Unshared Truths Finally Get The Spotlight
December 11th 1943. 10:36 PM.
"See, told you, they're all idiots," Bucky laughs and sets his now empty glass of beer down.
"Yeah, how 'bout you?" Steve takes a seat next to him. "You ready to follow Captain America into the jaws of death?"
"Hell no," Bucky shakes his head. "I...I'm following you, Stevie."
"What?" Steve tilts his head. "But, I'm-"
"Captain America, I know," Bucky swallows. "I just mean...that little kid from Brooklyn," He shrugs. "You were too dumb not to run away from a fight," He smiles, but it's hardly happy.
"Buck," Steve sighs. "I'm not...I'm different now, okay?"
"I know, I know," Bucky takes a sip from his refilled drink. "I miss you, the real you," He grabs Steve's hand under the table, "Not some serum."
"I..." Steve turns away and looks down at the table. "Fine."
"Stevie-" Bucky starts again, but is interrupted by the entire bar going silent. Both he and Steve look backward into the main area. There's a dame standing in the doorway. She's dressed in bright red.
"Gentlemen," She smiles. Her heels click on the wood floors as she approaches them.
"Agent Carter," Steve stands. Bucky has no idea who this woman is, but he follows.
"M'am," Bucky nods at her. She ignores him and pretty much cozies up to Steve.
She says something about Howard, whoever that is, and equipment. Steve goes redder than Bucky's ever seen him. She comments, seemingly somewhat annoyed, about their top squad.
"You don't like music?" Bucky asks, unable to stand awkwardly hovering any longer.
"I do actually," She doesn't even look in his direction. Her eyes are glued to Steve. "I might, when this is all over, go dancing," She takes a step closer to Steve.
"Then what are we waiting for?" Bucky tries, desperate to get her to look at something other than the man he loves. It doesn't work.
"The right partner," She answers, and for a split second, Bucky thinks she's going to kiss Steve. Luckily, she doesn't. "Oh-eight-hundred captain," She turns around and walks away,
"Yes m'am," Steve says, "I'll be there."
"Steve?" Bucky hisses as soon as she's out of earshot. "What the actual fuck was that?"
"What?" Steve looks semi-bewildered.
"You know perfectly well what," Bucky tries to stay quiet, but it's so hard not to yell. "What the hell is with all the googly eyes and blushing?"
"She's just..." Steve looks embarrassed as he trails off.
"Were you fucking her while I was gone?" Several heads turn at this. Bucky can't bring himself to care.
"Will you hush?" If Steve wasn't red before, he's certainly a tomato now.
"Will I hush?" Bucky laughs exasperatedly. "What the fuck, Steve?"
"Just..." Steve's eyes bounce around the room. "Come on," He drags Bucky by the arm out the exit and to an alley.
"Are you really that fucking ashamed of me?" Bucky's trying not to cry now.
"You're drunk," Steve crosses his arms. He barely resembles his former self. It seems like it makes him happy, but to Bucky, it's a total gut punch.
"Yeah," He shrugs. "I miss you," He feels a tear fall down his cheek. He quickly wipes it away.
"Buck, I'm right here," Steve yells. It sends shivers down Bucky's spine. Steve's never been loud. He didn't use to have the breath support to get that kind of volume.
"You're not you anymore," Bucky says softly. "I left for two months and I come back to this."
"I just wanted-" Steve starts, but Bucky's not going to hear it.
"Yeah I know you just want to prove your strength," He rolls his eyes. "But you've seriously gone and gotten yourself some dame, while I was..." Hazy images of war and death flash through his vision. "While I was..." Bucky's breathing quickens, the world spins. Blood splatter appears on his previously clean outfit. He feels the dizzying ricochet of a bullet bouncing off his helmet.
"Buck?" Steve's voice comes from somewhere. He sounds far away. "Bucky? You okay?" Steve shouldn't be here. He'll get hurt.
"No, Steve, I..." He can't breathe. Bucky feels his chest constrict.
"Sit down," Steve's talking, but the hands guiding him to the ground aren't ones Bucky knows.
"Stop, stop," He cries, aimlessly pawing at the arms of whoever's lowering him.
"Buck, it's just me," Steve whispers.
"No- I...you can't...I..." A large warm hand moves to the small of his back.
"Ssh, breathe," It has to be Steve. "Bucky, I love you, I'm right here," It can't not be Steve.
"Stevie," Bucky chokes out, then he's wrapped in a warm hug. It's weird. Steve's hands are always cold, and he's never been large enough to engulf Bucky like this.
"Ssh," Regardless, he's too exhausted to resist. Bucky lets himself melt away in this stranger's arms, with Steve's voice soothing him.