Adventure Guys

*Not long after departing from the Twin Capes, the Straw Hat Pirates sail towards their next destination: Whiskey Peak. Onboard with them are Mr. 9 and Miss Wednesday. Who are traveling with them to Whiskey Peak, their home. But now they’re in the Open Sea, sailing conditions are different than what they have been used to. Right now, it is somehow snowing outside.*
Nami: Can someone please tell me why it’s snowing? It was hot and sunny a few minutes ago.
*Luffy finishes building a snowman with a barrel on its head.*
Luffy: Perfect! All done! Well, look who just dropped in. It’s Mr. Snow Barrel!
Morbius: Ah, man. Your snowman looks way better than mine.
*He shows Luffy his snowman. Which has pieces of garbage on it.*
Luffy: Man, you suck at building snowmen.
Morbius: Cut me some slack, I’ve never built one before ok.
Luffy: Why?
Morbius: Because I was too sick and disabled to have strength to do it!
Luffy: Think I’m calling that one Rotten. Rotten the Snowman!
Usopp: Hahahaha! You amateurs! You can call those pathetic blobs snowmen?
Luffy and Morbius: What?!
*They see Usopp’s snowman. Or in this case, snow woman.*
Usopp: Behold, a soulful inspired work of art. The Snow Queen!
Morbius: She’s hot! Or uh, Coldth?
Luffy: Whoa! Nice! But can your lady do this?!
*Luffy pushes one of his snowman’s stick arms toward, launching it and hitting the snow woman’s head. This pissed Usopp off.*
Usopp: What the hell do ya think you’re doing?!
*He kicks the head of Luffy’s snowman off.*
Luffy: Hey, you big bully!
*Luffy grabs the head of Morbius’s snowman and throws it at Usopp.*
Morbius: My snowman!
*The three of them fight each other with snowballs and snow boulders.*
Nami: How can they be so freaking energetic in the freezing cold is beyond me.
*Sanji uses a shovel to remove most of the snow off the ship.*
Sanji: Nami! Shall I shovel some more for you?
Nami: Just keep going till it’s gone! Doing great!
Sanji: Thank you! My pleasure!
Mr. 9: Excuse me. Doesn’t this ship have a heater? This environment is inhumane!
Miss Wednesday: I’m cold!
Nami: Shut your mouths! You’re not guests here! You wanna warm up, go shovel snow or something!
*All of the sudden, lightning appears in the sky.*
Nami: Lightning?! First snow, now lightning! What’s going on with this weather?! I’ve never seen anything like it. One minute it’s a cloudless sky, the next it’s a blizzard. It’s like the normal rules of nature don’t apply. Just like Crocus warned us.
Miss Wednesday: So what do you think? Ready to turn back yet?
Mr. 9: You and your friends have no idea how to survive this place.
Miss Wednesday: I noticed you haven’t steered for a while. Is that wise?
Nami: I know our heading. I just checked it a while ago.
*But as Nami double checks their heading…*
Nami: Aaaaaahhhhh!
Usopp: Huh? What’s wrong?!
Morbius: An iceberg heading towards us or something?
Luffy: Sounds mad.
Sanji: Don’t be afraid! I’ll save you!
Nami: No way! Make a hard turn! 180 degrees! Hurry!
Usopp: A 180?! Why would you want us to turn back?!
Luffy: Did you forget something?
Nami: The ship has turned around! We’re sailing in the wrong direction!
Morbius: What? How?
Nami: I only took my eyes off the Log Pose for a second! I thought the waves were calm.
Miss Wednesday: You’re not a very good navigator, are you? You can’t trust anything here. Not the winds, sky, waves, clouds. Nothing is as it seems in the sea. The only way to get reliable direction on the sea is with the Log Pose. Everyone knows that.
*Nami kicks her and Mr. 9 out of the cabin.*
Nami: Shut your condescending mouths and do something useful around here! Brace the yard! Force the wind starboard! Turn the ship 180 degrees to the left! Usopp, man the lateen sail! Sanji, take the helm!
Sanji: Leave it to me!
*Everyone rushes to get the ship to turn around.*
Nami: Work! You two!
Mr. 9: This girl’s crazy.
Morbius: You heard her, Burger King! Work! Work! Work!
Usopp: Hey, wait! Looks like the wind’s changed!
Nami: Huh?
*The clouds clear away and the sun shines with a spring breeze blowing.*
Mr. 9: The first spring gale!
Nami: You sure?!
*Meanwhile, Zoro has been sleeping.*
Usopp: Yo wake the hell up, snowman! We’re in a crisis!
Zoro: Zzzzzz…
*Everyone runs around the ship as the weather changes.*
Luffy: Hey, I think I just saw a dolphin jump! Let’s follow it!
Nami: You keep quiet!
*The wind begins to pick up speed. The ship then begins sailing toward an iceberg.*
Usopp: The waves are getting really high! And there’s an iceberg ten o’clock! This isn’t good!
*A light fog then begins to fill the air.*
Sanji: A fog’s rolling in!
Nami: This is crazy! What’s going on?!
Morbius: I think god is punishing us! I'M SORRY FOR BEING AN ATHEIST!
Usopp: It’s the end! We’re gonna crash!
*Nami and Sanji try to steer the Going Merry away from the iceberg. They manage to keep it from crashing into the iceberg, but the ship scraps along it.*
Luffy: Nami, water’s coming from the bottom of the Merry!
Nami: Then go patch it!
Usopp: Got it!
*Usopp goes below deck to repair the bilge. But soon enough, the wind blows heavily once more.*
Nami: The wind is picking up.
Morbius: Again?!
*Storm clouds begin to roll across the sky.*
Nami: Quick we gotta hurry!
Luffy: Big time.
Miss Wednesday: No…
*The ship begins to move closer into the storm.*
Nami: Pull in the sails! The wind is too strong! We’re gonna overturn!
*Sanji brings out a plate of rice cakes.*
Sanji: Everyone needs to eat to keep their strength up.
*Everyone begins eating. Afterwards. The main sail tears a little.*
Usopp: Oh crap! The sail’s gonna tear!
Usopp: Forget about that, fix the leak!
Miss Wednesday: There’s another part of the ship damaged below!
Usopp: Dammit!
Morbius: ARE YOU KIDDING ME!?

*Hours later, everyone has successfully managed to sail out of the storm. The water remains calm for now. All the work Luffy and the others did has made them tired. Zoro, who slept through everything, wakes up as the weather is normal.*
Zoro: All rested.
*He sees everyone laying on the deck, all exhausted from sailing through the storm.*
Zoro: Come on, the weather’s nice and all, but that’s no reason to be lazy. We’d better be on the right track, that’s all I can say.
All: Shut up, you bastard!
*He then notices Mr. 9 and Miss Wednesday on the floor with them. As he was also asleep when they came aboard the Merry to sail to Whiskey Peak.*
Zoro: What are you two doing here?
Mr. 9: You fool!
Luffy: We’re on a side mission to take them home.
Morbius: Kinda like in a video game. You know the ones where it's open world.
Luffy: Their town’s called Whiskey Peak.
Zoro: Since when did we become a transport service for thugs? We don’t owe them anything.
Luffy: I don’t know.
Morbius: We couldn’t just leave this nice young beautiful lady with no way to get back home and… that other fella.
Zoro: Why did I even ask? So, tell me. What were your strange names again? Cause I don’t think you can be trusted.
Mr. 9: Uh, well my name is Mr. 9!
Miss Wednesday: I’m called Miss Wednesday.
Zoro: Right, you know those names sound familiar, and that’s what’s bothering me. In fact… the more I think about it, the more I’m certain I’ve heard them somewhere before.
*Mr. 9 and Miss Wednesday look worried.*
Zoro: Or maybe I have-
*Nami hits Zoro over the head.*
Zoro: Ow!
Nami: You jerk! You think you can just sleep while we do all the work! You’re lucky we didn’t toss your lazy ass overboard!
*She then proceeds to beat Zoro up more, giving him a few bumps on the head.*
Nami: Listen up, everyone! There’s no way to know what’s gonna happen next. During the terror most of us just experienced, I came to an understanding of why this sea is dangerous. My navigation skills are useless here, anything can happen, but mark my words, I will guide us through.
Usopp: Um, ok. You sure about that Nami?
Nami: Without a doubt! We’re gonna be fine just wait and see! Speaking of which, we’re here! Our first journey across the Open Sea comes to an end.
*Everyone sees an island in the distance that looks like a cactus floating in water.*
Luffy: It’s an island!
Sanji: So this is Whiskey Peak. The landscape is unlike anything I’ve ever seen.
Morbius: This is not at all what I thought it would look like. Where's the whiskey!?
Luffy: Whoa. Those cactus are humongous.
*Mr. 9 and Miss Wednesday stand on the railing of the ship.*
Mr. 9: Thank you, but we must be leaving.
Miss Wednesday: It’s been an interesting ride to say the least.
Mr. 9: Perhaps we’ll meet again someday!
Mr. 9 and Miss Wednesday: Bye bye, baby!
*They then jump into the water and swim away.*
Nami: That’s a quick exit.
Usopp: I guess we’ll never learn what those nut jobs were up to.
Morbius: HEY COME BACK! Aw man. I didn’t even get to say goodbye to the woman… Miss Wednesday… I wonder what she was li-
Luffy: Aw, who cares! We’re landing!
*The ship follows a waterway right near the shore of the island.*
Nami: Well, there’s a waterway right up to the shoreline. It looks like we can go inland by ship.
Usopp: Um, I’m weighing the possibility of monsters out there.
Sanji: It’s definitely a possibility. This is the Open Sea.
Morbius: With all the freaky shit we encounter on a near daily basis, I wouldn’t be surprised.
Luffy: No problem. If we find monsters, we can just leave.
Nami: That’s not true. According to what Crocus said, it’s imperative we stay on this island, at least for a little while.
Luffy: But why?
Nami: The Log Pose needs enough time to record the island’s magnetic field. So, until that’s done, we have to stay put. The Log Pose can require a different amount of time for each island. Some will take a few hours, others may take several days. And I suppose the same rules apply if it guides us back to one of the continents.
Usopp: Suppose this island is crawling with monsters, but we get stuck here waiting. That’s stupid. We’d be done for! What’s the point of gathering navigation coordinates if you’re dead?
Nami: We’re staying.
Luffy: Let’s not think about the monsters till we have to. They’re not even there.
Zoro: As strange as this seems I agree. There’s no need to worry yet.
Morbius: Yeah. If there are, I just pray there aren’t any the size of Godzilla or something. I mean they should all be underground… I hope.
Sanji: Now that that’s settled. Let’s get going, and I’ll keep you safe Nami.
Usopp: I don’t think I’m gonna be able to make it. It’s this cold. It’s a condition really. You guys should just go on without me.
Nami: Alright, get ready and make sure you’re prepared to run, as well as fight.
Usopp: In fact, it’s commonly referred to as “Don’t Go to the Island” disease. Heard of it? No?
Morbius: In my professional opinion… that's some bullshit.
*They sail deeper into the waterway, surrounded by a thick fog.*
Sanji: What’s waiting for us out there?
Usopp: Please don’t let us die!

*Along the shoreline, some people see the Going Merry sailing.*
Man 1: Hey, it’s a pirate ship.
Man 2: A new group of pirates are here.

*Luffy sees something moving through the fog.*
Luffy: Something’s moving over there.
*Human shaped silhouettes appear in the fog.*
Sanji: Who are they?
Morbius: I don’t know, but I don’t like it.
Nami: Now be on your guard, everyone.
Usopp: Well, I may have to fight monsters, but at least I came prepared! Whoever’s out there, I’m ready! Show yourself and face my wrath!
*As soon as the fog disappears, they are able to see everything. They all see a town along the shore and its people are all cheering for them.*
Townsperson 1: Welcome to the sea!
Townsperson 2: Greetings and good tidings, brave travelers!
Townsperson 3: We’re happy to have you here in Whiskey Peak!
Usopp: Why, those aren’t monsters, they’re people and they actually seem happy we’re here.
Morbius: Wasn't expecting this.
Luffy: Hahahaha!
Sanji: What the hell’s wrong with ‘em?
Townsperson 4: Pirates are always welcome in our town!
Townsperson 5: Hurray for the heroes of the sea!
Sanji: Oh, yeah! I’ve never seen so many cute girls in one place!
Usopp: I guess some folks consider pirates to be heroes. Who knew?! Man, I should have come here ages ago!
Morbius: What kind of island welcomes pirates with open arms?
Luffy: Hey! Hahahaha!

*The Straw Hats dock their ship along the shore to meet with the townspeople.*
???: Welc- *cough* Ma ma ma. Welcome! My name is Igarappoi, and it is my honor as mayor to welcome you to Whiskey Peak.
Luffy: Oh, great! I’m Luffy. Nice to meet you. Nice hair. I like the curls.
Morbius: Kinda looks like one of those powdered wigs… like the George Washington or that one episode of Spongebob.
Igarappoi: You’ll find that this place that thrives on making liquor and music. Hospitality is a matter of pride in our town. The smiles run long, and the liquor flows as bountiful as seawater. Would you permit us to throw a party in honor of your arrival so that we may hear- *cough* Ma ma ma. Your tales of adventure?
Morbius and Usopp: With pleasure!
Luffy and Sanji: Be glad to!
Nami: Idiots. By the way, how long until the Log Pose records this island’s magnetic field?
Igarappoi: Log what? Oh. Such boring details will have to keep for now. Surely you’d like to rest after your journey. Now, let’s prepare to party! Sing and be merry! Entertain our guests!
*But as the people of Whiskey Peak cheer for their new guests, the Unluckies, Mr. 13 and Miss Friday, watch the town from afar on a rock ledge.*

*Later that night, Luffy and his crew party with the citizens of Whiskey Peak.*
Usopp: Then I looked ‘em straight in the eye and I said, “Sea Kings, you don’t dare touch my friends, or you’ll have to answer to me.”
Women: Oh, wow! You’re amazing, Captain Usopp!
Usopp: Well, even I trembled when facing the deadly landscape of the Calm Belt. Trembled with excitement, that is.
Townsperson 1: Really,
Townsperson 2: You’re a true hero!
*Igarappoi offers Nami a mug of some kind of beverage.*
Igarappoi: Please, don’t hold back on my account. Drink up!
Nami: Uh, no. Thanks, but I’m not drinking.
Igarappoi: Don’t worr- *cough* Ma ma ma. Don’t you worry. When you have there is a very special drink. Made by using only the very sweetest premium grapes. It contains all the flavorful benefits of a fine wine, but zero alcohol.
Nami: I see.
*Nami takes a sip.*
Nami: Yeah, you’re right! It’s delicious!
Igarappoi: We had an excellent grape harvest this year. Now: to celebrate that harvest, our traditional toast competition! It’s simple. Make a toast, take a drink. This continues for as long as you can hold your liquor. Last one standing is the winner. Join us!
Nami: No, thanks. You go ahead. I’d rather watch the completion.
Igarappoi: Did I mention that the prize is $100,000?!
Nami: Then fill’er up! Zoro! Stand up and join us! You need the money, don’t you?!
Zoro: Huh?
*The whole crew drinks and eats all the food the people have to offer them. Zoro in particular drinks a lot of booze.*
Townsperson 3: Whoa! That’s his 10th mug!
Townsperson 4: That’s it! I’m done!
Zoro: Good.
Townsperson 5: That girl’s drinking ‘em under the table with mug number 12!
Nami: More!
Luffy: Give me more!
Townsperson 6: Unbelievable! The Captain just finished a meal fit for 20 people!
*The chef passes out.*
Townsperson 7: The cook is down!
Chef: Good night.
*Sanji’s surrounded by lots of women.*
Townsperson 8: Whoa! This pirate’s trying to hit on 20 girls at the same time!
Townsperson 9: That pirate's doing karaoke!
Morbius: ♫And I must confess that my loneliness♫
♫Is killin' me now♫
♫I must confess, I still believe♫
♫Don't you know I still believe♫
♫That you will be here and give me a SIGN?♫
♫Hit me baby one more TIME!♫
*He then does a Korean Pop pose as a victory pose.*
Morbius: THANK YOU!
*He then Throws the mic down.*
Townsperson 7: We don’t stand a chance with these pirates!
Igarappoi: Hahahaha! This is truly a fun- *cough* Ma ma ma. A fun filled night! It pleases me to see you all enjoying the celebration with such vigor! Hahahahaha!
*He then smiles sinisterly.*
Igarappoi: Oh, yes, indeed. I’m quite pleased.

*Meanwhile, on another part of the island, Mr. 9 and Miss Wednesday write a letter to their boss in their house.*
Mr. 9: We do formally admit complete failure in our mission to secure food. However, it should be duly noted that without the slightest concern for our well-being, we bravely succeed in leading the gang to Cactus Island. Sincerely, and with best regards, etc., etc. baby. There, that’ll do. Now, we submit this and with any luck all is forgiven.
Miss Wednesday: Right. I’ll drop it in the Unluckies’ box immediately.
*Miss Wednesday then drops the letter into a mailbox.*
Miss Wednesday: They’ll deliver it to the boss for us. I hope it works.

*Zoro finishes another drink.*
Zoro: I’m calling it quits. Need to get some sleep.
*He then passes out and lays his head on a table.*
Townsperson 1: That one’s finally dish after drinking 13 mugs!
Nami: Aw, come on! You quitn’ already Zoro? You wuss.
Townsperson 2: Only two left, and they’re both women!
Townsperson 3: 15 mug! Pirate vs Sister!
Nun: My child, forfeit for your own sake, there’s no disgrace.
Nami: Ha? Well, I appreciate the concern, Sister, but you’re not getting me to quit that easy. Hahahaha!
*Luffy falls over his chair, his stomach stuffed with food.*
Luffy: This is a new feeling. I think it’s full.
*Three more chefs pass out.*
Townsperson 4: Three cooks are down!
Chef: Glad to hear it. Thanks.
*The nun that Nami is competing against passes out after she finishes her 15th mug.*
Nun: I’m out.
Nami: I win! Hahahaha! The prize money’s mine!
*Nami then passes out.*
Townsperson 5: She’s finally down!
Morbius: I can totally do this!
Drunk Guy: Okay. Then do it!
*He gives Morbius a knife. And then puts his hands down and he spreads his fingers to give space in between. Morbius then starts to stab the knife in between the spaces of the fingers… Then he moves faster. And faster… Faster! FASTER! Then accidentally stabs the guy’s hand.*
Drunk Guy: AAAHHH! SHIT!
Morbius: Hey, you shouldn't have trusted me, I'm kind of… *yawn* drowsy…
*Morbius falls asleep on the floor.*
Townsperson 6: So is he!
Usopp: Whiskey Peak! What a marvelous town!
Sanji: We’ve stumbled upon paradise!

*After the party, all of the Straw Hats are worn out and are sleeping.*
Igarappoi: They’ve worn themselves out partying and are fast asleep. Sweet dreams, brave adventurers.
*He looks up at the night sky.*
Igarappoi: My, how the Cactus Rocks gleam under the pale moonlight. Beautiful as ever.
Mr. 9: If I may say, your poetic skills are beyond compare, Igarappoi. I mean, Mr. 8.
Igarappoi: Oh, it’s you.
Miss Wednesday: So where are they?
Igarappoi: They’re falling… straight to hell.
*The nun Nami outdrank joins them.*
Nun: Damn my head is killing me. Our guests didn’t have the good taste to pass out gracefully, so I doctored their drinks a little. Otherwise, they’d still be up drinking us all into oblivion. So, tell me. Was it really necessary to put on this elaborate show for those idiots?
*She takes off her nun clothes, which was just a disguise.*
Miss Monday: I get that nobody wants to hear me whine, but it’s my duty to point out the amount of food we wasted, when we could’ve just ambushed them at the harbor. It’s not like anyone had high hopes for that whale meat or anything.
Mr. 9: Well, why don’t you go try and kill that damn whale?! We tried our best, you know.
Igarappoi: Both of you call yourselves! Before you question the validity of my plan, you should see these.
*Igarappoi holds up Luffy and Morbius’s wanted posters to them.*
All: What?! $53,000,000?!
Mr. 9: For those morons?!
Igarappoi: Don’t be foolish. Appearances can be deceiving. That goes for- *cough* Ma ma ma. That goes for all of you.
Miss Monday: I’m sorry.
Igarappoi: It’s no matter, our prey has been trapped. And that’s news the boss will enjoy. For now, confiscate everything of value from their ship.
Miss Monday: So what do we do with them now?
Mr. 9: Kill them?
Igarappoi: If they die, the bounty drops 30%. The government prefers to hold public executions. Now, go! I want them alive!
Zoro: Hey. Sorry to interrupt.
*They are shocked to see Zoro on top of a building. Awake and sober.*
Zoro: Do you mind lettin’ my friends sleep? They’ve had a long day, and the journey was exhausting, so I’ve been told.
*Several of the citizens join them.*
Townsperson: Hey, Mr. 8! Miss Monday! One of them escaped from the room when we weren’t looking!
Miss Wednesday: He’s right over there!
Igarappoi: Sneaky wretch! You should’ve stayed asleep with your friends!
Zoro: A good swordsman never makes the mistake of letting his guard down. Plus, I took a nap earlier. Judging by the scowls and cheap disguises, I’m guessing you’re all bounty hunters. Your speciality is robbing drunk pirates who fall for your hospitality. It’s original, I’ll give you that at least. I count a hundred of you scumbags, give or take. And I’ll fight all of you, you hear me, Baroque Works?!
Igarappoi: Ah! How do you know our name?!
Zoro: I was in a similar line of work once upon a time. Your company tried to entice me with a job offer. Naturally, I said no. Do the same rules still apply? Employee identities kept secret, cheesy code names. The boss’ identity and whereabouts also a mystery. Baroque Works: The criminal group that faithfully carries out their orders like herd sheep. That’s some secret.
Igarappoi: This is a surprise. If you know all of our secrets, then we are left with no other choice but to kill you. And another gravestone shall be added to the cactus rocks tonight.
*Zoro pieces together that the would be spikes on the cactus rocks on the island are actually tombstones.*
Igarappoi: Kill him!
*But Zoro disappears suddenly, shocking them all.*
Miss Wednesday: He… disappeared!