The Thunder
The god of mischief was violently woken up from his nap around two hours later, by a dog’s wet tongue sliding across his face. Somehow when he was asleep, Charlie made his way to his lap, where he was now sitting, neck stretched to reach Loki’s mouth and nose. It was a bit slimy and wet, and maybe a tad gross, but this was still one of the more pleasant ways to be woken up in Loki’s opinion.
Heavy raindrops were hitting the outside of the car in an almost melodic pattern, making it harder for him to fight the drowsiness, and the occasional thunder outside surprisingly didn’t fill him with anxiety. Well, now at least he knew why Charlie climbed into his lap. This storm was far from bad, it was actually rather relaxing, but it seemed as if both Charlie and Zozo didn’t find it that way, as the car was parked by a gas station and Zozo was sitting cross legged on her seat, refusing to drive.
She was also on the phone with someone, talking to them in what Loki assumed was her native language. Unfortunately for him and his growing curiosity, the language she spoke didn’t seem to be Latin, ancient Greek, or old Norse, so he remained clueless as to what she was saying.
“Ah, you woke up.” Zozo whispered, to not interrupt the person on the other side of the call, “I can’t drive in the storm so we made a stop- co? Nie, właśnie się obudził. No dobra spoko. To zdzwonimy się później. Tak mamo, też cię kocham.”
And with that, she hung up.
“What was that about?” Loki asked, his voice still raspy from sleep. Charlie adjusted his position, and was now curled up into a fluffy ball on Loki’s legs, of which the god took advantage by rubbing circles by his ears. Judging by the way the dog’s golden eyes narrowed in pleasure, Loki assumed the gentle touch was very much welcomed.
“It was nothing, really.” Zozo said, watching the interaction between the two, “I was just talking to my mom. We haven’t spoken since yesterday and she was kinda worried about the whole me-inviting-a-stranger-to-a-sleepover situation. Also, it’s storming, and I can’t drive in the storm.”
“Okay.” Loki said, “Is there anything we could do about it?”
There were weirder things he’s seen recently than people knowing how to control the weather, and though so far Zozo didn’t seem to have any magical abilities or weather controlling technology, it would be a rather pleasant surprise right about now.
The girl shook her head, crushing the small bits of hope Loki had.
“I suppose we could try to ask Thor to make the storm go away.” She suggested, though the tone of her voice didn’t really give much confidence. “You know, since he can make it storm, he should also be able to make it go away.”
That would never work.
“That could work.” Loki lied, letting his hands roam through Charlie’s curls. There was nothing much to do if Zozo wouldn’t drive, so why not have a little fun and see what kind of ridiculous ritual he can get her to do before she realizes she is being used for entertainment.
“I tried to google ways to contact him and it just gave me this email address for some guy named Darryl.” Zozo said, scrolling on her phone with a focused expression, “But it’s not like we could use it either way, because we’d just end up alerting the Thor from my timeline if we used my phone. Maybe we could just try to yell out his name, to make Heimdall get him to us?”
“This is certainly a great idea.”
This was the worst idea Loki had ever heard. Heimdall wasn’t a servant, and he certainly wouldn’t just get Thor to them like some sort of magical taxi driver. Loki didn’t even know taxi drivers existed until New York, and he still wasn’t sure what exactly their role in human society was, but on Asgard things like that were unheard of, and Heimdall’s job of transporting people through realms using the Bifrost was highly respected.
“Well, go on.” Zozo prompted, gesturing for Loki to get out of the car, “Call for him. You’re the Asgardian prince, we’ll have a higher chance of success if you do it than if I do.”
Right. For a second, Loki felt ashamed for not thinking about the possibility of him having to do the embarrassing rituals instead of her, but it was too late to back down. Feeling not quite as confident and much more miserable than he had just a minute ago, Loki opened the doors of the car and stuck his head outside.
“Uh, hey Thor!?” He yelled at the sky, trying to look convincing. He knew it wouldn’t work, but he couldn’t stop now. “Could you perhaps come here and… stop with that storm, so we could drive? We have a destination to get to!”
Obviously, the sky didn’t answer.
When Loki stuck his head back in the car, he felt not only wet, but also humiliated and unhappy. This was supposed to be fun, dammit! Next to him, Zozo was staring at the sky with wonder and expectation in her wide eyes, waiting for Thor to magically appear and stop the rain, but to no avail. After about five minutes, she sighed and slumped down on her seat.
“Guess that didn’t work.” She muttered, “Wanna play Subway Surfers on my phone instead? We could alternate our turns.”
Now that sounded enticing. And so they spent the next thirty minutes playing the game on Zozo’s phone, alternating turns like she said, and trying their best to bear each other’s high scores. Of course, once Loki got the hang of the rules, he not only beat Zozo’s personal record, but soon started a competition with himself and kept beating his own newly set record every round. Surprisingly, Zozo didn’t mind, and enjoyed looking at Loki playing the game just as much as playing herself. Soon, they were so caught up and focused on the screen that they barely noticed their surroundings anymore, and didn’t hear Charlie’s low growls or the tall figure making its way up to the car. That is, until it slammed its large hand onto Zozo’s window.
Both Loki and Zozo let out a horrified scream, and Charlie started barking like crazy. Immediately, Zozo climbed onto Loki’s lap for protection, who in turn tried to get physically as far away from that window as possible, until his back hit the door. He then took out a dagger, and pointed at the hand.
“Who are you?” He questioned, trying his best to conceal the shakiness of his voice, “What do you want from us?”
“No, don't speak to it, that’s how white people die in horror movies!” Zozo squeaked, which Loki decided was completely irrelevant advice.
“Brother?” The hand said, and all of a sudden was replaced by Thor’s face squished into the window.
“Oh wow, I guess it did work after all.” Zozo muttered, almost as shocked as Loki was. Though, to say Loki was shocked, would be a gross understatement. This should not have happened. Thor never should have been able to hear them, or cared enough to come. Even Heimdall should have ignored him. He wasn’t important enough to have Thor coming to him at his every will, he never was. Why was he acting like that, all of a sudden?
“Thor?” Loki finally uttered, and tossed the dagger onto the back seat. “Why are you here?”
“You called for me.” His brother answered, as if that made anything less confusing. “I am surprised to see you on Midgard, brother. You always hated this place after all.” He eyed Zozo, still cuddled up close on Loki’s lap. “And who is this young maiden? Is she perhaps a new lover of yours? Oh brother, you should know better than to steal maidens from other realms just to-”
“I’m not his lover!” Zozo squealed, her face flushed again, and if not for the absurdity of the situation, Loki would find this very amusing. To be completely honest, he did find that rather amusing, and with a small mischievous smirk, he cleared his throat, and spoke to his brother, completely ignoring Zozo’s remark.
“I will do as I please.” He announced. “But regardless, I called you here because the… maiden in my lap wishes to journey to a place called Berlin, and cannot do so in a storm. So could you please make it stop storming, so we can go?”
Thor looked at both of them with a raised brow and teasing grin, but without another word, made the storm cease. Now, Loki could see his face clearly, and a mixture of different, confusing emotions hit him all at once. Everything about that wet, oafish figure before him screamed comfort and familiarity. Two things Loki so desperately craved in this hell of new situations he found himself in recently.
It seemed as though Zozo sensed his tension, because she cleared her throat and moved off Loki’s lap.
“Hey, you guys seem to have some stuff you gotta say to each other, how about you have your little heart to heart now, and Charlie and I will go take a small pee break? Does that sound acceptable?” When she saw Loki nod, she took Charlie in her arms and exited the vehicle, making way for Thor to clumsily stumble inside it in her place. “Good luck!”
Loki definitely felt as if he would be needing it. Thor’s eyes were practically drilling a hole in his skull, and while his general presence filled him with comfort, there was a certain anxiety that came with it. What if he does something that will make Thor think he isn’t good enough? What if his brother rejects him? What if he deems him unworthy? Of course, this would be just one Thor out of the millions of Thors across the multiverse, but the rejection would still hurt.
“Brother…” Loki started, feeling his body grow stiff and tense. “It’s good to see you again.”
Usually, Thor’s emotions would be as clear as the sky, his expressive nature making it easy to navigate the conversation. It was no different this time, as the god of thunder smiled widely and let out a deep chuckle.
“Loki, what are you playing at? We saw each other this morning at breakfast!”
Suddenly, the anxiety washed away, and Loki felt his eyes fill with tears and his mouth twist in a smile that almost mirrored Thor’s. He shook his head, and finally looked into his brother’s eyes.
“Does that mean I am suddenly forbidden from missing you?”
“I suppose not.” Thor agreed, and stretched out his arms. “Bring it in, brother. It has been so long since you’ve let me embrace you, and since you missed me so, I shan’t miss this chance.”
The hug was clumsy and uncomfortable, given that it took place inside of a car definitely not designed for brotherly embraces, but it managed to mend the parts of Loki’s heart that were broken, nevertheless. They spent the rest of their time alone talking about Asgard, with Thor babbling about every little thing he and the warriors three had done in the past five weeks, and Loki listening intensely like he never did before. Being around this slightly younger, happier version of Thor, was like being transported into another dimension, where all of his problems were gone, replaced only by his brother’s shenanigans.
And then Zozo came back.
She started off strong by yanking the car doors open, taking out two colorful strings, and putting one around Thor’s neck in a ceremonial manner, then did the same to Loki despite his many loud protests.
“It’s candy necklaces!” She beamed, when asked about the nature of the colorful monstrosity.
“They sell candy in Midgardian bathrooms?” Loki asked, unsure of whether eating that thing would be very hygienic. Thor did not seem to mind, munching on the necklace as he made his way to the back seat.
“You think too much, brother. That thing is delicious and tastes like pure happiness. Thank you, beautiful maiden, for gifting it to us.”
Zozo shrugged.
“No problem. It only cost a dollar, because in 2008 the EU’s regulations on sugar and chemicals were miniscule so they didn’t have to spend money on actual fruit syrup when making those.”
“Which explains why it smells like a dump of toxic waste.” Loki concluded, staring at his necklace with disgust. Surprisingly, Zozo didn’t mind, and only nodded before
putting the candy in her mouth.
And so, Loki became the only person who hasn’t tried the candy, which did not actually make him any happier. Soon, Zozo started driving again, and during the time she and Thor were distracted with listing their favorite types of sweets, Loki ended up putting the necklace in his mouth for a moment. It wasn’t as disgusting as he thought it would be, though he would never let his brother or the girl know. They couldn’t know that peer pressure affected him in any way.
“Hey Loki,” Zozo called for him, which caused the god to spit out the candy in a poor attempt to hide it, “My phone keeps buzzing. Can you read me what’s going on in the group chat?”
“The group chat?” Loki questioned.
“Yea, the group chat.” Zozo repeated, “Texting and driving is dangerous, please read me what my friends are doing. I don’t wanna be left out.”
Loki took one look at the content of that conversation, and threw the phone at his brother.
“I will not be reading that. It is beneath me.” He looked behind him, and gestured at Thor. “You read it instead. The conversation seems to be roughly at your level of comprehension.”
Apparently Thor didn’t have the same sense of pride, because he took the phone from his brother’s hands with curiosity and began reading.
“Ben Dover says, no more about robots eating ass.” Thor read, “Giant Horse Cock says, I’d fuck animatronics, not robots. Milkdrinker says, I’d fuck Bigweld.”
“Which one of them is Liv?” Loki asked, genuinely curious if the person who knew such wonderful, aggressive songs in a language so close to Asgardian would participate in a discussion like that.
“Liv’s Milkdrinker.” Zozo responded, effectively shattering Loki’s faith in humanity once more, “Thor, could you please write “Bigweld honka honka” in there and send it? Thanks a lot.”
“If I may, what is a Bigweld?” Thor asked, not questioning the order besides that.
“If I may, please cease this conversation and never speak of Bigweld again.” Loki asked, which was blatantly ignored when Zozo started explaining the lore of some film called Robots and how two of the characters in that film had quite an impressive backside, one of them being Bigweld, the other Aunt Fanny, which apparently made them both “very breedable”. The god of mischief didn’t know if he understood the implications of that word correctly, and did not ask, in fear of a positive answer. His brother, on the other hand, seemed intrigued, and decided to continue chatting with Zozo’s friends about attractive cartoon robots, once he actually got the hang of using a mobile phone.
Due to the cursedness of the conversation and also a surprising sense of safety and comfort due to Thor’s booming presence, Loki quickly decided to prepare himself for another nap. No one was paying attention to him and sleep was a fantastic way to escape. Though obviously, his companion didn’t let him indulge in some well deserved rest, and just as he was about to drift off, she started poking him.
“What?” He hissed, not appreciating the sabotage on his well deserved rest, then immediately regretted it after seeing Zozo’s face. Her eyes were wide, and she was biting her lip with anxiety.
“Look there.” She whispered, nodding towards the small bridge they were heading towards. On top of it, stood Ravonna Renslayer. Loki’s heart dropped.
“What are we going to do?” He whispered back, watching as the judge jumped down, landing on the thick concrete of the road, and held her weapon in a threatening manner. There was no doubt in either of them that she was planning to prune the car.
Zozo sped up.
“We’re getting closer,” Loki warned, stomach twisting in anxiety, “Zozo, what’s the plan?”
Renslayer’s figure grew closer and closer, still standing in the middle of the highway, unafraid of the car driving towards her at nearly full speed. Surely, Loki thought, Zozo wouldn’t actually intend to run over her and when the time comes, she will swerve… right?
“Hype me up!” The girl shouted, not daring to blink as she crashed the vehicle into Renslayer’s body, sending both her and her weapon flying, before any pruning could take place.
For a moment, everything was silent. Even Charlie, curled up in the back seat next to Thor, didn’t dare make a sound. Then, Thor’s voice boomed across the car.
“Did you just run someone over?”
Loki looked at Zozo with wide eyes, awaiting her answer despite knowing what it would be. The girl seemed to tense even more, which seemed nearly impossible just a few seconds before.
“In self defense.” She finally uttered.
“Great planning.” Loki commented, his voice dripping with sarcasm, “If she didn’t want to kill you then, this will surely drive her to your side. Truly, brilliant thinking, and even better execution.”
“Execution might not be the right word here,” Thor pointed out, looking out from the back window, “She is very much still alive.”
Ironically, this did not fill either Loki or Zozo with comfort, instead a deep feeling of dread creeping its way in their bones. How could they possibly get rid of her, now that she was after them? Was all of this useless? All those hours of driving and bickering and teary confessions, will they go to waste?
“We can still stall her.” Loki heard Zozo say, and his dread grew into desperation. “Thor-”
“No, please don’t.” Loki almost whimpered, hating himself for how weak his voice sounded, “Please, I can't part with him yet, don’t make him go so soon.”
Through the blue of her eyes, he saw Zozo’s heart break at his words, but when he watched her take a deep, shaky breath, he knew it wouldn’t be enough to convince her.
“Loki…” she started, the sadness in her tone matching his.
At that moment, the god realized that this was the only way, and trying to come up with countless bad plans just to selfishly keep Thor by his side, would be pointless. This wasn’t his Thor. He would have to go home eventually, just like Loki would have to go to the TVA. It didn’t matter how much time they spent together, separation would hurt just the same. It was better to rip that bandaid off quickly.
“Fine.” He spoke, trying not to let his voice break, “Thor, if you could, go over there and do what you do best. Keep that woman, who Zozo just ran over, as far away from us as possible, for as long as possible. And do not, under any circumstances, let her touch you with the glowy part of that stick. Do you understand?”
“Yes.” Thor said, nodding his head. “Say, brother, when this is all done, shall we finally meet in the library to discuss that book you like? You’ve been awfully agreeable today, and you look so sad…”
Loki felt tears swelling in his eyes, and took a sharp breath before he opened his mouth again.
“Yes, I shall see you there shortly.”
“Of course you will.” Thor smiled, “Farewell, brother. Take good care of your friend and her small furry creature.”
“I will.” Loki promised, “Let the sun shine on us again.”
And with that, Thor opened the door of the speeding vehicle, and ran straight into battle. Both Zozo and Loki watched him summon Mjolnir from the rear view mirror and fly in Ravonna’s general direction, with a mixture of longing and sadness in their hearts. Though the meeting with Thor was short, it changed nearly everything, making the atmosphere of the car completely different and relaxing Loki in a way only his brother ever could. Without him, it won't be the same.
“So… how much to Berlin?” Loki asked, after he calmed down.
“Just about an hour, maybe two if there’s traffic.” Zozo replied.
“Are you planning to run over any more people?”
“I’d say running over just one person is a pretty solid score for someone who doesn’t have a driver’s license.”
“You don’t have a driver’s license!?”