One More Time
Tsukasa awoke bright and early, there was only a bit of sunlight pooling into the cottage from the window. Tsukasa got up and rubbed the sleep out of his eyes
He walked towards the kitchen and spotted Rui brewing himself some tea, the scene was serene and ethereal. The warm sun lightly lighting up the room and falling on the other just right
Tsukasa never thought he'd see something like this, usually only paintings depicted such a scene. He was lucky to be able to experience such a view in real life. He was sure if this were to be painted, it would be one of, if not, the most beautiful painting anyone would ever lay their eyes on
Maybe it's because Tsukasa hadn't met another person before, he was never truly able to witness the magnificence of other human being's beauty. No matter how odd they may have looked
It was true, by the Kingdom of Light's standards, Rui was weird looking. His purple hair and cyan streaks were already enough to look... Off, and his yellow eyes were somewhat acceptable, although the eye bags were not.
In other words, despite his odd looks, he was kind and that was all that mattered. He was nice enough to let Tsukasa stay and generous enough to let him sleep on his couch for the night
He would have to admit, though, it was a bit uncomfortable. Luckily, it was him on the couch and not Rui. He didn't want Rui to experience being uncomfortable for his sake. He knew if Rui had found out he was a Royal there would be a lot of confusion and misconceptions
After all, he was a lesser known Royal in the family. The Tenmas were known far and wide, however, he was kept hidden for his own safety.
Sadly, even when Tsukasa was known—it wasn't for his acting ability or anything of that sort. He was known for his magic. He found it ridiculous how they could focus on his magic alone but not once do they think of the person who holds the magic
He sat down, solemnly looking at the food on his plate. He wanted to stay here, to stay away from the confines of his tower, to live life freely as he wanted. "Is something wrong? Is the food not to your liking?" Tsukasa shook his head and sighed, lowering his head before picking up his spoon and eating a spoonful of the porridge placed before him
"I'd have to go after this..." Tsukasa mumbled, the porridge tasted good. It wasn't the best he's tasted, but it was still good nonetheless. After all, he was used to a life of luxury and gourmet foods everyday
"The meal you cooked... It was nice, thank you" Rui said, Tsukasa smiled. He was always told his smile could light up a room, saying how bright it was, how warm it felt. "Why of course! A star such as myself should be able to cook as such!" Rui chuckled ever so slightly, "Fufufu~ but of course, aha~" Tsukasa and Rui laughed together, it was nice finally having a friend, for the both of them.
Tsukasa waved goodbye after thanking Rui one last time, he walked through the forest and made it back to his tower. The sun was only rising and nobody was to be awake yet.
He climbed up the rope and hid it under his bed, sitting down, he exhaled deeply. "Hahaha..." He laughed, remembering the fun he had when he was outside. It was pathetic, really.
Knock.
Knock..
Knock...
Tsukasa looked up and headed for the door, he swung it open to find his three siblings standing with serious looks on their faces. He tilted his head in confusion and they pushed him into the room while entering himself
"Where were you?!" Saki said, it was obvious she'd been crying. Her eyes were red and bleary as new tears started to form
Toya looked concerned, he was probably worried over Tsukasa's health. Kanade had the same stoic expression, however, Tsukasa couldn't shake the feeling of uneasiness looking at her
"I..." Toya cut him off, "You... You went out, didn't you?" Tsukasa replied not, he couldn't. He merely nodded in defeat. "Ask us for help next time. We'd happily oblige" Kanade spoke, Tsukasa looked up with a surprised face, help?
Saki and Toya nodded in unison, obviously agreeing with Kanade. "Yes, we will help you. We know you want out and it's completely unreasonable to keep you in here" Kanade spoke again, Tsukasa smiled softly. He thanked his siblings and they walked out of the room
He returned to the window and gazed out, it was beautiful. He watched the treetops as birds flew, as the small creatures roamed, he wished to be free like them one day
To bask in the glory of sunlight out of this wretched tower, the gray bricks looked so... Bland to him. He's painted every crevace and wall of this damned tower. It was his own personal cage, an illusion of freedom and free will
He wondered if Rui was free, living alone in a cottage deep into the forest must've been nice. Not having to worry about anyone or anything, he'd kill for a life like that. He'd kill for just an ounce of freedom to leave this tower he was raised in.
He was born and raised in this tower, he refused to die here too.
He could've been living his life outside, playing in the royal gardens with his siblings, not a worry in the world. Except, he was seen as a valuable asset. Sure, they kept him safe, but what was safe if not free? Freedom was what Tsukasa yearned for, to feel the grass on his feet once more, to bask in the moonlight again.
He wondered if one day, on one faithful day, would he escape. If he'd ever make it out again, if his siblings would actually make good on their word and help him sneak out. God forbid he were to be caught, he would most likely be locked up in this tower.
He looked out, and began to sing. A little tune he's sung over and over, the repetitive tunes he sung over and over, the notes he knew well. His mother used to sing this to him.
Musical melodies danced through the winds; they said Tsukasa's voice was divine. Extraordinary, they would exclaim. He wished to sing in front of a crowd, a crowd of strangers, he had known at a young age he loves to make people smile.
He smiled to himself as he hummed his little tune, a smile on his face as he sung. He hoped that, maybe, his song would reach far out into the forest and reach the lonesome cottage deep within
He enjoyed spending time with Rui, although it was an odd predicament and their meeting was cut short. He was fine, he was alright, he didn't need anyone or anything.
He wished his mother was here to see this, he wished his mother could tell him how proud she was of how far he has come, he wished she was still here today.
"Shhh... Don't be angry. You're not like that anymore." He whispered to himself. He wasn't angry anymore, he wasn't a rage filled child anymore. Sometimes he was, sometimes his anger and rage would control him. He didn't want to hurt anyone again.
He missed when his mother was there to comfort him, whispering that it'd all be okay and that he was safe. What was safe if not free. She had died out of an illness that no medic knew how to cure, it was unfortunate Tsukasa couldn't heal her in time
Tragedy struck the palace upon her passing, Tsukasa turned to shambles and his siblings tried their best to comfort him, but to no avail.
He locked himself in his tower, he wouldn't open the door for anyone. He would sob into his pillow and stay in bed all day, it was difficult to deal with.
"Maybe... Mother, would you want me to leave?" Tsukasa asked the wind, he could swear he heard a faint yes but maybe it was simply his own personal desires wishing for him to flee
He knew all too well if he were to leave the tower and escape to the next kingdom, he'd be sure to have been executed or simply outcastes
His hair glowed faintly, in the day it was less visible. In the night, though, it was clearer and brighter
Maybe if he tried hard enough, he'd be able to escape. Maybe if he tried, just once more, he'd be able to live the life he truly yearned for. Free, free to live how he wanted.
His dreams were easily crushed, though. The responsibility of soon ruling the kingdom weighed heavy on his consciousness, he knew that Toya was still in training and wouldn't be able to handle the stress of ruling an entire kingdom. After all, he was much more occupied with something else at the moment. The rare moments Tsukasa was let our was to make watch of the knights as they trained
He often found Toya's view shifting over to a specific knight. Akito Shinonome.
Tsukasa watched as Toya would swoon over the young man. He was their age, somewhat decent looking, and wore this rather serious expression on his face. Tsukasa ought to tease him about it next time. He was sure that Toya wouldn't want anyone to find out he was in love with a knight, considering he, was a prince. And a extremely well known one, in fact.
Of the two, Toya was more known far and wide in the Kingdom of Light whereas Tsukasa was barely known at all. He was more of a last ditch effort if no healer were to cure a Royal's ailment. Tsukasa hated it. Being used for his ability, having no free will whatsoever, he wished death upon those who would try to use him in the near future. He wished death upon those who locked him up in this stone cage and mocked him for his lack of freedom.
"Mother..." His mother and siblings were the only things he actually loved in his life, they actually bothered to get to know him unlike everyone else who simply needed him for his ability. Tsukasa's mother never once asked Tsukasa for help about her illness even after her health had deteriorated. Every so often would he put on a show just for them, a show so wonderful it could rival the king's jester. In a way, Tsukasa felt like he was a jester as well
He didn't want to be a jester, he only wished to entertain and bring a smile to everyone's face. He did not wish to be looked down upon, he did not wish to be treated as less. He was more than that.
He knew he deserved more than he was given, he might've had all the finest foods and all the books there could ever be but he lacked freedom. The freedom to roam, the freedom to see, the freedom to feel.
"They say, a human is no human without freedom. A man is born with freedom, freedom to live. A man will die with freedom, the freedom to die. And a man that survives, a man that survives will have the freedom to roam."
His mother told him once, it had been long since she spoke to him. Her voice was barely even memorable anymore. He usually struggled with remembering things in the first place, it was only a matter of time
He only had faint memories of her, he wished he could've remembered more. He was pathetic, really. He couldn't even remember the voice of his mother? Disgraceful.
His family was happy, happy without him. Surely they'd be happy if he simple disappeared, right? Well, that's what he thought. It was true, the kingdom didn't even need him save for his healing ability. He hoped that if they did bury him, he'd be left alone in peace in the middle of the forest. He wished a little flower, as bright as the sun, sprouted upon where his body lay
Sometimes he'd watch the moon at night, when he couldn't sleep and the night was silent. It happened far more often than one could imagine, sometimes he'd make up little monsters in his head that made him terrified of even sleeping a wink.
Even closing his eyes, he'd see nightmarish faces and figures that clouded his mind. It was far less than ideal when you were trying to sleep at night
He sighed, slowly watching the birds as they flew. A cold breeze hung around, Tsukasa felt as if it was trying to tell him something. A bit silly wasn't it? Though, Tsukasa ought to have been used to this already. Maybe his life would've been better if he just... Ended it, sure his life wouldn't be all that better due to the ending it all but the little life left would've been happy knowing it would be over soon
Not a fun way to live, or maybe to die, either way, it wasn't fun. Except, Tsukasa was too shrouded in his own idiotic thoughts to think about that at the time
He knew dying wouldn't have been the best fate for him, he knew life had a plan for him. He didn't know why, but the thought that he was only kept alive for something he couldn't control made his skin crawl. The thought that he couldn't control something that played such an important role in his life made him cower in fear.
He wondered if death was kind, his family and relatives always spoke of death fondly. He often wondered if it was because they had a special connection to death and decay with their magic. Dark magic was a well known and far more useful magic compared to light, light was only known to be useful for healing. Tsukasa often scoffed when he saw or heard such stereotypes
The magic he held was beautiful, it was full of grace, it could create life. Creating life was a powerful magic, it needed concentration, it needed skill, and it needed patience. For the usual Dark Magic user, it was impossible. Alchemists could only alter, it could only change, it could only modify. Light Magic could create, it could form something new. He could create new things with just a move of his hand
He could make things, plants would sprout, the flowers he could grow were far more beautiful than any you could find. His magic was far from perfect, he found he couldn't revive the dead, he learned the hard way. He only wished his mother had told him of her illness, he knew if he had gotten to her, she'd still be alive today
He knew she did it for a reason, a child such as him shouldn't have been doing magic at that amount at such a young age. He was only 7 when she passed, he could only look upon her body in the casket with tears in his eyes. He could've done something.
"Mother... Why did you have to go?" He looked at the treetops again, a single spot was all he laid his eyes on. He could see faint smoke making its way through the leaves.
"Must be Rui" He murmured to himself, he stood up and walked away from the mirror and near the door. He slid out a little letter, requesting for his siblings.