Chapter 2
It was pretty much a guarantee that all Widows had a complicated relationship with food.
Food was a tool to be used against Widows in the Red Room. It was held over their head to keep them in line. They could get starved for being bad or get extra treats when they were good. You could always tell who was being punished and who was being rewarded based on what they were served on their tray that night.
Yelena tries to give them a good relationship with food. The made the door on the pantry unable to lock and made sure that she kept plenty of snacks on hand. Some of her Widows, like Daria, were worried that they were not going to have food. Yelena had to give them small containers of food to keep in their room to soothe their fears.
She also never forces them to eat. She remembers Melina forcing her to clear her plate when she was a small child, no matter how she felt. She also stops them from eating when they eat to the point of making themselves sick, worried about when their next meal was.
While Varvara was arch-enemies with broccoli, she would still eat it, even if she would much rather plant it in the backyard to see if it grew into trees.
Irina was a complicated issue when it came to food. She had never eaten very much and on days that she suffered from migraines then even getting her to drink water was a battle.
Yelena had pulled Irina aside and had a long conversation about it before. In fact, she’d done it multiple times. Irina always promises to try and eat more and she does but then she starts to fall back into old habits again.
It gets to the point where Yelena knows that Irina hadn’t eaten for nearly fourteen hours. When she moves to leave the dinner table that night with the rest of her siblings, having taken a grand total of two bites from her plate, Yelena stops her. Yelena tells her to sit back down.
The rest of the girls paused and Yelena waves them off. She can feel their curious gaze as they try to sneak glances from around the corner.
“I want you to eat five bites of food,” Yelena tells Irina. Irina stares at her with a frown. “You can’t leave the table except to use the bathroom. Five bites and then you can go.” She uses the same tactic her mother did except instead of making Irina eat the whole thing, Yelena just wanted to her to eat a little.
Irina’s eyes widen. She protests to Yelena that it wasn’t fair and that she ate earlier.
“You ate a fruit roll-up that Daria gave you. That’s not food. Your body needs nutrients, Irina. All I want is for you to eat five bites, that’s it,” Yelena tells her. She moves to clear the dishes and starts to wash them. Irina sits at the table, staring down at her barely touched plate with folded arms.
While Yelena’s girls could be stubborn, Yelena wouldn’t fold. Irina sits at the table for over an hour, staring at her plate.
Mischa eventually shuffles into the kitchen to get a glass of water. “Mom?” She hesitantly questioned Yelena. “Is Irina being punished?”
“No.” Yelena shakes her head, reaching out to comb her fingers through Mischa’s hair, the teenager leaning into the touch. “I don’t punish with food, you know that.”
Mischa frowns, leaning against Yelena for a few moments. “How long is she going to sit there?”
“Until she can eat what I want her to,” Yelena replies, kissing the side of Mischa’s head. Mischa glances at her sister before nodding her head.
Two hours later finds Irina still sitting at the table, staring down at the plate of food that had gone cold.
Yelena had taken a seat across from her. Irina doesn’t acknowledge her, her arms folded as she sinks in the seat to stare at the plate, as if she could vanish the food with sheer will.
“Irina, I will make you whatever you want to eat if you just eat five bites. You can have ice cream in the freezer or the box of sweets that I save for special occasions,” Yelena barters and Irina barely glances at her. It’s pointless for Yelena to keep talking if Irina wouldn’t look at her to see what she was saying.
The clock finally reaches nine. Irina could have shoved five bites into her mouth and been done with it hours ago. But she sat there in the chair.
Yelena eventually has to leave to tuck her girls into bed. Ksenia eyed the empty bed where Irina usually slept as Yelena tucks her in. “Is Irina gonna stay at the table the whole night?” Ksenia quietly questioned Yelena.
“No.” Yelena wasn’t going to make Irina sleep at the table. This wasn’t supposed to be a punishment. “Don’t worry about it, baby. Okay?”
Ksenia eyes her but nods, letting Yelena pull the blanket over her. Mischa suggests to her that she should just let Irina go.
Varvara tells Yelena that Irina didn’t do anything wrong. Yelena has to reiterate that this is not a punishment. That she doesn’t use food as punishment.
By the time Yelena gets her girls in bed, it was nearing ten-thirty at night. Irina was still at the table. She could have shoved the food into the trash or flushed it down the toilet and claimed that she ate it. She didn’t. She sat at the table.
Yelena watches the clock slowly pass to eleven at night. Irina was starting to yawn, supporting her head on her hand as she leans against the table.
When the clock strikes midnight, Yelena has to give in. She’s not making Irina sleep at the table.
“Irina,” Yelena moves around to where Irina was falling asleep at the table, tapping her shoulder. The girl jumps, eyeing Yelena. “It’s time for bed.”
Confusion flickers on Irina’s face. She glances at the plate briefly.
“I’m not making you sleep at the table. This isn’t supposed to be a punishment, Irina. I’m worried about you,” Yelena pulls Irina’s chair out so that she can look her in the face and Irina can read her lips clearly. “I love you. Seeing you not take care of yourself makes me worry. Your body needs food, Irina. You can’t just not give it food.”
Irina was quiet for a few moments before she asked Yelena if she could go.
“Yes. Go get ready to bed,” Yelena nods her head.
Irina eyes her before she stands up as if to test if Yelena would make her sit back down. When it becomes clear that Yelena really did just want her to go to bed, Irina reaches for the plate.
Yelena doesn’t know whether to scream in frustration or cry when Irina shoves five bites into her mouth before she leaves the table. Yelena buries her face into her hands as Irina goes to bed.
Irina was just testing her. She just wanted to see how far Yelena would go. She wanted to see if she really had to sit there until she ate or if Yelena would eventually let her leave.
The next time Yelena makes Irina stay behind to eat, Irina doesn’t drag it out for so long. It was far more pleasant for both of them.