her.
“Jarvis don’t let anyone in.” I said.
“I’m sorry Miss but new protocols prevent me from doing so.” Jarvis said.
“Well shit.” I said. “I’m guessing my usual secret exit route is not so secret anymore.”
“All ways in and out of the manor are completely monitored.” Jarvis answered.
“So I’m essentially a prisoner.” I said. “Great.”
“Perhaps a conversation over dinner could help improve your… situation.” Jarvis said.
“My situation.” I said before I started laughing and then laughter turned into crying. “I’m a situation. That’s… That’s fucking great.”
“Miss dinner is ready.” Jarvis said.
“Oh fuck off.” I said pulling the covers over my head.
Twenty Minutes Later…
Everyone was in the kitchen ready to start eating but were waiting on the one person they all needed to talk to.
“Tony did you call Hanna?” Steve asked.
“Jarvis?” Tony asked.
“Sir I have notified Miss Marin.” Jarvis said.
“And?” Tony asked.
“After I conveyed your wishes to discuss the situation she asked for me to… bugger off.” Jarvis said.
“Bugger off?” Clint asked confused.
“He’s editing.” Tony said groaning. “You called her a situation?”
“My protocols are not clear on how to address the… situation.” Jarvis said.
“Great.” Natasha said.
“What are we going to do?” Steve said. “How do people with this sort of thing?”
“This sort of thing?” Natasha said. “She’s depressed.”
“We didn’t have this sort of thing in the 40’s.” Steve said.
“Yes you did they just didn’t call it depression.” Bruce said.
“And normally any mental health issues were handled with electroshock therapy or lobotomies.” Tony said. “And before you ask they don’t work.”
“So what are we supposed to do?” Steve asked.
“She doesn’t want to talk, She doesn’t want to leave her room unless its to go to a bar…” Clint said.
“She doesn’t want to go to therapy again.” Bruce added.
Natasha had enough and went upstairs. Only to her surprise Hanna wasn’t there.
“Hanna?” She called out. Before going to look in the bathroom. “Jarvis where’s Hanna?”
“I am not sure Miss Romanoff.” Jarvis said.
“Guys…” She called out running downstairs. “Hanna’s gone.”
“Jarvis?” Tony called out.
“I am afraid I do not know where Miss Marin has gone off to.” Jarvis said.
“I thought you said she was being monitored?” Steve said.
“Jarvis was supposed to…” Tony said
Hours Later…
The one upside to my problems is that I have a tendency to overthink everything. Normally it’s a pain in the ass but when your mind starts to wander you start to ask questions and when you have an AI that listens and happily answers any and all questions you may have you tend to go down a lot of rabbit holes.
My friends in another world used to say that my head was filled with random, weird and pointless facts. I was that one person at a part that could comment on anything because I knew at least one thing about everything. I had perfect recall of many conversations they forgot about years ago.
Today one of these little tangents came in handy. A few days after we got to the manor I was up late one night and decided to ask Jarvis about how he worked and his settings and if he followed Asimov’s laws.
From there he basically let me read all of his base protocols and everything Tony had added later on.
Most of it was pretty basic like not spying on people when they’re on the toilet. Not letting anyone use him to spy on others…
It’s because of these protocols that I figured out how to sneak out of the mansion to go to the bar without anyone noticing.
Anyway there was no way I was going to sit through an intervention dinner. I wasn’t in the mood for it and if Bruce had relayed to them everything I had told him we would just spend the night going in circles.
I couldn’t leave the house but then I remembered a protocol I read. On that Tony had probably added at some point when he was hiding from Pepper to avoid work or to avoid a one night stand the morning after. Basically Jarvis isn’t allowed to tell anyone who is in the garage/lab. Even if they specifically ask he won’t say anything. From there the only thing I had to figure out was the code to get in. All locked areas in the house had personalized codes and all locks had a default code.
In less than three tries I got in. I snooped around trying to figure out where Tony kept his snacks. I found a few granola bars and his stash of top shelf liquor. This place really was Candyland.
I poured myself a glass of expensive looking Japanese Whiskey to sip on while I laid back in the roadster. Jarvis dimmed the lights and played some music while everyone was upstairs freaking out about where I was.
It was a few hours later that Tony wandered in frustrated and annoyed. DUMME and U started beeping and booping to get his attention.
“Not now you useless scrap of metal.” Tony fussed throwing something loudly onto the lab table. U started beeping wildly. “Do you do anything besides yap?”
“Hey be nice to them.” I said sitting up in the roadster.
“Hanna? What… how did you…” He started.
“Jarvis isn’t allowed to tell anyone who’s in your lab.” I said taking a sip of whiskey.
“You don’t have a passcode.” Tony said.
“I used the default code.” I said.
“The default isn’t 0-0-0-0.” He said.
“It’s your birthday.” I said surprising him. “Also tried Pepper’s birthday, December 16th too but I should have known it wasn’t that one.”
“You’ve been here the whole time? You do know we’ve been looking everywhere for you.” Tony said.
“I figured. I wasn’t really in the mood for a lecture.” I said taking another sip. “By the way you have an amazing whiskey collection. I never tried Japanese Whiskey before but it does live up to the hype.”
“You’re drinking again.” He said.
“Oh don’t give me that. I’ve seen you do way worse and this is my first glass.” I said.
“First of many.” He said.
“First one. I don’t like getting drunk on whiskey. Worst hangover of all. Not to mention Whiskey and Scotch are meant to be sipped and savored.” I said offering him the bottle before I saw the tag. “Oh and Happy Late Birthday.”
“Thanks.” He said taking it before opening the door to the roadster. “Scoot.”
I didn’t say anything but moved over. Tony poured himself a glass and took a sip.
“Damn that is good.” He said.
“This place is a lot bigger than they make to look in the movies.” I said as DUMME and U beeped at each other. “And they’re louder.”
“Didn’t think that part through.” He said. “But I’m not the only one that didn’t think things through.”
“I could actually argue the opposite. There was a lot of thought before the big jump.” I said.
“This isn’t funny.” He said.
“I never said it was.” I said. “You know it’s really easy to judge when you really don’t know anything about me or what my life was like before coming here.”
“Okay so tell me about it. What was so bad you wanted to jump off a building?” Tony said.
“I never fit.” I said. “I could honestly genuinely say there was no place in the word for me. Not in my family, not with my friends, work… and as it turns out they were actually better off without me. This whole universe proved it.”
“They are not better off without you.” He said.
“Trust me they are.” I said. “As messy and douchy as they are here it is still better than the way they were before. They could actually stand to be in the same room as each other. They could laugh at each other’s back handed compliments and while my sister in law does probably have a drug problem here at least she’s a high functioning drug addict.”
“How bad did it get?” Tony asked.
“Bad.” I said remembering the times I had to walk through homeless encampments and heroin dens with my months old nephew in my arms. The time I was almost too late with the Naloxone. “My friend used to have this mantra. It’s just a bad day not a bad life. For me it was a bad life without a doubt.”
“That was in a different universe you’re here now.” Tony said. “Maybe what didn’t work before will here.”
“I’m not doing that again.” I said.
“You have to do something.” Tony said. “Because maybe right now you don’t want to jump off that roof again but what about a few months from now, years?”
“That’s a problem for later.” I said.
“And what about us?” He asked.
“It doesn’t involve you guys. This situation is my problem not yours.” I said.
“We’re your soulmates.” Tony said.
“I’m sorry you got a defective soulmate.” I said. “Odds are this is a fluke. Look a mathematical algorithm in my world calculated that the odds of meeting your perfect match is 1 in 10,000, adding to that geographic location it bumps it down 9,890 so out in the world in your entire life you are going to meet 110 people that are practically perfect for you.”
“That makes sense.” Tony said with a far off look on his face. “110 huh?”
“Just about.” I answered.
“huh…” he said before suddenly I felt a sharp pain on my left thumb.
“Ow!” I said looking at my thumb seeing a mark but no idea how I got it. Then I turned to Tony who had pricked his thumb with a pin. “What was that for?”
“What are the odds that one of those 110 people would feel that?” he said. “And if you feel that what do you think the rest of us will feel if you decide to jump off another roof or any other thing you decide to do?”
“That’s a low blow.” I said.
“Doesn’t make it any less true.” He said. “You need help. I get it didn’t work before but things are different now. Hanna you crashed into me at the exact moment I was falling out of a wormhole in the middle of an alien invasion. You saw color for the first time in your life after you met us all, I know it’s hard to believe but this is real. We’re your soulmates so if you’re not going to get help for yourself can’t you at least consider doing it for us?”
“It didn’t work before it’s not going to work.” I said.
“Then we keep trying until we find something that does.” He said. “We took a leap of faith believing you about Hydra so take one on us and let us try to help you.”
“I’m not going back to therapy.” I said.
“Why are you so stubborn?!” he groaned.
“I’ll go to therapy when you go.” I said.
“Done.” He said.
“Seriously?” I said.
“If it gets you there, I’ll lay down on a therapist’s couch and complain.” Tony said.
“And you’ll really try?” I said. “Even when they started saying really stupid condescending things like ‘How does that make you feel?’”
“I’ll go every time you go.” Tony said. “In fact, Jarvis book us both appointments with the best shrinks in the area.”
“Of course sir.” Jarvis said.
“Well if we’re really doing this...” I said pouring myself another glass of whiskey. “One last hurrah.”
“You’re being dramatic but pour me another one too.” Tony said.
Many Drinks Later…
“Okay Never have I ever gone sky diving.” Tony said.
“Does jumping off a building an free falling count?” I asked.
“No.” He said.
“Then no.” I said while Tony drank. “Okay you need to do better because I haven’t had any sips in so long I’m practically sober.”
“Then stop talking yourself out of all of them.” He said. “Okay I got one. Never have I ever had sex.”
Tony took a sip but I didn’t.
“No.” he said in disbelief.
“I did tell you I was chronically single.” I said.
“What does that have to do with…” Tony started.
“I’m not just going to jump into bed with the first random dude that comes along.” I said.
“He didn’t have to be random. You dated.” He said.
“They never got more than one date.” Is aid.
“I don’t buy that.” he said.
“I’m serious.” I said.
“So am I. Blondie you’re…well.” He started.
“Well what?” I asked.
“Have you looked in a mirror? You are really hot.” He said and I laughed. “Don’t laugh I’m serious.”
“Thanks.” I said still laughing.
“Okay this you had to have done. Never have I ever been kissed.” He said and that I did drink to. “I thought you said you didn’t have a boyfriend?”
“Best friend, actually how we met. I was at a bar… yes I know.” I said. “Anyway my sister in law was on her first sobriety kick and I had the night off for the first time in a year. So I’m at a bar and this guy just comes up to me and plants one on me.”
“What?!” He said.
“Totally caught me by surprise.” I said. “When he finally pulled away he’s apologizing to me and begging for my forgiveness. I’m still in shock so I sit him down make him chug a beer and explain what the hell he was doing kissing strangers. Turns out he was going through a bit of an existential crisis. He had feelings for his roommate, a guy and had never felt anything for his longtime girlfriend so he was trying to figure out if it was just her or if he really was… turns out he was really into guys and not girls. And that’s how I met Theo.”
“That’s how you met your best friend?” Tony said.
“Yeah. That story didn’t really age well. If he wasn’t on the verge of tears when he started talking I totally would have kicked in the gonads.” I said.
“You would have had to get in line.” Tony said tucking a lock of hair behind my ear.
“What are you doing?” I asked amused.
“Oh nothing just…” he started looking down at my lips weirdly and I just started laughing. “Trying a thing. It’s not happening is it?”
“No.” I said. “Not really the time for it and you’re a light weight so…”
“I’m the light weight?” Tony said amused.
“I’m not the one trying to pull a move straight out of the 80’s.” I said.
“I’m not…. But I mean if we weren’t drinking and we were out say maybe…” He started.
“Okay I think that’s a sign we need to call it a night.” I said.
“But we were getting somewhere.” He whined.
“Save it for your therapist old man.” I teased.
“Age doesn’t really matter with soulmates.” Tony retorted.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” I asked.
“Oh there’s a lot more to the soulmate thing than just colors.” Tony said and I just looked at him confused.