Chapter 28
It’s the middle of the night and Layla is making hot cocoa on the stove, Yelena slumped in on herself as she sits on the counter to wait. Layla had told her that they needed a warm drink before they talked and Yelena obliged, waiting patiently.
Layla sneaks glances at the kid, watching as she runs her thumb along the new mark on her wrist. Layla figured that it was a reassurance that her God hadn’t abandoned her. That didn’t mean that Layla liked him any more than before, Yelena had literally died when he wasn’t there.
“Is Tawaret here?” Yelena’s voice startled Layla slightly. She paused, turning to glance over her shoulder.
“No. But she can be,” Layla frowned, watching Yelena stare down at her arm. “Do you need her?”
Ever since the kid woke up, she’s been spacey. Layla thinks that seeing her God impacted her more than it should have. Yelena is irritating the skin around the black ink on her wrist from how much she’s rubbing at the skin as if it’ll wipe away like a cruel joke.
“Not immediately,” Yelena slowly shakes her head. Her eyes are fixated on the tattoo, her lips pursed as she pops her thumb into her mouth to get it wet and then rubs at it a little harder.
Layla focuses on finishing up the hot cocoa, dumping a handful of marshmallows before she slides it in front of Yelena. “Here you go. Just what you need.” The yawn slips from her mouth before she can help herself.
Yelena wrapped her fingers around the mug and just spends a few moments absorbing the warmth. Layla sips on her own, her eyes sliding shut at the sweet taste. The kitchen was quiet as they sipped on their drinks.
Surprisingly, Yelena finishes first, draining the mug and setting it down before she delves into what had happened. She waited to finish her drink, just as Layla had asked, so Layla leans on the counter with her half-finished mug and listened.
It’s a little morbid and a lot concerning when Yelena details her very first death. She skims over it mostly but the way she lists how there wasn’t any pain or how she didn’t have to kill anyone was concerning. When Yelena finished, she looked up at Layla.
Layla has a few questions, mainly about Khonshu, but all that manages to leave her mouth is, “do you dream about your death often?”
Yelena blinks at her a few times as if she hadn’t expected that question and to be fair, Layla didn’t mean to ask it.
“Only the first one,” The kid shrugged as if it was no big deal that she was reliving her death constantly in her dreams. “It usually turns out okay. Khonshu is always there when I wake up and he’ll keep me calm.”
Layla frowned. “Does--” She starts to ask about if Khonshu knows that she is having night terrors about dying but Yelena cuts her off.
“Is Tawaret here?” She asked again and Layla shakes her head.
“Tawaret.” She called out, glancing to where her Goddess liked to linger. Tawaret gives her a wide smile when she sees her.
“That’s me!” She gives a little bow. Layla nodded toward the kid and Tawaret turned toward her.
Yelena turned when she saw Layla looking at Tawaret. Yelena is looking up into the air at the Goddess, a little unsure of where she stood and Layla has to admit that she has pretty good judgment but she’s looking a little higher than Tawaret’s head.
“Tawaret,” Yelena greets her, her voice soft and polite. “Were you able to hear what Khonshu told me regarding you?”
It was the first that Layla was hearing about Khonshu mentioning her patron.
“No,” Tawaret frowned slightly. “Is everything okay?”
“She’s confused,” Layla supplies for Yelena, waiting for Yelena to explain.
Yelena sets the mug down, sliding off of the chair, and bends slightly in a bow. Layla straightens at the formal move, watching as Tawaret’s face softens with worry. “Khonshu asked that you look after me should anything happen to him. He said you will keep me safe and you will look after me.”
Layla’s heart sinks at the words. Did Khonshu not know what would happen to Yelena if he left her? The kid was barely holding on without him but after her meeting with the Gods, it became clear that without the support of Khonshu, Yelena may very well possibly die. Khonshu brought her back from the dead. Did he know what leaving will do? Was he okay with that? How could he put that on her?
“Easy there, my little scarab,” Tawaret is suddenly in front of her, her hands framing Layla’s face. “Breathe.”
Layla blinks a few times, forcing herself to take a deep breath. She’s going to freak out the kid and she doesn’t want to do that. “Sorry.” She hadn’t even noticed herself spiral.
“Drink,” Tawaret urged and Layla reached toward the lukewarm mug of cocoa still in front of her. The sweetness helps ground her a little.
“I’m sorry,” She repeats again, this time to Yelena. The kid is watching her with a frown, looking like she wants to do something to help but is unsure of what. “I’m okay. Just… get stuck in my own head sometimes.”
Yelena gives her a knowing nod. “I do too.”
“What… what do you do when it happens?” Layla asked curiously. Yelena shuffled around the counter to stand next to her.
“Khonshu usually helps,” Yelena slowly reaches out to set a hand on her shoulder. Layla tries not to laugh at how unsure Yelena looked at providing comfort. “I like it when he taps his staff against the ground. Sometimes he’ll show me constellations or he’ll have me transcribe hieroglyphs.”
“And that helps?” Layla frowns slightly. Tawaret had never done anything like that for her but she also hadn’t gone through the things that Yelena had.
“Yes. It gives me something to focus on. A reminder that he is there.” Yelena smiles slightly. “I like it when he looms over me like a shield. He’s always watching from the corners and he’s there without me needing to call most of the time.”
Khonshu sounded more involved in Yelena’s life than Tawaret was with hers. “How often do you see him?”
“All the time,” Yelena’s smile dropped into a scowl. “Until recently.”
That reminded Layla of what she had interrupted. She glanced over at Tawaret to see what her Goddess had to say about what Yelena had told her.
Tawaret looked deep in thought, her eyes watching them closely. “Layla, can I take over for a moment?”
Layla straightened slightly, nodding her head before looking down at Yelena. “Tawaret wants to talk to you.”
Yelena straightened as well, nodding her head.
Layla shivered when Tawaret steps closer and into her frame. She watches as Tawaret immediately takes a step toward Yelena.
“Do not fear, little one,” Tawaret hums, cupping Yelena’s face with Layla’s hands. “It would be my honor to look after you.”
“I’m not a child that needs looking after,” Yelena immediately pulled away from Tawaret’s hands, her face turning red in anger.
“Yelena, Khonshu entrusted you with me,” Tawaret doesn’t let Yelena pull away, grabbing her hand. “Do you know what it means for a God to trust another God with their avatar?”
Yelena paused, looking down at their clasped hands. “No…” She said slowly.
Tawaret smiles at her, the bandaged slice on Layla’s hand lining up with the one on Yelena’s. “You would be my avatar should something happen to him.”
“You already have an avatar,” Yelena pointed out. “And I’m not taking you away from Layla.”
“There have been cases where Gods are allowed to have multiple avatars. This would be one,” Tawaret tucks a strand of hair out of Yelena’s face. “I promise you, Yelena Belova, Avatar of Khonshu, that shall your God break your connection that you will be mine.”
Yelena’s eyes grow wide at the promise from a Goddess. Her breath hitched, her lower lip wobbling for a second and Layla thought that she might cry. Yelena instead clenched her jaw, swallowing hard, and gives a tiny nod.
Tawaret lets out a chuckle. “You do a lot of good. You help a lot of women and children. I hear their prayers. I hear their thanks. I have heard a lot about you, White Widow. White Knight. They thank me for sending you.”
“Don’t lie to me,” Yelena croaked out.
“You shouldn’t accuse Gods of lying, little one,” Tawaret chides with an amused hum. “You are worth more than what they made you.”
“I am a killer,” Yelena whispered. “My ledger is dripping with red. I’ve killed-- I’ve killed a lot of women and children.”
“You were but a child yourself,” Tawaret tenderly brushed her hand over Yelena’s cheek. “Killing is a necessary evil. One life for dozens. A warrior of the night indeed.”
“I am not a good person,” Yelena looked so sure of the fact.
“Weighing your heart on the Scales of Justice proves different,” Tawaret reminded her before pulling away. “You are worthy, Yelena Belova. Do not let anyone tell you different.”
“Wait--” Yelena reached out but Tawaret leaves Layla. Layla stumbled forward, crashing into Yelena. Yelena catches her, holding her up. “Close your eyes and hold your breath for a few seconds, it helps.” She spoke to Layla.
Layla does so, gripping onto Yelena as she gets used to the abrupt control thrust back into her grasp. It helps a lot more than the past times when Tawaret had taken control. “Does Khonshu take control of you often?”
“Each time I die. He’ll take my body somewhere safe,” Yelena nods her head. Layla paused at that, unaware that Gods could just… take over dead bodies. She pulled away, straightening up and finishing the rest of the cocoa from her mug that had since gone cold.
“So. You mentioned a new mission from your God. What are our first steps?” She questioned.
Yelena blinked up at her a few times. “I’m leading?”
“It’s your mission,” Layla points out, wondering if she was missing something.
“You don’t care if you’re being led by someone who looks like a child?” Yelena eyed her suspiciously.
“I trust you,” Layla shrugs, wondering if she said something wrong when Yelena tensed up. “This is your God. I trust you know what to do first.”
Yelena slowly nods before she takes a deep breath, drawing herself up. “Okay. First step is to track down the avatar of Apep and then follow her. The next full moon is in…” She paused as she counts and Layla can see her confident demeanor falter. “Twelve days. He said when the moon was out but a full moon should help more… right?”
“He’s your God, Yelena. Not mine,” Layla said apologetically.
“He said when it was high in the sky. Midnight on a full moon,” Yelena runs her thumb along the mark on her wrist. “We have plenty of time but a small window of opportunity.”
“So what’s first?” Layla asked. Yelena takes a few moments to think.
“I have to go look at some magazines,” She replies. The answer makes no sense to Layla but she trusts the kid to know what she was doing.
“Let’s go then.”