Infatuation
Harry Potter was growing rather tired of his own last name. It was everywhere, on every lips and in every eye, framed in minds and papers. Sure, he had killed Voldemort and somewhat saved the wizarding world without dying definitely in the process, but he hadn’t truly thought of the consequences, about the aftermath.
Thus, only one week after the end of the war, sprawled on his designated bed in the Burrow, Harry had an epiphany : firstly, he clearly never had the liberty to decide for himself since he had learnt about the existence of magic ; secondly, he was pretty exhausted of everyone's expectations of him, which he had tried for so long to fulfill. That led him to realize, in opposition, how many things Harry hadn’t let himself do, let alone think about. Finally, he was never going to be left in peace. Unfortunately, attention came with his name and his face wherever he went.
Although he had his own place, Harry spent his entire summer at the Burrow, bar a brief stay in Australia, where Hermione, Ron and himself tried to find his best friend’s parents. Eventually, they did find them, but nothing could be done about their condition. It was a heartbreaking trip back, the two crushed boys holding on vigorously onto the witch, who had finally let herself breakdown in tears, the cruel reality of her situation settling in.
As a matter of fact, every one of the Weasley stayed at the familial house, Mrs Weasley not able to bear being separated from her dear children. Fred was hospitalized, for he almost died squashed by a wall if it weren’t for Percy’s providential reflex, and then put at bedrest for an uncertain period of time, when he was finally released. His twin, George, barely left his side, and had to be magically sent to sleep to keep a human face. Charlie and Bill, excused from their respective jobs, relentlessly helped Hogwarts reconstruction. Percy and Mr Weasley had both a lot of work to do at the Ministry.
That left the two younger Weasley, plus Harry and Hermione, staying at the Burrow permanently, mostly sleeping, eating and trying to recover a sense of normalcy. Besides, they all had the time to have a serious talk on what they truly wanted, which ended up with the decision of returning to Hogwarts, both Harry and Ginny coming out respectively as bisexual and lesbian, Ron and Hermione staying friends and nothing more. They didn’t know what the future reserved for them, yet they were alive, together and on the path of recovery. That was all that mattered.
So, the Golden Trio came back to their fateful home, peacefulness blooming in their chests and wide smiles on their faces. Harry was ready to rest and take pleasure in the commonality of a student's daily life. He wanted to study and live in the castle with as much normality he could muster. Yes, he was prepared for the heavy glances, the loud whispering turned into full-on exclamations, the awkward but sweet talks. As he couldn’t fight or forget it, he, or any of the war heroes for that matter, had accepted this status. At least, in Hogwarts, the celebrity was reduced to the other students.
On the contrary, what Harry hadn’t expected, on his very first day back, was to be seated in a direct visual lining with the most beautiful guy he had ever seen.
Originally, he was just appreciating an easy discussion with his friends at the Gryffindor table, familiar excitation and hunger bubbling in his stomach. On one hand, Ron and Hermione, as always, were bickering on some unimportant subject, more for the pleasure than the sake of it. On the other one, Ginny was nearly assaulting Neville with her questions on his summer with Luna, as she had developed a big crush on the dreamy girl. Suddenly, a loud silence took over the Great Hall, startling Harry from his wondering state. Curious, he followed the stares and turned his head in the same direction, the latter being the huge doors that had just been opened.
That’s when he saw him. Well them, because they were two distinct figures in green uniforms, standing by the doors. From the white hair, Harry logically deduced that Malfoy had arrived, which in itself was quite unanticipated. But what really bewildered him was the smaller silhouette next to him, who completely ignored the fact that everybody was watching them, and then casually walked to the Slytherin table, his stride graceful and fluid.
“I didn’t know Malfoy decided to come back.” Ron commented, a pensive expression wrinkling his freckled face. “It’s quite brave, as foreign as it sounds.”
“Stupid, I would say.” Hermione stated, arms crossed and eyebrows raised. “Well, it’s his choice after all. He risks being attacked at any time, whether it’s here or outside. I heard his pardon did nothing for his reputation, and the Malfoy Manor has been covered with hexed letters all summer. Harry, are you feeling alright? You’re quite flushed.”
Taken aback, the green-eyed boy shook his head, trying his best to regain some kind of composure. His heart had never beaten so hastily, like it ached to escape recklessly from his own chest. Harry could feel his cheeks burning, his breath vanishing and his mind the foggiest it had ever been. What the hell had just happened to him?
“Harry?” Hermione’s concerned voice pierced through the layers of his utter confusion. “Harry, are you having another panic attack?”
“Hey, breathe mate.” Ron’s low and mild voice whispered in his ear, a soothing hand immediately rubbing his back in round patterns.
Well, Harry didn’t fully comprehend what just occurred, but the undivided care displayed by his best friends warmed his heart. He slowly inhaled through his nose, shutting his eyes and concentrating on the gentle touch. So, he saw a gorgeous guy. No reason to panic, right? Maybe the view only of these ebony locks and unsettling blue eyes made him feel a few things. But that was perfectly normal,wasn’t it? Totally, wholly, absolutely normal!
“I’m okay, I’m okay.” Harry reassured them, opening his eyes, while his body had finally returned to a more normal state.
“Good. Here, have some water.” Hermione instructed him, a bit more appeased. Thankfully, nobody had really noticed his crisis, apart from his friends, too busy gaping and whispering at Malfoy's appearance. Never thought he would feel gratefulness toward the Slytherin one day. The world had actually changed.
Obviously, Harry wasn’t going to tell the truth to Hermione and especially not to Ron, he wasn’t suicidal anymore, thank you very much. Nop, he would just calm down, bury whatever that was for later, and focus his gaze on that charming glass in his hand. Except his eyes seemed to have a will of their own, because they slowly but surely diverted towards the Slytherin table. Treacherous body!
The Gryffindor tried carefully to catch a glimpse of that stupidly stunning face again. Once he found him, Harry couldn’t stop himself from exhaling a shaky breath. He truly was beautiful, his features flawless, as if they had been sculpted beforehand. The Slytherin seemed to be lost in his own thoughts, scanning the Great Hall with his undecipherable eyes. There was a sense of poignant fragility in him, hidden behind layers of hardened expressions. But Harry could see right through them. It took one broken child to catch another one.
Harry tried to avert his gaze, returning to his friend’s conversation. Yet, a part of himself was consciously aware of that boy, nagging at the back of his mind. He needed to know his identity or he would never sleep tonight.
“Neville, do you know who the person sat next to Malfoy is?” He asked, ultimately caving in his curiosity.
“Well, let me see. Oh, yes, it’s Theo! His name is Theodore Nott, he’s in our year.” Neville answered, a broad smile on his face.
“Nott? Isn’t it-” Harry didn’t have to finish his sentence for his classmate to grasp the idea.
“The son of a Death Eater? Yes, he is.” Ginny confirmed, joining their discussion. “But he’s the complete opposite. Even testified against him last July, if memories serve right.”
“Yes, he did.” Neville said with a strangely proud expression. “He helped us last year, you know. They wanted him on their side, of course given his father, but mostly because he’s brilliant at Charms and Runes. He never gave in, which greatly infuriated the Carrows. Sometimes, Theo would redirect their warth solely on himself, purposefully, to protect the younger students from corporal and vicious punishments.”
“Yeah, he went from silent and asocial to insolent and defiant. It was bloody courageous! A great guy, we should invite him to eat with us sometime, Nev. And you should meet him too, Harry!”
“Who are you talking about?” Hermione inquired, the bickering with Ron seemingly finished for now.
“Theodore Nott.”
“Oh, I know him! We were in the same class in Runes. He’s very talented and smart, although a tad withdrawn from Hogwarts social scene. We had a few interesting discussions together. I hope we’ll have the opportunity to do that again!”
The discussion carried on and the subject changed to Ron table manners, which evidently hadn’t improved since his first year. Nonetheless, Harry couldn’t follow attentively, his mind fixated on the boy across from him. Theodore Nott. He turned back, to glance yet again. On top of being dazzlingly beautiful, he seemed intelligent, fair and with enough boldness to retort and act against terrible people. Plus, Harry didn’t remember him being in Malfoy's old clique or bullying anyone whatsoever, which was definitely a bonus point for a Slytherin.
Suddenly, the mop of dark curly hair, on which he was intently focused, turned around in one swift movement. Emeraude encountered sapphire blue. A surprised look took over Theo’s gorgeous face. In return, a wide grin stretched Harry’s mouth.
Oh, this was going to be really interesting indeed!
Theo was fucked. That was what immediately crossed his mind when McGonagall led all the eighth years - 12 students in total - to one portrait of a bizarrely shaped pear. Well, to be honest, every pear Theo ever saw was weirdly shaped. Why was he even thinking about pears? The portrait, right. So, the Headmistress told them that they were going to share lodgings, which didn’t surprise him.
No, what extremely bothered him was the fact that he had to share a room with Draco and the three other Gryffindors. Draco was fine, Theo had survived seven years living with him without incidents, but three strangers? Nop, bad idea. He wasn’t a total asocial (Blaise begged to differ), he didn’t hate all people (just most of them). Theo simply had a problem with shared places. He liked being alone, silence and order. The total opposite of Gryffindor.
What did he do to deserve this? He wanted a quiet year for goodness sake, and now he was shoved in the same room as the greatest heroes of the previous Wizarding War! Clearly, someone had it against him. Maybe, he shouldn’t have cursed his father a second time, just before he went to Azkaban…
Apart from the room, they shared bathrooms with the other boy’s dorm, occupied by three Ravenclaws and one Hufflepuff. The girls only had one chamber, just above them, being a grand total of three. And then, they had a cozy and well-arranged common room, with crackling fireplaces, welcoming couches splattered all over and study desks. The sharing problem put aside, Theo really liked the new quarters. They seemed a lot more hospitable then the Slytherin ones. The coldness wasn’t going to be missed, that’s for sure.
“You’re going to be alright?” Draco asked. They were still in the common room, by the windows, whereas everybody else had already gone in discovery of their freshly appointed rooms. The view was quite superb here, displaying the mysterious nature of the Forbidden Forest in a new light.
“Yeah, it’s going to be fine. Don’t really have any other choice.” Theo sighed, a small smile on his face. “I’m surprised you even remember.”
“You’re kidding right?” The white-haired boy exclaimed, teasing eyes. “If I recall correctly, you spent almost five months fleeing before even greeting us in the first year. And don’t get me started on the talking stage!”
“Hmm okay, maybe I was a bit reclusive at first…”
“Completely hostile, you mean!”
“But I did get better, no?”
Draco chuckled, shaking his head in disapproving manner. It was reassuring to see him with such glee and color. It was like finding him again, yet in a whole new way.
“Yeah, if you say so Theo. Whatever helps you sleep at night.”
“Hey, now!”
“Hum hum.”
The sound of a throat clearing interrupted their banter, causing the two boys to turn simultaneously toward the source of it. Their three roommates were looking at them, each with a different look : Neville was simply smiling with his usual affable demeanor ; you couldn’t have guessed how much bravery and force were hidden underneath this light mask. Ron Weasley had one eyebrow raised, his frank and freckled face perpetually freezed in an amused state. And finally Harry Potter, the one and only, looking once again directly at him, with a broad smile and shining eyes.
Was he sick? I mean, what else could explain this bizarre behavior. Theo would have expected him to focus his interest on Draco, with their complicated history and all. Not him. They had never exchanged one word before, neither did they evolve in the same circles. It was very odd and Theo hoped he would snap out of whatever disposition that pushed him to do so.
“Sorry to barge in, but we thought it would be better to wait for you two, before we all choose our beds. Would you come in, if it’s alright?” Potter asked, his posture and face entirely amenable.
Well, Theo hadn’t expected such a deep voice from him. It clashed with his boyish image, making him more of a man. Which could be understandable, seeing the discrepancy between his age and all the things he went through.
Theo could feel Draco next to him relaxed a little bit. He assumed that these two hadn't talked since Malfoy's trial, and the boy hadn’t known what to expect from his former enemy. However, the Gryffindors seemed friendly enough, not that Theo cared. Maybe it wouldn’t be too much of a chore to share a room with them after all.
So, he briefly nodded, still impassive. Without looking, he skirted around the trio and went straight to their dorm, knowing Draco would follow him. They entered wordlessly.
Harry sighed. He really hoped the Slytherins would relax in their presence in the future. After all, they did have to sleep in the same place for the whole year. A stiff and rigid atmosphere wouldn’t do. He wasn’t highly surprised that the two antagonistic Houses would have to share their lodgings. It was a decision from McGonagall that he respected and supported. They all needed to get past this shitty tension and petty competition between them. They hadn’t fought a fucking war for nothing!
“Don’t worry, mate. They’ll come around eventually.” Ron mused, patting his friend’s shoulder.
“I know, I know. It’s just…” He stopped, incapable to continue without betraying his precedent decision. Harry undoubtedly wished for harmony between students, but a part of him was treacherously centered on Theo’s face, replaying the few instants they crossed eyes. He just wanted the boy to smile at him like he saw him doing with Malfoy. God, stupid mind, stupid heart!
“You know, you look like a kicked puppy right now?” Ron’s mocking voice brought him back to reality.
“Wait, what? What are you talking about?” He asked innocently, his heartbeat raising.
“Oh come on Harry! I’m your best friend, and I’d be a shitty one if I hadn't noticed the dumbfounded looks you shot to their table during the banquet.”
“I-I don’t know what you’re talking about!” Harry yelped, cheeks burning once again, and sending him a murderous look.
“You have a crush! Harry Potter has a crush!” Ron sing-songed teasingly.
They raced through the room, Ron running for his sake and still singing loudly, Harry just behind him, ready to kill him with his bare hands. Their childish pursuit came suddenly to an end when they came across Hermione, leaving the stairs leading to her dorm. She stopped and scrutinized the two figures completely still with an exasperated frown.
“Do I want to know?” That seemed to turn them back on a more alive state, with Ron shouting and Harry thundering.
“Mione, save me please!” The redhead appealed, trying unsuccessfully to hide behind the petite woman.
“I’m going to murder you Ronald!” Harry kept threatening, his hands trying to reach the boy, while being pushed back by a (fondly) annoyed Hermione.
“STOP! Boys, be silent!” The scream worked, for the two idiots instantly stood still, exchanging worried stares.
“Good, now I’m going to go calmly to the Library and if I hear another shout, you two will regret having survived the War. Is that clear?”
A yes resonated almost immediately, the two solemnly nodding sheepishly.
“Mione, you do know we’ve been here for what, like four hours?” Ron questioned, as Harry signaled him to shut up.
“And?” Hermione answered, turning to him with the most menacing glare, her tone darkening.
“Nop, no reason at all. Have a good time at the Library !” Harry said, pushing her to the exit forcefully, while sending a warning look to his best friend.
Once the witch was securely out of the common room, the two Gryffindors sat down on the comfortable couches with a relieved exhalation. They stayed silent for a few moments, gazing at the fireplace, until Ron speak out in low voice:
“You do know I support you, right? I don’t care if it’s a guy. Well, I’m glad it’s not Malfoy at least. Anyway, I wasn’t truly mocking you, just taking the piss in that lovesick expression. I think it’s pretty sweet actually. It’s the first time I see it on your face.”
“I know Ron,” Harry reassured him with an easy smile. “It’s just… Well, I did have a bloody panic attack because I thought he was too damn handsome, so…”
The redhead choked on his own breath, a bark of laughter coming out just after.
“Merlin, you really are infatuated with the bloke!”
Harry thought about the deep unsettling blue eyes and his body shuddered.
“Yeah, I really am.” He said, closing his eyes, a content grin lighting up his whole face.
It was odd, but in a good way, to have a crush on someone. Maybe it was the kind of normalcy he needed. In any case, it was surely going to make the year even more exciting!