Skatepression??
It was mid-morning when Regulus woke up again in the fresh hotel bedsheets, gasping slightly from his dream. He stared at his surroundings blearily until his mind caught up to him. Only then did he realise the consistent buzzing of his phone, almost falling off the bedside table. He groaned a little as he sat up, wincing from the bruises and reaching out to snatch up his phone.
He’d already deleted and blocked his parents from his phone, his location was off and everything, but this didn’t stop the drop of his stomach at the thought his parents might be trying to find him.
Regulus didn’t want to be dragged back there, quite frankly he’d rather die. He let out a short breath of relief he didn’t even know he’d been holding when his phone lit up with an incoming call. It read Sirius’ name, not his parents. Regulus couldn’t resist rolling his eyes before swiping to answer the call.
“REGGIE START PICKING UP YOUR FUCKING PHONE YOU LITTLE SHIT-“ Regulus jumped and held the phone away from him at arms-length until his brother had stopped shouting. He tentatively pressed it to his ear and cleared his scratchy throat. It was still raw from crying.
“Sirius, if you want me to come live with you, you need to stop screaming at me down the phone.”
“I’ll just do it in person then.” Sirius grumbled.
“No, you will not-” Regulus said, already exasperated.
“Anywayy…” His bother drawled, cutting him off. “The reason I called you is to say that your train leaves in an hour!” The youngest Black brother jolted slightly in surprise, scrambling to start getting ready.“I booked it this morning isn’t that great?!”
“No! You didn’t tell me you were going to book it today Andouille!”
“Well if you had picked up one of the last fifteen calls, maybe you would have more time! It’s not my fault.” He could practically hear the whine in his voice through the phone. Regulus closed his eyes and took a breath, trying not to explode.
“Sirius shut up. I'm going to pack. Goodbye, see you later, whatever you English twats say.”
“Hey! No need to be rude!”
“You’re pissing me off and I want to hang up now.”
“No, wait! I won’t be annoying, I promise. I just want to talk to you! Keep packing though, you’re going to be late idiot.” Regulus made the wise decision to stay quiet and tune his brother out while going through and repacking his messy bags, checking tickets and everything. Sirius was telling him about his best friends, and he wasn’t listening too hard until one name made him freeze.
“James is the captain of the hockey team, he’s probably my best friend. Brotherly love and that. He’s really good, like insane good! I swear, he trains more than the whole team combined.” He felt his shoulders slump a bit.
Brotherly love?
Well, he supposed he hadn’t exactly been doing a great job in the past few years, but he didn’t expect to be literally replaced. He’d gotten a sense of it when Sirius first left, when he chose James Potter over his own blood. But then he’d just put it down to the whole family, not a personal thing. But this, this just proved him wrong.
Maybe he shouldn’t go. There’s no need for him there, Sirius already has a bloody brother.
What was he thinking?
He never should’ve gone to Sirius, never should’ve run away, never should’ve quit that competition. Maybe it wasn’t too late to turn back to the twisted comfort of Grimmald place.
“Regulus! Fucking where have you gone? Reggie!” Sirius sounded worried, his voice suddenly breaking through all of Regulus’ thoughts.
“Yeah, I'm here sorry. Just went to the bathroom.”
“Fucks sake, aren’t you supposed to tell people when you leave the room on call? Isn’t that like call etiquette? Fuck you, whatever. I just needed to say that the train station is a fifteen-minute walk from the hotel you’re at, and it leaves in like half an hour.” He mumbled a thanks and hung up, gazing at his bags with a sigh. This was really it. He wasn’t going to turn back now. He wasn’t going home again.
Regulus arrived in good time at the station and boarded his train with his head held low. He was pretty well known around here; he never really took public transport because he wasn’t allowed out of his parents’ sight and they had their own private escort. A lot of people would know him from figure skating competitions, he had won quite a few.
Stares followed him as he sat down in a seat opposite a boy around his age, lounging over two seats. It seemed no one really wanted to approach him, which was better for Regulus. He had sharp cheekbones and dark hair, a hard but handsome face and long limbs. Regulus felt he vaguely recognised him but for the life of him he couldn’t remember where. The boy certainly knew him though, he sat up immediately, eyes sparkling.
“Hey, you’re Regulus Black, that figure skater. That’s you right?” Regulus clenched his jaw slightly, glaring. He was never good at people.
“Non, not me.” He muttered, a little too forcefully. The boy leaned over the table, squinting at his face with a smirk.
“Nah, it’s definitely you. What an honour. Can I get your autograph or something?” He was clearly mocking Regulus, so he just scowled and turned to the window, slipping on a pair of headphones. “I’m Barty. Barty Crouch, that is. Not that I know any other Barty’s.” The boy chuckled, leaning back again with his hands behind his head.
Regulus eyed him with new interest. He did know where this boy was from, he was an ice-hockey player. Recently, he had quit the Slytherin team and run away. This seemed to be a reoccurring incident in the Slytherin teams, they were always toxic and abusive households with family championships and unrealistic and painful expectations that sucked the very life out of you until you passed it on to the next generation. What a treat.
The event of Barty’s escape had been a whole thing. He had not been presumed missing because he was already 18, much to his family’s displeasure, and the boy had announced that he was trying out for a new team this year for the upcoming tournament. Regulus, however, was still 17 and faced the problem of a lack of a guardian. That’s where Sirius came in. He had a late birthday, but it never really bothered him until now. He did not expect to see Barty on the train, but it was ironic really in a way that felt too good to be true.
“I’m guessing you finally ran away too. God, these family traditions are so fucked up. It’s good that our generation is finally leaving. Sirius, Evan, Andromeda, me, and now you too. We should make an army or something.” Regulus knew those names. He’d read over every story, longed to be them, scrutinised their techniques and wandered if he ever had the balls to leave. And now he had, it all felt- fake. God, everything really was fucked up. “I suppose I do feel bad for our parents in a way, they had to go through the same thing we did.”
Barty seemed so weirdly nonchalant talking about their families like this. He closed his eyes and leant back against the window as they began pulling out the station. Barty then cracked open an eye and smirked slyly at Regulus who was still sitting with his back rigid and his face stoic, gazing in bewilderment.
“Actually, I take it back, I don’t feel sorry for those pricks.” Barty’s eyes scanned him up and down. Regulus felt stiff and uncomfortable under his gaze. Barty's thoughts lingered on the perfect posture, the emotionless face, the hands folded neatly in his lap, meeting his eyes with a strange understanding. Barty sank deeper into his seat, letting out a slow whistle. “It feels so good to be away already. I left like two weeks ago, I bet you’ve heard about me though. I'm going to Hogwarts, starting fresh. I don’t care what anyone says, it’s better than the shitbag coaches I had before. Even if they are my parents. Still shitbags.”
Regulus found his lips twitching slightly in the reluctant urge to smile as he nodded softly in half arsed agreement. Everything Barty was saying was true, but it wasn’t normally talked about so openly. It was like taboo, all hush hush and behind locked doors. It was shared piteous and knowing glances when someone failed, it was mirrored bruises and secret understanding.
It just wasn’t acceptable to lose.
As Barty talked on, he suddenly realised that Hogwarts was the name of the school he was supposed to go to. His mouth parted in surprise as he looked at Barty. It was scary how similar their paths were.
“Are you going to live in the dorms?” Regulus found himself asking. Barty looked pleasantly surprised that he had started talking. He grinned.
“Yeah, I expect so. I don’t have any contacts or anything in London, I just have to enrol and hope for the best I suppose. I expect you already have it all planned out. You seem like that type of guy.” He snorted. Regulus frowned. He knew he was lucky to have Sirius to fall back on, and he truly did feel for those who were unable to get out or are completely alone in this world.
Barty wasn’t bad company, he talked away and didn’t expect too much from Regulus, just a few hums and nods of agreement. Regulus found himself relaxing a bit, listening to the music drifting through his headphones and the general chatter coming from his new-found partner. They weren’t exactly friends yet, just people with an understanding of each other.
Regulus didn’t sleep on the train, even though he probably needed it. He was restless and unsure of what was coming. When he arrived, it was late afternoon and the sun was shining through watery grey clouds above. Regulus let his eyes scan the landscape, so very different to his homeland. He’d only ever been to England for competitions and even then, it wasn’t a regular thing for him.
The train finally came to a halt and Barty and him got up, nodding at each other as they grabbed bags and made their way off the train. Barty raised a hand in goodbye, grinning softly.
“Until next time, baby Black. Stay rebellious, it suits you.” He winked and turned, disappearing into the crowd.
Regulus stood, watching the spot where Barty had been for a few moments. His head still couldn’t quite grasp exactly what he was doing, and now he was here in England he was lost once again. He wasn’t lost for long though, because the next minute he was almost knocked over by the force of his brother barrelling into him. Wide grey eyes shone up at him as he struggled for balance.
“Reggie!” Sirius beamed up at him, not letting him escape from the strangling embrace. Regulus grimaced at his injuries and awkwardly stood, arms stiff by his side and his face embarrassed. His cheeks were slightly flushed, and his eyes darted back and forth from Sirius to the people around him.
“Hey Siri. Could you uhm-“ he winced, nodding down at the bruises. Sirius’ eyes seemed to grow impossibly larger as he let go, scooping up his bag and fussing over him. There was a lot of cussing out their parents and ruffling of hair and the occasional tear. Regulus just bit his lip and went along with it; he honestly hadn’t had time to figure out his emotions and he still wasn’t ready to process his feelings towards his parents.
Sirius, however, seemed to have no problem with such things. Regulus was sure the whole street could hear them as Sirius lead him to a taxi and pushed him into the backseat, clambering in clumsily after him. He gave the directions to the driver breathlessly, turning to grin at Regulus.
“So?” Regulus blinked blankly in response, unsure what to say. Sirius rolled his eyes. “So how do you find London?! How was your journey? What’s happened in the last three years of your life? I haven’t seen you since I ran away, I need a catch up!” Regulus allowed himself a moment to gaze softly at his brother’s excitement, running a hand through his hair to buy time.
“I haven’t really gathered an opinion on London yet. I’ve done nothing but be hugged and smothered by you in all the three minutes I’ve been here.” Sirius feigned a hurt expression and punched his arm. Regulus carried on. “Oh, yeah. I also met Barty on the train which was…nice?” It was more of a question, but Sirius seemed to hop onto the topic easily.
“Barty Crouch? As in the hockey player? You met him on the train?”
“That is what I just said-“
“Oh my god is he coming to Hogwarts?! Did he say that? My fucking god he’s amazing, his defence is like nothing I’ve seen before. If we could get him on the Gryffindor team-“
“Sirius, please refrain from the hockey talk just yet. I am not prepared to deal with that, I still have figure skating in my blood.” Regulus talked about hockey as if it was a bad taste in his mouth, face souring slightly. Sirius only barked out a laugh.
“All my friends are hockey players, and I'm one too. You’re going to be living with two fanatic hockey players for at least two months. Get prepared to deal with it. Now answer my question this is serious!” The younger of the two let out a groan and dropped his head onto the window. Sirius cackled, poking his side insistently and cooing his name. Regulus shoved him away, but it seemed Sirius was determined to annoy him into giving him an answer. Regulus was tempted to not give him what he wanted, just to spite him. But it was pointless really because Sirius would find out anyway.
“Fine, he said he’s going to Hogwarts, now leave me alone.” Regulus pushed his brother off him, growling as Sirius grinned happily at him. The taxi stopped outside a block of flats and Sirius payed the driver, hopping out and dashing to get Regulus’ bag, much to his protests. He was dragged up the stairs of the flat, stopping outside a door that read 669. Sirius grinned at him, panting heavily. Regulus raised an eyebrow. “Aren’t you supposed to be a hockey player?”
“Be quiet, stairs are hard!” Said ‘hockey player’ whined. He fumbled for his key, almost dropping it in the process of turning it in the lock. As soon as the door swung open, Regulus was ushered in and his bag was thrown in the hallway, Sirius called out a greeting and dragged him to the kitchen. “I live with James, but Pete lives just down the hall!”
“Of course, he does. You would shrivel up and die if your friends weren’t in your immediate reach.” Regulus mocked sarcastically, shrugging his brother off. Sirius chuckled and agreed earnestly before frowning.
“Now, where’s my Prongsie?” He hummed, giving Regulus a mischievous look before cupping his hands to his mouth. Regulus, horrified, clamped his hands over his ears just in time to stop himself from going deaf. “JAMES WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU?”
There was a crash somewhere in the flat and Sirius looked triumphantly at his brother who glared. “Come on, that was pretty funny, no?” Regulus scowled. “Ugh, you’re boring. Come meet James!” Sirius turned the corner and flung open a door to reveal a nice-looking bedroom.
There was a shirtless boy sprawled out on the floor, glasses askew and face flustered as he peered up at the two. “James, meet my brother Reggie!” Sirius exclaimed, gesturing dramatically.
“Regulus is fine.” He sighed, rolling his eyes.
“Oh- erm- hey.” James scrambled up, dark skin turning as red as his pyjama bottoms. Regulus took a moment to properly look at the boy, glancing at his toned abs and broad shoulders before flicking up to his eyes. Fuck. They were far too pretty for Regulus' liking, so he dragged his attention away from them entirely. The boy smiled sheepishly, drawing his attention to his lips. Regulus cursed himself for wondering what it would feel like to kiss them. Sirius was rambling enough to cover his brother's lack of conversation, the boy just ruffled his own hair and stood there grinning. He was quite amused by the boys’ awkwardness, to be honest. Regulus smirked slightly to himself, slowly coming to the realisation that he was making James nervous. Now that was pretty funny.
“James was probably wanking before we came in here, the wanker.” Sirius tutted to his brother, giving his friend a disgusted look. James looked downright horrified, face turning even redder if possible.
“No, I wasn’t you idiot, shut up!” Sirius just laughed, ruffling his friend’s hair. The two squabbled at each other, fake fighting in a childish way as Regulus stared. It was kind of weird, watching them. There was something brotherly about the way they played about, something which reminded him painfully of the gaping hole inside him where his own childhood had been ripped from. He wasn’t even jealous. Just- broken.
He cleared his throat, glancing at Sirius and turning to leave.
“Wait Reggie! Don’t leave me!” Sirius cried, scrambling up to dramatically reach out for his younger brother. Regulus flipped him off as he walked back to the kitchen. He could hear James and his brother bickering as they followed him down the hallway. Sirius sat a now fully clothed James and his brother down at the table to introduce them properly, pouring glasses of juice which the two hockey players then chugged down competitively
Regulus watched them; eyebrows raised as he took a small sip. James cleared his throat.
“Sorry about that introduction, you know before. Just to clarify I was not wanking off, I swear.” His voice was almost pleading, but he glared good naturedly at Sirius. Regulus nodded slowly.
“I'm James, as you already know. My favourite hobby is hockey. Uh, that’s all I can really think of introduction wise, but I’ve been playing since I was four.” James beamed. “What about you Reggie? I heard you're a competitive figure skater.”
There were so many things that he hated about that last sentence, that he had to just take a moment to stare in annoyance at the boy in front of him. James’ face dropped in mild fear. “Sorry, did I say something?”
Regulus couldn’t bring himself to reply, but a muscle in his jaw jumped. James spluttered helplessly and he turned to look at Sirius who froze half-way through pouring himself more orange juice. Regulus looked pointedly at the table which had already gained a pool of juice on it. Sirius yelped and hurried to clean it up as his brother sighed.
“Sirius, I told you, I'm not figure skating anymore.” Regulus bit out through gritted teeth. Sirius looked slightly guilty.
“You said you’d think about it!” He tried, grinning sheepishly. Regulus just sighed again, turning back to James who looked like he was freaking out. He opened his mouth to blurt out another string of apologies, but Regulus cut him off with a look.
“It’s alright, I guess. I used to figure skate you see, but I quit. I didn’t want Sirius to say anything because it could get out and everything would go to shit.” James nodded along earnestly.
“Well, even if you’re not competing anymore, I’d still like to see you skate. You should come down to the rink one time to watch us practice and we can skate after!”
“Yes! Prongs you’re the smartest!” Sirius encouraged, and the two high-fived one another excitedly. Regulus grimaced, trying his hardest not to be mean. This was much harder than people made it look.
“I…don’t know.”
They turned to him. James looked confused but Sirius just groaned.
“What do you mean you don’t know?” James asked, but before Regulus could answer Sirius butted in.
“He’s convinced himself that he hates skating and he shouldn’t skate anymore. He’s got Skatepression!” James gasped and looked at Regulus pitifully.
“Regulus has Skatepression? That’s terrible!”
“What even is this? It sounds dumb.” Regulus muttered. James looked mournful as he stared at Regulus with huge brown eyes glistening with dramatic sadness.
“Skatepression is serious! It’s when someone suffers a traumatic event and falls out of love with skating, a lot of star players have had it.” He explained. Sirius hummed in agreement, leaning over the table to narrow his eyes.
“Yes, we definitely have a case of Skatepression here. But how do we cure it Doc?” He asked, clearly knowing the answer as James turned to grin at Regulus.
“Simple! We have to make you fall back in love with skating again!” Regulus was not impressed.
“You two really are stupide.”
“No, no, James is right! If you really do have Skatepression, then we need to cure it. You were born for the ice, Reggie. I won’t let you give up!”
“Me neither!” James piped up.
“You don’t even know me.” Regulus pointed out. James shrugged and puffed out his chest.
“I’m just that good.” He winked and Regulus glowered at him.
“James, stop flirting with him." Sirius hissed, then he was leaning over the table like an impatient toddler to peer at Regulus. "What do you say dear brother?” Sirius asked eagerly. Regulus looked at him properly. His shoulders slumped a little in defeat as he glanced between his brother’s and James’ hopeful faces.
“You know what? Fine.” He relented. The two idiots got up and celebrated, Regulus rubbing his face in exhaustion and regretting his decision immediately. When they finally calmed down, he cleared his throat. They turned to him, faces lit up with excitement.
“I’ll do this on one condition.” He warned. They nodded slowly. “Don't call me Reggie.” Sirius' face fell and he pouted until James whispered something and he smirked.
“ ‘Course not Reg.” Sirius announced. The younger brother groaned and threw his hands up in the air. Sirius grinned at James who smirked and clapped decisively, his captain instincts seemingly taking over. Regulus had a particular distaste for this, but he once again chose graciously to sweep past it and be the kind person he is trying to be by ignoring it.
“Right, first things first we need to see you skate. You need to get back on the ice!” James beamed.
“You brought your skates, right?” Sirius asked sharply.
“Yeah, I brought my skates you twat.”
“Then let’s go!”
“Right now?” Regulus grumbled, looking at the clock. He’d only been in London for an hour. “At least let me unpack first before you get me to relive my trauma.” He was only half joking, but Sirius barked out a laugh.
“See! I told you, trauma jokes are the best.” He nudged James who looked half exasperated and half amused. Sirius pulled Regulus from his seat and chucked him his bag. “Come on, I’ll show you your room. James go get ready!”