Remember Me

Tony was baffled by the journal he was holding. When he opened it, he found that there were no entries, but that each page had a date written on top of it in the same style as the front. He wondered if the content inside was secret and that the author had erased the pages with- … well, magic, maybe to keep it safe. Time travel was possible, so erasing memories and diary entries could be too. Most of them dated before the snap, and then only a few afterwards, indicating that whoever ‘Peter’ was, was part of the blipped population. But the main mystery, following the missing entries, was why it ended up here.

He browsed the remaining pages of the book in the hopes of finding any writing that would reveal the solution to the mystery. Sadly, nothing was there. With the exception of one page, where Tony could detect some ink smudges left behind. In an effort to activate his brain, he placed his thumb over it and stared for what felt like an hour. Still, none of it made any sense.

An empty, but used, book in a bedroom none of his family even recognised, but a bedroom that was opposite his own. A name that Tony had never heard of, yet saying it felt right. The name ‘Peter’ fell out his mouth like it had lived there before. It was natural and fluent. Saying it was like meeting with an old friend and catching up, realising you should’ve never let them slip through your fingers.

He sighed, closing the book. He couldn’t exactly get Friday to search his name on a database without anything to go on. There were plenty of Peter Parker’s in the world and without a way to distinguish which one this belonged to, there was no chance of finding him. He couldn’t go around every house with a Peter Parker in the world asking if this was their journal like he was prince charming and the journal was the glass slipper. It was impossible.

Looking at the front cover, Tony saw the familiar logo of the stem school Midtown Tech. Tony only recognised it as he recalled that he did a talk there once. Why he said yes to a high school talk when he barely tolerated college kids, he didn’t know. There was something about that school that must’ve pulled him in. Once again, however, his mind drew blanks, and he was still at square one.

Or was he?

If this kid went to Midtown, what were the chances there was someone of his exact name also enrolled? If he could find the Peter Parker that went there, then surely it would lead him right to the mystery culprit.

Deciding not to go back to bed after his argument with Pepper, Tony instead went down to the lab with the journal in his hands. He placed it on his desk and grabbed a glass of water from the sink. He put on his glasses, since he was getting old, and booted up his computer.

Hacking the school’s database was the easy part. Within seconds he was in. Tony was excited since he believed this would be a simple solution as he went right to their list of previous and present pupils. However, no results were acquired. Other than a Parker by the name of Ben, who was not the person he was searching for, nothing came up. There was no evidence that a Peter Parker was ever enrolled in that school.

Tony was more puzzled than before. He is beginning to believe that Peter was a ghost or that his lack of sleep is causing him to hallucinate, and this notebook was actually fake. This ‘Peter’ couldn’t have been wiped from the face of the world; it didn’t make sense. He reasoned that Peter stealing the diary from a friend who attended the school would be an easier explanation. But now Tony was left with more questions rather than answers.

He woke up that morning with his head on his desk, and his body barely holding onto the chair he was sitting on. His hair was a mess, and the phantom pain from his lost arm made him feel incapable of moving. He groaned as he got to his feet, but he was determined. That had always been apart of him whether it be a blessing or a curse. Some called it stubbornness.

He got up to the kitchen and missed the smell of freshly cooked food. Instead, he smelt the freshly cut grass. His gardener was the only other person in the house, he came to realise. His wife and daughter were nowhere to be found. He walked over to the kitchen and found a note addressed to him.

‘Tony,

Morgan wouldn’t stop asking about Happy. We’ve gone to the park to see him. There’s some lunch made up in the fridge. We won’t be late home.

Love,

Pepper.’

Tony frowned. He felt as if this was a farce, and the real reason she went out was to get away from him. Look, he got it. The suits caused a lot of pain and suffering. He knew that firsthand. He hadn’t slept properly since the first day he stepped into Mark One. But he helped people- he finally had a legacy that wasn’t a weapons merchant. Wasn’t that worth more than him getting his eight hours? People finally thought of him as a hero. Call him self-absorbed, but it made him feel good.

However, it wasn’t worth losing his family over.

Tony decided that he needed to get out. Grabbing the most reliable self-driving car he had, he hopped in it and decided to check out how the compound was doing. The re-build was going well, he had heard, but he hadn’t seen it himself yet.

It had been one year since that final battle when his new, fresh, avengers compound was blasted into thousands of pieces by Thanos and his army. Most of it was back up now, apart from some little bits. He walked into the front doors and felt like every pair of eyes were on him.

The first person he recognised was Sam, who now wore the shield. It looked good on him, but Tony couldn’t help but see Steve every time he saw the stars and stripes. He hated to admit it, but he missed Steve. He hated the fact that he left them all. But leaving Sam with his legacy was a great choice. It suited him.

“Hey, Cap,” he smiled, putting his hand on Sam’s shoulder. Behind him, he saw Bucky hovering. He didn’t make eye contact with Tony, preferring the floor instead. “How’s it going?”

“It’s good,” Sam said. He looked at Tony funny, raising his eyebrow. He looked commanding as Cap, alongside his wings from the old Falcon suit. It was a good uniform. He’d have to compliment whoever made it. Though, he did feel a twinge of jealously. He was the uniform designer. Just because he was out of commission didn’t mean they had to replace him. “No offence, Tony, but why are you here?”

“Wow, straight to it. I see why Cap liked you,” Tony smiled. He shrugged. He wasn’t sure why he decided to go to the compound, so he wasn’t sure how to answer him. But he was never short of words. He could keep a conversation up with anybody. It was his ‘superpower’, sort of. Not everyone liked it. “Felt cooped up. Decided I wanted to get back into business, just not as Iron Man. I’ll be Tony, the consultant.”

“…Okay.”

“What’s my first order of business then, Cap? Since you’re the one in charge.”

“Uh,” Sam said. He found it weird to be ordering Tony around. But Tony was right. He was the captain now, so he was the one that went around delegating roles he didn’t have the time for. “We’ve been looking for some new recruits. Maybe with your tech skills, you can find out who’s who and who is willing.”

“Aye aye, Captain,” Tony said, saluting Sam.

He nodded at Bucky, deciding not to scare the man too much. Yeah, Tony did try to kill him but that was the emotions talking and it was in the past. He understood the situation now. Bucky wasn’t in control of his own mind when he killed Tony’s parents, like how Tony wasn’t in control when he found out. He’d like to fix things if Bucky could ever bear to look at him. Though, he got that too. Seeing his parents murderer, even if it wasn’t his fault, did kind of make him feel like he should be anywhere else but there.

Walking up to his office, which he had specifically asked to be rebuilt first, he went straight into every record Shield had on Spider-Man. Even if he thinks of Spider-Man first because of Morgan, he also understands that having him on their team would be useful. The kid’s good, handling a lot of things by himself that would normally take a whole team. He’s strong and intelligent, and secretly Tony has a bit of a soft spot for him. Why? He had no idea.

Even if new superheroes were popping up everywhere, Spider-Man was the only one he wanted to know more about. The kid was elusive. Hardly anything was known about him. Shield had a lot more information on the others. There was that kid- ‘Ms Marvel’- or Bruce’s cousin ‘She Hulk’ or even Barton’s new competition, the ‘younger’ Hawkeye. But all Tony cared about was Spider-Man.

Tony blinks and suddenly he’s in front of a ferry rather than a computer screen.

‘Band practise?” he hears himself say.

He blinks again and he’s on top of a roof top.

It’s that figure again. He’s stood with his arms around his chest as if they’ve become a protective shield. Tony doesn’t see their face, but he sees the head of curls that have been haunting his dreams so often in the past few days.

“Is anyone hurt?” he asks. His voice is so vulnerable, so childlike, that Tony has to stop himself from thinking about the dust. He pushes it aside, trying his hardest to not have a nightmare inside a nightmare.

Tony hears himself say “No thanks to you,” but it doesn’t feel like it comes from him. Whoever this version of himself is, he doesn’t know them. Because this never happened- this memory is fake- and it’s all so confusing because it feels so, so real.

“No thanks to me? Those weapons were out there, and I tried to tell you about them, but you didn’t listen! None of this would have happened if you just listened to me! If you even cared, you’d actually be here,” the figure says. He’s not sure why they’re talking about weapons, and why someone who was obviously so young was involved in all of it, but the way he hears the quiver in his voice makes Tony’s heart ache.

Tony sees himself step out of the suit. “I did listen, kid,” he says. “Who do you think called the FBI, huh? Did you know I was the only one who believed in you? Everyone else said I was crazy for recruiting a fourteen-year-old kid-,”

“I’m fifteen-,”

Tony’s heart hurt. This child- the same one who he saw turn to dust- and who fought alongside him on Titan- was only fifteen. Was his brain playing tricks on him? Surely, this was all wrong- all so wrong. Because why? Why would he allow a teenager to fight with him? It can’t be right.

“This is where you zip it!”

Tony recognises that tone of voice. He only used it when Morgan did something really bad. Like when she poured paint all over his mother’s priceless painting. That one had been hard to deal with. She was only little and had no idea what she was doing, but Tony still lost his patience. It was hard being a parent when you want to shout but feel like you should be teaching a lesson at the same time.

He still doesn’t understand why this memory nightmare was making him feel like he’d keel over from a heart attack. Why did this figure make him feel so lost? Why did his real nightmares suddenly feel like child’s play compared to the loss and fear that these fakes struck him with?

The door opening made him jump out of his skin as it brought him back to the real world. He’d have to argue with his inner thoughts another time.

“Tony?” he heard.

He snapped out of the trance he was in to see Sam hovering at the door, his head halfway through and his body still outside. Once he noticed Tony was back from wherever his head went to, he stepped inside and closed the door behind him.

Tony looked at the time and realised it had been thirty minutes since he came into the room. But he hadn’t done anything to prove that any time had passed. His computer screen had turned off from inactivity and Tony himself had cramps from where he’d been sat still for so long. He blinked up at Sam, still trying to catch up (it felt a bit like jet lag) when he noticed the man’s concerned face.

“…I got a call from Pepper,” Sam said.

Tony rolled his eyes. Of course. “Sam, I’m fine,” he said. “Pepper’s just worried. She thinks I can’t-“

“No,” he interrupted. “It’s not – she- well-“

“Spit it out, man.”

“Morgan’s in danger. Pepper’s okay- she’s at home now with the police. Some guy, we don’t know who, grabbed her at the park and well-,”

Before Sam could give him any more details, Tony was up and out of the room. His heart raced as he thought of his poor little girl in the arms of someone who wanted his money- or to hurt her for revenge. He’s hurt a lot of people throughout his life, and for some reason, it’s the ones you’d never expect that want to hurt his family back.

Tony was pacing as he got back in his self-driving car, driving back to the lakehouse where Sam had told him Pepper was. He went far beyond the speed limit, but he didn’t care. All that was on his mind was Morgan. He raced in and paled when he noticed she still wasn’t home.

“Tony,” Pepper said, rushing towards him. She grabbed him and pulled him into a tight embrace. It’s like the argument was forgotten as soon as their daughter was in danger, something he was grateful for. She held him for a long time, her familiar scent calming him. He knew in his heart they’d get her back eventually; it’s just how long it would take that concerned Tony. “Oh, God. They took her, Tony, and we didn’t realise until it was too late- they had these jets or something and we couldn’t catch up.”

“It’s okay,” he whispered. He pulled back. “I can get her, Pep. Just let me get in the suit and-“

“Tony, no. Don’t make this about that. This isn’t a situation for you to prove you were right. This is our daughter. The police are out there doing their best. Focus on that,” Pepper said.

Tony pulled back. “But I’m faster than them. I can get her, then it’s over. I swear.”

“But it’s not, Tony! What happens if something goes wrong? You’re not used to the suit anymore. What if you get injured and they hurt Morgan because you pissed them off? Then I lose both of you. So, no. Let the police do their jobs. Please, Tony. I can’t see you like that again. I can’t-“

Tony nodded, though he felt like he shouldn’t listen to his wife. He felt like he should be out there. Suit or no suit, Tony could do far better than the police. He promised Pepper he’d forget the suit, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t use his tech. He connected to her bracelet he always made her wear, to find the signal had been bugged. They must’ve done something to it to prevent him from easily finding her.

He groaned, thinking about what else he could do.

He hacked into the police radios to see if he could listen out for any news. He sat there all evening, even if he knew deep down that he should be sat with his wife as they go through the worst pain any parent could go through. He had to be here, however. He had to be here as soon as they found out the news, not when the police decided it was the right time to tell them.

He was starting to fall asleep as the minutes turned into hours. His eyes were barely staying open, closing now and then. Every time that he tried to sleep he would splash a bit of water on his face to keep him awake. Then, when that started to fail, he brewed a pot of coffee that he knew would keep him going for hours.

Everything in his mind screamed ‘Morgan’. He needed her back. He needed her cheeky little grin and her hyperactive mind. She was the perfect cross of Tony and Pepper. Tony was immensely proud of everything that she did. Thinking of her being scared in a random person’s house, or secret lair, made him feel sick to his stomach.

He’s about to give up and head upstairs when he hears-

‘She’s not in the warehouse, boss. The gang that took her are all knocked out and there are webs everywhere. We think Spider-Man beat us to it,” he hears an officer say.

Tony jumps out of his seat. He’s running out onto the porch before his mind catches up. He trips and falls, but when he looks up and sees a red figure carrying a little girl- nothing else matters. He manages to get up and when he does… life feels balanced for the first time in a while. Morgan’s in his arms, Spider-Man’s here- and-

He’s not sure why Spider-Man being around was relevant to making his life feel balanced, but he’d take it. This time the kid hasn’t bailed, keeping his eyes on Morgan. He watches as Pepper comes out and takes her, crying silently into her shoulder as Morgan tells her all about how Spider-Man saved her.

“Thank you,” Tony cries. Pepper says the same.

“It was awesome, mommy! He took all the bad men down in like five seconds. He looked really angry. Normally, Spider-Man doesn’t fight without saying funny words, but he said nothing at all. It was so cool,” She grinned.

“Are you hurt, Morgana?” Tony said, turning to see her. “Toes? Legs? Arms?” he asked like he did every time she got hurt. She shook her head, a lot like she did when she fell into him the other day. Like nothing had happened, she continued her story to her mom.

Pepper took her inside to get her warm and give her a bath to rid whatever marks those men left on his daughter. Tony turned back around and to his surprise, Spider-Man was still standing there. He was as still as a statue, weirdly unmoving as he stared forward at the house and the interactions between the three.

The kid’s too skinny, Tony notices. When he tries to walk away, his whole body collapses on itself. He takes in a deep breath and struggles as Tony holds his wrist and helps him up. Tony’s not sure if he’s terrified of Tony or physical touch, but the reaction is intense. He hears him sniff, and then he’s crying and Tony’s too shocked to ask why. He can see droplets coming out from underneath his mask.

“I’ve got to go-,” Spider-Man said. “I’m sorry.”

Tony blinks.

I don’t wanna go, Mr Stark…

….

…I’m sorry….

It’s a coincidence, for sure, but the voice sounds too familiar. He struggles to keep a straight face as Spider-Man limps away. It- is that blood on him? Tony thinks of wrapping him up in bubble wrap. Maybe asking him to join the Avengers was a bad idea… Tony knew in his heart that he’d rather almost die again then to risk Spider-Man’s life. But why he cared so much was a similar mystery to the figure in his dreams.

“Wait-“ Tony says, running to catch up to the vigilante as he had only reached the trees. “Kid,” he said. He didn’t miss how the one word causes Spider-Man to collapse onto the floor in a muffled sob. “Woah, hey. It’s going to be fine. How about you come inside so we can check out that limp? And the blood. You saved my daughter, the least I could do is put some bandages on you.”

“No,” Spider-Man replies, quickly. “I don’t need thanks- I don’t do this for thanks.”

“Trust me, kid, I think I’ve figured that part out,” Tony says. “You’re good. You seem better than all of them combined,” he says, honestly. He reaches out but Spider-Man flinches and flies back a few metres to distance himself from Tony. “Whatever reason that you’re too scared to come to me, it’s okay. Just know that there are people out there that’ll help you, that love you. I hope you go to them instead.”

Tony’s confused when the kid suddenly laughs. It’s the distinct opposite of only a few minutes ago when Spider-Man was crying on the floor. “Trust me, Mr Stark. Nobody out there loves me.”

Then, he’s gone, and Tony feels his heart drop. He wants to help. He wonders if it’s because he now owes him a favour or because he genuinely wants him to be okay. He looks lonely- and if Morgan’s right about his sudden flavour for violence, he’s also struggling. He’s not pulling his punches and people are getting hurt. Sure, it’s criminals that might deserve it from most people’s point of view, but it wasn’t usually Spider-Man’s way of fighting. Tony’s read up on him and he’s always been described as overly kind and merciful to the criminals he catches. He’s never killed or harmed someone so badly that they ended up in the hospital. He believed in rehabilitation.

Now, something has happened that has crushed the naïve hope inside of him that the world might become a better place one day. People keep ruining it, they keep chipping away at the hopeful perception of bettering society. They’ve crushed his heart of gold. Tony’s never believed in a peaceful world, but he has believed in people that do. He decides he wants to help Spider-Man get that faith back.

Even if it was naïve and stupid to believe in a course where every person is kind- it’s what made Spider-Man so different. Tony wonders if that’s the reason why he wants to look after him and make sure he’s okay. That has to be it. He tells himself that’s one mystery solved.

Tony walks into the kitchen after Spider-Man fled to the smell of familiar and fresh home-cooked food. Morgan sat on his lap as they watched whatever TV show she wanted. Tony checked for any more bruises and fortunately found none. They left her unharmed, waiting to transmit a video to Pepper and Tony to prove she was still well and alive, and Spider-Man beat them before they could do anything. People would do anything for money. Tony’s never lost the surprise of how much pain it causes.

Pepper comes and sits beside them, placing some breakfast food on the table. They sit, curled up into a ball, deciding that today is a ‘do nothing’ day. After almost losing their girl and fighting over mechanical suits, everything is pushed aside.

Tony decides that he’ll also put the ‘journal’ mystery, as well as the ‘waking nightmare’ mystery, aside for the day. That doesn’t mean he’s still not thinking about it, but it means he decides to spend most of his time watching Morgan and keeping her very close to him instead. Because he loves her and finding out she was missing was one of the most terrifying things he had ever experienced.

Although Morgan’s never been in that type of danger before, Tony feels as if he’s already felt that type of worry. He’s not sure who it was over… so he adds that mystery to his growing list. Although, he doesn’t think too much about it. He’ll do that tomorrow