Prologue
1942, New York
On the surface, Ermenjart Marie Sousa has a great life. She lives in a decent neighborhood of New York, her family owns a compound for a home, she just finished high school in a Catholic school, her father is a pharmacist who owned a medium sized pharmacy making good money, her mother is a very dutiful wife doing all the household chores, her 2 brothers are fighting and surviving in the war and her mother and sisters dote on her. The only problem is that she wanted so much more than this. To be more precise, she wants to go to college, become a journalist and make a name for herself. Her father refused to allow her to do that.
Although he was never emotionally or physically abusive, she found him suffocating because of his extremely rigid views on gender roles. For him, women were supposed to be active only in the private, home life while men were active in public. Due to this, he considered higher education or job training a waste of time for girls and a shameful sign to the father and brother/s that they couldn't provide for their family. He believed that he was their head with a duty to "control" them. He showed more favor to his sons and would make major life and family decisions with no input from his wife and daughters.
From the time Ermen was a little girl, she always knew she just can't conform to his sexist views. Her first introduction to this was when she was 8 years old and her father was talking to one of her uncles about the children. The conversation turned to the future inheritor of the pharmacy shop and she immediately replied that it was going to be her. He shot her a dirty glare while her uncle laughed saying she was more ambitious than his teenage son. Although this earned her an angry sermon from her father, a stern warning from her mother not to repeat it and even if she had no real plans to become a pharmacist, she refused to apologize for what she said.
The fact that her mother and her sisters tolerated his views puzzled her. She always felt their argument that he was the head of the family and better educated than him and ought to be obeyed a very weak explanation. How sure were they of that? She also was extremely disgusted all of them kept pandering to him regardless of anything. Did they not want to be as free as their brothers? Did they not want to have equality and a voice?
The only person in her family who treated her as an equal was her brother Daniel. She always appreciated that he would include her in almost everything he did and never treated her differently because she was a girl. This would get him side eyes from their father and disapproving looks from their mother but he didn't care. He knew her value and the value of her dreams and their father's sexist opinions didn't matter. This also made it very difficult for them both when he had to join the army during the war and ship overseas.
Ermen realized she had no other choice but to leave one Sunday dinner. She just graduated high school and was planning her next steps when her father mentioned that there was a young man who moved nearby and was supposedly looking for a wife. She immediately replied that she had no plans to marry and he raised her voice at her saying only prostitutes and "loose women" did that. She was more terrified than shocked when he rattled on that marriage was the most proper step and that he would do her a favor and find her a suitable man to marry. Daniel was away fighting overseas so there was no one who could help her.
Later that night, she tossed and turned in bed because she felt stuck between a rock and a hard place. If she left New York and her family, she would basically leave everything she knew and loved. If she stayed, she would be trapped in a life she never wanted and was forcibly imposed on her. She could kiss all her dreams goodbye. Her thoughts suddenly turned to what she wanted more; Safety or freedom? Her decision was as clear as daylight.
The next day she planned and prepared to escape. She decided to use her savings from her allowance to fly to anywhere. She'd pack all her belongings in a suitcase, she'd try to get a job and a place to stay there and she would try to save up to get herself a degree. It wasn't a foolproof plan but it was a plan and she was satisfied. She just couldn't figure out where to go. Staying in the New York and the East Coast area was too near to her family and out of the question.
At the supermarket later that afternoon while accompanying her mother, she overheard a conversation between two women where one of them was moving to LA. She claimed her husband was easily able to get a job and a nice house to stay almost immediately. Ermen knew where she was going. It was a far enough place from her family and had a reputation for fresh starts. Her heart beat so fast.
Armed with only a suitcase with all her belongings and $10, she left her family home a week later after doing her morning chores. She sighed sadly as she took a last glance at her childhood bedroom knowing she may never return. As she descended down the stairs to catch her flight, she unexpectedly bumped into her mother. She looked at her from head to toe, the suitcase in her hands then handed her $10 more. In her shock, she was only able to nod while walking to the door.
Her flight was normal and uneventful but she was filled with a mix of emotions. She was supposed to be happy to be free but she felt she was mourning for the life she left behind. She was supposed to be disgusted by her mother but she felt sad for her. She was relieved to be away from her father but saddened she would, in all likelihood, never see her siblings especially Daniel again. The only thing she was certain was that she made the right choice whatever happened.
The salty air and dry heat of LA greeted Ermen as she stepped out of the plane to begin her new life.