Trick

Kate slowly got up from the flight. She’d left Lucky with Clint. She was pretty sure he hadn't realized that until he called her when she got off of her flight. “Hey.” Kate sighed, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes as she took her suitcase from the luggage holder above her seat. “Just got back to LaGuardia.” She muttered, yawning. Clint smiled for a moment at the sound. 

    “You forgot someone.” Clint said, his tone a little more serious. 

    “Nate said he’s been begging you for a dog since he could talk.” Kate replied with a small curl of her lips. “... and Lucky likes you better, anyway.” She added with a sigh as she stepped away from the plane hallway. 

    Clint sighed, and he looked at Lucky trotting around with Lila and Nate, both of them giggling. Laura’s features were sad when she looked down at the dog, and she looked up, meeting Clint’s eyes. Clint had taken comfort in the fact that at least Lucky would be able to watch over Kate. Now she was simply alone. He wished he hadn’t let her go. He wished she stayed. He missed riding the snowmobile out in the barn with her. They had acres of snowy land, and Clint had an old snowmobile in the barn. Lila and Nate loved it. In the week Kate had been staying with them, Clint taught her how to drive it. He missed seeing her so carefree when he drove her around on it. “I know, I just…” He sighed, and Kate frowned. He was worried. She walked out onto the streets beside the airport. She wanted to sleep in her own bed, even if she was utterly alone and knew no one in this city. “... I don’t like the idea of you all alone in that penthouse.” 

    “... I appreciate the concern.” She said, but her voice was sadder. Even if she didn’t say it, he knew she was used to being alone, and she wished she wasn’t. He realized her mother wasn’t a good mom. She groomed Kate to be sure that no one cared about her. She groomed Kate to value herself as nothing. “I’m a big girl, Clint.” She said in a mocking tone, walking down the city streets. 

    “I know, just…” She was making him sad. She felt guilty. “... you remind me of me when I was your age.” Clint shrugged. Kate held her phone as she walked. She glanced around. She was always wary when she walked on the streets at night alone. “I don’t want you to make the same mistakes I did.” 

    “I’m not a kid.” Kate replied. She sighed. There was so much he didn’t know about her. There was so much he’d been through that she couldn’t speak of. And there was a lie she told; technically, Kate was twenty two. If she subtracted the time that she had been blipped for, she was technically only seventeen. She didn’t tell Clint that because Kate knew he would have never let her fight with him if he knew she was still a minor… a literal kid, still a senior in high-school. 

    “You’re enough of a kid.” He replied in a gentle voice, careful not to make it sound like he was mocking her. “I don’t want you to end up hurt, Kate.” His voice was gruff and sad. Kate frowned, her eyes glassy. She approached her mother’s penthouse, turning the key in the door and opening it, beginning to climb the stairwell. “I… I can’t lose anyone else, Kate.” He said, having to try to keep his voice steady. Kate was quiet, her features somber. 

    “I can handle myself.” Kate shook her head, her voice quiet. “... I’ve survived a lot.” She said in a soft voice. Her tone was hollow for a moment and Clint sighed sadly. 

    “You can talk to me about whatever you need to, Kate.” He wanted her to talk. He knew he hadn’t set a good example for her; he hadn’t talked to her. She followed his lead by not talking to him. He was trying to give her a support system, someone to rely on. “I’m right here for you.” 

    Yeah. But you’re not right here. Kate thought. They were states apart; they were a timezone apart. It was two hours earlier for him. “It happened a long time ago.” Kate shook her head. Clint frowned, but he didn’t push her. “I, um… I Just got back. I’m gonna just head to bed.” Kate murmured, yawning gently. He smiled. She was cute. 

    “Okay. Night, honey.” 

    “Night.” Kate yawned again, shutting the call and slipping it in her pocket. She sighed. She opened the door to her mother’s penthouse. Her father’s apartment was still crispy, as Clint had put it. She had no choice but to stay here. It was like a ghost of her mother lingered around the apartment. It was uncanny. Kate was practically starved; she hadn’t eaten anything in a day and a half, but she made no movement towards the fridge. It was always something she’d struggled with and always something she hid desperately from Clint when they’d been staying in the same apartment. She would eat food so that he didn’t worry, but she’d be sure to tread to the restroom a moment later, and empty the contents of her stomach. She turned the sink on so that when Clint was in the apartment, he wouldn’t hear. 

    It was a practice she’d known since she was a girl. Her mother raised her to barely eat; her mother cared most about looks and less about happiness. Kate adopted that. And still, it wasn’t enough. Kate didn’t love herself. She didn’t really like herself much. But she kept starving so that maybe one day she’d get there. She didn’t tell Clint. He’d worry. He would try to make her stop, and she’d hate herself if she stopped. Kate was too tired to purge that night, so she just let her bag fall down to the ground and she nearly fell on the couch. She was exhausted. She did, however, make sure every window, every door was locked, until she allowed herself to get a blink of sleep. 

    “Stay down.” Kate screamed and she hit and she tried to run but it was all pain. “Stay.” He ordered her like a dog. Kate screamed. “You stupid little- “

    Kate jumped up, her breath rising and falling rapidly, so quickly it made her cough out. Her eyes were wide, beads of sweat on her skin, clinging to her temples. Her chest rose and fell rapidly. “... just a nightmare.” Kate whispered to herself, trying to calm herself. She looked around, but she forgot Lucky wasn’t with her. She shut her eyes, her hand sailing back through her hair, sweat adjourned on her fingertips. “Fuck.” She murmured under her breath gently, sniffling. There were tears in her eyes that slowly fell down her cheeks and she sniffled, covering her face with her hands for a moment, her sleeves pulled up to her fingertips. She was still dressed in the sweater Laura had gotten her. 

    “I need to know that you’re going to talk to me when you need me.” Clint’s voice rang in her head. She looked down at her watch. It was one in the morning; eleven at night for him. It’s late. Don’t. She ordered herself. She shut her phone off, and she exhaled, a small sniffle rising from her as another tear rolled down her cheek. She hated nightmares. She’d never had them when she was staying at the farm, or when Clint and she stayed at her aunt’s place. However she was alone now. The nightmares prayed on her, like sharks to blood, when she was alone. 

    Just as she went to ‘eat,’ her ringtone played at a lou volume and she gasped, the sound scaring her. Even when he’s not here, he’s sneaking up on me. Kate thought with a small huff. She hesitated for a moment, but she picked up her phone, answering it. “Hi-” 

    “You should be sleeping.” He said in a singsong voice. Kate rolled her eyes with a small sniffle. His features changed. Something was up. 

    “Yeah, well, it’s not bright and early for you, either.” Kate replied, keeping her voice quiet, because it was easier to keep her voice steady that way. “... what are you still doing up?” She asked with a shake of her head. She wanted to think of something else, not what she remembered in that nightmare. Her nightmares weren’t fantasies, just her worst memories. 

    “I am in the barn,” He sighed, and she heard small clicks. “The kids need a ride to school tomorrow, and this damn engine stalled again.” Clint huffed, and she smiled sadly, hearing him fiddle with the engines. It was a comforting sense of familiarity. She missed his hugs. “You fixed the battery up, but now the spark plugs have decided to fail.” He said with an annoyed sigh and she smiled, holding the phone close to her ear. It made her miss him less. 

    “And what about you?” He asked. “You sound like you’ve been crying, Kate.” He said in a firm voice, confronting her. Even though he was confronting her, his voice was gentle. Kate shook her head. She couldn’t hide much from him, but she could try. “Talk to me, honey.” He asked, and she felt something inside her melt, but she didn’t want to make him worry. He had so much to worry about: his wife, his kids, that damn engine, Lucky… he didn’t need her, too. 

    “The air’s just dry here.” She said with a sniffle. “... gotta get you to fix my radiator someday, Barton.” Kate said with a sad smile. She wiped the tears on her cheeks with another small sniffle. 

    “Kate.” He stated her name in a gruff voice. “You know more than me that that’s bullshit.” He spoke, using her words from earlier against her. Kate smiled sadly, and she laid back down on the couch, staring up at the chandelier above the couch, the moonlight making the glass glisten. “You promised me that you’d talk to me.” Clint’s voice was firm for a moment. “I swear, I’ll get the next flight over if you don’t keep your promise, Kate Bishop.” Kate smiled sadly. He was so good… he was a good dad. He cared. But she was so secluded inside of herself. It was a curse, gifted to her by her mother. 

    “... I just had a nightmare. That’s all.” Kate admitted. He frowned, his features softening. 

    “And what was this nightmare about, Kate?” He asked her, his voice gentle. Kate was quiet. He sighed. “Oh, look, they have a flight to New York just two hours from now.” Clint remarked when she didn’t reply. Kate rolled her eyes, but another tear rolled down her cheek. 

    “You’re an ass.” Kate murmured quietly. He smiled sadly.

    “Now we know where you get it from.” Clint replied. She barked a fake laugh, though still at a quiet volume. “What was your nightmare about, honey?” He asked again. Her dad used to call her that. She would’ve screamed at anyone else who called her that, but not him… as far as she was concerned, he was the closest thing to a dad she had left. 

    “... there was this group of guys that mugged me when I was thirteen… sometimes it comes back to me.” Kate murmured gently. “Just their words, and… their hands.” Kate murmured softly. Clint’s features softened. “It happened a long time ago.” Kate sighed, shaking her head. 

    “That doesn’t matter.” Clint said gently. “Hey, you know what?” He asked in a gentle tone. 

    “... what?” Kate muttered with a shake of her head. Her voice was still hoarse, her eyes still producing a few tears every minute or so. 

“That’ll never happen to you again. Wanna know why?” Her silence was enough of a ‘yes.’ “You’re one of the best fighters I’ve ever seen.” He said with a small smile. “... guess you got that from me, too.” He said with a small smirk. Kate rolled her eyes, but she giggled quietly, and his smile grew. He hadn’t heard her laugh in a few days. It was a nice charm. 

“... I hate you.” Kate murmured with a small smile in her voice. She sniffled again, wiping the last of her tears. 

“I’ve got an idea.” 

“Oh, great.” Kate replied. He smiled. “... what?” She asked softly after a moment. 

“I’ll stay with you until you fall asleep, okay?” He asked. Kate hesitated. “I want to, Katie.” He added. She thought herself a burden. He knew those ideas were put in her head by her mother. He hated her mother, though he didn’t say it. 

“... okay.” She finally whispered in reply. He smiled sadly. “Tell me what you’re doing, that’ll surely bore me to sleep.” Kate muttered as she laid down. 

“Haha.” Clint replied, but there was a grin on his face. “Right now, I am taking out the battery from the hood.” Clint began to narrate every movement he made, his voice in its traditional gruff tone. Kate felt her eyelids getting heavy soon. He made her feel safe. Sleep was easy around him, or Laura. “I need to charge the battery again,” He spoke gently, his tone like a lullaby. “So, I’m connecting the jump cables, and… there we go… charging the battery.” He said in a gentle tone. 

“... the engine was overheated, too.” Kate murmured, her voice weighed down with tiredness. 

“I know, honey, I’m working on that next.” Clint replied gently. The corners of her lips curled up. She pulled a blanket over herself and soon her eyes shut. “I think I’ll come down next week anyway.” Clint added in a gentle voice. “I want to make sure you’re okay.” He spoke in a low tone, like a lullaby. There was no response and the corners of his lips slowly curled up. “Honey?” He asked. He sighed, and he took the phone from his ear. “... night, Katie-Kate.” He hung up, and Kate slumbered, still comforted with the presence of his voice even with the call over.