Chapter 27
Yelena falls asleep on the couch that night, her palm stinging from where she cut it on the knife. She didn’t want to heal it like the first vow. This vow was different and Yelena wanted to remember that it was real. The stinging reminded her that Layla promised to help her find her sister when everything was alright.
Yelena falls asleep as some movie Layla insisted they watch played on the television. Layla had been sitting at Yelena’s feet as she lay across the couch, still tired from being revived. She never really questioned how long Khonshu would pilot her body around and wondered if he would make sure she was nearly one hundred percent better before giving her back control, unlike Osiris.
But Layla gives her another hoodie and a blanket and the lights are out and for some reason Yelena feels safe enough to sleep.
She has a dream that is familiar but at the same time feels wrong. There’s a knife in her abdomen and she’s surrounded by bodies and she’s filled with the fear of death, the temple cold and damp. She’s been here hundreds of times before, she’s relived her death and the start of her new life.
But she doesn’t crumple under the weight of the blade. It doesn’t hurt and Yelena doesn’t have to finish killing the man before he falls under what would have been Yelena’s killing blow. It’s all wrong and fear creeps across Yelena’s back.
She pulls the knife from her side, frowning at the lack of blood gushing out as usual. She takes a careful step forward, her brow furrowing when she doesn’t buckle under the pain and blood loss that she remembered.
Yelena moves up to the steps where she’s peering up at Khonshu’s statue. The statue is still lit up by that ray of moonlight and Yelena swallows hard before she lowers herself to her knees in front of it.
She figures that praying in front of his shrine can’t hurt anything. She dips her head down and basks in the warm glow of the moonlight and prays.
A familiar feeling of security washes over her and she hears the sound of a rustle. She jerks up, spinning around so hard she stumbles back onto her butt.
“Khonshu…” She breathes out with wide eyes as she stares up at her God as he loomed over her in a way that had never failed to make her feel protected. “Are you-- are you real?” She demands, afraid of the answer she would receive.
“I do not have much time, my child,” Khonshu tells her, ducking his head down, and the sound of his familiar rumble has tension bleeding out of Yelena’s shoulders. “I apologize for my disappearance.”
“Where are you?” Yelena demands, pulling herself up to her feet quickly and moves forward. Her fingers graze the material of his cloak and she realizes that he’s really real. “You left me.”
“I need your help, my child,” Khonshu grips her shoulder, his hand covers her back and Yelena resists the urge to lean into it because this isn’t Khonshu comforting her when she’s distressed, this is Khonshu needing her. “You must find the avatar of Apep and when the moon is high in the sky, you must deliver a killing blow.”
Yelena is trying to take in the new information being told to her. “Where have you been?” She repeats. “I’ve met their avatar, they tried to kill me.” She tugs at her shirt to show the scar off before frowning when she realizes that she’s dreaming and her body is different. “I went to the Gods, the avatar of Tawaret helped me call a meeting. They killed me trying to call for you. I don’t know where you’ve been--”
Yelena falls quiet when he tightens his grip. “You must focus, Yelena.” He rumbles and the sound of her first name has Yelena jolting at the seriousness of the situation. “Find the avatar. Kill her under the moon. Call for me. Do you understand?”
Yelena nods her head. “Find the avatar of Apep. Kill her when the moon is out. Pray for you.” She has so many questions but she knows that she will not get any answers from him.
Khonshu crouches down, one bandaged hand moving to cup the side of her face. “I believe in you, my avatar. The road has been rough but I have not abandoned you. You are mine, forever now and always.”
His words wash over her with a sense of relief and Yelena leans into the large hand. “I have missed you, Khonshu.” She breathes out. Here she feels safer than ever and she doesn’t want to leave. He wanted her to know that he didn’t abandon her. He’s still there.
“You are my warrior of the night. There was never any doubt that you will do what needs to be done,” Khonshu pulls away and straightens and Yelena nearly stumbles in an attempt to follow the touch she so desperately missed. “If Apep should manage to gain the upper hand, if our connection is severed, you are to stay with Tawaret.”
Fear jolts through Yelena. “I don’t--”
“You will be safe with her.” Khonshu continues, tapping his staff. “She will look after you.” He inclines his head as if Yelena was a child that needed looking after and not a twenty-year-old desperate for him to not leave her.
“But she won’t--” Yelena starts, falling silent when Khonshu taps her hand with his staff to bring it up for him to see. The unhealed gash across her palm showing her vow with Layla has him inclining his head as if he knew that Yelena had been with Tawaret and her avatar. She wonders if Khonshu knew exactly what had been happening. He turns to leave.
“I need you!” Yelena can’t help but lurch forward to grab onto him as he turns. “You can’t leave me!”
“It is I that needs you, my child,” Khonshu spoke quietly. “My avatar. My warrior. My White Knight.” His staff taps her wrist and a burning pain stings her skin, making her let go. With that, he disappears, slipping through Yelena’s fingers like sand as he melts into the shadows and Yelena is alone again.
Yelena is desperate for a reminder that he’s there. “Khonshu?” She whispers. The feeling of safety and security that had come with him is gone.
Yelena jerks awake on the couch, gasping for air as she peers around wildly.
“Woah-- hey, it’s okay, you’re safe,” Layla is there, holding her hands out. She looked like she had fallen asleep on the couch as well, her hair was frizzy and eyes were bleary.
“Khonshu?” Yelena mumbled, scanning the room for any sign of her God. Her wrist itches and she scratches at it, noticing the odd feeling on her skin. She pushes up the sleeve of the hoodie and stares down at black ink now on her skin in the form of a crescent moon.
Yelena stares down at the new mark on her wrist, running her fingers along the weird texture on her scarred skin. The ink doesn’t rub away.
“What is that?” Layla questioned leaning forward to inspect the new mark with a frown.
“A sign from my God,” Yelena breathed out, new determination running through her. It was real. It really was Khonshu. He hadn’t abandoned her. “I have a new mission. I need your help.”
“You have it.” Layla replies without hesitation. Yelena glances at her, wondering if Tawaret knew of the conversation she held with Khonshu.
It didn’t matter though. Yelena was going to help Khonshu and have him come back. He would come back and protect her and keep her safe just as he always did.
He can’t leave like everybody else. It’s not fair. Yelena just wants someone who will stay. He is her God and she is his child, his avatar, his warrior, his White Knight.
She needs him. She needs to be needed, she needs to be wanted. If she’s no use to anyone then there is no point in keeping her around.
She knows that. She tries so hard to prove that she’s worth keeping but it’s hard and tiring. She promised to help Layla. They have vows to follow through. But when everything is done, Layla will leave.
It’s a pattern. It’s what happens. Everyone leaves sooner or later.
Yelena has gotten used to that.