Always Be My Baby

Tony felt like it was his first day of high school again. 

He didn’t really get nervous for things and just did them but he had never done anything like this before so he was extremely nervous. 

He had his first meeting with his new therapist. Tony spoke to Peter’s therapist about her thoughts on him seeing his own therapist and her response that it wouldn’t hurt to have someone to talk to who can understand and help him work on his separation anxiety from Peter and his constant fear that Peter was going to be taken from him. Again. Amongst other stuff. 

Tony already missed Peter even though he was napping in the van right outside with Pepper. 

He walked into the room and shook hands with the woman. “It’s nice to meet you, Tony. Please, make yourself comfortable.” 

“It’s nice to meet you too. Thank you.” Tony took a seat on the sofa across from her and looked around the office. It looked nothing like Peter’s office with Karen, of course because Peter was a child and Tony was an adult. 

He looked at his therapist, Clair, she was an older woman. Maybe around her mid to late fifties. She had light brown hair that looked dyed and was pulled back into a tight ponytail. Her features were kind, a sharp jawline and a pointy nose with big green eyes that looked like they were staring into Tony’s soul, in the best way. 

He felt comfortable in her presence already. 

“My son sees a therapist so I know how this goes. I don’t want any homework such as having to leave him for multiple hours a day or anything like that.” He started off with that so the woman knew. Tony would decide if he wanted to continue seeing her depending on what she made him do in terms of dealing with his separation anxiety. 

“I’m not going to give you that kind of homework, Tony. If you’re not comfortable with anything, I’ll never assign you to do it.” 

Tony liked the sounds of that. 

“Today I just want to get to know you, tell me about yourself, your family, anything that comes to mind. If you don’t feel comfortable sharing something, that’s fine too.” 

Tony thought of where to begin. “Alright. I’m a husband to my gorgeous wife, Pepper and a father to three, amazing, incredible, beautiful children. Harley is twenty and he’s such a caring older brother, Morgan is eleven and she has such a kind heart, and Peter,” He couldn’t help the smile that spread across his face. “he’s so cute. He just has this way of putting a smile on my face no matter what. But no one can make me as tired as that boy. He does not sleep. I mean, I can't sleep without him anyways so I’ve already accepted the fact that I won’t sleep a full eight hours ever again.” He laughed and then realized he got carried away talking about Peter. 

“It sounds like you and Peter have a very close relationship.” 

“We do.” He knew she already knew that. Pepper found her for Tony, giving a short, brief history as to what Tony needed to go to therapy for. 

“Would you say you’re closer to Peter than your other children?” 

That was an easy question but Tony didn’t know how to word it right. “That’s difficult. I feel more connected to Peter. I know him better than he knows himself so it’s easier for me to be with him than Harley for example because Harley thinks he’s so mature and he is in some ways but in many ways he’s not. I struggle to find time for him. And Morgan, she grew up without her brother and her dad. Plus she’s incredibly independent. Which is an amazing thing, that she’s independent I mean.” 

Clair nodded, listening with an open notebook in her lap. 

“Do you regret not being present for your family when Peter was missing?” 

Tony looked at her then looked away. “No. I… I can’t change what I did. I… I couldn’t be there when my son wasn’t. I… I couldn’t be a father. And I didn’t want my family seeing me that way so… I mean, I couldn’t stand being there.” 

“Because Peter wasn’t?” 

“Right. And I couldn’t put a smile on my face if he was out there, somewhere, getting hurt, I didn’t know.” He sat in silence and thought for a bit. “I used to think it would be better to just… know he’s dead. Gone. Because then I could start to heal. The not knowing was… torture.” 

“And do you feel that Peter will be taken from you again?” 

Tony thought about that. Of course he did. “Sometimes. I know Steve is dead. But Bucky isn’t. And they aren’t the only two crazy, sick people in the world. Peter’s a cute little boy who is so trusting and innocent and… it scares me sometimes.” All the time. 

“Are you scared your other children will be taken from you?” 

Tony didn’t really think of it. “No. Not really. If I lose sight of Morgan or Harley, I don’t freak out because I know they’ll be right around the corner. If I lose sight of Peter… it’s different. It’s like… my mind goes crazy and all I can think about is that if I don’t have my eyes on him in the next five seconds, someone else will get him and I can’t go seven more years without him again.” 

Clair wrote some things down, listening to Tony. 

“Do you find that you sometimes hold Peter back from doing things due to your struggles?” 

Tony wanted to say no but the answer was yes. “I try not to. It’s hard. Peter doesn’t… he doesn’t understand certain things. I mean the other day he ate a laundry detergent ball because he thought it was candy in a freaking laundry room. I caught him before he swallowed it so he’s fine but…he doesn’t think rationally and just goes for it. He doesn’t know how to outweigh the pros and cons of a situation.” 

“Does he do stuff like this often?” 

Tony laughed. “God yes. I could spend our whole session naming things he’s done just this week. That boy…” He shook his head fondly. “he is such a character. And he’s smart too. He knows when he’s about to push me over the edge then he kicks it up a notch until I give in. I try not to give in. But… I do. More than I care to admit.” 

“Give in for what?” 

“His bottles, the darn pacifier, if he wants something, when he refuses to sit on the potty.” Tony listed off just a few things. He looked at Clair, she knew some things but since this was their first session, she didn’t know the details. “Oh. He’s having day time accidents and refuses to tell us when he needs to pee. We got him a potty chart to help and he’s only got one sticker on it so far.” Tony hated that stupid potty chart. It didn’t work. 

“I mean, I’ve never potty trained him before. I don’t know what the hell I'm doing. Harley was in underwear at age two with the rare accident. Morgan, I wasn’t even there to do it but she potty trained herself in like a week even younger than two. Peter was three and a half and still in diapers. Then he was taken. So I don’t know what the hell I'm doing.” 

Tony laughed wetly. “It’s more difficult than an infant. Because he can talk back, he knows what he wants and how to get it. And he wakes up every two hours a night.” 

“Have you ever thought about taking shifts with your wife so one of you can sleep?” 

“Yeah. We tried. A few times. Peter just… he won’t stop crying until he has me. So I just get up every time with him now. Usually he’s fine, I put the bottle in his mouth and he goes back to bed, I change him, pat his butt until he sleeps, but then I can’t go back to sleep. Then I finally do and he’s waking up again.” 

“Perhaps he’s feeling unsafe in his environment, perhaps something is causing him to wake up.” 

Tony shrugged. “Who knows. I’d just really like to get some sleep quite honestly.” 

“How is Peter coping with waking up every two hours?” 

“He naps. He’s napping right now in the car with his mom. Depending on how rough the night went, he’ll put himself down for a nap or I’ll do it. We tried cutting the naps out but we have to get him to sleep through the night first.” 

“Does he sleep with bottles at night?” 

“Yeah.” 

“How many does he have a night?” 

“Oh um, usually one can get him to sleep but sometimes he has two or even three.” 

“Perhaps the reason he keeps waking up at night is because he’s searching for a bottle.” She suggested. 

Tony shrugged. “Maybe. Karen, my son’s therapist, suggested that so maybe. Although we’re not dropping the bottles yet.” 

“Why?” 

There were so many reasons as to why not. 

“Because he's too attached to them. He screams bloody murder if he doesn’t get one.” 

“You're his parent. Do you let a fourteen year old call the shots on everything?” 

Yes. “No.” 

“If you and your wife decide that he doesn’t need bottles, then you need to make the decision to stop giving them to him. Why do you give in, Tony?” 

“I…” Tony didn’t know why. Well, he did know why and that scared him. 

“Are you afraid that he’ll hate you?” 

Tony remained silent. 

“Steve gave Peter bottles on demand. Now, Peter asks you for them and you’re afraid that Peter will choose his kidnapper over you. Correct?” 

Tony looked down at his hands. He didn’t know. Actually he did know but he never knew anyone else would know that. 

“Yeah. I’m scared he’ll choose Steve over me.” 

“Okay.” She encouraged him to continue. 

“He spent seven years with the man. He’s spent seven years with me too but he only remembers four of those years. From age ten to now. He doesn’t remember a time before he was kidnapped so all he knows is his life with Steve and his life with me. And I’m scared that one day, he’s going to realize he loves Steve more than he loves me.” 

“That’s a fear that you created in your mind. Now, I’ve never met Peter and I only know about him from what you’re telling me but I can say that he knows the difference between his kidnappers' love,” She put that word in quotation marks. “and your love.” 

Tony hoped so. 

“Yeah. He’s working on it with Karen. I don’t know. I just wish I could go inside his mind and see what’s going on in there to help him.” 

“You can find other ways to get him to tell you.” She noticed the mark on his hand and leaned forward, curiously. “What happened there?” 

Tony looked at his hand to see what she was talking about. “Oh. Peter bit me. He’s a biter. We’ve been trying to get him to stop for a while now. No luck.” 

“Why did he bite you?” 

“I don’t even remember. I think I was telling him he couldn’t do something so he bit me.” He explained. “He bites his sister a lot so we’re trying to stop it.” 

Clair wrote something down and Tony wished he could see her notes. 

“Does he just bite you and his sister?” 

“No. He bites anyone who annoys him or tells him what to do. Usually if someone tells him no.” 

“How does it make you feel when he bites?” 

Tony wasn’t expecting that question. “It doesn’t make me feel anything. When he bites his sister I explain to him that he can’t do that then he will most likely try to bite me next. He does it because he doesn’t know how to communicate and he gets frustrated.” 

Clair nodded. “Do you think he does it for your attention?” 

“Who knows. He does a lot for my attention even though I give that boy all my attention.” 

“How is Peter’s relationship with his mother?” 

“It’s amazing. We’re all a super close family. I got lucky. She’s more firm with him. She wants to drop the bottles. I don’t. So we argue a lot about that.” 

“Does Peter hear your arguments? Or any of your other kids?” 

“No. Never. We make it a point to never fight in front of them. And Peter is always with me so… we rarely have time to fight. But when we do it’s usually a lot.” Tony explained and was surprised that he was actually opening up so much so easily. 

“You can set up times for discussions for each other. If you want to, your wife can come in and we can discuss things together. If that helps.” 

Tony would actually consider that. “I’ll have to think about it.” He checked the time and saw that the session was over. Wow. Already. It was only thirty minutes today, just to get to know each other but it actually went better than he expected. “That was a good talk but I’m glad I get to go see my kid now.”

Clair checked the time too then smiled at Tony. “Indeed. Is Peter coming up to see you? I’d love to meet him. If that’s okay?” 

He stood up and shook the woman’s hand. “Thank you. Oh, of course.” He put his phone in his pocket after reading Pepper's text message. “He’s actually waiting outside.” 

She led him to the door where Peter was sitting on a chair, talking away to Pepper. 

“Daddy!” He got up and ran towards him, lifting his arms up. “Up.” 

“Hi, baby.” Tony lifted him up, pressing a kiss to his cheek. “Did you have a nice nap?” 

Peter nodded against him but was too busy looking at the new face that was looking at him. He buried his face in Tony’s neck. “Mmm.” 

“Don’t be shy, Peter, this is Claire, she’s my therapist. Just like you have yours.” He bounced him a bit. “Clair, this is my wife, Pepper.” 

The two of them shook hands in greeting then Pepper handed Tony a black bag. “Tony, he needs a diaper change. I didn’t want to do it in the car.” 

He smiled. He should have expected as much. “Alright.” Tony took the bag from her and walked into the on suite bathroom in the office, shutting the door and placing Peter on his feet. “Want to lie down or stand up?” 

“Lie down.” 

Tony grabbed a changing mat from the bag and laid it on the floor, waiting for Peter to lie down then he kneeled in front of him and pulled his jeans down to his ankles. “What did you do after you woke up from your nap?” 

Peter looked around at the unfamiliar bathroom. “Where are we?” 

Tony undid the sides of the diaper and pulled the front down, pulling it out from under him and pushing his knees to his chest, grateful there wasn’t poop this time. Just a red bum. “We’re in the bathroom in Claire’s office.” 

“Claire is your therapist? Like Karen’s mine.” Peter asked, flinching at the wipe rubbing over his sore rashes. 

Tony noticed the flinch and tried to be more gentle. “She is.” 

“Why can’t you just talk to Karen with me? She’s nice.” Peter asked, watching his dad dip his finger into the cream so he automatically opened his legs. 

“Because, buddy, Karen can only help kids. She studied children’s brains. Not adults.” 

“But… kids' brains and adult brains are still brains.” 

With a chuckle, Tony pushed Peter’s knees back to his chest to allow him better actress to apply cream onto his rashes and bottom. “True. But they work very differently.” 

“Oh.” 

Tony finished up and wiped his hands on a wipe then put a diaper on him, pulling his jeans back up. “Lift your hips.” He struggled to get them up. “Who’s idea was it to dress you in jeans today? Crazy person.” 

“You did.” 

Tony poked his stomach, causing him to giggle. 

It was because they were going for a mini photo shoot after and Tony wanted him to look somewhat decent. He stood up and held his hand out to lift Peter up, making him practically fly up. “Yeah, cause you look so adorable.” 

“But you’re wearing ugly pants, dad.” 

“Ugly pants. What’s wrong with my pants?” Tony asked, washing his hands quickly then grabbing the bag and opening the bathroom door. 

“It’s too big for me.” 

“For you. Not for me. That’s why they’re mine.” Tony felt Peter attach to his side once the strange person was in view again. “Aww he’s being shy. C’mere.” Tony lifted Peter up, sitting him on his hip. 

Clair approached them, reaching out to touch Peter’s leg. “Hi Peter. It’s nice to meet you. My name is Clair. You look so much like your father, you guys could be twins.” 

Peter leaned his head on Tony’s chest, staring at her but not saying anything so Tony spoke for him. “He’s definitely my little twin for sure. Although I’d have to say he’s a lot cuter.” He said, squeezing Peter’s cheeks and causing the boy to pull away and pull an angry pout that looked adorable. 

After saying their goodbyes, the three of them left the building and headed downstairs to their car. There was a light snow dusting and Peter wasn’t even wearing a coat so he quickly unlocked the car and put Peter into his car seat. “You gotta wear your jacket when we do our photoshoot, baby.” 

Peter stuck his thumb in his mouth, nodding. 

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Tony felt a headache coming on. 

Peter was in a sour mood and it didn’t help much that Morgan was still recovering and was having a bad day today. She’s been doing really well the past few days, even going grocery shopping and asking to go to her friends house but today she woke up in quite a bit of pain. 

So now Tony was cooking an easy dinner he knew his kids would eat while Pepper finished up with the zoom meeting in the office. 

Cutting up Peter’s chicken nuggets into small pieces, the way he liked it, and leaving Morgan’s whole, he scooped some broccoli, corn and mashed potatoes onto their plates and carried it into the living room. 

“Pete, move your iPad so I can hand you your plate.” He placed the plate on the table when Peter followed orders and then made sure Morgan was comfortable on the couch, her plate on a pillow in her lap. 

“Daddy, my bottle.” 

“I’ll get it. One second.” 

Peter scooped the broccoli out of his plate and pushed it across the table, not wanting to eat it. “This isn’t milk.” He observed once the bottle was handed to him. 

“No. It’s not. Milk and chicken nuggets don’t go well, kid. It’s grape juice.” Tony wasn’t going to put up a fight, so he hoped Peter didn’t either. 

“Dad?” 

“Yeah, Pete?” 

“Can-can my chicken nuggets have ketchup?” 

“You want your chicken nuggets to have a checkup?” He asked, not surprised by the request but a bit confused. 

A bit hesitant, Peter nodded. “Yeah, ketchup.” 

“Ketchup or a checkup?” Now Tony was even more confused. 

“Ketchup.” 

“Oh. Yeah, I’ll get some, Morg, want some too?” Peter’s pronunciation worried him a bit. It was that damn pacifier changing the way he spoke and sure it was cute whenever Peter made his r’s sound like w’s but it was concerning. 

“Yeah. Thanks.” 

“Daddy?” 

“Yes, Peter?” 

“Milk.” 

“After dinner. Because if I give you milk now, you’ll only drink that and not eat your food. You can’t be filling up on milk every dinner.” It was concerning but the temper tantrum Peter put up was always more concerning. And stressful. 

Getting up, Peter followed his dad into the kitchen and opened up the drawer with his bottles. “Please. I will eat my food. I promise. But… I want my milk too.” 

Tony took the bottle from his hand. “I’ll give you milk, but if I see you only drinking it and not eating, I’m taking it away.” 

Peter nodded. 

“No, do you understand me, Peter?” 

“Yes. I do. Now milk. Fill it to the top.” 

“What do you say?” 

“Please. And thank you.” He eagerly waited and when Tony handed it to him, he ran back to the living room to show Morgan. “Look. Milky in my baba.” 

“Okay.” 

Peter sighed. He hated his sister acting so tired and unwilling to play with him. Leaning against the couch as he sat on the carpet with a pile of pillows blankets underneath him, he drank his milk, watching the tv in front of him. 

“Peter, what did I say?” 

“No. I’m just drinking until this line.” 

“Eat your dinner.” 

“But I’m not hungry.” 

Tony sighed and felt like crying. He knew this was going to happen. He reached forward and grabbed Peter’s plate, then grabbed his arm. “Come sit on my lap, we’ll eat together.” 

Shaking his head, Peter decided not to move. He was too content drinking his milk and watching a YouTube video on his iPad. 

“Do I have to take that from you?” 

“No.” 

“Then eat your dinner. If I have to ask you one more time, I’m taking it.” 

“You’re mean! I’m not staying with you anymore!” Biting on the nipple of his bottle, Peter crawled behind the couch, bringing a blanket with him to lay down and drink milk but Tony’s had enough. 

He got up, pulling the blanket off Peter and taking the bottle from him. He knew it would start a riot but he was going to stay strong and not give in. 

“Noooo! Nooo! Daddy!” Peter sobbed, sitting up to cry even louder. “Mine!” 

“Nope. Not until you eat your dinner.” 

“Noooo! NO!” 

Tony just watched him. Peter kicked his legs out, throwing the pillow across the room and looked around what to throw next. 

Seeing that there was nothing else to throw, he pulled his socks off and then his shirt and was about to pull his diaper off but Tony stopped him. 

“Uh Uh. Your diaper stays on.” 

“No!” 

“Yes, because you’re going to pee on the floor.” 

“NO!” 

Tony didn’t argue back. He leaned back on the couch, feeling like his head was going to burst. 

“Dad. He’s being too loud.” Morgan complained and Tony didn’t blame her. “Tell him to stop.” 

If only it was that easy. 

“Come here, Peter.” 

Needing comfort, Peter lifted his arms up to be lifted onto his fathers lap where he immediately reached for his bottle but Tony put it out I’d reach which caused Peter to throw his head back. 

“Do you need a hug?” 

“No! Baba, daddy.” 

“Peter, I told you that you need to eat your dinner first.” Peter cried, rubbing at his eyes. “I knew if I gave you milk, you would only drink that. And you need to eat real food, Peter.” 

Peter let out a shaky breath and played with his dad’s necklace. “Wan’ moms.” 

Tony sighed. Again. 

“No. You need to eat your dinner.” 

“After milk.” 

“You’ll be full after milk.” 

“No. I won’t.” 

They’ve been over this night after night for weeks. 

“Peter. Please eat. Do you want to suck on your soother for a few minutes to calm down before you eat?” 

“Yeah.” 

“Okay.” Leaning over, Tony grabbed the first pacifier he saw and placed it in Peter’s mouth, letting him use it to calm down. They sat there for about five minutes before Peter took his pacifier out and handed it to Tony. 

“Don’t put it down.” 

“I won’t. Do you want your plate on the table?” 

“Uh huh.” 

As Peter ate, he chewed, swallowed and turned to Tony to have his pacifier for a few seconds before moving onto his next bite and Tony knew that was dependency at a different level. 

After the fifth bite, Peter turned to Tony, but Tony didn’t hand him his pacifier. “Daddy.” 

“Finish your food. You’ll get it after you’re done.” 

“I’m full.” 

“Two more really big bites. You didn’t even touch your mashed potatoes. And you only ate two chicken nuggets, buddy. Can you eat more?” 

“Eat this one?” He asked, pointing at one piece. “Or this one?” 

Tony tried not to roll his eyes. “The first one.” 

“Okay.” 

It was exhausting but in the end, Tony got Peter to actually eat. It wasn’t enough but it was something at least. But as promised, he had to give Peter the milk so he handed it to him, pulling Peter onto his lap to kiss his check. 

“I’m glad you ate. Are you full?” 

Nodding, Peter put the silicone nipple in his mouth and leaned back. He barely ate but Tony also had to remember that his stomach wasn’t as big as Harley’s or himself so he hoped it was enough for his growing, tiny body. 

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Peter stood by the front door, waiting for his dad to unlock it so they could go outside. He bounced on the balls of his feet, getting impatient. 

He was going to go to the hardwood store with his dad to pick out some wood to build a table in the basement and he got to go with just him and his dad. He was excited. 

Tony grabbed his wallet and car keys. “Alright. You ready to go?” 

“Yeah! Can we get McDonald’s too?” He asked, walking out once his dad unlocked the front door for him. He jumped down the steps and spun around to face Tony. 

“McDonald’s? We had McDonald’s the other day.” He patted his head, walking by him to unlock the van. 

“Yeah… but I want it again. A Happy Meal! With French fries and definitely not apple slices.” He insisted, opening up the back door. He spotted one of his pacifiers lying on the driveway and ran to pick it up. “Dad! Look! How did he get out here?” 

Taking it from him, Tony noticed all the dirt on it. “You must have dropped it. It’s dirty now though so it’s garbage. You have lots in the house anyways.” 

“But that means I need more.” 

Tony took the pacifier to go toss it in the garbage in the garage before it ended up in Peter’s mouth. “Next time we go to Target I’ll get you one.” Even though you have about 50 lying around inside. He thought to himself, turning his back to Peter briefly to unlock the garage door. 

Peter waited for his dad to come back while he waited by the van, leaning against it. 

He heard a dog barking and turned around to spot a big dog running towards him down the street. “He’s like Aiser, dad.” Peter concluded despite the dog being a bit bigger and a German Shepherd. He took a few steps towards the dog but when he saw that it wasn’t stopping, he screamed. 

Tony heard Peter scream and whipped his head towards him, watching as a dog jumped up on Peter, pushing him backwards and falling into the van behind him. 

“Hey!” Tony ran towards his son, thinking the dog was going to start attacking his son but it ran away as soon as it saw Tony. 

Peter sat there, tears streaming down his face as he sobbed, lifting a hand up to hold onto the back of his head. “Daddy!” 

“Come here.” Tony lifted Peter up, quickly carrying him back inside and slamming the door shut behind them. 

“My head! Daddy!” Peter sobbed, his head was on fire and he felt warm liquid dripping down his spine from where he was holding the back of his head. He let go and looked at his hand, screaming when he saw that it was covered in blood. 

Tony wanted to scream too. “Oh fuck. Pepper!? Pepper! Come here!” 

She ran downstairs, running into the kitchen. “What happened?” She asked, hearing Peter crying but that wasn’t cause for concern as he cried more than once a day anyways. “Oh my god. Tony. What happened?” Pepper immediately grabbed a dish cloth, holding it to the back of Peter’s head where his curls were wet with blood. 

“Some dog came out of nowhere and knocked him over. He must have hit the back of his head on the van.” 

“He needs to go to the hospital, Tony.” Pepper panicked and was already running to grab everything they’d need. 

Tony lifted Peter up higher in his arms and raced to the front door and within seconds they were already in the car and on the way to the hospital. Tony held Peter on his lap in the back seat, pulling the dishcloth away from his head to see that it was soaked with blood. 

“Okay. Okay.” He said to calm himself down. “You’re okay, Peter. We’re going to go to the hospital and they’re going to make you feel better.” Tony hated how they were making trips to the hospital basically every other week at this point. 

When Pepper pulled up to the front doors, Tony quickly got out with Peter, holding him closely and running up to the front desk. “Please help me. My son… he got attacked by a dog. We were just going to the store.” 

“Okay, sir. Take him into this room over here.” She quickly got up and escorted Tony into one of the emergency rooms where two doctors immediately crowded around. 

“What’s his name and age?” 

Tony placed Peter on the bed, forcing Peter to let go of him so the doctors could work. “Peter Stark. He’s fourteen.” 

“What happened?” 

Tony placed the soaked and bloody dishcloth on the bed, trying to stay from having a panic attack. “We were on our driveway and I turned my back for a second to throw something out and I heard him scream then a dog was jumping on him, knocking him over. He must have hit the back of his head on the van. I-I didn’t notice he was bleeding until I took him inside.” 

The doctors grabbed Peter’s arm and pushed a needle past his skin, causing Peter to scream and try to move away. “It’s okay, Peter. They’re going to help you.” 

Peter reached up for Tony but it was awkward since they had to check the back of his head. 

When they started cutting off Peter’s sweater and shirt, he cried harder, watching it fall to the ground. They looked at Peter’s back then grabbed gauze and placed it there, holding it in place. “What’s wrong? Is his back cut too? What’s wrong?!” 

“Sir, your son just has a cut on his back. Probably from the fall. I can assure you that we’re going to help but you just need to keep him still.” Tony was surprised they weren’t kicking him out but he assumed it was because Peter was awake and freaking out. 

Tony reached into his pocket for a pacifier but didn’t find one and cursed himself. “Shh shh. You’re okay, the doctors are just going to fix you, then we’ll go home and eat all the ice cream you want. Hmm? Do you want chocolate or vanilla?” 

Peter sucked in a shaky breath. “Cookie dough.” 

“Cookie dough? You think that’s better than chocolate ice cream?” 

Peter nodded, trying to wipe the tears off his face. “Y-yeah. And…” He turned his head, crying out when he felt someone pull down the back of his pants and something cold touch his bum. 

“Chocolate ice cream is still my favourite.” Tony said, trying to distract him. 

“I-I know.” Peter began crying again so Tony did his best to comfort him at the awkward and uncomfortable angle they were at. 

“Alright. He has a few scapes on his back, one looks a bit deep so we’re going to have the plastic surgeon come in and see if he needs stitches. He will also put stitches in Peter’s head to close the wound as it is deep but it didn’t fracture his skull. Then we’ll take him up for a CT scan just to make sure nothing is damaged. He’ll be okay, Mr. Stark.” 

Tony thanked the doctors, hugging Peter gently and immediately looking over to the new doctor who walked into the room and put gloves on. “Hello, Peter. I heard you fought off a big bear? Is that right?” 

Peter turned to look at him, shaking his head. “Not a bear.” 

“Not a bear? Was it… a lion?” 

Peter gave the faintest of smiles. “No.” 

“Not a lion either. It must have been a dinosaur then. Was it a dinosaur?” 

Peter giggled, shaking his head. “No. A bad dog.” 

“Oh. Just a dog. Well, then this will be a lot easier.” The surgeon sat down and laid some instruments out on a cloth covering a metal tray. “Can you sit on your bum and face your father? I’m just going to check out your back here.” 

Peter didn’t move. “Are-are those going to use to put… to-to use stitches?” 

“No. These are just here. They come in the kit. I’ll only be using these two, do you see?” 

Peter nodded then turned to do as the doctor said, sitting on the edge of the bed and holding onto his dad’s hands. “Owww.” 

“The tape is always the most painful part. Sorry, little man.” The doctor pulled the tape off, lifting the gauze to check out the cuts on Peter’s back. “Mr. Stark, did you see the dog scratch him at all? Or bite?” 

“No. I just saw him jump on Peter then he ran away. But he could have… I don’t know. His head was bleeding so much. It soaked a whole cloth.” He turned to find it but it was gone, likely cleaned up by the doctors. 

“It’s very normal for head injuries to bleed a lot to send blood to the brain to protect it. It’s not to worry. He’s talking and alert. I’m not seeing any bite marks and these cuts are consistent, not like a scratch.” He covered it back up with a new gauze pad. “And it does not need stitches. It’ll scab over in a few days and eventually heal. As long as he doesn’t pick the scab off, it won’t scar.” 

Tony was so relieved to hear that. He kissed Peter’s forehead. “That’s so good, baby.” 

“Can you sit up, Peter, and take your pants off. I’m just going to check to make sure there’s no more scratches or any bites then we’ll move onto your head.” 

Tony lifted Peter up, standing him up and tugging his track pants down then lifting him back onto the table to fully take them off. 

“Good. Can you face me?” 

While the doctor was looking over Peter’s legs, Pepper walked in, holding a clipboard in her hand and smiling when she saw Peter standing up. “How is he?” 

Tony let the doctor speak. “He’s good. We just need to stitch up his head and he’ll be good as new.” The doctor gently turned Peter around and touched the drying blood on his back. Either from his head or a new wound. “I’m just going to ask one of you to pull down the back of his pull-up so I can wipe the blood away and make sure it isn’t any new wounds.” 

“Yeah. Come here, Pete.” Standing up, Tony walked around the hospital bed and pulled one of the straps off, letting the doctor see. 

Peter felt uncomfortable and moved closer to his father. “It’s cold.” 

“Well, we do keep them in the freezer.” The doctor teased but Peter didn’t get it so he looked up at his dad, giving him a weird look. “And turn around.” 

Peter turned around, waiting for the doctor to be done before he was lifted back onto the table by his dad. He grabbed the back of his head, feeling the gauze on it still so he tried to pull it off. 

“Alright. I need him facing me and he can’t move. Will it be better if you hold him?” He asked Tony, already getting a few things ready. 

“Yeah.” He turned to Pepper. “Can you get him P-a-c-i?” He didn’t want Peter hearing that and the boy couldn’t spell for his life so they were good. 

“Yes. I’ll be right back.” 

“Alright, buddy. The doctor is going to fix you up but you just have to make sure that you don’t move.” Tony sat down on the hospital bed, not caring about the blood on it. He then moved Peter so he was straddling him, his head resting against his father’s chest. 

“Peter, can you turn your head the other way and look down? I know it’s comfortable but it’ll be over in no time.” 

Peter didn’t listen. However, he did turn to face the doctor. “Why?” 

“I need to stitch up your head.” 

Peter tensed in his fathers arms. “Stitches? No. My-my sister got stitches cause-cause her tummy hurt. And she’s in pain and can’t even play! I don’t want any.” He grabbed onto Tony’s shoulders. “I wanna go home. Now.” 

Tony was holding Peter’s back for support and felt something dripping on it so he pulled his hand back to see it was covered in blood. “Peter. You’re bleeding. It’ll be quick and it won’t hurt. Right?” Tony asked the doctor, probably more scared than Peter was. 

“We numbed the area. He’ll just feel slight pressure-” 

“No!” 

Pepper walked in, her face immediately reading the room and approaching Peter with a pacifier. “Baby. What’s wrong? Are you in pain?” 

“He’s refusing to sit still for the doctor to stitch him up.” Tony took the pacifier from Pepper. “Here. Do you want this?” 

Accepting the pacifier, Peter sucked on it a few times then tried to get out of his fathers lap, knowing the doctor was behind him. “I wan’ go home. ‘Addy. P’ease. Go home.” 

Tony wiped the blood off his hand, wanting to vomit at the sight. Not only was it on his head but it was also dripping down Peter’s bare back. His heart shattered. “Baby. I know. I know. We will soon. Can you let the doctor fix you?” 

“Noooo. No.” He sobbed, clearly terrified and trying to get away from the man. 

“I’ll be right back. Try to stop him from moving around so much.” The plastic surgeon left the room and Tony stood up, gently rocking Peter to get him to stop. 

“Oh, Tony.” Pepper whispered, a hand covering her mouth. “There’s blood all down his back.” 

Tony knew that. It was on his hand too but Peter was crying and refusing the doctor to work on him. He thought about asking them to lie to Peter and say they’re just gluing his head shut but that wouldn’t be fair to the boy. 

Three more doctors walked in at that moment, the first male holding a clipboard. “Mr. Stark, Mrs. Stark, my name is Dr. Shepherd. I'm the head of Nero. This is Dr. Webber, our chief of surgery. Your son has a head lac that needs to be closed and I know he has some fear of sitting still for stitches so I’m going to suggest sedating him for us to stitch him up.” 

Tony took in the information. It seemed to be their only option. He looked at Pepper, hoisting Peter up higher and feeling more blood drip down his back. “It’s the best option.” He nodded at her and she walked closer to Peter, touching his leg. “Okay. Let’s do that then. What will be the process?” 

“Alright. We’re going to move you to a procedure room on the pediatric floor then a nurse will sedate him and then I’ll stitch up his head. He’ll be out for 1-2 hours after that where we’ll do a CT just to make sure and then, once he’s awake, he’ll be ready to go home.” 

Tony nodded. It was hard to process but it was their only option and it did seem pretty simple. He nodded, following the nurse who told them to follow them to their new room. 

Tony saw all the looks they were getting because of course it looked like a scene from Carrie. Peter was wearing nothing but a diaper and had blood dripping down his back. At least the pacifier kept him from crying. 

Tony sat on the bed, holding Peter in his arms, once they walked into the room. 

“I’ll be right back with the sedatives for sedation.” 

Peter pulled away from his dad. “What’s… sedation mean?” 

Tony kissed his forehead. He was looking rather pale, most likely from the blood loss. “It’s medicine to put you to sleep.” 

Peter seemed to stop breathing for a second and he pulled the pacifier out of his mouth to talk. “I’m going to medicine sleep? Why?” 

Pepper was right by their side. “Because, baby, you hurt your head and the doctors have to fix you up.” 

Peter shook his head, reaching back to pull the gauze off. “Nooo. I’m fine. It-it doesn’t even hurt. I-I don’t wan’ go to medicine sleep, daddy. I-I… nooo.” 

Tony suddenly realized why Peter was calling it ‘medicine sleep’, Steve had drugged Peter with countless bottles of milk to get him to sleep. Peter was traumatized from that. “Peter. It’s not in a bottle. It’s just to help you feel better. You’ll go to sleep then wake up in a few hours. Just like a nap time.” 

Peter wiggled out of his arms, tossing the bloody gauze pad on the floor. “No! That’s bad. I-I won’t wake up. I-I-I’m gonna die. I’m gonna die. I don’t wanna go to medicine sleep. Daddy.” 

Tony kneeled down, pulling Peter into his arms. His heart was beating so fast. What if Peter actually died-No. no. He would be fine. He just had a cut and needed stitches. 

“I promise you, Peter, you’re going to wake up in two hours and you’re going to feel so much better and we’re going to go home and eat ice cream and watch movies all day and do whatever you want. I’ll even buy you a new toy. Okay?” He wiped the tears off Peter’s pale cheeks. “Everything will be okay. I swear to you.” 

The doctor walked into the room with two nurses so Tony stood up, lifting Peter into his arms. “Is it okay if I hold him until he’s out?” 

“That’s no problem.” One nurse smiled gently at him, probably knowing it hurt Tony more than Peter. “I just need to put these on your chest to watch your heart rate.” 

Peter moved away, despite not being able to go anywhere. “No.” 

Turning him around so they had access to him, Tony’s heart was breaking so badly. He knew Peter was scared. It hurt Tony to have to do this. 

“Do you like race cars?” The nurse asked, kneeling down in front of Tony and Peter who were now sitting on the bed. 

Peter gave a tiny nod. 

“Me too. These are kinda like special stickers. Would you like a sticker after you wake up?” 

Peter whimpered. “Am-am I gonna go to sleep and wake up in heaven?” 

Tony couldn’t help but start crying. He leaned his head on top of Peter’s, wiping his tears away. Why did this have to hurt so badly? 

The question seemed to take the nurse by surprise too. “Oh, honey, no. You’re going to wake up right here. Right in this room with your mom and dad by your side.” 

Peter didn’t look convinced. 

“Can I tell you a secret?” 

“Uh huh.” 

The nurse leaned forward, whispering in a rather loud whisper. “I find that when little boys and girls are scared to go to sleep, you just think about your happiest memory ever and then you dream about it, then ten seconds later, you’ll be waking up. I promise you.” She placed the stickers on Peter’s chest and turned the machine on. The sound of Peter’s heartbeat filled the room. “I’ll be right back.” She squeezed Tony’s hand, probably knowing how hard this was for him. 

When the nurse walked away, Pepper replaced her spot, kissing Peter’s hand. “You’re so so brave, baby. I’ll see you when you wake up.” 

Peter turned his head up to look at his dad. “I’ll see you when I fall asleep.” 

“Yeah?” 

Peter nodded, looking straight again. “Cause… my happiest memory is with you… in Bali. When… when… we went to watch the sunset… on the beach.” 

Tony kissed his head, wiping more tears away. “My baby. I’ll be here when you wake up.” 

The nurse appeared again with a syringe and distracted Peter before inserting it into his arm, making Peter cry out at the sting of pain. “All right. We’re ready. Have good dreams, Peter.” She squirted something into the tube, giving Peter a warm smile. “Count back from ten for me.” 

Peter started panicking and turned his head to look up at Tony, reaching up to desperately grab at him. “Don’-don’ leave me… don’… don’…” 

Peter’s arm went limp then his head fell forward, going completely unconscious. More tears fell from Tony’s eyes, landing on Peter’s body. “I won’t leave you, baby. Daddy’s right here.” 

His body was completely limp in his arms. If it weren’t from the steady heart beat filling the room, Tony would have thought he was dead. He’s held Peter countless of times as he’s fallen asleep but it never felt like this. 

Peter truly felt dead. 

And it terrified Tony. 

“Mr. Stark, can you lay him on the bed now?” 

Tony stood up, Peter’s head rolling back and bending at an awkward angle so he gently laid him on the bed, but before he could fix his neck, the nurse was pushing him out of the way and securing an oxygen mask onto Peter’s nose and fixing his head and arms. 

“Alright. Let’s turn him on three. One, two, three.” The doctor and nurse rolled Peter onto his side, turning his head down and draping a hospital pad over his head. 

Pepper grabbed onto Tony, holding onto him with a hard grasp. 

“Mr and Mrs. Stark, the producer will take forty minutes, you can choose to stay here or you can wait in the waiting room and we will come find you when it’s done.” 

Tony pulled up a chair. “I’m staying. Can I… hold his hand?” 

“Yes, that’s fine.” 

Tony carefully grabbed Peter’s limp hand on his, kissing it. He was just so tiny, so small. His tiny little body looked so helpless and hurt in the hospital bed that all Tony wanted to do was hold him and never let him go. How was he supposed to get over this now? It was always one thing after another and Tony just… he needed a break from bad things happening to them. 

He looked at Peter’s face. He looked… peaceful at least. He didn’t look to be in any pain but it was weird to see him sleeping with no pacifier, bottle or thumb in his mouth. 

He leaned his head on the bed, silently crying into it. This was so hard. 

The feeling of Peter going completely lifeless in his arms was enough to haunt his nightmares for weeks. 

It was the longest 45 minutes of Tony’s life but once they finished, they turned Peter onto his back and made sure his head was turned to Tony, not resting on the stitches. 

“Will it scar?” Was the first thing Tony asked. He knew it went well… but he was scared of forever having a permanent reminder of this. 

“Unfortunately his scalp will be scarred once it heals. However his hair will fully cover the scarring so you don’t need to worry about that. It’s only three inches so it isn’t big.” The doctor handed Tony a clipboard with a pamphlet on it. “Make sure the area stays dry for 48 hours. That means not to wash it so when he’s bathing, putting a shower cap on is helpful. Keep it clean as well.” 

“What about the blood in his hair?” 

“A nurse will come in to wash it out, avoiding his stitches. It’s up to you if you want to do it while he’s still sleeping or wait until he wakes up.” 

“No. No, when he’s still sleeping. That’s fine.” 

“I’ll let the nurse know. In seven days you’ll send a picture to me and I will let you know if he’s ready to take the stitches out or if he’ll need to wait seven more days.” 

Tony nodded, grateful for the pamphlet because he didn’t think he could take all this information in otherwise. 

“Is he a stomach sleeper?” 

“Umm…” Peter slept in every position possible. Literally. Stomach, back, sides, curled in a ball, on top of Tony, butt in the air, half on the couch, half hanging off… “Yeah. Sometimes. I-I can put him to bed on his stomach and he’ll stay that way.” That meant Tony wasn’t going to be getting any sleep for the next week or two. 

Reassuring Tony that Peter was okay once more and that he’d be awake within an hour or two, he left, leaving Tony alone with Peter. 

He held his tiny hand in his, watching his steady heartbeat on the monitor. Tony would turn it into a lullaby if he could to help himself fall asleep. 

He didn’t even want to think about the aspect of Peter moving away to go to college… would it be awful of Tony to stop him… probably. 

He turned when he saw a nurse walk into the room, holding a diaper and wipes in her hand. She smiled at Tony warmly. It was the same one who had calmed Peter down before putting him to sleep. 

“Usually we put a catheter in. But that isn’t necessary for him. I’ll be quick.” 

Before Tony could say anything, she undid the tapes and pulled down the front, sliding the diaper out. “I can do it.” Tony told her, sitting up a bit more. He would have appreciated it if she had asked him first. 

“Oh, no worries. It’s my job. I’ll be quick.” 

“He… he has a diaper rash… um…” Tony stood up. They didn’t bring any cream, they didn’t bring anything with them. 

The nurse finished wiping Peter and got another diaper on him, pulling it up the front but not strapping it. “I see. What brand do you use at home?” 

“Sudocrem.” 

“I’ll be right back.” She smiled, took off her gloves and left the room so while she was gone, Tony went into the bathroom to wash his hands thoroughly. When he walked out, she was walking in, holding a small container of the cream. 

“Thank you. I’m going to do it myself though. I know my son would feel more comfortable with that.” And me. 

“Of course, Mr. Stark.” She handed him the container and grabbed Peter’s clipboard, checking his vitals. “Can I ask why he’s in diapers?” 

Tony lifted Peter’s legs up with one hand, finding it rather difficult to do. Doing this when Peter was awake and lifting his own legs was so much easier. “Yeah. He Uh, he was kidnapped. When he was three. We didn’t get him back until he was 10. Then… he was kidnapped by the same man three months ago. So… he’s, we’re struggling just a bit. This,” He gestured to Peter’s head. “definitely doesn’t help.” 

He pulled down the front of the diaper just as Peter started peeing so Tony quickly covered him back up, holding it closed until he’s done. “Now, if he was awake, I’d say he’s doing this on purpose.” Both of them laughed. 

“Mr. Stark, I can’t even begin to imagine what you’re going through. But what I do see is a father who loves his son with everything in him and a little boy who only needs his father and family by his side to heal. Physically,” She gestured to Peter’s head. “of course. But also mentally. It’s so important that you’re there for him and I can see that you are.” 

That genuinely felt good to hear. “Thank you for saying that.” 

“Of course. Now let me go grab you another diaper for him.” 

While she was gone, Tony applied cream everywhere and hoped she returned soon because he had a feeling Peter was going to pee again. And he was directly in the line of attack. 

She handed Tony a package of pampers. Of course. His least favourite brand. He accepted it gratefully though. “Thank you so much.” 

“How is he doing?” Pepper asked Tony upon walking into the room. “I just had to fill out about ten pages of paperwork about what happened. Apparently two hospital visits in a month are cause for concern.” 

Tony snapped his head to look at her. “Concern? What? What does that mean? We weren’t even at home when he fell out of a window. And he was attacked by a random dog this time. Do they know that? Did you tell them that?” 

The fear of Peter getting taken away from him was terrifying. 

He was glad that Peter was currently unconscious now. 

“Tony. Take a breath. Everything is sorted. That’s why I had to fill out the paperwork. It’s just hospital protocol but they know Peter’s… history. I put down Karen’s contact information as requested so it’s fine, Tony.” 

Tony looked down, trying to breathe. He took a few breaths then walked into the bathroom to wash his hands. “So it’s all sorted then? I’m not going to get a call from a social worker who wants to take my kid away from me?” 

Pepper blinked at him. “From us. And no. That’s why I filled out the forms. Let’s just focus on Peter. When he wakes up, we’re going to go home and focus on healing. All of us.” 

That would be really nice. 

He sat down and grabbed onto Peter’s hand again but two nurses walked in at that moment. 

“We’re going to bring Peter for a CT now.” She said, unhooking him from the heart monitor and the silence that filled the room was deafening. 

“Can I come with him?” 

“Unfortunately you’ll have to stay here, Mr. Stark. But I can assure you that we will have Peter back as soon as possible.” 

Before Tony knew it, Peter was being wheeled out of the room. He had to watch as his kid was wheeled out of sight from him and although Tony knew it wasn’t his fault since he had to stay, he couldn’t help but feel like he broke Peter’s promise. 

What if he woke up while he was having a CT? He would be so scared and alone. 

Pepper seemed to sense his thought’s getting the better of him so she wrapped her arms around him, leaning her head on his chest. “He’s okay, Tony. They’re just checking his brain. He’s going to come back to this room in a few minutes. He’s fine.” 

He tried to focus on that but it wasn’t until 50 minutes later when Peter was being wheeled back in, still completely unconscious. It’s been two hours already and it was supposed to be 1-3 hours. Why wasn’t Peter awake yet? 

He watched them hook Peter up to the monitor again and although the sound of his steady heartbeat was calming, it was still stressing Tony out that he wasn’t even awake yet. 

“Is he okay?” He asked, his anxiety racing. Why did it take so long? 

The doctor gave Tony a warming smile. “His scans came back clear. He does have a mild concussion but other than that, there’s no signs of swelling or any bleeding.” 

Tony took a breath. That felt good to hear. “When will he wake up?” He asked the nurse who stayed in the room once the doctor left. 

“Well… it takes a few hours for patients to wake up from anesthesia. It’s different for everyone but he should be waking up within the next hour.” She put the clipboard on Peter’s bed and left with a smile. “Don’t worry, Mr. Stark, he’ll be awake soon.” 

Not soon enough apparently. 

Tony sat there, Peter’s hand in his while he waited for him to wake up. Pepper eventually got up and kissed Tony’s cheek. “I’m going to go get some food for us. I’ll be back. Text me if he wakes up.” 

“I don’t have my phone. And don’t get me anything. I’m not hungry.” 

“Tony. You need to eat. I’ll be quick.” 

He watched her leave and leaned against the bed again, wanting to go home. He thought back to what he could have done differently. He shouldn’t have left Peter’s side. That dog knocked Peter over so easily because he was so small, if only Tony stayed by his side, No. No, he couldn’t keep Peter at his side at all times. It just didn’t work that way. 

As much as it scared him, he had to let Peter leave his side. Especially at their house. 

He kissed Peter’s hand, keeping it on his lips but then the floor shook and a loud bang sounded from the distance. Tony stood up. What the fuck. 

He turned around, seeing a few doctors running down the hallway. Tony walked towards the doorway, looking around. “What’s going on? What was that bang?” 

No one paid him any mind so he walked over to the nurses station across from Peter’s room and approached the first nurse he saw, not caring about interrupting her phone call. “Excuse me, can you tell me what’s going on?” 

“Everything is under control, sir. Please go back to your room.” 

“Are you sure, because that bang sounded like an explosion. I mean, the floor shook-” 

Tony was cut off by another explosion somewhere in the hospital, sounding a lot closer. He watched as dust and crumbs from the ceiling fell to the floor. His head snapped in the direction of the screams and he watched two women and a man running down the hallway shouting something about a bomb in the hospital. 

“Ma’am! Ma’am! Sir! Please remain calm. I can assure you-” 

“There’s a bomb! There’s a bomb! Everybody run!” 

That got the attention of everyone on their floor. He ran back into Peter’s room and looked at him, he was still sleeping and didn’t look like he was going to wake up anytime soon. 

Tony carefully pulled off the heart monitor on his chest but hesitated at the oxygen mask on his face. He couldn’t lift Peter up with it but he didn’t know how important it was to help Peter breathe. 

He ran back into the hallway, trying to flag down a doctor or nurse. “Help! Can someone help me! My son…” He couldn’t find anyone who was willing or even able to help. “Fuck it.” He rushed back into the room and tried to see what the oxygen was connected to, hoping it was something small but it was in the wall so he cursed and pulled it out of Peter’s nose, hoping he could still breathe properly. 

Ever so carefully, Tony lifted Peter into his arms, hating the way Peter’s body felt like jello. His arms and legs were completely lax and his neck rolled around awkwardly so Tony held him bridal style, trying to keep Peter’s head to stop from rolling back. 

He rushed into the stairwell and lifted his arm up to get Peter’s head at a better angle, moving aside as five policemen raced up the stairs. 

Tony’s heart was racing so fast. If there was an actual freaking bomb in the hospital then that meant that it could be literally anywhere and go off at any time. 

He pushed open the door when he eventually made it down to the lobby and felt Peter give a slight twitch. Not able to look down at him at that moment, Tony searched around for Pepper. In the chaos of everyone running around, he knew he wouldn’t find her there but still, he looked. 

He knew that she knew he would take Peter so it was very unlucky that Pepper went back to the third floor. Unless she didn’t know there was a bomb-

“Tony! Tony!” 

He turned around, hearing his name being called but not seeing anyone. 

“Tony! Oh my god. What’s going on? Someone said there’s a bomb! Is that true?” Pepper grabbed Tony’s arm, panicked written all over her face and looked down at Peter in his arms, a look of relief in her features. 

“I don’t know what’s going on. Let’s just get out of here. He’s starting to wake up I think.” As he said that, Peter shifted even more. He moved his arm up, turning his face into his fathers chest. “Yeah, he’s starting to wake up.” 

“Let’s go.” Pepper ran ahead, holding the door open for Tony to walk through. It was a whole less chaotic outside. There were police cars and two fire trucks parked off to the side but no one was screaming or running around like they just had been inside. 

“Do you have the car keys?” Tony asked, looking down at Peter when he started whimpering, moving around in his arms. “Peter. Hey, buddy.” 

He stepped over to the side, just in case more people came running out. “Hi, buddy. Can you open your eyes for me?” Tony knew it was bright and he knew how awful it felt waking up from anesthesia so he really felt for him. 

Peter moaned, looking up at him. “Mmmm. My head… feels… foggy.” 

“That’s normal. We’re going home now.” He saw Pepper pull the car keys out of her purse and followed her to the van. At least this didn’t happen during Peter’s procedure but why the fuck does this stuff always have to happen to them? 

.

.

.

Tony and Pepper decided not to have a big dinner. 

They didn’t want the fuss of deciding what everyone wanted and making that for three different kids so they made grilled cheeses with fries. It was quick and simple and everyone would eat it. 

Peter was feeling a bit out of it from the painkillers they gave him so he laid on the couch, sucking on a pacifier and watching the cartoon playing on the tv and had been for the last two hours. 

After watching the news and hearing that it was not a bomb going off in the hospital but rather an oxygen tank exploding, two for that matter, Tony felt a bit better but that still didn’t change the fact of how scary it felt or how it was unfair that this stuff always happened to them. 

Yet they survived it and always will… no matter what. 

Even though he was exhausted. 

Tony had to keep checking up on him, worried about him since he was so quiet. 

He wasn’t used to having such a quiet house. 

Pepper brought the plates into the living room, placing them on the table then went back for drinks. “Here, Tony, grape juice in this bottle and milk in this one.” 

Tony took the bottles from her and sat down by Peter’s feet, patting his butt. “Are you hungry?” 

Peter nodded. 

“Good. Because mommy made grilled cheese. Sit up.” He held his hand out for the pacifier. “Do you want me to hold onto it while you eat then I’ll give it back to you after.” 

Peter must have been hungry because he handed his pacifier to his dad and sat up, looking at his plate of grilled cheese. “Cut it in three triangles.” 

“Three?” Tony didn’t know how that was possible. “Do you want it in squares?” 

“No.” 

“Two triangles?” 

“Noo. Just three.” 

Tony didn’t know how he was supposed to do that. He cut it in half then cut one slice in half again. “Like this?” 

He showed Peter and watched his face, knowing he messed up. “Nooo. Not like that. You did it wrong.” He started crying, wiping the tears off his cheeks but it kept on coming. 

Tony sat there, feeling helpless. 

One day, it would be nice to sit down and eat a family dinner without protests and crying over how the food was cut or touched by other foods. 

Peter pushed the plate away, full on sobbing now. 

Pepper cut her own grilled cheese into four slices and put one of the slices on Tony’s plate then switched the sandwiches on different plates, handing one to Peter. “Is this one better, honey?” 

Peter wiped away his tears to look. “Yeah.” He took the plate and stopped crying, taking a bite of his food while Tony sat there, still completely lost. 

At least Peter was feeling well enough to fight with him. 

He knew Peter struggled a lot with his emotions and it was quite difficult for him to process things and Tony tried to understand that. At least he tried to be patient with him. 

He sat down next to him, them all eating in relative silence since it was a rather quiet evening after everything. 

Once Peter was done, he grabbed his milk and leaned against his dad, whining. “Mm put your arm here.” 

“Alright.” He smiled to himself and swung an arm around Peter’s shoulders, feeling him relax against him. “Are you full? Or do you want more?” 

“No more.” 

Harley ran back to his room to play video games, Morgan was told to go wash her hair for school tomorrow and Pepper went to clean up the kitchen so it was just Peter and Tony left. 

Just the two of them. 

Just how Tony liked it sometimes. 

He kissed his head, looking to see how much milk was left in the bottle. “After you’re done, I’ll fill it up and we can go relax in bed, baby. Okay?” 

“Mmmhm.” 

Carrying Peter upstairs a little while later, Tony laid him on the bed where he changed his diaper, got him into pyjamas and made sure he was comfortable with his mom so Tony could go shower. 

It was nice to have a break for at least a few minutes and to wash the day off. He felt refreshed after and ready for bed but when he walked out of the bathroom, Pepper was getting out another diaper and wipes. 

“He just had diarrhea. Can you change him?” 

He sighed, taking the supplies from her. “Does his stomach hurt?” 

“No. He says it doesn’t. He just… had diarrhea. You have fun. I’m going to go work in the office a bit so I don’t have to go to work tomorrow.” 

“Alright. Well…” As gross as it was, Tony was used to it by now. He laid out a towel on the bed and made quick progress getting him cleaned up and changed then the two of them were back in bed. 

Tony came back from the bathroom from washing his hands and throwing the diaper out then took the bottle off the bed, putting it on the dresser. 

“Nooo. That’s mine.” Peter whined, sitting up on his knees to crawl towards the edge of the bed. 

“If you’re having diarrhea then I don’t want you drinking anymore milk tonight.” He told him, both because he didn’t want Peter to have an upset tummy and because he was done with diaper changes today. It was too much and some days he felt that was all he did. 

Peter didn’t seem to care though. He slapped the bed. “I want it.” 

“Where’s your soother?” Tony looked around on the bed, finding it by Peter’s pillow. “Do you want it?” 

“Yeah… and milk.” 

“Baby. No more milk.” 

Peter began crying so Tony rubbed a stressful hand over his face and turned the other way to shut the lamp off, closing his eyes to sleep. 

“Daddy! Baba!” Peter cried louder and it turned into wailing when Tony didn’t respond to him so Peter slid out of the bed and opened the bedroom door, running down the hallway to go find his mom but Tony let him go. He was so exhausted and this constant battle at bedtime was really making Tony consider finally dropping the bottles and pacifiers altogether. 

He was scared though. 

For a lot of reasons. 

Tony laid there in the bed, trying to fall asleep yet stay awake for Peter at the same time. 

After about an hour and Peter still wasn’t back up and he didn’t hear him, Tony got out of bed, taking the pacifier with him and going downstairs, walking down the hallway and walking into the office. 

Peter was awake, sitting on his moms lap with an empty bottle in his hand and a pacifier bobbing up and down in his mouth. He looked at Tony, no expression on his face. 

“Hey.” 

“Hi. I thought you’d be asleep by now.”

Tony walked further into the office. “No. I Uh,” can’t sleep without Peter. “I’m still awake.” 

Pepper was busy typing something onto the computer but Tony didn’t want Peter knowing much about the behind the scenes of their company. At least not yet. Harley didn’t even know most of it despite having an internship there. Tony took a seat on the chair in front of the desk, leaning back and making eye contact with Peter again. 

“I can take him up when I’m done. I’ll probably be another hour or so.” 

Tony nodded, not moving. 

“He has an appointment with Karen tomorrow at nine. I can take him after I drop Morgan off at school. Did you want to take Harley to the tower then? He’s been asking to shadow you in the lab for awhile now and if you’re there, he can join in on the meeting at 12.” 

Tony pinched the bridge of his nose. “Um… what’s this meeting?” 

“I sent you a briefing email about it two days ago, Tony. When I asked you, you said you’d read it.” Pepper sounded annoyed but Tony’s been busy… obviously. 

He shrugged. “Well, I didn’t.” 

“Tony.” 

“I’ll attend it. I’ll read it over tomorrow after I wake up.” He looked at Peter, seeing that he looked content but wide awake. “Harley can work with me in my lab but he’s not attending the meeting.” 

“You knew when we had a son that he would be taking over the company one day. Especially that he’s the oldest. He has to learn eventually, Tony.” 

Tony didn’t care. “And he will. When he’s twenty five.” 

Pepper went back to typing stuff on her computer, one hand holding Peter’s stomach. 

“I’ll take him up.” He said, standing up and walking around the desk. 

“Alright. Go to bed, baby. I’ll see you when you wake up.” 

Peter lifted his arms up for his dad, being lifted into the man’s arms and resting a head on his shoulder. He wrapped his arms around the man’s neck, closing his eyes to listen to his dad’s heartbeat. 

Once they were upstairs, Tony laid down, keeping Peter on him so they could sleep closely, seeing as they both needed it. 

.

.

.

Peter woke up to his bottom irritating him. 

He rolled onto his stomach and pushed himself up on his elbows, feeling something warm drip to the front of his diaper. Whimpering, he sat up and tugged on it, rolling over to tap his dad’s head. 

“Daddy.” He whispered. “Daddy. My bum…” 

Tony woke up after the second tap, looking over at Peter. “What’s wrong? Did you have a bad dream?” 

Peter shook his head. “My bum… I pooped.” 

Tony sighed and grabbed his phone off the nightstand table. It was 3:47am. Meaning Tony was most likely up for the day now. He wouldn’t be able to go back to sleep and Peter would be awake at 5am anyways. 

“Okay. Let’s go do this in the bathroom.” Getting up, Tony turned the light on, dimming it so as to not hurt their eyes. He shut the door once Peter was in and turned the shower on. He wasn’t using wipes this time. “Did you go in your sleep?” 

Peter felt uncomfortable. He knew his dad was mad at him. “Umm…” He tried to decide what his dad wanted to hear. “Yeah.” 

Tony didn’t reply. 

He took the diaper off, putting it in the diaper genie and pulled Peter’s arm, gently pushing him into the shower but as soon as the water touched his butt, he moved away and yelped. 

“It hurts!” 

Great. Just what they needed. Another diaper rash. 

Tony turned Peter around, checking it and sighing. It was red and the skin was peeling. Fantastic. 

“I don’t know what to do anymore, Peter.” Tony admitted. “I want to keep you naked so your skin can get fresh air but you’re not potty trained anymore.” 

Peter stood there, shivering and in pain. He shrugged. “I’m sorry.” 

“No. Don’t be sorry. It’s not your fault.” It was fucking Steve’s fault. He used the shower hose again to rinse Peter down then hung it up to pour body wash onto his hand. “Come closer.” 

Peter did, letting his dad clean him but he couldn’t help but start crying. 

“Peter. What, baby?” 

Peter let out a sob. “I’m- I-I’m s-s-sorry I’m s-so messed up.” 

If Tony’s hands weren’t so full of soap, he would pull Peter in for a hug. Instead, he rinsed them off and grabbed onto Peter’s hands, pulling them away from his face. “Do not say that. You aren’t messed up. You’re so perfect. I love you so much, you’re the most perfect boy I could ever ask for.” 

That didn’t seem to make Peter feel better. “Then-then w-why d-do I have a-a-accidents?” 

Tony caressed his cheek, dripping water down his arm. “Because you went through something traumatic in your life and wetting the bed and having daytime accidents is a completely normal bodily reaction to that trauma.” 

He wasn’t sure if Peter could understand that or not. It was hard for Peter to process that what happened to him wasn’t normal or fair. 

“You’ll be potty trained again. I promise you. Not today or tomorrow or next week, maybe next month, maybe not. But you will one day soon. I’ll help you. But you have to try too, okay?” 

Peter sniffled, nodding. 

“You’ve got a bad diaper rash and I want to put cream on you and let you sleep naked to let it heal but I’m worried you’re going to have diarrhea again. So it’s up to you?” 

“W-what is?” 

Tony rinsed him off, being careful to not aggravate the peeling skin too much. 

“Owwww.” 

He finished off, shutting the water off and wrapping Peter in a fluffy towel. 

Tony went back to their conversation. “If you want, you can sleep naked and I’ll put a towel under you in case you have an accident. Or you can wear a diaper. It’s up to you.” 

Peter just wanted to sleep and not wake up to a wet bed again. Those nights were hard. “I want to wear a diaper.” 

Tony didn’t respond, he left Peter standing by the bathroom counter and grabbed a diaper from the box as well as the container of rash cream then sat on Pepper’s makeup stool, pulling Peter to stand in front of him. 

“Are you still up for seeing Karen tomorrow?” 

“Will-will you come?” 

“No. Just mom. I’ll be at the tower with your brother tomorrow.” He explained, taking the towel off of him and wincing at the raw red skin. He dipped his finger into the cream and began applying. “Does it hurt?” 

“A bit.” He answered then went back to their previous conversation. “Can you come with me to see Karen? Then go to work after?” 

“No. I have a meeting at 12 and Harley needs to work in my lab for a bit for his internship, bubs.” 

“Oh.” Peter tried not to be too upset by that. He rubbed his eyes. He was still tired but the burning skin wasn’t hurting as badly as the cold cream was applied. He didn’t say anything else as his dad finished up and secured a diaper onto him. 

He watched him get up to wash his hands then held it out for him to grab. “Let’s go back to bed, Peter.” 

“Can… can I have milk?” 

“No.” 

Peter sighed but expected that answer. “Okay.” Walking forward, he took his fathers hand and let him pull him into the bedroom, lifting him onto the bed then climbing in next to him. Peter swung an arm over his dad’s chest. “Paci?” 

Without saying anything, Tony tried to push it past his lips but poked him in the eye instead. Peter smiled behind it. “You poked my eye.” He laughed, saying muffled behind the silicone plastic in his mouth. 

“Sorry, baby. Sleep now.” 

Tony knew he’d be getting no sleep. 

.

.

.

“Morgan, don’t eat your lunch now. I made that for your actual lunch at school.” Pepper rushed around the kitchen, trying to get all their kids fed for breakfast while making lunches for Peter and Morgan. 

Peter sat at the table, drinking his bottle and watching his mom rush around and he hadn’t even gotten dressed yet. Morgan was still in her pyjamas too and Harley wasn’t even awake yet. 

“Mom, I’m still hungry. You didn’t make this begal good enough.” Morgan complained, trying to scrape the burnt bits off.  

“Can you pour yourself a bowl of cereal then, honey? I need to make Peter’s lunch and finish yours then get your brother dressed.” 

Morgan slid off the chair and opened the fridge, grabbing the giant milk jug out and lifting it onto the counter. Peter watched her jump up to grab a bowl and a spoon then grabbed coco puff cereal from the cabinet then placed it all on the kitchen island, sitting up on her stool on her knees. 

Peter watched, sucking on his bottle spout instead of drinking it now. 

He had been up since 5am so his dad and him already ate breakfast a few hours ago. 

Morgan poured her cereal into the bowl, accidentally pouring too much so she put a handful back then opened the milk jug, struggling to lift it high enough to pour it. 

She couldn’t lift the whole jug up so she ended up dropping it onto the counter, watching it spill out. “Oh no!” 

Peter gasped. “My milk!” 

“Morgan! Pick it up!” Pepper yelled as she watched her kids just sit there and do nothing. She was already overwhelmed with everything in the house while Tony was upstairs getting ready and going over the criteria for his meeting in a few hours. 

Pepper ended up having to pick it up but half of the milk was on the floor now. 

“I’m sorry, mom.” 

“It’s fine, Morgan. Can you get some paper towels to clean it up. Peter, help your sister, will you?” Pepper told him then went back to doing what she was doing, trying to finish on time. They would definitely be late. 

Peter slid off his stool and tried to clean it up with one hand, sitting in the milk by accident. 

“Now your diaper is full of milk.” Morgan said, pushing the milk towards him so his diaper would absorb it. “Mom! Petey needs a diaper change. Can I do it?” 

Pepper was distracted. “Yeah. What, no. No. Go get dressed, Morgan. I’ll do it.” She grabbed the cream off the counter and took Peter’s hand, waiting for him to stand up only the phone started ringing. “Hello? Oh, hi mom. Yeah, we’re just getting ready for the day. Yeah. Yeah. You just caught us at a busy time.” 

Pepper pulled Peter over to the living room, pointing to the couch and waiting for him to lie down. “No, mom. I don’t know. Yeah. I know. No, I’m just changing Peter’s diaper right now. Not yet, mom. Yes, he’s here. Okay.” Pepper put the phone on speaker. “Grandma wants to talk to you, Peter.” 

“Hi baby. Are you getting your bum changed?” 

Peter nodded. 

“Peter, grandma can’t see you. Take the bottle out of your mouth to talk to her.” Pepper told him, opening up the diaper and folding it closed then tossing it on the floor for now. “Lift your legs to your chest.” 

“Are you going to school today, Peter?” 

“No. To see Karen.” 

“Ohh. How fun. Are you excited?” 

Peter whined when his mom wiped over a rather painful spot. “Owwwww.” 

“Lift your legs up, Peter.” 

Peter pulled them to his chest, crying out again and rolling onto his stomach. “Noo. No more. You’re hurting me.” 

Pepper gave up. “Then wait here until your father comes down.” She grabbed the dirty diaper and walked back to the kitchen, stopping to point a finger at him when he followed. “No. You can wait there until your father puts a diaper on you.” 

Peter threw himself to the floor and started crying loudly. “Daddy! Daddy! Daddy! Dadddyyy!” Instead of his dad coming down, Aiser walked over to him and licked his face. “Nooo. Stop it. Aiser. Stop!” 

Aiser didn’t stop and went to climb on top of Peter, crushing him so he screamed out, trying to get out from under him. 

“Aiser! Get off.” Tony pointed a finger at their dog who climbed off of helpless and naked Peter underneath him then Tony sat on the couch and lifted Peter up. “What’s wrong?” 

“Mom yelled at me!” Peter sobbed, pointing towards the kitchen. “Let’s get you in a diaper and clothes then we can cuddle for a bit before I go.” 

“No. Don’t go.” 

Tony wanted to pick Peter up but he was naked and had diaper rash cream smeared between his legs and Tony didn’t want that on his suit. He grabbed the wipes and switched positions with Peter, pushing his knees to his chest. “Let me know if it hurts.” He then used the wipe to gently clean the skin around his bottom and privates. 

Once that was done, Tony put cream on and put a diaper on him, lifting him up immediately and hugging him close, pressing a ton of kisses all over his cheek. “I love you. Does your bum feel better?” 

“No.” 

“No? Do we have to go to the hospital?” Tony joked, poking his all too boney side. 

Peter giggled. “No.” 

“No? Maybe I have to take you to the doctors so they can give you a whole new bum.” 

Peter laughed harder, shaking his head. “No. I come to work with you. Please.” 

Tony sighed. “Baby. I’ll see you after. I have a meeting. Don’t you think I look handsome dressed up?” 

Peter shook his head. “No. You look like poopy.” 

“Poopy. Interesting. Well, I think you look as handsome as ever in that diaper. All we need to do is put you in a tie and you’re good to go.” 

Peter didn’t look impressed. “No.” 

Seems all Tony was going to get out of him was going to be no’s this morning so Tony walked upstairs with him, going into his bedroom to get him dressed. He continued to hold Peter with one arm as he leaned down into the laundry basket to grab grey jogging pants and a dark blue sweatshirt with a white long sleeved shirt and socks, setting Peter down on the bed. 

“You’re going to be so comfortable today, feel how soft these pants are.” He said, putting them on Peter and lifting them up his hips, flattening the diaper out underneath it despite it not making any difference anyways. 

Harley walked into the bedroom, still in his pyjamas. “Harley. We’re leaving in like ten minutes. Go get dressed.” 

“Can I drive today? In my car.” 

Tony got Peter’s shirt on. “No. I’m driving in my car and mom is taking the van today. You’re coming with me. Now go get dressed. Quickly.” 

Groaning, Harley went back to his bedroom while Tony finished getting Peter dressed, giving him a pacifier when they were done. He lifted him back into his arms, holding him on his hip as they headed downstairs where Tony placed Peter on his feet. 

“Tony. Can you get them in the van? I’m stuck cleaning milk off the kitchen floor.” Pepper called from the kitchen so Tony walked in, seeing the mess. 

“Peter?” 

“No. Morgan. I’ll be done in like five minutes.” 

Tony handed her a dish cloth and went back to the front door, yelling upstairs. “Harley, I’m leaving with or without you in five minutes!” He turned to his kids, Morgan was wearing a hat, boots and a jacket and Peter was putting on sandals. Yep. That pretty much summed up his kids. He reached into the closet to take out shoes for Peter and took the sandal away from him. “Can you get these on?” 

Peter pushed them away. “No. I want to wear my sandals.” 

“Socks and sandals?” 

“Yes.” 

Tony wasn’t going to fight him. “Alright. Get them on.” I’m glad your mother is taking you today. He laughed to himself and took them out to the van while he waited for Pepper and Harley, turning a paranoid glance over his shoulder to check if any dogs were running down the street. 

Although it had been almost a week since that incident, it was yet another thing Tony had to worry about. There were so many things he had to protect his children from in this world. 

He unlocked the car, watching Peter run to his side and Morgan run around to her side. “Daddy, when you-can I climb in myself?” 

“Yeah. Go for it.” He waited until Peter was sitting down in his car seat and got his arms through the straps, pulling the buckle up between his legs. “I can do it.” 

“No, I’m going to do this part so you’re secure.” He got him buckled in no problem, putting the diaper bag into the van and kissing Peter’s cheek. “Have a good talk with Karen today. And Morgan, have a good day at school.” 

“We’re making volcanoes in class today!” 

“I want to make a volcano.” 

“Maybe Morgan can teach you how to do it after school today.” Tony suggested. 

Pepper was done and walked over, kissing Tony’s cheek. “Thanks. Have a good day today.” She got into the front seat and took the keys from Tony, starting the van. 

“You too. I love you guys, see you later today.” 

Peter looked confused now and slightly panicked. “You’re not driving?” 

Tony ruffled his hair. “I am. I’m driving my car. You’re going with mom. Remember I told you last night?” 

Peter reached for him. “Noo. I don’t remember. I want you to come.” 

Harley walked outside, tossing his bag into Tony’s Audi and getting into the passenger seat. “I’m ready, dad. Am I joining your meeting too?” 

Tony told Harley to hold on and caressed Peter’s face. It was so hard to leave Peter but when Peter did this, it made it almost impossible. He kissed his cheek. “I love you. I’ll see you so soon. Okay? Be a good boy for mom, alright?” 

Peter arched his back the best he could in his harness and began crying. “Noooo I don’t wan’ you to leave! I wan’-I want come with you. Daddy!” 

“Just go, Tony. He’s not going to stop crying now.” Pepper told him. It was almost 8:30 and Morgan’s school started at 8:30 and it was fifteen minutes away with morning traffic and Peter’s appointment was at nine. They would be late for both. 

Tony kissed Peter one last time. “Okay. I love you, Peter. I’ll see you soon. Daddy’s gotta go to work.” Peter screamed, begging him to stay then he shut the door, blocking out the screams and feeling like the worst father on the planet. 

He sighed, getting into his car and waiting for them to pull out of the driveway before he did, since they were going in the same direction. 

“He’s probably fine, dad. He’s just… emotional.” 

Tony sighed, starting the car and pulling out of the driveway, pulling up right behind them at the stop sign. “No. He’s got really bad separation anxiety so being separated like this is really, really hard for him.” 

Harley didn’t respond for a few moments. “Maybe because you guys are together every second of the day.” 

He had a point. “Because if we aren’t, this happens. But we’re going to work on it soon. It’s nothing for you to worry about.” 

Tony kept driving behind them, not on purpose but because they were heading in the same direction. When Pepper had to make a turn, Tony cringed when he had to drive up right beside the car, hoping Peter didn’t see him. 

The light just turned red so Tony glanced over, seeing Peter rubbing his eyes aggressively and still crying. He then looked at Pepper who shook her head at him. He shrugged at her. There wasn’t much they could do right now. 

Tony looked back at Peter who had somehow managed to take his seatbelt off and was taking his arms out of it. What the fuck. 

Pepper saw it in the mirror and turned around, telling him something. 

Tony couldn’t believe this. Why did this have to happen. Peter had no idea how to get out of his car seat and this was the reason he was still sitting in a 5-point harness because after the car accident, Tony and Pepper agreed it was safer for him to stay in it for a bit longer. 

And now he mastered how to get out. 

Harley chuckled. “Looks like he figured out how to get out.” 

Pepper put her turning signal on to cut in front of Tony and moved up a bit. He sighed. He should probably just switch places with Pepper and cancel lab day with Harley. But he couldn’t, could he? 

The light turned green and Pepper drove in front of Tony, switching lanes and pulling into the first parking lot which happened to be aTarget. She parked at the back, shut the van off and opened up the back door. 

Tony pulled up in the parking space behind them, not knowing if he should go out to help or not. 

“Why aren’t you helping?” Harley asked. 

“Because if your brother sees me, it’s going to be worse.” He watched, hoping Pepper had it handled. He saw two shoes being thrown outside and a bottle then Pepper pulled Peter out of the car, just in time for him to gag, then fall to his knees and vomit from crying so hard. 

Tony couldn’t watch this anymore. He got out of his car and walked over, standing behind Peter and bent down to rub his back without saying anything. 

Peter turned to see who was touching him, sobbing out loud when he saw it was his dad so Tony stood up, lifting Peter up with him and looking at Pepper, both sharing a look of defeat. 

Peter calmed down a bit once he was in his fathers arms, sadly hiccuping. 

“Should I take him?” He asked Pepper, feeling so defeated. All Peter wanted was him. 

She sighed, leaning against the car. “Then we’re teaching him to cry to get what he wants.” 

Tony took a step forward and Peter clung on impossibly tighter, probably thinking he was leaving him again. 

“We can let Harley take Morgan to school in my car then we both go to Karen’s appointment together then meet back at the tower.” Tony suggested. Anything to get Peter to not cry so hard he vomits again. 

“No. Let’s just… once he’s calmed down, put him in the car and I’ll take him to the appointment.” 

“Pepper-” 

“No. I know he’ll cry but you need to work with Harley. You promised two weeks ago.” 

That was true. Tony kissed Peter’s cheek and walked towards the car. He tried to put Peter in but Peter struggled against him, kicking in his arms to not be placed back into the car seat. 

“Peter, I promise I’ll see you soon.” 

“Nooooooaaaaaaaa!” 

Tony held his arms together, putting him into the car seat but Peter jerked so hard that he smacked his head on the seat of the car seat, crying harder now. 

“Peter. You need to calm down and breathe. Can you do that?” 

Peter looked at him, pleading. “Daddy. Don-don’ leave me. Daddy. Don’, I-I…” He broke off into sobs, rubbing his hand over his face and crying impossibly harder so Tony lifted him back into his arms, turning to face Pepper. 

“I can’t leave him like this. And someone is going to call the fucking cops on us. It looks like we’re trying to kidnap him or something.” He was freaking out. Peter’s cries and begging was sending him into a panic attack. 

Pepper seemed to notice that. “Okay. Okay.” She reached into the van to grab Morgan’s backpack. “Morgan, honey, Harley is going to drive you to school in dads car and I’ll pick you up at the end of the day, alright.” 

Morgan looked both sad and annoyed. “Why did Petey vomit?” 

“Well… he’s having a really hard time leaving dad right now so dads going to come with us to the appointment.” 

Morgan sighed but got out of the van, taking her backpack from her mom. 

Tony walked back to his car. “Harley, I’m really sorry,” Harley sighed already and Tony felt like an ass hole. “I need to go with Peter, he’s having a really hard time so can you drive your sister to school in my car, then drive to the tower and hang out. I’ll be there in about two hours.” 

“Can I work in your lab?” 

“No. When I get there, we can go down there together.” He handed his son the keys and patted his back. “I’m sorry, buddy.” 

“It’s fine. I’m used to it.” 

That hurt. Tony picked Peter over his other kids and he tried not to but Peter needed him. It wasn’t like he had a choice. 

Pepper got the car seat into the tightly fitted back seat, hitting her head a few times. She would have said something witty about the small car but she wasn’t in the mood at the moment. “Thank you, Harley. Text me when you dropped her off and when you get to the tower. Please don’t speed on the highway.” 

“No problem, mom.” 

Tony watched them leave and walked back to the van, picking up the thrown bottle and sandals. He went to place Peter in his car seat again but Peter began crying, holding onto him. “I’m not leaving you. I’m coming with you now but you still need to sit in your car seat.” 

Peter reluctantly let go. 

He let his dad buckle him in and screamed when the back door was shut in his face, blocking him from his dad. He was tricked. 

He continued sobbing until his dad got into the other seat, sitting in what was usually Morgan’s seat now that the car seat was gone. 

Peter stopped crying immediately, his mouth still open as he looked at Tony, trying to decide if he was staying. 

When the car started and Pepper drove off, Peter reached his hand out, wanting to hold onto his fathers hand and tried to stop crying but still released a few sobs every now and then. 

Tony rubbed his thumb over Peter’s soft, somewhat still chubby hand, hoping that helped to calm him down. To calm them both down. 

Once they arrived, Tony unbuckled Peter from inside the van but when Peter moved to get up, Tony stopped him. “Wait. What you did at the red lights, unbuckling yourself from your car seat, was incredibly dangerous and very naughty. What if mom had to slam on the brakes or a car hit you? If you do that again, you will never go in the car again. Do you understand that?” 

Peter clearly understood because he began another crying fit, reaching out for his dad to pull him into his arms and carry him inside the building. 

“I’m sorry, daddy!” He sobbed into Tony’s ear loudly. 

Tony just patted his butt, swinging the bag over his shoulder and pressing the button for Karen’s floor. He sighed, looking at Pepper who was already looking at him. “Should I talk to Karen first?” 

“I don’t think he’s going to let you leave his side… so I’m thinking you’ll be sitting in on this meeting with them.” The doors opened and Pepper walked out first. Since they were fifteen minutes late, she knocked on the door. “I’ll talk to her privately first. Just wait over there.” 

Tony nodded. It was for the better. 

Pepper walked in, apologizing once again for being late. “We’re really struggling with him. His attachment to Tony is… scary. And it’s getting worse. Tony started seeing a therapist. He’s only had one meeting so far but it went well. I’m glad he’s getting the help. But Peter… I don’t know, he seems to be getting worse. More… possessive over his father, wanting him around at all times, getting angry when he even leaves the room.” 

Karen nodded, taking a few notes down. “How is the potty training going?” 

“Awful. He’s pooping in his diaper, won’t sit on the toilet without making a big deal about it. He had diarrhea last night a few times, Tony had to wake up to change him. So, yeah.” 

“Has he been pooping in diapers before? Or is this recent?” 

“He’s had poop accidents before… but this is… recent. I think. I’ll have to ask Tony.” She sighed. They sounded like awful parents. 

“It’s not surprising that Peter is having these kinds of accidents. Steve kidnapped him, there’s some stuff he may not have even processed yet from the first time, then, slowly, he healed, only to get kidnapped again. Peter is having a hard time accepting that Steve is dead. I think part of him is still waiting for Steve to come back and take him again. Losing control of his bladder and bowels isn’t all that surprising. It's a textbook case for childhood trauma.” 

Pepper did feel a bit better. But just a bit. “So… Tony and I shouldn’t be that worried?” 

Karen’s facial expressions remained neutral. “Yes and no. Don’t be too worried because this is expected with Peter. Now, if Morgan were to start doing this, that would be very concerning. But Peter, he’s been through a lot in his short life. Talk to him about where he should be going to the bathroom. Get him a book if it helps, I can send you some resources to help too. One of my close friends and colleagues helps children with behavioral issues and so if you want, I can set you up with her to help you guys potty train Peter.” 

“I’ve already spoken to Tony about getting help. He doesn’t agree with other people potty training his son.” Pepper waved her hand out, showing she didn’t agree with him. 

“That’s understandable. Can I give you her contact information anyways? She is amazing at working with children and families. She doesn’t even have to actively do it, she can just be there for support, or just give you over the phone advice and support.” 

Pepper took the card from her. “Thank you. We’re going to have to think about this.” She hoped Tony saw that they needed this. “When should we be worried? That he’s not potty trained yet.” 

“It’s hard to say. Is he showing any interest at all?” 

Pepper thought back to how well it was going in the beginning. Then something changed. “That’s harder to answer than it should be. He’s very… open to the idea. But when we actually try, he fights with us.” 

“Okay. He sounds scared… I will bring it up today during our meeting. Is there anything else I should know?” 

“Tony will be joining in. Peter will not let go of him anytime soon.” She stood up. “Thank you. I’ll talk to you in one hour.” Leaving the room, Pepper walked down the hallway where Tony was standing by a window and showing Peter birds that made a nest by it. She caressed Peter’s soft cheek, thankfully he wasn’t crying anymore. “Karen’s ready for you.” She cooed at her son. “He looks ready to pass out any second.” 

“I know.” He squeezed her hand and left. 

Inside the office, Tony sat down on the chair, leaning forward to shake his hand with her. “He had a really rough morning. And night.” 

“Pepper told me. Hello, Peter, are you feeling sad today?” 

Peter nodded, wrapping his arms around his dad’s neck. 

“Did something happen to make you feel this way? Or did you just wake up feeling grumpy?” Karen asked, not getting a response. “Sometimes I wake up feeling a bit grumpy.” 

Peter turned on his dads lap, sitting sideways. “Dad made me cry.” 

Tony knew he was the reason for Peter feeling this way now but he didn’t know for sure if Peter saw it that way or not. Now that he knew he did, his heart broke again. 

“Why’s that?” 

Peter pulled his thumb from his mouth. “Cause-cause he ran away from me.” 

“Did he tell you first that he had to go to work?” 

Peter shrugged then shook his head. “No.” 

“Uh Uh. I told you last night. I explained to you that I had to leave you for a few hours to go to work, Peter.” He explained, pulling the front of Peter’s shirt down. 

“No. You didn’t. You said-you said that after.” 

“After what?” Tony asked. 

“Just… after.” He stuck his thumb back into his mouth and wrapped his arms around Tony’s neck again. “I wanna go home.” 

Tony patted his back, leaning his head against him. Peter hadn’t been wanting to come to his therapy sessions lately and so it wasn’t helping him when he did go. 

“Why?” 

“I’m tired.” 

If he was admitting that he was tired, he must be exhausted. Tony sighed, looking to Karen for help but she didn’t say anything so Tony kissed Peter’s cheek and shifted him a bit more on his lap so he was cradled on his side instead of lying with their chests pressed together. 

“After you talk to Karen, you can go home with mom and take a nap.” 

“Nooo. With you.” 

“I still have to go to work, bubs. I have a meeting today.” He told him softly. 

“No you don’t.” Peter sat up a bit. “Just… come home with me. Okay?” 

“Peter, can you tell me why you don’t want to go home with your mom?” 

Peter grabbed onto Tony’s hand, playing with his wedding ring on his finger. “Cause-cause, um, cause daddy go ‘way when ‘dare.” He explained, mumbling so much that Tony could barely understand him. 

“Because why?” 

Peter started rubbing his watery eyes with a closed fist. “Cause… daddy’s not at home if he’s at work.” 

That made sense, Tony tried not to roll his eyes. It was like saying the ice melts when left out in the sun. Obviously. But he knew Peter was trying. 

“Sometimes mommies and daddies have to go to work. That’s how they pay for your home and your food and your toys.” 

“Then I’ll sell all my toys.” 

“Why would you want to do that?” 

“Cause… cause then my dad will stay at home. With me. Always.” 

Tony decided to say something. “But what happens when you start school, buddy? You’ll go to school again and I’ll go to work.” 

The thought of going back to school scared Peter. He missed his friends but he knew he would miss his dad more. He wrapped his arms around his neck and stuck his thumb in his mouth, too tired to talk. 

The session continued for the remainder of the hour but not much was said. At the end of it, Tony thanked Karen and apologized for Peter’s lack of participation and blamed it on him being tired from the tantrum. 

Karen reassured Tony that those outbursts take a lot of energy out of children but to still take it easy with Peter. 

Reminding Tony to keep up with the potty training and to put Peter in pull-ups rather than diapers, made Tony feel like a bad dad but he agreed and left, having little intention of actually doing that unless Peter wanted it. 

He carried the bag to their van, watching Peter walk a few feet ahead of them, heading down to the lobby. 

“So do you want me to stop by Target on our way home to get more pull-ups then?” 

“It’s fine. We have a box at home that hasn’t even been opened yet.” He took the keys out of his pocket to unlock the van. 

“And about five boxes of diapers. What are we going to do with so many diapers?” She told Tony who was too tired to hear about that right now. 

“He still uses them at night. It’s fine. We always need to go and buy more anyway.” Tony opened up the side door so Peter could get in and once he hopped into his car seat, Tony began buckling him up. “You look tired.” 

“Are-are you driving in here?” 

“I’m going to drive to work.” He told him, reaching for the pacifier on the floor and wiping it off on his pants. “Do you want this?” 

Opening his mouth, Tony put it in. 

“But… you still hon’ stay wif’ me?” 

“Yes, baby. I am.” Tony shut the door and walked around to the other side, looking at Pepper changing her shoes. “I’ll drive. Are you taking him home right after?” 

“I don’t know. I want to take him to Target to get a few things but I don’t think he’ll come willingly. We’ll see.” 

Tony felt bad for him. “Let’s see if he’s calmed down enough by time we get to the tower.” He opened up the door, putting the diaper bag into the car and shutting it. “Who knows, maybe he’ll-” Tony was cut off by Pepper. 

“What the fuck. Who is that?” 

Tony followed Pepper's eyes, turning around and seeing someone opening up the vans side door that Peter was on. His heart beating faster, Tony walked around the van, raising his arms in a shrugging motion and approaching the man. “What the hell do you think you’re doing?” 

The man stopped to look at Tony then back at Peter. “Oh. Is this my car?” 

Tony grabbed the man’s arm, pulling him away from the open door that Peter was on, whining uncomfortably. “No, man. My kids in the car. How can this be yours?” 

The man looked confused. “Okay.” 

“How about you go inside and talk to the receptionist? She can help you.” Tony stood with his back to Peter, keeping himself between this man and his son. 

Without saying anything, the man turned around and walked towards the building but stopped in front of it, sitting on the bench. What the fuck. He turned back to Peter, putting a hand on his thigh. “Are you okay?” 

Nodding, Peter pointed, silently asking Tony who that was without having to remove his pacifier. 

“He’s gone now. It’s okay. Let’s go.” He shut the door once more and got into the driver's seat, starting the van and driving away. 

Pepper made a comment about how they aren’t even safe in their own car but Tony doesn’t want to talk about it. Why did stuff like this always happen to them? It makes it extremely hard to trust anyone or anything around them. 

Trying to forget about it, Tony turns on some music, looking in the rearview mirror every so often as he watches Peter drift off to sleep. 

After fifteen minutes into their car ride, Peter is in fact fast asleep, his head bowed and the pacifier in his mouth but not moving. 

When they eventually arrive at Stark tower, Tony parks underground in his workshop and shut the van off. “Do you want to take him home?” He asked Pepper, unbuckling his seatbelt and getting out of the van to put his suit jacket on. 

“Is he fast asleep?” 

Tony opened up the back door, checking his breathing. It was steady so he was likely in a deep sleep. Also his pacifier wasn’t bobbing up and down so he wasn’t sucking on it. “Seems like it.” 

“Well… I don’t know because I’d have to wake him up anyways when we got home. And then he’ll want you.” 

Tony was fine with them staying here. That way he could hang out with Peter between meetings. “Alright. Stay here then. I’ll carry him to your office and he can sleep there for a bit, eat some lunch, then I’ll probably be done by the time it’s time to pick up Morgan from school.” 

Not wanting to risk the alternative, Pepper agreed. 

“Alright. Good thing I packed him a lunch.” 

Tony unbuckled Peter from his car seat, silently begging him to stay asleep. He got his jello like arms out of the straps and lifted him up, moving him around so he could stay asleep but he heard something fall on the floor and cursed when he saw it was the pacifier. 

“Pepper.” He whispered, picking it up and wiping it off. “Quickly put it back in his mouth. He’s not waking up right now.” He walked around the car to her since Peter’s head was on his shoulder and facing the other way. 

Gently, she pushed it past his lips, waiting for him to latch back on then let go. “He’s good. Let’s go up. Text Harley and see if he’s in your lab.” 

In the elevator ride up, Tony pulled his phone out of his pocket to let his oldest son know he was there. “No. He wanted to but I told him he had to wait.” 

“You know you’ll have to let him work down there without your supervision soon.” 

“No I won’t. He’s twenty. You’d think I’d actually let him down there alone. There’s explosives down there.” 

“But he’s not like Peter. He won’t touch everything and get into something he isn’t supposed to.” Pepper insisted but she couldn’t change Tony’s mind. 

“Maybe. But he’s still not mature enough, he still has a lot to learn about taking responsibility for his actions and growing up.” 

It was then that Peter whined and lifted his head up, looking at Tony. Tony held his breath, not daring to say anything. Then, a second later, Peter laid his head back down, sighing contently. 

Pepper and Tony both let out a sigh of relief. That was close. 

The elevator doors opened and Pepper laughed. “He always does that. Looking to see who’s holding him as if it’ll be someone random.” 

Tony thought it was cute. “What do you think he would do if it wasn’t me?” 

“Start panicking. Scream. Then cry for you.” She walked out, smiling at her personal assistant at the front desk then typed in her password and held the door open for them. “You don’t have a shadow, Tony. You’ve got another body part just walking around.” 

Sometimes it felt like that.