The Judge
“Alright, from the top,” Loki ordered, smiling from ear to ear as he munched on his pizza. “Pippi is your source of comfort, due to their, as you described it, grandmotherly nature. Rain is the one who understands you instinctively, without the need for words, as if they can read your mind and you can read theirs. Myst is the one you love to share your joy with, even when you think others may find it annoying. And Liv inspires you to unleash your true chaotic potential to the world, without a care for what others might say.” He looked towards Zozo with pride, “Did I understand correctly?”
Zozo swallowed the piece she was chewing, then gave him a toothy grin.
“Hell yea, my guy. You’ve got a fantastic brain in there.” She complimented, “Makes me feel kinda guilty for not really remembering all that much about any of your friends on Asgard.”
In truth, Loki didn’t mind. As they sat in the park, eating the round Midgardian delicacy known as cheesy pizza from Pizza Hut, he felt himself relax to Zozo’s chatter, and hearing about the people she loves made him strangely happy. He never really had a whole group of people like that. Well, not until recently, when he had it for perhaps only one moment, before it, as well as the happiness it subsequently gave him, was ripped to shreds by cruel fate. In the time loop, Sif had informed him that he deserves to be alone, and he always will be. Maybe she was right.
And yet he wasn’t alone.
Next to him, sat on those stone cold stairs, was a girl who gave him kindness, and then shared her world with him when he had no world of his own. Though Loki had never been much of a compassionate person, he truly did care for the stories she told, and maybe in some deep place of his heart, he felt the smallest bits of affection and friendliness starting to bloom for her.
By the time the pizza box was empty and they started to head back to her grandfather’s apartment, it was already dark, and Zozo had begun shivering from the cold, which made Loki instinctively give her his jacket. He told himself that it was simply due to the fact that Frigga raised him right, and didn’t question it, even as he caught a glimpse of Zozo’s small blush when he handed her his hand to lean on as they walked. It was nothing. He won’t make the mistake of getting attached to someone after knowing them for such little time again.
And so, having nothing much to say, they walked in comfortable silence all the way until the actual apartment building.
“Surely, you must remember it wrong.” Loki suggested, trying to calm the nervous girl as she paced around the elevator.
“No, I’m positive.” Zozo answered, “I definitely left the lights turned on when we left. We’re not the ones paying that bill, and I need Charlie to feel comfy.”
Once the elevator door opened, she immediately bolted out and ran straight towards the wooden doors and pulled on the handle.
“Okay that’s weird, the door’s locked, so no way anyone broke in.”
“Of course no one broke in.” Loki commented, “You are just paranoid after your run in with Renslayer earlier.”
He watched her fumble with the key, and shook his head when she burst into the empty apartment, holding the key in her hands like some sort of weapon. It looked ridiculous, and yet Loki couldn’t help but smile at her efforts.
“There,” he tossed her a dagger as he was walking past her, “This will be much better against an imaginary intruder.”
Zozo glared at him, and took the dagger off the floor, where it landed after she refused to catch it. Despite that, when she wandered off closer to the master bedroom, she was much less wary, as if the weapon itself made up for her lack of skills in wielding it.
“Charlie boy!” She called out, trying to locate her dog or the sound of his paws against the wooden floor of the bedroom. Instead, a series of whimpers and scratching came from the nearby bathroom.
“Charlie!” Zozo yelled, rushing to free her dog. “See? Someone was here, we definitely didn’t lock him in the bathroom!”
“Maybe he locked himself?” Loki suggested, not very convinced by his own words either. Zozo didn’t even have to look at him, for him to know that she was rolling her eyes.
“Who’s my good boy?” She asked, after Charlie jumped on her, whimpering with glee and gratitude. “Who’s mama’s little puppy? Did someone lock you in here? Did someone lock puppy? Yes, someone came and locked puppy in the toilet.” The girl lowered herself and kneeled on the floor, and began placing kisses on the dog’s brown head, who very willingly accepted her affection. After a bit, though, she decided it was enough and stood up, and much to her surprise, Charlie did not try to follow her to the door. Instead, he hid under the sink, pressing his body to the wall, as if he was scared of whatever awaited outside.
“Loki!” Zozo called, worry in her voice, as she slowly backed out of the bathroom, “Loki, could you please check the apartment for intruders? Charlie doesn’t wanna go out, I think whoever locked him here might still be out-” She didn’t get to finish the sentence, as moment she turned around, she knew exactly why Charlie didn’t go out with her, and for a second, she also wished she had stayed in the small, tiled bathroom.
“-Here?” Loki finished her sentence for her. His eyes were wide, his arms plastered to his sides, not daring to move. Behind him, stood judge Ravonna Renslayer, holding the battered up, slightly bent weapon to Loki’s throat. “Darling, I think we’ve already found them.”
Zozo’s face turned pale. Immediately, her hand pressed against the tempad in the pocket of her jacket, as if to check if it was still there. Renslayer looked terrible. Quite frankly, Zozo felt a bit sorry for her, as she eyed the many bruises and dirty clothes, torn up and burnt in some places. Thor clearly didn’t spare her from the consequences of his wrath, and a lot of what she was seeing was also probably caused by being ran over by the car. Oops.
“Hello, Zofia.” The judge hissed, a cruel smile on her face, “Care to talk for a moment?”
“Let him go.” Zozo immediately ordered, trying desperately to sound confident despite her shaking knees. This was a truly and utterly terrible situation, and the glowing tip of Renslayer’s weapon being held so close to Loki’s neck, made it very hard for her to not fall into panic.
To keep the girl from losing her mind and ruining everything, Loki forced himself to shift slightly, and let out a forced chuckle.
“How was the meeting with my brother, Ravonna?” He asked, “Has the connection… sparked?”
“Shut it, variant.” Renslayer snapped, causing the god to flinch as the staff got dangerously closer to the skin of his face. Then, in a much more satisfied voice, she spoke to the girl, “Have a seat, Zofia. I wouldn’t want you to pass out for this.”
Without letting Loki out of her sight, Zozo pulled a chair from nearby and did as she was told. She clenched her fists as she stared Renslayer in her cold, uncaring eyes, and desperately hoped her efforts to hide her fear behind a wall of fake confidence won’t go to waste.
“Whatever you’re doing, don’t drag him into this.” She finally uttered, “He has nothing to do with the feud between us, so let him go.”
Renslayer smiled coldly, her eyes fixed on Zozo’s pocket and her hand, clenching the tempad inside.
“And let you escape? I think we both know why I can’t let you do that.” She took in the girl’s glare, and chuckled. “I was originally going to do this the easy way. Take the dog as hostage and make you return what’s mine, then get back to the TVA and forget about this whole ordeal. Cruelty isn’t in my nature, Zofia, I really was going to be merciful. But you crashed a car into me, and sent a thunder god to eliminate me, making my goal infinitely harder to achieve.” The illusion of miniscule happiness disappeared from her face, replaced by a cold, vicious glare. “I’ll make sure you remember this lesson next time you and your friends speak so frivolously about defying authority with your annoying personalities.”
Now, Zozo attempted to let out a dark chuckle, which didn’t work, and instead came out as a series of whimpers. Despite her failure at being nonchalant and cool, Loki gave her a half-hearted thumbs up.
“This has nothing to do with my friends, or my approach to authority, and you know it. I’m not playing your game, Ravonna, release Loki and then we’ll talk.”
If Loki were to be honest, he found the false confidence act quite adorable. The girl was very clearly not a great liar when it came to hiding her distress, but seeing her mask the fear in her eyes and the quivering chin with a harsh tone was entertaining in a way. If he would have been in Renslayer’s place, he would have dragged out this act and eventually struck a deal with her, just as she’d be on the verge of breaking. But that wasn’t what the judge wanted to do. No, this was personal, and Renslayer was merciless.
Her mouth twisted into a vicious smirk.
“Oh no, this has everything to do with your friends. Aren’t they why you’re in this situation in the first place? Not a great approach if I were to be honest.” She eyed the god, who suddenly became incredibly interested in the tips of his shoes. “Is he aware of why you even came to the possession of the tempad? Does he know that the little bit of mischief that you so clearly want to impress him with, isn’t that impressive or mischievous at all?”
Zozo looked to the side, her eyes nearly shining as the staff Renslayer held by Loki’s neck reflected in the freshly formed tears. Loki could barely look at it.
“Don’t cry, you’re doing very well.” He whispered, his breath getting quicker as the weapon got dangerously close to his face, “Her interrogation is lame at best. If she prunes me, she won’t have any bargain against you-”
“NO!” Zozo screamed, interrupting Loki’s comforting speech and blowing the cover of courage completely, “She’s not gonna prune you! I’m- I’m not gonna let her.” She turned to Renslayer, desperation in her teary eyes. “Release my friend and take me back to my timeline. Then I’ll give you the tempad.”
Friend.
This word, though it didn’t mean much from a Midgardian girl lost in time and space, filled Loki’s heart with a certain type of warmth. She was bargaining for him, entering a debate with a much more powerful person who she knew she won’t win against, for him. For her friend.
The judge’s laughter echoed through the room. A cold, hideous sound, compared to the warmth Zozo’s words filled Loki with.
“I’m afraid this isn’t an option. You got here because of your own bad choices, it serves you right to suffer the consequences. Now tell me, would you rather I prune your… what did you call that Loki variant? Your friend? And continue this pointless charade for another week, until I inevitably catch you, or will you give me the tempad willingly?”
To Loki’s absolute horror, Zozo hesitated, and after a couple of distressed breaths, she took the tempad out of her pocket with shaking hands.
“Zozo, listen to me,” the god pleaded, “if you give her the tempad, you’ll never see your home again. Your whole world, your family, your friends, you’ll never come back to them again.”
“It is inevitable, Zofia.” Renslayer hummed, “There is no version of this where you come out on top.”
The girl looked towards Loki, then turned her eyes to the judge, not bothering to hold in her sobs or the tears streaming down her cheeks.
“If I give you the tempad, will you let him go?” She sniffled.
“That depends on how cooperative you are.” The woman responded, her voice calm and collected. The girl simply nodded, unable to say anything, and with her entire body shaking in protest, she reached out her hand, and gave Renslayer her only way home.
“Now let him go.” She sobbed, desperately trying to keep some sort of composure.
But the judge wasn’t done yet.
“Oh, no.” She laughed, placing the staff right by Loki’s cheek, “This isn’t over. Your friend right here still seems to be in a bit of a haze. Why don’t you show him just how devoted you are to this little friendship of yours, in a way he understands best? I’m sure when you beg for his life on your knees, he’ll be way less baffled.”
“Why are you doing this!?” Zozo cried out, her voice cracking, “I gave you the tempad, why are you trying to humiliate me?”
“I’m simply teaching you a lesson.” Renslayer said plainly. “Now kneel.”
It was like a punch to the gut. Loki had never been an empathetic person, and yet seeing this sobbing, broken girl get on her knees in front of him and press her forehead to the floor, seemed to turn his stomach upside down. He would have been more inclined to believe that she’d rather claw Renslayer’s face off than let that woman humiliate her like this, in such an ostentatiously cruel way, and yet despite the anger and desperation in her eyes, she did as told.
The judge only smirked.
“Do you see now, that your anarchism and hatred towards authority are nothing more than fiction?” She whispered, in a way that almost seemed tender and motherly. “Once you gain the slightest bit of importance and those you so violently oppose threaten just one, useless new thing of yours, you lose all conviction. Do you see now, why no one with the slightest bit of self respect has ever stuck with you?”
“LET HIM GO!” the girl yelled in response, her scream filling up the entire room.
With a disapproving sigh, Renslayer pushed Loki away, almost causing him to fall on the floor, and hid the staff behind her back. She then walked closer to Zozo, who was still shaking and sobbing furiously on the ground.
“This is exactly why, Zofia. This,” she gestured to the god, “is why no one has ever loved you, and why no one truly will. Not in the way you want, at least. Do you think he would do the same for you? Do you think anyone, especially your so-called friends, would give away their only way home, just to save someone so fundamentally unimportant as you?” The judge paused for a moment to tap something into the tempad, then cleared her throat. “I’ve read your file. I know how your story ends. You’ll never be anything more than a little girl, desperately grabbing at the love that’s just out of her reach.” She admitted nonchalantly, using every word to pierce through the very soul of the girl before her. “Now, enjoy the consequences of taking what isn’t yours.”
And then, she was gone, but the phantom of her presence remained in Zozo’s broken cries.
With Renslayer gone, Charlie bolted out of the bathroom and started covering the girl’s face with soft licks, and yet despite his whimpers and best intentions, he could not stop the stream of tears flowing onto the wood below her like a waterfall. She was still on her knees, face shoved in her pup’s curly fur, when she heard Loki’s slow footsteps going in her direction, stopping just a few inches from where her knees began. Then, she felt his hand tap on her shoulder, and when she looked up, eyes heavy and swollen from crying, she saw him bent, hand outstretched as if to help her, an expression on his face that could almost be described as kind.
“Get up.” He said, and his eyes were met with a stare of desperation, “You kneel for no one.”
He gently took one of her hands in both of his, and pulled the girl upwards. Then, after getting a good look at her face, he guided her to the couch, where he sat her down and pulled her into a tight embrace, allowing her warm tears to stain his shirt.
“Zofia.” She hiccuped after a while, her face buried in Loki’s shoulder, “My real name is Zofia. I’m nineteen years old.”
The god nodded, and gave her a little squeeze, though perhaps not for her comfort, but his own.
“It’s a beautiful name.” He whispered. “It means wisdom, doesn’t it?”
He still couldn’t fully get over what he just witnessed. Never, in a hundred lifetimes, would he suspect that anyone would be capable of such sacrifice for the small price of his life. Not his family, not Sylvie, or even Mobius. And especially not a strange Midgardian girl, who he had only met the day before. The Norns truly made a fascinating choice, to tie their fate together.
“I live with my parents and my little sister.” The girl whimpered, causing another wave of sobs, “In two months, I’m leaving them and starting my second year of university abroad. It’s not an easy thing to do, but my parents raised me to be tough.”
“They did an exceptional job.” Loki murmured, nuzzling his face into her hair. It smelled like those foul candy necklaces, and yet somehow it also smelled like comfort. A new type of comfort. One based on loyalty.
“I’m so scared, Loki.” She confessed, “For my entire youth, family was all I had. I tried to make friends, I really did, but I just… I wasn’t… I wasn’t wanted. Everywhere I went, I’d end up alone and forgotten. I thought perhaps something was wrong with me, that maybe I was doing something wrong.” She muffled a sob by pressing her hand against her mouth. “Then finally, I met them. They want me. They make me laugh and cry and smile, and they make me feel like I finally belong, even when we haven’t met in real life.” Finally, she looked up, her swollen blue eyes meeting Loki’s. “When I grabbed that tempad off the floor that day, it was almost like an impulse. I didn’t know what it really did or how to use it, I just saw an opportunity and I took it, desperate to meet them and prove to myself that I don’t actually ruin every friendship I try to be in, and there are people who choose to love me, with all my quirks. Renslayer didn’t even notice. Then Agent Mobius came around to collect the tempad, and he saw the desperation in my eyes, and let me have that thing, because I have so little cosmic importance that using a tempad to visit my friends would not cause a nexus event. The rules he gave me were simple, using it for traveling through space and nothing more, and I followed them perfectly. Then three days ago I was coming home after visiting Rain with Charlie, and I ended up in a completely different timeline. And later in tens of others.” This time, she hid her face in Loki’s chest, as she let out another broken sob. “Renslayer was right. Every time I try to reach for love, I bring some sort of catastrophe on myself, even though my only goal is to not be so goddamn lonely all the time.”
For a moment, they sat there silently, with Loki rubbing small circles on her back with his fingers.
“Can I ask you why?” He finally spoke, “Why you chose to give up on your world, on them, for me?”
He felt her shrug against his body.
“Honestly? Because I couldn’t stand the thought of watching you die. You actually matter. You’re a god, you have the power to bring down worlds and affect everyone around you. Your cosmic importance is tremendous, and yet you were the one being used as leverage against me, someone so unimportant they could steal TVA devices undetected. You deserve to live much more than I deserve to come home. Because while you have the power to change and impact those around you, I’m a nobody. Just like Renslayer said.”
“She was wrong.” Loki whispered into her hair, then gently lifted up her chin, forcing her into eye contact.“You aren’t a nobody. You are a good friend, Zozo, and the right ones will know it. And you may not be important to the TVA, but you are important to your friends.” He paused, grabbed both of her hands, and watched Zozo’s eyes widen in disbelief, as he slid a cold, metallic object into her palms. “You are important to me.”
“Loki, I… is it real?” She uttered, her voice betraying her as she looked down at the object she was holding, with utter disbelief.
Because inside her soft hands was a tempad.