Hazbin Hotel part 7
*The next day, Zoro, Nami, Usopp and Sanji return to the Going Merry after another round of searching the island.*
Usopp: Where could those two have gone?
Nami: We’ve searched just about every inch of this island.
Zoro: We can’t leave without them. We’ll just have to keep looking.
Sanji: Hate to say it, but he’s right. We can’t sail a pirate ship without a captain.
Usopp: Well, what do you expect us to do now, huh?! It’s not like they’re gonna fall out of the sky!
*Suddenly, Luffy and Morbius fall from the sky and land on Usopp. Having returned to the living world.*
Usopp: Guess I was wrong…
Luffy: Zoro! Nami! Sanji! Wait, where’s Usopp?
Usopp: Underneath you…
Morbius: Oops, sorry about that.
*They get off him.*
Luffy: Ah, it feels good to be back.
Morbius: Yeah. Clear blue skies, the smell of the sea, the feel of the gentle breeze. It’s nice to be back-
*Nami hits them both over the head.*
Nami: Where the hell have you guys been?!
Luffy: Ow! You didn’t have to hit us, Nami!
Morbius: We were trapped in hell. Literally.
Zoro: Huh?
Sanji: What are you talking about?
Luffy: We got trapped in hell for a bit and now we’re back.
Zoro: … Like a really horrible place?
Morbius: No, not a horrible place that's comparable to hell, the actual biblical realm of hell. with brimstone!
Luffy: Demons!
Morbius: Though not that much fire and a little more civilized.
Nami: Please tell me you’re not serious.
Morbius: It's real! We went on this crazy trip to the afterlife where all the sinners go! Its real! We literally went to hell!
Luffy: We met this princess lady that owns this hotel that helps make bad people good, a deer guy with a sunny radio voice, and some talking spider that talked funny.
*They all look clueless.*
Morbius: Long story short, we met the princess of hell and became friends with her I think.
Sanji: A princess? Was she hot!?
Morbius: Goddam- you- frickin’, ugh…
Usopp: Was that all you took away from that?
Morbius: Sorry, Sanji but... She’s taken.
Sanji: NO!
Morbius: Taken by another woman As a matter of fact, so you had more competition
Sanji: No fair! I don’t have a chance with her…
Zoro: Not like you did to begin with.
Sanji: What’d you say, Mosshead?!
Zoro: I'm saying it's stupid to go after a girl whose in the afterlife!
Sanji: Oh screw you!
*They get into a fight*
Nami: What was that about a hotel?
Usopp: Something about making bad people good?
Morbius: I think it’d make more sense if you knew the full context.
*Back in Hell, three overlord demons hold a meeting in Porn Studios.*
Valentino: Boy, this year’s extermination was a mess. I’ve lost several employees.
Vox: Oh, don’t worry about that. They’re easily replaceable.
Valentino: I suppose. It’s just a hassle to hire new bitches and hoes to work for us.
Velvette: Oh, I think there’s something much more interesting to discuss than the extermination right now. For example.
*She then shows a video of Luffy and Morbius on social media during the territory battle between Sir Pentious and Cherri Bomb.*
Vox: Holy shit…
Valentino: Non sinners in hell?
Velvette: They’ve been trending since last night.
Valentino: How the fuck did they get down here?
Velvette: How should I know? I’m just sharing what I saw.
Vox: However they got here, it proves something. If some living nobodies can travel to hell and not die, then us demons can travel back to the living world.
Valentino: But we don’t even know how they got down here to begin with. Or if they’re still in hell.
Vox: Patience, Val. We’ll discover how they got here. But for now, we’ve got more important things to be concerned about.
Velvette: Indeed…
*She holds up a severed head of a dead exorcist angel.*
*Later*
Luffy: And then we met this talking owl guy that brought us back here.
Morbius: And that’s what happened.
Nami: That sure was… interesting.
Usopp: Are you guys sure that wasn’t a dream?
Morbius: How could it have been a dream? Both Luffy and I experienced it together. We have shared memories that we can't possibly coordinate to make up. Luffy doesn't think like that. And you know he's a terrible liar.
Luffy: Huh?
Sanji: This Charlie girl sounds so delightful. I don’t care if she’s the devil’s daughter, she is most exquisite.
Nami: Is that seriously the only part you paid attention to, Sanji?
Zoro: And so you’re friends with demons or whatever?
Luffy: Yup. And we get to go back down there again.
Nami: Wait, what?
Morbius: Oh yeah, we agreed to give lessons on how to better yourself at Charlie’s hotel.
Usopp: You made a deal with the devil’s daughter?! What were you thinking?!
Morbius: Well she asked nicely…
Luffy: She said she would help us get back here, I figured it was only fair.
Usopp: Fair?! You gave your souls to her!
Morbius: Calm down, dude! We didn’t give her anything. Me and Luffy just need to go back down to Hell when Charlie gives us a call and help with whatever lesson she has planned for the occupants in the hotel. No soul exchange required.
Zoro: And you trust her?
Luffy: She’s not a bad guy. She sang a song about it and everything.
Nami: Are you guys sure this is a good idea?
Morbius: Don’t worry, we’ll be fine.
Sanji: Just out of curiosity, how are you guys supposed to back down to hell?
Luffy: Oh, crap! The magic rock!
Zoro: The what?
Morbius: The crystal we found that sent us to hell in the first place. We’re supposed to keep it so we can travel there. Shit, now we gotta find it again.
Usopp: Wait, was this crystal red?
Luffy: Yeah.
Usopp: I think I have it.
*Usopp pulls the Asmodian Crystal out of his bag.*
Usopp: This it?
Morbius: Yes, that’s it!
Luffy: Give it here!
*Luffy tries to take it.*
Usopp: Hey, wait! I found it!
Luffy: Well, we found it before you!
*Nami grabs it out of Usopp’s hand.*
Nami: I’ll take that.
Morbius: No! That’s our ticket to hell!
Nami: Calm down, I’m not gonna sell it for money or anything. I just think something like this belongs in the hands of someone responsible. And that certainly isn’t either of you.
Luffy: But that’s ours!
Nami: And I’ll be holding onto it for safe keeping. When you guys need to take a trip down to hell or whatever, just come to me and you can use it.
Morbius: Fine.
Sanji: Hey, by any chance can you take me with you next time you go to hell?
Luffy: Well, now that we’re back, let’s leave this place and set sail!
Sanji: Well can you at least ask Charlie to come to sail with us!?
Morbius: She's a busy princess with a ton of responsibility on top of the hotel, I don't think she'll be able to join the crew even if she wanted to.
Sanji: BUT THERE'S ALWAYS A WAY!
Morbius: I just said she's a busy princess…
Sanji: Maybe in an alternate universe!?
Morbius: Maybe… but not this one.
Sanji: LIFE IS UNFAIR!!!!
*Meanwhile in Hell, Sir Pentious climbs out of the crater of where his warship exploded.*
Egg Boi: Now will you shoot me with your ray gun?
Starring
Charlie Morningstar: Erika Henningsen
Angel Dust: Blake Roman
Vaggie: Stephanie Beatriz
Alastor/Tom Trench: Amir Talai
Monkey D. Luffy: Colleen Clinkenbeard
Morbius: Jared Leto
Sir Pentious: Alex Brightman
Katie Killjoy: Brandon Rogers
Cherry Bomb: Krystina Alabado
Husk: Keith David
Nifty: Kimiko Glenn
Valentino: Joel Perez
Vox: Christian Borle
Velvette: Lilli Cooper