The First Day Back
Sunday evening crept into the apartment like an unwelcome guest as both Maria and Ellie sat at the dinner table and listened to the storm that was quickly approaching outside. The Commander stood up slowly and brought her plate into the kitchen, prompting the child to do the same. She started the warm water and watched as the curly-haired child scaled up the stool on the other side of the bar to watch as the dishwater became soapy.
“Don’t worry, I won't use all the hot water,” she joked to try and break the anxiety that filled the room.
Ellie looked at Maria, squinted, and tilted her head.
“There are these things called water heaters,” the brunette offered as she cleaned the dishes, “they are kinda like big tanks and they heat up water so that it comes out of the faucet hot.”
She looked down at the water that steamed slightly, “but they only hold maybe like 60 gallons and then there’s no more hot hot water.”
A building like this would never run out of hot water, there were more than enough water heaters to bring water to every unit with some left over. The Deputy Director opened her mouth to explain that when Ellie spoke up.
“Maybe mine broke,” the child shrugged slightly.
“Yeah, they can break and it is a pain to fix them,” Maria couldn’t bring herself to look at the child and tell her the truth: that she grew up without hot water because the Red Room was little more than a school that taught children how to withstand torture.
Ellie went back to watching as the plates were cleaned and loaded into the dishwasher, Maria was on the last fork when she spoke again, “Are you nervous for tomorrow?”
The child clenched her small fists and nodded.
“Do you want to go over the schedule again?” Maria asked, knowing that she would often quiet her own mind by going over the plans of an upcoming mission, or the steps on how to change the oil in her car. Anything that had defined lines that she could go through step by step.
<Yes>
So the Deputy Director found herself recounting everything to expect from the next day as they got the child ready for bed.
“You and I will pack your backpack with an extra flashlight and your lunch tomorrow morning,” she detailed to the girl as she started the shower.
“And then it will probably be around lunchtime,” she explained while rinsing the soap from the child’s hair, “I’ll make sure you have a surprise in your lunch box.”
“Liam will get there with you and I bet Ms. Grace will be the one to pick you guys up from the gate,” she said as she pulled on the girl's pajamas.
“And then we’ll come home and have spaghetti for dinner, how's that sound?” Maria pulled the blankets up on the child next to her.
Ellie still refused to sleep in her own room, or really acknowledge its existence, so they slept in Maria’s bed tougher. Something Dr. Furgeson said they would work on if it persisted.
“Okay,” the child seemed more relaxed.
“And if at any time you want to call me, you go up to an adult and let them know. I’ll have my phone on all day just in case you want to talk,” she smoothed some of Ellie’s wet curls and smiled, “it’s going to be a good day, and if not we can always try again.”
The wind outside howled as night settled in, filling the quiet that had encompassed the room as the two looked at one another.
“Okay,” Ellie broke the silence first as she clicked Aлена on and off, on and off.
“How about you try going to sleep?” Maria turned the lamp on her nightstand and the one overhead off before she pulled the blankets back and joined the child in bed, “I’ll be right here if you need me.”
The girl nodded once and closed her eyes.
“Goodnight, little bear,” the brunette leaned over, kissed Ellie’s forehead, and pulled out her tablet to start work for the upcoming week.
She had finished almost all of the prep for a meeting she was giving on Monday before the first-night terror ripped through the child next to her, setting the tone for the rest of the night.
“You’re okay, it’s okay,” she soothed as she pulled her daughter into her arms, “it was just a dream, you’re safe, you’re home.”
Ellie yelled in Russian once more before calming down, her heart fluttering against her ribcage as Maria held her tightly, “You’re okay, I’m right here.”
The curly-haired child kept her face tucked into Maria’s neck as she regained composure before falling back to sleep. The woman carefully rearranged Ellie back on the bed before she resumed her work.
She had been asleep for only a few minutes when the second nightmare left Ellie thrashing against anything that touched her. Blankets, pillows, and Aлена all went flying as she screamed out. Once again, Maria brought the girl into her arms, only slightly registering the stinging sensation on her forearm as Ellie bit into her flash.
“You’re okay, it’s okay,” she said loud enough for the child to hear over her yelling and tightened her grip on the girl who heaved deep breaths, “It was just a dream, you’re safe, you’re home.”
It was a few more minutes before the girl slumped back down from sheer exhaustion, her face still red as she drifted into an uncomfortable sleep. Maria rubbed the bite on her arm before trying to sleep once more.
Like clockwork, it was another hour and a half before Ellie sobbed herself awake. The commander turned over and rubbed big circles on the girl's back as she spoke softly “You’re okay, it’s okay.”
Ellie sniffled loudly and buried her face into her pillow to dampen the noise.
“Hey, come here, you don’t have to do that,” Maria knew it was a trained response, that the girl would do everything she could to be as quiet as possible.
She turned to lay on her back and brought Ellie up to lay on top of her, immediately warm tears ran down the girl's face and onto her chest, “do you want to talk about what you were thinking about?”
Ellie sniffled and slowly shook her head, her tears still falling. Maria reached over to her nightstand and picked up a tissue and her phone, the first item she handed to the girl, the second item she scrolled on for a moment before finding what she had been looking for.
“Hill!” Natasha shoved Barton's hand away as she smiled, “Come tell your agent to stop licking his hands before we spar.”
“How come she can fight dirty, but I can’t?” Clint called back from where he had been shoved out of frame.
“Because,” the Russian squared her shoulders and batted her eyes, “I’m a lady, and you're gross.”
“That doesn’t even make sense!” Barton dove into frame.
It was an old video, one from over a year ago that Maria was pretty sure she had played it for Ellie before, but still she felt the girl's eyelashes as they batted to copy Natasha on the screen. The two agents continued to complain for another minute before the redhead ended the video. Maria swiped to the next one where the Russian asked Maria about adding more lanes to the firing range on the helicarrier.
The two sat there and watched video after video, making sure to skip over the “Hey Mia/Masha” recordings, until Maria felt the child’s breath even out. She debated going back to sleep, or just staying up in anticipation of the next nightmare when she realized there was another video on her screen, one she hadn’t watched before.
The brunette checked the time stamp and realized it had been sent an hour earlier. She double-checked that Ellie was asleep and turned down the volume before clicking “play”.
“Ria,” the Russian rolled her eyes and shook her head, she looked less tired. Her hood was up and her ears stuck out on either side in classic Natasha Romanoff fashion.
“I don’t know what I’m doing. I’m going to try and be back to work as soon as I can but he’s such a fucking weasel and Lena isn’t going to stop even if I do. And that’s not a good idea because I really think she’ll kill him. Me though? Just maim or seriously injure.”
It took everything in Maria not to snort and wake the child who was still asleep on top of her. She knew that Natasha wouldn’t kill her pseudo-father, it wouldn’t bode well with SHIELD and as much as she said she didn’t ever see him as a father, deep down the Commander knew she did.
“We have a lead though and I really think it’s going to work out-” Yelena yelled something in the background, Natasha spoke quickly in Russian, “Yelena says hi. Anyway, If I’m not back before the 23rd do you think you could cover for me? Like I would only need one extra day but it’s going to be a bit of a tight squeeze- OKAY, I’ll tell her, fine then you tell her!”
Maria smiled at the sisters as the blonde squished into frame.
“Maria Hill, the present should be there soon but it needs to be for her Christmas, yes? Also, send a picture when you can. Okay, that is it, you can go back to making kissy face with my sister now,” Yelena smiled and ran away.
“Maybe I do leave her to kill him and end up in jail,” Natasha shook her head and tilted the camera to try and hide her blushing cheeks, “so… like I said, it would just be for a day- two at max. Okay cool… so just let me know. Okaybye.”
It had been the first time in over a week that Maria had actual confirmation that Natasha was okay, not only that but that the sisters were okay. She stared at the screen for a totally normal amount of time (thank you very much) before she responded.
Ria: Tell YB that I’ll send a pic and that I’ll keep the present hidden until Christmas.
Before she could respond to covering for a day or two, she got a message back.
Nat: You should be sleeping.
Ria: Wish I was.
Nat: rough night?
Ria: you could say that <1 img.>
Ria: starts back to school tomorrow.
Nat: She looks pretty content now. Anything I can do to help?
Ria: Come back home?
She shook her head and deleted the message. They had broken down so many berries when Ellie was gone, but as soon as the girl came back, the barrier did too. The blue-eyed woman stared at her phone for a while longer, feeling like whatever was going on between them was still in limbo.
Ria: Make him pay, and don’t worry about work. I can cover.
Nat: got it, and thanks.
There was so much more she wanted to say, so much more she wanted to tell Natasha about, but instead she let out a deep breath and responded back one last time.
Ria: Night, Tasha.
The next morning came with a small snowstorm, a refusal to take medication, a meltdown over the socks she was wearing (that she had personally picked out the night before), and a fight over being strapped into her car seat. By the time Maria dropped Ellie off at school, she had come to the conclusion that she would be turning around to pick the girl up early at any minute.
But minutes passed, and she was pulling up to the front gates without a phone call, then her gloves were connecting to the punching bag in the gym, still nothing, and finally sitting down at her first meeting, all without a single ring.
“Deputy Director, the floor is yours,” one of the council members pulled her away from looking at her phone.
She gave a curt nod and directed everyone's attention to the presentation, “As you all may be aware, during the last few weeks we were monitoring a set of terrorist attacks from a group led by a man known as the Mandarin.”
Maria flipped through her slides, “and while we know that he was a figurehead- a prop rather- for a more dangerous group, we were unaware of who that group was until late Friday night.”
The members varied in interest, the COmmander took mental notes of those who seemed disinterested, “Some of the members of this group may recall a group known as Extremis that made minor headlines in the 1990’s for their regenerative experiments.”
“That group was a joke, they ran out of funding over a decade ago,” one of the older members waved his hand.
“Or so we thought,” she flipped to the next slide, “Aldrich Killian, the man who hoped we all assumed that they were nothing more than a research lab gone wrong.”
The Deputy Director continued to update them on everything SHIELD had found out about the group, along with some of the insight that Pepper had been able to offer after she had been brought back to normal body temperatures. It was a long meeting, full of questions by some, and blatant disregard by others, but still, her phone did not ring.
Meetings, mission supervisions, and lunch all came and went as her phone sat silently. It was getting to the time when the girl would be brought to The Center when she finally caved and went downstairs.
Her mind raced at what could have gone wrong throughout the day, maybe Ellie forgot her phone number, maybe she couldn’t ask an adult because she couldn’t find her voice, maybe she- Maria stopped as she stood in front of the window that looked into the room.
The girl with two perfect braids sat next to the boy with crumbs on his face as he talked animatedly, the girl having to dodge his arms as he continued to talk. It wasn’t like it used to be, Ellie wasn’t smiling or giving her input as Liam spoke, but still, she nodded along as he laughed. Ellie was just fine.
Maria shook her head and walked back to the elevator, when did I become such a mom? She swiped her card and rode the elevator up to her office and continued to work for the remainder of the afternoon, no longer checking her phone every few minutes.
Time flew by when she was able to focus for the first time that day, she jumped as her alarm went off to remind her to head back downstairs and pick Ellie up for the day.
“Hi Maria,” Grace smiled as she walked into the room.
“Hey Grace, how’d everything go today?” the Commander found herself reaching for Ellie’s end-of-day report faster than she normally did.
“She was… quiet,” the blonde squinted slightly, “and ate fast enough to give herself a stomach ache I think but she wouldn’t actually tell anyone that.”
Maria nodded and skimmed the paper, both of those were understandable.
“Other than that she was good until Liam went home, she’s been sitting in her cubby since then,” Grace motioned with her thumb to where Ellie had shoved herself in between her coat and backpack, her hand tightly on her flashlight, “I’ll go let her know you're here.”
Maria winced as Ellie startled and fell out of the small wooden compartment. Grace collected the girls' things and followed as she made a beeline for Maria.
“Hi Bear,” the woman opened up the half door and scooped up the child.
<Hi> Ellie hooked her arms around the Commander and breathed in deeply.
“You have a good day?”
The girl moved her hand back and forth before wiggling out of Maria’s arms to put her backpack on, finding comfort in the straps on her shoulders.
“Say bye to Ms. Grace,” the brunette reminded the child who waved and then walked over to the front door.
“Bye Grace, see ya tomorrow,” Maria shook her head and smiled slightly.
“You will indeed,” the blonde returned the smile.
The rest of the Triskelion was quiet as the two walked towards the exit before Maria stopped, halting the child’s movement as well.
“There’s one last place we need to go before we head home, is that okay?” she was banking on the positive aspects of the day and hoped that this wouldn’t send the child into overstimulation.
“Okay Mommy,” Ellie glanced around and took Maria’s hand.
They walked over to the elevator where the Deputy Director had to swipe her card to gain access to the floor they were looking to get to. The ride was quick as it bypassed all other elevator requests, stopping only once it got to the top floor.
“Sir,” Maria knocked on the door twice before it unlocked.
The air was tense, the Commander's hands suddenly felt warm as she let the girl into the space they both knew well. Her boss said nothing as he watched the two walk toward his desk, clearly unsure of what to expect.
“Fuzzy!” it was more of a choked cry as Ellie raced forwards and collided with the man who scooped her up and into his chair.
Maria was positive that right then and there she could have cried. For the first time since coming home, Ellie looked like herself, acted like herself, and sounded like herself.
“Hi, there little miss,” Fury’s voice was soft as he held the girl tight in his arms.
“Miss you,” Ellie spoke so softly, both adults could have missed it.
“I missed you too,” Fury loosened his hold as Ellie sat upright in his lap, her backpack resting on the man's desk.
“Don’t worry, I am back,” the girl took a single tiny finger and ran it over the scars that stuck out slightly from under the Director's eyepatch.
He didn't flinch, and he didn’t try to stop her, Maria wondered how many times the girl had traced the scars to get such a reaction. She found herself having to once again, blink away tears that started to fill her vision. This, whether any of them truly knew it, was her family.
“You have a good day? Make it through school?” Fury asked the girl in his lap.
“Yes, did not have to call Mommy even,” she nodded.
“Well that sounds like a good day,” the man opened up a drawer and pulled out a sheet.
Ellie immediately reached for a sticker and stuck it to her shirt. She gave a small smile and signed to Fury <thank you for sticker>.
The realization that the girl still remembered the sign Fury had taught her had both of the adults letting out small sighs of relief.
“You’re welcome,” he glanced once at his computer screen. Maria wouldn’t have put it past him to pause a meeting just for the child.
“Come on Ellie girl, we need to go have dinner,” Maria called out from where she still stood by the door.
“Having little meat,” the child put her two fingers together.
“Spaghetti and meatballs,” Maria corrected and watched as the girl climbed off the man.
“I can’t keep you from that,” the man agreed, “Hill, I need you to brush up on Deep Shadow conditions.”
The request caught her off guard, but still, she nodded, “I can do that, okay kid let’s go have little meat. Say bye.”
“Bye Fuzzy,” she waved.
“Bye little miss,” Fury waved back and watched as the two of them exited his office.
The two walked through the building and down to the parking garage, Maira’s mind was a mess of Ellie, work, and why Fury wanted her to brush up on such an intricate condition. She continued to think and overthink until she glanced in the rearview and watched Ellie dance ever so slightly to the music. No matter what, as long as she got to see that, everything was going to be okay.