Adventure Guys

On the distant planet Cybertron live autonomous living robots known as the Transformers. Once it was a peaceful planet. But now, it has been locked in a war that has lasted millions of years. The war between the Autobots and the Decepticons still rages to this day.*

*A large Decepticon army has cornered a small group of Autobots into a corner when trying to get to a launch tower.*
Ratchet: They've broken through the front lines!
Arcee: I've lost contact with the capital!
Wheeljack: There's too many of them!
Brawn: Stand fast!
*Brawn gets shot by a group of Decepticon Seekers.*
Ironhide: Brawn!
Decepticon Seeker: Finish them!
*But they are shot and killed by the Autobot’s leader, Optimus Prime.*
Optimus Prime: Where's B-127?
*A yellow Cybertronian car rams into a seeker and transforms into a robot. The seeker breaks the fall and the yellow Autobot kicks it’s head that hits another seeker in the face.*
B-127: Sorry I'm late. I hit a little traffic.
Brawn: Get down! Incoming!
B-127: Uh, Optimus.
*High ranking Decepticon commanders Soundwave, Starscream and Shockwave, appear in the front lines of the battle.*
Soundwave: Decepticons, attack!
Optimus: Autobots, fall back! Get to the tower!
*Optimus and the remaining Autobots start retreating to the tower.*
Thundercracker: They’re getting away!
Shockwave: Destroy the launch pad! Let none escape!
*Starscream transforms into a cybertronian jet and flies to the launch tower with 2 other seekers, Skywarp and Thrust.*

*The Autobots manage to make it to the top of the launch tower.*
Optimus: Cybertron has fallen. Get to the escape pods. There are other Autobots scattered across the galaxy. We must reach them if we hope to survive.
*They start to get into escape pods to leave Cybertron.*
B-127: Optimus, this is our home. We have to fight for it.
*Starscream and the other seekers reach the tower.*
Optimus: We will fight on. But we must find refuge first. I found a planet that's well hidden. Earth. You will travel there and establish a base for us. Once we've gathered the others, we'll join you. You must protect the planet. If the Decepticons find it, then our people are truly finished. Now go!
*The seekers reach to the top of the tower and transform into the robot modes.*
Starscream: Death to the Autobots!
*They all launch missiles at the bottom of the tower, causing it to collapse.*
Optimus: Good luck, soldier. I'll buy you some time.
*Optimus shoots at other seekers in the sky that try to destroy the escape pods leaving the planet. He then jumps onto a seeker before the tower is completely destroyed. B-127 watches Optimus keep fighting as he flees from Cybertron.*

*In a forest on Earth, a small army group treads carefully. But one of them gets caught in a trap and is hanged upside down. Other soldiers appear and shoot them with paint balls.*
Danny: Ow! Ow! Ow! Okay, okay! I'm dead already, man!
Jack Burns: Oh, not just you. Being the overachiever that you are, you managed to get your whole squad killed, Danny. Bravo.
Danny: Come on, man. Those things sting.
Burns: What things? These things?
*He Shoots him.*
Danny: Ow!
Burns: You know, I wouldn't know. I haven't been hit yet.
*He shoots him again.*
Danny: Ow! Okay, you know what? That's too close, man. You could've taken out an eye. I got a date tonight, man. This ain't sexy!
Burns. You're right. I'm sorry.
*And again.*
Danny: Ow!
Burns: That one was on me.
*And again.*
Burns: That's a malfunctioning trigger.
*And again.*
Burns: This weapon is just faulty. Someone is going to get a talking to.
Danny: Man, would you stop? All right, just stop. I should've let you die in Grenada.
Burns: If you did, we wouldn't be able to come to the forest, run around and play these awesome games.
Danny: Exactly.
*Burns cuts him down.*
Danny: Oh, I hate you.
Burns: Wow, man, that hurts. 'Cause I love you. But you refuse to let it in 'cause you got intimacy issues. A therapist will probably tell you you weren't hugged enough as a kid.
*He sees something falling from the sky and heading towards them.*
Burns: Look, man. Danny, I know I look stupid, but…
Danny: Hey, yo, take cover!
*The object crashes next to them. But in the process, it injured some soldiers.*
Burns: Danny. You okay?
Danny: Uh, yeah, man.
*Burns radios for help.*
Burn: This is Agent Jack Burns. I need medical up here now. We have a projectile strike in the northwest corner of the training course. Multiple injuries. And would someone please explain to me why you dropped napalm on your own guys!
Soldier 1: Negative. There are no live fire drills in the northwest sector.
Burns: What the hell hit us, then?
*The smoke clears and it’s revealed to be B-127 that crashed in the forest.*
Soldier 2: Target on your right!
*Another group of soldiers appear with real guns and ammunition. B-127 scans a nearby 1991 Jeep Wrangler and runs away.*
Burns: I need all of you to fan out and track that thing down now!
*Burns gets into one of the jeeps and leads the chase for B-127. He transforms into the jeep he scanned and drives away.*
Burns: What the hell? Take it down!
*One of the jeeps fires a metal harpoon at B-127, causing him to get knocked off the road.*
Burns: Get down there now and flush that thing out!
*He continues to run away, with the soldiers shooting guns and missiles at him. He cuts some trees with a mini blade in his arm to block the path. He reaches an abandoned mine but is caught up by more soldiers.*
B-127: Oh, no.
*He flips on his battle mask and runs to the mine.*
Burns: It's going for the mine! Cut it off!
*Just as he gets to the tunnel, a jeep crashes into him. He is then surrounded by all the soldiers. Most of his core systems damaged.*
B-127: Please. This is a mistake.
Burns: Stay cool. Hold your fire.
B-127: I don't want to hurt anyone.
*They all see a McDonnell Douglas F-4 Phantom Jet flying in the sky.*
B-127: Who called in the Air Force?
B-127: That's not the Air Force. Run.
*The jet fires missiles at them. Injuring most of the human soldiers. It then transforms into the Decepticon seeker, Blitzwing. He rams B-127 onto the side of the mountain.*
Blitzwing: Did you think you could hide?
*He gets free from Blitzwing’s grip and engages in combat. But the seeker’s size poses a problem for the young scout.*
Blitzwing. Now you'll die screaming. Like your friends!
*B-127 rams himself into Blitzwing, knocking him down. He then attempts to stab him, but Blitzwing flies and dodges his blade. He then grabs B-127 and flies up the mountain. B-127 manages to damage Blitzwing’s thrusters, causing both to fall onto the mountain’s peak. But Blitzwing transforms his arm into a subsonic gun and shoots him. Before B-127 can fall off the edge, Blitzwing grabs him.*
Blitzwing: Tell me where your friends are hiding.
B-127: I'll never talk.
Blitzwing: Is that right?
*Blitzwing transforms his hand into a blade.*
Blitzwing: Then let's make it official.
*He uses it to tear out B-127’s voice box, taking away his ability to speak and drops him. B-127 falls down the mountain, badly damaged. Blitzwing flies down and grabs him by the throat.*
Blitzwing: B-127. As a member of the Autobot resistance, you are a traitor to Cybertron and are hereby sentenced to death.
*B-127 tears off some arm plating on Blitzwing and stabs him with one of his missiles.*
Blitzwing: No! No!
*He then turns his hand into a shotgun and shoots the missile, blowing up and killing Blitzwing. Burns sees him walking away.*

*B-127 collapses on a creek, with his memory cells failing. He scans a nearby 1967 Volkswagen Beetle Type 1 before he shuts down.*

*In San Francisco, the Straw Hat Pirates have their ship docked at a port a few days after leaving Lougetown. They wake up early in the morning.*
Luffy: Is it morning already?
Usopp: Why did we have to wake up this early?
Nami: Because the nearest grocery stores are far away. Which will take a while for us to get there on foot.
Zoro: Zzzzz…
Sanji: Isn’t anyone gonna wake up moss head?
Morbius: I'd rather not. He almost choked me last time I did.
Nami: Just leave him. He can watch over the Merry while we’re gone.
Usopp: There’s no way I can do this routine every time we visit a place with a big city.
Morbius: I agree. It's quite inconvenient we have to walk long distances every time. Especially this early in the morning. We need a solution.
Luffy: We could get a car.
Morbius: Luffy, come on that's totally ridi- well, actually, that's not a bad idea.
Nami: Getting a car?
Morbius: Yeah. That's the whole point, we can travel faster and cut time.
Usopp: But none of us have a driver’s license.
Luffy: We’re pirates. We don’t need that to drive a car.
Nami: Do you guys know how crazy this idea is? They’re expensive. Besides, how would we even fit it on the ship? How would we even get it up here.
Usopp: Yeah, we’re pirates. We sail on ships.
Morbius: We can build some kind of ramp or something for it to drive up and down each time we want to use it. And if you're worried about space and money we just need a small car is all.
Luffy: Please, Nami! Let us buy a car!
Nami: No way! I’m not spending our money on something we don’t need.
Morbius: Please, Nami! We gotta have one! We NEED it!
Luffy and Morbius: Please! Please! Please! Please! Please! Please! Please! Please!
*Nami gets annoyed by them repeatedly asking.*
Nami: Alright, fine!
Luffy: Woo hoo!
Morbius: We’re getting a car!
Luffy: Let’s go buy one now!
Sanji: While you guys are doing that, me and Usopp will go restock on supplies.
Nami: I hope I don’t regret this decision.

*Later that day, Luffy, Nami and Morbius arrive at a Porsche dealership.*
Morbius: No. No, no, no, no! Oh, you got to be kidding me.
Nami: Yeah. I am. You're not getting a Porsche.
Luffy: Hahahahaha!
Morbius: You think that's funny?
Luffy: Yeah, I think it's funny.
Nami: No way am I gonna buy you guys a Porsche. The place we’re buying from is across the street.
*They see a small car dealership with a guy dressed up as a clown spinning a sign.*
Morbius: … I don't want to talk to you for the rest of this trip.
Nami: Have some humor.
Bobby Bolivia: Manny!
Manny: What?
Bolivia: Get your cousin out of that damn clown suit. He's having a heat stroke again. Scaring white folks.
Clown: I'm hot. Makeup's melting. It hurts my eyes.
Morbius: Here? No, no, no, what is this? You said you’d buy us a car, not a piece of crap.
Nami: I never said what kind I’d buy you.
Morbius: Okay, let me explain something to you. Okay? You ever see 40-Year-Old Virgin?
Nami: Yes.
Morbius: Okay, that's what this is. And this is 50-year-old virgin.
Luffy: These cars don’t look cool. But if they can drive, it’s fine by me.
Morbius: Why the hell did you take us to this dealership?
Nami: Because this was the cheapest dealership I could find.
Morbius: You’re so cheap.
*She hits him.*
Nami: You’re lucky you’re getting one at all!
Bolivia: Gentlemen. Bobby Bolivia, like the country, except without the runs. How can I help you?
Luffy: We’re looking to buy a car.
Bolivia: You come to see me?
Morbius: We had to.
Bolivia: That practically makes us family. Uncle Bobby B, baby. Uncle Bobby B.
Morbius: I’m Morbius.
Luffy: And I’m Luffy.
Bolivia: Let me talk to you both. Your first enchilada of freedom awaits underneath one of those hoods. Let me tell you something, son. A driver don't pick the car. The car'll pick the driver. It's a mystical bond between man and machine. Son, I'm a lot of things, but a liar's not one of them. Especially not in front of my mammy. That's my mammy.
*He points to an old woman in front of a house.*
Bolivia: Hey, Mammy!
*She flips him off.*
Boliva: Ooh, don't be like that. If I had a rock, I'd bust your head, bitch. I tell you, man, she deaf, you know? Well, over here, every piece of car a man might want or need.
*Luffy spots a 1977 Chevrolet Camaro Z28.*
Luffy: This ain't bad. This one's got racing stripes.
Morbius: Nice. A Camaro.
Nami: How much?
Bolivia: Well, considering the semi-classic nature of the vehicle, with the slick wheels and the custom paint job-
Morbius: Yeah, but the paint's faded.
Bolivia: Y-yeah, but it's custom.
Morbius: It's custom faded?
Bolivia: Well, this is your first car. I wouldn't expect you to understand. Five grand.
Nami: No, I'm not paying over four. Sorry.
Morbius: No, no, no. You said cars pick their drivers.
Bolivia: Well, sometimes they pick a driver with a cheap-ass girlfriend.
Morbius: She’s not my girlfriend.
Bolivia: Now, this one here for four Gs is a beaut.
*He shows them a 1967 Volkswagen Beetle Type 1.*
Bolivia: This is a classic engine right here.
Morbius: A Volkswagen? Are you kidding me?
*He opens the hood and finds a bee’s nest.*
Morbius: Why is there a nest of Apis mellifera in the engine!
Bolivia: What?
Morbius: Bees!
Luffy: Awesome! A car that makes honey!
Bolivia: Well, it has been sitting in a garage for a while. Tell you what. 4 grand and I’ll sell you this and remove the bee nest.
Morbius: Look, there’s no way-
Luffy: We’ll take it!
Morbius: Damn it, Luffy!
Bolivia: Excellent. I’ll just need you to sign some paperwork and it’s all yours.
*Luffy sits in the driver’s seat.*
Luffy: Our first car!
Morbius: … *hmph* … I guess it's better than nothing.
Luffy: Here’s the keys.
*Luffy puts the keys in the ignition. This turns on the radio.*

*On one of Jupiter’s moons, 2 Decepticon triple changers, Shatter abs Dropkick, are interrogating Autobot soldier Cliffjumper after ripping one of his arms off.*
Shatter: Where is Optimus Prime? He survived the fall of Cybertron. And no rebellion is truly dead until the leader is vanquished. So where is he?
Cliffjumper: My name is Cliffjumper, lieutenant in the Autobot resistance. My safe return will be considered-
*But Dropkick stabs him with a blade.*
Shatter: Wrong answer. We know he's planning to establish a base. Tell us where it is and we'll let you live.
Cliffjumper: My name is Cliffjumper, lieutenant-
*He then twists it. They then hear the Cheers theme coming from Cliffjumper’s radio.*
Cliffjumper: No.
Shatter: That's B-127's signal.
Dropkick: Can you trace it?
Shatter: Already did. If you won't tell us where Prime is, perhaps your young friend will.
Cliffjumper: Never. You're a brave warrior. You deserve a better death. But then again...
*Dropkick then slices Cliffjumper in half vertically, killing him.*
Shatter: Set course for Earth.