Lost and found

Your deep blush and slight flinch tells him everything he needs to know because Bucky stills his movements and let out a low frustrating sigh (more to convince his over-stimulated self to back down rather than why he’s angry with you).

A few more seconds pass by with his pulsing girth still poking hard at your entrance until a low grunt rubbles through his chest and with a willpower he never knew he could possess, Bucky reluctantly removes his body from top of yours and sits on the edge of the bed, his eyes never leaving your face.

Well… If you think that you’re a mess then Bucky must be ready to explode or something because he looks like he’s literally suffering at the moment!

 He’s panting like a dog as he looks down at you with such ferocity in his stare that makes your heart skips a few beats. You witness as he momentarily shuts his eyes like he’s trying to make up his mind and suddenly he’s off the bed completely, crossing the floor swiftly as to put some considerable distance between your naked body and his pulsing erection that still stands long and proud against his lower stomach, screaming for some kind of attention (that hopefully it won't get...)!

 But this demonstration of extreme self control makes him look almost feral and you gulp a few times. So what happens now?

You don't dare to move an inch because honestly, you aren’t sure if you’re supposed to move from the bed too or if you’re even allowed to cover your nudeness. And you don’t wish to anger him again so you choose to just remain as you are, perfectly still and eyeing him with huge unsure eyes, not quite believe that this beast of a man would've ever been able to stop himself that easily. What if he changes his mind and lurches forward again? Yeah, you really don't want to risk that so you hold your breath and order your body to remain into the same spot.

But that also means you are so utterly exposed under his piercing gaze that by pure reflex you press your thighs together to preserve some modesty. This doesn’t go unnoticed because his eyes instantly leave your face to drop onto your legs and you don’t miss the dark glint that flashes through them… You gulp again… Oups!

Thankfully, other than this nothing else happens as Bucky doesn’t move an inch. And once again the silence around the room is deafening…

What is it about the two of you? You’ll either antagonize each other to the point you want to kill each other or you’ll do this staring contest to see who’s going to prevail!

 You bite the inside of your mouth, trying hard to prevent any fidgeting from your part but his stupid death stare doesn’t help much. For fuck sake, what is it with this man and his outraging habit to stare people into submission?!

More seconds pass in silence and you are ready to snap at him when he hisses and rubs a hand over his face.

“What the fuck doll?”

“Oh EXCUSE ME !!!” Your frantic mind protests! “I’m so sorry my inexperience has ruined your plans to rape me you bastard!”

 But even though your mind is screaming profanities at him, you bite your lip hard to remain silent as you don’t dare to insult him, especially when you still feel the way your butt still burns. But your eyes are spitting fire and Bucky doesn’t fail to notice.

And then the most unbelievable thing happens… You watch in disbelief as his posture relaxes and his own eyes soften a bit. You hear him sighing again, shaking his head at the same time and his hands go at the opening of his jeans to tuck his cock back inside. Oh fucking great! That makes you the only naked person in the room!

 When his focus is back on you again, he seems considerably calmer than before! He even brings his big palms up in the air as to show you that he’s not going to try anything else… And in his defense Bucky really doesn’t wish to scare you more than you already are! His mind even scolds him for how those last words came out… His question sounded more like an accusation rather than a genuinely concern….

Actually if he wants to be honest, his frustration isn’t exactly directed at you… More towards this whole fucked up situation. He is shocked… Beyond words…! That’s for sure!

Yes, he had already guessed that you mustn’t have much experience in that field but this… Oh, fuck him! How is he supposed to proceed with that new information…

… A fucking virgin!So fucking young!

 If you ask if he likes it? Oh, yeah, he does! So fucking much! The prospect of him being your first (and last if he wants to be candid) thrills him so much he literally feels his body tingling all over in excitement!

But… On the other hand he’s been sincere when he said he doesn’t wish t hurt you and if he intends to keep you here and in his bed for as long as he sees fit then fucking you like a brute your first time won’t help him much… He tries to get you to like him and not the other way round!

 Well now… This revelation changes a lot! Despite what you must think of him, Bucky isn’t a monster. He doesn’t go around kidnapping young innocent girls just to have fun!

All the while Bucky tries to wrap his head around this and decide how he feels about it, his brain still struggles to find something appropriate to say. He even feels a little ashamed of the way he’s handled you or how he has taunted you with his words.

 What was he thinking?!

Fuck, but this whole thing becomes more and more complicated... Because despite what his wicked self is whispering in his head at the moment or how aroused he might be, his more honorable side that most of the time remains hidden deep inside him has some serious second thoughts about his decision to take you…

Sadly, what’s done cannot be undone and Bucky knows pretty damn well that he cannot let you free! Ever! You're his... His girl! His pretty, little wild-cat!

More second pass by and still neither of you have dared to move or speak yet…

But as his inner battle goes on, his left hand goes to his crotch to rub some of the tension away. Damn him but he’s still hard for you! What have you done to him you crafty little witch and he behaves like a horny teen. Fuck that, not even back then had he ever behaved so recklessly!

Your gaze follows the move and Bucky hears you gasp virginally a little. That does things to him... Damn you and your fearful innocence!

His eyes instantly become two narrow holes and his jaw tightens as more dark thoughts flood his mind; his moral side has been silenced again!

You are his and the sooner you’ll accept that, the better!

His wicked side twists and roars inside him; it’s even agitated by the fact that you’ve dared to close your legs before… Like you were trying to hide something that belonged only to him!

… Oh, the things he could do to you…

…The things he could teach you…

…Mold you to his liking…

And fuck... but you have already been so responsive to his touch! How easy it would be for him to corrupt you; body and soul. Make you his perfect little slut, his loving girl, his docile, sweet pet…

After all… wasn’t that the reason why he took you in the first place?

You watch him sneer at you… Oh-oh, this doesn't look good now! 

His previous calm demeanor has shifted so rapidly once more and he has this predatory look on his face… What the heck?

You battle not to roll your eyes at him! Oh, this man has some seriously fucked up issues to work up with!

Bucky is the one who starts fidgeting first and his blue irises are gone in a matter of seconds, being replaced by pitch black.

Yes, definitely not good!!!

Your mind warns you that you better think of something fast and break that stupid staring contest because that man' s about to lose it again!

Your lips feel so dry when you finally open your mouth and try to think of something to say and break his trance.

“B-Bucky?”

His deep voice is out of this world.

“Doll?”

You swallow again.

“Please stop this! You’re freaking me out!”

 Bucky looks at you even more bewildered than before as two opposite sides inside him collide forcefully. The one that screams at him he’s not a monster, that he doesn’t need to scare you, the one who compels him to protect you and the other one, the darker one who just orders him to straddle you again and finish what he's started before.

You watch with huge fearful eyes how his Adam’s apple is going up and down rapidly.

"Please, you're scaring me." You try again.

And Bucky feels out of air all of a sudden!

No, he doesn't want to scare you! This is wrong. You should look up at him with eyes full of adoration, not fear!

....But fuck, he's even harder than before!

What is he going to do? 

Whatever that is, he needs to do it fast! Otherwise he fears for his sanity! 

No, he can't deny his body...

He shifts and moves an inch closer again causing your whole posture to stiffen and you crawl a little backwards, slowly, gently like you don't want to provoke the wolf inside him.

His eyes are fathomless and you see him licking his lower lip in delight.

Oh, that fucker, he enjoys all this! He actually likes it when he has you cornered like this! Like you're his fucking helpless prey or something...

That does the trick and unable to control it anymore your own frustration returns along with the hatred in your eyes and your palms fist the dirty mattress to stop yourself from lashing out at him.

And he notices it… 

 Well… damn him but that annoying need to protect you and care for you finally wins the internal battle.

Sam’s voice comes into his mind once again and Bucky curses loudly… He really hates it when he feels that way... Like he's a love-sick schoolboy! It makes him look fucking weak.

Fuck him and fuck you and fuck Sam! Yeah, especially Sam who put all those stupid ideas into his mind!

Bucky shakes his head a little to clear his thoughts. But more ideas get into his mind and the more he thinks about it the more he fears that maybe Sam’s words when he was teasing him about you, had some point!

Damn... He doesn’t want to care... Or have any sort of feelings for a girl he met just yesterday!

What the fuck is wrong with him? He’s never been a gentle or a caring lover, more of a heartless bastard better say, who was always chasing his own pleasure, not giving a fuck about the other’s person feelings or needs…

But he’s never been cruel! Never has intentionally hurt a woman before ( hmm… his mind voices some serious objection at that but Bucky ignores it).

Ok now, Buck's fucking certain that he must look like a fool, standing all this time in the middle of that God-damn room, staring down at you like some kind of creep.

And... Finally, finally, he makes up his mind and looks around a little to calm a bit before he asks roughly.

“What would you like me to do?”

You are not going to lie… You’re taken aback by the question and you're a little…speechless. Something that doesn’t happen to you very often…

 What would you like him to do?

Release you?

“Yeah...Not happening!” Your overwhelmed brain laughs.

Well… What then? Leave you alone? Stop harassing you? Stop looking at you like he’s about to devour you and step the hell back? What?

Or maybe... fuck you? A tiny voice inside you challenges.

You shudder and order this slutty voice to shut the fuck up!

You take your time, trying to think of the appropriate thing to say… But you can’t! You just don’t know how you should respond to this question…

How in hell are you supposed to know now what would you like him to do? To you?

Actually, if he cannot free you then there isn't anything else you could possibly want from this man!

Lies!!! Your brain shouts...

You grit your teeth! No, nope! You really don’t want anything from him!

Your eyes search his and the frown on his face is so deep.... And he’s waiting... For you to open your mouth and say something... And he seems rather impatient too...Oh shit!

Ok, maybe there is something you can ask for? A favor...maybe? But what? Your mind goes blank...

Pff, what a stupid question to ask! Who asks the victim what they'd like him to do to them...?

Like, I don’t know.... Don't fucking kidnap me in the first place? Let me contact with my people? Give me back my stuff you motherfucker  and let me go?

The same time your thoughts run wild, you notice that Bucky keeps looking at you expectedly… Wow, he's seriously expecting an answer from you... You do nothing more than chew and suck your bottom lip, looking from him to the wall behind him and back to him again.

Soon Bucky runs out of patience and judging by your baffled expression you have nothing to say, so he sighs and tries a new approach. 

“Look, Y/N…”

 Your eyes widen at that. Does he really know your name?

Bucky licks his lips and proceeds carefully.

“I don’t really know what I want to do with you…”

You frown…!  Wow great! Fucking great!

Thatyou didn’t expect… And it's not good... Because if he hasn't decided yet then who can assure you that he won't wake up in the morning determined to hand you over to Creepy Steve or shoot you??? You mean... until now you were pretty certain of what his intentions were but now? Apprehension crawls inside you... And before you realize it you ask.

“What about letting me go?”

Bucky tilts his head and gives you a pointed look.

Oups wrong thing to say?… Ok, worth the try!

“You know I cannot do that doll!”

You nod and lift your face to meet his gaze again.

“Then… What do you want to do with me?”

 You turn the question to him but you are really curious… If he doesn’t know what is going to happen to you then who does? And you pray he'll decide to keep you here...

Because no matter how much you hate to admit it you kinda prefer the "here" and Bucky than anything or anyone else in this fucking place!

You feel unsure and perplexed as you wait for his answer but thank God, Bucky boy is fast to clarify things for you.

“Oh doll! There are many things I wish to do to you and with you!”

Ok… His naughty tone makes it crystal clear as to which things he is referring to and you blush again. Damn this man!

But then why did he…? Curiosity is killing you...

“Why did you stop then?” It is a bold question but you really want to know!

“Would you prefer it if I hadn’t?” Bucky challenges.

Your breath hitches but you manage to steady your voice.

“That’s not what I’ve asked you!”

He regards you silently for a moment before he sighs.

“Despite what you must think of me I don’t wish to hurt you!”

At that you scoff.

Oh, sure!”

His face darkens and he takes a measured step closer.

“Have I hurt you so far?”

Your mouth opens and closes again.

What? Really now? Has he forgotten the way he had manhandled you all the way here? Or the way he ripped off your clothes earlier this day? Or the spanking? Or…

Bucky guesses your thoughts easily and it’s his turn to scoff next.

“Doll… Only yourself you can blame for that!”

Your brows knit together in confusion but that insufferable sucker Bucky only shrugs!

“You’ve been a handful!”

It slips before you can contain it.

“Oh fuck off!”

His deep scowl returns and his eyes speaks of destruction; your destruction.

"If another word slips from this lips; just one more... I dare you!"

But hell no, you are not gonna let yourself be intimated this time! And have totally forgotten your previous punishment, you push you body up to your knees to bring your face a bit closer and ignoring your complete nakedness you shout.

“YOU HAVE FUCKING KINDNAPPED ME!”

Bucky growls of something but the gates are finally open and you won’t stop now… All those things you’ve wished to say to him are fighting their way out! All your fears, the anxiety, the stress, the anger; everything comes out!

 You draw a shaky breath and you continue, shouting even louder than before.

“YOU PIECE OF SHIT!”

 Tears are running down your cheeks and your brave façade starts to crumble into pieces…

 Fuck this asshole! He has done it! He has succeeded it! He has finally made you look weak in front of him…

You really hate it when you start crying like a fucking damsel in distress. But all those suffocating feelings and mixed emotions you have experienced these past two days cannot be contained anymore. You’re weeping pathetically now, throwing curses at him and your body shakes from the sobs and the anger.

Bucky expression turns from irritation to dumbfound as you continue screaming into his face.

“YOU HAD NO RIGHT! NO RIGHT!”

Suddenly you jump from the bed and lash at him. Your fists find his chest and you hear him hiss in pain.

“I DID NOTHING WRONG! I DONT DESERVE THIS!”

Another punch, this time aiming for his face but Bucky manages to successfully deflect it, this however angers you even more and you launch another attack at him.

“YOU ARE A BASTARD! A VISCIOUS ONE!”

You swing your fists again but this time Bucky seizes both your wrists and closing his arms around you, he traps your hands behind your back.

You’re heaving and thrashing your body violently trying to escape him but his strong hold is no joke. He tightens his grip even more around you till you hiss in pain and you’re once again trapped against his bulk, snarling at him like a wild animal.

All the while you’re fighting to break free from his grasp, you can feel Bucky whispering words to you, soothing, comforting words and that’s what totally breaks you. Your thrashing stops and now only the loud sobs shake your body. And to your utter mortification you even burry your face in his chest and you cry so hard till you start hiccupping… You just can’t fight it anymore!

Bucky’s lips are in your hair, kissing and caressing the top of your head, still keeping you imprisoned in his bear hug.

And this is makes it soooo much worst!

You would have preferred it if he was just a monster… It would be so easy for you to hate him then and the only thing you’d have to do is to wait for him to kill you.

But no…

He had to be affectionate…. And caring… And sweet… And sexy… And fucking hot as hell, messing with your head the whole fucking time, making you vulnerable and pathetic and… and… and so fucking horny to the point where you just wished for you captor to have his way with you!

And that is sick! Because you can endure the fear and the pain but this? No you can’t have this! Your brain can’t accept it!  It makes you feel so fucking ashamed of yourself! The same time your parents must be worried sick, searching for you, you moan and open your legs willingly for the man who has caused all this suffering to your family!

And you fucking hate him for this!

“I don’t want your pity! Stop hugging me and touching me and kissing me! Just kill me already!” You sniffle.

Bucky doesn’t speak but you can feel his lips moving between tha mess that is your hair.

“I fucking hate you! So much! You had no right! I had a life! I have a family! They must be crazy from worry, wondering if I lay dead somewhere…”

Bucky stills his feathery kisses as you’re voicing your most bitter thoughts.

After that your voice breaks completely and it's like an invisible hand squeezes his heart so hard till his chest hurts.

“I’ve done nothing wrong! I just want to see them again, tell them I’m ok and I know you will never let me do that...”

You hiccup again and continue crying silently with your face hidden in his chest.

“I’m terrified of you…”

Your voice finally trails off and Bucky releases your hands and moves his own to cradle your face and makes you meet his eyes. He too is out of breath when he tries to reassure you.

“Doll I won’t hurt you! I promise!”

But instead of calming you down, this makes you even sadder.

“I wish you would… Because that thing you do right now messes with my head… And I hate it…!”

You just can’t bear to look into his eyes and you turn your face at the side. Your crying has finally managed to subdue and you murmur.

“This is killing me Bucky! This uncertainty! Why you took me? You haven’t killed me yet and you didn’t rape me before but you refuse to let me go and it drives me crazy… I have so many questions… First you terrorize me and then you do this… Like you really care for me… And… A-and I just… I just don’t know what is expected from me… Why I’m even here?”

 You inhale deeply.

“And…I…I… I j…just can’t hate you, you insufferable prick and that makes me hate you even more!”

Ok, you have finally said it all…

If you have seen the cocky smirk that formed onto his lips, Bucky knew for sure you would be livid… So reapplying his serious face, he huffs.

“That makes total sense doll!”

You let an angry little groan and you try to free yourself again and Bucky mentally scolds himself “Bad time for jokes you dick.”

“Doll! Doll!”

When you ignore him and your thrashing increases, he insists louder and more commanding.

“Y/N!”

You stop and look him dead in the eye.

“Let. Me. Go.” You hiss.

Your flushed face turns into an angry scowl and your hair is a tangled mess from all the fighting you have put up but Bucky couldn’t but admire how fucking sexy you look… All the fucking time!

You hate the cheeky way he’s smiling down at you or the way his eyes roam all over your face and when he calmly gives you his reply your irritation spikes some more.

“No! I’m not letting you go!”

 That man has some nerve. You are about to open your mouth and say some really nasty things to him when Bucky bends his head and forcefully crashes his mouth onto yours.

His urgent kiss takes you by surprise, silencing you completely…That till you start struggling to break free but Bucky won’t have it! Almost immediately one hand goes behind your head to keep you still as the other snakes around your waist to secure your body against his. The same time his demanding tongue is forcing your lips open, thrusting itself inside your mouth and start battling with your own.

And that’s it… That’s all it takes and you can’t withhold your pathetic whimpers any longer.

The effect of your sinful whimpers is immediate and his grip around your waist tightens to the point of pain. Bucky groans against your lips, deepening the kiss even more, devouring your mouth for good now!

Such blazing passion explodes between you and soon you’re melting in his arms, kissing him back with the same vigor, swallowing all his hungry grunts and growls until your heart is hammering so hard you can actually hear it!

Bucky has to still his actions before he loses control completely, twice that same day and his eyes open to search into yours. His pupils are so fucking dilated and you feel the evidence of his need against your body… Your naked body!

And somewhere in your haze, you notice how your bare breasts push against his chest, with your hard nipples stand so erect it’s almost painful or how much slick is covering the inside of your thighs!

Oh, that's not happening... Were you always that slutty or this man just brings out the best of you?!

Something pulses between your legs and you whimper again. There are so many things you want, no, so many things you desire from him and a hunger to explore more overtakes you.

You let your small hands wander over the taut muscles of his back all the while you don’t break eye contact.

Bucky shivers and his body becomes so stiff that for a split second you wonder if he’s gonna shatter into thousand pieces if you keep touching him!

You really don't care!!! Let him taste some of his own medicine. Why should it be you the one who constantly looks like a damned mess?!

You take a quick peek at his face and his expression is gold... Hmm... How much more he can take, you wonder!

Bucky, with his eyes shut tight, breathes hard to control his own needs and the only thing moving between your bodies is his chest that goes rapidly up and down and your hands that continue their soft caresses.

Next, you start trailing a path over the muscles of his arms, over his strong chest and when you’re certain that Bucky is going to erupt, they come to a stop across his shoulders. When your small light touches stop, he reluctantly opens his eyes and the look of pure anguish in them steals your breath away. 

But your victory is short lived...

It's his turn next and you feel his big hands travel up to cup your tits and his fingers start almost immediately to play with your erect nipples.

You let out something between a moan and a cry before you bite your lip to silence yourself. He doesn’t like that. He wants all the needy sounds that mouth can produces! His work at your breasts continues but his touch there isn't gentle anymore, and you shiver as his rough hands grip your tits tightly. Bucky waits for a reaction and he actually chuckles when he sees how you furrow your brows, trying hard to keep your mouth shut.

Oh... but you like it so fucking much! The way he fondles and pinches and squeezes the soft flesh there makes want to just throw your head back and start moaning his name but somehow you manage to keep your mouth from doing just that.

But Bucky is a cunning bastard so he doesn’t stop there.. He grinds his growing hardness on you, again and again until he'll see you break.

You yelp and now with your faces mere inches away, you can feel how his hot erratic breath is hitting your face and you can’t help it anymore. You tiptoe and press your mouth firmly against his.

The deep guttural sound that comes through his chest is for your satisfaction only but soon he’s kissing you back harder than before and that makes your knees buckle a little. Bucky groans and holds you more firmly against his body. Your kiss soon becomes sloppy and the wet heat when your tongues touch again sends you for another spin.

You’re panting… Bucky is panting. Both of you are struggling for breath yet you refuse to break the kiss. That goes on forever until you’re sure your lips are going to be bruised from the harshness of the kiss but you don’t mind one bit!

Now is Bucky’s turn to explore as his rough hands are suddenly everywhere; all over your lean back, then at your waist before they finally settle on your hips. There his grip turns iron like you’re going to vanish if he doesn’t hold you like that and you let a exremely needy moan into his mouth.

His mind goes blank… Fuck, but if you keep up with this he’s sure he’s gonna die… Right then and there, in the middle of his fucking basement!

Your own small hands are gripping hard the back of his shoulders as to steady yourself and damn him but he can sense how desperately you’re grinding your lower body into him.

Bucky finally breaks the kiss and pants heavily.

“Doll, you’re driving me mad.”

You are driving him mad???

What about Bucky then? What about what he does to you? There are a million and one reasons why this is the wrong thing for you to do and yet you can’t stop yourself!

The only thing that manages to pass your lips is a little whine as you beg.

“B-Bucky…”

It takes so much effort from you to even mumble his name and your head falls back a little. You can’t think straight anymore; your lower region is on fire and you feel the muscles of your pussy clench frantically, desperately need some kind of release.

Bucky shushes you with a lick on your numb lips and the next moment his mouth moves lower to kiss your jaw repeatedly as he moves one leg between yours, pressing a knee up against your mound.

That sends shockwaves of pure pleasure run through your spine and you let a strangled cry. Your hips jerk up repeatedly and you are now digging your nails into the back of his neck.

Your wanton reaction and the way your juices dampen the fabric of his jeans is all the encouragement Bucky needs and in a blink of an eye he hooks one hand in the bend of your knee, lifting your leg off the ground and guiding you to wrap it around his hip.

 And then… Then heaven happens…

 Bucky’s moving his knee back and forth across your soft and swollen pussy, rubbing you at that maddening spot that makes your whole body writhe in pure ecstasy.

Your mind is a mess… Scattered thoughts and need… So much need! God, moments ago you were yelling at him, stating how much you hate him and now you’re locked in his arms again, rubbing yourself shamelessly onto his knee and panting like a cheap slut!

Bucky is in no better state either because soon he tears his mouth from your face to let out a loud groan.

That makes you even wetter! Damn this man and all these growls he makes…  Really now but who does sounds like these? You want more of those sounds and without thinking one of your hands leaves his neck and tangles its fingers into his long hair, tugging hard. And here it is, his low, deep groan that makes your insides clench and he starts nibbling roughly and sucking at the sensitive skin of your neck where your pulse beats and you lose it!

Once more pain mixed with pleasure has your body writhe in pure agony and a stream of extremely lustful sobs leave your lips and Bucky loves it so fucking much!

You feel something built inside you… That amazing mind-blowing tension is gathering again and your moans increase so much in volume like you’re staring in some kind of porn film. Honestly you can’t bring yourself to care at the moment!

 Bucky keeps rubbing you with his knee and you’re so fucking close….

And…

And Bucky abruptly removes his mouth from your neck, breathing so fucking hard you fear he’ll suffer a stroke or something and with a deep moan that goes straight to your cunt, he removes his knee form between yours, releasing your leg at the same time and takes two hasty steps back.

The pitiful sound of protest that leaves your lips must come out so pathetically needy that something desperate wild flashes in his eyes. When he speaks next his voice is unrecognizable.

“Doll… If you don’t wish to be fucked against that wall I suggest we stop now.”