The Odinsons part ONE (yeah)
Thor despises being the favorite. He really envies Loki getting off as the weird outcast family member. Family members basically ignore the little freak. They aren't constantly monitoring his every move to see him fumble. They don't want to know every single detail about his life.
Sure, Thor enjoys attention. Seeks it, even. But this kind of attention makes him feel like his skin is crawling with fire ants.
"So, your big sister already locked someone down. Isn't it your turn?" His uncle, Cul, asks from across the living room. Several family members make noises of agreement. And there definitely are several family members to make those noises. Three uncles, one aunt, a handful of cousins, two grandfathers, one grandmother, two great uncles, and finally, his ninety-six-year-old great aunt. The family’s plane ride over must’ve been 80% Odinson.
And Thor wouldn't say Hela "locked" Karnilla down. It was likely the other way around. His sister's fiancee is an exciting and not at all terrifying lady, and he's pretty glad she's out of state for the holidays and couldn't make it.
Hela had been talking to her now-wife Karnilla when they still lived in Norway. The girls met while the Odinsons were vacationing in America three years ago and immediately hit it off. They exchanged numbers and began a lengthy online relationship. When Hela confessed she would be moving to America, Karnilla bought a ring and showed up at the airport to propose on sight. Of course, Hela agreed.
The girls’ wedding was the first time Thor saw his sister cry and the last time he’d been in Norway. Karnilla suggested the wedding be there because she didn’t have any family of her own, and it would be much more meaningful to be wed in her lover’s homeland.
"I'm not really looking to date right now," Thor responds, pushing his hands into his pockets. Frigga and Odin told the Odinson boys to entertain the guest while they finished cooking dinner and while Hela prepared the guest rooms.
"But you're so smart and handsome! Odin isn't getting any younger, y'know." Uncle Vili ribs.
"Oh, that's a shame,” Aunt Gullveig sighs with contempt.
"What about Jane? Wasn't there a Jane?" Uncle Cul scratches his beard quizically.
The responses keep coming. Everyone wants to know everything. They all want to rub their hands all over his social life and expose every single facet.
With impeccable timing, Loki steps into the living room with a fancy cheese plate. Thor spent all morning slicing the cheeses and arranging them just so. Many times, he wondered why they couldn’t just buy a cheese plate, but he supposes they have to uphold their new exotic American lifestyle. Which, for Thor at least, includes a lot more Taco Bell than he thought it would.
Loki sets the platter on the coffee table.
"Loki has a new boyfriend! I'm sure that's much more interesting than my dating life," Thor panics.
His brother glares daggers at him.
"Oh, what's his name, dear?" Gullveig asks and samples some of the manchego cheese that was a bitch to cut.
"En Dwi. He's a senior," Loki responds plainly. Gast originally asked if Loki wanted to see him for Christmas, but after weighing the pros and cons, Loki decided he best stay home. Yes, he could introduce the family to his boyfriend and have everyone see that being bisexual isn't a phase, but then they have to…meet him.
Everyone barely survived the "meeting of the parents". An extended family meeting would be a train wreck. Literally. Probably fire.
Gast isn't for everyone. He leaves a bad taste in people's mouths. One that Loki is enamoured with, however. He finds that he leaves a similar sour taste in others’ mouths. He likes to think that they’re a match made in the seventh layer of Hell.
"Oh, En Dwi? What a name. Is that French?" His uncle Vili says. Thor doesn't think any of his family can judge other people's names…
"Um, he thinks it's Sumerian-Indonesian. Or German."
"Is he Indonesian?" Uncle Ve continues where his brother left off.
"I think he’s just American.”
Vili scoffs. Great Uncle Njord shakes his head silently, looking to his brother in a wordless conversation.
"Is he part Scandinavian at least?" Cousin Hoder says through a mouth of fancy crackers, the kind with seeds and herbs on top.
"I don't know."
Thor exhales now that the attention is off him. Everyone will take their turns asking Loki about his boyfriend. Things like: Why can't any of you date a good Scandinavian? Is he wealthy? Does he have a job?
Thor's phone vibrates against his thigh. He pulls it out to check while Loki explains that Gast is staunchly middle class, doesn't have a job, and is kinda just some American guy.
Bruce💖💗💝
Merry Christmas 🎄🎁🎅
Thor types back with a slight smile.
Me
Merry Christmas love
He instantly regrets using the pet name. It was an impulse text. The boys only started dating a few days ago. Is it too early to use one? The last thing Thor wants is to rush into this fragile thing with Bruce and completely scare him off. He’d never forgive himself.
Bruce💖💗💝
How’s Christmas with your family? Who all showed up?
Me
Ah, about how I expected it would…
Pretty much everybody who could make it.
Bruce💖💗💝
Well, if it makes you feel any better, mine’s pretty meh too.
It would be so much better if you were here!
Ahhh sorry…I don’t know why I typed that!
I..may be partaking in some 🍷
Me
No worries! I wish you were here too. And PLEASE share some with me. I’d rather be off my arse than sit through this.
Too wrapped in conversation with Bruce, Thor didn’t notice his cousin peeking over his shoulder at the text chain. He scans the lovey-dovey conversation with wide eyes.
Hoder is about Thor’s age and the only other family member that speaks a lick of English. He navigated the rest of the family through the airport, which was not fun. At all.
“Can you show me where the bathroom is?” Hoder taps his cousin on the shoulder, pointedly not looking at his phone screen.
Thor takes him down the hall to the guest bathroom. AKA the bathroom in which the dogs get their baths. It’s seen a fair share of mess.
“Can I ask you something, dude?” Hoder stops just before the door.
Thor’s heart sinks. No queer person wants to hear that question with that tone of voice.
“Yeah, man. Go for it.” He swallows his tongue.
“Why didn’t you invite your boyfriend?”
“What? What boyfriend? I’m literally straight.”
“I saw your texts with Bruce. Seemed pretty sappy for a conversation just between two bros,” he pauses and puts his hand on Thor’s quivering shoulder. “I totally don’t care if you’re gay or whatever. I don’t think any of them will either. Like, if you’re happy with some American loser, go for it. Just maybe find out if he’s part Scandinavian before you tell anyone, okay?”
“He’s not a loser. Well, maybe he is, but so am I, and I like him very much. He’s very special to me, but I can’t let the family down by not continuing our legacy. I mean, we can’t have our own children, and he won’t take my name.”
“Loki is adopted, and we all treat him like we’re blood-related. Maybe don’t overthink every horrible outcome and start believing that your family will do something good. And if they don’t, I’m with you, man. I’ll come to your wedding.”
Hoder shuts the bathroom door behind him, effectively ending the conversation.
Thor shakes in place. He grips his phone tightly, letting memories of Bruce’s kind face come back instead of numbing guilt.
He just isn’t ready.