"A new day, a new potion” had always been your motto. If only you had known that it would bite you in the ass later.
As the resident witch of the Avengers, it was your duty to make sure that there were always plenty of healing potions available, because let’s be real here, they were always getting hurt. *cough cough* Clint *cough cough*
It was just a regular Wednesday morning when you went to check your supply, and it wasn’t a surprise when you saw that it was nearly empty. They had just come back from a mission after all.
Walking around your witch lair, you grabbed the vital ingredients and then stood around your cauldron. You slowly place the foxglove, redcap fungus, dandelion roots, and bat drool into it.
You began mixing the ingredients together, and began mumbling.
“I hereby invoke the healing properties in this cauldron to combine-”
A loud bang and a certain greasy-haired man interrupted your spell, and came crashing into both you and the cauldron.
“Loki, you bumbling oaf! You should know not to come barging in here!”
He smirked, “Well, Darling, you see, I angered Stark and was in desperate need of a place of hiding.”
You rolled your eyes. Of course that’s why he’s here.
“Just don’t do it again, Greasy.”
Eventually, you began to clean up the mess that he had created. Picking up the cauldron, you checked to see how much was left. There was practically nothing.
You huffed, “Loki, you’re going to reimburse me for those ingredients-”
He was gone. When did he leave? He knew not to teleport in and out of here, it was too dangerous. He must’ve just left when you weren’t looking. So, you continued cleaning, mumbling curses the entire time.
However, your curses were cut short by the sound of crying.
Who would be crying, let alone crying in your lair?
“Hello?” You called.
No one answered. Slowly, you began to walk around your room, and when you made it around the cauldron, you stopped.
Sitting on the floor, in a bundle of green and gold fabric, was a small toddler.
Slowly, you began to approach the little fella. “Hey little guy, how’d you get in here?”
His head shifted to look at you, and once again, you were shocked.
Sitting on the ground in front of you was none other than the God of Mischief...as a toddler.
Trying to conceal your laughter, you asked, “Lokes? What happened?”
He just looked at you with that cute little toddler face and pointed at the cauldron.
Why would he be pointing at the cauldron?
Then it clicked. “Oh my gods!”
You couldn’t stop the laughter this time.
“This is what you get for storming into my lair.”
You stopped when you heard sniffling. Turning your head, you saw a Little Loki with teary eyes.
“I’m sorry Lokes, let’s go get you fixed.”
~~~
Heading downstairs with Little Loki was a struggle. He did not want to face the Avengers as a toddler. But, after bribing him with sweets, he reluctantly agreed.
“Alright guys, I know that this looks a little weird, but it was totally by accident-”
You stopped talking, because by now, Tony would’ve made some sarcastic comment about Loki being a child...and it was weird that he hadn’t.
Turning your head to see what was going on, you couldn’t believe what you saw.
In front of you were the Avengers--who were all sprawled across the room and causing chaos--as toddlers.
“What the fu-”
~~~
It was pure insanity. Eleven toddlers running around, blowing things up, playing with knives, stabbing each other. How did childcare workers deal with this stuff?
Your babysitting consisted of you shouting things no babysitter should have to:
“Loki, don’t stab your brother!” “Tony, stop playing with your repulsors!” “Clint, do not go up into those air vents!”
You’d had to have been trying to control them for hours. Turning to look at the clock, you notice it had not been as long as you thought.
It had only been half an hour...how had it only been half an hour?
You couldn’t handle it anymore. It was too much for one person. So you did the only thing you could. You called in back-up.
And when those golden sparks appeared, you could not have been more grateful, so you ran at him.
Tackling him in a hug you mumbled into Stephen’s chest, “Thank gods you’re here! I can’t deal with this anymore!”
“What’s wrong, Love? You were cryptic on the phone.”
You snuggled closer, “They’re toddlers! They’re all toddlers!”
Stephen, obviously confused, quirks his eyebrow. “Who are all toddlers?”
She pulls back and looks him in the eyes. “The Avengers. They’re all toddlers.”
He laughed. “That’s funny, Love. Now why am I really here?”
Just as you were about to argue back, the mini Avengers all came running into the room...screaming their little heads off.
Wide-eyed, Stephen turns back to you. “What the hell happened here?”
Before you could answer, Tony runs up to Stephen and attaches himself to his leg and screams in his baby-voice, “HULK!”
Quickly turning around and stared at the toddlers, “Which one of you angered Bruce?”
Everyone was quick to point at Tony, and you face-palmed. Of course Tony would anger Bruce.
Just as you were about to berate Tony, a tiny roar of anger is heard, and a Hulk that’s the size of a five year old starts running around the room, flipping the furniture.
You sighed, “Hulk! We do not smash the furniture!”
Quickly running to grab Nat, you make your way over to Baby-Hulk. Holding her in front of him, she touches his face and giggles; causing the Hulk to smile.
Leaving him in her care, you make your way back to Stephen.
“This is why I need your help.”
~~~
After dealing with the Hulk situation, you finally managed to calm the Minvengers down...by bribing them with food.
Stephen kindly conjured eleven high-chairs, with each one personalised for every Avenger. They seemed to enjoy that.
What they didn’t enjoy, however, was baby food.
“Please, Bucky, just a few spoons of mushy plums...please?”
He shook his head. This was hell. They all refused to eat what you were giving them.
Maybe Stephen was having better luck?
“Are you having any luck over there?”
He growled, “Does it look like I’m having any luck?”
Turning you head, you can’t help but laugh at Stephen. He was sitting in front of baby Tony, trying to feed him pumpkin and potato purée. The funny thing was that Stephen was covered in said pumpkin and potato purée.
“The goal is to try and get them to eat it, not wear it yourself.”
He grumbled. “I refuse to feed this thing anymore. You try.”
Quickly kissing Bucky on the cheek, you made your way over to Tony and grabbed the spoon.
“Here comes the choo choo train.” Making train noises as you brought the spoon closer to his face seemed to do the trick, as Tony ate what was on the spoon without any fuss.
With a snarky smile you turned to Stephen, “That wasn’t too hard.”
“Oh come on!”
You giggled. “Let’s keep trying with the others. I’ll take Wanda, you take Pietro.”
“Fighting Dormammu was easier than this.”
~~~
With feeding finally over, it was time for the grumpy Avengers to have a nap. And, of course, this is the time Stephen decides to go to the bathroom; because the Babyvengers didn’t want to have a nap. So they decided to do the next best thing: cause chaos.
Pietro was speeding around the kitchen in circles; Wanda and Vision were floating around the common room racing each other; Clint was once again trying to get into the vents; Tony was zapping Bruce with kinetic energy; Nat was punching Tony for trying to anger Bruce; Thor was running away from Loki, who was once again trying to stab him; Sam was sticking magnets onto Bucky’s metal arm (which somehow shrunk with him); and Bucky was crying because Sam wouldn’t stop.
Running around after these toddlers from hell was not how you were planning to spend your afternoon; but sadly, plans change.
“Clint, so help me god, if you go into those vents, your arrows are going to pay for it!”
Quickly grabbing him, you moved the chair he had moved back to the table, “You’re going to kill yourself doing that! What would I tell Fury?”
Dropping Clint on the couch, you quickly disarmed Loki, making him pout. “You do not stab your brother!”
Stephen finally made his way back into the room and laughed.
“I was gone for five minutes, how did you let it get this out of hand?”
You turned to him and groaned, “Nine super-humans and two gods is a lot for one person to handle, Stephen.”
He smiled, “You know there is an easy way to deal with this, right?”
“Please, tell me, I’ll do anything at this point.”
He laughed, “Use a spell.”
Why didn’t you think of that?
Quickly mumbling at incantation, the baby Avengers all slowly drifted to sleep.
You breathed a sigh of relief, “Finally, peace and quiet.”
Moving the furniture out of the way, you both summoned enough cribs for the Avengers to sleep in. Carefully, you both picked up an Avenger each; and treated them as if they were made of glass.
After about twenty minutes, you both had managed to move the sleepy toddlers without waking them; and quietly celebrated with a kiss.
“You hungry?”
Stephen smiled, “Starved.”
~~~
After a quick meal, you were both running to the room that contained the napping Avengers after hearing a loud thud.
“I swear if Hydra decided to show up today, I’m not going to be a nice witch.” You grumbled.
Throwing the door off its hinges with a powerful blast of white magic, you made your way inside.
“You messed with the wrong witch today!”
Coming face-to-face with regular sized Avengers was not what you were expecting when you ran into the room.
A sense of relief flooded your body when you realised what had happened, “Thank the gods! I don’t think I could’ve dealt with a Hydra attack today.”
They all laughed. Stephen groaned, “You are all terrible toddlers.”
~~~
Laying in bed later that night, Stephen turns to you. “Well, that was exhausting.”
You snuggled into his chest and smiled, “You can say that again.”
“At least we don’t have to deal with that anytime soon.”
You suspiciously hummed, “Practice makes perfect, Lovie.”
Stephen doesn’t respond, clearly confused by what you’re trying to say.
“In case you didn’t understand, I’m pregnant.”
And with that, you snuggled into Stephen’s side even more, and slowly succumbed to sleep.
“You’re WHAT?”