Atonement

Chapter Six

“Ms. Potts, Captain Rogers is here to see you.”

Pepper’s head snapped up in surprise by her assistant’s announcement. Steve had never once come up alone to her office since moving into the tower. The soldier still has her number so whatever Steve must be in for must be important.

“Send him in, Ash. Thanks. Oh, and you can go home after this. We’ll be fine,” instructed Pepper accordingly.

A minute later, the captain entered her office looking frazzled and frankly in a daze. The sight had Pepper stand in alarm, worried about her best friend’s alpha. The whole team, specifically Natasha, had been keeping her informed of Steve’s condition. Regardless of the mess between him and Tony, Pepper really does care about the captain.

“Steve?” Pepper blinked. “What happened?”

“Tony. You said you know where Tony is, right?” Steve’s words were direct but his tone showed a hint of trepidation.  

The CEO arched her brows high. "I do, Captain, but I will not disclose it no matter what you say."

The thing was, Steve simply nodded like he already knew. Pepper can't imagine what his goal was if he knew he wouldn't get a word out from her.

"I only need confirmation," started the captain. Pepper leaned forward, curious as to where the conversation is going. If it were confirmation that Pepper knew where Tony was which he needed, he obviously got it. Unfortunately, she hadn't realized Steve would never stop there. "I need confirmation that my mate is with his family in Piemonte."

Pepper couldn’t tell exactly when asked later what her first reaction was. She'd insist she was composed and calmly asked Steve Rogers his reasons for thinking such theory.

But honestly? All she did was gape at the Super-soldier. JARVIS can attest to that.

It wasn't until Steve nodded again resolutely as if she had just given him everything he needed to know, that Pepper sprang into action.

"Please sit down, Steve," she said in a steady voice.

Steve did as he was told. His shoulders were tensed but his eyes showed relief. Pepper debated whether to admit he was right or keep up the charade. She doesn't think Steve would believe her anyway, not when her initial reaction says something entirely different. Steve was a master tactician. It's not difficult for him to distinguish when someone is lying.

"Where did you get that information?" She asked seriously. No one apart from her and Rhodey even know that Tony still has a living family. They only ever found out because Tony’s maternal family went to great lengths to get in contact with Pepper when Tony went missing in Afghanistan. It was the first time she ever saw that many people frantically worrying about the eccentric billionaire.  

She always wondered how no one bothered to look into Tony's extended family. It wasn't exactly difficult to deduce. Tony was proud of his Italian heritage. Then again, Howard Stark was a quarter Italian. She, like many others, assumed that's what Tony meant when he says he's got Italian roots. No one knew Maria Stark before she married Howard. It was the 70s so it wasn't hard to believe. And when Tony created JARVIS, one of the first tasks he ordered was to hide all of his mother's background information. It helped that Tony's family had never spoken to the media about their relation. She thought it was weird until Tony explained to her how important privacy was to the Carbonells.

There was always a chance Tony had told Steve. They were bonded for god's sake. However, it still boggles Pepper why Steve only thought of it now when months had already passed.

"He has a record book. It has pictures of him during his childhood. One of those had Piemonte written on them," explained Steve rigidly. "I forgot about it, honestly. But then Sam said something about family having my back and I remember Tony... I remember him saying almost the same thing. La famiglia è la famiglia is what he used to say."

"Family is family. The Carbonells take care of their own. He's told me the same." Pepper smiled amidst the crisis she was feeling. She shook his head to get her mind back on track. "But Steve, even if what you say is true. That he's really where you think he is. You can't go jumping on the next flight to Italy and corner him."

Steve raised his palm to stop Pepper before she can warn him. "I know, Pep. I'm not going after him. Not yet, anyway. But I can't... I can't live not knowing where my mate is. My alpha instincts are going crazy, Pepper. At least now— at least now I know he's really safe."

Well, that's a pleasant surprise. Steve Rogers, as she knew from Tony's several rants, had the impulse control of a toddler. Ironic, truly, coming from the man with an equally juvenile impulse control.

"What are you going to do with this information, then?" she asked out of curiosity.

Steve shrugged, looking away for a moment. "I'll follow him eventually. There's nothing in this world that would stop me from doing that. I will follow him anywhere.

"But right now, I have to fix myself first. Be what Tony needs. Be the Alpha I have always wanted to be. I'm taking up Sam's offer to join him in one of those VA group sessions. Maybe I'll give therapy a chance."

A pleased smile graced Pepper's face. This is good. This is perfect, actually. Steve is truly trying. She's glad he's finally accepting help, not just because of what happened between him and Tony, but because it was a long time coming. Steve needed to talk about his emotions. He needed to have someone be clear to him and get it in his mind that PTSD is a real thing. That there's such a thing as survivor's guilt. It's what lead to this whole mess in the first place. His guilt for what happened to his best friend took over his life, and now he and Tony had to suffer. Steve deserves to be happy, and Pepper's glad he's finally taking that step.

And so, she did what she does best. She offered to help him look for potential therapists in the area. She'd hate for Steve to have to rely on the ones on SHIELD's payroll. They were incompetent— to put it mildly. That organization already hadn't given the captain his needed adjustment period as they should have. They didn't even bother helping Barnes until Steve demanded a different, outsourced psych evaluator.

Steve was grateful and told her he'll look at the list Pepper will prepare.

He couldn't stay long though. He said he left Nat, Sam, and Bucky confused and possibly mad at the penthouse. Pepper understood well enough. She thanked him for coming to her first and not running to Italy first thing since he found out. Steve thanked her back for being (partially) honest with him about everything.

They shook hands and exchanged smiles. Steve began walking out of her office.

"Oh, and Steve? I'll have to tell Tony you know where he is. I can't keep this a secret from him."

Steve paused, turned to look at Pepper gravely, and nodded, before stepping out the door and clicking it close.

--

Tony loves his family. It wasn’t something he had only realized recently. He’d known that fact before he knew what the word meant. He only ever saw them during summer breaks as a child, and even that stopped when he was 13. But those thirteen summers shaped who he is as a person. He knows that whatever may happen, the Carbonells take care of their own.

But god, does he not miss everyone’s annoying habit of babying him.

As a child, he loved the attention and the fussing he gets. Because he was the only Carbonell living outside Italy, he's usually treated like a baby every time he and his mother visited. It didn't help that the adults knew then how difficult Tony's childhood was under Howard's parenting. He wasn't the youngest by far, but Tony was treated more delicately than Stella. His aunts and uncles used to call him 'bambino' at eight when they call Charles by his first name at four. Even his cousins thought Tony was something fragile, always asking if he was alright when they play, or feed him snacks at regular intervals. They never alluded to being jealous of the special treatment Tony got from their parents. In fact, they all loved it when Tony came to visit. It meant their parents would stop hovering a little. Tony didn't know and still doesn't know most of them eavesdrop on their parents' conversations about Howards not being kind to their cousin.

Tony loved the fussing as a child. But that didn’t mean he still does at 37.

Never mind that he's pregnant.

"C'mon! I'm fine, guys. I'm not an invalid," grumbled Tony as he swatted three different hands from 'helping' him stand.

"Well, with the rate you're growing, that's not farfetched," said Sofia unhelpfully. And she's grinning.

"Paul," Tony turned to his cousin's omega. "I sincerely hope you don't let this one knock you up. She's very inconsiderate to pregnant omegas."

Paul laughed and assured Tony it wasn't happening anytime soon. The pout Sofia sent him was honestly devastating.

"Serves you right, little cousin. They haven't fussed over you for what? 24 years? You've accumulated a lot of attention, man," added Gianni. "This is why I don't want to get pregnant. Ugh, the hovering."

"No, honey. You didn't want to get pregnant because it ruins your figure," Joaquin offered, earning him a slight smack on the thigh from the omega.

"Oh, hush, you."

Tony doesn't know why he bothers anymore.

"Anyway, Antonio, do you have a name yet for your bambino?" asked Marco, trying to shift the focus into a much more civilized discussion. His children and Paul's nephew were out with the older generation checking the conditions of the grapes while they took the afternoon to relax in the living room.

Tony beamed widely. "Nothing definitive yet for the first name but I do have a middle name in mind."

His cousins and their partners eagerly pried the information out of him, yet Tony wouldn't say what it was until his baby was born. He didn't want to give him an official name before he saw him, fearing it wouldn't feel right when the time comes.

Lucas suggested the name Luke while Charles shared he's always been partial to the name Charlie. None of which were helpful to Tony.

"You know, when Sofia told me we're visiting family in Piedmont, I never imagined a superhero billionaire in my near future," said Paul offhandedly.

Joaquin snorted, being the only other person in the room feeling exactly the same way.

The others went quiet. It wasn’t exactly an easy notion to be discussed. Growing up, they were aware that their American cousin was an heir to a then multi-million company. The Carbonells were a wealthy family but they have never been near the Stark wealth level. They’re proud of Tony and for what he made of the war-profiteering industry he was left with, but it made things difficult for regular contact. For some time, most of them did resent their cousin for forgetting family. They saw him a lot in the media doing all sorts of bad decisions but not once had he tried calling them or sending a message. Their parents assured them Tony would come back, but 15 years ago? It wasn’t as easy to believe.

Only when Tony was kidnapped back in 2008 that they finally got to talk to their cousin. It was a horrifying couple of months. Ms. Potts and Colonel Rhodes were able to give them information but that didn’t stop them from feeling useless. But when Tony was found, none of them expected they’d be the first the billionaire tried to reach. There were a lot of dramatic and emotional conversations over the phone. They were the first people who knew about Tony’s decision to become Iron Man. They were the ones Tony asked for reassurance when he decided to shut down the weapons division of his company.

They didn’t talk a lot over the years (or at all), but they’ve always been used to that. It wasn’t so different from when they were children. They learned to accept it. Antonio will always be family. He will always be the little boy they got to spend a maximum of two months a year.

Tony sighed wistfully, aware of the thoughts that may have passed his cousins’ minds. "Honestly? Tony Stark has never really existed in this land. Here, I am Antonio Carbonell. Nothing more."

“We don’t really advertise being related to him,” Charles added, gesturing at Tony with his thumb. “Personally, I don’t see the point.”

“Gee, thanks Charlie,” snarked Tony jokingly.

“You’re just the slightly older dramatic little boy I used to play with as a kid. Which I conclude hasn’t changed at all. Both in height and in personality.”

Tony growled and threw the soldier a pillow. They never stop teasing him for his height. Tony thinks they never will.

“Oh, does this mean I’m somewhat related to Iron Man?” mused Joaquin beside his mate, making everyone laugh at his late realization. Gianni groaned and dropped his head to his palms.  

“No! Seriously though,” interrupted the alpha, “Am I related to you by law? If yes, can I see the suit?”

Tony snorted loudly. “As if this belly will fit in the suit,” he said as he pointed at his swollen stomach.

“How far along are you again?” asked Stella between sips from her fruit juice.

“Five months,” responded Tony proudly. “Only four more to go.”

“Speaking of you being pregnant,” interrupted Lucas. “What’s going on between you and your alpha, anyway? There’s hardly any reliable information from the news. Did you know one network theorizes Captain America sacrificed you to the sun god to save the world?”

“Oh! I saw that one!” piped up Sofia from her seat. “Have you seen the one where they say Tony was kidnapped by an elusive prince from an unknown country to make him his queen? That was my favorite.”

“What the hell?!” screeched the person involved in the rumors. “Where did those come from?”

Sofia shrugged casually. “At least one managed to guess you were pregnant and that Steve Rogers was hiding you because some villain wants to experiment with a super baby. How true is that? Please tell me my nephew is a super baby.”

“Oh my god, Sofia!”

“Well?”

“Good lord. No, I’m not sure if my baby has the serum. I don’t want them poking my son with needles before he’s even born. I’ll deal with it if it comes to that point,” said Tony with the fierceness of a protective parent. “As for Steve, we sort of broke up around four months ago. I haven’t talked to him since. Technically, I’m hiding. Only Pepper knows where I am.”

“Wait— for real?!” Lucas yelled. “But you’re my OTP! I totally shipped you together. What happened?”

They all stared oddly at Lucas but then nodded at Tony, also curious about what had happened.

“It’s complicated,” said Tony bleakly. Not that it deterred his nosy cousins. They haven’t moved from their leaning positions. “Has the media ever talked about Sergeant Barnes?”

Gianni gasped. “Oh, no he didn’t?!”

“No, Gio. Nothing like that. But I assume his name has been mentioned in the news, then. Anyway, Sergeant Barnes was brainwashed and turned into a weapon against his will for decades. Steve was able to track him and he brought him to the tower. I’m still not sure what happened or where it went wrong but our relationship wasn’t doing good. He was always away. I couldn’t blame him. Barnes needed a lot of help.”

Tony frowned and laid a hand protectively against his stomach. “Then, one night, he came up to me and asked if we could put our relationship on pause. I didn’t have it in me to fight it at that moment so I agreed and I left. I haven’t talked to him ever since.”

Everyone was decidedly either sympathetic or enraged on their cousin’s behalf. Sofia let out a series of heavy-handed Italian cursing on Steve’s name while Charles has been cracking his knuckles the moment Tony started his narrative.

“Does he know about the little one?” Paul asked softly.

The pregnant omega grimaced. “Didn’t really get the chance to tell him.”

“But are you planning on telling him at all?” coaxed the eldest of the group. Being the only one with pups, and an alpha no less, Tony understood Marco will ultimately find Steve not knowing about the baby a little too personal. Once an omega conceives a child, the alpha instinct usually flips into protective mode. Tony had a theory him being pregnant doubled Steve’s agitation over Barnes. Without Steve knowing about the baby, he could have mistaken the hormones for something else. He couldn’t truly say for certain that is what happened, especially since there was no way to prove it. Marco knows what that feels like, having two pups of his own. In alpha solidarity, it was obvious he wanted Tony to tell Steve as soon as possible.

“I will tell him eventually,” offered Tony tenderly. “Just… just not today.”

--

Things were less mind-consuming for Tony later that night. They were due to start harvesting the next day so Alberto and Lorenzo gathered everyone to celebrate and enjoy a family meal on the balcony, under the stars, right where the whole vineyard was visible.

It was amazing how times like this, everyone gets to forget all the troubles in the real world. Lucas and Zia Luna talked and laughed like they haven’t been ignoring each other for some time; or how Marco smiled and joked like he wasn’t struggling with the divorce and caring for two pups.

It felt like an oasis in the middle of a wide desert.

Paul’s nephew, a five-year-old omega boy named Thomas, adjusted amazingly well with a group of basically strangers. He and Marco’s pups, Henry and Amara, were already the best of friends. Sofia later admitted they were thinking about getting custody of the boy because Paul’s brother and his ex-girlfriend have all but abandoned the child to them. Paul basically raised Thomas since he was a baby. They were obviously met with love and support from her parents, Lorenzo and Alberto, who were just glad to have another grandchild to dote on.

Tony really loved watching his cousins become parents. Even Gianni couldn’t stop gushing about their fur babies. It makes him feel all the more excited about the little boy growing inside him. He loves the fact that his son could have cousins his age and he can already imagine a precious little blond mischief running around the vineyard with his older cousins (and possibly younger ones) like he did as a pup. Boy, if that’s the case, his son would be a sight for sore eyes among his brunette and olive-skinned cousins. Even Thomas, who wasn’t related to them by blood, had dark hair. 

The night was one of Tony’s best ones since coming home to Piemonte. They were a little rowdy and a whole lot drunk by the end of dinner (except for Tony and the kids, of course), but it was nice all the same. It reminded him so much of the “team-bonding night” Natasha made all of the Avengers attend, minus the pregnant belly and the small human beings playing under the table.

He misses his friends deeply. He misses his Alpha. Times like these, he finds himself brimming with longing and regret. He wasn’t being fair. It’s not his friends’ fault that things aren’t good between him and his mate. But he knew if he talked to the rest of the team, they wouldn’t let him leave. They’d force him and Steve into a room to fix things. He wasn’t ready to do that then. He still probably isn’t now.

It would be so easy—so quick to pick up his phone and dial any one of them, preferably Steve. He just wants to hear their voices again. To listen to them fighting over which movie to watch, or which restaurant to order from. He wants to listen to Steve run funny commentaries next to him and cuddle the man on their couch while all their friends complain about their PDA.

But he can’t. He doesn’t know why, but he can’t. Every time he tries to scroll down to Steve’s name on his phone, which he still hadn’t changed from sTeVE <3333, he freezes and ends up crying for an hour or two. He can’t even blame it all on his pregnancy hormones. JARVIS still filters his calls and messages so he doesn’t actually get anything if it’s not from Pepper, his interns, Rhodey, or Happy. They’re not gone, per se. All their voice mails and messages are simply stored somewhere else.

He was wistfully watching his Zio Lorenzo serenade his omega (quite wonderfully for a 70-year-old) when his watch vibrated on his wrist. He doesn’t really carry his phone with him all the time while in Piemonte so he relies on JARVIS to inform him if he gets a call from one of those few authorized people.

Tony quietly excused himself and headed up to his room for privacy. His phone was indeed ringing on top of his old dresser. One glance let him know it was Pepper calling, which was honestly a relief. He didn’t know what to say if it were Rhodey. His best friend was still blind to everything that has happened. With him on deployment, the Air Force Colonel doesn’t get that much time to listen to rumors.

“Hi, Pep! What’s up?” Tony greeted brightly.

“Tony.”

Oh.

Oh no. It was Pepper’s serious tone.  

“Pepper? What is it? Has something happened? Is Steve alright?”

“Tony, he knows. Steve knows where you are.”