Trick

Kate had eaten a bagel while she was on the phone with a few friends from school. She hung up early before she digested the bagel. She quickly trotted towards the bathroom and leaned over the toilet, and she felt herself being sick into the toilet. Her mouth burned and she coughed. She took a glass of water she kept by the sink and took a sip, cleaning her mouth. She had school that day. She slung her backpack over her shoulder and she stood, looking at herself in the mirror. She hated her frame. She hated her body. Kate looked away with a shameful expression. Hey. Just checking up on you :). Laura had texted her an hour ago. 

Thanks. I’m fine. Kate replied. It was a lie, but she didn’t want to be a burden. Her mom never loved Kate unless Kate was perfect; no problems, always okay. Kate assumed everyone was like that, so she never talked. She shut her phone off. She exhaled, taking another sip of water, and looking shamefully at her body. She walked out and took her backpack from the island of the kitchen. She slung it over her shoulder and she opened her door, shutting it behind her and locking it. She hated school; she didn’t tell Clint or Laura she was still only in junior year. They’d piece two and two together and realize that she was only seventeen. It’d made Clint worry more and she was scared that he would be mad. He’d be mad at her for letting her fight with him. 

She was a minor. And he let bad guys shoot at her. She knew he’d be mad. 

Kate didn’t have a good reputation at school. The other kids were mean. And after what Clint and she did in Rockefeller Center, some of the kids thought she was awesome, but other kids thought she was a farce: an amusing joke. And one time, a girl had caught Kate purging after her lunch period, and now she was renowned for that around school. Some of the boys teased her for it. Some of the girls did, too. She didn’t like school. Sometimes she wished Clint or Laura knew because then she could have someone to speak to after it was an especially shitty day at school. But they didn’t. She had friends. Jane and Greer, but they were friends in school. They didn’t hang out, so Kate was alone outside of school. She sighed as she walked into school. 

It was a long first seven periods.

    Kate waited on the lunch line alongside other kids. She had her earbuds in. She felt someone nudge by her and she felt one earbud slip from her ear, dangling down for a moment. She looked to two boys beside her and looked away. “Y’know, this lunch is so nice.” One of them nudged her and she glanced up towards him. “It’s a shame you’re gonna waste it by throwing it up.” He said with a small smile. His friend laughed. A few people in line glanced towards them, but ignored the three of them. Her features hardened and she looked away. 

    “Grow a personality.” Kate replied with a scoff, taking a bagel from the lunch-line and a water bottle, walking towards the register. She knew she’d hurt their egos, but she didn’t care. She took her wallet, but she felt one of them snatching her wallet and her features hardened. She was already tired enough. She didn’t need some assholes making her day worse than it was already. Kate looked back. “Give me that back.” Kate demanded, reaching forward for her wallet, but the boy who’d taken her wallet pulled his hand away. He took a small picture of Lucky that she had in her wallet and he held it up with a laugh. 

    “Cute bitch.” He said with a smirk. Kate grabbed it from his hands and shut her wallet, turning away from him. “I think you’re a cuter bitch, though.” He added. Kate didn’t reply; he wanted a reaction and she wasn’t giving it. “Y’know, you still have a nice ass, even though you starve yourself.” The boy laughed, and she felt his hands touching her, feeling her, and she quickly turned around, shoving him back away from her. 

    “Fuck off.” Kate said in a firmer voice. She didn’t bother getting her food. She wasn’t hungry. She hurt his ego. She just took her phone and her wallet, and when the guy suddenly struck her, she curled her hand into a fist and she turned, striking him. He gave her a weak punch; she served him right. He fell back to the ground with one punch. Kate felt a drop of blood run down her knuckles. 

    “What the hell?” His friend demanded, looking up towards her, kneeling beside his friend. She looked around for a moment. All of the others were staring at her like some freak. Her features saddened, and she quickly escaped the cafeteria, her eyes blurred with a few tears. She slammed the door behind her, her breathing quick as she fought to not have an anxiety attack. Her hand tightened around her phone; no calling Clint. He has kids to worry about. She ordered herself. 

    Kate hid herself in her apartment the rest of the night. She sniffled, and she shut her eyes with a small sigh. When she got lonely, she’d instinctively call out for Lucky, but then remember that she was alone, and quiet. The only good part about being alone was that she didn’t have to keep her crying quiet. She didn’t have to turn the sink on to deafen out the sound of her purging after she ate. Kate sniffled. She’d thrown up a few minutes ago. Her nose was rosy, as well as her cheeks, and her skin was pale. Sometimes throwing up made her sick but she didn’t care. It was worth it. She just wanted to be perfect; her mother always compared her sister and her. 

Susan. She was almost ten years older. She had a happy husband and they lived in Paris; Eleanor had loved that. Kate always tried to be as pretty, as smart, as perfect as she could be, because Susan was all of that, and their mother loved her. But it didn’t work. Eleanor didn’t notice Kate, and Susan didn’t talk to Kate anymore; her sister blamed her for their mother being locked up. Kate didn’t disagree much with her. The door rattled as someone knocked and Kate inhaled softly, looking towards the door. Please don’t be those assholes from school. She pleaded mentally. 

“... what now…?” She murmured underneath her breath. She heard another knock and she carefully walked forward, and she curled her hand into a fist, her grip on the door-knob tight. She slowly cracked it open. “... Clint…?” She asked softly, looking up at him with an empty gaze. He gave her a small smile, but it was sad. “What are you doing here?” She asked, but she found herself, and she hugged him. He quickly hugged her back. 

“What, I need a reason to check up on you?” He asked in a gentle tone, but there was a reason he was here. It’d only been a week since she left the farm; he wouldn’t visit so early. “What happened to your face?” Clint asked, pulling her back, and his hand held the side of her face gently, looking down towards her black eye. 

“I’m fine.” Kate replied, and she hugged him again. Clint looked down towards her with a sad expression, and he sighed. 

“C’mon, let’s sit down.” He sighed. “I gotta talk to you.” Kate glanced towards him, but she complied and sat down on the couch. He shut the door behind him, and he looked towards her. 

“... what?” She asked him, looking up towards him. 

“Honey, your school called me,” Clint spoke, looking down towards her. Kate looked up towards him. She’d coached herself not to let her features react. She just looked down, breaking her gaze from his. “How old are you, Kate?” He asked, his gaze studying her carefully. 

“I’m twenty two, Clint.” She replied, but he shook his head, looking down towards her. 

“Uh huh.” He stated, his voice flat. “... without the blip, how old are you, Kate?” He caught on. Kate crossed her arms across her chest, and she looked down. Clint sat beside her on the couch. “... you’re just a kid.” He realized, saying it more to himself than her. He looked down with a shake of his head, exhaling. “... I let you get shot at, and you’re just a kid.” He uttered. Kate glanced towards him from the corner of her sight. 

“Technically-” 

“Not technically anything.” Clint shook his head. “You’re seventeen, kid.” He spoke, looking into her eyes. Kate didn't reply, and it was enough of a yes. “What happened to your face?” He asked with a shake of his head, changing the subject. 

“... fight at school.” Kate muttered. She looked down towards her hands, playing with one of the rings on her fingers. Clint looked towards her with a shake of his head. Her school had called him; he was the closest thing to a parent she had, along with Laura. And they told him what the boy had said to get her to hit him, and he her. 

“They told me what the other kids heard him say to you, Kate.” She knew what he was talking about, but she didn’t look at him, just down at her rings. “Kate, when was the last time you ate?” Clint asked. His features were tense but gentle at the same time. 

“I dunno, I don’t keep track, Clint.” She responded in a feistier tone. Clint looked towards her. She knew what he was prying at but she didn’t give him anything. She had gotten skinnier since he saw her last; it wasn’t very noticeable. He had to focus to see it, but it was noticeable enough. She hadn’t been eating right. And it was on purpose. 

“C’mon, let’s go get some dinner.” Clint nudged her. Kate glanced towards him. He was calling her bluff, making her prove she wasn’t okay by refusing to go out and eat. 

“I’m not hungry.” Kate replied. She looked down, her arms crossed across her chest. Clint looked towards her sadly. He sighed, and he leaned before her on one knee. Kate looked towards him. Her eyes were glassy.
    “Talk to me.” He asked in a half order, looking into her eyes. “How long’ve you been doing this?” He asked. “Since the Tracksuits? Before that…?” He knew she wasn’t okay. He knew she had an eating disorder and he knew she probably didn’t realize that. He knew she needed help, even if she didn’t want to admit that. 

“I’m not doing anything.” Kate shook her head, and Clint looked forward towards her. 

“Kate, I want…” He sighed. “I need you to talk to me, honey.” Clint asked again. Kate looked towards him. Her eyes were glassy and eventually a tear spilled over her cheeks. “C’mon. We’re gonna heat some dinner up.” Clint nodded. “I need you to keep some food down, Katie.” He asked. Kate didn’t reply. He just sighed and stood, and walked towards the fridge. How am I going to get it out with him here…? She thought, trying to think. He knows. She thought, her arms around herself. He found a few slices of pizza in the fridge and put them in the microwave. Clint sat beside her on the couch as it heated up. “Tell me you know what you're doing isn’t healthy.” He asked, looking down towards her. 

“I’m not doing anything-”
    “ Katie. ” He cut her off. Her eyes met his. “You need to eat. You’re still growing up, you need nutrition, you need food.” Clint said, his voice gentle. He sighed, and he hugged her tightly. Kate didn’t reply, she just let him hug her, and let her face hide in his shoulder. “Why are you doing this?” He asked, his hand framing her face as he released her, and another tear fell from her lash line. He brushed it away gently. 

“... I just don’t want people to leave me.” She whispered softly, and his features softened. “... I’m so ugly.” Kate whispered under her breath, her features looking down. “Ugly people always get left behind.” There were another few tears that fell down her cheeks and he frowned, his features saddening. 

“Honey, you’re not ugly.” Clint replied, but she didn’t meet his eyes. “Hey.” He asked in a breathy sigh, and his hand framed her face, forcing her to look into his eyes. “You’re beautiful, Kate, and you’re perfect, but you need to eat.” He begged. He heard the ding of the microwave, and he stood, and returned with the pizza. “C’mon, I’ll eat with you.” He nudged her, passing her a plate and taking one for himself. Kate looked down at the slice, and another tear fell down her cheek. Finally, she took a bite, and with him, she ate. I need to go to the bathroom. She thought desperately, but when she tried to stand, his hand quickly reached for hers, taking it. He sat her back down. “We’re staying here.” He stated, his voice gentle, yet somehow gruff at the same time. “It’s okay.” He promised, his voice soft. But she’d not eaten food without throwing it up in weeks, and her stomach didn’t like it.
    “... I’m gonna be sick.” Kate muttered, and she stood, and she found the garbage can beside the kitchen’s island. Clint frowned, and he gently held her hair back as she was sick, hugging her right after. 

It was like withdrawal; addicts were sick after stopping the drugs. Her body wasn’t used to digesting so it made her nauseous as hell. “It’s okay.” He promised, his arms holding her. “I’m so proud of you.” He whispered in her ear, still hugging her. Kate cried softly on his shoulder and he held his arms around her, his hand rubbing her back gently to comfort her. “I’m not leaving again.” He swore, hugging her close.