Always Be My Baby

Tony was keeping all his kids close. 

He had been so focused on keeping Peter safe, worried about all the potential bad things that could happen to him and not thinking about something bad happening to Morgan or Harley. 

Then Morgan’s appendix bursts and Peter falls out of a freaking window. 

Tony couldn’t breathe. 

There was too much threat in this world. 

It was like moving three steps ahead and then ten steps back. All the time. 

There didn’t seem to be any break and it was causing Tony’s hair to turn grey. 

He pulled Peter closer against his side, pressing a kiss to his cheek. “I love you, you know that?” 

“Yeah.” Peter spoke around the pacifier in his mouth. A few days ago during their photo shoot, Tony made a promise to Peter that he could have it all day the next day. And it’s been four days since that and it was still in his mouth. All day every day but neither parents could dare to take it from him. Not now. 

They needed to get over this family tragedy first. 

Morgan was asleep, resting in her bed and although Tony felt the need to put the baby monitor in her room, he knew that would be an invasion of her privacy so he left it. 

“Tony, let’s get him to bed. It’s almost midnight.” Pepper came over with a bottle of milk, handing it to Peter when he held his hand out for it and switched it for his pacifier. 

“Not yet. We’ll just lie here for one more show.” He tightened his hold on him. 

“Tony. He’s okay. Let’s get him to bed.” 

“Want to head up?” He asked Peter, kissing his temple again. 

“Mmm. Not tired.” 

Tony knew he was. “You are. Let’s go up.” 

“Are you going to sleep with me?” 

“Of course I am.” 

Tony stood up and Peter nuzzled into him, wrapping his arms around his neck and switching the bottle for the pacifier again. When they got upstairs, Tony gently placed Peter on the bed and kissed his forehead. “I’m going to get ready for bed. I’ll be right back.” 

“Hmmmm. Stay.” 

“Baby. I’ll be right back. I promise.” He kissed him again, and walked into the bathroom, shutting the door so he could change and pee. 

On the bed, Peter whined, hating how his dad left him. Logically he knew he was just in the bathroom but after the last few days, Peter just wanted to be close to his dad so he threw his bottle off the bed and then his pacifier. 

After realizing what he did, he immediately felt bad. His bottle and paci were always there for him and gave him so much comfort and he just threw them as if they were nothing. 

He bursted out crying, crawling to the end of the bed when his dad walked out. 

“What happened?” 

Without saying anything, Peter sat on his knees and pointed to his comfort items on the floor. 

“How did these get down here?” Tony asked, already knowing the answer. He picked them up, feeling too exhausted to deal with this right now but knowing Peter needed him. 

“I-I-I throw ‘dem!” 

“You threw them?” 

“Yeah!” Peter sobbed. 

“And then you regretted that?” 

“Yeah!” 

“Okay.” Tony didn’t comment on that. He pushed the pacifier past Peter’s lips. “It’s all better now. See? I grabbed it for you. How about we lie down and sleep now?” 

Peter spit it out, crying harder. “No! He-he hates m-me!” 

“Peter. Who? Your paci?” 

“Yes!” 

Oh no. 

“Peter. It’s not a he. It’s a piece of silicone plastic. It’s an inanimate object.” Tony sat down and grabbed the pacifier, squeezing it. “Do you think it felt this?” 

“Yes! Don’t!” 

Tony pinched Peter’s arm. Not hard but enough so he would feel it. 

“Owwwwwww! Noo!” 

“See? You felt that because you’re real and alive. This, this is just an object made in a factory. I’ll throw it out and get you a new one because it doesn’t matter.” 

Peter either didn’t care or was too tired to really care. He grabbed it from Tony and put it in his mouth, sucking on it while still upset about… whatever he was upset about. 

“Let’s get some sleep. Okay?” Tony was exhausted but was having a hard time sleeping these past few nights. He laid down with Peter, turning on the sound machine and patting Peter’s belly, trying to get him to sleep. “Do you want milk?” 

“Mm.” 

Tony took that as a no. 

So he continued to pat Peter’s belly, watching as Peter eventually fell asleep. Then an hour passed by. And another hour. And Tony was still awake. Staring at Peter. 

The bedroom door opened quietly. “Oh. I didn’t expect you to still be up. Was he hard to get down?” Pepper whispered, shutting the door and taking off her shirt to get a pyjama shirt on. 

“No. Actually. He went down pretty quickly.” 

“Oh? Why aren’t you sleeping?” 

“I can’t. I guess. I don’t know. I’m just…” Tony sighed and sat up, placing a hard on Peter’s lower back. “I’m having really bad anxiety.” 

“About Peter?” Pepper asked, coming to sit on the bed with them. 

“Yeah… no. I mean, it’s always about him. But I just feel… buried. I feel like no matter what I do, no matter how hard I try, everything seems to be for nothing because then Morgan’s appendix bursts. And Peter falls out of a fucking window. I mean… how? Because he doesn’t have it in his brain to think about the consequences of these things. And when will he develop that? He should have already.” 

Pepper sighed, listening to her husband. “I don’t know, Tony. It’s hard to say right now. We know he’s behind on development mentality and physically. But he won’t be like this forever. Even if you want that most days. And what you do isn’t for nothing. You’re their father. You’re always there for them. Especially Peter. He needs you and you love him. That’s all he needs right now.” 

As Tony looked down at the pacifier in Peter’s mouth, he found that hard to believe. “I feel like I’m failing him. I mean, he has a pacifier. He’s fourteen. And I don’t know how to drop it.” 

“You’re not alone in this. I’m here. We can talk about how we want to go about this. Then pick a day to start. Should we do bottles or pacifiers first?” 

“I don’t… I don’t know.” Tony was scared Peter would hate him for it. “I can’t talk about this right now.” 

He rolled over on the bed, facing away from Peter and trying to close his eyes and shut his mind off. 

.

.

.

Peter woke up before his parents did. 

He rolled onto his back and looked at his dad, reaching out to touch his face but he stopped himself, knowing his dad already didn’t get a lot of sleep and Peter wanted him to sleep in today. 

He removed his dad’s arm from off his stomach and reached for his bottle on the bed, switching his pacifier for the milk. It was warm but still good. 

As Peter lay there, tucked safely away from the world between both his parents, he felt the safest he’s ever been. 

He yawned, stretching out a bit then continuing to drink his milk for the next ten minutes before Harley walked into the room, peeking over onto the bed. 

“Hey.” He whispered, seeing that both his parents were still asleep. 

Peter waved. 

“How long have you been up?” He asked, walking around their dad’s side and picking up his phone. 

“Five.” 

“Since five?” 

Peter nodded, not really paying attention to the conversation. 

“Want to go downstairs and eat breakfast? We should let mom and dad sleep.” 

Sitting up, Peter crawled to the end of the bed and held his arms up for Harley to carry him down, which his brother thankfully did without telling him to walk. 

The best part about being the baby of the family, even if he wasn’t actually the youngest. 

Wrapping his arms around his older brother's neck, he watched the stairs move underneath them then lifted his head up immediately once he heard Morgan’s voice. 

“Petey? You slept in so late with mom and dad.” 

Once he was placed on his feet, he stood there for a few moments, debating if he wanted to go into the kitchen or hang out with Morgan. 

“Come sit with me. I’m just playing on my iPad. Get yours.” 

“I dunno where it is.” 

“It’s charging on the kitchen table. Go get it.” 

Peter walked into the kitchen, getting distracted by the container of milk on the table so he walked over, handing Harley his bottle. “More.” 

“I should ask dad if you can when he wakes up.” 

“I do everyday all day. Fill it to this line.” He explained, pointing at the blue line on the bottle. 

Harley opened the lid, pouring the milk in and letting Peter snatch it off the counter. “Does dad usually change your diaper after you wake up or later?” 

“Later.” He lied, grabbing his iPad off the counter and walking back over to Morgan who was sitting up on her knees, leaning over the side of the couch. 

“No. Dad always does when he wakes up and Peter sits on the toilet, Harley. He’s lying to you.” 

“Am not!” He climbed next to Morgan, getting comfortable so he could open up Hay Day but Morgan was taking his iPad from him. “Mmmm! Don’t. Harley! Tell her to stop!” 

“Listen, I’m not mom or dad so both of you stop. It’s literally like not even 9am yet and I’m still waking up.” Harley walked over to tell them off, holding a pancake flipper in his hand. 

“Are you gonna whip us?” Asked Peter, eying the flipper. 

It was a weird question. Harley was taken back by it for a few moments. “What’s so weird, Peter. No.” 

“Harley, Petey needs to sit on the toilet. Dad always puts him there in the morning.” Morgan told the one who was in charge, crossing her arms over her chest for good measure. 

Peter looked at Harley, grabbing the blanket to hide underneath it. “No! I do not!” 

“It’s fine, Morgan. Dad can do that when he wakes up.” 

“Are you going to change his diaper then?” 

“No. I don’t know how to do that.” He walked back into the kitchen before he thought about it and felt bad for not doing that for his younger brother. After making a stack of pancakes and carrying the plate into the living room, he looked at Peter and sighed. 

“Peter, I’ll change you but don’t make this difficult or I’m not doing it.” 

“I don’t ever. Mmm pancake!” Reaching over, Peter snatched one off the plate, taking a bite and grabbing his pacifier. “Did you cook them?” 

“No, I woke up this morning and they were magically here.” Harley sarcastically told him but Peter didn’t always catch onto sarcasm. 

“Oh. Did dad?” 

 “How would he, if he’s sleeping?” 

Peter shrugged. “I dunno.” 

Thinking about how he was going to do this, or if he even wanted to, Harley laid one of the blankets on the floor, sitting down uncomfortably in front of it. “I’ll change you only if you don’t act all crazy. I’ll literally stop and walk away because I’m not doing that.” 

“I don’t act crazy.” 

“I’ve seen it. Just hurry up and lie down.” 

Peter laid down on the blanket, reaching down to grab the package of wipes. “I’ll pull them out for you.” 

“No. I can.” Taking it from Peter, Morgan opened it up and pulled one out but Peter wasn’t going to allow that. 

“Nooo! Tell her to give it back, Harley!” 

“Morgan. Just give it back to him.” 

“Why?” 

“Because,” Harley sighed. “he will cry. You won’t. Just give it back.” 

Groaning, Morgan tossed it at Peter and he immediately stopped the whining and smiled then pulled out a bunch of wipes. 

“Okay. Here we go.” Harley undid the straps on the diaper and was about to pull the front down but stopped. “Wait. You didn’t poo, right?” 

“Mmhm.” He responded, shaking his head. 

“If I find out you’re lying, I’ll kick you outside.” Pulling down the front and tossing the wet diaper to the side, Harley did his best to wipe Peter’s skin, quickly doing it so he could get it over with faster then grabbing a new diaper, getting it on him messily. “Wow. That’s over with.” 

Leaving the used diaper on the floor, Harley got up to go wash his hands while Peter grabbed his iPad, not moving from his comfortable spot on the floor. 

“Morgan, play Hay Day with me.” Rolling onto his stomach, Peter got more comfortable on the carpet, looking behind him to see if Morgan was going to grab her iPad. “Morgan.” 

“You need to sit on the toilet. Dad always says you do.” 

“No. I don’t. You’re making stuff up.” Grabbing her iPad, he turned it on and handed it to her. “Play Hay Day.” 

With some hesitation, thinking about their dad being disappointed in Peter, she decided it wasn’t her problem so Morgan got comfortable on their mini chair, mindful of her stitches in her stomach and opened up the game, going to visit Peter’s farm. 

Meanwhile, upstairs Tony was waking up. 

Like usual, if he wasn’t facing Peter, he would roll over so he was facing him and usually, on the rare occasions he woke up first, he would watch Peter and gently reach out to caress his face but when he rolled over, Peter wasn’t there. 

That never happened. 

So of course, Tony started panicking. 

“Peter?” Thinking he was tangled in the blankets, Tony pulled them off the bed, waking up Pepper in the process. “Peter?” 

“Tony?” 

“I can’t find Peter.” 

“Well… he’s probably playing somewhere.” Since Pepper didn’t have the anxiety and codependency like Tony did, she didn’t freak out like Tony did every time their son wasn’t in her sight. 

Tony jumped out of the bed to look in the bathroom and then the closet but nothing. With a heart that was beating faster with every second passing by and shaking hands, Tony rushed downstairs but as soon as he turned the corner, he heard Peter’s giggle and it was like all the life was returning back to his body. 

He took a calming breath so he didn’t walk in looking like a hot mess and walked over to Peter. “Good morning. Did you come down here by yourself?” 

“Daddy! Hi.” 

“Hi, baby. Good morning, Morgan. What are you guys up to?” Tony asked, sitting on a fluffy pillow on the floor and patting Peter’s padded butt. “Who changed you?” 

“Harley did. I tried to tell him he had to sit on the potty first, dad.” Morgan supplied, looking upset over it. 

That surprised Tony. “Harley, you changed his diaper? Without me having to even ask. Wow.” Not that Tony would ever ask Harley to do that, it was his responsibility as a father. 

“Yeah. It wasn’t so bad.” Harley walked over with more pancakes. “I even made breakfast.” 

Tony thanked him, taking one off the plate. He was a bit skeptical as to why his oldest was doing all this so Tony assumed he wanted something but he didn’t ask, not wanting to be rude if Harley was genuinely trying to help out. 

“Daddy. Look at my farm. I bought two more pigs. Now I have four! I’m saving up to buy one more.” He crawled onto his dad’s lap, shoving the iPad in Tony’s face. 

“Those are some cute pigs. Do they have names?” 

“Ummm… no. Just the cats and dogs and my bunny and-and I’m even-and I’m trying to buy another bunny too! Look.” 

For the next hour or so, Tony hung out with Peter and Morgan, looking at both of their farms and stopping to watch the cartoon playing on the tv every once and awhile. 

When Pepper made her way downstairs, ready for the day, Tony realized what time it was and how late it was. 

“Good morning, babies.” She went to press kisses on all of their heads. “Is it a lazy day today? Everyone is still in pyjamas.” 

“My pants are upstairs, mom.” 

“I know. I put them in the wash. Laundry day. And we have to go grocery shopping later too.” 

“Me?” Peter asked, sitting up and sliding off his dad’s lap. 

“If you want to come along.” Pepper tapped him on the nose and left to go make a smoothie. “Tony, did he sit on the toilet yet?” 

Both Tony and Peter looked at each other. “Not yet.” He felt the front of Peter’s diaper, feeling that it was quite full so he got off the couch. “Let’s go now. Then we can come back to sit on the couch all day.” 

Peter didn’t move. 

“You can bring your iPad.” 

Reluctantly, Peter followed his dad into the bathroom, a pout on his face. “I hate sitting on the potty. It’s so boring.” 

“I know. But you have to.” He was tired of it too. Tony pulled off the diaper, throwing it in the diaper genie and putting the toilet seat cover on. “Hop on. Just try. The faster you go, the faster you can get off and play.” 

“Stupid pee pee.” 

“Do you want me to stay or-” 

“Noooo! Don’t go!” 

“Alright alright.” 

Peter tried to concentrate, wanting to get this over with as quickly as possible. “My bladder is empty.” He said after about ten minutes of trying. 

“Okay. If you get off, I want you to stay dry, okay? And if you think you need to go, you need to try your hardest to go pee in the potty. Okay?” 

“Okay. I get off now?” 

“Yeah. But come upstairs with me for a second.” 

“Why?” 

“Because. I want to tell you something.” 

Curious, Peter followed his dad up but they went into his bedroom instead so Peter knew he was going to be put in underwear. “Nooo. I want to wear a diaper.” 

“No diapers until bedtime or if we leave the house.” 

Peter stood in front of his dresser so his dad couldn’t open it up. “Then I wanna leave the house now.” He whined, watching his dad grab wipes off the floor. 

“We will after we do some laundry. Come sit with me. I want to tell you something.” 

Peter groaned but sat down anyways. 

“Lie down first actually, I’m going to quickly wipe you.” He pushed Peter down gently then pushed his legs to his chest, wiping him clean and noticing he needed a bit of rash cream but that could wait. “So,” Tony started, pulling Peter back into a sitting position. “I wanted to tell you first. I’m going to go talk to a therapist, just like you.” 

He let Peter process that for a bit. “A… therapist? Like… Karen?” 

“Yeah. Kind of. Karen is only for children like you. Since adults' brains work differently. So I will speak to a therapist for adults.” 

He could see the wheels turning in Peter’s mind. “Oh. An adult therapist? Why?” 

Now the tricky part. Tony had to explain to Peter that he needed help without letting Peter know how terrified he actually was everyday over losing him. 

“Well, because-” 

“Because of me? Cause-cause I went away?” 

“Yeah, buddy.” He had to be honest. “Sometimes having some extra help is good. Someone to talk to.” 

Peter climbed onto his lap. “You can talk to me, daddy.” 

“Thank you, baby. I know I can. You’re the sweetest. And daddy will, but I will also talk to my therapist.” 

“Oh. When?” 

“Some time next week I’ll go.” 

“Oh. What’s their name?” 

“Beth.” 

“Oh.” Peter thought it over. “And I come?” 

“No, baby. You’ll stay with mom. I’ll just be gone for an hour or so.” 

“Oh. Then you’ll come back.” 

“Yeah. Always.” He watched Peter carefully. He knew Peter wouldn’t care if he went but Tony wanted to tell him first before he told everyone else. Of course Pepper already knew. “So we’ll both have a therapist.” 

“Yeah. Then they can be friends!” 

“Well, I don’t know about that, baby boy.” He kissed his face. “How about we pick out the coolest underwear for you to wear today?” 

“No underwear. It’s uncomfy, dad.” 

“Let’s just try.” Gently pushing Peter off his lap, Tony moved to sit in front of the dresser, digging through the barely worn underwear. “What colour do you feel like wearing today?” He knew giving Peter these choices helped so he felt like he was in some control. 

“Ummm… ummm… um I think… red! No. Green!” He dug around, pulling out a green pair with a dinosaur in the front. “These?” 

“Those look so cool.” 

“But… I can wear it over my diaper.” 

“But then you would still be peeing in your diaper, buddy.” 

“But… then I can wear my diaper over it.” 

“But, Pete, then when you pee, the diaper will still catch it so I wouldn’t know.” 

Peter looked defeated. “Don’t worry. Soon, you’ll be holding in your pee and going on the potty like before. You’re just having some trouble right now, baby.” Taking the underwear from him, Tony held it out, helping Peter get it on. “Is your bum sore?” 

“No.” 

“Okay. Tell me if it is and I’ll put cream on you. Ready to go downstairs?” 

“Uh huh. And-and when it’s leaving the house time, I can wear a diaper?” 

Tony felt defeated. Like always. “Yeah.” 

“Okay.” Skipping downstairs, Peter ran to his mom in the kitchen, leaning over the counter. “What are you doing, mom?” 

“I’m making a grocery list. What are you doing?” 

“I’m wearing green underwear.” 

“Wow. Good job, baby! That’s so amazing. Are you going to keep them dry all day?” 

“No.” 

Oh. “Can you try?” 

“Uh… maybe. What are you writing on it?” Peter climbed up onto the counter, sitting in front of his mom. “Can I see?” 

“Can you read it out to me?” 

“Sure! Um… eggs, bread, bagels… cheese strings! Chicken, chicken nuggets! Yay! I like chicken nuggets.” 

“I know you do.” 

“I put another load of laundry in and put the rest in the dryer. Is there anymore?” Asked Tony, walking up to the counter and wrapping his arms around Peter. “Are you helping mommy?” 

“Uh huh.” 

“It’s everything in the laundry room. But there’s always more.” She laughed but Tony was more focused on Peter. “Do we need more diapers, Tony?” 

“What?” 

“Do we need more diapers?” 

“Yeah. We’ll get two boxes. We also need more diaper rash cream and wipes.” 

“Okay. What about pull-ups?” 

Tony kissed Peter’s cheek. “Uh… yeah. We can get one box. We still have a box but we’ll definitely need more eventually.” He lifted Peter off the counter and set him on his hip. “Want to help me pick out a hot tub online?” 

“Yeah!” 

“Are you doing that today?” Pepper asked. 

“Yeah. Why not?” Carrying Peter into the living room, he sat down with him on the couch and grabbed his computer. “Remember, if you need to pee, let me know immediately.” 

“Okay.” Peter had no intention of telling him. 

“That one is big!” Peter pointed to one, sliding off his dad’s lap to lean against his side instead. “And this one has a waterfall!” 

“What are you guys looking at?” Morgan walked over, sitting on Tony’s other side. “Hot tubs? Why?” 

“Cause it’s cold and it’s like a warm bath you can’t pee in.” 

Tony chuckled. Of course Peter would describe it that way. Oh god, how he loved him. 

Looking over, Morgan pointed at the same one Peter previously had. “This one has a waterfall, dad.” 

“It does. What do you say, are we getting this one?” 

“Yeah! Will it come in today?” 

“Maybe not today, buddy. But soon. Plus we’re already so busy today.” 

Peter slid off the couch, bored of sitting now. “Morgan, want to play with me? Let’s pretend the we’re stranded on an island and we have to get off.” 

While they were busy playing, Tony decided to get some work done on his computer, having to pause every once and a while to look at what they were doing when they called to him. 

He checked his appointment with his therapist and was a bit nervous but it had to be done. It was for the best. 

Pepper slammed the laundry basket on the table, pulling him out of his thoughts. “Hey, you two, play nicely. I don’t want to see anyone hitting the other.” 

Tony didn’t even realize Peter was about to bite Morgan, he was so deep in thought. 

But since he was brought back to reality, when he saw Peter standing up and spread his legs slightly, looking down, Tony already knew what was happening. 

“Oh Uh. I’m peeing.” 

Everyone turned to watch it happen but Tony felt bad. Bad because he knew Peter wasn’t ready for underwear yet and because he didn’t know if Peter would ever be ready. 

Once Peter stopped, Tony stood up. “Okay. It’s okay, stand there while I get paper towels.” 

“I peed.” 

“You did. Did you forget to tell me?” Tony asked once he returned with paper towels and laid them on the puddle on the floor. 

Peter watched his dad clean it up. “Uh… yeah. I forgot. It just came out.” 

Getting the pee covered up, Tony picked Peter up, holding him out so he didn’t get pee on himself on the way to the bathroom. 

“I need to wear a diaper, dad.” 

Yeah, you do. “No you don’t. Accidents happen. We’ll get you cleaned up then back in clean underwear.” He pulled off the sticky, wet fabric and tossed it in the sink for now then grabbed the wipes. “Open your legs.” 

“I want to lie down. Not stand.” 

“Okay… come then.” Picking Peter back up, Tony carried him back into the living room and set him on the blanket he found him on this morning. “Hold your legs up then.” 

“Tony, put him in underwear again.” 

“I know. I am.” 

“Dad. Dad?” 

“Yeah, Pete?” 

“My paci?” 

“One second, buddy.” 

Whining, Peter rolled away, crawling to get his pacifier on the floor. 

“Peter. I’m not done. You need to come here and lie down.” 

“No! You’re bad!” Peter crawled to the other side of the couch, climbing on it and hiding under a pillow. 

“Peter. I can still see you. Let me finish so you don’t get a rash.” 

“No! Leave me alone!” 

Sighing, Tony looked at Pepper then grabbed the wipes and got up to go sit beside Peter, rubbing his back. “I know this is frustrating. I know. But we have to try, okay? Can I wipe you and put cream on your red bum?” 

“No! Go away!” 

“How about I put a diaper on you? Will that make you feel better?” 

That worked. Tony knew he shouldn’t give in. But he did. Every time. Because it worked. 

Peter removed the pillow to look at his dad and nod. “Okay. Then move the pillow, I’ll finish wiping you clean then I’ll go get a diaper.” 

“Okay.” Peter sniffled, wiping the tears off his cheeks and waiting. “I want to wear winnie the Pooh one. Not lion king.” 

“Okay, Pete.” Tony avoided Pepper's eyes, knowing she wouldn’t appreciate him giving in so easily. He grabbed the supplies and walked back over to the couch, pulling Peter’s legs down to be lying down more. 

“You mad, dad?” 

“No, Pete. But you need to be trying to stay in underwear, buddy. No more diapers during the day.” He told him even as he secured one onto him, knowing he was giving into Peter’s cries in the wrong way. 

Watching Tony closely for a few moments, Peter lifted his arms above his head, sighing. “But not now. Next year, when I’m older.” 

The thought of Peter being a whole year older gave Tony anxiety because he was torn between being stressed that Peter was going to be facing the same problems a year from now as he faces presently, and on the other hand, Tony didn’t want to let go of his young baby and have him grow up. 

Tony wanted to freeze time and keep Peter this young and innocent forever. Or just a little bit longer. 

As soon as the diaper was on, Peter rolled off the couch to grab his iPad and move to sit down on the other couch, getting comfortable. 

“What?” Peter asked, spotting his dad staring at him. 

“Nothing… I just really love you.” 

A small smile formed on Peter’s lips. “Okay… but you’re staring at me weirdly, dad.” 

“Right.” Standing up, Tony leaned over Peter and kissed his head. “Don’t get too comfortable, we’re going grocery shopping soon.” He took the diaper supplies into the kitchen, setting them on the counter for now. 

“Tony.” Pepper paused her cleaning to give him her full attention and Tony sighed since he knew what this was going to be about. “We need to have a serious discussion about this.” 

He sighed again. “I know. I know, Pep.” 

“You’re confusing him. Underwear, then diapers, then underwear again, oh, then a pull-up. He doesn’t know if he should be holding it or go.” 

Tony knew that. He did. But he didn’t know anything about potty training a toddler, never mind a difficult fourteen year old that had years of past trauma and talked back and had one hell of a set of lungs. 

“I still feel like he isn’t ready. He obviously doesn’t want to wear underwear again just yet. There’s no rush.” 

Pepper didn’t agree with that. “He needs to go back to school. His leave of absence can only last so long before he’ll be asked to repeat grade nine next year.” 

Tony considered homeschooling but he knew Peter needed to interact with other children his age. “I’m not going to force him to sit on the toilet to pee if he doesn’t want to. I’d be traumatizing the poor boy. And making him scared of a toilet is the absolute last thing we need.” 

Pepper really considered Tony’s words, thinking them over. “We could always get him a portable potty and place it in front of the tv.” 

Tony didn’t know. 

“Or I can potty train him myself.” 

“Are you saying I can’t do it?” 

“No.” Pepper backtracked. “I’m saying that… Peter acts differently with you than me. He knows you’ll give in and so… he acts like a baby sometimes with you.” 

Tony didn’t mind it. “So? If he wants to. If that makes him feel safe then I don’t care.” 

“I know. I’m not saying it’s a bad thing. I’m just saying that he needs to start wearing underwear and go a day with no accidents.” 

Tony looked over at Peter, seeing the pacifier returned to his mouth. Tony didn’t even know where he got them from, every time it was a different one. 

“I know. You don’t think I want that for him too? I’m trying.” He was beyond frustrated but at least he wasn’t tired since Peter actually let them sleep in. “I think we should wait… a week or two. Then start.” 

“Tony,” Pepper sighed, which made Tony feel worthless. “he needs to learn how to retrain his bladder now.” She placed a hand on Tony’s arm, sensing his anxiety. “Look, my friend who recently had a baby has a lactation consultant, Maddie, and she always helps families with things like breastfeeding weaning, bottle weaning, and potty training. She’s amazing. I can hire her to help us with Peter. She’s helped thousands of families.” 

“What? No. I’m not having some random woman come into our home and potty train my son when we’re perfectly capable.” 

“Well, I don’t know what else to do, Tony. Peter refuses to learn.” 

“Just… let’s just try again next week. Let’s just… take a break.” He left the kitchen and went to join Peter on the couch, leaning against him. “Whatcha playing?” 

Peter pointed at his screen, not wanting to stop sucking on his pacifier to talk. 

Tony was used to it so he didn’t mention it, deciding instead to lay there beside his baby and try not to worry about his previous conversation with Pepper. 

A pair of track pants and a shirt was being tossed onto Tony’s lap twenty minutes later though. “Time to go grocery shopping. Morgan and I will meet you guys in the van.” 

Tony watched Pepper walk away, annoyed that she was acting that way but didn’t mention it. 

“Do I have to try to pee before we go?” 

Usually the answer would be yes but he was already wearing protection. “Not this time. Get your pants on, I’m going to pack some things to take with us.” 

Standing up, Peter got his track pants on but continued to wear his pyjama shirt. “Dad? I did it. But mom bought me a top but I already have one.” 

“You can change it if you want.” 

“I don’t want to.” 

“Okay. Then let’s go.” Tony opened up the van door and waited for Peter to climb in but he was too busy looking for worms on the driveway since it was raining all night and morning. “Pete, let’s go, buddy.” 

“Hurry up, Petey!” 

“Daddy, there’s five worms.” Explained Peter happily, climbing into his car seat and letting his dad buckle him in. “Can we build a house for them? A worm farm.” 

“Absolutely not.” Said Pepper, turning around. “And once we get to the store, you have to take your paci out, baby.” 

Covering a hand over his mouth, Peter shook his head. “Noo! Never, mom.” 

Tony shut the van door, cursing to himself since no one could hear him. This was always the struggle they had to deal with and Tony was so tempted to just let Peter have his way in the store but he remembered the looks they got from some people when Peter had his pacifier at three years old. He didn’t even want to imagine it now. 

When he got into the van, he turned the mirror around so he could see in the back, looking at Peter. “Is everyone buckled in?” 

“Morgan isn’t.” 

“Yes I am! See?” 

“No. Not properly.” 

Tony and Pepper shared a look before Tony backed out of the driveway and started driving down the road, heading to Walmart as they listened to Peter and Morgan argue over who was wearing their seatbelt the safest which eventually led them to talking about the ocean, somehow. 

“Dad, I see Walmart. You passed it, dad.” Pointing out the window, Peter watched them drive past the parking lot. “Oh no.” 

“You can’t get in that way, Pete. See, it says no entry.” Questions like these made Tony afraid of the day Peter got behind the wheel. When he let him drive a golf cart in Bali, Peter was possibly the worst driver that Tony had ever seen, considering he was only fourteen, Tony didn’t really blame him. But he was still dreading the day Peter asked to drive and he was old enough that Tony couldn’t say no. 

“But why?” 

“Because we’re not in England. We don’t drive on that side of the road.” Finally arriving in the parking lot, Tony shut the van off and got out to get Peter out, preparing for the fight with the pacifier. “Now we’re here. See, we didn’t pass it. Before I unbuckle you, can I have your soother?” 

“Mmm.” Shaking his head, Peter turned away from his father, unwilling to give up his comfort item. 

“Peter, if you don’t give it to me, you can’t go inside the store.” 

Peter still refused. “No. It’s mine.” 

“I know it’s yours.” Looking at Pepper for help, or at least knowing he wasn’t alone with this, he sighed. “Pete, I’ll give it to you in the car after we go grocery shopping. Okay?” 

“But… I want it now. Not later.” 

“Well, then we have to stay in the cold car while mom and Morgan go shopping.” 

“Hurry up, Petey. It’s cold out here and I’m wearing my pink jacket. Not my warm one.” Morgan climbed in next to her dad and pulled the pacifier from Peter’s mouth, causing him to scream then start crying. 

Tony knew that technique didn’t work. “Morgan, you can’t take that away from your brother if he didn’t give you permission to.” Tony had to put the silicone rubber back into Peter’s mouth, waiting impatiently for him to be ready to give it up. Which seemed like never. 

“Can I have it now?” 

“Five more minutes.” 

“No, Peter. I’m going to go get a shopping cart then when I come back, you will give it to me.” 

Kicking his legs, Peter watched Tony walk away and looked down at Morgan, trying to get enough comfort from his paci while he could. When Tony finally returned and held his hand out for it, Peter reluctantly gave it up but needed more comfort now. 

“Carry me.” 

“Okay,” Taking Peter out of the van, Tony swung him onto his hip. “But only through the parking lot and then you have to walk.” 

“My legs are too tired to walk.” Peter whined, leaning his head on Tony’s shoulder and putting his thumb in his mouth. “Can I sit in the buggy?” 

Looking for the shopping cart with the race car attached to it and not finding it, Tony grabbed a normal one, despite Peter’s request. “They’re all taken, but you can pick out what you want easier this way.” 

“No. Cause I don’t want anything.” Peter told him as he wiggled to be put down and walked over to the shopping cart to try and climb into the seat. “Mom.” 

“Peter, you won’t fit and you’ll get stuck. Can you just walk beside it?” Pepper enjoyed grocery shopping since it was like a mini vacation away from the craziness of their house but now they brought the craziness with them. 

Tony walked over to take Peter from her, taking his hand instead. He was sure he could fit Peter in the seat but it would be extremely uncomfortable and probably hard to get him out. “Morgan, come back this way. We’re going to the fruits first.” 

“But the cookies are in that aisle.” 

Peter agreed and walked towards her. “Yeah. We want cookies. Not fruit.” 

This was going to be a long shopping trip. “Peter. Stay here. I don’t want to have to tell you again.” 

Now that Peter knew his dad didn’t want him doing that, he turned around to give a mischievous grin directly at his dad and slowly started backing up, heading towards the other aisles. 

“Look at him.” Tony said to Pepper. “He knows what he’s doing.” 

“Then stop him. This isn’t a game.” 

Tony walked towards Peter, being mindful of everyone around them. He grabbed his arm and leaned down so he was at his height. “I am giving you one warning, if you don’t stay by the shopping cart where I can see you, you and I will go wait in the car. Do you understand me, Peter?” 

“I don’t want to stay in the poopy car!” 

“Then listen to me. You get no more warnings.” He let go of his arm and looked down at him, trying to see what Peter was going to decide. 

Without saying anything, Peter walked past him and walked towards the shopping cart, turning around to give Tony a dirty look. Tony couldn’t help but chuckle. How could someone so small have so much attitude? 

The four of them continued their grocery shopping, walking down each aisle and filling the cart up. Tony could tell that Peter was getting restless and bored and Morgan was copying him but they weren’t even halfway down yet. 

“I want to put them in.” Peter said, crossing his arms over his chest when Morgan put the wipes inside the shopping cart first. 

“I win.” 

“No.” Immediately turning to Tony, Peter began crying. “Daddy! I-I wanted to!” 

“We need more than just one package, can you put another one in?” 

“Tony, we need the box of wipes.” Pepper pointed out, grabbing the box off the shelf. 

“I know. Just let him.” It was just easier to let Peter get his way sometimes. 

“Peter, do you want to pick out a new design for your diapers?” Asked Pepper, calling Peter over but Tony already knew what ones he was going to pick. 

Peter looked at the options, looking for the Lion King. The red box. He pointed at it. “These!” 

“Mom, can I get some for my dolls too?” 

“No, honey. You can reuse the ones you have at home.” 

“That’s not fair! Peter gets to get some.” 

Tony walked over to Morgan, kneeling down in front of her. “Morgan, you have some at home for your dolls. They only pretend pee so you can reuse the diapers. You need to save the diapers for the babies who actually need them.” 

Morgan looked at Peter, annoyed. “But he gets some. That isn’t fair!” 

“Because Peter needs them. He actually uses them. Your dolls don’t. How about you take some of Peter’s diapers when we get home to use for your dolls? Okay?” 

“But I want the Winnie the Pooh ones. Not Lion King.” 

“It’s Peter’s choice. You can try asking him if he wants to use the other ones. And if not, he has Whinnie the Pooh diapers at home too.” 

Morgan took the box off the shelf and carried it clumsily over to her brother. “Petey, do you want to wear these diapers too?” 

“Um… yeah.” 

“Two boxes of diapers? We’re trying to get him back in underwear.” Pepper quietly told Tony so Peter wouldn’t hear her. 

He thought about that as he put in a box of pull-ups to add to it. “He’ll still wear them at night until the bedwetting stops. We’ll be buying more anyways. It’s fine.” He recognized the look Pepper gave him that told him she knew he was struggling with letting Peter grow up. 

Peter looked at Tony and walked over to the pacifiers, pointing at them. “I want one.” 

“You have one at home.” 

“No. In your pocket.” 

Wow. Peter was really keeping track of where they all were. 

“Yeah, and I told you I would give it back to you when we go home.” 

“No. You said back to the car.” 

That was right. Tony ruffled his kids curly hair. “True. But we’re not in the car yet.” 

“But we’re done grocery shopping. There’s no more to buy.” At this point Peter was tired and wanting to go home to fully relax. He took a hold of his dad’s hand. “Now we go home?” 

“Do we need to get anything else, Pep?” 

“Toilet paper, laundry detergent and dish soap.” 

“Okay. Would you be okay getting those while I go wait in the car with Peter?” He felt bad leaving her but he also knew that Pepper wouldn’t mind. She liked grocery shopping. 

“Yeah, I don’t mind. If you want to get them McDonald’s here, then I can get a few more things too.” 

Tony didn’t think of that. McDonald’s would keep them happy for a few extra minutes. “Alright. Text me when you’re in line. Come, guys.” 

“Dad, are we actually getting McDonald’s?” 

“We are.” 

“Yay! I’m gonna get… chicken nuggets!” 

After getting them food, Tony started the van and blasted the heat, digging in the tote bag for a clean diaper and wipes. “Pete, don’t get into your car seat yet.” 

“Why not?” 

“I’m going to change your diaper.” 

“I didn’t poop.” 

“I know. But it’s full.” Tony climbed into the van and shut the back door, laying a mat on the dirty car floor then pushed aside some toys and markers. They really needed to clean this thing. “Come lie down. You can bring your French fries with you.” 

“And my nuggies?” 

“No, because I don’t want you to choke.” 

Laying down, Tony tugged his track pants off and undid the straps, pulling the diaper out from underneath him. 

“It’s cold. Owww.” 

“Ow? Or the wipes cold?” 

“My bum hurts!” 

“Okay. I’ll put some rash cream on you. That’s why you have to start wearing underwear again, bud. So you won’t get anymore diaper rashes.” 

Peter ignored him and tried his best to enjoy his fries in his uncomfortable position. 

Tony grabbed a new wipe to wipe his front part but Peter whined again. “It’s cold!” 

“It’s been sitting in the cold car for an hour.” 

“No more.” 

“I’m almost done.” 

“Daddy!” Peter did a high pitch whine that Tony cringed at and closed the lid on the wipes. 

“Okay. I’m all done.” He grabbed the rash cream next, applying it on as quickly as possible, taking note of Peter’s increasingly annoyed mood. It wasn’t that he hated diaper changes, it was that he hated being told to lay down and not move for those five minutes. 

Once it was over and Tony tightly secured a fresh diaper onto him, Peter went into his car seat and put his arms through the buckles. “Daddy. Can you buckle me in?” 

“Mom won’t be back for at least another thirty minutes.” 

“Dad, can I sit in the passenger seat?” Morgan grew excited at the idea and Peter jumped out of his seat too. 

Just in case, Tony wanted to be in the driver's seat first. The car was running and if one of them accidentally hit the centre console, that wouldn’t be good. 

“Yeah, wait until I’m in the front seat though.” 

Tony got out of the car, only to get back in, sitting in the driver's seat. Morgan climbed up, getting comfortable in the front seat. “Pete, climb up here with me. Just don’t step on this part.” 

Careful not to step on that part, Peter climbed easily onto his dads lap, with his fries and chicken nuggets of course. “Why not step there?” 

“Because that’s what puts the car into reverse or drive.” 

“Oh. Can I drive the van?” 

“Hmmm… nope.” 

“Can I?” Morgan asked, as if the answer would be any different. 

“Absolutely not. I’ll teach you both to drive at thirty.” 

“Nooo.” Giggled Peter. Tony loved that sound. 

“Are you saying forty then?” 

“You’re forty.” Peter pointed out, turning to straddle his dad’s lap instead. 

Tony put his hand on his lower back, supporting him. “I’m forty three.” 

“That’s old. You had me at twenty nine?” 

Tony was impressed with how quickly he did that math. He knew most adults that needed a few seconds to figure that out. “I did. The single best day of my life, when all my babies were born.” 

Although he almost missed Morgan’s birth, and he was terrified when Harley was born since he was only twenty three. Peter’s birth was special. Unconsciously, Tony was sure that he would have a different relationship with Peter, a special one, different from his other kids. 

Peter smiled, chewing on a French fry. “But I didn’t even cry when I was being born.” 

Pushing the curls out of his eyes, Tony smiled at him. “Not when you were coming out, but then I caught you and then you started crying.” 

Peter nodded as if he remembered. “Yeah. Then I went home and drank moms boobie milk.” He turned to Morgan, pointing a finger at her. “You weren’t even born yet. Cause you’re not old enough like I am.” 

“I was born. I was there.” 

“No.” 

“Yes.” 

“No!” 

“Yes!” 

“Okay. Stop.” Why couldn’t they have one nice conversation. “When we brought Peter home from the hospital, Morgan, you weren’t born yet.” 

Peter nodded, proudly. “Yeah.” 

“So? Then I was there the second time he came home. And he cried all day.” 

Tony knew what she was talking about. It was the first time she was meeting Peter after all, kind of like they were bringing him home from the hospital. 

Peter stared at Morgan for a few seconds then fumbled around in Tony’s pocket. “Paci, daddy.” 

“Wha-aren’t you going to finish your food first?” 

“No. Paci.” 

Since he promised him it already, he pulled it out of his pocket and pushed it into Peter’s mouth, feeling both sad and content when Peter laid his head against his chest, resting on top of him. 

At least now he knew why Peter wanted the pacifier this time. 

.

.

.

“And then we’re going to go swimming when it comes tomorrow.” 

Tony explained to Peter, telling him what they would do when the hot tub arrived the following morning although it was going to be another few hours before they could swim in it. 

Peter nodded, wiping the tears off his cheeks. 

Rolling over to check the time, Tony saw that it was 3:04am. They’ve both been up since morning. No sleep. For some reason, Peter absolutely refused to sleep but was crying because he was tired. 

“And then you can wear your bathing suit from Bali. You like that one?” 

Peter nodded. 

“Do you think it’ll come first thing in the morning tomorrow?” Tony was lying down on the bed while Peter sat up on his knees, rubbing at his tired eyes. 

Pepper had to go sleep in Peter’s bed so at least one of them could function tomorrow and Tony volunteered to stay with Peter, because of course he did. 

Tony tried everything. A bottle of milk. Two more after that. Making sure Peter’s diaper was clean. He had a pacifier. Tony read to him, they watched tv, he patted his butt, but nothing worked. 

So now, Tony was just grateful that Peter wasn’t crying. At least not loudly. 

“Mm.” 

“Yeah. Do you want to try sleeping again?” A shake. “Do you want another bottle?” 

Peter shook his head. 

“Do you want…” Tony ran out of ideas. 

The two of them stared at each other for a few moments before Tony let out a sigh. He reached forward to feel if Peter was still dry, feeling that he was, he rolled onto his side. “Lie down.” 

“Mmm.” 

“Peter. It’s bedtime. What do you want?” 

“Mommy.” 

Tony would admit that he was a bit hurt at that. He would do anything to make Peter sleep at this point though so he stood up and held his arms out for Peter, gathering him in his arms and walking to the next door, opening it up. 

He felt bad for waking up Pepper but if Peter wanted her. 

“Pep, hey.” He whispered, sitting beside the bed rail. “Pepper. Peter wants you.” 

“What? Huh?” 

“Peter. He wants you.” 

“What? You’re still awake with him?” She asked, squinting at the light shining in from the hallway. 

Tony let Peter climb down and lay in front of his mom, taking his pacifier out of his mouth and turning to face her. 

“Yeah. He refuses to sleep. I’ve tried everything. Literally.” 

Pepper rubbed Peter’s back then brushed the hair out of his face, noticing his red, tired eyes. “Oh baby. You can sleep with mommy. Rest now.” 

Tony sat there, debating if he should join them or not but then Peter was pulling down the front of Pepper’s shirt. 

“Honey. Don’t do that.” Pepper pulled his hands away and covered herself back up but Peter whined loudly and pulled it down again. “No. Peter, we’re not doing that. Tony. Can you take him again? He thinks he can breastfeed.” 

Upon being denied, Peter sat up and began sobbing, loudly now. 

“I don’t know how to get him to sleep, Pepper. He won’t even lie down.” 

Pepper sat up too, pushing away Peter’s reaching hands. She grabbed the pacifier and pushed it past Peter’s lips but he spit it out. 

“Mommy!” He sobbed. “Milk!” 

Tony had to lift him back up, setting him on his hip and trying to get him to be quiet before he woke up his siblings. 

Pepper stood up too, kissing Peter’s cheek. “I’m sorry, baby. No more.” 

Peter’s cry was broken and exhausted. Tony wished he could do something to help. 

Covering herself back up, Peter turned his face into Tony’s neck and sobbed. 

“Can you help me get him to sleep? I have no idea what to do with him.” Tony hated asking for help when it came to Peter because he wanted to have all the answers but he didn’t. Especially not at 3am. 

“Okay. Let’s go back to our bed. Go get another bottle of milk but warm it up.” 

Carrying Peter back to their room, he left him on the bed with Pepper and went to go get the warm milk. 

“Peter, why aren’t you sleeping? Does your tummy hurt?” Peter shook his head, reaching for Peppers shirt. “Does your head hurt?” He shook his head again. “Do you need a diaper change?” 

He hesitated but shook his head, looking at his moms face to see if she was going to stop him or not. 

Pepper leaned against the headboard, bringing Peter onto her lap like she’s spent so many nights when he was a toddler and needed comfort to fall asleep. 

No matter how tired Tony was, he always stayed awake with them, being there for support. She really married the right one. 

When he returned with the milk, Pepper reached for it, closing Peter’s eyes with one hand and guiding the bottle to his mouth with the other, grateful that he didn’t spit it out this time. 

Sometimes he just needed his mother. 

Tony laid down and watched them, reaching out to rub Peter’s thigh, grateful that it seemed like he was actually going to sleep now. 

Peter opened his eyes so Pepper pulled the bottle from his mouth, hiding out of his sight. “Shh. Close your eyes. It’s time to sleep.” 

He shut his eyes, rubbing them with a fist and continuing to drink his milk. 

He was asleep when a bit more than half the bottle was gone so Tony replaced the nipple of the bottle with a pacifier. 

Sighing in relief, Tony laid his head down. Grateful that they could actually sleep now.