yelena- ohio
Memories start to form around the age of two. Some don’t remember anything before the age of five.
Yelena remembers nothing before the age of three. Her earliest memory is standing in a crib in her bedroom, much too big for the small bed. She could easily climb over the bars but was too scared to do so in the dark.
But one night she was hungry. So hungry that her tummy hurt and she couldn’t sleep. She wasn’t sleepy, she was hungry.
And it’s dark but she’d much rather brave the dark than stand here hungry.
So she grabs her favorite blankie and drops it over the edge of the bars before using the grips on the bottom of her footie pajamas to scale the bars and drop over onto the ground. She scoops her blankie up and tucks it under her arm as she reaches up toward the doorknob. She’s not quite tall enough, her fingertips just barely graze the bottom of it. She needs to be taller.
Her eyes fall onto her box of blocks tucked against the wall. She moves toward it and sticks her fingers into the handle to try and tug it. It’s heavy and Yelena struggles to move it. She has to set her blankie on top of the box as she pulls with all her might until the box is in front of the door. She then places her hands onto the box and leans forward to scoot up onto her tummy and then climb to her feet until she’s standing on the box. She reaches out and grabs the doorknob, twisting it and pushing the door open. She slides off the box and grabs her blankie before stepping out into the dark hallway.
Her mama and daddy’s room is just across the hall. It’s dark but Yelena’s a big girl. She can be brave. She holds her blankie just a little tighter as she moves across the hall quickly. She trips over her blankie, tumbling to the floor. She scrambles to her feet and to the door. “Mama!” She reaches toward the doorknob but she’s still too small. She gives small jumps but when she touches the doorknob, it won’t turn. “Mama!”
It’s quiet and Yelena frowns. Her tummy is empty and it hurts. But she’s a big girl. She can get food all by herself.
She approaches the stairs but it’s still very dark. She can’t see the steps. So she sits on the top step and rolls onto her tummy so she can slowly start to slide down one step at a time.
She reaches the bottom of the stairs. It’s not quite so dark down here. The moon shines through the windows and lights up a path for Yelena. She drags her blankie behind her as she moves toward the kitchen.
Yelena approaches the fridge and grabs the handle but she can’t move the door. She tries all different ways until she loops her blankie through the handle and pulls on it. The door opens and the kitchen floods with light.
She did it! “Thanks, blankie.” She whispers, tugging her blankie free as she shuffles around the door to look up into the fridge.
The first thing she can reach is the drawer full of cheese. She tugs it open and takes one of the cheese sticks from inside. But she can’t find the opening in the wrapper. No matter how hard she fumbles with it she can’t find the opening.
She gets so mad that she throws it hard across the room. She’s hungry! Her tummy hurts, why can’t she make it better on her own?
Yelena tugs out the bottom drawer to step on so she can reach higher up. She’s in the process of tugging the next drawer up to step on it when she’s suddenly scooped up and away from the food. “No!” She squirms in frustration, tears welling up in her eyes.
“What are you doing?” Yelena realizes that it’s just her big sister as Nattie sets her down on the ground.
“My tummy hurts,” Yelena tells her, pointing to the fridge. “I’m hungry, Nattie.”
“Mom fed you earlier,” Nattie replies, pushing the drawers in. “You should be in bed.” Nattie has her grumpy face on as she closes the fridge.
“No!” Yelena immediately tries to tug the fridge back open. “No! Stop! Open it!” She demands, tears rolling down her cheeks. “Nattie!”
“That’s enough,” Nattie says sharply and her voice scares Yelena. She tries to stop crying but her lower lip wobbles as her tummy yells at her to tell her how hungry she was.
Nattie’s brow draws together at the noise. “You shouldn’t be hungry. Mom fed you earlier.” She says.
“No,” Yelena shakes her head. “Hungry!” She points at the fridge again. “Please!”
“What do you mean no?” Nattie questioned with a frown. She’s not opening the fridge but her hand is still on the handle.
“Dinner was yucky. Too hot for my mouth. It hurted my tongue,” Yelena tries to explain. Mama said that she could eat that or nothing. But now her tummy hurts and she’d even eat dinner from last night just to make it quiet again.
Nattie is quiet again so Yelena moves forward to wrap her arms around her leg. “Please…” Yelena just wants her tummy to be quiet. “I’m hungry, Nattie.”
Nattie lets out a deep sigh. “Okay. Fine. What do you want to eat?”
Yelena perks up. “Pe-nut butter and jam sammich.” She begs before remembering her manners. “Please.”
Nattie tugs the fridge open and Yelena scoops her blankie back up to watch as Nattie grabs the jar of jam from the top shelf.
Yelena follows her big sister around the kitchen. Nattie turned on one of the lights so that they could see. Yelena grabs onto Nattie’s pant leg as she makes the sandwich, trying to raise up on her tiptoes to see her work but she’s still much too tiny.
Nattie finally holds out a plate toward her and Yelena frowns at the sandwich. “You forgot!” She exclaims.
“Forgot what?” Nattie lets out a long sigh, looking annoyed.
“To cut it!” Yelena mimics a cutting motion with her hand to show her. “Just like mama does.”
Nattie looks up to the ceiling with a huff before she takes the plate back and takes a knife to cut the sandwich.
She cuts it wrong. Yelena likes squares, not triangles. Triangles taste funny, squares are so much better.
But Yelena’s tummy hurts and she’s so hungry so she grabs one of the triangles. “Thank you--” She barely manages to get out before pushing most of it into her mouth. She peers up at Nattie and points at the fridge. “Milk?”
Nattie fills up one of her sippy cups with milk and it helps wash all the peanut butter down.
Yelena’s fingers are sticky with peanut butter and jam when she finishes. She even licks at her fingers but they’re still uncomfortably sticky. Nattie watches her eat the whole time, her arms folded as she leans against the counter. When Yelena finishes, she holds the empty plate up to her big sister. “All done!” She declares.
“Ugh, I should have given you something that would make less of a mess,” Nattie murmurs as she sets the dishes in the sink. Yelena doesn’t expect her big sister to pick her up and sit her on the counter. She’s very high up and feels like she might fall.
Nattie wets down a paper towel and then grabs Yelena’s chin. Yelena squirms when the wet towel touches her face because it gets in her mouth and it’s gross.
“Sit still!” Nattie snaps at her and Yelena tries but Nattie is too rough and the paper towel is uncomfortable on her skin. Nattie then grabs her wrist to clean her hands and fingers. When she finishes, she hoists Yelena up into her arms and starts to leave the kitchen.
“Wait!” Yelena cries out, wiggling in her hold. “Blankie!”
Nattie paused, turning around and snagging the blankie from the floor, shoving it into Yelena’s arms.
Yelena’s tummy is better now. Now she’s sleepy. Her big sister is warm and although her arms hold her all wrong, Yelena doesn’t care. She wraps her arms around Nattie’s neck and rests her cheek on her shoulder. Nattie goes stiff when Yelena does it but she doesn’t yell at her not to.
Nattie sets her back down in her crib and peers down at her for a few moments. Yelena knows that she’s supposed to settle down to sleep so she does, laying back down and tugging her blankie up over herself the best she can. “Night-night, Nattie.” She says.
Nattie gives her a nod. “Right. Goodnight.” She moves toward the door, moving the box of blocks back into place.
“I love you!” Yelena calls after her. Nattie pauses in the doorway and for a moment Yelena thought she was frozen. But then Nattie continues to walk, not saying a word as she closed the door after her.
Yelena rests her head back on her pillow. Nattie was a meanie a lot of the time. She didn’t like it when Yelena went into her room or tried to play with her. She got snappy and grumpy and always sent Yelena away.
But sometimes Nattie would help her. She’d help Yelena put on her shoes or zip up her jacket. And just like tonight, she made Yelena a yummy sandwich.
Mama and daddy aren’t always there. Sometimes they don’t want to be around Yelena either. But Nattie is always there and if Yelena asks nicely then she’ll help her.
Big sisters did things that parents don’t. That’s how it’s always been. When her mama and daddy were silly and forgot that it was lunchtime or bathtime then Nattie would help remind them when Yelena told her.
Nattie was the best big sister ever, Yelena knows it. Nobody else has a better big sister than her.