Little Garden part 7
Luffy: This is such good teeeeaa…
Morbius: Yeeeeaaahh…
Usopp: Luffy! Morbius! Why are you just sitting there and drinking tea?!
*He notices the green symbols painted on their backs. Mr. 5 and Miss Valentine catch up to them.*
Gem: Run all you want. It’s all over for you and friends. Here comes my best trick so far!
*Mr. 5 breathes into the ammo cylinder of his gun.*
Usopp: Special attack: exploding star!
*Usopp shoots a couple of flame pallets while Mr. 5 shoots his gun. The pellets hit Luffy and Morbius, exploding and burning their clothes.*
Mikita: Kyahahahaha! What an idiot! He missed the target and got his friends instead.
Usopp: Good, that was the last of his bullets.
Gem: Breeze breath bomb!
*Suddenly, an explosion is set off in front of Usopp and Karoo, injuring them.*
Gem: Did I forget to mention that my breath is also explosive?
Usopp: Damn! I can’t believe this guy! He didn’t have any bullets to begin with?! Hey, Karoo. Are you alright?
Karoo: Qu…
Usopp: Luffy! Morbius! You snap out of it yet?
*Luffy and Morbius’s shirts have burned off.*
Luffy: Yeah. I’m good now, thanks.
Morbius: A little burnt, but I think I’ll be fine.
Mikita: So he didn’t miss! His plan this whole time was to burn the color trap on the Straw Hats’ shirts.
Luffy: I’m tired of your stupid paints. You’re through. I’m not gonna let you hurt any more of my friend! Now, I’m really mad!
Morbius: Me too!
*His eyes turn red.*
*Meanwhile, Sanji waits on the Going Merry alone, waiting for everyone to return after hunting a larger T. Rex.*
Sanji: This is getting weird. It’s been a long time, and no one’s come back. I wonder what’s going on. This island’s crazy. Anything could have happened to Nami, Vivi, and the others, which means that cooking this lizard may have to wait for a while.
*Sanji gets off the ship and heads off into the jungle in search of everyone.*
*Sanji rides on the back of a saber tooth tiger that he beat up.*
Sanji: Hey, Nami! Vivi! Can you hear me?! Hey! Beautiful ladies! If you can hear me, please just say something!
*He stumbles upon Mr. 3’s wax house.*
Sanji: What’s strange. What’s this?
Gem: Hahahaha. Oh, you’re mad, are ya? Look at your friends. Being mad won’t do them any good.
Luffy: Oh, yes, it will! They’re still alive!
Gem: Hahahaha! Are they, now? Look again. All they need is some of Miss Goldenweek’s paint, and they’ll be perfect wax statues. Face it: You’re too late to save them. They’re gone, and you know it!
*Luffy and Morbius become angrier.*
Galdino: Mr. 5 is right about that. Your friends are finished because you were too late to help them, and now, it’s your turn to die. It’s time for…Candle champion!
*Mr. 3 covers himself in wax and makes a massive battle suit resembling a robotic boxer.*
Usopp and Karoo: Aaaaaaaahhhhhhh!!!
Luffy: What the heck is that?
Morbius: It looks like a mecha!
Gem: That thing…? That is what he used one time to take down someone with a $42,000,000 bounty.
Mikita: That’s Mr. 3’s most dangerous work of art.
Galdino: Time to use your talents, Miss Goldenweek. I need an extra special paint job for my armor, and don’t forget to be artistic.
Marianne: After that, can I take a break?
Galdino: Why, yes, you can go get some tea. I’d prefer it if you stayed out of this, actually. When I’m in this armor, I’m utterly impervious to harm. This suit is as hard as iron. It may be made of wax, but it fits like a glove, and it’s impossible for zbyomd to pierce. And you don’t stand a chance against it. This artwork is flawless.
Luffy: Wow…! That’s so cool!
Usopp: Why are you admiring him?! Fight!
Karoo: Quack!
Morbius: Yeah, don’t compliment him!
Marianne: Just a little more laughter yellow.
Luffy: Right! Gum gum…
*Miss Goldenweek paints Mr. 3’s wax armor.*
Marianne: Paint job complete!
Galdino: And now…
Luffy: Pistol!
*Luffy punches Mr. 3, but his fist doesn’t penetrate his wax armor. Mr. 3 charges at Luffy and Morbius.*
Galdino: Champion fight: harvest field maneuver!
*He then attempts to plow through them with his box gloves, but they jump out of that way.*
Luffy: Gum gum stamp!
*Luffy attempts to stretch his leg and kick Mr. 3, but he blocks his attack.*
Galdino: Hehe! Nice try!
*Morbius attempts to slash Mr. 3’s legs, but his claws can’t penetrate his armor either.*
Morbius: Crap! I can’t get past the wax!
Galdino: Champion fight: harvest field maneuver!
Morbius: Uh, oh.
*Mr. 3 attempts to plow through Morbius with his boxing gloves again, but he barely manages to avoid getting hit.*
Morbius: That was close.
Usopp: Not good! Luffy and Morbius’s attacks don’t work against that guy’s armor!
*While Luffy and Morbius continue trying to attack Mr. 3, Usopp and Karoo feel some wax flakes fall on them.*
Usopp: *cough* The wax is choking me! Huh?
*He pays attention to the wax falling on his hand.*
Usopp: Wax…
*After watching the wax candles on the top of the cake, Usopp figures something out.*
Usopp: Of course! Why didn’t I realize it before now? It’s all wax, which means that it must be able to melt! Luffy, Morbius, we need to use fire! No matter how hard it is, wax is still wax! The others only hardened a few moments ago! We should still be able to save them!
Karoo: Quack!
Luffy: No way! Seriously?!
Marianne: Yeah, that’s correct.
Galdino: Aaaaah! You idiot! Don’t tell them that!
Morbius: Oh, so if we can just figure out a way to melt the wax, we should save everyone!
Galdino: But it doesn’t really matter if you realize that now, you have no hope of saving them. They have 30 seconds left, at most. After that, their hearts will slow to a stop. As we speak, they’re writhing in silent pain, barely conscious. They're hanging onto their lives by a thread, terrified of their impending doom and unable to move or even scream for help! And they know that you were too late to save them! Hahahahaha!
Usopp: I’ll save em right now. I don’t need 30 seconds.
Gem: Breeze breath bomb!
*Mr. 5 fires his breath as bullets in his gun at Usopp and explodes before he can try to save the others.*
Luffy: Usopp! No!
Morbius: Usopp!
Karoo: Quack!
Gem: When we say you don’t stand a chance, it’s best to believe us.
Mikita: Kyahahahaha!
Luffy: Damn it! We’re running out of time!
Morbius: We got to melt the wax and fast!
*Mr. 3 appears behind Luffy and Morbius.*
Galdino: Just give up.
*He then punches them both into the ground. As Usopp lays on the ground, he pulls out a rope and hands it to Karoo.*
Usopp: Listen, I need you to grab a hold of this rope, Karoo.
Mikita: Well, this looks like a party. Now what are you two planning? Do you think I could join in on the fun?
Usopp: Karoo, run now. Get going!
Karoo: Quack!!!
*Karoo grabs the rope with his beak and runs away.*
Usopp: Just run around all the candle sticks! And move as quick as you can!
*Karoo begins to run around the wax cake with the rope.*
Gem: Come on. I don’t why you bother.
Mikita: Excuse me.
*She increases her body weight and sits on Usopp.*
Usopp: Ah, jeez!
Mikita: Can you handle my crescendo stone? I just wonder how many kilograms you’ll be able to endure.
*While Mr. 5 tries to shoot Karoo with his explosive bullets, Miss Valentine continuously increases her body weight while sitting on Usopp, crushing him.*
Mikita: Ten kilograms. 100 kilograms. 200 kilograms. 300 kilograms.
Gem: Damn it! Hold still, you quacker!
*Luffy and Morbius continue to fight Mr. 3.*
Galdino: Hahaha! Give it up! It’s no use! Your friends are a permanent part of my collection now! Accept it! Hahahahaha!
Luffy: They’re not! There’s no way we’re gonna let you have our friends, candle boy!
*Luffy stretches his arm and grabs Mr. 3’s hair while it’s still on fire.*
Luffy: Hey, Morbius! Help me pull him!
Morbius: Pull him?! What are you- Oh!
Galdino: Wait, what?!
*They drag Mr. 3 over to Usopp.*
Luffy: We don’t have any fire, so we’re gonna have to borrow yours! I hope that’s ok!
Galdino: That hurts! Quit pulling! Stop it!
Morbius: Hey, Usopp! We got fire right here!
Usopp: Hold on! That tiny little flame isn’t gonna work quickly enough! The rope that Karoo has, light that on fire!
Luffy: A rope? How’s that supposed to help us?
Usopp: Just trust me on this! I covered the whole thing in oil!
Morbius: Oh, now it makes sense!
Luffy: Ok, everyone, it’s time to wake up!
Usopp: It’ll be hot, but it’s the only way, and they should be alright.
Galdino: Stop it! Let go! Aaaaahh!
Morbius: Rise and shine, guys!
*They manage to use the fire on Mr. 3’s hair to light the rope on fire, causing all the wax to melt from the flames. Including Mr. 3’s wax armor.*
Galdino: Aaaaahhhh!
Morbius: I think we possibly went a little overboard.
Luffy: Uh, whoops! Hope the others don’t get all burned up!
Galdino: Oh, curse you, you stupid Straw Hat pirate! You and your pale friends! You destroyed my precious candle set! How dare you short such disregard for artistic integrity! You’ll pay for this!
*Mr. 3 and Miss Goldenweek run away into the jungle.*
Luffy: No! You’re not getting away with this!
Gem: Damn it! How dare you mock Baroque Works agents?!
*Miss Valentine begins to beat up Usopp.*
Mikita: I’m sick and tired of you and your friends! Got that? Ok, play time is really over now!
*She jumps into the air while weighing one kilogram.*
Mikita: I’m going to break that scrawny little neck of yours into a million pieces! Ten thousand kilogram guillotine!
*Miss Valentine increases her body weight to 10,000 kilograms and falls with one leg extended.*
Usopp: Not good!
*But luckily, Nami and Vivi jump out from the fire, now free from the wax, and attack Miss Valentine before she can crush Usopp.*
Nami: That was really hot! Couldn’t you have thought up another plan?
Usopp: You’re being a little picky here, don’t you think? Aren’t at least a little bit grateful?
Nami: You have a point there. Thanks.
Vivi: It’s amazing! I can’t believe we’re actually alive!
Gem: Got out of the wax, did ya? Well, I’ve had enough. We simply cannot afford for you to screw up our mission anymore.
Usopp: Hey, you, Mr. 5! Special attack… exploding star!
*Usopp fires a pellet at Mr. 5, but he swallows it.*
Gem: You fool! Haven’t you figured out that your pathetic explosives don’t affect me at all?! They’re nothing to an exploding man!
Usopp: You took the bait!
*Suddenly, Mr. 5 feels a spicy taste in his mouth.*
Usopp: I’m sorry. I just told a little lie. That wasn’t an exploding star, that was a special Tabasco star.
Gem: Spicy!
*Mr. 5’s mouth catches on fire.*
Usopp: Hahahahaha! I had to learn how effective that thing was the hard way!
Morbius: Good one!
Gem: Damn, you stupid pirate! I refuse to let you make a mockery of me! Time for a full body explosion! There’ll be nothing left of you!
*Mr. 5 runs up to Usopp and grabs him.*
Usopp: Let go of me! I’m sorry! Please let go!
Nami: Let him go!
Usopp: I’m too young to die! I’m too young to die! Aahh! Let go!
Zoro: Flaming oni gri!
*Zoro crosses his two swords across his chest and places the blade in his mouth horizontally behind them and cuts through Mr. 5. Setting him on fire as well.*
Zoro: You know these flaming swords aren’t too bad.
Nami: Zoro!
*The fire manages to melt the wax that was covering Brogy, freeing him.*
Zoro: Hey, there. Glad to see you made it out alive.
Brogy: Yeah.
*He looks over at Dorry’s motionless body.*
Usopp: Master?
Brogy: So now it seems two foes are left.
*Luffy, Morbius and Karoo chase after Mr. 3 and Miss Goldenweek.*
Luffy: Real men don’t interfere with someone else’s fight!
Morbius: He’s gonna pay for this!
Galdino: Hahahahaha!
*But they stumble upon a group of wax clones of Mr. 3, painted by Miss Goldenweek.*
Morbius: You’ve got to be kidding me…
Galdino: So good of you to come, I’ve been expecting you. Welcome to my wax wax manor.
Luffy: What’s going on?
Galdino: Why, just a little game of hide and seek. Can you figure out which one is me? Hahahahaha! I’d say it appears you picked the wrong group of people to go up against. You’re no match for my intellectual prowess and artistic abilities. You’re just another buffoon who acts on blind instinct and uses brute force to solve all his problems. You can’t hope to catch an intellectual giant like me! Hahahahaha! I am a Baroque Works agent. Every assignment that is given to me I see through to our end. So if you think you’re ready, then just step forward. Hahahahaha! That’s right, just take a little step. And as soon as your back is turned, I’m going to stab you… right through that pathetically noble little heart of yours. Hahahahaha!
Luffy: Gum gum stamp!
*Luffy stretches his leg and kicks the face of the real Mr. 3, leaving an imprint of his sandle on his face.*
Galdino: How could you have known… that… this… is where I was…?
*He collapses in defeat.*
Luffy: Instinct.
Morbius: Sorry, wax man. But it seems all that intelligence doesn’t beat dumb luck.
*Karoo sees Miss Goldenweek attempting to sneak away, but run towards her.*
Karoo: Quack!
Marianne: AAAAAAHHHH!
*Meanwhile, Sanji enjoys some tea inside the wax house.*
Sanji: Earl gray is a perfect addition to the afternoon. Aaah! Hold on! What am I doing?! I shouldn’t be sitting here all relaxed just casually sipping tea without a single care in the world! Nami, Vivi and the others could be waiting out there right now for me to come and help them! I am still curious about one thing, though. What is a nice, relaxing place like this doing smack in the middle of an ancient, creepy jungle?
*But before he can leave, he hears a noise coming from a basket in the house.*
Sanji: What?
*He digs through it and finds a phone.*
Sanji: A phone.
*He picks it up.*
Sanji: Yeah, hello. You’ve reached the crap cafe. Can I take your order?
???: You can quit fooling around now, jackass. Now then… Your report’s a little bit late, don’t you think?
Sanji: Huh? My report, you say? And to whom exactly am I speaking, please?
???: Me. Mr. 0.