Do You Recall
The All-Parents and Thor listened as Loki started to explain. He mentioned what had to Thor regarding that in his first life, the true reality, he had been the abandoned son of Laufey taken by Odin from the battlefield.
Odin and Frigga wore deep frowns and exchanged a glance while Thor watched with a troubled expression.
“You had a son already, Thor…and you brought Thor and I up believing I was also your trueborn son. Only in the last few years of my life had I been told otherwise. Thor, I, and some of…our friends went to Jotunheim where a frost-ah, a Jotun-” he amended with a quick glance at Thor, “-Grabbed my arm. It turned blue, and I suspected…I went into the Vault and touched the Casket and confirmed it. And then you came to me.” he said as he looked at Odin. “You told me of how I had to come to join your family.”
Loki paused and Odin was silent for a moment before he shook his head lightly. “These…ideas you have, they cannot have happened, Loki…I think perhaps a trip to the healers is in order.”
”I am not mad!” Loki said quickly, and Thor snorted at his side. “Shut up, Thor.” he muttered on instinct, and was surprised about it, as was Thor it seemed as his brow furrowed. “Many things happened after I learned of my parentage…and then I wound up here, in this different reality. I am not sure why-”
”-The liar revealed.” Thor interrupted. “You told me you wished that other Thor didn’t exist. So are you lying to me, to them, or are you just that mad?”
Loki realized his blanket honesty to Thor had come back to bite him and he winced. “I-…I did make a wish, I did not think the creature was serious. Who would? It was…a mistake.” Never mind that he had been thoroughly pleased about it in the beginning.
“What creature?” Frigga asked.
“I know not…it looked like….a sprite. But the form kept changing, it called itself Alastor and said…it fed on misery. It offered me a wish, it seemed like nonsense…but clearly it was not as I am here now.”
“Your memory deceives you, my son.” Odin said gently. “You have been busy of late, in preparation of your upcoming coronation…it is not unusual for the mind to become…unsettled during times of burden.”
“What I say is true!” Loki sighed before his expression turned resolute. “I will show you proof that cannot be denied.” he summoned his sorcery to his hands as he began to conjure illusions of different memories. He especially chose those with Odin, whom would be hardest to convince, and might be swayed to see himself acting as Odin would.
“The Casket wasn’t the only thing you took from Jotunheim that day, was it?"
”No. In the aftermath of the battle I went into the temple and I found a baby. Small for a giant’s offspring, abandoned, suffering, left to die. Laufey’s son.”
“Laufey’s son?”
“Yes."
”Why? You were knee-deep in Jotun blood. Why would you take me?”
”You were an innocent child.”
”No. You took me for a purpose. What was it? Tell me!”
”I thought we could unite our kingdoms one day. Bring about an alliance, bring about permanent peace…through you."
“What?”
”But those plans no longer matter.”
”So I am no more than another stolen relic, locked up here until you might have use of me?”
"Why do you twist my words?"
“You could have told me what I was from the beginning! Why didn’t you?”
”You’re my son…I wanted only to protect you from the truth…”
”What, because I…I…I am the monster parents tell their children about at night?"
“No! No!”
”You know, it all makes sense now. Why you favored Thor all these years. Because no matter how much you claim to love me, you could never have a frost giant sitting on the throne of Asgard!”
Odin collapsed and Loki shouted. “Guards! Guards, please help!"
Loki let the illusion fade as he stared at his father, the wrong father, not the one to answer for his words that day or what he’d done in battle years past. But an Odin all the same. “You fell into the Odinsleep…Thor was banished at the time, and I became-very temporarily-King of Asgard.”
Odin seemed mildly stunned by the illusion and at the name ‘Thor’ he glanced to the frost giant who looked somewhere between amazed and confused.
“...Why was ‘Thor’ banished?” Frigga asked.
Loki sighed. “Before his coronation, frost giants entered Asgard…Thor was enraged…he decided we should go to Jotunheim to teach them a lesson.” he left his part in it all out. “We snuck into Jotunheim and nearly caused war with Laufey…Thor and Father argued. And then Father banished Thor to Midgard as a mortal.” he waved his hand and showed that as well.
“You are a vain, greedy, cruel boy!” Odin screamed at Thor, golden haired and blue-eyed, dressed in armor and imposing as the Golden Prince of Asgard.
“And you are an old man and a fool!”
“Yes…I was a fool, to think you were ready.”
“Father-” Loki started.
“-Fie!” Odin thundered before he looked to Thor. “Thor Odinson….you have betrayed the express command of your king. Through your arrogance and stupidity, you’ve opened these peaceful realms and innocent lives to the horror and desolation of war! You are unworthy of these realms, you’re unworthy of your title, you’re unworthy of the loved ones you have betrayed! I now take from you your power! In the name of my father and his father before, I, Odin Allfather, cast you out!”
Thor’s armor and powers were stripped from him as he was cast through the Bifrost, banished. Odin held Mjolnir to his mouth and spoke an enchantment. “Whosoever wields this hammer, if they be worthy, shall possess the power of Thor.” he tossed the hammer through the Bifrost gate.
Odin watched the illusion, as clear as the last had been. He watched another version of himself speak and move as he recognized himself to do. Odin watched the enchantment placed on Mjolnir, it was one he certainly had the power to do and not one he would expect Loki to have thought of. He watched this young man, this ‘Thor Odinson’, be cast out. But what Loki said was so impossible…to believe reality could be so twisted…it made no sense.
Frigga’s eyes widened at the sight of the red-caped, golden-haired man whom she’d seen a glimpse of when Loki asked if she felt Thor familiar. She looked to where the small Jotun looked stunned. “Thor.” she said softly. One red eye, one blue, flickered her way and she felt a painful certainty in her that she knew him. “Odin…I feel there is truth in what our son says.”
“It cannot be.” Odin breathed.
Thor’s eyes widened even as Loki’s expression became hopeful. “You’re all mad. I am a Jotun! Son of Laufey! I’m not…that As bastard.”
“Language, Thor.” Frigga said, almost curiously, and Thor’s brow furrowed. “…I have told you that before, I think…”
“A number of times.” Loki agreed. “Thor has always been a quick temper.”
Thor stared at Frigga for a long moment before he shook his head slowly. “I am Thor Laufeyson.”
“You are Thor Odinson, brother.” Loki corrected and Thor frowned at him.
Loki waved his hand again and showed a smattering of memories from their childhood. Boys at play in the gardens, tucked in bed at night, a Thor climbing trees while Loki pleaded for Thor to take him too. There was Frigga overseeing them as she drank tea in the garden, and there was Odin with one boy on each knee as he told them a story.
Loki showed the moments before the coronation from a third-person perspective, to truly show Thor the moment, a high level bit of sorcery to manipulate his own memory and the imprint of them in their auras.
Thor fidgeted with his feathered helm anxiously, and Loki noticed as he looked at his brother and then leaned in. “Ooh, nice feathers.”
”This again, cow?”
”I was being sincere!”
”You are incapable of sincerity.” Thor accused playfully.
”Am I?” Loki asked, grinning before he sobered. “You are my brother and my friend…sometimes I am envious. But never doubt that I love you."
Thor stared at Loki a moment before he smiled, warm and grateful, as he cupped a hand around Loki’s neck in their gesture of affection and the brothers shared a fond look.
“Now give us a kiss.” Loki teased and Thor pushed away with a chuckle.
“Stop that.” Thor said in ‘warning’ as Loki grinned again and the boys settled. He looked back at his helm, anxious still before he asked his little brother quietly. “…Really, Loki…how do I look?"
“Like a king.” came Loki’s soft reply and the brothers shared another brotherly look.
Loki was eager for Thor’s reaction and glanced to his brother, whom he found staring at his hand as he clenched and unclenched it, and then Thor lifted his gaze. The brothers stared a moment, but there was still no recognition on Thor’s end, no sign of the warmth that was once there. “You can’t really expect me to believe that…was me.”
“It was.” Loki said softly. “It is. Deep down, you are the same, I feel it…Mother feels it.” he said, as he looked to her for confirmation.
“...I feel something.” she agreed. “What is it you wished for? How is…’Thor’ here if you wished he did not exist?”
Loki felt his guilt like a weight in his stomach. “I technically wished that ‘Thor Odinson’ did not exist…so…”
“...Now there is Thor Laufeyson…” Odin murmured, his brow furrowed.
“You believe me?”
“I do not know what to believe…but what you showed me…it is hard to imagine it came from your own mind.”
“Why did you wish such a thing?” Frigga asked.
Loki looked to his mother, cast a guilty glance at Thor, and then said quietly. “I would rather not explain all of my reasons but suffice it to say…at the time…I blamed Thor for…many things that I should not have."
Odin stroked his beard as he considered what he’d seen. Even the scenes of Loki and Thor as children with Frigga and Odin of appearances that would coincide with their ages at the times…it was hard to dismiss, but to believe Loki was…how could it be true?
“And look at him. Golden hair, blue eye, no other Jotun has that. And you said yourself Mother, if you had a son you would have named him Thor!”
Frigga considered it as she looked to Thor before she rose from her chair and headed towards Thor.
“Frigga.” Odin said sharply.
She held up a hand. “Be calm, husband. I know what I am doing.” she said confidently as she approached Thor who looked increasingly tense.
Loki worried that Thor as he was would lash out and he was ready to stop him if need be.
Frigga stood in front of Thor who scrambled to his feet to stare at Frigga with an almost anxious expression, to Loki’s astonishment. She looked into his eyes a moment before she held out her hands with the palms up. “May I see your hands, Thor?”
Thor froze as his eyes widened slightly as he stared back at Frigga. “Why?” he managed to ask. He felt strange about the woman, there was something about her that made him…restless.
“I wish to see if I might find any hint of what Loki claims of you. I was raised by witches, I see with more than eyes.”
Thor looked alarmed by that, but Frigga offered him a gentle smile. He hesitated and then barely set his hands in Frigga’s.
She curled her fingers around his hands as she closed her eyes and sought out any feelings or visions.
Frigga heard the laughter of children, the hum of a lullaby in her voice.
“I love you, my sons."
”Thor, come and meet your new little brother…his name is Loki."
“Mother, look at me! Do you like my cape?” A flash of red cape and gleaming golden hair.
“Take care of your brother, Thor."
“Yes, Mother! Come, brother.”
“Tor!”
“I am so proud of you, Thor, my son."
“I love you, Mother."
Frigga pulled away with a faint gasp as a tear slipped down her cheek, and Thor’s eyes too were wet as a tear tracked down his cheek and froze. “My son.” she whispered.
Thor looked utterly terrified at the whispered words, and didn’t move.
“Mother, you remember?” Loki asked urgently.
“...Not with true memory…but in the memories of my heart…no wish could erase the love I have for my children.” Frigga said firmly. “…I believe you are my son.” she told Thor whose eyes widened.
“I-n-…I can’t be.” he stammered, and jumped when Frigga’s hand found his cheek in a gentle caress.
“Loki either speaks the truth, in which case you are our son and we must do all in our power to set right what was broken. Or he is mistaken…in either case, I hope you will stay, so that we might find out.”
“You want me to stay here?” Thor asked.
“Very much so.”
Odin watched his wife, he heard the sincerity in her voice and the sliver of steel. His wife was a queen, a goddess, a warrior, and a mother. Frigga had senses beyond senses, and if she spoke as she did after examining Thor…he was hard pressed not to believe her. But that would mean the frost giant was his son, and that Loki was his adopted son, and that he had wished away Odin’s child…what was he to do about that? To think about that fact? Especially when he remembered only Loki, and loved his son.
“At the very least.” Odin finally said. “Until we have discovered with certainty, one way or the other…I agree that you should stay.”
Thor seemed again stunned as he looked from Odin, to Frigga, to Loki.
Loki offered his brother an encouraging smile.
Thor shifted uncomfortably and slowly slipped his cheek from Frigga’s hand. “…Your people are already afraid of me.” he muttered.
“That will be for us to worry about.” Frigga said firmly but kindly. “We will have a room readied for you. Give Loki a list of anything you need or would like, I am unfamiliar with what the Jotnar require.” she glanced at Loki. “I assume you have not had time to make him a charm for the heat?”
“No, Mother.”
“I will make it.” she said decidedly before she looked back at Thor. “Loki will show you around the palace and to your room when it is readied…we will take dinner together this evening, after which, I hope you might agree to join me in the gardens and speak with me awhile.”
Thor looked overwhelmed by all of that. “I am a Jotun.” he blurted out, like she had somehow missed that and it would make a difference.
Frigga gave him a patient, amused smile. “I can see that.”
“You don’t…really believe all of…that…do you?”
“This may seem strange to you, but a mother’s love for their child is…absolute. My children mean the world to me…and when I held your hands and looked between us…I found that love there, Thor. Memories may be altered, but hearts cannot. And I feel in my heart a mother’s love for you.”
Thor’s expression grew pained at the first bit as his gaze averted a moment and then returned to Frigga’s and listened carefully. As she spoke warmly and sincerely, and finished as she did, his mouth fell open slightly and then closed.
She smiled again as she lifted a hand to his head and gently ran her fingers through his hair. Frigga had a sense that she had done so many times before, and Thor didn’t tense but instead seemed just slightly to lean into it as he stared, transfixed, at Frigga. “I need no answer.” she reassured him, as Thor seemed at a loss. “But now you know what I believe. And I hope that you believe that I am glad you are here, and that I hope you will stay.”
“I will.” Thor said, almost quickly before he shuffled and seemed strangely sheepish. “Just to…be sure…” he added in a mutter.
“That is good to hear.” Frigga said kindly as she smiled at Thor and then looked to Loki. “I will have the charm sent to Thor’s room.”
At ‘Thor’s room’, Thor’s expression revealed a hint of wonderment before it shuttered again.
“Understood, Mother.”
“And now your Father and I will speak…for the time being, a deflection enchantment, I think.” Frigga said as she brushed his fingertips over Thor’s chest.
Thor looked a little alarmed again. “What was that?”
“Gazes will pass over you, you will…blend in with your surroundings as long as you do not draw attention to yourself. I think the cloak will not be sufficient now.” she advised, having taken the measure of the situation.
Thor shot Loki a frown. “Why didn’t you just do that to begin with?”
“For one thing, you were wearing only a loincloth.” Loki wasn’t going to say ‘you were practically naked’ in front of his mother.
Thor’s eyes narrowed at that, before Frigga shifting her stance caught his attention and Loki noted Thor’s expression visibly softened.
Loki had been moved by his mother’s words about a mother’s love, and surprised by the expressions Thor made during his interaction with Frigga. He might almost have thought Thor held some memory of her, as Frigga intimated she did towards Thor…but why wouldn’t Thor have those feelings towards him? Unless…it was because Thor bore him no love any longer…he had never come to visit Loki in prison after all…
“Then I will see you both this evening.” Frigga said, and Thor gave a slight nod before Frigga gave Loki a pointed look.
“This way, Thor.” he said as he motioned his brother to follow, and Thor gave a lingering look at Frigga, a glance at Odin, and then left.
When he was gone, Frigga sighed and turned to Odin.
“What did you see?” Odin asked.
“...Only glimpses. Mostly it was as I said, feelings…but in my heart…I recognize him. He calls to me, as a son to a mother…and my heart was quick to answer.”
His wife’s way of speaking of her powers did not always mean much to him, but he knew it carried weight with her. “Then…you believe he is truly our son…"
“...Yes. But that too is a problem…I have not been able to carry a child to term since we lost our Balder…so how came we by Thor?”
“...if Loki was sired of Laufey in this last life, as he claims, if we humor this…tale. Then perhaps Thor came by way of Gaia.”
“...How could a son of Gaia be swept up in such a spell? What creature would have such power?”
“If we are to fix this, if indeed there is something to be fixed, we will need to find out.”
“You are still disbelieving? I know you, Odin. The visions Loki showed us…they are as you might well have done. The enchantment on Mjolnir was one you alone could have crafted. How came Loki to imagine it?”
“I thought so too.” Odin noted with a weary sigh. “But if his tale is true…then the son we brought into our home betrayed our family and cursed our other son…what are we to do if it is so? And why would Loki seek to bring him back now?”
“...Loki has ever been perceptive of everyone but himself…he spoke in past terms when he spoke of blaming Thor. Perhaps he has come to regret what he has done. You saw as well as I the way he looked at Thor. Loki so rarely shows such strong emotions, but he was fearful on Thor’s behalf, concerned.”
“Thor tried to strangle him.”
“Thor was frightened.”
Odin frowned. “Are you approving of his actions?”
“Of course not. But I do not believe there was malice in them…Loki said he was upset by the healing room.”
“The healing room? Why?”
“I will ask him when we speak later.”
”I do not want you alone with him, Frigga…regardless of what you believe, or what the truth might be, he knows himself only as a son of Laufey. And he has shown himself to be violent.”
“I can handle myself, Odin.” Frigga said sternly. “I have bested you before.”
Odin grimaced at the reminder, Frigga had been a fearsome warrior in her day. “All the same…”
“I have a feeling our son will stay close at hand. He is drawn to Thor.”
“If his tale is true, they are brothers. Contentious brothers.”
“I will take care, my love.” Frigga reassured him as she slipped her arms around Odin’s waist, and felt his arms around her in turn. “And we will all have a chance to speak at dinner.”
“He needs to wear a glamour.” Odin said decidedly.
“I hardly think insisting he alter his appearance immediately will reassure him.”
“How are we to explain a frost giant in Asgard? Supping with the house of Odin?”
Frigga lifted a brow. “The blood of the Jotnar has lined these halls long before Thor’s arrival.” she said pointedly and Odin sighed.
”And none may know of it.”
”Perhaps they should.”
“We have spoken of this before, Frigga, and this is not the time to revisit this"
”If not now, then when?”
”Preferably never.” Odin said decisively as he released his wife with a kiss to her head. “You promised Thor a room and a charm…I will set about controlling the damage done by the event earlier.”
“...Perhaps you might enchant Mjolnir as you did in the vision.”
“What?”
“To see if this Thor could lift a hammer thus enchanted.”
Odin snorted. “It is Loki’s hammer, and how could a frost giant be worthy?” Frigga arched a brow and Odin relented. “I will consider it.” The pair parted and Odin thought on what he had seen. The Odin in the vision had banished a reckless son to Midgard and cast a worthiness enchantment on Mjolnir…a fail safe he certainly would use to prevent another child turning out as Hela had…but what did it all mean? If it were true…what should he do?
--
Thor headed through the halls with Loki, disturbed by what he had seen and experienced with Frigga. The woman had inspired strange…feelings in him. And when she held his hands, in truth, he had heard a woman’s humming and the faint presence of other voices in his mind. Thor felt he was on the verge of remembering something-remembering her even-but then he had lost it and she had pulled away. But when he looked at her…he felt a longing, he wanted to speak with her, to see her. When she had stroked his hair a feeling he could not name ran through him, something soft and warm that reminded him of-
-Well…well, it didn’t matter…It was all a fantasy. It had to be. Thor was the son of Laufey, not this…Aesir Prince, not that armored giant of an Asgardian shouting at the All-Father. He had odd feelings as well when he watched the golden prince cupping Loki’s neck and speaking sweet words between them. What did it mean anyway?
“The neck grabbing.” Thor begrudgingly asked as he interrupted whatever Loki was rambling about in his ‘tour’. “What does it mean?”
”I beg your pardon?” Loki replied with a furrowed brow as he paused.
“In the…the…” he waved a hand. “What you showed.”
“Ah, the illusions…neck grabbing?”
“You and the…other Thor. Why did he grab your neck? What does it mean?”
Loki heard the question and felt a bit like the air had been knocked out of him, and he was surprised at how quickly and deeply the question cut him. He paused a second to clear his throat and steady himself. “…It is…unique to my brother and I. A gesture of affection he started between us.”
“Gesture of affection?” Thor repeated skeptically.
“An expression of care…of…love.”
Thor seemed dubious about that. “Grabbing a neck shows ‘love’?” he shook his head. “As.” he said, like Asgardians on a whole were a sorry lot indeed.
Loki looked away as he composed his expression. “Did anything you saw seem familiar?”
“No. I’m not that Thor. If he even existed.”
Loki had the temptation to lash out, to snap at the stubborn half-Thor beside him but he needed to rein himself in. “You seemed…intrigued by Mother.” he said, to avoid describing the faintly awestruck look Thor had given her.
“...She is a strange woman.” Thor muttered and Loki frowned.
“She called you her son.”
“Madness runs in the family?” Thor suggested, surprised when Loki whipped around and narrowed his eyes.
“Do not insult our mother.”
“Your mother.” Thor said, not intimidated in the least.
A pair of attendants passed by and Loki forced a greeting and waited till they were gone to look back at Thor who had started walking again. “You have no reason to dislike me so much. Have I done you any real offense?”
“According to you, you erased ‘me’ from existence. Does that count?” Thor asked with a hint of sharp mocking before he looked away again.
“You don’t even believe that, what do you care?”
“If I don’t believe it, I have no reason to talk to you. If I do believe it, I have no reason to talk to you. Should probably kill you either way though.” Thor mused with a taunting look that made Loki think he had added the last bit just to jab at Loki.
Loki’s jaw tightened at that. “You keep threatening me, but I am one of your only allies here.”
“Didn’t ask for allies, did I? I asked to go home.”
“...To Jotunheim.” Loki said with a frown.
“Exactly. You’re not as slow as I thought, Asgardian.”
Loki again had the temptation to meet Thor’s spite with anger. It was not in his nature to be so passive and attentive, to let himself be routinely insulted or threatened. What most held him at bay was the fact that whether Thor regained his memories or not, treating him poorly or cruelly after what he’d done would cost him Thor just as much as wishing him away. That and the guilt, and the knowledge that he was responsible for all Thor had lost and whatever rough life had led to his prickly temperament.
Laughter rang out in the courtyard and Thor paused as he walked to the window and looked down where a group of children were playing.
“I will find the frost giant and slay him!”
“Fear not, I, the Raven Prince am here! I will slay the monster!”
“Thor.” Loki tried to distract his brother. “Would you like to see the gardens? Mother wishes to take you there later but-”
“-Shh.” Thor said dismissively as he continued to watch the group of some ten children, boys and girls at play.
Loki was puzzled by the action and the intensity of Thor’s gaze on them. An uneasy feeling settled in his stomach as he remembered the scary stories told of the ‘monstrous frost giants’, that they would capture and eat children. Loki had thought it was nonsense as he’d gotten older…but what if….what if his brother wanted…
“Children here, whenever they get sick…you just…put them in the magic bed?”
Loki could not understand Thor’s fixation on the healing room, or the children now. “Any illness or injury…are you unwell? Is that why you wished to go? If so, I will take you.”
“I don’t need it.” Thor said bluntly as he drew his eyes away with a closed-off expression before he abruptly yanked the cloak off and removed his shoes.
”Ah, Thor-”
“-No one will look at me anyway, right? It’s hot here.” Thor said in a gruff mutter.
It occurred to him suddenly that he’d not given Thor any food or drink since they’d come together, he did not know when Tivan had either. And if this Thor were much like the original Thor, he would hide his discomfort in as much as possible. “What do you eat and drink?”
“The blood of Aesir.” Thor said in a matter-of-fact tone with no change in expression and Loki’s step faltered. And then bi-colored eyes gave Loki a sideways glance as Thor gave a faint grin that bared his teeth a little. “Relax, Asgardian. I wouldn’t put something so dirty in my mouth.”
Loki had only ever spoken his few words with Laufey, so he had no idea if this style of speech and the content was normal for a frost giant. But Thor’s casual prejudice towards Asgardians made him deeply uncomfortable. He wanted signs of his brother, of the true Thor, but every word and action of this Thor made it more clear how different they were. “I have a name, you know.”
“Congratulations.”
He wasn’t entirely sure if Thor was being outright sarcastic, or if there was a sliver of teasing at play. “Fine. But truly, Thor, what do you eat and drink?”
Thor shrugged. “Whatever I can get.”
Loki’s brow furrowed at that before he tried asking another way. “I am concerned that certain foods or drinks may…not be tolerated by you.”
“No idea.”
“That’s terribly helpful, Thor, thank you.” Loki snapped, a bit fed up with the other man’s attitude. “If you wish to starve, then fine by me-” Thor whirled around in what he had come to recognize was Thor’s preempt of a grab and he beat him to the punch as he caught Thor’s wrist and twisted it painfully behind his back. He snatched Thor’s other wrist as he again had to push Thor against a wall to pin him in place while he kept hold of his hands. Loki’s chest was against Thor’s bare back and he could feel a chill radiating from Thor even through his clothes. Thor struggled and Loki gripped his wrists more tightly. “I have been more than patient with you, Thor. I do not wish to fight with you, but I will not keep letting you pull these little stunts either.”
“Letting me.” Thor repeated in a snarl.
“Yes! Letting you. I am stronger than you, faster than you, I am the greatest sorcerer in Asgard, and I have been fighting with my brother all my life. You are not half as skilled as he was.”
“If I had my daggers-” Thor started angrily before he cut off.
Loki blinked at that. “Daggers…you wield daggers?”
Thor sneered. “You think I can’t? Because I am Jotun-”
Loki whirled Thor around so abruptly it startled the other man, and he met Thor’s gaze a moment before he released his wrists. “Daggers aren’t considered a true choice for a warrior’s weapon on Asgard.” he saw Thor’s expression start to harden and he waved his hands as he summoned his daggers and tilted them to display to Thor. “My brother, amongst others, liked to poke fun at me for wielding them. But I prefer them to any other hand held weapons.”
Thor seemed amazed despite himself as Loki summoned the daggers, and he eyed Loki as he spoke of the other Thor.
Loki considered it and then held out the hilt of a dagger to Thor. “I don’t let others touch my daggers but…for you, I will make an exception. Provided you do not try to stab me with it.” he said in a tone of warning.
Thor hesitated like he expected trickery, but after a few seconds he snatched the dagger from Loki’s hand and tensed, as if again awaiting a negative outcome. Loki kept his expression neutral and waited, and Thor’s gaze slid to the dagger as he examined it. He traced his finger along he blade and poked the tip. “How can it be so sharp?”
“Pardon?”
“...The blade is thin.”
“Are your daggers not?”
“...Not like this.” Thor said with a frown before he glanced at Loki, and for a moment, he was sure Thor was about to try to attack him with it. But then Thor tilted the hilt towards Loki and offered it back to him. “Water. And frozen meat.”
“Uh-”
“-I drink water. There are sources under the ground on Jotunheim…and we hunt creatures for meat. We eat it frozen…sometimes moss…and there is a…’berry’…they are rare.”
The idea of frozen meat was repellent but it wouldn’t be hard to do. But moss, had Thor truly eaten moss? He didn’t let his incredulity show. “Easy enough…thank you for telling me.” he offered as he made his daggers disappear.
Thor eyed the disappearing daggers with an almost wistful look. “Are you really the greatest sorcerer in Asgard?”
“Yes.” Loki said as he motioned them to start walking again and Thor complied. He got a few strange looks but polite greetings from a group of passerby as Loki seemed to be talking to himself. “You used sorcery earlier, did you not?”
“What?”
”The…wall of ice.”
“That’s not sorcery.” Thor scoffed.
“...Then what is it?”
Thor shrugged. “Ice.”
Loki refrained from making a biting or sarcastic comment, this Thor would surely not tolerate it. “But how do you make it?”
“...With my hands?” Thor said, in a tone that suggested he thought Loki was a complete fool for even asking.
Stay calm, relax, Loki. He told himself. “What about the ice on my hand, you…did it with your mouth?”
Thor seemed to be debating his response and then begrudgingly said. “Frost bite touch.”
“With your mouth?”
“With my lips.” Thor corrected.
“A frost bite kiss then?” Loki asked, and Thor scowled.
“Do not call it that.”
“As you like.” Loki said agreeably.
--
A servant found them shortly thereafter to inform Loki, without a glance towards Thor, that the All-Mother instructed Loki be told the ‘room was ready’ and he handed over a bracelet.
Loki examined the item when the servant left. The bracelet was fashioned of silver with tiny runes engraved in the metal and a few stones, it was cold to the touch. “Here.” he said as he offered it to Thor. “This should help considerably.”
Thor eyed it suspiciously. “That’s all it does?”
“Yes, as Mother told you.”
Thor snatched the bracelet at that and examined it with a frown before he tried to put it on his wrist. “It’s too small.” he muttered.
“I thought-no matter, let me show you.” he reached for the bracelet and Thor drew back. “Thor, I just gave you the bracelet, do you think I mean to take it now?”
Thor sighed heavily, to Loki’s puzzlement though he asked no questions, and he showed Thor how to open the clasp as he locked it around Thor’s wrist. The difference was immediate as Thor’s eyes widened and his skin darkened to a faintly deeper shade of blue.
“Good?” Loki asked, and Thor nodded. “Excellent…then I will show you to your room.” he said, and noted the way Thor toyed with the bracelet as they walked. The room ‘next to’ Loki’s had been designated Thor’s and he opened it and motioned Thor inside.
Thor hesitated at the entrance and glanced at the hallway, then in the room, and then down the other hallway.
“What?” Loki asked, annoyed, what was the issue now?
“If I see a cage or chains in there, Asgardian…”
Loki felt sick to his stomach at that, as he realized Thor’s hesitance was caution. He feared being trapped in the room, held prisoner again. “Brother-” The endearment slipped out, pained as he was, and frustrated he ran a hand through his hair as he shook his head. Before Thor could protest being called brother he held up his hand. “Don’t bother.” Thor fell silent and eyed Loki warily. “No cages or chains, Thor, you have my word.”
”The word of an As.”
“My word, as Loki.”
Thor scoffed lightly and then seemed to steel himself as he entered. The room was huge, with a large bed chamber, a small desk area, a sitting area, a balcony, a bathroom with a large tub, and a small guest sleeping area. Thor stared at the room faintly wide-eyed. “…Where is…’my’ room?”
“This is it.” Loki said as he gestured around.
“This is many rooms.” Thor said as he looked around with a confused, wary expression.
“...What are houses like on Jotunheim?”
“I don’t know. I slept outside. Or in a cave if I could find one.” Thor said, almost absently, more distracted by the room and the possibility of danger than that he was being a little candid with Loki.
Loki’s expression went slack at that. Thor was at least a thousand years old…he spent that time living outside, or in caves? Jotunheim had been an awful place when they’d gone, but he assumed there was some sort of functional ‘city’ and residence for the monsters. It made sense to him why bedding was so unfamiliar to Thor, even more than he’d expected. “Would that not be dangerous?”
“Not like I had a choice.” Thor said as he peered into the bathroom, and his expression became almost baffled. “What is all this?”
Loki stared at his brother’s back as Thor looked into the bathroom like it was a trap waiting to be sprung on him. The guilt that shot through him was acidic and painful, the pity and remorse nearly choking him. What had he put his brother through? “A bathroom…I will show you how it all works.” he explained the sink, and Thor seemed mystified by the ability to ‘summon’ water from the tap. He smacked one of the faucet handles, startled when it sprayed a blast of water and he’d tensed.
Loki will himself yet again to keep his composure. He explained the function of the toilet, to which Thor had wondered why they didn’t just go outside and Loki settled on there were too many people on Asgard to make that feasible. Rather than pointing out how uncivilized it would be.
They got to the bath and shower, and as Loki explained it and ‘summoned’ the water again, Thor frowned.
“How did you clean yourself on Jotunheim?”
“...We do not leak as you As do.” Thor had said, and it had taken a bit of back and forth to realize Thor meant sweat.
“But surely you bathed?” The question slipped out and Thor’s eyes narrowed.
“Why would I coat myself in water made for drinking? Asgardians.” he again said it like it was a slur.
Thor abruptly left the bathroom and a stunned Loki followed. Loki pointed out his bed and Thor stared at it with nothing short of suspicion.
Loki couldn’t fathom why, but he made a show of flopping onto it on his back as he folded his arms under his head. “This is where you would sleep. It’s comfortable, more so than the outside, I assure you.”
Thor poked at the bed and his lip curled a bit as it squished. “It is soft.”
“...Yes? Should it not be?"
”Soft beds for soft Aesir.” Thor said before he turned away.
“Does everything from your mouth need to be an insult?” Loki asked irritably.
“It doesn’t need to be.” Thor said as he looked around the sitting room.
“...Did you just make a jest?”
“A what?”
”A jest. A joke….teasing?” he tried.
“I know what a joke is.” Thor said defensively. “Why would I joke with you?”
“Never mind then.” Loki muttered and he followed Thor as Thor made his way to the balcony.
Thor went right up to the edge and froze as he took in the sight. He had been quickly ushered through a short bit of city once he’d left the ship, but now he could see the city, the glistening water, and the iridescent Bifrost in the distance.
Loki came to stand beside him, and saw Thor’s wide-eyed…wonder? The expression softened Thor’s face as he stared like he couldn’t believe what he was seeing. “There is no place quite like Asgard."
“There are so many…colors.”
Of all the things for Thor to comment on, he had not expected that. “On the Bifrost, you mean?”
Thor’s brow furrowed. “Bifrost?”
Loki pointed to the rainbow bridge in the distance. “The Bifrost, the rainbow bridge, it connects to the Bifrost Gate. It can take you anywhere in the Nine Realms…is that not what you meant?”
“Jotunheim…has few colors. And is always dark.”
A thousand years of darkness, that was what Loki had sentenced his brother to inadvertently. Tears stung his eyes and he blinked them away quickly. He wished he could reach out to his brother, to offer some comfort, or a brotherly touch, or…anything really. Loki had once been annoyed at how physical his brother was, at the many hands on his shoulder, ruffles of his hair, one-armed hugs and gripping full hugs.
What he wouldn’t give for one now, for Thor to care enough to bother.
“You never need to go back there. You can stay here.” he finally said.
Thor snorted. “When they realize you’re just mad and made all those…illusions yourself…they’ll send me back.”
“No.” Loki said firmly, and Thor looked at him fully. “I know I’m not mad, I know you are Thor but…if the impossible was possible and I was wrong…I would not send you back. Never.”
“A permanent guest?” Thor sounded like he was on the verge of angry and Loki felt he’d been misunderstood.
“No-I…I only mean that I would not make you go back to Jotunheim. You will always be welcome here. I will never let you wear chains or be stuck in a cage again, br-Thor. I give you my word on that too.”
“You offer me protection?” Thor asked, almost sarcastically.
“Yes.” Loki said without hesitation, he had failed his brother before but he would not again. Thor had protected him time and again and he had repaid it by destroying his brother. “Gladly.”
Thor’s expression grew faintly troubled at that before he looked back out over the city. “You are the oaf.” he said.
Loki blinked. “You don’t even know what that means!”
“It was an insult.”
“...Sort of.”
“How can something sort of be an insult?”
Loki debated being forthcoming and then decided there was no reason not to. “My brother and I…had phrases and words between us, like…the gesture of affection. I called him an oaf and a fool, sometimes as an insult, yes…often as an endearment. A…term of affection. He called me a brat.” Loki said with a faint, rueful smile against the clench of pain in his heart.
“Why would you call me that?” Thor asked.
“...As I have said, Thor, I believe you are my brother.”
Thor’s expression twisted into something darker as he asked, almost lightly. “And why is it I don’t remember being your brother?”
“...Because of the wish…you know that already, why ask?”
“Just making sure you remember, so you will not be surprised when I tell you what you should know already.” Thor said as he bared his teeth a little. “You have no brother, just as you wished, son of Odin.” With that, he walked back into his room and Loki stood frozen on the balcony.
Loki felt as though Thor had clenched a hand around his heart and twisted it, and he stared blankly over the city before him. He had brought this on himself, he had done this to Thor, he had done this to them. It was ironic that after all the times Loki had spurned Thor’s attempts to reach for him, Loki was finally ready to accept and it was Thor who wanted nothing to do with him now. He deserved it, like as not, but that didn’t make it hurt any less. Loki would give much for Thor to look at him as his brother again, to offer him that cocky grin that made Loki feel as though all would be well, to have Thor hold him again. Loki would give all for his brother to love him again… A few tears slipped down his cheeks, and by the time he headed back into the room he had wiped all traces of them away.