A Trapped Spider
It’s five am when Tony is woken up to a phone call. He groans, turning on his side as he lets it ring. It stops over a minute later. Tony smiles and closes his eyes again, intending on continuing his sleep and his nice dream about his college days with Rhodey.
Two minutes later, it rings again.
Pepper hits him in the head with a pillow and tells him to answer it. But to answer it outside of the room so that she can keep sleeping.
He sighs, getting up and shivering as the cold air hits his body. He takes his phone, putting it up to his ear with a grunt as he steps out into the hallway. “What?” he says, knowing he comes across as moody. Because he was. Very moody. It’s been years since he had a good sleeping pattern, and now he was woken up at five AM when he could be cuddled up in his king-sized bed with a memory foam mattress. It’s a nicer wake up call compared to constant hangovers and bottles flooding his floor, to be fair.
“Good morning, Tony,” Sam says, voice laced with sarcasm. “I wanted to ask if you were serious about being the Avenger’s new consultant.”
“Of course,” Tony said, wondering why this conversation had to happen at 5 am. “I want to help, Cap. But I also want to stay married, so this is the best way to do it.”
“Right. Well. I’ve got an issue here that you can help with. Some shield agents have forced Spider-Man to come in and are trying to get him to reveal his identity. As you know, the Sokovia accords have been repealed so this violates Spider-Man’s rights. They’re not listening to me, so I thought I’d bring the big guns out. You.”
Tony’s heart dropped, imagining the timid yet brave kid surrounded by agents without any escape. He told Sam that he’d be there as soon as possible, leaving after telling Pepper where he’d be. She didn’t seem overly impressed, but at least he wasn’t out flying into a wormhole holding a nuke. At least she could breathe.
Tony walked into the ‘containment’ wing of Shield’s headquarters, feeling a wave of worry come over him when he saw Spider-Man sitting alone in the middle of the room with his knees up to his chest. His mask, luckily, was still over his head. But he wasn’t moving. He was still, barely breathing, and staring at the floor. When Tony walked in, he barely managed to lift his head to look over. Not only did he look scared, but he was visibly exhausted. Tony thought he looked as if he was ready to give up.
“I’ll remind you that you’re not in charge, Cap,” He heard a voice from the other side of the room. He turned around to see Sam seething with anger as he spoke to the newest replacement of Nick Fury, some balding guy that Tony didn’t know the name of.
“And I’ll remind you, sir, that neither are you,” Sam spoke back. He hadn’t yet noticed Tony was behind him. “Or did you forget you are only acting head whilst Nick Fury is off the earth? Spider-Man has chosen to keep his identity secret. With the repeal of the Sokovia accords, he has every right to do so.”
“He’s right,” Tony said, walking up to the two of them. “So, I suggest you let him go. Right now.”
“Mr Stark, this has nothing to do with you, since I recall that you are no longer part of the Avengers. Therefore, you are not anything to do with shield either,” Bald man, who Tony didn’t want to learn the name of, spoke with a bitterness clearly laced in his voice like he’d been sucking on a lemon. Tony rolled his eyes without caring that he could see.
“Oh, you see… that’s where you’re wrong. I’m their consultant. I make their weapons. I’d say I do quite a lot even without being in the suit. I suggest you release Spider-Man before I find a way to make your life hell. And that is a promise, not a threat,” Tony spoke.
The guy clenched his hands. Dressed in a poor excuse of a good suit, Tony’s brain told him to reach out and yank his tie, but he didn’t let his intrusive thoughts win this time. He watched as the acting head finally got some of his agents to take the power-dampening cuffs off Spider-Man. He looked pissed off, because knowing people like him, Tony imagined he wanted to experiment with or use Spider-Man for his own needs.
Tony walked up to Spider-Man slowly once the agents had left the room and he was the only one left there. Approaching him like you would a stray dog, Tony made himself smaller, so they were on the same level. “Hey,” he smiled. Spider-Man’s head gently raised, before he looked around the room and pushed himself against the wall. “It’s okay, kid. I’m not going to let them hurt you.”
“Why?” he said.
Tony raised his brow in thought. He couldn't understand why Spider-Man was confused that Tony wanted to help him. The young boy's voice was so hurt, strained, and broken. Tony didn't know what he had gone through, but whatever it was, it had to have frightened him enough that he began to isolate himself from the outside world. Tony can see that he was incredibly traumatised, beyond what he had ever witnessed before. He was alone, afraid, and worn out, and the Shield agents may have now caused him to stop trying altogether.
Tony sat down. “You saved my daughter,” he said. “But that’s not it.” He looked at Spider-Man and gently put his hand by him. Tony hid his smile when he noticed him edge closer. He felt rewarded that Spider-Man trusted him enough not to bolt. “I’ve seen the stuff you do. You help everyone and expect nothing in return. So, I want to do the same for you. You deserve to keep your identity secret if that is something you wish to do, and you also deserve not to be hurt because of it.”
“…Thank you, Mr Stark,” he said.
Tony smiled. ‘Mr Stark’. He almost laughed. It’s what the figure in his nightmares/dreams also called him, but Tony saw no correlation between the two. But hearing that name in a familiar voice made Tony’s heart stutter. He wanted to keep Spider-Man safe, to hear him say ‘Mr Stark’ repeatedly… because it felt normal. It felt right. Looking at Spider-Man made his brain sing. He should be around all the time.
“You know, I only know one other person that consistently calls me ‘Mr Stark’ even though I tell him not to,” Tony told him, that smile still on his face. It was hard to let go of it when sat beside this kid.
“…Who?” Spider-Man said, his voice picking up. Tony could’ve sworn he heard hope within him.
“Uh- I-,” he stuttered, because even though the figure called him it- he never had a nightmare where he tried to get him to call him ‘Tony’ instead. He didn’t know anyone that always called him that, but when he told Spider-Man, he was certain it was true. “Just an old friend,” he lied. Telling someone who you just met, and who you don’t even know the name of, that they sounded like an imaginary ‘friend’ would just scare them away. He thought it was easier to just lie.
“Oh,” Spider-Man said, sounding dejected.
“Do you want- I mean, do you think you’d like to come to the compound? I know some people are there and we can make you some food and go to the lab-“ he said, but Spider-Man was already shaking his head. “I just want to help you. No offence, but you look very tired and hungry. Are you getting enough food?”
“I’m fine.”
“Yeah, bullshit,” Tony said. “You’re not okay.”
“What do you know?” Spider-Man argued. “You have no idea how I’m feeling, don’t pretend that you do!”
“Okay, so I’ve struck a nerve there,” Tony said, “though I have no idea how. You sound like this kid I know. His name’s Harley. Real troublemaker- but I guess that’s the teenager in him. Hey, how old are you?”
“That’s none of your business,” Spider-Man said. He was back up against the wall. Tony’s small amount of progress had fallen as soon as he said, ‘you’re not okay’. But sometimes that’s the price you pay to make sure someone is doing good, even if they hate you for it. “Do you even know who I am?”
“…What? Underneath the mask?”
“Yes, underneath the mask,” he said. Tony imagined himself rolling his eyes like it was a simple statement. Which it was. Of course not! Tony had no idea who Spider-Man was. If he did, then all of this would likely be much easier. “Do you know who I am?” he repeated.
“No.”
“…Okay- yeah- well… I thought so,” he said. He heard him sniff. Tony’s chest tightened. Oh, he didn’t want him to cry. He didn’t know how to deal with it properly. Spider-Man got up, now that the cuffs were off, and opened the window. Tony knew they were on the 10th floor, and even if Spider-Man had sticky hands… Tony didn’t want him to climb out that way. It made him feel so queasy in the same way he did whenever Morgan climbed a bit too high. “Please stop talking to me. You’re making it so much more difficult.”
What? Tony was so confused that he didn’t notice Spider-Man jumping out of the window and swinging away. Tony didn’t understand what he was doing to make Spider-Man’s life hard. If anything, he’d actively tried to help make it better but when he was constantly scattering away from him like Tony was a big, bad, monster, it made it hard.
Tony pushed himself up with one arm, forgetting his bad balance. Sam was there to catch him, holding him steadily until they both knew it was okay to let go. Tony nodded, an unspoken thanks, as he walked out of the room with his head held high. He wouldn’t let anyone think differently of him.
Sam knew many people that have lost a limb. Whether through war, experimentation, or, in Tony’s case, magical stones. Tony knew that he understood what it was like. Therefore, he knew that right now Tony didn’t want to speak about it. He’s the same person, he can do the same things. Losing his arm doesn’t, and never will, make him weak.
He hates the way people stare at it. He hates the empathetic looks and the number of times that he has heard ‘I’m sorry’. He’s not sorry. It’s still him, he’s fine, and a lost arm isn’t enough to keep him down. He knows that they mean well and that some people do struggle when they lose something they’ve had all their life (it hasn’t been easy for him), but to repeat the same conversation over and over really gets irritating by the 3rd time… never mind the 50th.
“You’ve got a soft spot for him, Stark,” the bald man with no name who is also the acting director says sinisterly. Tony imagines him rubbing his hands together like a cartoon villain would. “No wonder you were so quick to leave your cave to come and help.”
Tony looks at him and laughs. “Alright. Piss off.”
Before he can reply, Tony leaves. He walks over to the balcony and sees Spider-Man swinging away in the distance. The bald man might be weird and creepy, but he’s right. The soft spot for someone he doesn’t know is odd, but it’s there and Tony’s done pretending it’s not. He wants to help him before it is too late.
With Spider-Man now missing (and wanting nothing to do with him), Tony decides that his job is done for the day. He takes the self-driving car home and within a few hours, he’s back at the lake house. Happy’s car is parked outside, and Tony can see the War Machine suit around the back. It doesn’t make him miss his own. It really doesn’t...
He walks inside and is greeted with chaos.
Happy’s holding Morgan in the air and running around the living room. She’s making plane noises, pretending she’s thousands of feet in the air. Maybe it’s not plane noises, because then she starts ‘shooting’ things out of a cardboard sleeve on her arm. Tony reckons she’s trying to be him.
Pepper’s holding a cup of coffee and watching them from the couch. Rhodey sits to her left, grinning as he takes a video. Morgan’s always had such a good family behind her, that it warms his heart. Tony turns his head to the right of Pepper. That seat looks empty. He blinks.
The figure is back. It’s sat on his living room sofa with a dark cloud obscuring his face. Pepper is by his side. Rhodey’s sat to her left. Happy and Morgan are on the floor playing with some of her blocks. She looks younger. It’s almost like the scene he walked into was replicated but with the figure dropped in. Even if he can’t see their face, he sees a giant and bright smile. It’s a smile, however, that feels fake. Tony can imagine the dark cloud over his face is accompanied by a storm cloud following him wherever he goes. He’s quiet as everyone else speaks, looking around. Tony sees himself sitting beside them.
“Hey, kiddo. Are you alright? I haven’t heard you speak in a while – which either means you’ve been replaced by a different version of yourself or you’re sad. I don’t think I like the idea of either of them,” he says.
His voice is calm and small, his arm wrapping around the figure’s shoulders. The two of them, although in the same room as everyone else, look and speak only to each other as if they’re locked away in a bubble. Tony’s smiling as they lean against him, resting their head on his chest. He sighs in contentment.
“Kid? Instead of using me as a human pillow, talk to me. Please.”
Tony knows himself, and he knows that this version of himself is worried. He’s holding on tight with his one arm, so this must’ve been post-snap. He’s watching him carefully with a tentative gaze.
“I’m fine.”
“No, you’re not. I know you, remember? I know how you lie. I know when you’re hiding all those little injuries from me. I’m the smartest man on earth, you know?” he smiles when that makes the figure laughed.
Tony sees the cloud shift a bit. He sees a pair of brown eyes. He sees the messy curls on the other Tony’s chest. He struggles to understand how it’s so vivid. It must be real. All of it has to be. It doesn’t make sense how these memories feel like they belong in his heart rather than his head. They’re real, and he knows it now. But if they are- why can’t he remember who this person was that meant too much to him?
“I’m good, Mr Stark. I’m just… happy that you’re home. I’ve missed you.”
Yeah, Tony thought, he misses the kid too.
Tony’s on the ground when he comes back. Pepper’s holding a crying Morgan. Rhodey and Happy are standing over him on the phone to the ambulance. Tony blinks, the lights overwhelming him as he struggles to see straight ahead. He tries to sit up, but Rhodey puts a hand on his chest.
“Rest, Tones,” he says.
“Wha-,” Tony tries to speak but he finds that his throat hurts. He doesn’t know what happened. “What- happened?” he finally manages to say. He doesn’t remember how he got on the ground and why the chaos he walked into had completely shattered.
“The ambulance is on its way-,” Happy says. “You’ve had a fall- you fainted in front of all of us. You’ve been out for about twenty minutes- we- we didn’t know what to do.”
“No ambulance,” Tony says. Because whatever is happening to him isn’t medical. It’s magical. He needs to see Dr Strange. He was on Titan too, so at least if he remembers this figure then he will know he’s not going crazy. He tries to sit up once more, but this time it’s his head that stops him. He feels light-headed. “Need- need Dr Strange.”
“No, Tony, you need the ambulance,” Happy says. Tony sees Pepper walk off in the background. He knows that she wouldn’t want Morgan to see him like this.
“No,” Tony snaps. “I need Dr Strange. Please. Just trust me- I need-,”
“…Okay,” Rhodey says, concerned.
Rhodey cancels the ambulance, and instead, he is on the phone with Stephen Strange (why he had his number, but the magician refused to put Tony’s in his phone is something they’d be speaking about after this whole mess was sorted). Seconds after their conversation is over, a golden ring appears in Tony’s living room. Strange steps out in his cape, his arms crossed over his chest. He looks… confused, rather than concerned when he sees Tony still led on the floor.
“Even though I’m a doctor doesn’t mean you call me to sort these things out instead of going into the hospital,” he says. He sighs. “What happened?”
“He fell-,”
“No- listen-“ Tony interrupts, trying to find a way that he could explain what has been happening in his head. He looks up at Rhodey and Happy. “Can I speak to him on my own? Please?”
They’re slow to agree, but as Tony’s helped up and put them on the sofa, their defences wear down. Happy’s the first to go, walking in the direction of Morgan and Pepper. Rhodey makes sure his best friend is not going to topple over and die before he says goodnight and tells Tony he’s off to the compound if he needs him. He hears the War Machine armour set off a minute later.
Tony, still light-headed from his nightmare (or vision- he’s not sure what to call them yet), looks at Strange. “I’ve got a question, first, about Titan.” He watches as Strange walks across his room, his cape following him like a fan was constantly blowing over them. He sits beside Tony and nods, silently saying ‘well, go on then’. Well, that is what Tony imagines he wants to say. “Do you remember a kid- I don’t know the exact age-fighting with us?”
“No,” Strange tells him. “I don’t.” He narrows his eyes, but Tony sees a glint of excitement in them. Strange is as much of a ‘puzzle’ solver as he is, especially if it involves his craft. If there’s a possibility of figuring something out, he’s on it. “Why? Do you?”
“It’s all I’m thinking of at the moment. This figure- it’s not only on Titan. I see them everywhere. When I walked into my house… they were there and it’s like they always have been, but I can’t- I can’t remember any of these memories. There’s so many and it’s driving me crazy.”
“So, you had one of these ‘memories’ before you fainted?” Strange asks. Tony nods in response. “Hm. Do you mind if we go back to the sanctum sanctorum? I’d like to see if your mind has recently been affected by a memory spell. If it has, there is a possibility your connection to what you have forgotten was so strong that your brain is trying to fight against the magic.”
Tony agrees to the magical field trip and finds himself in the Sanctum sanctorum surrounded by candles and scribbles- stuff that Tony thought actual ‘wizards’ wouldn’t use (he thought it was just a TV thing), but he thinks he’ll trust the man that was apart of the team that saved the universe. He lays back on the floor where Strange tells him to go, and feels the magic come over him like the sun’s warm rays. It’s beautiful- that feeling- not that he’d ever tell Strange that.
He's covered in the magic for a while. It buzzes around his skin and feels like someone is tapping their fingers gently all over his body. He closes his eyes and lets the spell enwrap him, listening to Strange talk. It’s weirdly compelling to listen to. Maybe he’d hire Strange to come and stand in the room and do spells the next time he got a massage.
He's led on the floor for a while when he hears Strange say, “I can tell that you’re under the effects of a memory-loss spell. From what the spell tells me, it looks like this person that you’re forgetting was one of the most important people in your life.”
“…Well, how do I get them back?” Tony asks.
“I’m afraid that without knowing who this person is, there’s nothing I can do.”
“Why not?” Tony asks.
He’s tired. If this person meant so much to him, then he wanted them back. He wanted them in his life for good because that’s where they’re supposed to be. It felt as if his soul was broken in two. He couldn’t focus on normal life and his friendships, because in the back of his mind there was always this buzzing reminding him not everyone is here.
Though, having proof that these memories were real made him feel sane. This figure, whoever he was (and Tony was now determined to find out), was real. Everything he had seen in the past few days, the things he dreamt about- it was all real.
“These memories include a lot of people. But at the core, it’s the two of you. I’d have to draw energy from them- and from you- to even think about getting them back. But erasing memories is a powerful kind of magic. There’s a chance that they’re gone forever,” he explains, and Tony doesn’t like the sound of that.
“If I find them- how do I know it’s the right person?”
“You’ll know, Tony. The closer you get to them, the more your memories will try their best to come back. If you’re in contact with the person, the ‘figure’ that you see will become clearer. You might even see their face in your visions, making the guessing game even easier. And, even without all of that, this person means a lot to you- I might even say that they are one of your soulmates- you’ll know it’s them that you’re missing given time. I promise you.”
Tony nods. “Thank you so much for your help, Strange. I owe you one.”
“No, Stark. I owe you one. Thank you for all that you did in saving our universe. A lot of people are forever in your debt,” he says. It’s the nicest thing he’s ever said to him, and Tony does appreciate it. “If you find the missing part of your soul, let me know. I’ll do everything in my power to reconnect you both.”
“Of course. Thanks again,” Tony says. He’s then ushered back home in a portal.
By the time he’s back, Happy’s gone. He’s told Morgan’s in bed.
“Are you okay?” Pepper asks. She comes up to him as he steps out into their bedroom, dressed in her old pyjamas. Their lampshade is on. Her favourite book is open on the covers. It's 1 AM. She’s been waiting for him to come back.
Tony wraps a hand around her waist. He gently rests his head on her shoulders. With all their arguing recently, and the visions which have suddenly surfaced, they haven’t had time to just be them. He breathes in her scent. Her hand clenches the fabric of her shirt.
“Tony?” she asks, concern clear in her voice.
“I’m good,” he says. “I love you.”
“You’re worrying me, Tony,” she says. She steps back and grabs his hands. “Are you sure that you are okay? Please, tell me the truth.”
“I’m good, I swear,” he says. “I- I’ve just got some weird stuff going on, stuff that is hard to explain. But I promise you it’s nothing to do with aliens or secret villains. I’ll tell you in due time when it all makes sense. Okay? I might be a bit distant as I try to figure it out but know that I’ll always come back to you.”
“As long as you’re telling me the truth,” she whispers.
Tony leans forward and presses a kiss against her lips. “I’ll be okay,” he whispers back as soon as he leans back.
He doesn’t know if he’s telling the truth, but he hopes that he is. He hopes that it will all be okay.