Adventure Guys

*Just one week after Sir Pentious checked into the Hazbin Hotel for redemption, Charlie decided to celebrate his progress. Inviting Luffy and Morbius down to Hell. Together, they put up a banner that says “Happy first were, Sir Pentious!”*
Charlie: That looks perfect!
Luffy: I think it would’ve looked better with that drawing I made.
Morbius: Trust me, Luffy, it wouldn’t.
Charlie: Aah! I am so excited that Sir Pentious is staying at the hotel!
Vaggie: Um, Pentious was just trying to take over the city with his weird steampunk bullshit a few days ago.
Morbius: I still can’t believe you even let him in here.
Charlie: I know you have a fear of snakes, but we don’t turn down anyone who comes here to be redeemed.
Morbius: Whatever. I only agreed to pay a visit here because we’ve had a crazy week and you said there would be donuts.
Charlie: They’ll come, they'll come. You just need to be patient.
Morbius: okay…
*He walks off.*
Vaggie: What does he mean by crazy?
Luffy: Oh, you know the usual. We met some giants, a candle man, a guy who eats anything and a talking transforming reindeer that joined our crew.
Vaggie: I know we’re in Hell, but how is any of that normal? There was none of that when I was on Earth.
Charlie: Well, consider this a day to relax, Luffy. In celebration of Pentious’s progress.
*Pentious comes in, rolling in a new machine that his Egg Boiz are sitting on.*
Vaggie: What the hell is that?
Sir Pentious: Oh, hello, purple female. It's my new invention, the Skin Flayer 11,000! I'm really looking forward to shooting the other residents.
Charlie: What? Why?
Sir Pentious: Everyone is being too nice. Obviously it must be a lie. I can sense that they are planning to kill me, but when? How? I must be prepared! Ooh, the new parts of my machine are here.
*Two sinners enter, wheeling a boxes of machine parts.*
Odette: Sign, please.
*She hands Pentious a clipboard with paperwork that he signs.*
Odette: Thank you for your business. Enjoy your Carmine purchase.
*They leave.*
Vaggie: Carmine? As in, Carmilla Carmine? You are buying parts from an overlord?
Sir Pentious: Uh, of course. She's the top weapons dealer in Hell.
Luffy: What makes her the best?
Vaggie: Every extermination, hundreds of weapons from exorcist angels are left down here and she collects them and uses the steal that they’re made of to make her own weapons and seal them to people. It’s how she became an Overlord.
Sir Pentious: I wonder who I should test this on?
Vaggie: Okay, well that stops right now.
*She takes away his boxes.*
Sir Pentious: Hey!
Vaggie: You absolutely cannot build weapons in this hotel. No one is trying to kill you. People are being nice because they want you to feel welcome.
*Pentious peeks over his machine and scowls at everyone else. Husk is drinking a bottle of alcohol and flips him off. Angel Dust looks at his phone and flips him off. Morbius drinks a packet of blood and flips him off. And Niffty dusts the corner and grins sinisterly at him.*
Sir Pentious: Hmm, I have my doubts.
Vaggie: Well, it's true. You have to trust us.
Sir Pentious: But I don't.
Luffy: Sounds like you have trust issues.
Charlie: Well, why don't we focus on that for today's activities?
Vaggie: Not before we lay some ground rules. No more building weapons, no more plotting against other guests, and you need to get rid of these things.
*Two Egg Boiz, having a tug-of-war over a laser, accidentally set it off and blow a hole in the roof, much to Vaggie's frustration.*
Vaggie: Oh! What did I just say? What did I just say?
Sir Pentious: What? Not my little egg boiz. They do my evil bidding for me!
Vaggie: Do you want to stay here and redeem yourself?
Sir Pentious: Yes.
Vaggie: Then no more eggs.
Sir Pentious: All right, eggies. You've got to go. I… can't keep you anymore!
Egg Boi: Okay, boss.
*They follow Vaggie as she wheels the boxes away.*
Sir Pentious: No, don't resist. This is how it has to be!
*Pentious begins crying as he watches his Egg Boiz walking away.*
Luffy: Can we cook them and eat them then?
*Pentious stares angrily at Luffy.*

*Alastor eats a deer carcass with jazz music in the background in his room.*
Vaggie: Alastor!
Alastor: Do you mind? I'm in the middle of breakfast.
Vaggie: Pentious' eggs are all over the place, and I need you to get rid of them.
Alastor: Oh, well, in that case, I'd be delighted to!
Vaggie: Humanely!
Alastor: Hmm. Well, that's a lot less fun, but I suppose I can take care of that on my outing today.
*He walks out with the Egg Boiz following him.*
Vaggie: Great! That looks disgusting.

*Everyone but Alastor gathers in the lobby. Charlie and Vaggie stand behind a makeshift stage while everyone else sits on the sofa.*
Charlie: guys. Thanks for coming! It's been brought to our attention that there may be a little, tension in the hotel.
*Pentious grabs Niffty with his tail and attempts to shoot her with a ray gun but Vaggie takes it away.*
Vaggie: Tension that can be counterproductive to what we're trying to do here.
Charlie: We think that this group could really benefit from…
*She and Vaggie jump.*
Charlie: Trust exercises!
Vaggie: Trust exercises. Ah, shit!
*She falls on the floor.*
Charlie: Vaggie, we rehearsed this. We're doing trust exercises!
Luffy: Oohh! Sounds like it’ll be fun.
Husk: So, uh, what's with the whole, uhh, this?
*He points to the stage behind Charlie and Vaggie.*
Husk: I'm not about to put on some show for these fucking chumps.
Angel Dust: Oh, I will, but it's cash up front, and I know that one can't afford me.
Sir Pentious: Gross! I'd never think of it, spider!
Vaggie: Right, well, let's get started. Charlie?
Charlie: Actually, I thought maybe you could take the lead on this one. I trust everyone, so maybe you know better on how to build it properly!
*She joins everyone else.*
Vaggie: What? Uhh, I don't know if I'm qualified, uh...,
Charlie: Oh, come on. It'll be easy! I'm sure you can handle this.
Morbius: Yeah. How bad could it possibly go?
Vaggie: Yeah, um… Sure, I can handle this. No problem. All, right, so we are starting with trust falls! Each of you are going to share something vulnerable with the group about yourself and then fall backwards, while the rest of the group catches you. Got it? Who wants to go first?
*Charlie raises her hand.*
Charlie: Ooh, ooh, me me me! Me! Me! Me!
Vaggie: All right, get on up here.
*Charlie walks up to the stage.*
Charlie: I, I love you guys. Like, really, really love you.
*She falls backwards and Vaggie catches her.*
Vaggie: Gotcha!
Charlie: That... felt... good! Angel, why don't you go next?
Angel Dust: Fine.
Vaggie: This time everyone needs to catch him, okay? Unless you want me to hurt you.
*Angel walks yo to the stage.*
Angel Dust: Somethin' about myself, huh? How about this? I LOVE to suck-
Husk: I swear to fuck if you say dicks!
Angel Dust: -popsicles, ya sicko! Get your mind outta the gutter!
*He falls backwards and Husks catches him.*
Angel Dust: But, you know, dicks too!
*He then drops Angel.*
Morbius: Don’t exactly think that’s what she was talking about.
Vaggie: Ok, then. You go up, Luffy.
Luffy: Ok!
*Luffy walks up to the stage.*
Luffy: Hmmm, let’s see… I know! I didn’t think I’d ever be able to get this far without my crew.
*He falls over backwards and Morbius catches him.*
Angel Dust: All, right, new guy, you're up.
*Pentious walks to the stage.*
Sir Pentious: I... don't want to live without my minions. Nobody catch me!
*He falls backwards but Charlie and Vaggie catch him.*
Sir Pentious: Damn it.
Vaggie: That's great. Wow, you are slimy. Okay, good job. Uh, Niffty?
*Niffty runs up to the stage.*
Niffty: Sometimes, I kill mother-bugs in front of their children as a warning to others!
*Niffty jumps off the stage but no one catches her after hearing what she said and she falls on the floor.*
Niffty: Yay! Pain!
*She runs up to the stage and jumps off of again.*
Niffty: Pain!
*She proceeds to do it again and again.*
Charlie: I don't know if this is really working the way we'd hoped. Maybe we should-
Vaggie: Honey, you have to trust me here. I got this, okay? I'll figure something out.
Angel Dust: you're in the market for some ideas, I've got just the thing for some "trust buildin'".
Vaggie: What do you have in mind?

*In Pentagram City, Alastor walks the streets with the Egg Boiz following him.*
Egg Boi 1: Oh, boy! What's the plan, boss?
Egg Boi 2: I like your suit!
Egg Boi 3: What are the antlers for?
Egg Boi 4: Can I touch your staff thing?
Egg Boi 5: Are those your ears or is it your hair? I can't tell!
*Alastor becomes increasingly annoyed by them. Suddenly, a tall spider-like sinner demon Overlord appears in front of him.*
???: Hark, Alastor. How fare thee this day?
Egg Boi 1: Who's that, boss? Want me to rough him up for you?
Alastor: Follow in silence if you value your shell! Greetings, Zestial!
Demon: Oh, holy shit!
Zestial: Ah, the weather doth become this fine day.
*A demon exits through the back door of a building and sees them. He then proceeds to hide in a pile of garbage.*
Alastor: Indeed, looks like we might have some acid rain this afternoon!
*Another demon pours gasoline on himself and light it on fire.*
Zestial: If our luck doth hold! I do revel in the screams. How art thou?
*They begin walking together down the street as several demons avoid them.*
Zestial: It has been an age since thou hath graced us with thy presence. Some hath spun wild tales of you falling to... holy arms.
Alastor: Oh, I just took a well-earned sabbatical, nothing serious. Though it's fun to keep everyone on their toes!
Zestial: There too hath been rumor of thy involvement with the princess and her recent flight of fancy. TELL ME, how dost thou fall in such folly?
Alastor: That is for me to know. But please, do guess, I'd love to know the theories.
Zestial: T'would be grander folly by far to assume the workings of your mind, Alastor. Thou hath been naught but an enigma since thy manifested in this realm!
Alastor: Coming from someone as ancient as you, I take that as quite the compliment.
*Alastor, Zestial and the Egg Boiz walk into an alleyway with a row of lifts. The security camera spots Zestial walking in view, but Alastor's image glitches when the camera was on him. Zestial and Alastor gets into one elevator. The Egg Boiz attempt to follow, but Alastor blocks them.*
Alastor: No, no. I have a very important task for you. Stay here and guard the front until I return.
*The elevator begins to take Alastor and Zeatial up. But they notice one of them is inside with the two Overlords.*
Egg Boi 2: Oh, look. Frank is up there.
Egg Boi 3: We have names?

*The lift reaches the top of the building and opens, where Alastor, Zestial and Frank walk out. Frank watches as other Overlords come out of other lifts and go into another room. One of them towers over the others as they begin to take their seats. Frank follows them in and stands near Alastor's seat. The Overlord sitting next to Alastor turns to look at Frank and he waves. She smiles widely at him, showing her pointed, knife-like teeth. Frank hides behind Alastor's chair as Carmilla Carmine walks to the head of the table with her two daughters.*
Carmilla Carmine: Welcome, Hell’s sovereign overlords. I've invited you all here because you represent the controlling powers of our city. Together, you own millions of souls. Souls at risk with the new Extermination schedule. We need to discuss what can be done to minimize the impact to our interest.
*Zestial takes his seat next to Carmilla.*
Carmilla: Zestial, so good to see you, my friend.
Zestial: Enchanted as always, Carmilla.
Carmilla: Alastor?
Alastor: Yes, I know I've been absent some time. I'm sure you've all been wondering!
Carmilla:...Not really. But welcome back in any case.
*Alastor feels offended.*
Carmilla: This year's Extermination was brutal, far more even than years past. We have assessed that about 16% of the population was lost. With the angelic legions now returning twice as quickly, I think it prudent we-
*The meeting is interrupted by the arrival of Velvette, who is on the phone with Vox.*
Velvette: Yes, I've got it handled, Vox. Are you doubting me? Really? Me? That's what I thought. Hahaha! Yes, I know. They're all a joke. Thank you, V. See you soon. Kisses, darling.
*She takes a seat at the opposite end of Carmilla.*
Carmilla: Nice of you to join us, Velvette. Will your... colleagues be joining?
Velvette: No, they have better shit to do than to listen to an old windbag who thinks she's tough shit. I'm here to represent.
Carmilla: Charming. So, as I was saying, we need to discuss-
*Velvette raises her hand, interrupting the meeting again.*
Carmilla: Yes?
Velvette: On the subject of discussion…
*She throws the head of the dead exorcist angel that Adam and Lute found on the table.*
Zeezi: Holy shit!
Alastor: Oh! Tasty…
Carmilla: Where did you get this?
Velvette: We found it during Extermination day. If these Holy Rollers can be killed, the game has changed.
*She stands on top of the table.*
Velvette: We can take the fight to them. The boys and I have come up with a full assault plan-
*Zestial loudly and aggressively sips a cup of tea to drown her out.*
Zestial: it be true thee and thy colleagues desire to war with such meagre proof, thou art far more... foolish than I bethought.
Velvette: Meagre proof? It's a dead fucking Exorcist. I'd say that's pretty fucking definitive. You going blind, old man?
Zestial: We know not how this perished. Mayhaps t'was not by a demon's hand at all. If we rush to war without knowing, mightn't they purge all of Hell for daring an uprising?
*While the Overlords agree with Zestial’s statement, Velvette notices a change in Carmilla’s expression.*
Velvette: Oh, I get it. So Grandpa is too pussy to fight, so I guess there's no point, right? Oh, what's the matter, Fossil? Too senile to make a real power grab for-
Carmilla: ♪ You better show some respect! Check your behavior! no one speaks to Zestial that way! ♪
♪ Did you expect us to sit back and take your, insolent brazen display? ♪
Velvette: ♪ You got it twisted, I'm not the one who needs a new attitude! ♪
♪ Maybe you missed it, but I'm that #Bitch and I will do nothing less than what I please, whoo! ♪
♪ I'm the backbone of the Vees, ♪
Mad that I acted respectless? Well, it's cause no one could respect this! ♪
♪ Sorry, group attendin'! Since when are Overlords too scared to fight? ♪
♪ You're long past trending! Sorry, bae, but I ain't swiping right! You've lost your relevance- ♪
Zestial: We can't act without more intelligence. ♪
Velvette: ♪ Ugh! No wonder I'm so respectless, I could eat you lot for breakfast! ♪
Carmilla: ♪ You and the Vees are inane and uninformed! ♪
♪ Smug wannabes who don't heed when you've been warned! ♪
Velvette: ♪ 'Oops!' Did I strike a nerve? ♪
♪ 'Cause when I brought out the angel’s head, couldn't help but observe, that your wrinkled face was turning red! ♪
♪ And why are you avoiding war? That's what the guns you sell are for! Thanks to my being respectless, one thing I'm starting to suspect is
You know why this angel's headless! Do you have a disclosure? ♪
Carmilla: ♪ This meeting's over! ♪
Alastor:…That was a productive meeting!
Velvette: Hm. Fine. Safe travels back to the nursing home, fuckers! Kiss my arse!
*She walks out the door.*
Zeezi: What the hell? We literally just got here!
Odette: Mother?
*The overlords begin to leave but Alastor notices Carmilla, her daughters and Zestial walking into another room.*
Alastor: Hmm. Well that's interesting. You, little egg creature. I have a job for you.
Egg Boi: Oh. Yes, boss!
Alastor: Follow them!
*The Egg Boi follows them into the next room.*

*Back with Charlie’s, Angel has taken everyone to a BDSM sex dungeon. Vaggie is visibly angry.*
Vaggie: Angel! What the actual fuck?!
Angel Dust: No activity requires more trust than BDSM, baby. No bond stronger than those formed through bondage! That's their motto!
*He points over to a poster that does indeed read “No bond stronger than those formed through bondage.*
Luffy: I’m confused. What is this place? Doesn’t look like what I figured dungeons would look like.
Morbius: Sometimes I wish I had your innocence, Luffy.
Charlie: Angel, love the enthusiasm. But, umm, uh, hmmm…
Vaggie: What makes you think anyone would be into this?
Luffy: Looks like cat in the hat is enjoying this place.
*Husk purrs as he gets a massage.*
Husk: You know, I, I don't hate this.
*Niffty dresses up in a dominatrix outfit.*
Niffty: I'm ready to punish some bad boys!
Husk: ...Never mind, I-I'm out!
Morbius: Yeah, we’re out too before anything freaky happens in here.
Luffy: Like what?
Morbius: Probaby best we don’t find out.
*They exit the building. A couple of demons begin coming towards Charlie.*
Charlie: Okay, hello there. Hi. Um. Hm. Hm…
*Vaggie pulls her away.*
Vaggie: Ugh! I can't fucking believe I let you drag us here, Angel. This is disgusting.
Charlie: It's no big deal, Vaggie. You know, maybe I can just help, uh-
Vaggie: No. I told you you could trust me, and I'm not going to let you down. I just need to teach them, the way I was taught…

*Everyone stands on the rooftop with half destroyed buildings surrounding them. They witness several demons fighting and killing each other.*
Charlie: THIS IS HOW YOU LEARNED TO TRUST PEOPLE?!
Vaggie: There is nothing stronger than the trust between comrades in arms. Buckle up, buttercups, because today you boys become men! You…
Sir Pentious: Wait, wait! I can't fight without my minions-
*Vaggie picks him up.*
Vaggie: Are gonna survive together!
*She then throws him off the building and into the carnage below.*
Vaggie: And you…
Angel Dust: D-don't you even think about it-
Vaggie: Are gonna make this hotel work!
*She then picks up Angel and throws him off the building.*
Morbius: Wait, you’re not gonna-
*She then proceeds to pick up Luffy and Morbius one at a time and throw them off the building. Husk sneaks away.*
Niffty: My turn, my turn!
*Vaggie picks up Niffty and is about to throw her, but Charlie grabs her.*
Charlie: Vaggie! No!
Vaggie: This is the only way they'll learn, Charlie. No, it's not. There are other ways. It just takes time!
*Niffty decides to jump down herself to join the carnage going on below.*
Vaggie: Time we don't have! How many Exterminations will have gone by before these idiots get their shit together? How many times will we have to watch your people be killed before we make headway?
Charlie: Vaggie…
Vaggie: I took charge today and it all went sideways. I'm supposed to make your dreams a reality. I'm supposed to protect you. I'm supposed to never fail you.
Angel Dust: I BLAME YOU FOR THIS, YOU CRAZY BITCH!
Morbius: WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH THAT GUN?!
Luffy: I GOT SOME GUY’S BLOOD IN MY EYES! I CAN’T SEE!
Morbius: YOU SHOT ME! YOU SHOT ME IN THE ARM! MY ARM! MY FUCKING ARM!
Charlie: You didn't fail me. Vaggie, you're not-you're not-
Vaggie: If I can't help you, what's the point of me?
Charlie: Vaggie, don't say that! You do so much! It's-
Vaggie: I'm sorry. I'd... I'd like to be alone for a minute.
*Angel carries Pentious back up to the roof and is exhausted, along with Luffy and Morbius.*
Angel Dust: Made it!
Luffy: I thought this was gonna be fun…
Morbius: It was not fun at all.
Charlie: Let's go home, guys.
Angel Dust: Ugh! I just walked up all those stairs!
Luffy: Can we get some food on the way?
*While they all leave, Vaggie stays on the rooftop by herself.*

*Meanwhile, Carmilla pours a glass of alcohol but instead drinks the bottle. Unbeknownst to them, the Egg Boi is spying on them.*
Zestial: Carmilla, what troubles thou? Losing thy composure is unlike thee.
Carmilla: It's nothing, Zestial, really.
Zestial: The felled angel... t'was by thy hand, was it not?
Carmilla: Let's not talk about it.
Clara: Mom, maybe he should know.
Carmilla: Nobody should know. I did what I had to do. I am not discussing this.
Zestial: ♪ What weighs on your soul, old friend? I implore you to share the load! ♪
♪ If it was thou who slew the angel, why not let your strength be known? ♪
Carmilla: ♪ I always thought... ♪
♪ That I would keep blood off my face. ♪
♪ But when that thing attacked, I had to act, to cross that line and keep them safe. ♪
♪ But if anyone knew, then all of Hell would rise to war, and who's to say? ♪
♪ Who'd survive the fray? I might lose the ones that I'd been killing for! ♪
♪ So, I'll, I'll be your keeper! ♪
♪ Do whatever it takes, I'll make the mistakes! ♪
♪ I'll keep you safe and keep this secret. ♪

*Vaggie begins to climb up the hotel.*
Vaggie: ♪ When I saw your face, you made me feel like a stranger in a brand new place ♪
♪ And it felt so good to be understood! ♪
♪ But there's so much I wished that I could say ♪
♪ So I, I'll be your armor ♪
♪ Do whatever it takes, I'll make the mistakes ♪
♪ I'll spend my life being your partner ♪

♪ Carmilla: And I don't know what we might face ♪
♪ But I know I can't replace you ♪
♪ So I'll do anything to save you ♪

Vaggie: ♪ And I will try to make your dreams come true ♪

Both: ♪ Whatever we go through ♪
♪ I know I ♪
Carmilla: ♪ I'll be your keeper ♪
Vaggie: ♪ I'll be your armor ♪
Both: ♪ Whatever it takes ♪
Carmilla: ♪ I'll make the mistakes ♪
Both: ♪ Whatever it takes ♪

*The Egg Boiz scavenge through a dumpster while Alastor waits for the one he sent to spy on Carmilla to return.*
Egg Boi 2: Ohhhh, this one smells like fun.
*The elevator travels down and the Egg Boi steps out.*
Alastor: So, what did you hear?
Egg Boi 1: First, the old guy w-was all, "Y-you're not yourself. You're the one who killed the angel," a-a-and, she was all , "♪ Whatever it takes ♪"
Alastor: And then what was the last thing?
Egg Boi 1: She killed the angel?
Alastor: Interesting. Lets keep this between us. Shall we?
*Alastor grins evily at him.*
Egg Boi: You got it, boss!

*Back in the hotel, Charlie stands on the second floor balcony after the disastrous trust exercise. Vaggie joins her.*
Vaggie: Hey.
Charlie: Hey.
Vaggie: I'm sorry I got so crazy today.
Charlie: No, no, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I put pressure on you. We work as a team. I guess I just thought all this would be easier, but, we'll figure it out, together. I mean, look what your exercise did for them.
*They see everyone laughing amongst themselves after the crazy battle they endured.*
Angel Dust: Hahahaha! And then, when that buff guy started beating the shit outta you!
Sir Pentious: Yes, and with the dismembered arm. Hahahaha! Yes, that was... particularly unpleasant.
Luffy: Hahahaha! You sure did got your butt kicked.
Morbius: Yeah. It brought me so much joy seeing you get hurt, snake man. Hahahaha!
Niffty: I liked that part.
Husk: Well... hey, at least you can take a beating like a champ. *comes over and pats him* You did okay, new kid.
Sir Pentious: ...Really?
Luffy: You sure did last longer than I thought you would. I suppose you’re not as weak as I thought.
Sir Pentious: Oh well, I suppose I did get into a little of the old, rough and tumble today. And uh, thank you for pulling me out of there.
*They continue laughing it out, but the mood is ruined by Niffty’s maniacal laughter.*
Morbius: Right… Just don’t think this means I like you now.
Vaggie: Well, how about that?
*Alastor returns to the hotel with the Egg Boiz following him.*
Vaggie: Alastor. failed to get rid of the eggs, I see.
Alastor: Yes, well, the little monsters prove to be rather useful…
Vaggie: Why don't you give them back to Pentious.
*Pentious gets teary eyed.*
Sir Pentious: Really?
Vaggie: Yeah. After today, I guess I can trust you with them. But seriously, no more weapons.
*Pentious gets emotional and hugs his minions.*
Sir Pentious: Ahhh! My eggs! Yay. Ah, it's so good to have you back. Now, go clean my quarters this instant!
Charlie: Maybe, things 'll move faster than you think.

*At the end of the day, Pentious is getting ready for bed with his Egg Boiz joining him.*
Sir Pentious: Ah! How was your day with Alastor, my minions?
Sir Pentious: It was awesome boss, I went to this meeting and there was a knife lady, an old guy, and a dinosaur!
Sir Pentious: Mmm, that's nice.
Egg Boi: And the knife lady killed an angel! And I... was not supposed to talk about it.
Sir Pentious: Oh, I'm so sure and maybe you'll meet Martians tomorrow, but now is time for sleep. Good Night Eggies.
*They all proceed to go to sleep.*