First Introduction
The school year began without any fuss. Everything seemed to be just like before, except for the simple fact that there was a before. The castle didn’t feel exactly the same for the students who fought on its grounds. It was like each step brought them certainty and a sort of wisdom, too ancient for these shoulders to burden. Now, they appreciated the moments of calmness, the joyous loudness of the ghosts or the confusing oddness of the stairs. It was Hogwarts in all its splendor, its quirks and habits. Something you had to get used to, but, once done, you couldn’t get enough of.
Theo considered it his home. He never really had one before, not since the death of his mother. When she died before his innocent eyes, the sickness taking her away while he was only six, the world seemed to suddenly change at the Nott Manor. It was his first memory : her blank stare, her pale face and the raspy gasp calling his name like a prayer. Theo knew he had been happy before that fateful event, in a childish, blissful ignorance. But he couldn’t remember any of it, only the years of terror that followed, where his father became a stranger he was more afraid of than the real ones.
When he arrived at Hogwarts, it was like a deliverance. Finally, he could escape the horrible clutch and savor the sensation of security. It had taken time for the young child to accept the fact that he also deserved the right to happiness. Blaise helped a lot, spending hours reassuring him after countless panic attacks, holding him after too many nightmares. He always respected Theo's boundaries, always listened and gave him time. And most importantly, Blaise had shown him what love meant, proved him and his father wrong, that he mattered, he had a worth, that he was just a young innocent child.
The undoing of the worst parts of his brain had saved Theo from a terrible fate. If he hadn’t met Blaise, he would have become the cruel and manipulable soldier his father expected. Instead, the boy accumulated all the knowledge he could, internalized every punch and insult, to a point where he finally responded, gave back everything he had suffered. And each year, Hogwarts was here, like a refuge, a safe haven where Theo was allowed to be alive.
This feeling hadn’t disappeared, observed the young man, as he walked peacefully along the corridors, greeting the few portraits awake at this hour. Theo was a tad insomniac (a euphemism, really), so, sometimes, when the stillness of the night became too much, he would just get out, breathe the fresh air and let his spiraling thoughts get the better of him. That habit hadn’t disappeared either, even after everything.
Living with the others wasn’t as bad as he had expected. A good surprise, he decided. Three weeks had already passed and daily life had returned for the grateful student. Classes were good, although a little repetitive, and his classmates (also roommates for some) were nice. It was amusing to be with people younger than him.
On the other hand, Draco had sadly encountered belligerent difficulties. Not with the classes, given his intelligence, but the people around him. Theo supposed it had to be anticipated, considering his reputation. Nonetheless, it was disheartening to witness him withdrawing into himself. He barely talked anymore, except for Theo himself.
Sighing mournfully, the ebony-haired boy decided to go back to his dorm. Morning had already risen and he couldn’t wander around eternally. With a faster pace, he made the journey back. A great advantage that came with the eighth year was the loss of certain rules, including the curfew. Not that he previously respected it anyway.
Theo arrived in front of the decidedly weird portrait that was their entrance and murmured the password. He passed through and was welcomed by the familiar sight of Hermione, dutifully sat on one maroon sofa, a book in hand. The sound of him entering made her raise her head.
“Good morning, Theo,” She gently said, a soft smile illuminating her frowning face. “Have you slept at all?”
It was quite sweet to see her concerns directed entirely at him. He wasn’t used to that motherly worry, being an orphan and all. It was becoming a daily question, each morning as they met in the common room at the earliest hours.
“A little.” Theo replied, his voice raspy, for he hadn’t talked at loud since he had awakened.
Hermione shook her bushy head with her disapproving scowl, but let the subject go. He knew that, one day, he was going to be sat down and they were going to have a long discussion. Maybe that was what having friends meant. Yes, Theo considered Hermione as a friend. Like Draco, she had exceeded the status of pleasant acquaintance. They liked to study together in the late afternoons, brilliant and assiduous minds conversing with each other.
While the witch immersed herself in her book once again, Theo headed towards his dorm. He needed to change into his uniform and certainly wash his sleepless face. At this point, the shadows under his eyes had become a true feature. What a pleasant thought.
Snorting to himself, he entered the sacred place, only to be greeted by a vigorous collision. The ground he expected to crash onto never came, as a strong grip at his waist was holding him back. Reopening carefully the eyes he had closed in anticipation, Theo discovered the abashed and flushed face of Harry Potter, his gaze checking frantically the smaller boy’s body for any injury. Well, that was also unexpected.
“Merlin, I’m so sorry! I wasn’t fully awake and not really conscious of where I was going. Are you okay? Did I hurt you in any way?” The raven-haired boy immediately rambled, clearly embarrassed.
If it weren’t for the genuine distraught in his voice, Theo would have sarcastically responded with a “Not hurt but if you continue to squeeze me like that, I will be”. Except he didn’t. He simply shook his head as a negative answer, and wriggled a little to signify his discomfort. Which his roommate took instant notice of and, in reaction, released his hold hastily, taking a large step back.
Potter was now rubbing his neck awkwardly and avoiding his eyes, murmuring another set of excuses. Another phenomenon to add to his list of strange behaviors attributed to this specific Gryffindor. Mysterious, huh. With another nod, not wanting the guy to melt in a pool of distress, Theo continued his journey to their bathroom, completely unaware of Harry’s frustrated expression.
To be honest, Harry had tried to tentatively approach his roommate, without any success yet. Theo hadn’t said a word to him, always resorting to body language to communicate. It was as unnerving as it was endearing. He didn’t seem to have any problem with Malfoy or Hermione, which made the situation even more frustrating. He just wanted to talk, really, and now he had just humiliated himself in front of the guy he was infatuated with. Great.
Grumbling to himself in a rather self-deprecating way, Harry directed himself towards his own bed. A small chuckle made him halt and turn around. The polished face of one Draco Malfoy met him. However, no snickering disdain could be spotted, just an amused grin. Which was in itself quite unfamiliar. It made him look almost normal, if it weren’t for the perpetual sadness that seems to inhabit his eyes these days. Harry, because he clearly had nothing to lose, raised one eyebrow, inquiring.
“You shouldn’t take it too personally, you know. Theo’s indifference is a well-known legend among the Slytherins. It took him almost the whole first year to address us, the rest of his dorm.” Malfoy stated quietly, sitting down on his own bed, not very far from Harry’s.
Something in his demeanor must have informed him of Harry's disappointment, because Malfoy chuckled again, with a little more vivacity than before. He resumed :
“He’s a bit of a lone wolf. You have to get past his initial wariness first, then you discover an incredible guy and a loyal friend.”
“And how do you do that?” Harry asked, because why not. It’s not like he was very successful alone and Malfoy was actually friends with Theo. A bit of help seemed necessary, wherever it came from.
“Firstly, do not address him as Theodore. He passionately hates his full name, not that I blame him, given his father. As for the point of contact, you should follow your friend’s example. Theo’s one weakness is his thirst for knowledge. He really should have been a Ravenclaw, for that matter.”
Harry’s eyes widened. He hadn’t expected good advice. He stayed silent for a moment, pondering on the situation, his mind already forming a plan. With a cunning smile, he thanked Malfoy, who was decidedly more and more surprising.
“It’s nothing Potter, I just want my friend happy, unironically” Was his only response, as the blond boy searched for something in his nightstand.
“You really should call me Harry, you know. I mean, if we’re going to share a room for the entire year, it’s only fair to be on a first name basis. So, please, call me Harry.”
That, Malfoy didn’t seem to have seen it coming, because he stumbled at Harry’s words and struck his head against the piece of furniture, swearing in pain. Getting back on his feet properly, with as much dignity he could summon, Malfoy inspected him, quizzical.
“Why?” He whispered, afraid of the loudness of the word. If Harry hadn’t anticipated the question, he wouldn’t have heard it.
“Because, as cliche as it sounds, we cannot change the past, but we are responsible for making the future. I want to enjoy this year, without petty fights and insults, if that’s possible. And it seems that you too wish for a change. So that begins with our names.”
Malfoy took a harsh intake of air, his fingers shaking. Yet, he looked straight in Harry’s eyes, resolution and firmness flashing in his own.
“Yes, you’re right. Thank you for that Harry. You must call me Draco in return.”
“Will do, Draco,” Harry grinned, a sense of pride filling him, without any reasons. “So, how do you find this eighth year so far?”
“Pleasant.” Draco replied, after a beat of silence. It was clearly a lie and not a good one.
“You do know that if anyone’s bothering you, you can come to McGonagall or me. You’ve been graced and recognised as an essential help during the war. People should not trouble you and deal with their own problems instead.”
It infuriated Harry to watch people treat the pardoned in such an ungraceful way. It was infantile and unproductive, keeping the vicious circle of hatred running, rather than instauring new precedents. Of course, he understood the sorrow of grief and suffering. He could also comprehend why they directed the blame on people like Draco, who escaped Azkaban because of remediating circumstances. His pardon didn’t erase the role he had in the war. Nevertheless, it showed that justice wasn’t a manichean system, that people weren’t exclusively evil. Sometimes, the contingency of your life forced you to make decisions you couldn’t ultimately avoid, whether they were good or bad. Harry should know, since he never chose his own destiny.
“Thanks. But I think, in some ways, I deserve it. It serves as a good reminder of my faults, something I will never escape nor forget.” Draco said, contemplative and lost in his own guilt. “Anyway, Harry?”
“Hmm?”
“Don’t hurt him, please. He suffered enough in the past as it is, he shouldn’t have to experience any of it again.” He warned him, his tone cold and his gaze gaining back the sharp tenacity of his former self.
Harry acquiesced silently and Draco got up, exiting their lodgings with that mask of impassibility, tainted by sadness. The raven-haired boy hummed to himself, alone in the room. He had a lot to think about now. And a plan to plot. Well if he wasn’t murdered first by Hermione because of his tardiness.
They had Charms and Herbology in the morning, two classes Harry had been happy to return to. It was a bit funny to have the same classes as Ginny’s year and still awkward with all the gaping, but he was enjoying himself nonetheless. He had been impatient to go back on the Quidditch pitch, the yearning of flying itching his limbs.
Harry had been truly astonished, when McGonagall had announced to him he would continue to be the Captain of the Gryffindors' team. He would have thought the title would be handed down to Ginny. She clearly deserved it. But apparently, the redhead had insisted on giving him back the position, claiming that Harry would always be their true leader, as long as he was at Hogwarts. No pressure.
As he was ruminating, Hermione was guiding Ron and himself to the Great Hall, commentating out loud on their previous class. They quickly found their way to their table, the usual spot free as always. While the witch ranted on the wonders of Aconite, Ron didn’t lose any time in filling up his plate enthusiastically, his stomach rumbling. Harry was still deep in thoughts when his friend nudged him.
“Here, try this new sauce! It’s a fucking miracle, mate!” Ron praised, handing him a small dish.
“Language!”
“Sorry! But you should try it too, Mione. I swear I have never tasted something like that!”
Harry took a small portion of it, as instructed, and tasted for himself. Well, if there was something Ron would always get right, it was undoubtedly food. Trust him to compose the best combinations. Maybe he should consider it professionally.
“Very good indeed.” Hermione approved, as Harry nodded in agreement.
The boy pondered an instant, then decided internally that it was the best moment to ask. And if he didn’t do it now, he would never, Gryffindor’s bravery be damned!
“Hum, Mione, you do have a study date at the Library with Theo Nott this evening, right?" He inquired, his own voice sounding far too hesitating for his ears.
The witch frowned at him, puzzled by the question. “Yes, like every other evening, Harry. Ron, would you please close your mouth when you’re eating! It’s disgusting. Anyway, why do you ask?”
“Well, I was wondering if I could join you? If I remember correctly, you’re studying Transfiguration tonight and I just want to refresh my brain a little.” Very smooth Harry, not at all unbelievable…
At his left, a shit-eating grin was slowly spreading on Ron’s face. Grin that Harry would categorically not confront, thank you very much. He still had a bit of self-esteem. As for Hermione, she was examining him like he was suddenly running a dangerous fever. Bloody hell, was that really so out of character for him?
“Harry, are you feeling alright? You just asked me if you could study. To study in the first month of the year.” She enunciated, like he was still dazed by sleepiness.
“Don’t worry Mione, he just wants a date!” His traitor of a friend declared slyly, his stupid grin still on his face.
“Ron, shut up!”
“A date?”
“Yes, he likes…”
“I swear to god, Ron, if you carry on, I will cast a mean Sectumsempra on your ass!”
“You wouldn’t dare! My ass is too precious!”
“Oh, test me one more time and you’ll see how much I care about your ass!”
“Boys!”
Like always, that seemed to calm down the two idiots instantly. They apologized docilely and noticed they had gathered the attention of pretty much everyone. Harry turned his head towards the Slytherin table and his heart leaped. Theo was looking at them, at him, perplexed. Shit!
“So… Harry? You want to join Theo and myself because…” Hermione contemplated aloud, more for her own brain, than for the rest. “ Because you have a crush on Theo!”
Fortunately, everyone had already returned to their plates or their discussions. If it hadn’t been the case, Harry would have definitely flinged himself from the Astronomy Tower. His cheeks blushing, he nodded precipitately, provoking Hermione’s cheer and Ron’s teasing but proud smile.
“Yeah, Mione, he’s utterly and desperately infatuated with the guy. You should hear his ramblings on the color of his eyes. It’s painfully adorable.” Ron said, mimicking a nauseated expression.
“Ron! Please, stop embarrassing me!”
“Never mate.”
“Oh, Harry, it’s great! I’m glad it’s Theo.” Hermione affirmed tenderly. “Well, he could do better..” She added with a smirk, as the redhead roared with laughter.
“Mione!” Harry protested, offended.
“Only teasing, of course. You’re both wonderful people, don’t doubt it. But jokes aside, it’s good Harry.” She said, staring at him intently, the last sentence attesting of a deeper meaning only them could understand.
“Yeah? Yeah, it’s good.” The brunet repeated, exhaling a breath he hadn’t known he was holding back, while Ron was patting reassuringly on his shoulder. “So, for tonight?”
They all snorted together, the vulnerability of the moment vanishing.
“Well, I’d have to ask Theo beforehand, of course. It’s the only polite thing to do. And if you want to impress him, you’re not going to show up just like that.”
Harry nodded immediately. God, he especially didn’t want to appear rude or pretentious! This crush thing was actually pretty hard, he didn’t know how people could do it every single day.
“Don’t worry Harry, we’re going to give you a proper first introduction.” Hermione told him confidently, easing his fears and doubts.
With that, they resumed eating and chattering joyously like always.
Theo had always loved studying Runes. It was the subject of the first book he ever picked up from his family library. Something about ancient languages and intricate alphabets had always fascinated him. It was like a riddle, an enigma to perpetually resolve, or even a code secret to decipher. His endless curiosity was fully satisfied, each time he left the Runes class.
This time wasn’t the exception, as the Slytherin casually strolled along the hallways, nose buried in his book. There was an air of such ardent concentration to him, that the other students didn’t dare to disturb the guy. They surely didn’t want to be hexed for a bump!
However, a prudent but determined hand stopped his leisurely walk, making him almost trip on his own feet. While he wasn’t quick to anger and quite detested the emotion, Theo also abhorred being interrupted during a reading. People who did so were savages! Therefore, as he raised his chin up, blazing eyes already loaded, he couldn’t stop the growl out of himself.
Hermione, the barbaric fool, stepped back, evidently startled by his reaction. She hadn’t expected a response so… feral .
Theo cleared his throat, a little embarrassed. “What can I do for you Hermione?”
“Sorry to disturb, Theo,” She apologized, amused.”I wanted to ask you something for tonight.”
“Of course, sorry about… that - a bashful smile growing on his lips - what’s the matter?”
“Well, a friend of mine asked me if he could join us? So I wanted to check in with you, to make sure if it was alright.”
“It’s very thoughtful of you, Hermione. Thanks and yeah, by all means, you should bring him. As a matter of fact, I was also thinking of inviting someone tonight.”
Indeed, Theo had reflected on dragging Draco along to their study evening. He had talked about his friend's closed off attitude with Blaise, by letters, and the former Slytherin had advised him of a “change of scenery”. Maybe Hogwarts Library, even if it wasn’t a novelty, could do the job.
“Superb! You’re amazing Theo!” The witch blurted out, with a quick peck to his cheek. It was so light and rapid, the young man thought he imagined it. He was quite flabbergasted when Hermione just sauntered away.
Theo didn’t know how much time he spent freezed in this state, until Draco found him and shook his arm relentlessly, to bring him back to consciousness. When the blond boy asked what had happened, Theo’s only answer was “Gryffindors really are fucking deranged”.
The evening fell quickly, light diminishing quietly in the iridescent sky. Theo almost had to pull Draco by the ears, threatening him with the possibility of silent treatment, in order for the blond to come. Studying in the Library wasn’t the end of the world, was it? Why was he always stuck with dramatic and pig-headed friends?
They arrived a bit late (wonder because of who?) and the brunet stopped his friend just before entering.
“Draco, Hermione is a good friend and an even greater person, so please try to coexist without visually murdering each other, if only for one night.”
“Hmm” Was his only answer. Not a lot, but that was a start. At least he had acknowledged his words.
Sighing yet again, a habit these days, Theo pushed the Library’s wooden doors. Solemn silence and deserted peace, everything he loved. He politely greeted Madam Pince and headed towards their favorite spot. It was located near the Restricted Section, behind one huge bookcase, largely hidden from unaverted stares. Nobody really hung out here, most likely because they feared the Librarian’s scolding. Luckily, she always had a soft spot for the tight-lipped young Slytherin.
“Theo!”
The high-pitched sound grabbed his attention. Hermione was waving at him from their usual table, accompanied by… Potter? Huh? Why was he here? Oh Merlin, no, Draco! He shot a worried glance at his friend right away. Bringing him to the Library for a study date with his former enemy wasn’t the plan ! But, to his utmost surprise, the former didn’t seem bothered nor tense. What was going on? Did Theo miss something?
Draco moved forward, letting the poor Theo bewildered and alone. He shot a small smile at Harry and nodded in the direction of Hermione, taking the seat next to her. What in the actual fuck? Apparently, Theo had missed an entire Quidditch competition at this point. Gosh, he needed sleep, and maybe to move, instead of standing like a fucking idiot with his mouth wide-opened.
He shook his head and promptly joined them, muttering incomprehensible greetings. Thanks to his dear blond friend, he was forced to sit down next to Potter, who grinned broadly at him. Why was he always smiling? Maybe it was a condition, no one could be this happy all the time. He let the other three students lead the conversation, arranging his own stuff on the table. Then, Theo decided to dive head first into his book, rather than chipping in.
Everything seemed to go smoothly : Hermione was writing furiously on her roll of parchment ; Draco was drawing something, a diligent frown painted on his face ; Harry was intently studying the last Transfiguration lesson. As for Theo, he was fine, trying to finish his Runes book. Except, no. No, he wasn’t fine, because the boy next to him couldn’t stop fidgeting, which was extremely annoying. The noise and movements were distracting him.
Exasperated, Theo decided to give up completely. He glanced at his neighbor, curious as to find out why the boy couldn’t stop shifting positions.
Harry Potter was stretched out on his chair, perfectly at his ease. He was the exact picture of self-confidence, with his red tie undone and rolled up sleeves. The complete mess that seemed to be his appearance should have been distasteful. Unfortunately, it worked on him, completing the disheveled dark hair and crooked smile. One hand was fiddling with his quill and the other thrumming on his lap, while he stared intensely at the paper in front of him.
“Hey,” Theo nudged him discreetly, his voice barely above a murmur. Potter turned his head, looking at him inquisitively. The guy really had piercing green eyes.
“Could you maybe move a little less, please? It’s very distracting.” He asked, firm but reddening.
His neighbor hummed, but kept staring at him, like he was accessing him. Theo crossed his arms defensively, one eyebrow raised. He was going to ask what was the matter, when suddenly all hell broke loose.
Outraged whispers resonated, as loud as real shouts. Startled, Harry and Theo raised their heads at the same time. In front of them, Draco and Hermione were arguing, if gesticulating ferociously and hissing in hushed but harsh tones could be called that. The witch had one finger stabbing the other’s chest, as she hit him with undoubtedly lengthy arguments. Draco appeared to be incensed, his eyes glaring daggers at her and his mouth already counter-attacking. It was an unbelievable sight.
“Huh, should we pull them apart? Don’t really want to be an accessory to murder.” Harry mused, nonetheless very entertained by the spectacle.
Theo stifled a snort. “No, let them be. I’m surprised how well they behaved until now.” It was good to see Draco so alive. His plan had worked in the end.
“They’re going to rip each other out.” Harry commented, leaning back against his chair.
“Either that or they’re going to fuck each other before the end of the year. I’m betting on the latter.” Theo grumbled, rubbing his eyes.
His neighbor bursted out laughing, shaking his unruly hair with great despair.
“I’ll take the bet just for argument’s sake.” He managed to answer, half-choking on his own cackle. “You’re pretty funny, Nott. We could use more of your wit, back at the dorm.”
Harry was looking at Theo thoughtfully, his head tilted towards him. He had a conspiratorial grin spread on his lips, yet the Slytherin could perceive the earnest meaning behind the words.
“I’m sure you’ve noticed, Potter, that I’m pretty shitty at handling social interactions. So, if there’s a way to avoid dealing with that, I will always take it.”
“You shouldn’t say always. It’s bad luck.” Harry retorted, his chin now in his hand, fully ignoring the chaos in the background.
“I thought it was for never.”
“It’s the same.”
“Huh.”
Theo turned his gaze away from him, a bit disconcerted. Potter wasn’t what he had expected. Nice, yes, but cunning, cheeky and blunt. He was also perpetually disheveled, grinning and fidgeting. It was far from the polished image crafted by the papers, more real, more human and approachable.
He caught a glimpse of the ongoing war and tried to immerse himself once again in his book. Impossible. From what Theo could briefly discern, his neighbor hadn’t made any attempt to resume studying. Instead, he was watching the fight attentively, his crooked smile hidden behind his palm. Against rationality itself, Theo had the mysterious urge to keep their conversation going.
“Do you think pears are generally weirdly shaped ?” He blurted out, without even thinking.
What the hell? Was he insane? Yes, he was. But did he have to display it in front of Potter? Most certainly not! Mortified, Theo wanted to sink in the ground and never come out again. That’s why he didn’t talk to people, for fuck sake. He wanted to say something, anything really, but the raven-haired boy answered before he could do so.
“Yeah, I think so. Or, at least, every pear I personally encountered had indeed a weird shape.” The green eyes left the massacre to land on him, twinkling. “Did you see our portrait? I think if it was capable of talking, I’d be having nightmares about the thing.”
Theo chuckled nervously, relaxing only a little from his previous panic. Potter wasn’t wrong about the portrait. A truly dreadful thing.
“What are you two laughing about? Didn’t you come to study?”
The annoyed voice of Hermione pierced through Theo’s foggy mind. They were both met with the deadly glare of the witch, who had finally, it seemed, stopped arguing with Draco. The latter yawned, tiredness slackening his posture.
“Mione, you just spent the last fifteen minutes bickering with Draco.”
“Well, at least, Harry, it was about school!”
“Hey! Us too, right Theo?”
Shocked to be addressed with such familiarity, said Theo could only hiccup a strangle noise as a positive reply. Honestly, he was a bit overwhelmed by all of this and just wanted to go to sleep. He shot a save-me look to Draco, who nodded in response.
“Well,” The blond cleared his throat graciously. “I’m quite exhausted by all the fun we had. Theo, could you escort me to the dorm, please? I’m not sure I’ll be able to keep my eyes open all the way.”
“Yes, of course! Let’s go!”
He precipitately grabbed his things and launched himself towards Draco. Theo almost tore the arm off his friend by gripping it. After saying a quick goodbye to their classmates, the two Slytherin left the Library, the brunet urgently dragging the other one along.
“Well, I think it went pretty good!” Harry declared, grinning widely.
“Harry, he was fleeing…” Hermione deadpanned.
“Yep, it went swimmingly!”
“Merlin, help me!”