Lost and found

You’re staring at him out of breath, your brain taking a moment or two to register his words until you finally nod.

For a good amount of time both of you just stand there facing each other and heaving, trying to control your rapid pulses. And once again, you’re mesmerized by how insanely handsome this man is; his strong chest is going up and down as he inhales quick shallow breaths to control his body, his eyes are the finest shade of deep dark blue and the features in his face contort so deliciously as he struggles to keep his distance from you!

Well, you’ll be damned if this isn’t the sexier thing you’ve witnessed in your whole fucking life!

As common sense slowly finds its way back into your head, you come to realize two different things.

First, Bucky really does care about you (never mind how fucked up this might sounds)!

And second, if he’s handled correctly he can be really... manageable!

Well, well, both useful knowledge!

So, now that your brave façade has collapsed for good and you’ve finally admitted how you really feel about this entire situation, there is no point to try and antagonize him anymore…

 Well… Your mind muses… We’ll see about that…

But, if Bucky truly cares about you and he’s honest when he says that he doesn’t intend to harm you in any way then maybe you should start using that in your advance! After all, the man has just showed some exceptional self control; twice that same day to be frankly!

Especially when there is this undeniable pull between you and him… And if you wish to give him some more credit he has managed to stop even when you were rubbing yourself shamelessly on him and you were about to let him do to you whatever the fuck he had in mind!

And that alone says a lot!!!

After your thoughts have become clearer, your attention returns to his face once more and it’s like his intense gaze is piercing your fucking soul…

No, not this fucking staring contest again… Enough with that shit!

Immediately you decide that it’ll be you the one who’s going to step the fuck down this time! You take a small step back, lowering your eyes at the same time (rather timidly you could add) and it’s then you realize you are totally naked and your cheeks heat up again.

Oh, God! Now that you’re no longer turned on to the point you can’t think straight, the fact that you’re standing in front of a man, naked like the day you were born freaks you out and you hastily lift one hand to cover your breasts the same time you cross your legs to hide your glistening pussy.

As for Bucky… He tries! He really does! He’s just a heartbeat away from you, fighting to keep his gaze solemnly on your face because… seriously now, how much more a man can take?!

 But when he notices the haze of lust finally abandons your eyes, he knows that he has to act fast before things between you and him heat up again. He clears his dry throat and rasps.

“I don’t know about you doll but I need an ice-cold fucking shower!”

And he doesn’t wait for an answer as he extends his hand at you and you reluctantly accept it.

“And I’ll need some new clothes..” You whisper still with your gaze pinned on the floor. “Since you’ve destroyed mine!”

Bucky hums his approval and guides you gently towards the door that leads upstairs but before he opens it he stops and turns to face you.

“Promise you won’t be a fucking menace?”

Your head shot up and you lift your eyebrows in protest.

“I am not a menace!”

He smirks before he pushes you through the door while he chuckles.

“Doll, I beg to differ!”

----------------------------------------------------------------

Bucky lets you shower first and he even has the sensitivity to allow you some privacy. You take your time scrubbing yourself clean and only after your skin is pink and smooth again you turn off the water and step out the shower. The moment you do that you see the small pile of clothes Bucky has left for you. It’s his clothes and literally double your size but they are clean and soft, smelling just like him and that sends stupid butterflies straight in your stomach…

Pff… Get it together Y/N!

Rolling your eyes at the way your traitorous body reacts to that man or even to the mere thought of him, you inspect yourself at the mirror and sigh heavily…

Well, those last two days have definitely taken their toll on you but thank God you don’t look that awful… Just tired… Overwhelmed maybe…And a little silly wearing these huge clothes that make you look even tinier than you already are. The long henley looks like a dress on you, reaching all the way down to your knees and the sweat-pants are so buggy you have difficulty walking around but they are warm...and his! 

"There're just clothes!" Your mind huffs.

You inspect your body for a minute longer... Ok, you guess they'll have to do for now... At least you're sure you couldn't look less sexier in an outfit and that's good because even if your own body fails you, Bucky might not be so eager to try something else for the time being.

With a small comb you find you try to untangle your long hair and when you’re certain that there is nothing better you can do you draw a sharp breath and you step outside to meet your captor.

Bucky, who already looks clean and fresh (and that has you wonder how many fucking rooms this house has), is reclining in his bed lazily, checking something on his phone but the moment his eyes spot your silhouette, the warm smile that forms on his lips sends some more of those freaking butterflies in your belly and suddenly you feel that familiar uneasiness crawling its way back inside you.

“What the heck are you supposed to do now?”

Bucky can read you like a fucking open book and sensing your nervousness, he’s rising to his feet in no time, approaching you cautiously like you are his wounded baby deer again. You stay perfectly still even when his hand flies up to tuck a loose wet strand of hair behind your ear. Only your eyes seem restless searching his face for what is to follow.

“Doll, there is no need for you to be scared! I’ve already promised you are in no danger.”

He speaks so softly and that somehow does the trick and you feel the tense muscles of your body relax a bit.

Bucky opens his mouth to add something but then your empty stomach does such a profound growling sound of protest and you look up at him totally embarrassed by your body’s basic needs.

His only reaction is his warm smile that gets even bigger and the next moment Bucky gently takes your hand is his, slowly tugging you towards another door.

You let him guide you and you only flinch when you put too much weight on your bruised ankle. Once again, Bucky reacts like he can fucking read you because he bends instantly and collects you in his arms bridal style. Again no protest leave your lips, you just bring both your arms to close around his neck and you let him carry you all the way to the kitchen where he sits you gently in an old wooden chair and kneeling in front of you he states.

“Doll we have to talk.”

He is dead serious suddenly, his previous warm smile has disappeared completely now. That causes some dread to gather in the pit of your stomach. You gulp and you nod anxiously.

Your eyes are following him again as he paces around the kitchen picking this and that till he returns and places a plate full of food in front of you. You stare at him and then at the food in front of you as Bucky is coaxing.

“I’ll do the talking while you eat! And don’t even think to try anything stupid this time!”

You don’t miss the imminent threat in his voice but when your eyes widen he adds more calmly.

“You haven’t eaten anything since yesterday and I’m not gonna let you starve yourself. Understood?”

He waits, looking down at you like a parent who’s scolding their naughty child and only after you nod silently he steps back, taking his seat across the table and facing you.

So that’s how it goes… You realize how really hungry you are only after the first bite touches your lips... So you focus on your food and Bucky does the talking…

Well, at least you think he does… You can’t really pay much attention to what he’s currently saying, only catching a few words here and there as your whole attention is solemnly on the delicious meal in front of you as you are literally inhaling it, putting so much food in your mouth in one spoonful and forcing it down your throat, not even wasting time to chew properly. You choke a few times but not even that is enough to stop you from gobbling down the remnants of the meal.

Only after the last crumbs have disappeared from your plate, you notice that Bucky has stopped talking and he is observing you rather amused. You lift your face and you give him a puzzled look. That only makes him chuckle harder.

“Slow down doll… At this rate you’re gonna eat the fucking table next…”

You ignore his teasing, you just gulp down some water to help your food go down and say something incoherent that makes Bucky shake his head.

“What happened at “I want Steve to feed me?” He says mimicking your voice and the chuckle that follows after turns a little mean…

You toss him an annoyed glare and you open your mouth to reply something nasty but fast his mischievous chuckle evolves into hearty laugher and he looks so young and handsome and sweet and… and.. You must ogle him again because soon he laughs even louder and you let a silent curse under your breath.

“You know what they say doll, huh?”

You frown. Who says what?

Bucky, with that toothy lopsided smile that makes your heart beat a little faster, adds cockily.

 “Take a damn picture. It lasts longer!”

You blush so angrily you feel your ears buzzing. You’re sure you’ll die from embarrassment right there and then and your brain goes so numb you cannot find anything equally smart to toss back at him! So… you just ogle some more until a voice inside you snaps.

“For the love of God! Stop staring at him like he’s an eye candy!”

Quick you avert your eyes and try to focus in anything but him but you catch a movement with the corner of your eye and it's Bucky, kneeling next to your seat, his face almost at the same level as yours due to the height difference.

He has this hungry intensity in his eyes again and your feverish blush spreads even lower till you feel that your whole body is on fire.

And that naughty smirk on his lips…That wicked, devilish smirk… Oh, this self-assured mother fucker… He must be so extremely pleased with himself and the effect he has upon you!

You swallow hard a few times to help you put back on your unfazed expression and turn your head slightly to meet his stare.

You are caught again in this inner debate as to whether you’d like to slap that grin off his face or not.

Or maybe kiss him…

Oh... How much you would like to kiss those lips, let your tongue explore that mouth again, swallow down all his grunts and growls... And maybe this time he won't stop and he...

You mentally slap your own self... Get it together now and stop acting like a sex starved person!

When you finally manage to control your impulses and your tongue as you don’t wish to risk that newfound peace between you and him, you just glare at him and wait. You could swear now that every time you glare or you narrows your eyes at him, that does things to Bucky... And to your utter delight, you watch as the grin slowly disappears from his face, giving it's place to something darker. Well, Bucky himself doesn’t look much unfazed by your closeness anymore. His tightly pressed mouth and his labored breathing speak volumes and that offers you some comfort at least; it’s good to know that you’re not the only horny person in the room!

After a loooong moment you hear him clearing his throat but when his deep voice says your name you feel another surge of wetness goes straight to your core. 

What the fuck is going on between the two of you and you both act like some starved teenagers?

Bucky repeats your name one more time and when he’s sure he has your attention, he speaks.

“You didn’t pay any attention to what I was telling you before so I’ll repeat it! You have nothing to worry about as long as you behave yourself.”

You frown.

“And if I don’t?”

You don’t ask this question in order to poke his good spirit but you’re genuinely curious… This expectation from his part could be a little tricky! What does a “good behavior” include for him? Or what will happen if you don’t behave? Is he going to harm you then? He said he won’t… But you can never be certain when it comes to a man like him…

Bucky tilts his head and tsks you.

“I’d have sworn that you know the answer to that already…”

Your eyes widen and he chuckles low and dark again.

“Every time you misbehave I’ll punish you!”

What?

You hurry to protest.

“But you said I’m not in any danger… That you won’t hurt me…” Your voice trails off.

His strong hands come up to rest on your lap and he lightly squeezes your upper thighs.

“Doll… I really fail to see how a punishment to help you learn your place puts you in any danger…”

Before you think of anything to say, Bucky goes on.

“Quite the opposite I’d say! The sooner you learn how to be a good girl the better.”

And he adds the next part with a slight scowl on his face.

“You’ll never be comfortable in this home if you insist acting like a brat! Just let go and accept your place!”

Your place? Wha…

You are speechless… Again! Your frantic mind goes over a million miles a minute and you start hyperventilating.

Is this your new home now? How long does he intend to keep you here? What “good girl” means exactly? A slave girl? A sex worker girl? A pet girl? A servant girl? What the fuck does he want from you?

You stare back at him in disbelief but as you search his face you cannot help but notice how much sincerity there is in his eyes… You don’t want to but a pitiful cry escapes your lips.

This delusional fucker truly believes every word coming out of his mouth!

You swallow again to suppress more cries and you hate how weak your voice sounds when you speak next.

“And what place that would be Bucky? Please tell me what that means for me!”

At you desperate plea Bucky opens his mouth but closes it again.

How he can share what that means for you without freaking you out? No, he can’t share his motives with you… No yet!  You’re not ready to accept him or your new life! It’s too soon and he’s just barely managed to coax you to sit down and have a civilized conversation with him… He can’t risk ruining that… No, you don’t need to know anything yet. He just needs to keep you here long enough until you eventually accept your place in his life.

You are his…

But you are waiting for an explanation and you look so sweet and fragile, chewing your bottom lip like that… Ok… he doesn’t have to be completely honest with you.

“I haven’t figured out that yet doll.. Let’s just say that for the time being you’re my guest!”

His hold on your thighs tightens a bit and states the next part more serious.

“And you do as I say, when I say it, without talking back. Is that clear doll?”

Anxiety forgotten! This man has a certain way to bring out the best of you right? And to think that you were really trying to behave yourself moments ago! You can’t stop your scoff that dripping off sarcasm.

“Pff… A guest! Yeah right! But please don’t mind me! Keep going and tell me more, don’t let me spoil your reverie!”

His eyes narrow at you and he scorns.

“Another thing I don’t appreciate doll is repeating myself! Also I’d strongly suggest you to hold your tongue from now on! Final warning!”

There are so many things you want to say right to his face but noooo, you are not going to risk angering him again that same day…

But that doesn’t necessarily mean that you’re going to sit there idly, accepting all the crazy bullshits that this asshole is telling you.

“Very well Bucky! Soooo… if, as you’ve said, I’m some kind of guest here then…”

It’s your turn to narrow your eyes.

“This only means that you’ll have to treat me fairly. Correct?”

You really don’t wish to antagonize him… It’s just that itchy feeling this insufferable prick stirs inside you!

Bucky presses his lips together and dares you with his eyes. Not a good sign.

 “Fairly?”

You meet his stare with confidence.

“Yeah…”

You watch as he shots one eyebrow up and inquires.

“Haven’t I so far?”

You snort loudly at his question.

“Sure, if you say so… !”

Bucky licks his lower lip… Something you’ve noticed he always does when he’s irritated. Oh, shoo... Did you just rile him up again?!

You offer him a smirk; a very caustic smirk.

“Guests are allowed some liberties… Am I free to wander outside whenever I want then? Or contact other people? Or even speak my freaking mind whenever I want?”

When he refuses to gift you with a reply, your cynical smirk spreads wider.

“What? Is this a no? Am I overstepping again?”

You bring your palm up to touch your chest in an overdramatically way and you mock.

“Well, excuse me then for saying this out loud but it seems to me you’re a lousy host Bucky!”

His hands leave your thighs and travel upwards where he grabs your hips and roughly pulls your body till your bottom hanging on the edge of the chair.

“How’s your little butt feeling doll? Comfortable enough huh? Cause my hands are itchy all of a sudden!”

You inhale a sharp breath! Oh no! This fucker wouldn’t dare spank you again in that same day!

 Your eyes are big as saucers as they’re searching his face to see if he actually intends to spank you again.

Bucky wants to chuckle after seeing your reaction to his threat…

Well, well, well, look of what a little punishment can do! And in your case... fucking miracles!

But he manages to keep his face even and his only reaction is to grab a hold of your jaw and plant a light kiss on your lips. You put your hands on his shoulders in a vain attempt to shove him back but his grip is steel and after he takes his time to enjoy your pathetic struggles, Bucky finally pulls back and winks at you.

Oh, this insufferable man!

Immediately after he’s standing back on his feet again, grabbing your arms to drag you along with him. You yelp a little.

What now? Where is he taking you? Your mind wonders frantically. Really now? Is he going to punish you for a few witty replies?

Bucky loses no time, picking you up bridal style again and you’re so sure you’re about to receive another vicious spanking that your body goes rigid in his hands. He must find the way his words have affected you very amusing because he bites his lip not to laugh.

“Don’t worry doll! Even though I would like nothing more than to bend you over my knee right now I’m not sure if seeing your pretty round ass again I’ll be able to hold myself for a third time this night…”

Ooooh, does he really think that you have a round pretty ass?

OMG! You scold the needy voices in your head... Can we hold it together please???

Trying hard to ignore the mess that's happening inside your head, your eyes flutter and you ask out of breath.

“So where are you taking me?”

A deep exhale shudders his chest and you feel the fingers that hold your body, twitch a little.

“Well doll, believe it or not, all those delightful tete-a-tetes we had together have really exhausted me. Plus you need some rest too… So..”

You make a face… Like you do not quite believe him. But after you scan his face, no, you don’t think he’s bluffing. He sounds sincere plus he doesn’t look mad at you anymore…

Ok… You could use some rest! After all, you too feel really worn out… You wouldn’t say no to his soft bed…

But wait, yesterday he let you sleep in his room alone… But that was only because you had managed to rile him up so much he had stridden off the room fuming… What about tonight? Where does he plan to sleep tonight?

“Ok… So… where do I sleep?” You ask hesitant.

You see the glint of mischief in his eyes.

“You sleep with me baby doll!” Bucky offers after a while.

“Excuse me?”

You feign shock… but common let’s be honest, you were expecting that! You just protest a little for the sake of what dignity has been left in you. That doesn’t make it sound less ridiculous though! Especially after the shameful way you were dripping wet for him before…

He totally ignores you and only the way the corners of his mouth hitch up in delight, indicates that he has heard your protests!

Jerk!

Bucky swiftly makes it through the rooms that lead into his bedroom and promptly throw you on his big bed. You land on your back with a startled gasp and the next second he’s looming over you. He’s looks so big and promising… of the things he could do to you! At the mere thought your gaze drop on his lips before you quickly raise them up to his eyes and Bucky tsk-es you.

“Is there something I can do for you little doll?”

He leans a bit closer and teases you.

“You know… All you have to do is ask…”

And leaning even closer he adds.

“And you shall receive…”

Oh, you cocksure motherfucker! You can take your biblical quoting and shove it up your ass!

You hope you haven’t said that out loud! You truly don’t trust yourself much at the moment, especially when this man’s looming over you!

And soon things only get worse as your chest starts rise and fall rapidly as you watch how his own gaze travels leisurely all the way down to your mound and then back to your face again.

Nonononono! NOT again!

You close your eyes to calm your heart beat. You won’t go down that path again… It’s bad enough already that you’re sleeping in the same bed with him, especially after how your traitorous body reacts around him.

You peer up at him and he still hasn’t move an inch, staring you with those wolfish eyes of his but this time you won’t do him the favor to get all worked up for him. Why is he even looking at you like that again… Didn’t he say moments ago that he’s exhausted from all this! What the heck is he trying to do then? Play with you? Have fun at how miserably you fail to control your own body?

It infuriates you so fucking much! Why doesn’t he allow you some peace? Oh, look at him, so pleased with himself, thinking that you must be crazy for him or something.

“Aren’t you?” That familiar slutty voice questions you. “Oh, hush!” Your still functioning part of your brain commands.

You slowly lift your eyelids, meeting his piercing gaze and with the sweetest voice you could muster, you mock.

“Don’t flatter yourself Bucky! After all, it is not me the one who looks like a starving dog at the moment!”

That wipes off his cocky smirk!

His first thought is to pin you down and make you regret your words (seriously now, how many times this thought is going to pop into his mind in one fucking day?) but he knows for sure that if he starts something again he won’t be able to stop this time (even though he’s certain you’re going to let him do whatever the fuck he wants with you!).

 But no, now it’s not the time. He’ll have plenty of opportunities for that in the future when you’ll be more open and docile. He can wait for a little longer. So swallowing down his anger he demands.

“Give me your hands!”

You’re taken aback… to say the least!

“Why?”

At your distrustful look he chuckles.

“Cause I don’t trust you won’t attempt to stab me in my sleep. Come doll, your hands.”

You jaw falls when he retrieves something from his back pocket that looks like… fucking tie wrap.

Your legs kick and you crawl backwards until your back is pressed flat against the headboard.

“Are you fucking serious?”

Bucky tilts his head and grins.

“Ahhh this mouth…! Eventually I’ll have to find a better use for it!”

But you don’t pay any attention to his crude warning. Right now you have other concerns… Like those fucking things he holds in his hands.

 “You can’t tie me with those you abusive jerk!” You practically scream at him.

He has this saucy expression on his face as he purrs.

“Oh baby! But I can and I will!”

 And with that he lurches forward.