The First Time
Marc, Layla, Jake, and Steven all eyed each other.
They looked at 8 month old Albus Severus Babe Ruth Hamilton Howard Carter, and then at Khonshu.
Back at Albus Severus Babe Ruth Hamilton Howard Carter, who they nicknamed, Indy….for reasons, and back to Khonshu.
Marc held the bridge of his nose, “This is a terrible idea, agreed?”
“Oh yes.”
“Definitely.”
“No shit.”
“But,” Steven chimed in, “Taweret is busy with International Women’s Day, and Hathor did ask us nicely for help.”
Marc looked to Jake and Layla for support in this.
Jake rolled his eyes, “The last time we got a ‘normal’ babysitter for the kid and the babysitter charged us for therapy. For three months.”
Layla grimaced, “We’re short on time, and it should only take three hours.” She sighed, “I am not trying to jinx us by saying this, but the worse thing Khonshu could honestly do to him is bore him with his boasting.”
Marc took a deep breath and let it out in reassurance to himself more than anything, “He really can’t hurt him. He just needs to make sure he is watched over, fed, and changed if necessary. That’s all.”
Jake snorted, “I almost wish we didn’t have to go to see bag of bones there change a diaper.”
Everyone chuckled, thinking of the prideful god having to do something…so domestic.
Layla’s phone went off. She checked it, “Okay that is Hathor, we need to go now.”
She Looked at Khonshu, “You will watch him. Feed him. Change him. That is all. Nothing else. If not,” she pauses, “you will answer to Us and Taweret. Understood?”
Khonshu nodded, “Yes, yes, now go you fools, do not waste my time with your worries. The….nestling is safe with me.”
With that last…reassurance, they all kissed Indy goodbye, who giggled at the attention, and quickly dashed out the door.
The door slammed.
Khonshu looked at the….nestling.
Indy giggled and started to play with his hippo plushie.
Khonshu shrugged his shoulders.
What is the worse that could happen?
1 hour later:
Khonshu was bored.
Nestling’s at this age….were not the dullest creatures, but they weren’t exactly conversationists.
He watched Indy, who was playing with a ball on the floor and noticed the child’s hair keep falling into his face.
His Avatar’s and the Avatar of Taweret really needed to take better care of their nestling.
It wasn’t like they were shorthanded or anything.
Surely one of them could cut an infant’s hair?
Then Khonshu Had an Idea.
He remembered how the nestling’s hair during his glory days looked.
He gazed speculatively over the child.
Yes, it could work.
1 hours later (2 hours passed since Khonshu was left unsupervised)
Putting the scissors down, Khonshu admired his handiwork.
Yes, the child looked much better this way.
1 hour later (3 hours passed)
Steven, Layla, Jake, and Marc stumbled in.
Steven sighed, “Well we did make it back in three hours.”
Marc groaned, “That was not an easy little task.”
Layla, eyes half closed, “I’m pretty sure the last time I was this exhausted was after giving birth.”
Jake fell to the ground and instantly fell asleep in the entryway.
The others left him there.
Steven rubbed his eyes, “I’ll go check on Indy, after that I’m sleeping for a week.”
Layla blearily muttered, “Comin with. Need to make sure Khonshu didn’t do anything.”
Marc yawned, “K, let me know if you two need anything. If not then I’m fainting.”
They split at the bedrooms, Marc heading to his/their shared room while Layla and Steven went to Indy’s.
Marc was about to keel over in bed when he heard Steven and Layla at the same time, “KHONSHU I AM GOING TO KILL YOU-YOU SCRAWNY ASS BLOODY PIGEON!”
Marc, now wide awake, ran straight to Indy’s room, thinking the worst. Please-please-please nononono---
And stopped when he burst into Indy’s room.
Steven was cradling Indy in his arms while both him and Layla were looking him over.
But that wasn’t what stopped Marc.
He’d admit that Indy’s hair probably needed a trim, but honestly it was pretty low on the list of priorities lately.
Except Indy didn’t need a trim now apparently.
Because his hair was gone.
As in none left.
Bald as an egg.
If Marc squinted, he denies the use of glasses that’s Steven’s thing thank you, he could see the barest of shave marks. Barely.
Marc gaped.
How in the world--?! Then he realized why Layla and Steven were yelling.
He bellowed, “KHONSHU GET YOUR BONEY ASS HERE, NOW!”
Marc isn’t sure if Khonshu was more scared to show his face to Layla and Steven or if it took three irate parents to finally convince him to show, but he finally appeared.
Layla fumed, “Explain Yourself. Now.”
Khonshu for once look…intimidated, “The nestling was hot.”
Steven growled, “And you thought the best idea was to Shave Him Bald?!”
Khonshu attempted to regain his pride, “It is what nestlings during the times of the pharaohs did. They went bald until they were old enough to self-regulate their temperature. It kept them from overheating.”
Marc suddenly had a headache, again, “So instead of cooling him down with a fan or taking his shirt off, you decided to shave him. Without asking us.”
Khonshu glared at them, “I do not need to explain myself any further. He is happy and cooled down. I do not see a problem.”
Steven had Enough, “DON’T SEE A---” He passed Indy to Layla and threw his hands in the air, too angry and exhausted to argue further.
Layla, now holding Indy, glowered at Khonshu, “If you Ever. EVER. Touch a hair on his head without our approval. I WILL FIND A WAY TO GRIND YOUR BEAK TO DUST! Do You Understand?”
Jake, who had seemingly woke up from his nap and silently come up the stairs, growled for effect, lip curled up, showing a nice set of canines.
Steven had his hands on his hips Glaring.
Marc Bared his Teeth, Snarling.
Khonshu seeing this, audibly gulped. While he hypothetically knew he was safe, he wasn’t quite so sure seeing the four Irate Avatars.
He nodded and bowed his head to Layla, “Indeed, I understand.”
He vanished before more could be said.
Thankfully taking the palpable anger out of the room with him.
Everyone relaxed.
Jake padded into the room and sniffed Indy, who yawned, waking up after his parents screamed at an ancient Egyptian deity.
Jake shifted back to human, and sighed, “Well it could be worse.”
The rest of them looked at him incredulously, Marc finally asked, “How?”
Jake shrugged, “At least his hair will grow back. Kind of worried that Khonshu made his hair vanish permanently, ya know? Besides, he did need a trim, now we don’t have to worry for a while.”
Steven rubbed his hand over his face, “Love, he is bald. How is he going to go out like this?”
Jake turned and grabbed something off a shelf, and put it on Indy’s head, it was a smaller version of Jake’s cap.
Jake nodded, “There, problem solved.”
Marc hated to admit it, but Indy looked utterly adorable in it.
Layla huffed a laugh while Steven spluttered, “That-that is not a solution! What if--?!”
Layla, now extremely tired, interrupts him, “Steven he’s safe, he’s healthy, and appears pretty happy with the hat. Let’s go to bed and then we’ll find him a bunch of cute hats for the meantime. Okay?”
Steven slumped, “Okay, okay.” He kissed Indy on the head, “Don’t worry love, we’ll fix this in the morning.” Steven then went and stumbled off to bed.
Jake was next, whispering something indiscernible in Spanish, then in English saying, “Knew you would look great in that.” Kissed him on the head, “See ya in the morning kid.”
Leaving Layla and Marc alone with Indy, an actual rarity these days.
Marc came up next and got a closer look. Indy giggled, babbling something, and reached out to him, Marc gave him his fingers.
He gripped onto Marc’s fingers and Marc melted. He chuckled and kissed Indy on the forehead, “You are supposed to give us heart attacks when you’re older. Not before you hit a year.”
Marc looked up at Layla, the love he felt in his eyes reciprocated in hers.
She tiredly smiled at him and leaned down, kissing Marc, “You are an amazing Dad Marc.”
He returned the kiss, “If I’m amazing then you are out of this world incredible.”
Layla smiled and sighed, gazing down at Indy, who appeared to be falling asleep. Marc hugged them both and they rested their heads together watching him slowly drift off.
Layla kissed him on the forehead, “Night habibi.” Then she whispered further, “I’ll make sure to reign in Papi and Papa from starting a hat war.”
Marc quietly laughed, clearly picturing the two starting one. When Layla shifted to move Indy to his crib, Marc paused her, “Here, I got him. You go get some sleep.” Layla, too tired to argue, nodded thankfully and gave him a peck on the lips before leaving.
Marc, gave Indy one more kiss and gently put him back in his crib.
He carefully removed the hat and placed it on the dresser.
He did not want to hear Steven squawk in the morning about how flat caps being a sleeping hazard.
With that he softly padded out of the room, turned off the light, and joined his loves in his bed.
Asleep at last.