It had been a year since Shuri stepped foot in an ocean alone. Well, a year and a handful of days. Thirteen days. Not that she was counting.
She would often play with Nakia and her nephew in Haiti, but if Nakia ever noticed her flinch at a particularly large wave or how she shrank away from anything deeper than the sparkling seafoam that lapped at her ankles, she never said anything. Shuri had chipped away her anger and grief quite a bit, but the fear clung harder. A cat-person afraid of water sounded like a funny joke and Shuri would appreciate the irony a lot more if she wasn’t living it.
Nevertheless, she was determined. She snuck away from her home in the middle of the night and came back to the spot where she first met…Namor. She wanted to reclaim that spot. Turning the place where she met the person who gave her the fear of water into the place where she overcame her fear of water sounded poetic. There was definitely no other reason, it had nothing to do with the unfortunately attractive mutant who she definitely shouldn’t be lusting over.
The moonlight gently illuminated the water as she stepped into it. Bast, it’s cold, she thought as she waded in shin-deep. The air around her was warm and the only sounds were the leaves rustling and water rippling and swirling around her legs. She looked up at the dotted sky and full moon and closed her eyes. She felt at peace. Truly at peace.
She took another step forward, and another step, and another step. The water was past her knees now, but the night still felt so comforting and there was no pang of fear she would usually feel at this depth.
“I think I will just go to my waist today,” Shuri whispered at the moon as she took a few more steps forward. The water carried her weight now, and she felt like she was gliding. It was harder to walk in chest-deep water, not that she minded. She smiled as she lifted her legs off the sand and let her arms push her forward, and stifled a giggle as she swam, actually swam. How long had it been since she was able to enjoy the weightlessness and freedom that came with the water?
She flipped on her back and let the gentle tide pull her in further. Why had she been so scared of the water for so long? Namor and her had entered an (uneasy) alliance and she was stronger. He seemed to be an honorable person who wouldn’t attack her for revenge, or maybe that was her brain desperately trying to make him seem better. You would have done the same in his shoes. He was protecting his people. You clipped his wings. Those thoughts, and his “it could have been different” rang in her head a lot when she thought about him.
Shuri decided to head back to shore. She let her feet sink to the ground and was immediately gripped by fear when her toes didn’t brush the ground. It’s okay, you just swam far away. Just swim back. The waves weren’t heavy, but their current was strong and it was taking a lot of energy to swim against it. Energy that was slowly being diverted to Shuri’s growing panic. Her heart started thudding too fast and her strokes were getting sloppier as she realized she had barely gotten closer to shore. The trees were still so distant. The leaves glowed as they caught the moonlight and danced tantalizingly far away from her in the wind.
For one second, she considered giving up. What did she have to live for? M’Baku was managing Wakanda just fine. Riri had shown great promise and could take her place as head of the lab with the help of Griot. She had no family and barely any friends to live for. Nakia and Toussaint would miss her, but they would heal the same way she did from her mother and brother’s death. Maybe it was time to just close her eyes and succumb.
She felt her muscles relax and her head sink under the water. The ocean was cool and welcoming as her heart rate slowed down. Her lungs burned but the pain was distant.
Suddenly, something wrapped around her waist and pulled her up. She jerked as her head went above the water, then the rest of her body. I’m flying? She blinked her burning eyes back into focus. Namor?
He was there in all his godlike glory, dripping wet as he looked at her. One arm was hooked under her knees and the other around her back. His eyes were dark and swirling with intensity and his face…Bast what Shuri would do to run a hand through his hair or trace his face with her fingers. She was pressed against his muscles and if she leaned forward slightly, she could touch his neck with her nose. Not that she wanted to.
“Hello, princess.”
His silky voice, the surprise of seeing him, the fear still ebbing through her muscles, and the exhaustion from today all caught up to her at once, and Shuri promptly passed out.
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She woke up on the shore, Bast knows how many hours later. Her whole body ached and it hurt to breathe. She felt like attacking herself, she was so stupid for doing too much too soon. Whatever happened to one step at a time?
The sky was still dark and twinkling and Shuri rolled over onto her belly and groaned. She stretched like a cat and stood up facing the forest. What even happened? Everything after drowning was hazy.
Like waves, the memories crashed over her a second later. Namor…
She turned around to face the ocean and there he was. Silently hovering over the water, no trace of broken wing. She flinched slightly in surprise but masked it as well as she could. Shuri didn’t know whether to feel happy or sad that the only wound she had caused him had healed. She took a year to get over her mother and rebuild Wakanda and she was still getting over her fear of water and he had already regrew his clipped wing and was flying as normal?
Anger bubbled up Shuri’s throat, but she held it at bay. He had saved her. They were allies. He owed her and now he repaid his debt.
“Thank you,” Shuri spat out. Venom dripped from her tone and she sounded anything but thankful, but Namor only nodded.
“Stay safe princess. We will talk tomorrow,” he said with his delectable voice. Shuri didn’t even have time to react to his demand before he turned and dove in the water.
Show off. Jerk. Dumbass. Fish boob. Hot shithead– Shuri’s stream of insults as she trekked back to her room was interrupted by her admittance to her attraction. He was objectively attractive, yes, but he killed her mother!
“I’m officially going insane,” Shuri said and shook her head. You would have done the same in his shoes and he was protecting his people rang through her head again. She forgave him, even if she would never forget the world of hurt he put her through. But it was justified. Even though it hurt so much. It made sense. Even though it caused her so much pain.
Shuri was so damn tired of being noble. She just wanted to be upset and mad with him, but already regret and guilt were starting to pool in her stomach from the way she treated him. He had just saved her life, even though it would have been easier to let her drown. Her disappearance in the middle of the night wouldn’t cause a war, so there was no reason for him to save her. He was also not motivated by revenge, and that had to mean something about him.
Shuri didn’t understand why her brain was working in overdrive to justify him. Justify him for what? To make her feel okay about being attracted to him? Is there ever a world where she could ever love the man who attacked her country and killed her mother?
“It could have been different,” she whispered as she entered the palace and crept up to her room. She could have seen his intense, dark eyes filled with love instead of hatred. She could have heard compliments falling from his soft lips instead of insults. His arms could have wrapped around her waist instead of around the spear through her abdomen.
She climbed under the covers and fell into a restless sleep, Namor’s dark eyes haunting her dreams.
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The whole day, there was a pit in Shuri’s stomach that she could not settle. Namor’s words hung in the air around her and she was constantly debating going to the beach to meet him. But why should she? The debt was settled, they were still allies, there was no reason beyond Shuri’s own desire to meet Namor again.
K'uk'ulkan, as he called himself. Shuri wasn’t an enemy anymore. At least, she didn’t feel like an enemy anymore. Still, she didn’t feel like a friend either, and she did not want to see the god tonight. She didn’t like the feelings he stirred in her.
K'uk'ulkan? More like kooky fishman. Shuri thought with a small smile. She then looked outside the windows of the lab. The moon hung low, a sliver smaller than yesterday. If he was expecting her at the same place and time as yesterday, he was going to be sorely disappointed.
She turned around and immediately startled. Namor – K'uk'ulkan – the god was standing right there, in all his nearly-naked glory. His hair was damp and fluffy, his lips set in a straight line, and his eyes burned with their usual intensity. Her whole body immediately heated up and her heartbeat sped as she looked at him. A few drops of water still dripped down his broad shoulders…and his chest, Bast. She quickly looked up to see a small smirk on his lips. His hands were pointedly free of any weapons, but he didn’t need a weapon to be deadly.
Silence blanketed the lab. Why did Griot not inform her? How did he manage to get in the palace? Why did he want to see her so badly? These questions swirled around her head as she assessed him like a panther does its prey. But was she really the predator in this situation?
“What do you want me to call you?” Shuri finally asked. All those questions could be saved for a day she had the energy to ask them. She did not feel like playing mind games or letting him see how vulnerable she was. The wall around her heart was made of cards and she did not want him to figure that out.
He looked at her. Shuri couldn’t tell if he was surprised by her question, but he seemed to be mulling it over. “Whatever you want, Princess.” He said. Shuri’s eyebrows twitched. She wanted him to define their relationship, but now the onus was on her. Would she call him her enemy or a friend? Namor or K'uk'ulkan?
How about neither?
“Okay, fishboy,” she said with a straight face and defiant glint in her eyes. She waited for him to protest, but he just smiled.
“If that’s what you want to call me.”
“It is.”
Despite the friendly name, Shuri knew she had drawn a line between them. She hadn’t identified him as foe nor friend, but as something in between. She was keeping him at arm’s length.
After another beat of silence, she spoke again.
“Why are you here?” Her stance had relaxed. She was no longer a panther ready to strike, but a panther watching and waiting. She took a step back and felt the coolness of the window behind her. even if she didn’t feel like she was in immediate danger, having her back covered made her feel safer.
“I saw you in the water.” At this, his face and voice took on a more serious tone.
Shuri thought back to her swim. “What did you see?” Her voice was frostier, hoping he didn’t mean he saw her give up.
He took a step forward, palms turned up. Gentle. Inviting. Nonthreatening. Somehow it put Shuri more on edge.
“I saw you,” he began softly, “swimming.” He paused. “Drowning.” He was handling her like she was glass that would shatter if the wind blew too hard.
Shame and embarrassment filled Shuri and she snarled before she had time to control her emotions. “You don’t know what I was doing or why! You don’t know anything!”
“I know you are in pain, Shuri.” A shiver went down her spine at the sound of his sensually deep, accented voice saying her name. She loved the way his name rolled off his tongue. She hated how she loved it.
He took another step forward. He was now only two feet away from her, and close enough that she had to tilt her chin up a little to maintain eye contact. She would be lying if she said she didn’t find it attractive. She always had a thing for the dangerous and unpredictable. And his raw strength and confusing behavior made him very dangerous and unpredictable. He was like the ocean, capable of switching between calm, beautiful ripples and violent, raging tsunamis with no warning.
“And who’s fault is that?” Shuri responded, trying to cut him with her tongue. She wanted him to react, to be as caught off-guard as her. Still, he didn’t even flinch at her insinuation.
“I am very sorry about everything. We both let vengeance consume us and hurt each other.” His response was so plain and diplomatic and emotionless that Shuri felt like lashing out with her claws. She wanted to see him bleed.
“You attacked my country! You killed my people! You killed my mother! Bast, I took a year to rebuild my nation and heal from their deaths! I am still afraid of water! And here you are, even your wing is healed! You lost nothing. You do not get to say I hurt you when I didn’t even leave a little scar and you ripped my whole world apart, Namor!” How could she be so naïve? It didn’t matter if they were allies or friendly or whatever, he would always be her enemy. He would always be Namor.
“Shuri…” Namor was inching forward. Shuri hadn’t even noticed she was trembling until she let out a shaky breath. Namor kept taking hesitant steps forward and Shuri’s muscles tensed. She felt cornered and threatened.
Once he was close enough, she threw a fast punch. Why? She didn’t even know. She just wanted him to stop, go away, hurt.
He immediately grabbed her wrist and twirled her against him. With her back against his chest, she could faintly feel his steady heartbeat. His powerful arms held hers against her chest and she noted how surprisingly warm he was. She also noted how her butt was pressed against his…area, but he didn’t seem to mind at all.
She struggled against his grasp, but he barely budged. Her arms were well and truly stuck and all she could do was stay. Stand pressed against his warm, damp, bare chest. She expected the shells and jewels on his necklace to feel uncomfortable, but they were smooth and hardly pressed into her skin.
As she tried again to pull her arms away, she became painfully aware of his lips barely brushing her ear.
“Yield.” His breath and voice sent goosebumps down her arms but the only reaction Shuri showed was a mirthless chuckle. This situation was nothing like that day on the beach.
She hooked her foot under his leg and toppled him over, taking advantage of his loosened grip and twisting around. He fell on his back and she landed on top, straddling him. Her hands were splayed across his chest and she could feel how hard his muscles were. She didn’t even get a chance to speak before he grabbed her and flipped over. Now he was straddling her. His hands pinned her wrists on either side of her head and his face was dangerously close to hers.
“Do you yield?” He smells like the sea.
“Get off me!” Shuri hissed, but Namor didn’t move. His deep, dark eyes stared so intensely into hers that she had to look away. Her eyes flicked back to his face and she noticed a slight smirk. That bastard was enjoying this!
He leaned in closer, close enough for her to see her reflection in his dark eyes. “Do you yield?” He repeated with his sinfully smooth voice. And that accent, how it made Shuri want to kiss his stupid lips.
Shuri didn’t see a way out of this and their position was sending her stomach tumbling. Not to mention, if Okoye or one of her lab assistants decided to make a midnight lab visit, she was probably never going to live this down.
“Yes, I yield.” Shuri rolled her eyes and Namor stood up smoothly, bending over to offer a hand. Shuri looked at his hand incredulously and then into his eyes. He looked slightly amused, not at all like the Namor she fought a year ago or encountered in her nightmares. He was always so…angry and full of hatred or lust in her dreams. Now he looked almost like a normal person. An incredibly attractive, heavily decorated person with an air of confidence that betrayed his royalty and power, but somewhat normal nevertheless.
“So, as you so politely asked,” Namor was now full-on smirking and amusement twinkled in his dark eyes, “I am here to offer you swimming lessons. Since clearly you cannot be trusted in the water alone.” He didn’t sound mocking or rude at all, he sounded genuinely sincere. Shuri bit her lip in thought and noticed, satisfactorily, that Namor’s gaze fell to her lips for a split second before reconnecting with her eyes. He didn’t even feel one-tenth of the electricity she felt with him, but at least he felt something.
“Why do you want to give me swimming lessons? How does this benefit you?” Shuri’s arms were crossed. She could still feel his hands around her wrists, his chest against her back, his breath on her ear.
“I still owe you. You stopped an all-out war between our nations and nothing I ever do will be able to repay you, but if I can provide even the tiniest bit of help I would love to,” he said.
“Fine. Only if you promise to tell me how you managed to enter my lab,” Shuri said as she walked to the exit.
He chuckled. “I make no promises, Princess.”
“And I will get my answers, Fishboy.” No longer foe. She looked over at him to see him smiling at her. Her heart started thudding and she looked away. He looked almost…adoringly at her. Or was she just going insane? Just a moment ago, he was attacking her.
Defending, her brain reminded. You were attacking.
They stepped out into the warm night air. The slight breeze barely managed to shake the comfortable warmth settled over the land. The sounds of wildlife mixed with dancing branches immediately put Shuri at peace, and she looked at him. He held out an arm.
“What?” What did he want to do?
“Do you trust me?” Shuri barked out a laugh before evaluating him. He looked so sincere and unguarded and serious, Shuri couldn’t bear to crack his heart. Something told her that her answer would be another definitive point in their…relationship.
“Yes.” She shuffled next to him and he wrapped an arm around her waist.
“Hold on tight,” he said and suddenly they were in the air. Shuri screeched and clung to him, feeling his chest rumble as he laughed at her. They shot through the sky and went far higher than they needed to. He stopped a few hundred feet off the ground and Shuri took in the sight below.
She had seen Wakanda from above many times, but never like this. Never floating without a suit, able to take it all in without a pressing matter on her mind. She slightly relaxed her grip on the god to enjoy the sight.
Bast, this is beautiful.
“Give me a warning next time,” she said. She was going for reprimanding, but she sounded playful. His lips curled and he looked at her. Their noses were inches away from each other and he held the silence for a second. She could hear his wings beating and hoped the healing process hurt as much as hers did. But he did heal, eventually. And so did she.
“Of course.”
Again, it could have been different rang through her head again. Looking at him now, Shuri wondered if it was different now. They still had a long way to go, but there seemed to be a path lain out for them. A long, windy, unconventional path, but one that she was willing to take for him.
She wrapped her arms around his neck and closed the distance between their lips.