Two Sides
Galadriel informed you that you were riding for the realm of the elven smiths, Eregion. "The journey's long so we mustn't stop. Time is not in Halbrand's favour."
"How long?"
"If we keep to this pace... six days."
Six Days? "I'm afraid I won't be able to stay awake that long."
"You can rest. I will guide your horse whilst you sleep."
"Will... will Halbrand make it to Eregion?" you asked, fearful of the answer.
Galadriel was solemn but determined. "He must."
"Will you?" Your question directed to the man at your back, and you felt your love rest his chin on your shoulder.
"I will do my best." He placed a tender kiss underneath your ear. Both of Halbrand's arms were wrapped around you tightly as you rode. You knew that as long as his grip was good, everything would be okay. The only respite from the arduous task at hand was the scenery before you. Middle-earth was truly remarkable. The parts you knew were more beautiful than you remembered, and the parts you didn't were even more magnificent than you could have imagined.
You rode through grassy fields of green and gold, under the canopies of ancient trees that scratched the sky, across rivers of crystal clear water, and over hills and mountains filled with impressive rock and granite. During the journey, Galadriel bid you rest when you could not keep your eyes open any longer, and they would close on one location and open up on another. She was true to her word - you did not stop riding.
Few words were exchanged between the three of you during the six days it took to reach the elven city. Galadriel was unwavering in her conviction to reach your destination, and you were grateful to have her by your side. Halbrand was very fortunate to know someone such as her. This made you think on the disagreements you and he had had back on the ship. And how neither of you were yet to discuss what needed to be said. How Halbrand had not yet revealed his past to you. How you had not yet told him of your foul deeds, which were now deeds plural thanks to your slaying of Nisarien. The darkness within you both was still waiting to come to light.
You saw an opportunity, a few days into the ride, when Galadriel had situated herself enough gallops away and ahead of you that you felt you could speak with Halbrand and not be overheard. Although you didn't want to say too much just yet, and not because of Galadriel being nearby, but because of the frail health Halbrand was now at the whim of. But you had to tell him something. Just in case he...
"Halbrand... are you awake?" He didn't say anything, only giving your body a small squeeze to let you know he was still alive, his strength clearly fading. "I... I need to tell you something."
He rested his head back on your shoulder, his new favourite spot. "Yes, my love?"
"It's about... the darkness in me. I've done things... terrible things... things I've never done before... and I don't know why."
He hummed in your ear, prompting you to continue. This was it. You were going to say the words aloud, make them real, giving form and truth to your misdeeds. There was no going back. Despite the horrible sensation in your stomach, you spoke the facts you had been desperate to expel from your soul. "I killed people, Halbrand."
You were expecting his body to react, shift in the saddle you shared, or him to let go of you completely. But he did not. He only whispered into your ear: "Tell me."
"The first... on the ship before we departed. It was when I snuck aboard."
"Did someone discover you? Before Galadriel?"
"No, it wasn't that."
"Then what?"
"He... he said he'd wished you and Galadriel had drowned in the seas before Elendil found you. I couldn't help myself... I became filled with a rage I had never known."
Halbrand didn't skip a beat. "And the second?" His tone was void of emotion. He spoke as if he knew you had only killed two.
Tears were welling up in your eyes, and your fear was returning. Why was he not sickened by what you were saying? What darkness was in him as well? "Only days ago, a woman at camp. I had thought you dead then and... she was insolent... disrespectful of you... and she questioned me! I... I was consumed by that same rage once more... their blood is on my hands... because of you. I killed them for you."
"And they deserved it, my love." Halbrand's voice was low, coated in that darkness again, like that night on the ship when you recoiled from him in terror. Your breathing became heavy, the hairs on the back of your neck standing up. "They d-deserved it?" Your voice was trembling.
"They committed treason against the king of the Southlands. You only acted accordingly."
Your mind flashed back to the last moments of the nameless craftsman and Nisarien's lives. You let yourself remember that feeling, that fury that had welled up inside you. Their words of disgrace washed over you again as if they had just been spoken. Your knuckles whitened as you gripped the reigns as tight as you could, as the anger had returned. The breath from you was coming out faster and faster.
"Yes... I can feel your heart racing..." Halbrand spoke with a small chuckle. "They deserved it, did they not?"
"Yes, my king. My love." You did not hesitate to reply, finally so sure that taking their lives had been the right decision all along.
"That's right." spoke Halbrand, his breath on your neck. The next sensation you felt was his teeth on your earlobe. He sucked on your skin for a moment then released you. "You are worthy to be my queen." he whispered into your ear, making you smile. You felt your desire for him stir deep within you, and you wanted nothing more in that moment to stop the horse, straddle Halbrand on the very ground beneath you both, and ride him for a change.
You finally felt so free. The burden of your secret had vanished. Halbrand did not reject you, he embraced you. For it seems that your own darkness matched his in kind. He was very pleased with you, the pride in his voice told you that much. Yes, you had taken two lives, but it was in the service of your king. There was a greater purpose that demanded their sacrifice. They were not acts of violence wasted on innocence, no. They were reminders to you of your place as future queen. Silent warnings for the masses that could echo loudly through the lands if given the opportunity.
"Halbrand... what of the darkness in you then... will you not tell me what secrets you keep?"
There was that chuckle again. "All in good time. Once I am healed, I will reveal everything."
"Don't you mean if you are healed? Or has hope worked its way back to you?"
"Maybe..." he snickered. "But for now, I must rest, my love. Forgive me."
"Nothing to be forgiven for." You turned around to him then, so you were face to face. For the first time in days. And all because you craved a kiss. His eyes studied your lips briefly, before he let the gap between you close. It took all your will to keep that kiss under control. Sadly, it ended sooner than you both would have liked, and you turned back to look ahead, Galadriel in your sights once more. You felt Halbrand rest against you, and succumb to sleep, thankful he was so close.
One morning you awoke to find a city on the horizon, a mountain at its back. Eregion. "Halbrand, we're almost there!" you spoke, attempting to rouse your love. But he did not respond. "Halbrand?" your cries were left unanswered. Luckily Galadriel wasn't too far ahead. "He's not waking up! Galadriel!" the panic in your voice was clear, and she slowed her mare slightly to match your pace. You looked over your shoulder to see the she elf shake Halbrand awake, but it was to no avail.
"We must ride fast, his time has run out." she called out to you, and you took off, thrashing the reigns of your steed, increasing its gallops, pushing it to its limits. After another hour of riding at break neck speed, you had finally reached the city. Under escort by elven guards, and following Galadriel's lead, the three of you rode until there was no more path to tread, coming to a stop before a pair of male elves dressed resplendently in shades of green and grey. You turned to face Halbrand then, and shook him furiously. "Halbrand!" Groaning escaped his lips, and you could not have been more relieved. He was still alive, but barely, his pain overwhelming.
"Galadriel?" exclaimed one of the male elves, watching on astonished.
"Elrond." replied Galadriel. Elrond. You knew that name, for she had spoken highly of him during your journey across the Sundering Seas.
"What has happened?" inquired the elf beside him curiously.
"Enemy lance. Six days ago. We rode without rest. Can you help him?" she pleaded, her urgent tone striking her elf friends, and they did not hesitate to ensure Halbrand finally got the care he needed to survive. You followed the soldiers that carried him into the city, the arms of your love across their shoulders as they held him up. He could scarcely move his feet. Thankfully, it wasn't long before Halbrand was in a bed, his shirt removed, being tended to by the much needed elvish medicine. You sat in a chair across from the bed, letting the healers work their magic, not willing to part from your love once more, until you were certain he would be well again.
You watched on in the distance as Galadriel and Elrond spoke briefly, and she explained to him who Halbrand was. The two elves seemed taken aback by the transpiring of events. “Come. We have much to discuss.” decided Elrond, and the two of them departed to confer privately. Elrond was an old and dear friend, close to Galadriel's heart. She must have been so relieved to see him. You wondered if maybe they had ever been more than just friends? You had only seen them together for barely any time at all, yet you could sense the deep connection between the two. However Galadriel had only spoken of Celeborn during your time with her so far. You hoped you'd get the opportunity to ask about it later, if you weren't grieving the loss of your king.
You turned your attention back to your love then, who was completely unconscious. He almost looked as if he was on the very precipice of departing this mortal realm, leaving you to carry on alone.
"Once I am healed, I will reveal everything."
Halbrand's words resonated in your mind once more. He had been so confident, so certain he would live. It was quite disconcerting, given only days before, when you were back at the Númenórean camp, he was very much signifying the opposite.
"I will join my ancestors and pray they judge me better than I deserve."
You knew there to be two sides to him, the light and the dark. There was one side that was beginning to announce itself as the true Halbrand. Yet, he was clearly at war with himself still, to some degree. Similar to yourself. Whilst you were starting to let the darkness integrate with your light, Halbrand was very much keeping them separate, acknowledging the darkness yes, but contradicting himself at the same time. Sometimes it was still almost as if his darkness did not exist. When he spoke of his mortality, and his mission to be the saviour now of his lands, his people, he was bathed in benevolence, a righteous king. Yet when he had tasted your blood, when he listened to you speak of the death you had caused... there was a monster afoot, and its malevolence had taken hold.
“Once I am healed, I will reveal everything.” True words or false ones? Only time would tell.