The Shadow It Fades, But Not Away
And so the days went on, and your heart began to heal. Nothing would erase the horrors you had wrought, but you were convinced now that the inevitable outcome, your defeat of the darkness, would set all things right. You let yourself enjoy the time you shared with Halbrand, not anxious to rush your journey, though not forgetting that haste must be made. Every moment with him was a blessing. Whether it was just the feel of his body as you held on to him on the saddle, or his laughter in the air as he teased you playfully between bites of food, or even the unequalled, unbridled sequences of rapture you gave each other almost every night before slumber. This is what happiness felt like.
Unfortunately, now the more east you rode, the closer the land of shadow grew. Soon in the distance, you could see the blackness that had enveloped the Southlands. It looked a realm of death, a dark place that the forces within you both begged you to consecrate, and the closer you drew to it, the more the evil parts of you stirred, growing restless of your resistance.
"How much longer do you think, Halbrand?" you spoke, raising your voice to be heard over the wind and the sound of the horse's hooves rapidly striking the ground.
"Once we turn south... two... perhaps three days at most. It could be longer if our ride gives out. He's not meant to carry two for this long, nor this fast." he answered you over his shoulder.
"Are we certain there is not a shortcut we could take? To make the journey brief for our boy here, and to divert away from..." your voice trailed off as your eyes darted to the malevolent clouds above the horizon, and Halbrand slowed the steed down to a halt. "Speaking of our boy, let's give him a rest shall we?"
You nodded and hopped off the horse, Halbrand swiftly joining you on the ground. He wandered away from you, facing towards the land he inadvertently ruined, lacking subtlety in avoiding answering your question. Taking in the view before your eyes, you studied Halbrand as he stood on this hill you had come to rest on, his black cloak, his hair, billowing in the breeze. The scenery in the foreground was filled with rich green grass covered in small patches of wild flowers here and there. Trees scattered across the landscape, with mountains framing your vision to the right and of course, in the distance ahead.
A distance that held within it a jarring contrast to the lands before it. Flashes of lightning, bright as the stars, burst through the thick plumes of cloud that were more like smoke, like a poisonous gas consuming all it touched. Everything was darker than you remembered last time you looked upon it, and the shadow was spreading quickly. Suddenly your eyes were pulled to a single location. Orodruin. You could just make out the bursts of lava and fire that erupted from its peak.
A chill ravaged your senses, and your mind took you back to the nightmares Sauron had seeded within you. You remembered the first of them, where you had stood side by side with your love, in a location not too dissimilar to where you were presently. That same black cloak, it moved in reality exactly as it did in your dream. Absorbing all light and reflecting nothing back but the evil trapped within. What thoughts were passing through Halbrand's mind as he stared at the land he had sought to make his own, first as Sauron and then as king of the Southlands? Was the tragedy of what had transpired too much for him to bear? Or was his darkness roaring in his chest in a maniacal applause? The most eager it had been to steal victory over its enemy and claim Halbrand's body and spirit at long last.
Halbrand turned his head slightly, gazing at you with one eye over his shoulder, an eye that was consumed by fire. You gasped and he turned to face you, both his eyes aflame. He slowly raised his arm, gesturing for you to come near. You did not move, only watching as he morphed into the monster you both dreaded he would become. Sauron. The shadow raced towards you both, stretching out above you and beyond, stealing all light and warmth. Adorned now in charcoal armour, complete with crown and a vicious sceptre, the dark lord carved an imposing sight, his black cape frayed yet still flowing ominously. It was then you noticed a thing of colour on the hand that reached for you, a band of gold. A ring. He smiled with wicked delight, speaking your name with no trace of Halbrand's voice left to be found.
You couldn't resist. Slowly moving towards him, your body filled with desire, arousal, excitement. You wanted this. As you made to take his hand, you noticed the ring on his finger was illuminated with words you could not read. Upon contact, your hand began to burn, and with a flash of white light, all was revealed to have been in your mind. For you looked over at Halbrand, struggling to catch your breath, and he had not moved an inch. Still staring mournfully towards the black land that wished to claim you.
He turned his head, mimicking his movements in the vision that had just plagued you. Yet thankfully, his eyes were not of fire this time. You walked carefully to him, struggling to convince yourself that what your mind had just conjured had been unreal. Detesting the darkness within you for tricking you so, you decidedly took Halbrand's hand in your own without hesitation, to show you had not been spooked by what you had just seen, refusing to give it the satisfaction that it craved.
"Are you alright, my love?" you asked him, forcing your own troubles to the background.
He spoke without looking at you. "So much... darkness. I thought... I thought I would be satisfied when this day came. I remember when Morgoth and I first spoke of this plan... that even in defeat, we would be victorious. We would still have a claim to this Middle-earth, and no power would be able to stop us." You felt his grip on you tighten, and you grabbed his other hand, pulling him to you so he faced the shadow no longer. "It's amusing what the passing of time does to one's purpose." Halbrand finished his thought with a small smile, yet you could still see the anguish in his eyes. It wasn't going away. For either of you.
"I... I still crave it. Power. I see this land before me and yes I am horrified by what it has become... though... I cannot help but imagine... what I could make of it... what I could... create." His eyes were alight with the possibilities you knew he was imagining, and you saw him begin to drift away from himself. "Halbrand!" you cried, taking his face in your hands in an attempt to ground him. "Let it lie, do not give in to it. Do not give it what it wants."
"You don't understand... you cannot conceive just how long I have waited for this!" he yelled, pulling your hands off of him. "It's right there! My kingdom! My... throne."
"No, Halbrand! No!" you cried out in desperation. "Your kingdom awaits you still, your people await you! We will reach them soon and you will forget about this dark place. It is not your destiny, remember? Remember our love, remember the people we slaughtered, remember our quest for redemption, remember Galadriel..."
The exasperation began to quell within him, his face losing the mania it was beginning to succumb to. "Galadriel..." The elf's name was thick with sorrow as it escaped his lips. Her name had seemed to trigger the goodness in him to come forth, a key that locked away his darkness. "I pray she will see what we become, what we will do for this world."
"She will, my love, she has to. Galadriel told me that she bid you to be free of your past. She only wants goodness for you."
"That was before she found out the truth. It will take much more convincing than I think either of us capable of. We have to find a way."
"Then let us linger here no more. Our sanctuary, our chance... it is almost upon us."
Halbrand took you in his arms, pressing his lips lovingly against your own. The kiss was brief but beautiful, the two of you holding each other atop this hill, the wind running through your hair, your clothes. Resting your head against his uninjured shoulder, you both stared at the shadow one last time, letting it galvanise you like never before. Like the war that raged within, this darkness was visible and uncompromising. Battering against the light, seeking to infect it. The land of shadow existed now to remind you of your cause, of what you must do, must overcome.
Halbrand placed a lingering kiss upon your head. "Thank you," he said, uttering your name.
"No need. I'm just relieved I was able to pull you back this time."
"As am I." He ended his sentence with another brief contact of your lips, before taking your hand and leading you back to where your boy awaited for the journey to continue.
You rode on down the hill, the former Southlands disappearing temporarily from your view, only the edges of its clouds now visible. After a few more miles of galloping, you had finally reached the point where you would turn south for Pelargir, turn away from the clutches of evil. Looking out at the mountains before you and how they stood like the fangs of a beast, anxiety began to brew, unstoppable in your mind. You feared that there was still a chance Halbrand would ride on, continuing towards treachery. The relief you felt however when he turned your steed southward was unquantifiable. You let him know with a loving squeeze of his arm and a kiss to the back of his neck. A smile spread wide upon your face. Your struggle was far from over, but the direction in which you were headed now gave you such strength to continue on. The shadow was at your back, where it should be.
Another sunset began to burn the sky, you had lost count now of how many days it had been since you left Eregion. With your arrival at the city drawing nearer, the urgency for it had never been greater. At last, there was hope on your horizon. As the sun gave way to the rising of the moon, Halbrand brought your horse to a stop, and you dismounted, him fastening it to a tree nearby. You searched the sack attached to the saddle for your food, the distance between its opening and you touching the potatoes now the furthest it had been. Clasping your hand around the final one, you pulled it out. "We better make this one count." you stated.
"What of the bread?" Halbrand inquired, as he collected sticks and twigs to make a fire.
"I'm afraid it's almost gone as well." you sighed, hoping there would be no more than two days left on your journey, as you doubted you would be able to make it last much longer. The food had already been stretched out as far as it could, thanks to your love not needing it as much as yourself. You grabbed the remnants of the loaf, and the metal plate, walking over to Halbrand who had been quick to get the fire going. Placing the plate over the fire, you handed him the bread, and sat down between his legs, resting your back against him. He wrapped an arm around you and placed a tender kiss on your temple as you removed your dagger from its sheath to peel the potato. Then he held up the bread to your lips, and you took a bite.
"This bread has really grown on me," Halbrand spoke, his mouth full. "I think the flavour improves with age."
You rolled your eyes. "You cannot be serious."
"Oh yeah, are you joking? Why this is the finest of its kind I've ever had. The course texture, the hardness of the crust, the dry taste that lingers longer than it should. It's a delicacy, and we should be grateful for it."
It was with these words that you stopped peeling and moved to face him directly, a quizzical expression etched on your face. "You know, I'm unsure if you mean what you say or you're just having me on?"
"Perhaps both." Halbrand stared at you blankly, and you glared at him as he took another bite. He snickered at you, the light from the fire dancing in his eyes, and he playfully kissed you on the cheek. You couldn't help but smile slightly at him before turning back to the potato, the centrepiece of your forthcoming feast.
It wasn't long before you were both downing crunchy morsels of the fried vegetable, and you ate slowly, savouring every little bit. "I shall miss those potatoes." you hummed, swallowing the final piece, your hunger satisfied for now.
"There will be more, my love, soon." said Halbrand, giving your arm a comforting rub. Dusting your hands of the remaining crumbs, you moved yourself so your head lay against his chest, your fingertips running over the fabric that covered his stomach. Your love tightened his embrace of you, and you heard a content sigh escape his mouth. Listening to the beating of his heart, a constant drum, keeping the time of his existence, you closed your eyes. Then out of nowhere, Halbrand began to sing, a slow and melancholic refrain with a beautiful crescendo towards the end:
"The fire, o the fire, burns so blindingly
leading me astray across the sea
a pure force used for evil
and bending things to my will
dangerous the flames, they feed
nowhere to run, no warnings to heed
for the light it will consume thee
shackled, it will not free me
the shadow it fades, but not away
retreating, yet there at break of day
unforgiven, haunting this land, no destiny to see
yet all has changed now you belong to me
And now the fire, o the fire, that burns so blindingly
is our love immortal, burning for eternity."
His words were poetry, telling his story almost as if it were a myth, a tale of old. You had not heard Halbrand sing before, and now it was all you wished to hear forevermore. For his voice was divine, lovely and tragic at the same time. There was not a sound like it, nor would any other music surpass it. And you not only heard it, but felt it, experienced it vibrating through his chest as you laid against him. You smiled warmly as you listened, tears glistening in your eyes. Once he had completed his ballad, you lifted yourself up so your faces were barely inches apart.
"Where did that come from?" you asked, stunned.
"You." One word was all he needed to say as he beamed at you, his face glowing in the flickering light of the fire beside you both. You crashed your lips into his without another thought, his hand quickly at the back of your head, tangling itself in your hair as he returned your kiss passionately. Your nails grazed his neck as you clasped him, and he moaned a little into your mouth. Stradling him now, you let your kisses trail along his jawline, to his ear, then down to his neck. The feel of your lips and tongue there on his skin caused him to moan louder. After a few moments of this, he grabbed you by your hair and pulled you back up to face him, desiring his tongue in your mouth once again. It wasn't long before your hands were grasping at his clothes, pulling them off and tossing them aside.
The torc stayed on of course. It always stayed on.
Halbrand undid the clasps of your dress, taking a little longer than usual. "Oh just rip it off, my love." your arousal speaking for you, all logic abandoned. "I did pack others."
"And ruin this... spectacular dress... I think not..." he retorted at you between gasps. With the clasps now freed, he swiftly pulled the garment from your body, immediately lodging his face between your breasts, running his nails down your naked back, causing you to throw your head back and gasp. You knew his hardened length was but a short gap from your growing wetness, but you didn't want to get there, not just yet. Halbrand was all over your breasts, groping, licking, and biting, your nipples were so hard they began to ache deliciously. His movements caused you to buck against him unwillingly, and he chuckled as your pussy lightly touched the tip of him.
"Someone is eager..." he remarked, staring up at you, his voice bathed in lust, his hot breath tickling your skin.
"For you... always." You punctuated your words by pushing him down onto the grass that lay under you both. Wanting to show him just how eager you were, you rapidly adjusted your body, and took his erection into your mouth. Halbrand cried out at the sudden sensation, your name entering the wind. An arm of yours stretched up across his chest, massaging his skin, and dragging your fingernails across his torso. He felt so good inside your mouth, your tongue wrapped around him, your teeth grazing him. Your hand met every movement you made, and you began to taste his arousal. "Wait... stop... I don't... I don't want to... not yet..." Halbrand gasped, his breathing strained.
You obliged him, crawling your way up his body, kissing as you did so. Once you reached his head, he hurriedly grabbed hold of you and kissed you hungrily. Speaking between the touching of your lips, he made a request. "I want you... over me... so I can devour you... whilst you seek your ecstasy..."
"Yes... my king..." And so you continued to crawl over him, until your womanhood hovered above his mouth, just like it had nights before. You looked down as he smirked up at you from between your thighs, and watched as his tongue darted out, instantly striking your clit. "Mmmm..." you sighed with delight, not taking your eyes off him as he devoured you exactly as he promised. It wasn't long before your hips were bucking once more, riding his tongue, his mouth, whilst his hands gripped you tightly, keeping you in place in case your body became overwhelmed and tried to escape.
The feeling was completely consuming, every movement of his tongue, his lips caused a different pleasurable reaction within you. You did not have to tell him to do one thing over another, because it was all unbelievably glorious. Your thrusts into him soon quickened, and you could feel the ecstasy you sought approaching fast. "Halbrand! I'm... I'm going to..."
"Come for me, my love." His words vibrated through you and triggered your release. "Yes... that's it." he encouraged, sucking on your clit. A scream rang out from you, spreading across the land as far as sound can carry. Your orgasm lasted such that time itself felt suspended, and your body trembled violently. Rolling your body off of him, you fell onto your back, the ecstasy still washing over you. Looking over at Halbrand, you watched as he licked his lips then used his hand to wipe his face, grinning, no doubt satisfied with the pleasure he bestowed upon you. He then turned over to face you, propping himself up with one hand, teasingly stroking his erection with the other. You bit your bottom lip at the sight of him.
"Who needs food when I can feast on you...?" he spoke, his voice low and raspy. You laughed in response, still catching your breath. You moved a hand to his face, which he kissed before taking your thumb into his mouth, the sucking tormenting you. Sighing sensually at his touch, you rose up to replace said thumb with your tongue. Exchanging more kisses of hunger, you lured him to sit upright, deciding your body was more than ready to have him inside of you. A lascivious smile spread upon your face, as you placed your hands on his shoulders and knelt down onto his hardness, letting it slowly enter you. The moans that escaped you both were loud, the penetration simply exquisite.
Halbrand's hands clutched your back as you began to move yourself up and down, savouring the thickness of him as it grazed deep in your wetness. Placing your hands around his neck, you leaned in to kiss him once more, your tongues colliding in a frenzy before your lips even touched. It was then your motions on him increased, and your moaning suddenly jumped an octave as your already sensitive clit grinded against him with every thrust. Halbrand stared deeply into your eyes, his face taken by the building of ecstasy within him. You held his gaze the entire time, not desiring to look anywhere else, nor to close your eyes in surrender to the pleasure. You were drowning in each other, breathing heavy and fast, soaked in sweat.
"I love you... so much..." whispered Halbrand, barely able to get the words out. You kissed him lovingly, your movements slowing, and replied, "And I... love you..." before crashing your mouth into his once more. It was then that Halbrand took control. Still holding onto you, remaining inside of you, he changed swiftly from sitting to resting on his shins. You wrapped your legs and arms around him, clinging to his body desperately as he thrusted deeply into you, his strength on display.
Your hips met with his again and again and again, his speed was relentless. Foreheads touching, open mouths hovering over each other, you both dug your fingernails into each others backs, no doubt drawing blood. It was this small burst of pain that pushed you both off the edge. Your cries collided as you howled into each other, the euphoria almost too much to bear, you wondered if you might expire completely. His tongue darted out searching for yours, which you took into your mouth, sucking on it feverishly. As you both began to descend from the incredible high you just reached, your kissing became more loving as the lust faded from you. There were long and slow touchings of lips upon lips, with one of Halbrand's hands holding your head. Time really had stopped, and you wished this moment would last forever.
Eventually though, you felt the fire beside you begin to wane, and the chill of night started to creep in, forming goosebumps on your skin. "I think sleep is calling us, my love." Halbrand admitted, placing small kisses on your lips and cheeks, before laying you down on the grass, removing himself from within you. He wandered over to your bag, grabbing a blanket, then quickly put out what remained of the flames, taking his place beside you, his body and the warm material ensuring those goosebumps would fast fade away. "I don't wish to sleep... even though we must. I haven't dreamt since before I learned the truth of you." you confessed as you nestled into each other.
"Maybe you don’t need to dream any longer. I'm right in front of you."
His words were romantic but a little too saccharine. You chuckled, "You think quite highly of yourself, don't you?"
"Well I am a king after all... it shouldn't be beyond me to act the part... just a little." He placed a kiss on your forehead, giving your body a squeeze.
"Oh your people are going to love you." you teased, a hint of sarcasm in your voice.
"I hope so." The last words he uttered filled with honest uncertainty. Perhaps it would be best to keep that infernal vision upon the hill to yourself, for what good would it do to reveal it? Unless of course, he has already glimpsed it. You attempted to search his eyes for the answer, but before you could find it your body succumbed to its much needed rest.