Not Alone
The dining hall was loud and bothersome again, as the students stuck in summer school filled in to get their portion. Elbows touching with pushing and shoving, Laura remained seated at one of the long tables with her head down. The smells of the food started to mix into the cologne of the male students who practically bathed in axe body spray. Alongside the chemically mixed perfumes sprayed on some of the more older girls.
It made her nose twitch as she tried to breathe through her sleeve. It was her favorite tonight, spaghetti and it was the one thing her Father could make, but she knew it wasn’t his. The sauce was different, and that’s why she pushed the plate farther away from her. It has been all day since she’s seen him, Laura sighed.
James sat down beside her luckily he smelled like dove soap and soft shampoo.
It made Laura smile as she looked up from her sleeve, “hi Jamie.”
He smiled back at her, “hi…” he looked at the pushed back plate, “not hungry?”
She shook her head, “I don’t think I could stomach it…the sauce tastes bad…”
Jamie quirked up his eyebrow, “who do you think made it this time?”
Laura smirked and closed her eyes, focusing on her breathing, especially her inhales as she took everything in, she tracked the scent of who was in the kitchen. That smelled of tomatoes, salt, and spiced beef. “I think…it was Hank.”
“Oof that explains it.” Jamie moved around the meatballs with his fork, “he likes to add things to the recipe…what do you think he added?”
Laura rubbed her temple, “oh gosh, do you really want to know?”
Jamie smiled smugly, “don’t leave me hanging.”
“He used marinara sauce…”
Jamie nodded, “that explains it.”
“Yea.” Laura added dryly as she tried to massage the headache pounding from her head.
“Do you want to eat somewhere quieter?”
“…I think I’m going to see if my dad can order us pizza.”
“Do you mean us, or you and him?”
Laura stood up and knocked Jamie’s shoulder, “I’ll save you a piece.”
“Please!”
Laura nodded and set out like she was on a mission. She dodged the insufferable teen boys that pushed one another, and laughed too loudly.
“Bobby, you really dating her?”
The blue iceman was chilling beside the door frame that Laura was trying to squeeze passed as she listened.
He threw up a snowball and repetitively caught it in his hands, “the southern girl” his smile went to his eyes as his cheeks flushed, “no I’m not dating her.”
Laura kept her ears sharp looking for any indication of resentment.
“Thought so, what’s the point of dating her when you can’t even touch her.” He laughed.
Laura snapped her head back in an instant, but Bobby threw the snowball at the boy hitting him square in the face, “if all you think about is touching someone, then maybe you shouldn’t be in a relationship.”
It made Laura smile as she continue on pushing Bobby out of the way so she can get past.
“Hey!”
“Watch it snowman.” Laura gave a small smile and a huff as she walked by him.
Laura felt her headache soften as she approached the staircase nuzzled a good distance away from the lunch room. Past the loud talking and the smells. She felt like she could finally breathe. Taking a huge inhale and exhale she ascended to the third floor, smelling her Father she ran faster.
She haltered when it hit her tongue salt. Like the ocean opened up and fell on her, she could taste the tears that had dried on her Father’s cheek, where he stood talking to Charles in the office.
So she kept still body stiff close to the wall on the staircase listening to every word.
“I think you need some rest, my friend this was a lot and-”
“Rest? How can I rest? Charles I have more questions now more then ever, I have to go see him.”
“It can be dangerous he’s unpredictable, every time he’s around you, you have gotten hurt. Please just stay and think about this.”
“How can I even think? What is there to think about, I ruined that girls life, I somehow had a good relationship with him out of all people and now look, how the fuck did that happen? I need some answers I can’t keep being left in the dark on my own fucking life, I’m tired. I just want answers and if that means I have to fight for it then I will.”
Charles sighed, “Logan, please just think this through….I don’t want to see you hurt again.”
Logan wiped his face, “yea…I know, I know.” He sighed, “I’ll wait to go until tomorrow.”
Charles nodded, “okay, if you’ve made up your mind go tomorrow, but promise me” he huffed, “that you’ll be careful.”
“Yes Charles, I’ll be careful.”
“And if anything happens you’ll call for I or Erik?”
Logan grimaced, “I ain’t calling Erik.”
“But you’ll for backup if anything happens, right?”
“Yes I’ll call for backup…” he muttered, “just not Erik..”
Charles rolled his eyes, “okay, as long as you don’t do this alone.”
“I won’t…”
Both Charles and Logan made it out of the study and Laura could tell that her Father was still uneasy, his heart was racing, his hands clamy rubbing at his jeans. Charles felt stressed and worried as well.
‘Who was he meeting?’ she thought, ‘why was Charles worried about him?’
Instead of asking her Father directly she ran down the staircase avoiding him, and ran all the way into the dining hall.
She was huffing by the time she got to the table where Jamie was he was picking at his plate, “did you ask your dad for Pizza yet?”
“No! We’ve got bigger problems!”
“We do?” Jame almost dropped his fork.
“My dad is visiting someone dangerous tomorrow, and he mentioned this girl he knew.”
“Okay? Well are the X-men going?” Jamie’s face lit up, “maybe they’ll let us suit up!”
Laura shook her head, “no” she sighed, “he promised if he needs it he’ll call for backup…I know my dad he keeps his promises, but I doubt he’s gonna stick to calling for backup, he never asks for help!”
“Well your right about that.” Jamie leaned back in his seat and thought for a moment, “so…what’s the plan.”
Laura looked around the busy hall, ducking low to Jamie’s ear, “tomorrow, I’m thinking we’ll follow him just in case he finds trouble.”
“We?”
“Well you wanted to be in the X-men, here’s your chance!”
Jamie smiled, “think we can steal a suit!”
“Oh Jamie were gonna steal more than a suit. But first we gotta do some re con.”
“Re-con?”
“Yea we need to know what were heading into, I’m thinking we steal that diary from Xavier’s office.”
“I feel like that’s illegal…”
“Pfft” Laura threw her hand a him, “it’s just some journal.”
Jamie rolled his eyes, “it’s not a diary it’s Xaiver’s record log of sessions! Sessions, personal sessions!”
“Shh!” Laura looked around at the crowded room, “let’s go talk about it upstairs.”
Jamie put his food down and followed Laura, up the stairs and into the hallway on the third floor which was perfectly empty.
“I know Charles is going to be eating dinner, all I need is to peak at the diary and see what girl he’s talking about and see why he’s in danger.”
Jamie grabbed Laura’s wrist gently, “why don’t we avoid all this, and you go talk to your Father…”
Laura rolled her eyes, “you don’t understand he never listens to me! He never wants to talk about anything important he only tells Charles everything, it’s unfair!”
Jamie let go and put his hands up, “okay go, I’ll cover you.”
Laura nodded, “thanks.”
Jamie followed Laura silently across the hallway, once she got inside the office he leaned against the door nonchalant. Looking down at the emptiness. “Well this is going to be easy.”
The boy should’ve bit his tongue, because just as he was relaxing Jean and Scott came out of the Library that was at the end of the long hallway and started walking toward him. “Shit” he muttered.
Jean waived to him, “what are you doing up here? Dinner is downstairs?”
“Oh I finished dinner, just decide to lean conveniently against this door.”
Jean quirked her eyebrow up, “the Professor’s office?”
“Yea well” Jamie patted the door twice, and in a louder voice said, “it’s very reliable the wood is…uh very sturdy.”
Scott looked at Jean and back at Jamie, “uh huh well, we gotta go in there to grab the Chess set, so if you can scootch to the left a little.” He gestured to the door knob Jamie was blocking.
“Well” Jamie felt sweat drip down his back as he avoided Jeans gaze and tried to think of random thoughts, “I uh am actually” he gulped, “waiting for the Professor, so I can bring him the chess set…when I see him.”
Jean tilted her head and squinted, “and why are you waiting for the Professor?”
“Well….good question.” He played with his hands and his throat felt dry, “I uh…” he felt his face grow hot at the admission, “I don’t think my parents want me and I would like to talk to the Professor…” he chocked it out.
Jean and Scott were wide eyed and silent, as the boy in front of him who was mischievous and lighthearted looked so troubled. Jean leaned down and put her hand on Jamie’s shoulder, “Jamie that’s not true your parents Love you very much.”
Jamie shook his head, “then why am I still here? It’s summer Jean… I didn’t flunk out like the rest of the kids and I’m not helping out like you and Scott. My parent left me here…” he muttered, “they probably even forgot about me.” That’s when he started crying, he didn’t mean to, he didn’t want Laura to know. To hear him, but he had to think of something and this was something constantly on his mind and it ended up bubbling over.
“Now I’m all alone….”
No, your not alone, Scott, let’s just walk him to the professor.” Jean looked back to Jamie, “does that work for you, we won’t leave you alone, remember you have us.”
Jamie nodded his head and felt Jean’s hands on his face wiping his tears, when she stood up he took her hand and Jean led them to the elevator.
Scott was rubbing his back in circles, “don’t worry we’ll get this sorted out, got it?”
Jamie nodded and leaned back into Scott’s hands for comfort as he looked back at that oak door. ‘Great’ he thought, ‘she definitely thinks I’m a loser now…’
Laura remembered the book was kept in the second drawer on the right of his oak desk. After her sessions with him that’s where he’d put it. Her knees were on the ornate carpet and she tried pulling the drawer open but it was locked, “you gotta be shitten me.”
She pulled against the lock, but remembered she couldn’t break it. Then she heard Jean and Scott start talking to Jamie outside the door, “great” she whispered, Laura went to the corner of the room and jumped up on a bookshelf gracefully and hid in the shadows of the top corner. She silenced her breathing, just like she remembered.
However, she felt salt sting her tongue, it was Jamie. Laura almost tipped out of her hiding spot, Jamie was crying. Laura listened intently.
Looking for danger, but Jamie only smelled like her father, alone. A type of feeling of being the embodiment of ‘distant’ a far a way thing.
She heard his voice crack about being alone, and how his parent’s left him here. Yes, here wasn’t something awful like Hydra, but suffering was suffering, and she hated every second of hearing Jamie ache. The worst part, was he was using his real pain as just a cover, for some silly thing like a book.
The more Laura looked at the desk the more she realized that no book could really tell you everything, that even if her Father told her nothing, it be better to just ask, because at least that would’ve meant she tried. Tried to his face. Tip toeing around this wasn’t going to make her Father stop sulking in his room, or stop how his hands over wipe his face with water, to cover up all the salt stains.
Laura sighed, Jamie’s sacrifice was in vain, but at the same time Laura knew he needed this and now knows she’ll talk to her friend later.
She dropped down from her hiding spot and made her way out of the office, she heard the elevator ring and she made herself scarce, going down the stairs to her father when she ran into Rogue.
“Laura, where ya going?”
“Rogue…” she played with her hands a bit, “I think dad’s upset…”
“Over what?” Rogue leaned against the rail.
Laura looked around and whispered, “over a girl….and he’s leaving tomorrow to see someone, who’s dangerous.”
“A girl? And what about danger?”
“I don’t know the details! I only heard that tomorrow he has to go alone somewhere and it can be dangerous! Charles is worried.”
“Really?” Rogue scratched her head, “if the Professor thinks this bad then it prolly is, let’s go talk to Logan. Maybe we can help.”
Laura nodded gaining some more confidence, “yeah let’s see what we can do!”
Both Rogue and Laura went to Logan’s room, Laura could hear the water running in the bathroom and of him standing over the sink and wiping his face and muttering to himself.
Rogue and Laura looked at eachother, and Rogue went to knock on the door, “Logan, you in there?”
Logan turned off the water and wiped his face with the towel hanging next to the sink, “yea just….” he sighed like a weight was pressing onto him, “give me a minute.”
He smelled the pine trees on his daughters’ outside the door, and he knew they knew. It would take effort to just open the door, but he’d at least try to see them right now, all he needed to do was try for them. So he opened the bathroom door and stepped out into his room. Making his way to his bedroom door he grabbed the knob and opened to see how Laura and Rogue stood outside, looking at him with such eyes. Open, worried, eyes.
Laura reached for him and wrapped her arms around his waist, “daddy I don’t like it when you’re upset….”
Logan rubbed her back and looked at Rogue, “wanna talk about it?” She asked.
“I think I’d done enough talking for today….”
Laura looked at Rogue from her father’s stomach and mouthed ‘do something’.
Rogue watched her and sighed, “well…it doesn’t mean ya gotta be alone, why don’t you let us in?”
Logan sighed and stepped aside so they could come in, Laura let go to walk inside with Rogue, “wow you haven’t decorated at all.” Laura looked at her dad.
“….Laura this is what having a clean room looks like, you can see the floor.”
The little girl looked down and gave an “oh” which made Logan and Rogue laugh.
Logan took in the moment and was relieved for a minute, as he watched Laura and Rogue peak at his things.
Laura looked back at him knowing that he was getting better, she ran over and hugged him again, “I missed you…”
“Missed me? I haven’t gone anywhere yet?”
Laura mumbled, “mhmm” into his stomach.
Logan rubbed her head, “is something wrong?”
She shook her head ‘no’
Rogue interjected, “were just worried about you.”
Logan sighed trying to think, he pinched the bridge of his nose, “I need to think about some things….”
Rogue looked at Logan’s watery eyes and felt frightened, “is it bad..?”
Logan and Laura both looked at her, and Laura intently watched him as he responded.
“…I did something bad.”
“Well can’t ya just apologize, if they see ya this torn up about it, then maybe you can work it out? Or come to an understanding?”
“You sound like Charles….”
Rogue smiled and put her hand on her hips, “maybe he just sounds like me.”
They all laughed for a moment, then Laura looked up at Logan, “daddy, you don’t gotta do this alone…and if you gotta go somewhere dangerous you can bring us!
Logan gave a breathy huff, “…Laura and you Rogue don’t gotta worry about that.”
Logan took it all in, having them all here, and for a moment he felt a tinge of loneliness for a person he hasn’t regarded as a brother for a while now, “the person I plan on seeing tomorrow, is dangerous but I have to do it alone.”
Laura tried to object but Logan interrupted, “I have to go see…um Sabertooth by myself…I have some questions and it might be a difficult conversation.”
Rogue crossed her arms, “your seein him?”
Laura looked between the two, “who’s Sabertooth?”
Rogue added dryly, “better you not know em.”
Logan sighed, “your uncle.”
Laura’s eyes widened, “we have family!”
Rogue looked at Logan, “you sure about this?”
He nodded, “yea I’m sure.”
Laura glared she didn’t like being in the dark, “well is he mean or something?”
“Let’s just say” Logan sighed, “he don’t play nice, but it’s been a long while. So maybe he’s changed.”
Rogue kept her eyes on the ground, “mhmm” Laura didn’t like that she seemed so unconvinced.
She felt the growing silence in the room, “daddy, you’ll come back right?”
Rogue looked up at Logan as well, waiting.
“Always bub, always.” He looked at both of them.