Always Be My Baby

It wasn’t like they haven’t been on a family hike before. They went for hikes almost everyday when they were visiting Mike and Alice in Malibu. 

Peter absolutely loved hikes, it got his tiny busy body moving but for some reason, on this hike, he wasn’t listening and was going out of his way to piss Tony off. 

Peter knew that Tony didn’t want him running ahead, and so that’s exactly what Peter was doing. Tony was ready to ditch everyone and walk back by himself. Peter was literally getting on his last nerve and they haven’t even been hiking for an hour. 

Tony watched him run ahead, turning back to look at Tony, making sure he saw before running further ahead. Tony was tired of it. What the hell was going on with him. 

“I’m this close to turning around and walking home.” He told Pepper. He couldn’t take it. Peter was behaving terribly and wasn’t listening to anyone. Quite frankly, it was dangerous to have him on this hike when he was acting like this. There were waterfalls and cliff drops nearby. 

“I’ll go get him and walk to him. He’s just testing you, remember what Karen always tells us.” Pepper tried to reassure Tony but Peter already put him in a bad mood. 

Tony shook his head, not taking his eyes off of Peter as he sat on a log, way off the trail. “I don’t care what she says. It’s frustrating. Look at him.” He sighed. It wasn’t Peter’s fault, Peter didn’t know what he was doing wrong, that’s what he was trying to figure out by acting out like this. 

While the majority of children went through these phases in toddlerhood or early childhood, to test boundaries and see how far they could push their parents. Peter was currently going through that phase now and it was not fun in the slightest. 

Peter was testing how much control he had, he was trying to figure out what Tony and Pepper would allow. He grew up with Steve, and was still getting used to his real mom and dad and their boundaries for him. 

Tony knew that. So he had to remain patient with him and explain to Peter why this was wrong. 

But he was tired of it, so Pepper might have better luck. 

Peter saw his mom walking towards him, looking completely unimpressed and angry with him. He gasped and stood up to run away but Pepper was quick to grab his arm, kneeling down in front of him. “I am not happy with you. Dad is telling you to stop running away and to listen but you’re not. Do you need a timeout?” 

“Yeah.” 

“You do?” Pepper didn’t expect him to actually say that. So much for that threat working. 

“I want daddy to tell me no. Not you.” He stuck a dirty finger in his mouth that Pepper had to pull out. 

“But you aren’t listening to daddy. He’s not happy with you.” 

“But I want him to tell me no two more times. Then I’ll listen.” He needed to hear it a final two times, for no reason in particular, it was just what he wanted. He was testing to see how far he could push his dad but he didn’t plan for his mom to get involved. 

Plus everyone else was waiting on the path and Aiser was running back and forth, clearly just excited to be included on their hike. Peter didn’t care, he wanted what he wanted and no one could stop him. 

Well, maybe Tony could. Peter was only a tad scared of him but he was pretty good at getting what he wanted from his father. He sat back down on the log while his mom walked back over to the path, having a quick conversation with his daddy then he was walking over, his eyes burning a hole through Peter’s soul. 

“Are you ready to listen?” 

Peter just stared at him. 

“I am not happy with you. You need to understand that this hike is dangerous if you’re going to be running off like you are.” Tony would rather end the hike early with an upset child than be flying back home with Peter in a body bag because he fell off a cliff. 

The thought gave Tony anxiety and he suddenly wanted to turn around right now and walk back to the golf cart. 

“Cause I’m being bad?” 

“You are.” 

“I’m not being bad though.” 

Tony sighed and kneeled down in front of the log. “You aren’t listening to me. The one rule I had for you was to stay close by and not run ahead. And that’s exactly what you’re doing. Do you understand why that’s very naughty?” 

“Um…” Peter had to think about it. He saw Aiser running towards them and smiled. “Aiser! He wants to run with me.” 

“No, look at me, Peter. I’m talking to you.” Tony waited until Peter’s eyes met his. He wanted to know so badly what was running through his head and why it was so hard for him to understand that his actions had consequences. “You cannot run ahead, there are cliffs nearby and waterfalls that you can fall down. Do you understand how dangerous that is?” 

“Cause I can fall and hit my head. Then I’ll cry.” 

That’s the best case scenario. “Yeah, or worse. So you need to put your listening ears on and listen to me. Because if I have to tell you to stop running one more time, we’re turning back.” 

“I don’t want to turn back.” 

“That’s up to you. You need to listen. Can you do that?” 

“Um… I don’t like listening.” 

That much was obvious. “I know you don’t but you need to sometimes, like right now. Right?” 

“Well… I don’t have to listen 5 percent of the time. Alright?” 

What was Peter even getting on, Tony didn’t know. “Okay. That works for me.” Standing up, Tony held his hand out for him, pulling him to his feet. “Promise me you’ll listen.” 

“I pinky promise. Cause you can’t break a pinky promise.” Holding his much smaller finger out, he wrapped it around his dads then took his hand, letting Tony bring them back onto the trail with everyone else. “I’m going to listen now. I wasn’t listening before.” 

“Great. Can we continue walking now?” Harley had lost his patience along with Tony. Why couldn’t they do anything as a family without Peter acting up. He sometimes wondered how life would be if they never got Peter back, but chances are, his dad would either be dead or not in their life, Tony and Pepper would be divorced, and Morgan and him would most likely be living in Malibu with their grandparents. 

Obviously Harley loved Peter and would do anything for him, he was his baby brother, of course he loved him. But Peter was also not the same boy he once was just a few months ago. 

He changed. 

And the scariest part was that he might never be the same person again. 

“I’m going to listen now, Harley.” 

Harley walked ahead. “Yeah. Wow. Are you even capable of doing that.” 

“Harley.” Tony warned. 

“I am capable.” Insisted Peter. He leaned down to pick a stone off the ground and put it in his mouth. 

“Peter. Spit that out. Can you not put anything in your mouth for the rest of the trip. Spit it out.” After getting him to spit it out, Tony looked at Pepper. This was not fun for him. It would have been more fun if they stayed back at the house while everyone else came. Geez. 

“But then I’ll starve!” 

“You won’t starve. You can eat food, rocks aren’t food.” Why did he even have to tell him that, Tony didn’t know. He decided to pick him up and held him on his hip. That way he couldn’t run off or put anything in his mouth. “Can you guys keep an extra eye on him too and make sure he doesn’t put anything in his mouth?” He told Pepper, Alice and Mike, needing them to know just because he physically couldn’t have eyes on Peter at all times, no matter how badly he wanted to. 

“Just tell him to stop putting things in his mouth.” Mike actually had the audacity to say. As if he didn’t know Peter. 

Tony chuckled. “Yeah. Let me just step on your foot then I’ll tell you to just make it stop hurting. It’s obviously not going to work.” 

“Do we not have a p-a-c-i-f-i-e-r?” Pepper had to spell it out because if Peter found out they didn’t actually bring one with them, he would freak out. Although he didn’t need it right now, he needed to know it was there for him when he was ready for it. 

“No. I didn’t bring one. It’s fine.” He set Peter on his feet once he started wiggling to be put down. “You don’t need to hold my hand but you need to stay close by. Okay?” 

“I know. Stop saying that.” 

“I’m repeating myself because you aren’t listening.” 

“Well I am listening now. Urg!” He kicked the ground, turning around to give Tony a dirty look then he ran to walk beside Morgan. 

“That boy is going to give me a run for my money.” 

“I think you need to be more strict with him. He’s easy to control now, but wait until he’s seventeen and trying to sneak out.” Mike was just trying to help but his comment was unnecessary in Tony’s mind. 

“It’s a trauma response. You want me to yell at him for dealing with all the trauma he went through in the only way he knows how.” Tony would always have Peter’s back, no matter what, and no matter with who. “He’s trying his best, Mike.” 

They watched Peter and Morgan run ahead but stopped before they got too far. “Look, dad! I’m listening!” 

“Good job, buddy!” 

“I’m just saying, don’t you think it would be counterproductive to be strict with him now so he doesn’t run wild when he’s older.” 

“Dad, Peter’s a good kid, we’re raising him properly. That’s not something Tony and I are worried about right now. He will get older and will mature, then these phases will be done.” Pepper glared at her father, who had no right to talk about this right now. He understood the struggles they were dealing with. 

Tony almost felt insulted and he was not in the mood to be listening to this right now. Not after the past hour. “You guys can continue talking about this but I don’t have the patience for it. So I’m going to join my kids and enjoy this time we have together.” 

Of course Tony felt bad for Peter. The poor boy was struggling and didn’t even know it. Peter was trying to get through life the only way he knew how, and part of him coping with his trauma was for him to regress. And sure, that also meant he acted out and was labeled as a difficult child but at the end of the day, Tony honestly didn’t care. He thanked god every single day that Peter was in his life and that he got to be the boy's father. 

He walked up ahead, ruffling Peter’s curls. “Are you two leading the way?” Tony asked. They were stopped by a sign that Harley was trying to read but it was so worn out. 

“Yeah. I’m the leader and everyone has to follow me. If you don’t, you have to sit on that log for a two minute time out.” He pointed to one of the logs then turned to his sister. His childish imagination was something else. “You should go sit on it.” 

“I’m listening. I always listen.” 

Peter shoved her. Show off. 

“Hey. No pushing. Guys, we might need to climb up this hill if we want to go see the waterfall.” Tony tried to translate the map on his phone but the service was absolutely brutal but he was pretty sure the only way to the waterfall was up. Plus it looked like people made it easier to get up with all the built in steps and a rope. 

“We can’t climb up that.” Morgan didn’t approve. She could see that it was too dangerous but Peter was ready for the climb.  

“I can go first!” 

“Well what does the map say?” Pepper asked as she put Peter’s hair into a tiny ponytail on the top of his head to keep his fringe out of his face. 

“It’s in Maldivian. It translated to ‘this way to the springs’. I’m assuming it’s literally this way.” He gestured up the hill with his head. “Who’s up for a climb?” 

“Me! I am! Can I go first?” Of course Peter wanted to go first. Tony would choose the order though. 

“Harley’s going to go first, then you can, Petey pie. Harls, can you help him up? Then just wait at the top for us since you’ll get there first.” It wasn’t too steep but they also had two young kids and two elderly. Mike and Alice were very fit for their age but they were still in their seventies. 

“I can climb, don’t act like I’m an old man, Tony.” Mike gave Tony a firm pat on his back before he began to climb behind Peter. Peter was already climbing up, that boy loved climbing so this would be so much fun for him. 

Next was Alice, and then Morgan and Pepper. Tony went last. He would’ve preferred to help Peter up but the boy was already beating Harley up. 

“Remember to wait at the top for me, baby!”

“I know!” Peter stopped to wait for Harley. He grabbed onto a branch but it snapped and he slid down a few feet. “Woah!” 

“I got you.” Harley was quick to grab Peter’s hand to steady him and stop him from sliding down any further. 

“Thanks. I almost slid on my bum all the way to the bottom.” 

“Yeah. Almost.” 

“That would’ve been fun…” 

Harley could tell his little brother was thinking about it. And once he had an idea in his mind, he went for it without any other consideration. “You would get your butt and back all cut up. Don’t even think about it, Pete.” 

“I know. I’m not…” He picked up a stick to chew on but it was ripped out of his mouth right after. “Hey. Owww! That hurt, Harley.” 

“Why do you put everything in your mouth?” 

“Why do you care? Mind your own business.” Peter huffed, turning away from Harley’s concerned expression. 

“I’m just asking because I’m your big brother and I care about you.” Harley started climbing further up so Peter followed closely behind him. “Do you think you can make it all the way to the top?” 

Although Peter was clumsy, he had amazing athletic abilities. Just like when he was snowboarding, being able to climb just about anything and now, he is climbing this pretty steep cliff with barely any help. 

And not to mention, it was an amazing family bonding experience. 

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Peter yawned. He was feeling pretty tired from their hike today but it was a good kind of tired. The tired you feel after a long, productive day of having fun and making memories. 

Maybe he didn’t want to leave the Maldives. It had been such an amazing trip so far and it was only their second day. 

He yawned again and poked his food around on the plate. He wasn’t that hungry but he couldn’t stop drinking the juice his dad brought for him. Peter looked over at Tony, feeling the man’s eyes on him. When his assumptions were right, he smiled. “Why're you staring at me?” 

“Am I not allowed to stare at my son? You’re adorable and I love you.” Tony was so proud of him for today. He knew he had some difficult moments listening but he was trying his best and that’s all Tony could truly ask for. 

“Well you can look at me but you’re staring.” 

Tony squeezed his chubby cheeks together. “You’re too cute. Eat your food. Do you want me to cut it up?” 

“I’m not that hungry.” Peter pushed the food around on his plate some more. He wasn’t too hungry but the food also wasn’t that appealing to him here. 

Tony could see that he was tired and he didn’t want to push him. He had a pretty big lunch and did a lot of snacking all day so it wasn’t like he was starving. “Eat what you can, don’t eat if you don’t feel like it, bubs.” He tucked some hair behind his ear then leaned back in his chair, listening to the conversation at the table. 

Peter scooted forward in his chair, sitting on the edge and putting his head in his hand. He was enjoying the company of his family, feeling his dad pat his knee under the table in a reassuring touch. Tony probably sensed he was feeling a bit sleepy but he didn’t say anything. 

Morgan re-told some of the events that happened today at the waterfall as if they weren’t all there but Peter enjoyed listening to the stories. He couldn’t wait to scroll through his parents phone later tonight and look at all the pictures they took. 

He yawned again, feeling his eyes become more heavy as the minutes passed. He glanced at his dads lap, deciding if he should crawl onto it when he heard a loud squeal coming from the table beside them. 

Peter looked to his left, seeing two men and a young boy, laughing about something. 

“You should’ve seen his face! He was so excited to catch his first wave.” One of the men exclaimed with a British accent. Peter made eye contact with him, the man smiling at him but he looked away uncomfortably and went back to pushing the food around on his plate. 

“Little bear, why don’t you slow down before you make yourself ill.” 

Peter’s head snapped back at the table. Little bear. He was suddenly that boy sitting at the table with those two men, Steve and Bucky. They never left the country, Peter didn’t think anything of it then but now he knew it was because he didn’t have a legit passport. 

But he couldn’t help but think of himself sitting across the table from his kidnappers, the man who once claimed he loved him. The man that tried to kill him and take him from this world, from his family, from Tony… 

Little bear. 

Peter sat in the bedroom, swinging his legs back and forth while he waited for Steve to come back with his bottle. He was cold even though it was warm in the room, he just couldn’t stop shivering. 

But maybe that was due to the fear he was feeling. 

The door opened and Peter jumped, tucking his feet underneath him. 

“It’s nap time for my little bear.” 

Peter sniffled. 

“Buck and I need to take care of some things so I need you to stay asleep for a little bit.” Steve handed him the bottle of milk and Peter knew this time it had drugs in it to put him to sleep for a few hours which made him feel weak and groggy, like he was awake but wasn’t sure if he was real. 

He hated that feeling. 

His body was already trying to fight off the other drugs in his system. 

“I’ll stay in here. I don’t need that milk.” Peter cautiously said. He could probably fall asleep anyways, he didn’t want to be drugged anymore. 

“Shh, it’s okay, little bear. Daddy just wants you to sleep.” Gently, Steve raised the bottle up to his lips. “Just close your eyes, little bear.” 

Peter whimpered, squeezing his eyes shut. 

“Are you okay?” 

“What?” 

“What’s wrong, bubs?” 

Peter opened his eyes and looked up at Tony’s concerned face. “I…” He opened his mouth to speak but felt a feeling he hasn’t felt in a long time. Looking down at his lap, he watched as his grey shorts turn dark grey, feeling so upset with himself. “I’m peeing.” 

“Oh.” Tony didn’t expect that. It’s been a few weeks since he’s had an accident and he’s been doing so well at staying dry. Of course he had to pee himself in the middle of dinner. “Okay. That’s okay. Let’s just… here.” Tony grabbed the diaper bag off the floor and dug inside. Reason 501 why they brought this bag everywhere. It almost always came in handy. 

Peter looked down at his now wet lap, wondering why this happened. He hadn’t even realized he needed to pee, he had gotten so good at knowing his body’s needs. 

“Pep, Pete just peed himself.” Tony quietly said to let her know but everyone heard and looked at Peter. 

“Oh no. Baby. Did you need to go?” Pepper was sitting in the seat next to him but didn’t even notice until Tony said something, Tony wouldn’t even have noticed until he stood up. 

“I… I dunno.” 

“Do you need me to come?” She asked Tony but he already had it handled. 

“No, I’ve got him.” Tony swung the diaper bag over his shoulder and held his hand out for Peter. “Let’s go to the bathroom, buddy.” 

The restaurant they were eating at was a quiet outdoor one in the middle of the jungle. Mainly older people sat at the tables, seeming to be focusing more on their partner than anything else, besides for the two men and little boy sitting next to them who was looking down at Peter’s pants then up at Tony, giving him a sincere look of understanding. No judgment there. 

“I’m sorry.” Peter whispered as they walked past the tables and towards the bathrooms which ended up being two shacks. He did not want to go in there. 

“Oh, baby. You don’t need to apologize, my sweet boy. It was an accident. Were you holding it for too long?” Tony brought him beside the bathroom shacks. No one was there so he could change him here no problem. 

Tony sensed something was wrong with Peter. He was quiet the whole dinner and he knew it was more than simply being tired. 

He was clingy when he was tired. 

Tony tugged down his wet shorts and underwear, placing them in a wet bag and grabbing wipes out. 

“Steve used to call me little bear.” Admitted Peter, a bit unsurely, as if he wasn’t sure if he should be bringing him up. 

Tony paused. He didn’t want Peter to take his hesitation as him not approving of the mention of Steve. Karen said it was good news when Peter brought him up, it would help him accept what happened and move on from it. Obviously Tony didn’t want to hear about Peter’s kidnapper, listening to his son talk about the man who stole his baby from him, but it was good. It meant healing. 

“Yeah. I know that.” Tony didn’t want to scare him away, he wanted to say the right thing. “Did something remind you of him?” 

Peter shrugged. 

“Remember how we discussed how important it is for you to use your words and tell me how you’re feeling. I can’t do that if you shut down like this, baby. Talk to me.” 

“I… the people… at the table.” 

“What people?” 

“The… I don’t know! The people!” 

Tony put the wipe down to take Peter’s hand in his. “Take a breath. Just breathe. The people sitting next to us?” 

“The guy… he called him little bear. And… it made me think… think of-think of… urg.” He was trying so hard to vocalize what he was feeling, how he was back in that house with Steve… 

“Take your time. What did it make you think of?” 

“Finger Lakes. That’s-that’s where I went to. And-and it just gave me a-a-a-a… memory of being there. And I was so tired and bad feeling cause… cause S-Steve… he put… sleepy medicine in my bottle.” Peter took a breath. That was so freaking hard to get out and express. 

Tony was so freaking proud of him for expressing himself. He didn’t know what Peter knew about the drugging. This proves that Peter did in fact know Steve was putting something in his bottles but he just didn’t know the severity of it. 

Peter could’ve died. 

He would’ve died of a drug overdose if they didn’t get him to the hospital in time. 

Tony pulled him in for a hug. “So when the man called that boy little bear, it gave you a bad flashback?” 

“Yeah… a flashback.” 

“It’s so good that you’re talking about this. It feels better than holding it in, doesn’t it?” 

Peter shrugged, trying to get a read on how his dad was feeling about the situation. He pulled away from the hug, placing both of his hands on Tony’s face. “Is Steve dead?” 

“Yeah. He is.” Peter was actually acknowledging this. Oh my god. The moment Tony’s been waiting for for so many months. 

“He died in the hospital?” Peter asked, emotionless. 

“Yeah… he died when you both came to the hospital.” Tony explained. He would explain it in more detail when Peter was older if he wanted to know, but for now, he didn’t want to confuse him with knowledge he wouldn’t understand. 

“Oh. But dead is gone forever. Right?” He needed to make sure. 

“Yeah,” Oh, this was such a tricky subject. Tony decided just to focus on the facts. “Steve is dead. You’ll never, ever see him again. I promise you. Do you trust me?” 

“Well, yeah.” Wasn’t that obvious? 

Tony kissed his forehead. “Then trust me when I tell you, Steve is gone forever. Alright?” 

“Bucky’s not. Maybe-maybe he’ll come back with Steve. And-and take Morgan this time.” Peter’s heartbeat was picking up. He was so worried. 

Tony thought they were getting somewhere. What age did children understand death again? Why was Peter having such a difficult time accepting this? “No, baby. Steve is dead and Bucky is locked up, far, far away.” Tony didn’t want to tell him where. 

He wished he could read what was going through Peter’s head. 

“I-okay. Can I have paci?” He looked in the bag, he knew a few were in there. 

Tony hesitated but ultimately decided to give it to him. He pulled one out and handed it to him then wiped his privates and thighs clean before pulling out a fresh pair of underwear but stopping. Peter was clearly in a bad headspace right now and there was no guarantee he wouldn’t have another accident with Steve on his mind. 

So, he put the underwear back and pulled out a diaper. “You’re safe, Peter. No matter what, I’ll protect you. I promise you that.” 

Peter nodded, letting his dad get the diaper on him then he fell into the man’s arms, wanting comfort from him. Tony stood back up on his feet, lifting Peter up with him and hoisting him onto his hip. “I love you so much.” 

Nuzzling against him, Peter hummed in response. 

Walking back over to their table, Tony sat down, bringing Peter’s leg over to his other side so he could hold him against his chest. He took a deep breath, remembering reading somewhere that when you’re close to someone like this, your heartbeats match each other's rhythms. Him and Peter were so often this close, so their heartbeats probably beat as one most of the time. 

Only made sense since Peter owned his whole heart. 

He felt Peter let out a breath of air and tilt his head down and without even looking down at him, Tony knew that meant he was closing his eyes and getting ready for sleep. 

It felt like being home with Peter tucked against his chest, exactly where he’s supposed to be. 

The car ride home was uneventful. 

They took their truck since it was raining and no one wanted to get soaked before dinner, despite it being so warm out. Tony buckled Peter into his car seat, thanking himself for bringing it on this trip. It was a lifesaver, quite literally. Tony sat next to him, squished between the bulky car seat and Morgan. 

Mike was driving them home and Harley sat next to him while Pepper and Alice sat in the back with Aiser. They were chatting quietly to each other but their conversation didn’t seem interesting so Tony didn’t bother listening in and instead watched Peter sleep. 

He looked so peaceful. 

Why couldn’t he look like that all the time?

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Peter woke up, feeling around on the bed for his pacifier that had fallen out of his mouth at some point. He couldn’t find it so he sat up and looked around the dimly lit room. 

It was hot. He was sweaty. 

His dad was sleeping on his right side, facing him, and his mom was on his other side, her back to him. He sat up on his knees and reached across his dad to grab his bottle of water off the nightstand table, drinking the last of it. 

Great. It was empty and he was still thirsty. 

Having no idea what time it was, he slid out of bed, almost stepping on Aiser. “Why are you on the floor, Aisey. You can sleep with me. But first, water. Cold water.” 

With his water bottle in tow, he left the bedroom and went downstairs. It was dark. The light was on outside so he was able to see the steps in front of him but barely. 

Aiser almost tripped him walking down the stairs too which was so not appreciated. 

He walked over to the fridge to fill up his bottle but then decided the water from the fountain outside would taste way better so he opened the back door easily and walked out. 

Aiser barked at him, running in front of him. “Hey. Move out of my way. I’m thirsty.” He dodged him and ran towards the fountain, opening the lid and climbing to sit on the ledge so he could fill his water bottle up. 

The water was fresh, like hose water on a sunny day. 

Aiser barked again, running circles around the fountain like he was trying to tell him something. “Are you thirsty too? Jump up. Up up, Aiser.” He put his paws on the stone edge but didn’t take any sips. “Suit yourself.” 

Jumping off, Peter screwed the lid on wrong and ran towards the pool only to get thrown to the ground by his dog. He landed on all fours on the grass, whimpering. “Daddy.” He weakly cried out, pushing himself up to stand up again but Aiser grabbed the back of his diaper, trying to drag him back towards the house. “Owww! Bad dog.” 

Aiser ripped his diaper off, freeing Peter. 

“Hey. That’s mine.” He wanted his dog, feeling so hurt that his dog was being so rude to him. He crawled back into the house, only standing up on his feet once he made it to the stairs. 

After running into the humid room, he climbed back onto the bed, annoyed. “Hmmmm!” He was angry at Aiser but couldn’t stay mad at his dog. He grabbed a new pacifier on the nightstand table and laid down, flipping onto his stomach to try and fall asleep but he couldn’t without help. It was exhausting to not be able to sleep by himself. 

He moved closer to Tony, bringing his fathers limp arm around him so he could be held. 

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Tony woke up soaked. 

He wasn’t wearing a shirt, only boxers, but he was still wet. He opened his eyes, blinking away the sunrise coming through the window, lighting up the room in a warm glow. 

Pepper was still sleeping and so was Peter but when he looked down, he saw no diaper on him, leading Tony to believe he was soaked with more than just sweat. Nice. The bed below was soaked and Tony prayed there was a mattress protector on it. 

He also hated that he had to wake Peter up to get the bed cleaned. He shook him awake and lifted him up, bringing him into the washroom. “What happened to your diaper, buddy?” 

“Mmm.” He was too tired to speak, just to lay his head on Tony’s shoulder. 

“Now we’re both covered in pee. Why did you take it off?” He turned the shower on and stepped in, placing Peter on his feet but waiting for him to catch his balance. He didn’t get an answer from him but he wasn’t really expecting one. He remained silent when he first woke up. 

He was in the middle of washing Peter and himself off when Pepper walked into the bathroom. “He peed the bed.” She observed, either from the fact that they were both in the shower or because the bed was wet. She didn’t wait for an answer as she grabbed some towels out of the closet. “Did you not put a diaper on him last night?” 

“Seriously? Yeah I just thought he could sleep naked. It’s not after all.” It was way too early for this argument. 

Pepper just gave him one of her looks that said she wasn’t having it. 

“Yes I put a diaper on him. He probably took it off.” He shut the shower off, pulling Peter out and wrapping him in a towel. “Did you take it off?” 

He pointed at Aiser. 

“Aiser didn’t take it off. You need to keep your diaper on at night. We aren’t washing sheets every night, bubs.” Tony wrapped a towel around himself, getting off his wet boxers. He sure was awake now. He could barely remember the days when he was in college and would sleep in till noon, wake up and go on his phone for the next few hours, all without getting out of bed. 

That seemed like three lifetimes ago. 

“I stripped the bedding, take god there's a mattress protector. But I didn’t find a diaper.” 

Tony thought that was weird. Maybe it fell under the bed or Peter threw it somewhere. He’d ask him in a bit. He walked into the bedroom to get some pants on but Peter reaching for his dirty water bottle caught his eye. He snatched it from him. “What’s in your sippy cup? It’s disgusting. What is this?” 

“It’s fresh water.” 

“Is this mold?” Tony thought to himself. But how would it mold, surely two nights here wouldn’t cause it to mold like that. “I’ll get you a new sippy cup. You’re not drinking this. Let’s go.” 

“Carry me.” 

Once Tony put on pants, he lifted Peter into his arms, kissing his rosy cheeks. “Can I have your paci?” A shake. “But I want to hear your voice and see your smile. It’s hidden behind paci.” 

“No.” 

Pepper would try later and Peter would probably give it up. He walked downstairs, tossing the dirty sippy cup in the sink and grabbing a clean one out of the cabinet. “Do you want milk or water?” 

“Water.” 

“Coming right up.” Since dropping the bottles, Peter rarely drank milk. Tony thought it had something to do with him no longer getting comfort from the milk in the bottles and he couldn’t help but feel awful for taking away his son’s comfort item. 

At least he still had his pacifiers. Well, no. That shouldn’t be an at least. They needed to get rid of those asap. 

“Good morning, my grand baby. Did you have such a good sleep?” Alice put a bottle of her pills on the counter to greet a sleepy Peter. 

“Morning, Alice. Want to take him for a bit so I can make breakfast.” 

“Is that even a question? Of course I do. Come here, sweet boy. Do you want to come with grandma?” Tony set Peter on his feet, ruffling his hair. 

“Go on. I’ll be right here.” 

“Should he be in a diaper, Tony? Just want to make sure.” 

“No. Only at nights.” And car rides, airport hussel and really anytime they left the house. Shit. “Yeah… he’s good.” 

He moved the pills to a higher shelf and got started on breakfast. Eggs, sausage, waffles and loads of fruit. He prepared a separate plate for Peter in an adorable bamboo plate in the shape of an elephant head. These simple moments like this made him so proud to be a father and he really couldn’t imagine his life any other way. 

He never wanted to have to imagine a life without Peter. 

He often found himself trying to imagine what would've happened if they never got Peter back four years ago, or if Steve had successfully accomplished his murder-suicide plan. The thought gave Tony chills. 

Why did he think about that? 

As if he was waiting for something to happen, like life was way too good to be true. 

Like he was waiting for Peter to leave this life. 

Tony was going to make himself crazy thinking about this. 

He took Peter’s plate, a plate for himself and Alice then walked outside where Alice had brought Peter. “Why is there a diaper on the grass?” Was the first thing Tony noticed. He put the plates down and walked over to it. It was soaked from the rain they had last night but it was definitely the diaper he put on Peter last night. “Did you come outside last night?” 

“… no.” 

Tony eyed him. He looked up at the balcony. It’s possible he could’ve thrown it out from there, they kept the doors open all night. But that could explain the dirt in Peter’s water bottle… “Are you lying to me?” 

Only one way to tell. Tony approached him and pulled his pacifier from his mouth. He immediately lifted his hand up to chew on his pointer finger. Yep. His telltale sign that he was lying. 

“Peter. You cannot leave the house at night. Ever. We are surrounded by water. There’s an ocean and a pool.” What would I do if I woke up and found your cold, lifeless body floating in the pool. “You cannot leave the house. It’s way too dangerous.” Tony sighed. How did he get Peter to understand this, explaining something is dangerous is like telling him he should be curious about it and do it anyways. 

He didn’t know if that was a typical boys will be boys or a Peter thing, he couldn’t remember if Harley was like that at his age, but then again, he wasn’t around very much then. 

“If I’m inside sleeping, I can’t see you out here. And there’s a lot of… bad things that can happen to you. So I don’t want you ever leaving the house during the night. Do you understand?” Peter nodded. “Okay. Tell me what you understand.” He pulled his fingers out of his mouth to hold his hand. 

“Um… just don’t leave the house at night cause… bad men live in that house and that house and the house in front of our house. And number 24.” 

What. Where the fuck did that come from? “Pete… I…” Tony didn’t even know what to say. Bad men. That's what Steve told Peter about him… is that what Peter was programmed to think… that if he had to be careful, it was because of the supposed bad men. Fuck. This is why Tony and Pepper had such a hard time parenting him and trying to teach him right from wrong. 

Everything was right to do in Peter’s eyes as long as he didn’t talk to strangers and followed those rules. He even thought biting and sneaking out of the house was okay. 

Tony was at a loss for words. 

“We haven’t met the neighbours yet. Why do you think they’re bad men?” 

“Cause um… cause they are. They always are. I won’t talk to them.” He grabbed his pacifier from Tony’s hand and put it back in his mouth. 

Tony wanted to scream. “Well…” what do I say what do I say. Say something. “We haven’t met them yet so we need to be careful of strangers still but I’m sure they aren’t bad men.” You could only see the top of the house through the trees and garden and the beach was still private but if you walked to that side of the property, you would be on the neighbours beach. 

Peter had yet to venture that far. 

“Yeah…” He looked at Tony like he was trying to believe him. “I’m hungry.” 

“Okay. Eat then, baby.” He made eye contact with Alice who looked just as confused as he felt. Just another reason to keep an extra eye on Peter during this trip. 

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.

.

“And pretend you’re the baby and I'm the mom.” Morgan laid a blanket on the grass, setting two of her dolls on it. 

Peter was sick of being the baby all the time. “I’m the dad and you’re the mom. I’m not the baby again.” He picked up one of the dolls and cradled it in his arms. “His name is Miles and he’s my son. And he wants to go in the pool.” 

“No, pretend we need to take them to swim lessons but you need to be the baby cause my dolls can’t go in the water.” Morgan pushed him onto the grass, causing Peter to scream. 

“No! I’m not the baby. He’s the baby.” 

“No!” 

Throwing himself back, Peter started crying, his big emotions way too much for him to handle. “No! I-I don’t want to.” 

“What’s going on?” 

“I don’ wan’ be the baby ‘gan. I’m the dad.” 

Tony kneeled onto the blanket. Peter was about ready for a nap anyways. He had been cranky for the past hour and now he was clearly overtired. “Well, Morg, if Peter doesn’t want to be the baby, he doesn’t have to be.” 

“Yes he does.” 

“Nooooahhh! I don’t!” He quickly sat up and grabbed her finger, biting it. Morgan ripped her hand away, pulling some skin off and then she was crying alongside her brother. 

Tony picked Peter up, holding his hand out for Morgan to take. “Let’s go inside. I think both of you need a nap.” The hot sun and playing in the water all day was tiring. 

Pepper frowned. “Oh no. Why are you both crying? What happened?” 

“He bit me!” Morgan sobbed. She wasn’t much of a crier. You could tell she was forcing her cries to be loud, definitely trying to get the same attention as Peter who was a naturally loud crier. His cries were real and heartbreaking though. 

“Oh no.” Pepper looked at the finger Morgan was holding out in front of her. “Peter, you don’t bite.” 

Turning his head away, he sobbed into Tony’s shoulder. That was his tired cry. “I’m going to put him down for a nap. Morgan, do you want to take a nap too?” 

“No. I want a bandaid.” 

“I’ll take care of her, go put him to sleep, cranky monster.” That for sure was the truth. When Peter was tired, he was on another level of cranky. 

“Why is everyone crying? I was going to ask if you guys wanted to paint with me.” Alice put a bin on the floor so squeeze Peter’s foot and caressed Morgan’s cheek. 

“I’m putting Peter down for a nap. But he’ll love to do that once he’s awake.” In two hours. It was the most peaceful but boring two hours everyday. 

As soon as Tony got him into a diaper and laid him down, he got comfortable and shut his eyes. He was asleep in less than three minutes. Tony stayed for an extra ten, just to make sure he actually stayed asleep but also to enjoy the quiet for a few minutes. 

But he had to go downstairs and be a father. So, after turning on the baby monitor, Tony left the room. Morgan was in a much better mood and had a bandaid on five of her fingers, a bit obsessive but okay. “Are you feeling better, ladybug?” 

“Yeah. I want Peter to say sorry to me though. He always bites me and I don’t like it.” She admitted. It was nice having a child who knew how to explain their emotions in words. 

“I know. We can talk to him when he wakes up. He needs to nap now.” 

“Well… tell him to stop biting me. Why does he always do it?” She sighed, shoving a few berries into her mouth. 

“He doesn’t understand what he’s doing. He doesn’t know how to communicate how he’s feeling like you can. Maybe you can try to help him with that, do you think?” They tried to use Morgan and Harley as an example for Peter but that only worked sometimes. 

“Maybe… just tell him to stop biting.” 

“He’ll grow out of it eventually but you’re really patient with him and I love that so much.” Morgan wasn’t actually that patient. She was only 11 years old so it wasn’t easy for her to fully understand why Peter was acting a certain way. 

And now that Peter was sleeping, he could give two hours of his full attention to Morgan. “What do you say we go surfing? Just you and me.” 

“Just us?! Okay! I’ll race you there.” 

From that reaction, Tony realized he didn’t spend enough one on one time with her. It was hard to give 100% to each child, plus some time for his wife and himself, so he didn’t go crazy. 

But they could start here. 

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.

.

They got two and a half hours of surfing in, Harley even joined them, before Peter had to be woken up. He probably would’ve kept sleeping if not and a 2.5 hour nap was a lot, even for him. 

But it was so worth it because he woke up in the best mood. 

Tony carried him downstairs where everyone greeted him, he ate an açai bowl, then him and Morgan started painting outside with Alice. Tony loved watching his kids get messy, it meant they were creating memories and living their childhood. 

So when both of his children turned into blue monsters, he couldn’t even be upset. 

He sprayed them both down with a hose, having more fun than he expected. Even Aiser joined in. The hose water was cold but refreshing in this heat. 

Peter took his pool towel and ran into the house once he was cleaned off, with just a hint of blue on his pale skin. He ran into the kitchen and dropped his towel, reaching for the two pieces of candy he found on the counter but his hand was grabbed. 

“Ow. Hey. That’s my candy.” 

Tony took the pills out of his hand, fear filling his system. “These are not candies, Peter. They’re adult pills.” Tony had to have a huge discussion with Alice. How did she not know by now you couldn’t leave that stuff just lying out? 

“Not candy? But candy shaped.” 

“No. These will harm you. What are you looking for? Are you hungry?” 

“I just wanted a cookie.” 

Tony gave him a cookie and took the pills back outside, showing them to Alice. “What are these?” 

“Oh. My pills. Thanks, Tony.” 

“No. Alice, you left them on the counter in reach of Peter.” Her eyes widened like she was just realizing what she did. “He picked them up and was about to eat them because he thought it was candy. You cannot leave your pills in reach of him. He puts everything in his mouth. Especially pills that look like candy.” 

“Mom.” Pepper put her face in her hands. This could’ve ended so badly, everyone realized that. “You know not to leave that out.” 

“I’m so sorry. But don’t talk down to me like I’m a child. I’m not used to living with children, okay, I forgot. He was napping and it was quiet and I put them there to take after lunch. I just forgot.” Upset, she stood up and walked over to Peter. “Sweet boy. I’m so sorry grandma left her pills out. But you cannot be putting everything in your mouth.”

Peter didn’t respond to her. He was too busy making his mud pie. 

Knowing she wasn’t going to get a response from him, she stood up and pointed a finger at Tony. “I understand now why you’re so reluctant to get rid of the pacifiers, it’s like a plug to stop these behaviours. Now, I’m not saying this to judge your parenting, but he needs to fix these issues. He puts everything in his mouth like a toddler. Sticks, rocks. Sand for goodness sake.” 

“You think it’s that easy, Alice. I’d love to see you try and spend a week parenting him. You’d have a heart attack.” 

“Tony.” Pepper sighed. She didn’t want a fight. 

“That would never be an option because you don’t let him leave your side. You baby him, Tony. And I know I know, we all baby him because of… everything that we’ve been through. But you baby him. He should be potty trained by now, he should not be needing pacifiers, but you allow that.” 

“I can’t control his bladder. And he is potty trained. With the occasional accident. You don’t think we’re trying to get him out of that bad habit? Because we are.” He couldn’t contain his anger. It was like someone stabbed him with a hot iron rod. Hearing these words was painful. 

“Tell me you feel confident taking him for a four hour car drive in underwear and no pacifiers? Look, I’m not meaning any harm. I’m sorry, Tony. I’m just worried. I’m worried about him. His dependency on these things isn't okay.” She turned back to look at the boy in question. Tony followed her gaze. Peter was playing with Morgan, a pacifier in his mouth once again. You rarely ever see him without it. 

It was made obviously clear to Tony that he had absolutely no idea how to take it away from him and he was scared. 

“Alright. I’ll admit I wouldn’t do that. But don’t say these things as if we aren’t trying. As if we’re just letting this slide. We are trying. You see he’s not an easy child. He’s a very difficult child and I know it wouldn’t be like that if it wasn’t for him getting fucking kidnapped and fucking drugged. You’re not his parent. He’s not your child. You can pretend all you want but until you have to consider burying an empty coffin for your baby because he’s presumed dead. And you can’t rest or breathe because you don’t truly know if he’s dead and better off or sold into child sex trafficking or his tiny dead body is buried in some shallow grave somewhere in the forest. This is what I thought about and had to come to terms with for seven years. So don’t stand there and judge me as his father. You don’t understand and I don’t expect you to.” 

“Tony-” 

“Don’t. Because you have no idea what it’s like. You don’t. And you never had to drive up to a house and watch him be carried out, his body limp like he was dead. I thought he was dead. And then he had a seizure and foamed from his mouth and almost died again.” Tony was working himself into a panic attack. He took a shaky breath. “I have grieved him longer than I’ve known him so fucking forgive me if I’m not jumping on the idea of dropping the pacifiers because compared to everything going on, that is so fucking far down on my list.” He shook his head. He needed to leave. He needed Peter. “Don’t leave your pills on the counter ever again.” 

He walked past them and over to Peter, picking him up and walking away with him with no explanation. 

He walked inside, grabbed the golf cart keys and left. 

“Where are we going?” 

“We’re going on a fun drive together.” He got into the golf cart with him and drove away. He needed to be alone but he couldn’t be alone without Peter. It would be more like a punishment timeout. 

They were in a beautiful area with beaches in almost every single direction you drove, crystal clear water with white sand beaches. Tony didn’t know where they were going but it didn’t really matter. 

“Let’s just pull over here for a sec,” He pulled onto the side of the dirt road, not really leaving any room for other cars to drive pass but he would move if a car came, it was pretty deserted after all. 

He needed to text Pepper. God knows he’d be freaking out if Pepper took his son and left with him. He owed her that courtesy. 

Tony: I shouldn’t have left so abruptly like that. We’re okay. Just need to clear my head for a bit. We’ll be back in about two hours 

Pepper's text came back instantly. 

Pepper: I understand. You just worried me

Tony: we’re fine. I’ll text you later 

He pocketed his phone and looked over at Peter. “What do you want to do?” 

“Get ice cream! Actually… a fruit smoothie. No! A milkshake! Yeah, I want a milkshake.” He tucked his feet underneath himself so he could lean forward in the golf cart and get a better view of the road. 

“Milkshakes, mm. We gotta go find a milkshake shack somewhere here then.” He continued driving down the dirt road through the jungle. Although they were in a different country, it felt very safe. Of course Tony wouldn’t send Peter out alone, but he also wouldn’t do that at home either. The most important thing was that he felt safe driving through the jungle with Peter, not having to worry about being robbed or held at gunpoint. 

Their whole community was gated off with patrols guarding the surrounding areas. 

Wrapping an arm around Peter, both to keep him sitting still but also just to have that physical touch with him. They talked about what kind of animals they wanted to see on their trip, Peter told a story about how he was talking to a bear in the backyard last night, strange but not surprising coming from him and his active imagination. 

Getting away from their crazy family was pretty relaxing although he took the crazy with him. It was no doubt Peter came into their life, lighting it up like a dark tunnel with no way out of the darkness. Peter could make anyone laugh and make them feel better about themselves. 

He seemed to have some magic in him. 

Tony spooned him a bite of his milkshake, using the last of their napkins to wipe his messy face off. If they didn’t leave in such a rush, Tony would’ve grabbed the diaper bag that contained wet wipes. 

Oh well. 

“Why are you so messy?” 

“Cause… I like to eat.” He said like it was obvious and went in for another spoonful of Tony’s milkshake. “I wish Morgan came with us. And Aiser. And mom and Harley and grandma and grandpa.” 

“So the whole family? Maybe we can bring them here tomorrow.” 

Peter thought about it but shook his head. “No. I just want this spot to be our spot cause if Morgan comes she’ll eat all the ice cream. And Aiser will get diarrhea.” 

Tony barked out laughing. That was so arbitrary. 

“Yeah, like that one time you fed poor Aiser a whole bowl of milk.” Tony got stuck cleaning up that mess that day before work. It was one thing cleaning your own kids butt, but your dogs, it was disgusting. Thankfully it was summer that day and Aiser got a nice spray down with the hose. 

“Cause he wanted it. He should be able to have milk if he wants it.” 

Tony didn’t know if Peter was talking about himself or their dog now. He thought about how far they came in just a few weeks, Peter was no longer dependent on the bottles but that caused him to be extra dependent on the pacifiers. So maybe they made a wrong decision there, either way, that wasn’t something Tony was too worried about right now. 

How could he be when there seemed to be so many other problems in their life right now. 

Tony didn’t know what Peter heard from his altercation with Alice or what he understood but he hoped that answer was nothing. 

Peter was smarter than he let on, he observed a lot more than Tony and Pepper noticed. 

This pacifier in his hand was holding him back though. 

“I just love you so much, you know that?” 

“Obviously. You tell me like a gazillion times a day.” He smiled at Tony in that special way he does that made Tony forget about everything else they went through. That smile made everything worth it, Steve, both kidnappings, the inevitable screaming tantrum that would happen in the near future, that perfect, goofy smile made everything worth it. Nothing else mattered when Peter was looking at him like that. 

“Still not enough.” 

“Then tell me a bazillion times tomorrow.” 

How did Tony get so incredibly lucky to be this perfect boy's father? He may never know but he was going to be grateful for every second. 

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.

.

Tony was expecting an apology from Alice but he knew that he also owed her one. Without Alice, he wouldn’t have Pepper and he wouldn’t have his three beautiful children and the life they created together. So yeah, his anger got the better of him and now that he had some time with Peter to calm down and think about it, he owed her an apology. 

He just finished putting Peter to bed, he went down pretty quickly and was passed out by the time he left the bedroom, shutting the door behind him. 

He peeked into Morgan’s room, she was sleeping with all the blankets on the floor. The contrast between her and Peter sleeping was comical. Peter slept like a tornado. Constantly moving, needing someone to hold him or be touching someone, even in his sleep or he would wake up. And Morgan, sweet sweet Morgan slept like an angel. She would be in the same position in the morning, maybe just facing the other way. 

Harley was hanging out by the pool when Tony walked downstairs and Pepper was sitting with Alice on the couches, just who he was looking for. 

He approached them, sitting down on the couch opposite them. “Kids are asleep.” 

“Did Pete go down easily?” 

Tony grabbed one of the croissants on the table. “Yeah. He was tired.” He sat back. He could admit when he was wrong, he knew how to do that, he usually was the first person to apologize between him and his wife but admitting you’re wrong is never easy. “Alice. Look, I owe you an apology. I’m sorry for lashing out. I… get very controlling and protective when it comes to him,” He looked down at his croissant to give his eyes somewhere to focus that wouldn’t be potential pity coming from anyone. 

“You know how hard it was for me, and still is. I’ll admit, I’m a hot mess and I should be speaking to my therapist more.” Then there was the whole thing about having no time in the day because the saying days are long but years are short, he didn’t agree with that. Days were too short, years went by way too fast. He knew he would blink and Peter was going to be off to college. “But I am trying my best as a parent to him but also Morg and Harley. I’m trying my best here. You left a pill out then turned the argument around on me and that was really unnecessary.” 

“I appreciate your apology, Tony. And you’re right, I am sorry too. I shouldn’t have left my pill out. I’m getting older and my memory,” Alice tapped her head, “isn’t what it used to be. I do understand that Peter would have eaten it and that scares me a lot. So I’m sorry for that. It will not happen again. I don’t want to take back what I said… but I do… wish I said it in different circumstances and with more appropriate language.” 

Tony nodded. She was right. Alice was 100% right in everything she said but admitting to that was still hard. 

“Yeah. Yeah… we’re working on it. I hope you see how difficult he is to parent. He makes it impossible to punish him. Not only does he look at me with those puppy dog eyes but then I’m reminded that he just doesn’t grasp the consequences of what he’s done.” For example, on their outing today, Peter tried to stick his whole arm in a moving conveyor belt as if that wouldn’t rip his whole arm off. He doesn’t see the risk in what he does. 

He hasn’t grasped that ability to outweigh any pros and cons. He has a thought and acts on it. 

Tony didn’t exactly know where that stemmed from. 

And most importantly, he didn’t exactly know how to approach the issue. 

“As I always say, I’m one phone call… and a plane ride away. I can come to Manhattan and help out. Even if I take on house chores so you can focus on Pete.” 

Tony looked at Pepper. He knew Alice wanted so badly to come and help out. But it couldn’t be a fun vacation for the kids, they had to stay on their routine. 

“We can discuss it. Obviously we want you to come and it would be a great help. I just don’t want it to mess up any routines we’ve created.” 

“I understand. Think about it, Tony.” 

Tony finally took a bite of his croissant. Wow. This felt good. That was a weight lifted off his shoulders. He took a breath, ready to take an hour or two to himself and just relax when he heard banging upstairs. Someone was running. Or two little sets of feet. 

Bye bye relaxation. 

“They’re awake.” 

“I can go.” Pepper was already standing up but Tony wanted to go see what they were getting up to. “We’ll probably need two of us to catch them anyways.” 

When they walked upstairs, Peter ran by first, followed by Aiser. So maybe Morgan was still sleeping and the second set of feet were Aisers? “Peter. Why are you awake? I just put you to sleep.” 

“Because… Morgan woke me up. Now I want to play.” 

Tony was going to call him a liar but Morgan turned the corner, holding two of her dolls in her arms who were wearing Peter’s diapers. Great. So she actually woke him up. That was nice, real protective. “Morgan. No. You cannot wake your brother up to play. It’s bedtime.” 

“Peter pooped.” 

“No I didn’t.” Now all eyes were on Peter. “I didn’t.” 

“Let me check.” 

“But I didn’t.” 

Tony turned him around, pulling his diaper back. He wasn’t lying. “He didn’t poo, Morgan. Don’t make stuff up. Do you want to come to sleep with Peter?” 

“Ummm… well, yeah but only if he doesn’t kick me. Will you kick me?” Morgan put her hands on her hips, getting in Peter’s face. 

“I can’t control what I do in my sleep.” 

“It’s sleep. Not steep.” Morgan tried to correct his pacifier talk like always but Peter was going to continue to pronounce his words that way as long as he had a pacifier in his mouth, no ways around that. 

“Morgan, he knows. Let’s go to bed then. To our room. But there will be no talking. Got it?” 

“What if I need to say Pete’s kicking me? Then can I talk?” 

Peter grinned. “Or-or-or what if I say Morgan is hogging the blankets all for herself because she always hogs all the blankets from me.” 

“Both of you stop talking. Get into bed.” 

Pepper returned with one water bottle for Morgan and a sippy cup for Peter, handing it to them once they were on the bed. Morgan took hers but eyed Peter’s. “Why did Petey get the cooler one? His has a cooler drinking straw. Not fair.” 

“Honey, you guys always use these. It’s no different from the ones you have during the day, or at home. It’s just there if you get thirsty at night.” Both parents looked at each other because was this really the best idea? They would find out soon enough. 

“Both of you lie down and close your eyes.” Tony couldn’t help but coo at how adorable they were. He wanted to save this moment in his mind forever. Their hair tangled together matched so perfectly it almost looked like they were twins lying down next to each other. 

Peter was just a few centimeters taller than Morgan and was smaller than her, so if they had to, they could probably pass off as twins, it was kinda cute. Tony snapped a video of them just lying there but the video ended abruptly when Morgan reached over and pulled the pacifier from Peter’s mouth. 

The video summed up their life perfectly. 

Everything was fine one second then the next, someone was crying. 

This time, like usual, it was Peter. 

Tony had to interfere before someone (Morgan) was bitten. He would love to let them work it out on their own but they weren’t at that stage yet. Tony climbed onto the bed and grabbed Peter’s mouth since he was already rolling onto his stomach to go in for the kill. “Hey. No biting. And Morgan, you know better than to take your brothers soother. Give it back to him.” 

She lifted her arm up to throw it but after giving her the dad look, she relented and pushed it past Peter’s lips. 

Now Tony really didn’t know if them sleeping together was a good idea or not. 

It couldn’t hurt. 

Well, it physically could but they only had a few more years, if that, of them wanting to sleep together so he would let it. 

“Both of you close your eyes and sleep. If you guys are silly, I will separate you.” 

“Who?” 

“Both of you. Now lie on your stomach.” He told Peter, Morgan could fall asleep on her own as long as she was tucked in. ⅔ of their kids could sleep by themselves. Almost 3 for 3. But not yet. 

Tony didn’t know how Steve got Peter to sleep when he was younger, god he hated that, but he did know that in the seven years of having Peter, he never once fell asleep without the help from someone. He always needed assistance to sleep. 

Tony wasn’t worried about co-sleeping just yet. 

He’d reevaluate in two years or so. 

The two of them kept laughing together so Tony placed a pillow between their heads so they couldn’t see one another. That made Peter bored so he turned his head to face Tony, his eyes blinking and looking around. Tony had to cover a hand over his eyes, feeling his long eyelashes blinking a few times in his palm before eventually closing. 

It didn’t take long to get him to sleep again. Tony knew he was tired, he could see it in his eyes and body movements. 

He sat up to peak over at Morgan, making eye contact with her. The thing was, she could fall asleep on her own. She was good at that. But if Tony left her awake, he risked her waking up Peter again. So, he switched sides and started to pat her back to get her to sleep but after ten minutes, she was still awake and flipped onto her back. 

“Do you want to go back to your own room?” 

“Nooo. I want to play with him. I’m not even tired.” 

“Morgan. I know. But he’s sleeping. He needs his sleep.” 

She looked over at her brother sadly. “Fine. Then I can put myself to sleep. I don’t need your help, dad.” 

Tony wasn’t so sure but he’d allow it. With a kiss to her head, he left, but not before pointing a finger at her. “If you stay, you actually sleep and no not wake up your brother. Got it?” 

“Yeah. Good night.” 

She waited for Tony to leave the bedroom then waited a few more minutes because she saw his shadow lingering underneath the door. She wasn’t tired and wanted to hang out with her best friend. They could make memories first and sleep later. 

So, Morgan sat up and shook Peter awake. She rolled him into his back, expecting him to wake up happy like last time but he woke up crying. 

“Shhh shh. Stop. It’s just me. Stop crying. Please. Shhh. They’ll hear you.” She tried to cover a hand over his mouth but was afraid she was going to suffocate him so she tossed the blankets over his head instead. 

So much for them hanging out. 

The door ripped open and Tony walked in, not looking happy. “Morgan. Why did you wake him up?” Not only that but he was buried underneath the blankets. This poor boy was just trying to sleep. 

Tony pulled him out of the blanket pile and lifted him into his arms, hushing him. “Morgan. I am not happy with you. Do you think waking him up was a smart idea?” 

She fiddled with the blanket on her lap, avoiding Tony’s eyes. “I didn’t do it…” 

“What’s going on?” Pepper walked in, followed by Alice. Peter’s cries sounded like someone was getting murdered. He was very vocal. 

“Morgan woke Peter up.” Tony grabbed the pacifier off the bed and tried to give it back to him but he wasn’t taking it. “It’s okay, Pete. I’ll put you back to bed. Just take a breath.” 

“I didn’t!” Now Morgan was crying, not as loud as Peter though. 

“Okay. Guys.” This was a mistake, letting the two sleep together. Why did the simplest decisions have to be so difficult sometimes? Tony cradled Peter in his arms, bouncing him a bit to help him calm down while Pepper comforted Morgan. “Morgan, you’re not in trouble. I just didn’t want you to wake Peter up for this reason. He weds his sleep and so do you.” 

“I don’ want him to!” She cried into her moms top. “I’m sorry!” 

“It’s okay, both of you, you’re okay.” They were used to the crying but when both cried at the same time, it was very overwhelming. Tony decided to remove Peter from the room, he took his pacifier and sippy cup then left. 

Thankfully they lived on the beach at the moment so that was helpful. 

He brought him down to the beach hammock and climbed in it with his boy, offering him the pacifier this time that he thankfully accepted. “Shh shh. You’re okay. You just need to close your eyes and go back to sleep, hmm, you’ll feel so much better when you wake up in the morning, baby boy. Just rest your eyes.” 

Tony felt bad for leaving Morgan when she was in distress as well but he needed to handle Peter first because the sad reality was Peter could not calm down by himself. If you put Morgan in a room alone crying, she would eventually self soothe herself in any way possible, probably just lying down and falling asleep. If you put Peter in a room, well, he’s been placed in a room to cry by himself many times before from what Tony knew. Steve punished him by withholding comfort, maybe that’s why he craved it so much now? Either way, Peter was incapable of self soothing by himself. He would cry until he was physically sick. 

So it was necessary that Tony helped him calm down first, right? 

Urg. Why was parenting so hard.