Adventure Guys

Mr. 9: He’s gone
Igarappoi: What?? But how the hell can he just disappear?!
*Everyone looks around to find Zoro but are unable to. However, he’s suddenly standing with them all. Several of the bounty hunters aim guns at him.*
Bounty Hunter 1: Who do you think you are?
Bounty Hunter 2: Fire!
*They shoot at Zoro, but he disappears and they shoot each other instead.*
Igarappoi: Incompetent morons! They just shot each other!
Mr. 9: Yeah, and the pirate got away!
Igarappoi: Ugh! Just kill him! He’s only one man!
*Zoro appears behind Igarappoi and sticks one of his swords through his hair.*
Zoro: Ask yourself, will one gravestone really be enough?
Bounty Hunter 3: There he is! Now!
Igarappoi: No! Don’t shoot! Wait! You’re going to shoot me! Stop! Igarappa!
*All the bounty hunters aim at Zoro and subsequently Igarappoi, who pulls out a saxophone that fires bullets at the people aiming at him. Zoro has disappeared again and is hiding behind a house.*
Igarappoi: Alright, you idiots. Where did he escape to this time?
Zoro: So that thing’s a weapon, huh? Dangerous. I better watch it.
Mr. 9: It seems as though this guy might actually be able to put up a fight even against us.
Igarappoi: Can he possibly be so arrogantly stupid that he thinks he can fight all of us by himself? What kind of a man would even consider challenging us after knowing that we’re all with Baroque Works?

*Back in the building where the party was held, Luffy and the rest are still fast asleep.*
Luffy: Zzzzzz…
Sanji: Ladies, please…. Come a bit closer…
Usopp: And now it’s time for… Usopp cheer number 721. Now, go…
Morbius: That’s right… I’m a winner…
*But while Luffy, Morbius, Usopp and Sanji are asleep, Nami is wide awake.*
Nami: So… Whiskey Peak is really home to a whole nest of bounty hunters? You know, I had a feeling that might just be the case.

Bounty Hunter 1: He couldn’t have gone far! Let’s find him, men!
*Zoro prepares to use his new swords he got from Loguetown.*
Zoro: Ah, yes. My new recruits from Loguetown. Yubashiri and Sandi Kitestsu. Now’s as good a time as any to see what you two are made of. Luffy and Morbius had opportunities to show off new techniques, but I haven’t yet. And with these thugs, we don’t need to hold back!
*But a bounty hunter stands above him on the roof with a gun pointed to his head.*
Bounty Hunter 3: Hahaha! I got you now! Die!
*He shoots Zoro, but misses as Zoro rolls into the building through the door.*
Bounty Hunter 3: Damn!
*Several more bounty hunters appear and shoot at him. But Zoro hides behind a table that protects him from the bullets.*
Zoro: Up first, Yubashiri.
*He unsheathes Yubashiri and slices the table in half. He then proceeds to slash them in the blink of an eye.*
Zoro: Light. Well balanced.
*The bounty hunters are then inflected with laceration wounds and fall over on the ground. But more chase after Zoro.*
Bounty Hunter 4: There’s the sneaky rat! This way, guys! Hold it!
Zoro: Well, I guess they found me.
*Zoro climbs up a ladder on top to the roof a building.*
Bounty Hunter 4: He’s coming your way!
Bounty Hunter 5: He’s mine!
*Another bounty hunter fires a bazooka at Zoro, but me narrowly dodges it.*
Zoro: No way!
Bounty Hunter 5: Time to die!
*But Miss Monday throws a barrel from across another building that Zoro cuts into pieces and they hit the bounty hunters on the roof.*
Zoro: Aw! And that wine must have cost a fortune. What a waste, huh?
*One of the bounty hunters raises a large hammer and prepares to hit him, but Zoro cuts it in half. His arm that’s holding onto the Sandai Kitetsu slashes the bounty hunter.*
Zoro: Huh?! What the hell is it doing? Well, Sandai Kitestsu, you’re quite sharp, but you’re also a bit of a troublemaker, aren’t you? A good sword only cuts when its master directs it to. Cursed or not, you’re going to listen to me now.
Child: Die!
*A child runs up to Zoro with a knife, but he knocks it out of his hand.*
Nun: No! Please have mercy on the little boy! I beg you! Please, kind sir, have mercy on us! Or try some blinding powder!
*She attempts to shoot powder to blind Zoro from her rosary, but Zoro hits them both with the flat ends of his swords, knocking them out.*
Zoro: You’d be better off trying that cheap trick on someone who’s more likely to fall for it. The flat of the blade is mercy.
*Zoro climbs up another ladder to go up to the next building’s roof, still being pursued by the bounty hunters.*
Bounty Hunter 6: Agh! He just keeps climbing!
Bounty Hunter 7: Corner the guy!

*Meanwhile, Nami searches for any money and treasure the bounty hunters may possess. But all she finds is a small box of it.*
Nami: Oh, seriously? This is all the treasure they have? This is a pathetic excuse for a bounty hunter’s nest! Whiskey Peak is a thoroughly useless town.

Bounty Hunter 7: Hahahaha! There’s nowhere to run now!
*The bounty hunters begin climbing up the ladder, but Zoro pushes it over.*
Zoro: Well, that was fun. See ya.
*They all fall onto each other while Zoro jumps across the rooftop.*
Bounty Hunter 8: Oh, no! He’s coming right for us! Shoot him!
*They begin shooting at Zoro as he approaches them.*
Zoro: Two sword style hawk wave!
*While airborne, Zoro creates a powerful gust of wind to knock them back. He then draws a circle on the roof with his sword and walks away as more bounty hunters step on the circle.*
Zoro: I wouldn’t be standing there if I were you.
*They then fall through the roof, as Zoro has cut a hole. Miss Monday tries to hit him with a ladder, but Zoro barely dodges it.*
Zoro: Alright, that was too close
*Miss Monday slips on some brass knuckles.*
Miss Monday: It was a good effort but there is no man who can best my strength.
*She then grabs Zoro by the throat.*
Miss Monday: Now you die, swordsman. Taste my superhuman brass knuckles!
*She then proceeds to punch Zoro in the face. Which causes the roof to collapse.*
Igarappoi: Well, we’ve wasted- *cough* Ma ma. Well, we’ve wasted a lot of time, but at least we’ve finally put an end to him. Now, let’s go.
*But they hear Miss Monday scream in pain. They look back and see that Zoro is grabbing onto her face.*
Mr. 9: Miss Monday?!
Zoro: What’s the matter, muscle woman? Didn’t you want to put your strength against mine? Well, I guess you lost.
*Miss Monday is rendered unconscious once Zoro squeezes her head tightly before letting go.*
Zoro: Is that all you can offer, Baroque Works? Cause you’re gonna need to do a lot better than that.
Bounty Hunter 1: It can’t be! He really beat Miss Monday!
Bounty Hunter 2: No! It’s just not possible!
Igarappoi: Now it all makes sense! The marines must have made a mistake on that wanted poster.
Mr. 9: It does make sense! I can understand why this guy would have a $30 million bounty put on his head. He must be the real captain of those pirates!
Miss Wednesday: Yea. He must be. It seemed strange that that weakling would fetch a high price. Though that doesn’t explain why the short pale one is worth $23 million.
Igarappoi: Even if this guy is the real captain, this is getting disgraceful. The Boss put us in charge of this town, and he’s not going to be very pleased if we lose to one measly pirate.
Miss Wednesday: Well, then, looks as if we finally get to fight.
Mr. 9: Something you may not know, in Baroque Works, the smaller an agent’s number is, the greater their power, as well as their rank in the company. Take the two of us, Mr. 9 and Mr. 8, we’re single dodger agents. And don’t forget Miss Wednesday. Our abilities are much greater than the riffraff you’ve been fighting against so far tonight.
Zoro: I’ve found the fancy titles mean nothing when it comes to fighting. The strongest wins, and that’s it.
Igarappoi: Igarappa!
*Igarappoi shoots at Zoro with his saxophone, but he dodges the bullets.*
Mr. 9: Let’s go, Miss Wednesday!
Miss Wednesday: Of course, Mr. 9!
*Mr. 9 used his acrobatic skills to jump up to the building Zoro’s on.*
Miss Wednesday: *whistle* Come here, Karoo!
*A large duck appears and extends one of its wings.*
Karoo: Quuaaack!
Miss Wednesday: No, not shake! Now, come here!
*She gets on the back of it like riding a horse.*
Miss Wednesday: Come on, Karoo. Show them how fast you are! Leave them in the dust!
Karoo: Quaaak
*But it sits down.*
Miss Wednesday: I didn’t tell you to sit, now did I?!
Zoro: You kidding? A duck?
Mr. 9: Hahahaha! You get distracted so easily. How can you hope to follow my acrobatics? You better prepare for… my bloody bat!
*Mr. 9 attempts to hit Zoro with a pair of metal baseball bats, but he blocks them with his swords.*
Mr. 9: Hahahaha! You’d better be careful not to chip your precious blades!
Zoro:…
Mr. 9: What’s the matter? Are you too afraid to fight me?
*But he begins to attack him, forcing Mr. 9 to block his attacks.*
Zoro: What happened to your fancy acrobatics, huh?
Mr. 9: Watch really carefully, now!
*Mr. 9 performs a backwards flip, not realizing that he jumps off the roof and crashes into the ground.*
Zoro: Is this really the best they can do?
Miss Wednesday: There’s better. I’m still here. Are you ready, Mister Bushido? Take a look at this. What do you think, bad boy?
*She then begins dancing.*
Miss Wednesday: Enjoy my enchanting vertigo dance.
*Zoro then begins to feel dizzy from the movement of the circles in Miss Wednesday's clothes. Making him collapse on the ground.*
Miss Wednesday: Good boy. And now… peacock slasher!
*Miss Wednesday loops one end of a wire around her pinky finger then swings a jewel in the shape of a peacock feather in a rapid circle.*
Miss Wednesday: Go, Karoo!
Karoo: Quuaaack!
*Karoo charges at Zoro. But unfortunately, runs past him and keeps running.*
Miss Wednesday: You ran right past him!
*They both then run off the roof and crash down into the ground.*
Zoro: Man, these guys are so pathetic, fighting then is starting to get embarrassing.
*Zoro hears the sounds of a saxophone and moves out of the way. Just in time before he’s riddled by bullets fired by Igarappoi. He then notices Zoro escaped through the hole in the roof.*
Igarappoi: He slipped down through that hole. That won’t keep him safe. Come back here, Swordsman, and get a taste of how dangerous I am.
*Zoro runs out of the building and hides.*
Zoro: That horn of his complicates things. How do I get close enough?
*Mr. 9 finds him.*
Mr. 9: You may have won the first fight, but you won’t get away with it. No tricks from you this time!
Zoro: I didn’t trick you, you jumped off a building.
Mr. 9: Now for my home run sneaky bat!
*Mr. 9 fires a chain from one of his bats that wraps itself around one of Zoro’s arms.*
Mr. 9: Hahahaha! Whatcha gonna do now, tough guy?
Zoro: Kick your ass.
Igarappoi: Excellent work.
Mr. 9: Hahaha! Come on! Do it Mr. 8! Kill him, now! Hahaha! You won’t get away!
Miss Wednesday: That’s right. Don’t move. If you even think about doing anything foolish, Mr. Bushido, your friends here will pay the price.
*Miss Wednesday holds Luffy and Morbius, who are still asleep, hostage.*
Luffy and Morbius: Zzzzzz…
Mr. 9: Hahahaha! Well done, Miss Wednesday. It looks like there will be no escape for the swordsman this time, unless he wants his friends to die.
Zoro: Those idiots. Can’t they at least be awake when they’re being held hostage?
Igarappoi: Preparing to fire.
*He then pulls his tie, which pulls out several gun barrels hidden in his hair.*
Igarappoi: Firing squad ready!
Zoro: What?!
Igarappoi: Igarappappa!
*He then shoots Zoro.*
Zoro: Oh great, more guns!
*Zoro pulls the chain into the air, pulling Mr. 9 as well and making him get hit instead. He then throws Mr. 9 at Miss Wednesday and Karoo. Knocking them all back.*
Igarappoi: Igarappappa!
*He continues shooting at Zoro, who dodges the bullets.*
Zoro: Gotta borrow your stomach, Luffy!
*He then jumps onto Luffy’s fat belly and leaps into the air. Zoro then proceeds to slash Mr. 8, rendering him unconscious.*
Zoro: Alright, done. Now maybe I can get some peace and quiet.
*Luffy wakes up.*
Luffy: Where am I? How did I get outside? That’s weird.
*He then falls back asleep.*

*The remaining Baroque Works agents try to flee from Zoro after he defeated Mr. 8, Mr. 9 and Miss Wednesday.*
Bounty Hunter 1: Three single digit agents lost to one man. I never thought I’d see the day that would happen.
Bounty Hunter 2: We’ve got to escape from here, but where do we go?
Bounty Hunter 1: We’re just gonna have to find some place to hide until this all blows over.
*But there soon confronted by the Unluckies, Mr. 13 and Miss Friday.*
Bounty Hunters: The Unluckies are here! No!
Bounty Hunter 3: Hold on a second! I know it looks like we’re running away, but we’re not, I promise!
Bounty Hunter 1: Please spare us! Please don’t report us to the Boss, ok?!
*They attack the fleeing agents.*
???: Hold it!
*They then stop before they can carry out any punishment towards them.*
???: There’s a lot of action tonight for such a sleepy town. Shouldn’t everyone be in bed?
???: Heh. The Boss sends us all the way to the front lines, and this is what we find? What a pathetic little group.
*They are then taken out by a large explosion.*

*Zoro hears it from afar.*

*Igarappoi tries to crawl away with Mr. 9 and Miss Wednesday.*
Igarappoi: Can’t die here. I have an important mission to complete. I must keep going.
???: Three of you lost against a single pirate? Now that’s just sad.
*They are then faced with two higher ranked Baroque Works agents, Mr. 5 aka Gem and Miss Valentine aka Mikita.*
Igarappoi: Mr. 5! Miss Valentine!
Gem: Really. Can’t you do your jobs?
Mikita: Kyahahaha. Well that’s clearly the difference between our rank and yours.
Igarappoi: You came here just to laugh at us?
Gem: Nah. That’s a bonus.
Mikita: Kyahahaha! We’re here under the Boss’s orders.
Mr. 9: Hahahaha! With you guys here to fight, we can finally defeat him. He doesn’t stand a chance against you.
Miss Wednesday: That’s right! Let’s track him down and show him what Baroque Works can really do!
Gem: Seriously, Miss Wednesday, stop with the jokes. We didn’t come here to clean up your mess.
Mikita: You really think that we’d come all the way here to hold your hands? You’re even more pitiful than you look.
Mr. 9: But… But then what mission are you here for?
Gem: You mean you haven’t figured it out? There are people here who’s crimes against the company are grave enough that the Boss has sent us to deal with ‘em.
Mr. 9: Huh?
Gem: He said someone had learned his secrets. I don’t know what secrets exactly, and I don’t wanna know. Obviously, someone else did. But knowing them is against company rules. Our motto is mystery. Everyone’s identity is to be kept strictly secret, no matter who they are. And if someone’s dumb enough to nose around the Boss’s business, well then, that’s a crime punishable by death.
Mikita: So, while we were conducting our search to find out who had uncovered the Boss’s secrets, we learned something. Kyahahaha! It turns out a rather high ranking individual from a certain kingdom has somehow managed to infiltrate Baroque Works.
*Nami overhears their conversation.*
Mr. 9: A kingdom?! Wait, wait, hold on a second! I may be wearing a crown, but I’m not a king or anything like that, I swear. It’s just an innocent little hobby.
Mikita: Shut up you idiot.
Gem: You still don’t get it. We need the people from Alabasta. They’re the ones who angered the Boss.
Igarappoi: They know…! It’s all over now. Die! Igarappappa!
*Igarappoi shoots at both of the agents with the guns in his hair.*
Igarappoi: You will not lay a hand upon our princess! Not while the captain of Alabasta security still stands!
Miss Wednesday: Igaram!
Gem: Igaram, captain of Alabasta Security and Princess Nefertari Vivi of Alabasta Kingdom, we have come here in the name of the Boss of Baroque Works, to see that you are both eliminated.
*Mr. 5 holds a picture of Miss Wednesday, who is actually Nefertari Vivi, the princess of the Alabasta Kingdom. Zoro watches them all from above on the roof.*