Family Line

It has been a long time since Kilgrave had seen you. Three years to be exact. No, he didn’t kill you, but he was the reason for your absence, or rather your disappearance. You stayed by his side for almost a year and a half, the longest he had ever had stable company. The first six months were not your choice, his voice giving you no other option but to remain. Not that you really minded if you were being honest. His lifestyle was a drastic improvement in how you used to live, it was just the commands you were sick of. But underneath the orders he gave, he was caring. At least you could tell he wanted to be, not that it always came out right. But you didn’t lash out at him. You knew how difficult it was going to be to change his behaviour. Besides, how could you judge him when no one had ever taken care of you like he has, wanted you like he has, protected you like he has. 

Anything you wanted, you got (at least in terms of possessions, although he still bought you stuff he wanted you to wear). You no longer felt unsafe on the streets anymore with him by your side. Regardless if it was just a suggestive look or a completely inappropriate comment, Kilgrave wasted no time handling the pests that made you feel unsafe. He never made you watch and spared you from the grotesqueness of his commands by ordering you into his open arms and pressing your face protectively into his chest. If you were hurt or sick, he had the best medical care at your side. He wasn’t the best at comfort, but he did make an effort. He was thrilled when you told him you wanted him to stay with you while you recovered from an acute case of bronchitis brought on by the winter months. If he were being honest, the sound of you coughing got on his last nerve but he had enough awareness to know that it wasn’t something he could compel away if he wanted you to get any better. He ordered the forced labor in the penthouse to bring you your medication and food, but rarely left your side until you were better. He even bathed you, something you felt was more of an excuse to touch your bare skin while you were ill due to a break in your sex life, something you eventually ended up not minding. You couldn’t deny that it felt nice even if you felt like you were slightly being stripped of your privacy. 

One day, you simply asked him one night how you could make him trust you without the compulsion. He was shocked. Truly shocked. Shocked enough to break down crying and hide his face in your lap and he told you about his past. You had an idea of what had happened. He had fallen ill last month and in his fever-addled state, he begged you not to leave him. He begged you to stay and take care of him, so you did. He might have been controlling you but you didn’t want to fight it. He was so surprised when you placed a cold washcloth on his head, he didn’t even know what was the reason for it. When you told him it was to help the fever go away, he settled back down and your heart broke. Did anyone ever take care of him as a child? You assumed they were negligent at best, abusive at worst, but you never imagined him to tell you how they experimented on him and then left when it backfired on them — too ashamed to face the consequences of their actions. Never in the past thirty something years since their absence did he ever suspect someone would want to willingly stay with him, willingly take care of him that way you were proposing. You held him close that night after the usual before bed sex and he promised that for you, he would try. 

“The no control also extends to the staff, you know,” you had told him one night as you both lay in bed. When he had agreed to not controlling you anymore, he held true to his words for the most part, only slipping up by accident or in times of rage, but he still kept his servants around to cook and clean for both of you. 

“Why?” He asked and you could tell he was genuinely confused. 

“Because it’s not right…” you answered, trying to see if he would understand. 

“What if we want a home cooked meal? Or a clean room?” He asked again. 

“Then we pay them.” You offered. 

“You do understand that I would have to take money from another person right?” 

You sighed and turned to face him. Feeling you shift, he did the same. 

“Well lucky for you, I can cook and clean.”

“Why would you want to do that when someone else could do it for you?”

“Because it makes you appreciate something more when you have to work for it.” He stayed silent but avoided your eyes. 

“Sounds like wasted energy to me,” he finally admitted. 

“Not always. All I’m asking is for you to try it.”

“What if I don’t know how?” He asked, still not able to meet your eyes. 

“I can show you. We can start with cooking tomorrow. I can show you how to make some meals-“

“I’m not utterly incapable of everything,” he snapped. You hesitated, unsure of how to respond. 

“I know, and for the record, I don’t think you're incapable. For someone with your upbringing, you are actually quite intelligent. You just need someone to show you. There’s nothing wrong with asking for help.” You brought your hand up to brush away his fringe from his eyes that had fallen on his forehead due to the lack of product in it after his shower. “I know you’re trying. I know you want to do better.”

Your finger moved from his hair to ghosting his cheekbone when he all of a sudden reached up to cover your hand with his own, effectively trapping your hand against his face and leaning into your palm. 

“Never leave me.” You felt the command take hold of you, but you didn’t mention it. Clearly, it was a slip up. You would have to work on restructuring sentences later. 

“I won’t”

It wasn’t easy. He slipped up a lot in the next six months, but you didn’t get mad. You understood the effect abusive parents had and how the fear responses could follow even when out of the traumatic situation. It turns out he rather enjoyed cooking, although he still resorted to making others do it for him or going out to eat. Laundry and dishes was another story. He helped you with your gift as well, teaching you that it wasn’t a curse but rather a gift. It was protection. You were so special to him. So unique. Both of you felt it, that feeling you get when someone sees the real you and doesn’t turn away. None of you told the other as none of you could properly boil the feeling down to a name. Love? Neither of you were sure completely. He got better at being less controlling — at least to you, others were a different story no matter how much life skills you taught him— and you stood by him. Praising him when he made progress and helping him when he had a “relapse”. He was always afraid his anger would take over and he would lash out, say the wrong thing, and you would leave, and then it did. 

He was fuming. Angry over how someone disrespected him during a “business meeting”. You had tried to calm him down, told him that a nice lunch would help him, but it only made him angrier. He spat at you how you were only with him because of the money and the things he gave you. You started to tell him that it wasn’t true, that you stayed because of him, but he cut you off, ordering you not to say anything and go away. You did, because you didn’t have a choice not to, walking out into the busy streets of the city, alone. You knew his compulsion would wear off eventually and you did make plans to return when it did, hoping that he would still want you once he calmed down. You waited across the street from the penthouse in silence, waiting for his control to wear off so you could return to him. You would have made it back and you would have faced him, talked to him about this episode and such. You would have done anything just to be back with him if it had not been for strong hands pulling you into a dark allyweigh. Unable to speak due to his command still ever present in your mind, your head was slammed against the brick, rendering you completely unconscious without so much as a cry for help from you. 

To him, he finally said the wrong thing. Finally revealed his true self. The self that made his parents leave him. The thing that made everyone leave him. He waited forever for you to come back. A week went by with nothing from you, so he “hired” some guys to find you and bring you back to him. The investigation lasted months and yet nothing turned up. Kilgrave called off the search, assuming that you had either left him to where he could not find you or worse, you were dead. 

The next two years he filled his time with women who allowed him to pretend he was back with you. Whether it be hair colour, eye colour, gifted, or normal, he could close his eyes and present it was you he was in tangled with, but in the end, they weren't you and they would never be you, for they all had to be controlled to stay. He thought he would never love again, until he met Jessica. 

It was her powers that drew him towards her at first. Superpower strength was no mind delusions, but it was entertaining enough. The more time he spent with her the more he found himself relating the two of you; for both of you were gifted with traumatic pasts, zombie-img around the city before he had found you. No matter how much he still loved you, with your absence, his memory of you began to fade and was soon replaced by Jessica. He did look for you. Used Jessica’s abilities to help him not only revive the only proof of his existence but any answers about you no matter how favourable they were to him. He planned to use Jessica to make you jealous when he found you, to make you regret never coming back to him, but he never found you. The bus hit him too fast for him to have a chance to inquire further and when he recovered from his emergency double kidney replacement, he had to let you go. Conclude that you were dead. 

There was a time when he thought Jessica would be the one for him. That she would be like you and stay when not ordered to. He had counted down the hours until her mind was her own and to his surprise, she didn’t leave. He held onto that thought as he watched her walk away from him, as he watched his new kidneys be surgically attached, and as he spent the next six months with Hope — another replacement for Jessica and thus you. Now, even from inside the cage she placed him into, even after her betrayal of a Sufentynil injection, he held onto that thought. He finally found another person who wouldn’t leave him, and he was not going to let her get away this time. 

He never expected her to give him his greatest wish. 

Three years ago you woke up strapped to what looked like a hospital bed with various lines in your arm and electrodes stuck on your now shaved head. You stayed strapped to that bed for the next nine months (not that you knew that. To you, it was just a very long time) besides supervised handcuffed trips to the bathroom and around the room to ensure that your muscles didn’t waste away. You eventually earned their trust enough to be able to roam free in your room, which you were grateful for. You endured experiments, tests, and mental and physical torture for the next three years, your body now belonging to scientists your family had taken money from for information about you and your abilities. The more tests they did, the more you thought of him. Kilgrave. The only thought that gave you the motivation to not die. Does he know you're missing? Does he know you were taken? Was he looking for you? Did he think you abandoned him? You hoped not and for a while (about a year), everyday you thought he would come, order everyone to get away from you, scoop you up and carry you back to safety, but it never happened. Eventually, you had given up on your dreams of him rescuing you. You fought back, hard, every time, but it was useless as it only made you get punished more. Eventually, all you knew was pain and suffering. Until she walked in. 

You heard the commotion first. Bodies being thrown against the wall, glass breaking, security alarms ringing. This has never happened before and due to fear, you couched behind your bed, ready for whatever would enter and hurt you. Someone did enter, but the pain didn’t come. 

At first she called out your name, looking for confirmation that you were who she thought. You confirmed her belief and she told you her name was Jessica and that she was getting you out. She took you back to her place, allowed you to have a shower as well as gave you a change of clothes and a decent meal. 

When you asked her how she found you she told you she was looking for you as you both had a mutual “friend” — that term wasn’t right for either of you as he was more than a friend in your eyes and a repulsive monster in her’s.

“You know Kilgrave?” You asked, shocked. Maybe he didn’t forget about you after all. 

“Intimately…and I think you once did too.” Intimately? Did that mean what you thought? Has he replaced you already? 

“Do you know where he is?” Your excitement coming out as anxiety had her rushing to calm you down. 

“I do, but don’t worry. He can’t hurt you anymore.” Why would she think he would want to hurt you?

“Where is he?” You asked, this time with more force. 

“He is in a room where he can’t control anyone. He’s not a threat anymore.” 

“Will you bring me to him?” You had to know. You had to know if he had forgotten about you or was still angry at you. You had to know the reason for Jessica being involved with him, why he took someone who wasn’t you. You had to hear it from him?

“Are you sure you want to do that?” 

“I need answers. And like you said, it’s safe.”

She agreed, telling you that you would go tomorrow as it was late. You barely slept the whole night, your brain switching between excitement to see him again, anxiety at his response to you, worrying about how he was doing in that room. You knew he hated confined spaces just as much as he hated being recorded. Eventually, it was the next day and you spent a great deal of time staring at yourself in the bathroom mirror. Would he still think you're attractive? Jessica may have helped you freshen up last night, but being in a facility for three years didn’t exactly bring out the best in your appearance. Your face was hollow and dead looking. You could barely recognise yourself anymore, but you hoped he would. Before you went in, Jessica explained the logistics of the room so you would know how to keep yourself safe in case he did anything. 

And that’s how you two were reunited, you free from your cage and him imprisoned in his own. He expected Jessica to return back with a cop or another lawyer. He never in a million years expected to see you. He was still and silent. As were you and everyone else. Everyone else was staring at the both of you, but neither of you noticed. You both were too busy staring at each other. He looked the same but different, but to be fair, he wasn’t in his usual attire either. His hair, which was usually well groomed, fell down on his forehead. His shirt was untucked and wet which led you to believe she used the shock on him. His face was bruised so you know she hurt him. Not that he looked bad, he could never look bad in your eyes and you were most definitely not in any position to judge. You were too busy controlling yourself not to lash out at anyone for his injuries. 

Kilgrave took in your appearance as well. Where did you go? Your hair was poorly cut and flat; your face appeared more hollow than before with less life in it; the sparkle in your eyes that he loved so much was barely there; your skin was dry and a few shades paler than before; and he noticed a few small cuts and contusions all in various places on the skin he could see. He wondered where did you get them? Who hurt you and where were they so he could make them kill themselves as soon as he got out of this stupid tank. He noticed your bottom lip start to quiver and your mouth open and close as if you couldn’t decide the right words to say. In order to spare you from overthinking, Kilgrave broke the silence. 

“You're alive,” he uttered with complete shock, an unreadable expression still on his face. 

“What happened to him?” You whispered to Jessica while never breaking eye contact with him. Luckily she once again misinterpreted your tone, thinking your anger was fear. 

“Tried to get him to control me on video. It didn’t work,” she admitted. 

“Could we have the room?” You asked, still not looking anywhere other than him. His face grew confused as to why you hadn't said anything directly to him. Maybe you did never want to see him again and Jessica forced you to come to humiliate him further. Maybe you never loved him at all. 

“I don’t know if that’s a good idea…” she started.

“I know how the shock button works.” 

“Okay. We will be outside. Don’t go in. Yell if you need help.”

You nodded and they all left. 

“You're alive,” he repeated. 

“Yeah…” you let out, not knowing what else to say. 

“Where did you go? I looked for you for years and nothing…and now you show up with Jessica?”

“She rescued me from the people that took me.”

“Took you?”

“I was on my way back that night but these men grabbed me and the next thing I knew I was stuck in some sort of lab”. He didn’t make a sound, but you saw him slightly wince at the mention of a lab. “I’m sorry, I know that’s a sore spot for you, but I just want you to know that I was on my way back…to you.” He was silent. Maybe he does really hate you. You walked towards the glass until you were close enough to rest your fingertips on it.

“I thought about you every day. You were the only thing that kept me going.” You let out a shaky breath and rested your hands on the glass, leaning into it slightly. “I just want you to know that. That I never stopped thinking about you, even if…” you sniffled, tears beginning to flow out as you rested your forehead on the glass, trying to hide your face from him. “Even if you don’t want me anymore. Even if you want Jessica now.” You were a sobbing mess at this point and his silence did nothing to help. At the sound of your crying, Kilgrave walked up to the glass until he was directly in front of you, his body mirroring your own. Realising he was in front of you, you gasped and looked up at him, hands still pressed against the glass. 

“I thought about you too. Every day. I could never replace you.” And he meant that. All he got was eighteen seconds of free will with Jessica; nothing compared to the year and a half he got with you. “I thought you left me or were…” he couldn’t finish his sentence, couldn’t even settle on the thought of you being dead. He let out a shaky laugh, trying to hide his vulnerability. “I should have looked harder…done more…”

“No, they would have taken you too.”

“What did they do to you?” He asked and you placed your hands against his on the glass coming as close as you could to holding hands. 

“Nothing people like that didn’t do to you.” You saw his eyes go cold, but you knew it wasn’t directed at you. 

“Once I’m out of here, they are gone. They will pay for what they did to you, I promise.”

“You’ll still want me?”

“I’ll never not want you. You’re mine.” You smiled but quickly lost it when you remembered how you got here. 

“Is Jessica going to be upset?”

“Let her. It’s not our fault she can’t understand true love.”

“Love?”

“Yes. I meant to tell you before but never got around to it but, I love you,” he said and you were speechless. No one had ever loved you before. You smiled and let out a laugh, but as you went to say it back, his eyes found focus on something over your shoulder, distracting you. 

“Kevin…” came a voice from behind and you turned around to not only be met with Jessica and co., but an older man and woman. 

“Mum…dad?” He whispered. 

So these were the people that did this to him. You didn’t fail to notice Jessica’s “what the fuck are you doing” face when she noticed the both of you pressed against the glass, but you ignored it as a cop burst in. You knew what you had to do. If you didn’t cut the wire, Kilgrave was gone, most likely forever this time and you had already spent enough time apart. 

Luckily the commotion of his parents reuniting with him was enough for you to break the wire without being noticed. You watched as he screamed at him, as his mother apologised, and as he gave into her hug. You started to smile at their moment. That was until you saw her reach into her pocket and pulled out a pair of sharp scissors. 

“No, dont!” You shouted and he went to look at you, but he wasn’t fast enough and she stabbed him. Right in the back. How ironic, you thought. Your plan to cut the wire may have backfired as Trish started shooting her gun at the glass in an attempt to stop him from killing his father after he compelled his mother to stab herself to death. Just as the glass was about to break, you screamed out and with it came all this extra force you never knew you were capable of. You felt the darkness in it, the heaviness of it, and so did everyone not in the hermetically sealed room. They all fell to the floor in pain, clutching their heads as their ears rang and noses started to bleed slightly, all of them reliving their worst nightmares. This gave Kilgrave the perfect opportunity to give his father one last fatal command, break the glass, and run out. He yelled at you to follow up and you did, until a sharp pinch in your neck sent you spiralling into darkness, keeping you from him once again. 

Kilgrave didn’t have time to go back for you as much as he wanted to. Not with Jessica there. He couldn’t control her anymore and that was a risk. He would be back later for you, get you away from here so you could both start your new life together. After compelling a ride from Jeri and seeking medical attention for his injuries, he found out that his father was still alive and that Jessica had the both of you. 

Upon waking up, you found yourself surrounded in darkness unable to move or speak thanks to the duct tape you assumed Jessica had confined you in. For a moment, you though you were on your way back to the lab — your current situation being all too similar. Moving was hard enough as it was due to your little episode and the massive headache the sedative gave you didn’t help. You had no idea you could do that. What had those scientists done to you? The last thing you remember was fighting and then Kilgrave shouting for you. Kilgrave! The thought of him made the panic set in. Did Jessica hurt him? Did he get out? 

All of a sudden, light blinded you vision as the door to the back of the van opened and you squinted trying to block the sun from your eyes. Blocking the sun, Jessica stepped into view and you squirmed away as far as you could, muttering under the tape. 

“You don’t have to be afraid. I know he did something to you…to control you somehow but it will wear off.” You shook your head adamantly, still whimpering out your muffled explanation. “I know you're having a hard time controlling your abilities, so the tape has to stay on for now. We don’t need a repeat of last time.” You let out a more intense whine at that. “I’m sorry, but once his control wears off and you calm down, I’ll let you go.” You threw your head back in a silent outrage. Why couldn’t you just be with him right now. Where was he? He would make this all go away. 

“I’m gonna take you inside so you’ll be more comfortable. Don’t worry, I won’t let him come near you again.” Before you could even attempt protesting, she was throwing you over her shoulder and up the back stairway to her flat, eventually placing you down on the bed. 

“I’m sorry this is happening to you,” she said. You could tell she meant it. What did he do to her that made her think you were afraid of him? A noise from the main area drew her attention away and to your relief you heard his voice. Finally,

“Hope in return for her and my father, huh? Do we have a deal” he bargained. Without his ability to control her, he knew he needed some leverage to get you out with him along with his father’s location. 

“I’m not just going to willingly hand her over to you so you can ruin her life even more.”

“Ruin her life? Come on — did you ever ask her? I treated her better than anyone ever had. I treated you better than anyone ever had yet for some reason, I’m the bad guy!”

“I don’t have to ask, I know exactly what you do to people.” Kilgrave scoffed and sat down in the desk chair. 

“If you don’t love me, fine, but she does. Why can’t you let me be happy? Is it jealousy?” 

Jessica laughed. “You’re a lot of things but I never thought you were delusional.”

A noise from the bedroom distracted them both. 

“Shit,” Jessica muttered. 

She’s here, Kilgrave thought. He moved in the direction of the bedroom only to be pushed against the wall and held there. 

“I will ask her. If you want even a one percent shot at seeing her again, you will stay here.”

“Fine,” he surrendered and she released him, allowing him to catch his breath, and went to find you. In a desperate attempt to get off the bed, you had not done it so gracefully and were now sitting with your knees to your chest leaning against the end of the bed as Jessica walked in. 

“I just want the truth so…did he ever control you?”

You nodded.

“Did he make you do things you didn’t want to do?”

You hesitated, then nodded. 

“Did he make you do what you did…in the room?”

You shook your head no. She sighed and then sat down on the bed. 

“Do you love him?”

You hesitated again and then finally nodded your head. You did. Maybe it wasn’t conventional love but you could imagine a life without him. What else do you call that?

“Do you want to be with him?”

You nodded again. She contemplated for a minute before bending in front of you and ripping the tape from your ankles. 

“The rest has to stay on, for precautions, but it will be over soon.”

You nodded and she helped you up and led you into the office space where you saw him again. He was cleaner this time; his shirt had been replaced and his hair groomed. 

“Are you kidding me? Unite her! She isn’t an prisoner!” Kilgrave ordered. 

“It’s for precaution, unless you want her to get panicked and make you relive your worst nightmares?” Relive your worst nightmares? You couldn’t do that before. Most you could do before was just send people into a dream, a delusion, but now you were summoning hallucinations. He was even more interested in you and angry with the people who took you. He would fulfil his promise of making them suffer, but first, he needed you. 

“Okay well, you will have Hope tomorrow. Just give me my father’s location and we will be on our way.”

“How do I know you won’t come after Hope again?”

“Look, I only used her to get back at you. She doesn’t mean anything to me.” He looked past Jessica to meet your eyes. “Not when I have her.”

“If I ever hear from you again or of you, I will kill you. You know I can.”

“Noted. Now if you don’t mind?” He gestured towards you and she stepped out of the way. 

“It’s okay, I’m here now and I’m —“ you let out a muffled scream as his sentence was cut off by a hook to the head courtesy of Jessica. 

“I can’t let him get away with everything. I’m sorry.”

You watched as she tied him up just as she had you and left the room to make a phone call. With your hands, you scooted so that you were sitting next to his head. Even though he was unconscious, you hoped you could still get through to him. Placing your hand on his head, you focused and shared memories of the both of you. Hopefully you will find a way out of this. You couldn’t lose him again. You thought you felt him stir and you were glad that she didn’t seriously injure him. With your fingertips, you started to feel for the edge of the tape, trying to unstick it enough that he could order a command if anyone else were to come in without her knowing; however, she walked into the room before you could attempt it. 

“Okay I’m gonna put you back in the room. I’m sorry, but it’s for your own good.” You protested but it was no use with her strength and you were eventually settled against the bed once again. “I know it doesn’t feel like it right now, but one day you will be happy I didn’t let you go with him. You're experiencing Stockholm Syndrome.” 

You whined and shook your head no, but she kept going. 

“You don’t love him, that’s what he does. He gets into your head and violates every part of you. It will pass, but it needs time and distance.” 

With that, she left the bedroom and closed the door, leaving you with your thoughts, alone. You thought of him the whole time. You hoped he was okay even though he was in an even worse situation than you. You would eventually be set free, he would only be going to the raft. You struggled, frantically attempting to get free. To save him, but you only got defeated. A noise from the office area broke you out of your thoughts. Did he manage to get free? Did she kill him? You didn’t know. 

Once untied, Kilgrave was pissed. He ordered the red-head and her company to stay put as he walked over Jessica’s unconscious body. 

“I’ll be back for you. Don’t worry,” he spat, full of rage. He was on a mission. Find you. 

It didn’t take him very long and the second he opened the bedroom door, you cried out with relief.

“Mmph-“ 

“It’s okay now. I’m here. We are getting out of here,” he said as he rushed over to your side. He gently peeled the tape off your mouth trying his best to make sure it caused you the least amount of pain, but you still winced as the removal of the tape reopened the previous cut on your lip, sending blood gushing out. Kilgrave, much like the first time you met, wiped away the blood trickling down your chin while you caught your breath. 

“Just as I said. Gorgeous, even with a bloody face.” 

Once you were able to speak, you told him what you had been meaning to all along. What you thought you were never going to be able to tell him. 

“I love you.” It was quiet and raspy and slightly broken due to your shaken breath, but you said it and he heard it. 

“What?” He whispered. 

“I love you,” you said clearer this time. He smiled and grasped your face in his hands, pulling you towards him to meet him in a passionate kiss. You winced slightly due to the freshly reopened cut which he pulled back at and proceeded to clean his own face of your blood with the back of his hand. 

“I love you too,” he beamed. “Now come on, let’s get out of here.” You nodded and turned so he could untie your hands. Once free, he helped you to your feet. He took your hand and went to move, but you pulled him back. 

“Are you okay?” You asked, concerned for his state. You did watch him get beaten up and shocked a few hours ago. 

“I’m fine darling, but we need to go before she wakes up.”

You nodded and with you in hand, he ordered the four strangers also in the flat to follow him. 

“Why are they coming with us?” You whispered to him, confused as to what he was planning. 

“Just a little insurance, love. Nothing to be worried about.” He kissed your temple as you all walked down the stairs and eventually into the empty restaurant with him, the support group, and this girl you picked up from prison apparently named Hope. 

“Kilgrave can you please just tell me what’s going on? What’s the plan at least?” You looked back at the blonde woman sitting at the table before turning your head back at him. “And why won’t you tell me who she is?” You demanded, full of anxiety at the multiple people set to hang themselves at the command of the man you loved. He signed and pinched the bridge of his nose. 

“Love, she is just leverage-” 

“Did you sleep with her?,” you accused. He cocked his head to the side slightly and stared down at you. “I’m sorry, I’m just,” you let a deep breath out and grabbed his hands. “I’m just scared. I just want the truth.” A soft smile appeared on his face. 

“There is nothing to be scared of darling. Yes, we did sleep together in your absence, and I will tell you everything once we get my father.” 

“Is she coming with us?” You asked, scared he was going to replace you? Who knows how he felt about her since he was being so vague. 

“No, I am going to give her over to Jessica in exchange for my father. She doesn’t mean anything to me.” He unravelled his hands from yours and cupped your cheeks, making you unable to look away from him as he stared directly into your eyes. “Not when I have you.” You smiled, but took a glance at the row of people set to hang themselves.

“Are you really going to make them kill themselves?”

“It’s just a precaution and besides, Jessica would never let that happen” he assured you and you nodded, feeling more content with the situation. “I want you out of the way when Jessica comes. Just in case she tries to steal you from me, okay?” You nodded, kissed him, and went to hide in the doorway to a hallway next to the table they sat at, all of you waiting for Jessica. 

It all happened so fast. 

As soon as Jessica walked in accompanied by Kilgrave’s father, the air got tense. You waited on the sidelines and listened as he ordered his father to come closer and embrace him in a threatening hug. Your adrenaline kicked in as soon as you heard Hope pleaded for Jessica to kill him. You took deep breaths trying not to lose it and have another episode. You might incapacitate Jessica but at the expense of also hurting Kilgrave and you weren't going to risk it if you could help it. Your vision was tunnelling, clouded with anger when you heard Hope get up from the table and break a glass. 

“You can’t kill me silly girl,” Kilgrave reminded her. 

“No, but Jessica can.” Hope said. 

You aren't sure what came over you, but without thinking you ran out to the table, picked up a shard of glass not caring that it was imbedding itself into your palm, and stuck the piece right into Hope’s neck. Kilgrave, and everyone else for that matter, looked at you in complete shock and you pulled the piece across and then out, Hope’s blood splattering all over you. You wouldn’t lose him again. 

“Walk forward!” He commanded the group and reached out for you, silently ordering you to come with him. All three of you walked out as absolute chaos erupted, getting into a new car, his father in the passenger seat and both of you in the back. You were still in shock, covered in blood, taking deep breaths to keep the energy inside you at bay. Kilgrave called out for you, but you didn’t respond, too stuck in your own world to hear him. You just stared at your hands. Your family was right. You were a murderer. So why don’t you feel bad?

The ride was over after thirty minutes of sitting in city traffic and you were being ushered into a modern penthouse. 

“What happened back there?” Kilgrave asked, his father watching from the side. You looked up from your hands. 

“She was gonna hurt you…and I fixed it.”

“I had it under control, she couldn’t kill me. Neither of them could. You didn’t have to lash out.”

“Are you insane? I’m the one lashing out when you just had four people hang themselves? 

“Oh come on-“

“You act all pure and noble, like…like you have reasons for killing people, but when I do it, I’m crazy! Right?” You yelled. Kilgrave winced as he felt a headache coming on and his father’s nose began to bleed. 

“Yes, I’ve done things… but only out of necessity, and I’ve never physically killed anyone. You can’t say the same can you?” 

“I killed Hope for you! To protect you!” You screamed, your nose starting to drip with blood as you still tried to hold it all in. You clutched your head in your hands as you felt a migraine coming on. 

“Dear god Kevin, what have you done to this poor girl? I think you broke her.” He yelled out, terrified of his son. Kilgrave was silent, not knowing how to respond. So many thoughts were going through his head right now, he couldn’t process them. You had protected him without him demanding you too. You had killed someone for him. You had wanted to be with him despite what others said about him, on your own accord. While he was overjoyed with this, he knew Hope’s death would only make Jessica want to kill him more, and maybe now you. How would he protect himself and now you from her wrath if he couldn’t control her? He hoped his father would help him with that, but all in due time. No one spoke for a minute and the silence was deafening. You had to get out of there. 

“I’m gonna go clean up.” Part of you thought he would stop at you, maybe even hurt you a small part of you feared, but he didn’t. He let you walk past him and up the stairs in search of a bath. 

You found the bathroom with the biggest tub and shut the door, leaving it unlocked. While the water ran, you looked at yourself in the mirror. Blood covered your upper half and was starting to drip into your jeans. What have you done? You were a monster. Would he still love you? If not, where would you go? Would he even let you leave? 

Pushing away the thoughts, you undressed yourself from the ruined clothes and got in the bath, sitting with your knees to your chest. You were about to reach for a washcloth when a knock at the door started you. 

“Darling?” You heard and before you could answer him, his head was peaking through the door. You looked away from him in shame and he walked in fully, shutting the door behind him. 

“I’m sorry I yelled at you. I know you don’t want to hurt people, I was just mad and scared. I didn’t mean it.”

“I know you didn’t.” He walked over towards the bath and kneeled before you. 

“I understand if you can’t love me anymore…”

His hand came up to your face, generally pushing away the hair that had fallen in your face behind your ear and directed your face towards him. “What you did, I’ll be honest, I was not expecting that, but that’s one of the many things I love about you, how much you care for me.”

“I killed someone, again…” you mumbled. 

“You protected me. That’s what you do when you love someone. You’ll do anything for them.” 

“I would absolutely kill for you.” You would and you have. 

“I would kill for you too.” 

You both smiled and leaned in until your lips met softly, slowly building speed. You went to grip the edge of the bath to position yourself in order to deepen the kiss, wincing and pulling away as the glass still stuck in your hand moved in a new position. 

“You're hurt. Let’s have a look at it. Don’t want to break you any more.” You knew that deep down, past his childlike anger and calm and collected attitude, what his father said had hurt him, both in the penthouse and in the cage, and even thought you knew he would never admit it, you knew his mother’s death had wounded his psyche as well, no matter how many times he said that she deserved it. On the other hand, he was worried about you. Worried about what the scientists did to you, what your new abilities could do, and what they could do to him. There was a lot unspoken between the both of you. Three years of stories left to hang in the air. 

You gave him your hand and he inspected the wound. It wasn’t very deep, but it seemed to bleed a lot. He pulled it out and you hissed in pain, trying to pull your hand away as if that would somehow lessen the feeling, but he held onto it to inspect the damage. He dunked your hand in the water, cleaning off the dried blood in order to get a better look at the cut. Bring it back up, you were able to see that it was shallow.

“I don’t think it needs stitches,” you said. 

“How do you know that?”

“Not all of us had the ability to beckon medical care when we were hurt,” you reminded him and he frowned slightly. “Fuck, I’m sorry, that was unfair.” You brought your free hand up to hide your face in your palm. “What the fuck is wrong with me? Here you are taking care of me and I’m still being a bitch.” 

“It was unfair, but I’ll let it slide. We’ve both had a long couple of days.” You looked up from your hand and gave him a small smile. 

“It just needs to be wrapped.”

“We can wrap it for now, but I’d prefer someone to look at it just to make sure.”

“Only if you get checked out too.” He as well had sustained injuries that had gone unaccounted for. Even with his advanced healing, you worried. 

“I already did, don’t worry.” You felt your concern for him diminish, but you were still adamant enough to state your point. 

“Not after she hit you.” Your fingertips ghosted the bruise on his cheekbone and he winced at even the thought of your touch. 

“I’ll get it checked out. Is that good?” You nodded and he dropped the subject. “Let’s clean you up.” He took the rag and washed off all the blood, your body, and your hair until you were clean again. Once out of the bath, he lead you towards the bedroom where he generously fucked you until you both were exhausted. He rolled off you breathless and stared at the high ceiling. 

“Your father was wrong.” He looked at you but didn’t say anything. “You didn’t break me.” You laid a hand in his chest, searching for his heartbeat. “You opened your heart to me. It’s not your fault no one ever taught you to be good. I understand and I’m here for you okay.” 

“I’m never letting you go again. No one will get between us.” 

You ran your fingers across his scars. You had seen them when he had first undressed but were too caught up in the moment to bring them up. 

“What happened?”

“Jessica. Left me for dead after being hit by a bus. Needed a full kidney transplant.” You gasped. How could she do that? 

“I’m sorry she hurt you. I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you…”

“Don’t be sorry. If anything, I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you…” he traced his finger over one of your many scars that was currently residing on your hairline. “What happened here?”

“Brain biopsy, I think. They kept me strapped to a bed and they just… they just cut me apart. I still don’t know what they were trying to do. Answers, maybe? Research? A cure? Torture? I never knew. I didn’t even know how long I’d been there until…until she told me.” It was painful to remember. “The worst part wasn’t the surgeries or the experiments, it was being alone. I don’t want to be alone.”

“You're not and you won’t. I’m here. I’ll always be here.” He placed a kiss to the scar on your temple. 

“What are you gonna do with your father?” You asked, suddenly remembering that he was here, somewhere, and you were still not sure on what Kilgrave was planning. 

“He’s gonna make me more powerful. That way Jessica or scientists or whatever pest tries to bother us won’t be able to.” 

“How?”

“Well Hope…may have been pregnant with my child. She aborted it but the remains were kept. It possibly inherited my genes.”

Hope was pregnant. Hope was pregnant with his child. For some reason, you couldn’t get over that fact. You had missed out on so much time with him. Time you could have spent together. Time you could have spent taking Hope’s place. Time you could have spent pregnant. How many others did he have in your absence? Would he want to go back to them? Did you still do it for him? Surely, no one would love him as much as you did. No one would look past his flaws and accept him. But you had both changed over the past three years, no longer the same people you were with each other — three years of stories changing both of your behaviours. You were a stone cold killer now, not the innocent girl he once saved from opening her skull on the city pavement. You would imagine it would be hard for him to think of you in that way again, the way he may have thought of Hope or Jessica or whoever caught his attention, once he has seen you slit his “ex”’s throat. 

Maybe it was the sleep deprivation (you may have been unconscious for a while but it most certainly was not restful), maybe it was the readjustment to life and to him, but uncontrollable tears flew out of your eyes and you covered your mouth with your hand to try to stop the sobs that escaped it and turned away from him back to looking at the ceiling. Kilgrave was confused as he didn’t know what upset you, he just knew he wanted it to stop. 

“Hey, stop, stop, stop, it’s alright darling.” With that your cries were cut off. “What’s got you so upset?” 

“I killed the mother of your child, how do you not hate me?”

Kilgrave sighed. 

“I didn’t even know until the other day okay, and besides, when I found out it was too late, she had already terminated it.”

“Do you think I would be a good mum?” This confused him. The topics of kids had never come up. You both assumed the other wasn’t interested in having them. You honestly weren't even sure if you wanted them, but you couldn’t deny the jealousy you felt that she got to have the possibility of a family with him, even if she didn’t want it. 

“I think you would be a great mum.” You wiped away the tears that were left on your face and looked at him again. 

“This plan with your father. Is it safe?”

“Yes,” he lied. Neither he nor his father could predict the exact survivability of the procedure, but Kilgrave was desperate. He needed to have full control again. He, and now you, depended on it. 

“Don’t take this the wrong way but…did you ever want to forgive them?”

“Sometimes. Almost did with my mum, until she stabbed me in the back, literally this time. I really didn’t mean to hurt her back then, I promise.”

“I know.”

“For a moment, it was nice. To hug her again. Would have been nice if she was sincere. How stupid am I to believe they actually loved me.”

“I love you, and someone who loves you wouldn’t do that,” you whispered. 

“Be honest, are you asking for me or for you?” 

“Both, but mainly you. I know her death hurt you, even if she deserved it.” He didn’t answer, as expected, and avoided your gaze. 

“Well it’s over now, so no use contemplating the past.” 

“Will you help me with them? After we deal with your father and Jessica?”

“Help you do what?”

“Get rid of my family, and the scientists, so we can start fresh. Just us.”

“Just us. We could have our own house, with a big kitchen so you could bake, big everything actually.” He hesitated for a moment before placing his hand on your bare stomach. “Big enough for one of our own.” 

“You really want to have kids with me?”

“Once we deal with our pasts, I want to have everything with you.” You responded with a deep kiss that would have turned into a second round if it wasn’t for the sound of your stomach rumbling. “Oh that’s right, you haven’t eaten anything.”

“I could go get us food.” You looked around and realised you didn’t have any clothes, well any clothes that weren't bloody. “I just need clothes.”

“No, no, no, I’m not letting you out of my sight again. I will have someone get us food and I will find you some clothes. I’ll be right back, don’t move a muscle.” With a kiss to your forehead, he left, leaving you frozen on the bed, unable to move a muscle. You went to call for him, but your jaw was locked shut by his command. You knew he didn’t mean to do this to you and probably didn’t even realise his slip up; however, his power took his words literally. You just hoped he would return soon.

You spent an hour frozen before he came back in with a bag of clothing in his hands, still oblivious to your state. 

“Sorry it took so long, I had to get someone to go buy you some new clothes. Wouldn’t want you wearing one of these random bloke’s clothes or worse, having my father see you like this.” He stared at you, wondering why you weren't responding. “What’s wrong? Why aren't you saying anything?” 

You just blinked, trying to signal that you couldn’t, trying to get him to release the command. 

“Shit. My bad, you can move.” Finally, your muscles relaxed and you could move once again. 

“Thank you,” you said, sitting up ready to take the clothes from him. You quickly changed and you both headed down to the dining area where you both ate, alone. You tried to stay awake and converse with him but with your full stomach, you couldn’t hide your exhaustion; something he picked up on and decided that both of you could retire to bed. 

You both feel asleep relatively quickly, only for you to jerk awake in a cold sweat hours later. You looked at the clock — 3:17 a.m. — great. No matter how safe you felt next to him, memories of your time in the lab plagued your dreams. Trying to catch your breath, you noticed Kilgrave was still fast asleep. You decided that some water might help and carefully, so as to not wake him, you slipped from the bed and padded down the staircase towards the kitchen. 

You didn’t expect to see his father and the two owners of the house rushing around the table, mixing and measuring stuff from the various fluid filled beakers set out on it. You tried to be quiet and slip past them unnoticed, but Albert caught you. 

“You have to help us,” he pleaded as he continued to work. Clearly, his son had commanded him to work non-stop without sleep. 

“Why?” Why would you help him? The man abused the love of your life as a child, so to you, whatever punishment Kilgrave deemed fit you were okay with. 

“You know what he does to people! He’s had to do it to you!”

“He loves me.”

“He can’t love you! He doesn’t understand what that is.”

“No thanks to you.”

He was silent for a moment. 

“We were only trying to save him.”

“You did. He does love me…and he’s getting better. Not his fault no one demonstrated empathy to him.”

“It is too late for that. Look at yourself! Look at Jessica! Look at Hope!”

“I killed Hope.” Albert’s face went pale at the realisation that he did in fact see you slit her throat without as much as a word from his son. “And if Kilgrave didn’t need you, I would do the same to you.” 

“You think he loves you? That you’ll be together forever? Have a family? You won’t. Kevin will eventually get bored of you, like he does with everything, and you better hope he just leaves you. And even if he doesn’t get tired of you, what’s stopping him from getting you pregnant just to use your child 

to enhance himself? Trust me, I know all too well what he is capable of.”

“Well I never tortured him. Not like you, or Jessica. He loves me and I love him. I don’t need to be controlled to say that.”

With that, you grabbed a glass of water and turned around ready to head back to bed when Albert’s voice stopped you in your tracks. 

“Then you're just as bad as him. Jessica should have never saved you from that lab. If she hadn’t, both of you would be where you belong.”

You gulped trying to swallow your mix of emotions: anger at his insults, fear of going back to the lab, fear of being separated from Kilgrave again, and the sadness of the fact that he might be slightly right. Although some of the scientists that experimented on you deserved it, you were a killer — a monster. You never wanted to be like this, but here you are. The only thing keeping your self esteem afloat was the fact that if it were not for your escape from the lab, Kilgrave would still be in that cage or worse. You were at least good for one thing — being whatever he needed. 

Without a word, you left the kitchen and made your way back to bed where you nessled yourself into his arms, trying to get as close to him as possible, trying to get as safe as possible. You hoped that when you fell asleep this time, there would be only good memories behind your eyelids. Unfortunately, your movements woke Kilgrave up.

“What’s going on?” He mumbled, still half asleep. 

“I just wanted you to hold me,” you whispered back, face pressed to his chest. He tightened his arms around you and you let out a sigh of relief. 

“Everything okay?” 

“Just a bad dream. I was back in the lab.”

“They can’t hurt you anymore, not when I’m here.”

“Promise?” His arms tightened around you and while slightly uncomfortable, you appreciated the affection. 

“I promise,” he mumbled and then he fell back asleep. You tried your best to do the same, but images from your nightmare and his father’s words clouded your head. Would you be the next Jessica? Left behind as someone new caught his attention? Was she even left behind or was he just telling you that to appease you?