Chapter 1
new chat --- 6:37 A.M.
peter created a new chat!
peter: smells like a new car in here 😎
peter added Tony Stark to new chat!
peter: mr starkkkkkkk
Tony Stark: Whaaaaaat?
peter: can u prettyyyy pleaseeee add the avengers to this chatttt
Tony Stark: And why would I do that?
peter: bc this is an AVENGERS groupchat mr stark
Tony Stark: What's in it for me?
peter: ill try not to get shot
Tony Stark: Deal.
peter: 😎
peter renamed new chat to avengers or whatever!
Tony Stark added James Rhodes and pepper!! to avengers or whatever!
James Rhodes: please god no
pepper!!: jesus christ
peter: hi ms potts!! hi mr james rhodes sir!!!!
James Rhodes: kid its just rhodey
pepper!!: hi peter!!!!
peter: ok mr rhodey
James Rhodes: sigh
Tony Stark: Who in the hell sighs over text?
James Rhodes: me
peter: he has u there mr stark
Tony Stark: Shut up, Child.
peter: gasps in offended
peter: mr STARK
peter: also continue adding avengers pls :((
Tony Stark added Nat, clint, scott<33, and multiple others to avengers or whatever!
peter: PAPA SCOTT
scott<33: MY SON
clint: *wipes a tear* scott and his kid are finally together again.. also hi everyone
Nat: Fuck off
peter: PAPA SCOTT IVE MISSED YOU!!!!
scott<33: DITTO!!!
Tony Stark: What the fuck?
peter: ah yes hi mr stark i adopted scott as my dad bc were bug bros
Tony Stark: You can't adopt someone as your dad?
scott<33: youve never been adopted by a teenager as a grown man and it shows
Tony Stark: ..What the fuck
bucky: its britney bitch
clint: WHAT THE FUCK LMAOAOAO
peter: AHAHAHHAHAHAH
bucky: *flips my luscious hair and does the runway walk* yuh
Steve: Bucky, we talked about this.. This is not how you start conversations.
bucky: but it got people talking didnt it STEVEN
Steve: *Sigh*
peter: this just in, mr captain america steven rogers uses asteriks because he is a weird old man
Steve: What?! Bucky's older than me!
bucky: shut up steven
clint: yeah shut up steven
Tony Stark: Don't rain on his parade Steven
peter: yeah !!!
BruceBanner: what is going on?
James Rhodes: scott and peter reunite, nat says "fuck you", buckys the gayest little shit i know, and steve is an old dinosaur
BruceBanner: thanks, i guess
James Rhodes: youre welcome
clint: GASP
clint: RHODEY
peter: MR RHODEY UR A LURKING LURKER WHO LURKS
James Rhodes: someone has to do it
peter: fair fair
Tony Stark: Where's Thor?
Nat: Up your ass and around the corner
peter: omg hi ms natasha!!!!
Nat: Hey kiddo
clint: hi nat!!!
Nat: Die
clint: fair
peter: mr staaaaaaarkkkkk
peter: come pick me uuuuppppppp
Tony Stark: Why?
peter: lol some guy stabbed me
peter: its ok tho cuz the knife handle was purple
Tony Stark: WHAT THE FUCK
peter: I SAID IT WAS OKAY
Tony Stark: ITS NOT OKAY
peter: oh
peter: well ANYWAYS
peter: COME FIND ME
scott<33: no my son 😟
peter: im sorry papa 😔😔😔
scott<33: its ok i still love u
peter: thank u papa
bucky: wtf no peter dont get stabbed without me
peter: IM SO SORRY MR BUCKY I DIDNT MEAN TO
bucky: 😔 i thought u were bro
peter: NOOOOOO
bucky: turns out ur just fam 😔✊
peter: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO IM SORRY
Steve: What the fuck?
James Rhodes: dont ask steve
James Rhodes: you dont wanna know.
pepper!!: top ten anime betrayals
peter: PEPPER???
pepper!!: lmao
Tony Stark: What the fuck
clint: SSKSKKSKS
bucky: m a a m u cannot l a y this on my old man heart
Steve: Someone screenshot this, he's admitted it!
samwilson: no fuck you
samwilson: also hello guys
bucky: go back to sleep
bucky: AND STARVE.
samwilson: jesus fucking christ
samwilson: someone control ur dog
peter: it don bite
samwilson: YES IT FUCKIN DO HAVE YOU SEEN HIM
bucky: i dont bite peter because he
BruceBanner: he what?
scott<33: he
Steve: He what?
Tony Stark: he
James Rhodes: he what?!?!?
bucky: OH MY FUCKING GOD CAN YOU GUYS NOT READ
bucky: he
peter: awww tysm 💞💞💞💞
peter: that means a lot 2 me :DDD
scott<33: do you guys see what we mean?
scott<33: LOOK AT HIM
bucky: he
scott<33: he
peter: anyway im not stabbed anymore
peter: *m a g i c*
clint: can u make me a balloon animal
peter: no ask mr dr strange if he can tho
peter: i dont have his skills 😔👎
clint: @stephenstrange
stephenstrange: what
clint: can u make me a balloon animal
stephenstrange: die
Tony Stark: And I think that's our cue to go to bed!
peter: its 9
clint: yeah dad its 9
scott<33: pleeeaseee dad can we stay up a little longer
peter: pleeeeeeeeeeaaaaaseeeee
bucky: its night time
bucky: *turns into a raccoon*
bucky: im like a werewolf but raccoon
Tony Stark: *softly* what the fuck
Nat: You heard him
Tony Stark: Yes ma'am
Nat: Good
bucky: *does my lil raccoon dance*
Steve: BUCKY WHAT THE HELL
bucky: shut up steven
bucky: i do what i want
peter: gasp ur so cool
bucky: i know
scott<33: will u teach us the way of the raccoon
bucky: no u r too baby
scott<33: awwwweee
peter: awwwweee
pepper: everyone log off rn or get up and talk to each other like normal people youre all weird
peter: ok bye!! i love my bed more than i love u guys <33
scott<33: BYE SON I LOV U
peter: BYE PAPA SCOTT
bucky: i am going to steal someones trash and eat it
bucky: cannibalism
Steve: I guess I'm stuck with making sure Bucky doesn't actually do that.
Nat: fuck off everyone except the select few
Nat: You know who you are
clint: am i apart of the select few :D
Nat: No
clint: FUCK
Nat: Lol
clint: vent gremlin time
clint: MUAHAHAHAHHAHAHA
clint: owe why would u slap me nat
Nat: This is why Laura makes us take care of you
BruceBanner: this chat.. is something.
samwilson: i just saw bucky run outside and steve go "BUCKY NO BUCKY YOURE NOT A RACCOON"
samwilson: what the fuck
stephenstrange: i am unable to leave this chat and that makes me angry
Tony Stark: Deal with it.
clint: insert Tony Stark wearing sunglasses
pepper!!: go offline.
clint: SORRY MOM BYE
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Steve: Bucky is a raccoon.
bucky: awwww tsym for admitting it
Steve: NO HE TYPED THAT FROM MY PHONE HE'S NOT A RACCOON DON'T BELIEVE HIM!
pepper!!: boys.
bucky: im sorry maam it was for the good of the people
Steve: Sorry ma'am.
pepper!!: go to bed you weirdos
bucky: i am nocturnal
pepper!!: BUCKY
bucky: GOING TO BED BYE
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